WEBVTT - Spilling the Chili with Brian Baumgartner 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:05.160 Hell I Suck a Dating with Dengler Dared Haven I 0:00:05.280 --> 0:00:12.400 heart radio podcast. What's going on, Sucky Daters? Welcome to 0:00:12.440 --> 0:00:15.600 an all new episode of Help I Suck at Dating? 0:00:15.640 --> 0:00:19.840 Reporting live from Las Vegas, Nevada. Is me Dean Angler, 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:23.079 and reporting live from somewhere on the East Coast. I 0:00:23.120 --> 0:00:25.200 always forget where he is. He's either in Rhode Island 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:31.240 or Boston, or Philadelphia or Washington, d C. Who knows, Jared. Hello, 0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:33.839 I'm from Washington, d C. Table kind of outs right 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:37.280 outside northern Virginia. Really, Uh, we have a great episode 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:39.080 coming up for you now, Dean, this is a great 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:42.920 episode for you. I'm an office fan. I've seen the Office. 0:00:42.960 --> 0:00:45.839 I really liked the Office. But you, my friend, I 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:48.520 feel like you love the Office. It's probably the show 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.520 you've rewatched the most. How did you have I told 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:53.760 you that? How did you know that? Because I know you, 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:57.040 I know you my friend, I saw you. I know 0:00:57.080 --> 0:00:59.960 where you sleep. Oh yeah, I guess. I guess I 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:02.600 probably have shared about on my Instagram or something. I'm 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:04.040 sure I've told you in person as well. But I 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:06.399 love the Office to a fault, to the point where 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:10.280 I sleep better whenever the office is playing in the background, 0:01:10.600 --> 0:01:12.840 you know, like some people like to listen to the 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:15.520 Waves crash, some people like to listen to rain falling. 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:17.720 I like to listen to the Office to put me 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:19.760 to sleep. And it's so much that I spent like 0:01:20.040 --> 0:01:22.120 a hundred twenty bucks on the discography so I could 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:24.880 play it anywhere in my van at any given moment. Wow, 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:27.280 and I've I'm in the same way. I like falling 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:30.280 asleep to either Seinfelder to the local news. It's very comforting. Well, 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:34.480 we have Brian baum Gartner on the podcast today. You 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:37.120 know him better as Kevin Malone from the Office. He 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:41.040 hosts an I Heart radio podcast, the Office Deep Dive, 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:44.280 which you can listen to wherever you're listening to this 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:46.840 podcast right now, and he talks to all former show 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:50.720 cast and crew of the Office see what they're up 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:54.520 to doing now. He just releases podcast with John Krasinski. 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:57.640 Uh so, it's pretty awesome. He's gonna be on the 0:01:57.640 --> 0:02:00.720 podcast later, which is super exciting. Before we talk about it, 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:02.560 we do have some hot topics to get to obviously. 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:05.960 The first one is Bachelor related news. Just when you 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:10.120 thought we couldn't talk anything more about the Bachelor, Oh 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:14.359 my god, I just swallowed nice spit down the wrong throat. 0:02:15.000 --> 0:02:16.480 I think that's got to be like an moment, just 0:02:16.600 --> 0:02:18.799 when you think we can't talk more about the Bachelor 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:23.120 to death, Jared chokes to death. Holy crap on air too, 0:02:23.240 --> 0:02:25.560 Sorry about that, guys, who I'm not even eating an 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:28.440 apple now I'm sweating. Oh isn't it the worst where 0:02:28.440 --> 0:02:31.320 you just like it's down the wrong pipe and you 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:34.640 start like getting hot sweats? Do you need a second? 0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:35.840 Do you need a second to collect yourself? Do you 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:38.560 have any water nearby? I do? I have a nice lacroix. 0:02:38.600 --> 0:02:40.800 I'm a big sparkling water guy. I think that says 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:42.480 a lot about my character and who I am as 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:44.959 a man. It's Lemon Shello, my mother in law, Buffy 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:47.320 just for me. Isn't she so sweet? It's okay, dud, 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:50.440 Kaitlin and I love lacroise and bubbles and all those things. 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:52.240 And I also got to make note real quick, I'm 0:02:52.240 --> 0:02:55.839 really proud of you for upgrading your environment this week. 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:58.440 Last week you're in a closet. This week you're sitting 0:02:58.440 --> 0:03:01.320 in a nice office with bubbly right next to year. 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:03.400 You're killing it yet again, I'm in my father in 0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:05.799 law's office. I gotta be honest. I missed the closet, dude. 0:03:05.840 --> 0:03:08.079 I listened to the podcast last week. I listened back 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:10.359 to it to see how my audio sounded. I think 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.880 I sounded better with a voice memo in that closet 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:14.600 than I do on the mic. And I'm not joking 0:03:14.639 --> 0:03:16.840 about that. I think my heart should pay me to 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:19.080 fly to New York every week to record from that 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:22.880 closet because there is something acoustically about those shoes clothing. 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:25.280 Who knows, but I sounded so great, So I don't 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:27.079 know if it's an upgrade. Don't tell my father in 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:29.480 law that it's in a very nice office. I enjoyed anyway. 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:32.160 So the Bachelor, Matt James says that Rachel kirk Conley 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:35.960 gave him a quote ultimatum before dating again. So Matt James, 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:40.240 the Bachelor from this previous season, his final pick Rachel 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:43.320 kirk Conley, they broke up anywayway? Can you just see 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:46.680 I interrupt you real quick? Is it Kirt Conley? Kirk Connell? 0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:50.240 I thought it was kirk Connell. You're right? Is kirk Connell? 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:52.240 Damn it? Okay, I just I didn't want you to 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:54.400 keep saying Kirk Conley if it was Kirk Cornell. I know, 0:03:54.600 --> 0:03:56.600 I don't know. I can't pronounce names, man, I can barely. 0:03:56.880 --> 0:03:59.040 I honestly don't even know how to pronounce my last name. 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:01.880 It's either Haben or a Bon. I've heard it both ways. 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:04.560 I can go if it makes you feel I don't 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:05.840 want to put you on this, but I just wanted 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:07.560 to make sure that where you were doing her the 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:12.800 service that week, correct me, please, I need correction. That's 0:04:12.800 --> 0:04:17.360 why I have a carry on as the Bachelor. His 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:20.800 his final pick Rachel, where the girl he didn't propose to. 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:23.200 She had the photos of the antebellent party come out, 0:04:23.760 --> 0:04:28.159 they broke up. They're back together, so uh. He was 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:32.480 speaking to People Magazine shout out to People that apparently 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:36.640 Rachel gave him an ultimatum. He said that the ultimatum 0:04:36.680 --> 0:04:40.280 was the push he needed to fully commit to their relationship. Quote, 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:42.280 she was like, if you're going to make this work, 0:04:42.400 --> 0:04:44.440 let's do it. But if you're not going to make 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:46.880 it work, I'm going to let you do your own thing. 0:04:47.080 --> 0:04:49.960 He said, That's really all I needed. It was an 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:53.440 ultimatum that I needed. It's been great. It was honestly 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:56.160 a commitment that we made to each other, uh, that 0:04:56.200 --> 0:04:59.240 we were going to work on the relationship. There came 0:04:59.240 --> 0:05:01.080 a point in time were it is evident that my 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:04.360 working on the relationship looked different than Rachel's because I 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:07.520 wasn't really honoring that commitment that I made to working 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:11.279 on the relationship. Didn't you have any thoughts about this? 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:13.880 Do you have any thoughts about ultimatums in general? Do 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:17.159 you think they worked? You think people should do it? Wait, 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:19.920 so Matt was interviewed and they like, are confirmed in 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:22.839 a relationship. Dude, they've been in a relationship like two 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:26.719 weeks after the Final Rose. I remember where was I? I 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:29.359 I was in Remember when I was in? Where the 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:31.880 hell was that Nevada? I don't even remember anymore. We 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:34.200 were in a like a VIVACC conference a couple of 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:36.839 months ago, and they were spotted hanging out together. This 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:39.400 was like two weeks after the Final Rose, So well, 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:43.520 I know. So it's pretty insane because I remember on 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:46.520 the after the Final Rose there was obviously a lot 0:05:46.560 --> 0:05:49.320 of controversy with Rachel and her past pictures at the 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:53.200 antebell And party, which I'm you know, came to light 0:05:53.480 --> 0:05:57.360 and should be talked about, because honestly, I learned a lot. 0:05:57.520 --> 0:05:59.599 I had no idea what the hell and Antebella party 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:06.800 was um so. But at the time and now in hindsight, 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:11.960 I just thought that Matt wasn't I don't know, I 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:14.880 just I thought that I didn't believe what he was 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:17.320 saying in some parts and how to Final Rose, and 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:20.880 now they're together because after Final Rose he pretty much said, hey, listen, 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:23.599 you need to do your own education on what it's 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:26.040 like to being black in this country. And I can't 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:29.320 be a part of that. Because Matt said that when 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:32.320 he's dating someone, he has the intention of marrying that 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:35.440 person and and kids, and he's like, I don't know 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:37.920 how we're going to explain this to our kids one day, 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:40.640 and then two weeks later they're together. So it was like, Okay, 0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:44.960 well that was obviously something you didn't really mean or 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:48.600 you had a quick change of heart. Um And it's 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:52.719 really weird that so he wanted her back, but now 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:55.120 she needed to give him the ultimatum in order to 0:06:55.120 --> 0:06:57.279 commit to a relationship. It just sounds like Matt was 0:06:57.320 --> 0:06:59.840 wishy washy the entire time, and maybe he isn't ready 0:06:59.839 --> 0:07:05.200 for be in a relationship. Yeah, I I mean I don't. 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:07.559 I kind of remember watching that after the final Rose 0:07:07.680 --> 0:07:10.040 and being like it was like uncomfortable the whole time 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:13.120 for everyone, Like you know, they were uncomfortable, the audience 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:16.640 was uncomfortable. I mean obviously digitally there was no audiences 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:18.680 remember him like he was like kind of traumatized. I 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:21.040 feel like, so you had to hear that they were 0:07:21.080 --> 0:07:24.000 together after the final Rose. It's kind of start. It's 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:27.040 like surprising, right, It's kind of like, yeah, like almost 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:30.000 performative in a sense where we're gonna put on the 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:33.160 show and then you know, keep on dating afterwards. I 0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:36.400 would be like kind of disappointed if I was Rachel, 0:07:36.480 --> 0:07:39.880 honestly because and rightfully so, like he kind of put 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:43.760 her on blast, don't get me wrong, but there hasn't 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:47.480 really been any like I don't know storyline afterwards, you know, 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:50.120 like he's like, I'm gonna put you on blast publicly 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:53.160 on this platform because you deserve it what she did. 0:07:53.920 --> 0:07:56.080 But then afterwards, everything's gonna be fine, We'll just carry 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:58.000 on dating like that kind of She's like I feel 0:07:58.040 --> 0:07:59.280 like I had to take the brunt of it there, 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:02.920 don't you think? Yeah, it kind of feels like that 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:06.640 he just didn't know what to do with after the 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:08.680 final rose and just was like, this is what I'm 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:11.440 gonna say about it, and then did a one A 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:13.760 D afterwards. I mean, that's how it appears. I don't 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:16.000 know the personal conversations that him and Rachel have had 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:18.400 since the show or before the after final rose, if 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:20.880 there were any conversations leading up to it, but like, yeah, 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:23.080 I totally agree. I mean, if you're gonna tell someone 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:25.720 that they need to like he doesn't want to be 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:29.800 emotionally responsible for their tears and they need to do 0:08:29.840 --> 0:08:32.840 their own thing, like, then let them do their own 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:36.439 thing and don't get back together with them two weeks later. 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:38.640 Because even if she was the one, even if she 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:40.880 was the one blowing up his phone saying I want 0:08:40.920 --> 0:08:42.200 you back, I want you back, I want your back, 0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:46.040 like he needs to be the one to shut that down. 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:48.520 It's kind of like you know when a friend breaks 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:51.200 up with another friend and and you're like, oh, I 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:53.800 feel bad that that person was broken up with, but 0:08:53.840 --> 0:08:56.160 it's also the responsibility of the person who ended up 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:58.880 who did the breaking up, to like cut off the 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:01.040 relationship because so many times I'm sure you have in 0:09:01.080 --> 0:09:03.520 your friend group as well. We're like the person that 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:06.920 broke up with someone keeps hanging out them because they're like, oh, well, 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:09.720 I feel bad, and you know, I I don't want 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:11.640 to hurt them anymore. And it's like, no, you're hurting 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:15.600 them way more by continuingly to let them back into 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:18.360 your life and giving them hope. Then you would be 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:21.520 if you just cut it off. Yeah. I mean at 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:23.760 the end of the day, like they Matt chose Rachel, 0:09:23.920 --> 0:09:25.839 and Rachel chose Matt for a reason, Like there's got 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:28.760 to be a lot of unspoken chemistry that we haven't 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:30.800 seen yet, and I think we do have maybe have 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:32.920 to give them some credit, like like as you said, 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:34.560 you know, Matt was like, I don't want to be 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:38.840 responsible for giving someone a black history lesson or uh, 0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:40.640 you know, it's not my responsibility to that type of thing. 0:09:40.679 --> 0:09:41.760 And she was like, well, I'm gonna put in the 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:43.240 work and figure it all out. And I mean, to 0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:45.880 her credit, it's maybe she did do the work and 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:48.079 she educated herself and figured it out to the point 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:50.360 where Matt was comfortable with it. Uh, And I was 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:51.720 able to kind of be like, Okay, you know what, 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:55.560 I appreciate you putting that effort in. I agree, it 0:09:55.559 --> 0:09:58.880 just seems quick, which I obviously, I am not a 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:01.240 black man in this country, so I have no say 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:04.600 in saying like what is adequate, what is not adequate, 0:10:04.720 --> 0:10:08.280 what is accepted as apology, what's not. But you know, 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:11.200 obviously it's just a very sensitive time right now, and 0:10:11.280 --> 0:10:15.520 it's weird, and I it's it's unfortunate, you know that 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:17.360 they had to go through this, and I feel bad. 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:18.920 I really feel bad for Matt. I was saying that 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:21.400 for a while, like this guy was under so much 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:24.560 immense pressure being the first black bachelor, and then you know, 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:26.480 even that sit down he had with Chris Harrison in 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:29.720 episode one where he pretty much said, like, am I 0:10:29.840 --> 0:10:32.160 gonna get scolded if I don't end up with a 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:34.080 black person? You know, if I end up painting a 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:39.760 white woman? And then you know, obviously the Rachel Kirk 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:43.120 Connell photos come out, and there's just a lot for 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:44.760 There was a lot of pressure on the Matt and 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:46.840 I really do feel bad for him, and I feel 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:51.640 bad for Rachel as well because in the relationship, back 0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:54.120 to the original question of have what are what's my 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:56.079 opinion of an ultimatum. I am not a fan of 0:10:56.080 --> 0:11:00.000 the ultimatum generally speaking. I've been given an ultimatum before. 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.000 I remember once when I was in my early twenties, 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:05.200 I was like, you know, this girl and I were 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:06.959 going on dates whatever. We were going on dates for 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:08.920 a few weeks, and this is my f boy days, 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:11.920 mind you, so take everything I say with that in mind. 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:14.280 We were like dating for like a month or two, 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:17.680 and she eventually was like, if we you're you have 0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:19.000 a choice, like we want to have to know. She's like, 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.720 you have the choice either be my boyfriend or we 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:23.480 never talked to each other again. That was like cir 0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:25.600 ultimatum because I was like still partying with my friends, 0:11:26.040 --> 0:11:29.000 like probably still hooking up with the girls. Um, And 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:31.280 she was like, you either keep doing that or we 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:32.920 decided to be in a relationship. And I was like, well, 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:36.160 I really like you. I guess let's be in a relationship. 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:40.160 And then obviously, sure enough that relationship went south eventually, 0:11:40.280 --> 0:11:42.640 like a year later. Um. But it was just kind 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:44.560 of a bad way to start the relationship where it's like, 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:45.960 you know, you kind of have to let it happen 0:11:46.000 --> 0:11:47.839 a little more naturally and granted, like, if I was 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:49.480 hurt in her position, I would have done the exact 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:52.360 same thing. I was just about to say that, Like, honestly, 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:54.439 if she didn't give you the ultimatum, don't you think 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:59.240 the relationship would have win south anyway? Yes, because I 0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:01.120 never I never would have brought the ultimatum. I've never 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:03.000 would have been like, hey, look, let's be boyfriend girlfriend. 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:04.560 Not because I didn't like the girl, but just because 0:12:04.559 --> 0:12:05.760 I you know, I didn't want to be in a 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:07.840 relationship at the time, but I also didn't want to 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:10.760 lose the comfort of that person that I had grown 0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:12.959 fond with over the past month or two. I don't 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:14.640 know if that's kind of why ultimatums in a way 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:16.920 are necessary, because it's like, well, if you like that person, 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:20.560 sometimes you need them to like put to push you 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.680 over the ledge a little bit, you know. Yeah, yeah, 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:26.920 I'm a fan of ultimatums. I think that, you know, 0:12:27.120 --> 0:12:30.000 depending on the situation. Like that girl, dude, you were 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:32.120 you were hanging out with other girls, she wanted to 0:12:32.160 --> 0:12:34.280 be in a relationship with you. I give her credit. 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:36.600 She was like, hey, Dean, you either want to date 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:38.800 me or you want to sleep around and if you 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:41.320 want to sleep around, cool, but I'm not gonna be 0:12:41.320 --> 0:12:45.280 one of those girls. And I respect that, and honestly 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:48.319 it's not It's kind of similar to what Ashley do 0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:51.160 with me, but instead of giving me an ultimatum, she 0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:53.599 just started dating someone else. So I have brought the 0:12:53.679 --> 0:12:55.880 decision upon myself to be like, Okay, I either go 0:12:56.000 --> 0:12:57.719 for this or I don't go for this. It's really 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:01.959 I gotta go in one camp or the other. Um. Yeah, 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:03.880 I'm a fan of ultimatums. I think we should do it. 0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:07.000 Have you depending like tonight one like after one day, 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:09.320 if you're like, hey, you're either with me or not? Like, yeah, 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:15.640 lo CUCKU don't do that. Have you ever given an ultimatum? Um? 0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:18.640 But uh nah, I don't think so. I never had 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:21.040 the balls to be like, yo, you date me or 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:22.520 you don't date me, because I was probably more in 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:24.840 your situation where I was like wishing, washing and flaking, 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:26.199 like I don't know, do we want to be in 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:28.239 a relationship? Do we not want to be in a relationship? 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:30.880 You know, I don't think I was ever given besides 0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:34.959 actually like a true ultimatum, I guess I kind of 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:37.520 give Caitlin an ultimatum, right. I was like, you either 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:41.960 leave the speech with me or you stay that dude, 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:43.719 there's no choice in that. You kidding me? Do you 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:45.959 remember what you look like walking down those stairs? And 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:51.280 I was like, damn is paradise to day? That probably 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:53.520 is the only ultimatum I've ever given. And I remember 0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:55.520 people were like, oh, doing such a dick for giving 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:57.920 ultimatum to this girl. And I was like, dang, you're 0:13:57.960 --> 0:13:59.480 kind of right. I am kind of a dick. Not 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:01.599 like dude worked out. Look, look what happens to you 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:05.000 give ultimatums. It usually works out, So I'm I believe it. 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:07.280 I'm depending on the situation. Don't be a jerk about it. 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:09.959 But well, and and let's talk about your your You 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:11.839 kind of gave an ultimatum. I know you said you haven't, 0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:14.640 but in a way you did, right, Like you're even 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:17.040 pretty open about the time you kissed actually at the airport, right, 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:20.920 that was essentially you giving her an ultimatum. See that 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:24.280 was um. See it wasn't an ultimatum for me because 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:27.720 like me kissing her at the airport was more like, hey, 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:33.840 I'm still here, I'm not going anywhere. I think the ultimatum. 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:37.360 The ultimatum Fruit was on me beforehand to be like, 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:40.400 I'm either going all in on this, hence I'm going 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:42.560 to kiss her and be like, hey, I think it 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:46.280 should be you and I or I leave the situation. 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:49.560 Let Ashley and and what's his name, you know, have 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:52.480 a good life. I guess my point is your kiss 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:55.920 was essentially you telling her like, hey, keep dating that guy, 0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:58.760 or come get some more of this action. Come get 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:02.560 some of this action, aby, and like you lay similar 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:05.080 to my mine Killin's ultimatum, yours ended up working out 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:09.240 for the best marriage and on the way to get 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:11.280 on my kids on the way at some point. Dude, 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:15.400 I don't know if I just have like I'm I'm 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:18.800 glamouring myself my past, but like I feel like I 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:22.120 used to be way more sexy than I am now, 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:25.760 Like the idea of me trying to lure Ashley and 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:30.040 like woo her. Oh god, I don't even know where 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:34.080 to start. Yeah, No, I feel the same way. I 0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:35.880 think it's because I've also put on like ten pounds, 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:38.560 so I just feel disgusting. Well, you look great, That's 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:40.520 all that matters, dude. When you shave your mustache, it's 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:42.360 like you're a plus Dean again, that's all you gotta do. 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:44.360 What about this is my stat This is a good length, right, 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:46.520 it's a good length. I like it. I just like 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:48.320 your face, clean, shave, whatever. We don't have to talk 0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:49.920 about your face all day and night. Anyway. We've got 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:52.280 a great guest. He's coming up right now from the 0:15:52.400 --> 0:15:56.120 office Brian bomb Gartner. Uh. He is the brand not 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:58.840 brand new, but he's the host of the Office Deep 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:00.920 Dive and he's going to be coming up right after 0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:12.720 this break. All right, welcome back to help I suck 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:15.040 at dating. Jared here with Dean of course, and we 0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:17.360 have a very special guest. You know him as Kevin 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:19.480 Malone from the Office. He has an I Heart radio 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:22.880 podcast called The Office Deep Dive, where you can listen 0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:25.840 to wherever you're listening to this podcast right now currently. 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:30.080 Brian bum Gartner. Brian, how are you, Jared? How are you? 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:32.600 I'm doing well. Thank you so much for coming on. 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:35.400 You are probably the biggest celebrity guest we've ever had 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:39.240 on this podcast. And that's not hyperbole. You know. Many 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:44.680 people have said that, and they're all I'd be lying 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:46.600 if I was saying I'm not fan going a little 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:48.680 bit right now, so pardon my stuttering part of the 0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:50.840 butterflies and I know you can't feel them, and I Jared, 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:52.480 I just wanted to correct you real quick, not only 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:55.520 from the Office, but also from hand of God and 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:59.920 good behavior, many others and the podcast. Let's talk about 0:16:59.920 --> 0:17:02.640 your podcast real quick, Brian. So you have an oral 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:05.639 history of the Office, which came out last year, and 0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:08.760 now you are doing new episodes of The Office Deep Dive. Right, 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:11.119 that's right, So tell us about The Office Deep Dive 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:16.879 a little bit. You know. Basically, we the whole journey 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:22.960 started with wanting to wanting to figure out why why 0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:26.359 The Office has is what it is now, Like in 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:29.040 other words, we were a big hit when we were 0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:32.280 on NBC, like we were we struggled coming out of 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:34.640 the gate, and then for a large time of the 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:37.800 nine seasons we were on, we were the biggest scripted 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:42.000 show on NBC. But now the show has gone crazy, 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:45.840 like it's way bigger now and we haven't filmed anything 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:49.920 in seven eight years, And so it really was about 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:53.879 wanting to know why, like what happened, like what decisions 0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:58.639 were made early on that made the show. Um, you know, 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:03.760 live off now and and why is it cultivating this 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:07.000 younger fan base, this increased fan base. I mean, by 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:10.879 any metric you can you know, find it's the most 0:18:11.000 --> 0:18:15.880 watch show in television now and I'm talking about new shows, 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:19.600 you know, hit shows, hot shows that come out. More 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:22.800 people are watching the Office than anything else. And so 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:25.879 it's enough time had passed, and I went back to 0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:28.680 a lot of my old friends and actors, yes, Steve 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:31.800 Carrell and Jenni Fisher and Rain Wilson, but also producers 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:35.720 and directors and writers and and crew people and really 0:18:35.760 --> 0:18:39.920 just wanting to to explore that question, like what happened exactly? 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:43.520 Like why is this now become you know, part of 0:18:43.560 --> 0:18:50.959 the cultural zeitgeist? And everybody was super like not just willing, 0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:53.680 but like engaged about talking about it. I mean I 0:18:54.320 --> 0:18:58.200 referenced before I talked to Steve Carrell for about three 0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:00.520 hours about the show and then and you know it 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:02.560 was like, oh, I'll walk you to your car, and 0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:04.600 then I stood by his car, like leaning against his 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:06.760 car for like twenty five minutes and were like still 0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:11.919 talking about it, and uh, I found a lot of 0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:14.280 the answers interesting. It was a ton of fun and 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:17.960 so we had over a hundred hours of recorded material. 0:19:18.520 --> 0:19:20.879 And that's the office deep dive. Now it's me sitting 0:19:20.880 --> 0:19:23.280 down with my old friends having a conversation and talking 0:19:23.280 --> 0:19:25.800 about the show and how it got put together and 0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:29.800 why people think now this show is bigger than ever. Yeah. Well, 0:19:29.800 --> 0:19:31.720 it's funny to hear you talk about that too, because 0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:35.320 that that phenomenon that you were just describing is exactly me. 0:19:35.480 --> 0:19:37.360 So when the show was airing in the late two thousands, 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:39.200 I was in high school. I graduated o'nine. Not to 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:42.879