Speaker 1: Hell I Suck a Dating with Dengler Dared Haven I
Speaker 1: heart radio podcast. What's going on, Sucky Daters? Welcome to
Speaker 1: an all new episode of Help I Suck at Dating?
Speaker 1: Reporting live from Las Vegas, Nevada. Is me Dean Angler,
Speaker 1: and reporting live from somewhere on the East Coast. I
Speaker 1: always forget where he is. He's either in Rhode Island
Speaker 1: or Boston, or Philadelphia or Washington, d C. Who knows, Jared. Hello,
Speaker 1: I'm from Washington, d C. Table kind of outs right
Speaker 1: outside northern Virginia. Really, Uh, we have a great episode
Speaker 1: coming up for you now, Dean, this is a great
Speaker 1: episode for you. I'm an office fan. I've seen the Office.
Speaker 1: I really liked the Office. But you, my friend, I
Speaker 1: feel like you love the Office. It's probably the show
Speaker 1: you've rewatched the most. How did you have I told
Speaker 1: you that? How did you know that? Because I know you,
Speaker 1: I know you my friend, I saw you. I know
Speaker 1: where you sleep. Oh yeah, I guess. I guess I
Speaker 1: probably have shared about on my Instagram or something. I'm
Speaker 1: sure I've told you in person as well. But I
Speaker 1: love the Office to a fault, to the point where
Speaker 1: I sleep better whenever the office is playing in the background,
Speaker 1: you know, like some people like to listen to the
Speaker 1: Waves crash, some people like to listen to rain falling.
Speaker 1: I like to listen to the Office to put me
Speaker 1: to sleep. And it's so much that I spent like
Speaker 1: a hundred twenty bucks on the discography so I could
Speaker 1: play it anywhere in my van at any given moment. Wow,
Speaker 1: and I've I'm in the same way. I like falling
Speaker 1: asleep to either Seinfelder to the local news. It's very comforting. Well,
Speaker 1: we have Brian baum Gartner on the podcast today. You
Speaker 1: know him better as Kevin Malone from the Office. He
Speaker 1: hosts an I Heart radio podcast, the Office Deep Dive,
Speaker 1: which you can listen to wherever you're listening to this
Speaker 1: podcast right now, and he talks to all former show
Speaker 1: cast and crew of the Office see what they're up
Speaker 1: to doing now. He just releases podcast with John Krasinski.
Speaker 1: Uh so, it's pretty awesome. He's gonna be on the
Speaker 1: podcast later, which is super exciting. Before we talk about it,
Speaker 1: we do have some hot topics to get to obviously.
Speaker 1: The first one is Bachelor related news. Just when you
Speaker 1: thought we couldn't talk anything more about the Bachelor, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I just swallowed nice spit down the wrong throat.
Speaker 1: I think that's got to be like an moment, just
Speaker 1: when you think we can't talk more about the Bachelor
Speaker 1: to death, Jared chokes to death. Holy crap on air too,
Speaker 1: Sorry about that, guys, who I'm not even eating an
Speaker 1: apple now I'm sweating. Oh isn't it the worst where
Speaker 1: you just like it's down the wrong pipe and you
Speaker 1: start like getting hot sweats? Do you need a second?
Speaker 1: Do you need a second to collect yourself? Do you
Speaker 1: have any water nearby? I do? I have a nice lacroix.
Speaker 1: I'm a big sparkling water guy. I think that says
Speaker 1: a lot about my character and who I am as
Speaker 1: a man. It's Lemon Shello, my mother in law, Buffy
Speaker 1: just for me. Isn't she so sweet? It's okay, dud,
Speaker 1: Kaitlin and I love lacroise and bubbles and all those things.
Speaker 1: And I also got to make note real quick, I'm
Speaker 1: really proud of you for upgrading your environment this week.
Speaker 1: Last week you're in a closet. This week you're sitting
Speaker 1: in a nice office with bubbly right next to year.
Speaker 1: You're killing it yet again, I'm in my father in
Speaker 1: law's office. I gotta be honest. I missed the closet, dude.
Speaker 1: I listened to the podcast last week. I listened back
Speaker 1: to it to see how my audio sounded. I think
Speaker 1: I sounded better with a voice memo in that closet
Speaker 1: than I do on the mic. And I'm not joking
Speaker 1: about that. I think my heart should pay me to
Speaker 1: fly to New York every week to record from that
Speaker 1: closet because there is something acoustically about those shoes clothing.
Speaker 1: Who knows, but I sounded so great, So I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's an upgrade. Don't tell my father in
Speaker 1: law that it's in a very nice office. I enjoyed anyway.
Speaker 1: So the Bachelor, Matt James says that Rachel kirk Conley
Speaker 1: gave him a quote ultimatum before dating again. So Matt James,
Speaker 1: the Bachelor from this previous season, his final pick Rachel
Speaker 1: kirk Conley, they broke up anywayway? Can you just see
Speaker 1: I interrupt you real quick? Is it Kirt Conley? Kirk Connell?
Speaker 1: I thought it was kirk Connell. You're right? Is kirk Connell?
Speaker 1: Damn it? Okay, I just I didn't want you to
Speaker 1: keep saying Kirk Conley if it was Kirk Cornell. I know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't pronounce names, man, I can barely.
Speaker 1: I honestly don't even know how to pronounce my last name.
Speaker 1: It's either Haben or a Bon. I've heard it both ways.
Speaker 1: I can go if it makes you feel I don't
Speaker 1: want to put you on this, but I just wanted
Speaker 1: to make sure that where you were doing her the
Speaker 1: service that week, correct me, please, I need correction. That's
Speaker 1: why I have a carry on as the Bachelor. His
Speaker 1: his final pick Rachel, where the girl he didn't propose to.
Speaker 1: She had the photos of the antebellent party come out,
Speaker 1: they broke up. They're back together, so uh. He was
Speaker 1: speaking to People Magazine shout out to People that apparently
Speaker 1: Rachel gave him an ultimatum. He said that the ultimatum
Speaker 1: was the push he needed to fully commit to their relationship. Quote,
Speaker 1: she was like, if you're going to make this work,
Speaker 1: let's do it. But if you're not going to make
Speaker 1: it work, I'm going to let you do your own thing.
Speaker 1: He said, That's really all I needed. It was an
Speaker 1: ultimatum that I needed. It's been great. It was honestly
Speaker 1: a commitment that we made to each other, uh, that
Speaker 1: we were going to work on the relationship. There came
Speaker 1: a point in time were it is evident that my
Speaker 1: working on the relationship looked different than Rachel's because I
Speaker 1: wasn't really honoring that commitment that I made to working
Speaker 1: on the relationship. Didn't you have any thoughts about this?
Speaker 1: Do you have any thoughts about ultimatums in general? Do
Speaker 1: you think they worked? You think people should do it? Wait,
Speaker 1: so Matt was interviewed and they like, are confirmed in
Speaker 1: a relationship. Dude, they've been in a relationship like two
Speaker 1: weeks after the Final Rose. I remember where was I? I
Speaker 1: I was in Remember when I was in? Where the
Speaker 1: hell was that Nevada? I don't even remember anymore. We
Speaker 1: were in a like a VIVACC conference a couple of
Speaker 1: months ago, and they were spotted hanging out together. This
Speaker 1: was like two weeks after the Final Rose, So well,
Speaker 1: I know. So it's pretty insane because I remember on
Speaker 1: the after the Final Rose there was obviously a lot
Speaker 1: of controversy with Rachel and her past pictures at the
Speaker 1: antebell And party, which I'm you know, came to light
Speaker 1: and should be talked about, because honestly, I learned a lot.
Speaker 1: I had no idea what the hell and Antebella party
Speaker 1: was um so. But at the time and now in hindsight,
Speaker 1: I just thought that Matt wasn't I don't know, I
Speaker 1: just I thought that I didn't believe what he was
Speaker 1: saying in some parts and how to Final Rose, and
Speaker 1: now they're together because after Final Rose he pretty much said, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: you need to do your own education on what it's
Speaker 1: like to being black in this country. And I can't
Speaker 1: be a part of that. Because Matt said that when
Speaker 1: he's dating someone, he has the intention of marrying that
Speaker 1: person and and kids, and he's like, I don't know
Speaker 1: how we're going to explain this to our kids one day,
Speaker 1: and then two weeks later they're together. So it was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well that was obviously something you didn't really mean or
Speaker 1: you had a quick change of heart. Um And it's
Speaker 1: really weird that so he wanted her back, but now
Speaker 1: she needed to give him the ultimatum in order to
Speaker 1: commit to a relationship. It just sounds like Matt was
Speaker 1: wishy washy the entire time, and maybe he isn't ready
Speaker 1: for be in a relationship. Yeah, I I mean I don't.
Speaker 1: I kind of remember watching that after the final Rose
Speaker 1: and being like it was like uncomfortable the whole time
Speaker 1: for everyone, Like you know, they were uncomfortable, the audience
Speaker 1: was uncomfortable. I mean obviously digitally there was no audiences
Speaker 1: remember him like he was like kind of traumatized. I
Speaker 1: feel like, so you had to hear that they were
Speaker 1: together after the final Rose. It's kind of start. It's
Speaker 1: like surprising, right, It's kind of like, yeah, like almost
Speaker 1: performative in a sense where we're gonna put on the
Speaker 1: show and then you know, keep on dating afterwards. I
Speaker 1: would be like kind of disappointed if I was Rachel,
Speaker 1: honestly because and rightfully so, like he kind of put
Speaker 1: her on blast, don't get me wrong, but there hasn't
Speaker 1: really been any like I don't know storyline afterwards, you know,
Speaker 1: like he's like, I'm gonna put you on blast publicly
Speaker 1: on this platform because you deserve it what she did.
Speaker 1: But then afterwards, everything's gonna be fine, We'll just carry
Speaker 1: on dating like that kind of She's like I feel
Speaker 1: like I had to take the brunt of it there,
Speaker 1: don't you think? Yeah, it kind of feels like that
Speaker 1: he just didn't know what to do with after the
Speaker 1: final rose and just was like, this is what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say about it, and then did a one A
Speaker 1: D afterwards. I mean, that's how it appears. I don't
Speaker 1: know the personal conversations that him and Rachel have had
Speaker 1: since the show or before the after final rose, if
Speaker 1: there were any conversations leading up to it, but like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I totally agree. I mean, if you're gonna tell someone
Speaker 1: that they need to like he doesn't want to be
Speaker 1: emotionally responsible for their tears and they need to do
Speaker 1: their own thing, like, then let them do their own
Speaker 1: thing and don't get back together with them two weeks later.
Speaker 1: Because even if she was the one, even if she
Speaker 1: was the one blowing up his phone saying I want
Speaker 1: you back, I want you back, I want your back,
Speaker 1: like he needs to be the one to shut that down.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like you know when a friend breaks
Speaker 1: up with another friend and and you're like, oh, I
Speaker 1: feel bad that that person was broken up with, but
Speaker 1: it's also the responsibility of the person who ended up
Speaker 1: who did the breaking up, to like cut off the
Speaker 1: relationship because so many times I'm sure you have in
Speaker 1: your friend group as well. We're like the person that
Speaker 1: broke up with someone keeps hanging out them because they're like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: I feel bad, and you know, I I don't want
Speaker 1: to hurt them anymore. And it's like, no, you're hurting
Speaker 1: them way more by continuingly to let them back into
Speaker 1: your life and giving them hope. Then you would be
Speaker 1: if you just cut it off. Yeah. I mean at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, like they Matt chose Rachel,
Speaker 1: and Rachel chose Matt for a reason, Like there's got
Speaker 1: to be a lot of unspoken chemistry that we haven't
Speaker 1: seen yet, and I think we do have maybe have
Speaker 1: to give them some credit, like like as you said,
Speaker 1: you know, Matt was like, I don't want to be
Speaker 1: responsible for giving someone a black history lesson or uh,
Speaker 1: you know, it's not my responsibility to that type of thing.
Speaker 1: And she was like, well, I'm gonna put in the
Speaker 1: work and figure it all out. And I mean, to
Speaker 1: her credit, it's maybe she did do the work and
Speaker 1: she educated herself and figured it out to the point
Speaker 1: where Matt was comfortable with it. Uh, And I was
Speaker 1: able to kind of be like, Okay, you know what,
Speaker 1: I appreciate you putting that effort in. I agree, it
Speaker 1: just seems quick, which I obviously, I am not a
Speaker 1: black man in this country, so I have no say
Speaker 1: in saying like what is adequate, what is not adequate,
Speaker 1: what is accepted as apology, what's not. But you know,
Speaker 1: obviously it's just a very sensitive time right now, and
Speaker 1: it's weird, and I it's it's unfortunate, you know that
Speaker 1: they had to go through this, and I feel bad.
Speaker 1: I really feel bad for Matt. I was saying that
Speaker 1: for a while, like this guy was under so much
Speaker 1: immense pressure being the first black bachelor, and then you know,
Speaker 1: even that sit down he had with Chris Harrison in
Speaker 1: episode one where he pretty much said, like, am I
Speaker 1: gonna get scolded if I don't end up with a
Speaker 1: black person? You know, if I end up painting a
Speaker 1: white woman? And then you know, obviously the Rachel Kirk
Speaker 1: Connell photos come out, and there's just a lot for
Speaker 1: There was a lot of pressure on the Matt and
Speaker 1: I really do feel bad for him, and I feel
Speaker 1: bad for Rachel as well because in the relationship, back
Speaker 1: to the original question of have what are what's my
Speaker 1: opinion of an ultimatum. I am not a fan of
Speaker 1: the ultimatum generally speaking. I've been given an ultimatum before.
Speaker 1: I remember once when I was in my early twenties,
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, this girl and I were
Speaker 1: going on dates whatever. We were going on dates for
Speaker 1: a few weeks, and this is my f boy days,
Speaker 1: mind you, so take everything I say with that in mind.
Speaker 1: We were like dating for like a month or two,
Speaker 1: and she eventually was like, if we you're you have
Speaker 1: a choice, like we want to have to know. She's like,
Speaker 1: you have the choice either be my boyfriend or we
Speaker 1: never talked to each other again. That was like cir
Speaker 1: ultimatum because I was like still partying with my friends,
Speaker 1: like probably still hooking up with the girls. Um, And
Speaker 1: she was like, you either keep doing that or we
Speaker 1: decided to be in a relationship. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I really like you. I guess let's be in a relationship.
Speaker 1: And then obviously, sure enough that relationship went south eventually,
Speaker 1: like a year later. Um. But it was just kind
Speaker 1: of a bad way to start the relationship where it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, you kind of have to let it happen
Speaker 1: a little more naturally and granted, like, if I was
Speaker 1: hurt in her position, I would have done the exact
Speaker 1: same thing. I was just about to say that, Like, honestly,
Speaker 1: if she didn't give you the ultimatum, don't you think
Speaker 1: the relationship would have win south anyway? Yes, because I
Speaker 1: never I never would have brought the ultimatum. I've never
Speaker 1: would have been like, hey, look, let's be boyfriend girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Not because I didn't like the girl, but just because
Speaker 1: I you know, I didn't want to be in a
Speaker 1: relationship at the time, but I also didn't want to
Speaker 1: lose the comfort of that person that I had grown
Speaker 1: fond with over the past month or two. I don't
Speaker 1: know if that's kind of why ultimatums in a way
Speaker 1: are necessary, because it's like, well, if you like that person,
Speaker 1: sometimes you need them to like put to push you
Speaker 1: over the ledge a little bit, you know. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm a fan of ultimatums. I think that, you know,
Speaker 1: depending on the situation. Like that girl, dude, you were
Speaker 1: you were hanging out with other girls, she wanted to
Speaker 1: be in a relationship with you. I give her credit.
Speaker 1: She was like, hey, Dean, you either want to date
Speaker 1: me or you want to sleep around and if you
Speaker 1: want to sleep around, cool, but I'm not gonna be
Speaker 1: one of those girls. And I respect that, and honestly
Speaker 1: it's not It's kind of similar to what Ashley do
Speaker 1: with me, but instead of giving me an ultimatum, she
Speaker 1: just started dating someone else. So I have brought the
Speaker 1: decision upon myself to be like, Okay, I either go
Speaker 1: for this or I don't go for this. It's really
Speaker 1: I gotta go in one camp or the other. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm a fan of ultimatums. I think we should do it.
Speaker 1: Have you depending like tonight one like after one day,
Speaker 1: if you're like, hey, you're either with me or not? Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: lo CUCKU don't do that. Have you ever given an ultimatum? Um?
Speaker 1: But uh nah, I don't think so. I never had
Speaker 1: the balls to be like, yo, you date me or
Speaker 1: you don't date me, because I was probably more in
Speaker 1: your situation where I was like wishing, washing and flaking,
Speaker 1: like I don't know, do we want to be in
Speaker 1: a relationship? Do we not want to be in a relationship?
Speaker 1: You know, I don't think I was ever given besides
Speaker 1: actually like a true ultimatum, I guess I kind of
Speaker 1: give Caitlin an ultimatum, right. I was like, you either
Speaker 1: leave the speech with me or you stay that dude,
Speaker 1: there's no choice in that. You kidding me? Do you
Speaker 1: remember what you look like walking down those stairs? And
Speaker 1: I was like, damn is paradise to day? That probably
Speaker 1: is the only ultimatum I've ever given. And I remember
Speaker 1: people were like, oh, doing such a dick for giving
Speaker 1: ultimatum to this girl. And I was like, dang, you're
Speaker 1: kind of right. I am kind of a dick. Not
Speaker 1: like dude worked out. Look, look what happens to you
Speaker 1: give ultimatums. It usually works out, So I'm I believe it.
Speaker 1: I'm depending on the situation. Don't be a jerk about it.
Speaker 1: But well, and and let's talk about your your You
Speaker 1: kind of gave an ultimatum. I know you said you haven't,
Speaker 1: but in a way you did, right, Like you're even
Speaker 1: pretty open about the time you kissed actually at the airport, right,
Speaker 1: that was essentially you giving her an ultimatum. See that
Speaker 1: was um. See it wasn't an ultimatum for me because
Speaker 1: like me kissing her at the airport was more like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm still here, I'm not going anywhere. I think the ultimatum.
Speaker 1: The ultimatum Fruit was on me beforehand to be like,
Speaker 1: I'm either going all in on this, hence I'm going
Speaker 1: to kiss her and be like, hey, I think it
Speaker 1: should be you and I or I leave the situation.
Speaker 1: Let Ashley and and what's his name, you know, have
Speaker 1: a good life. I guess my point is your kiss
Speaker 1: was essentially you telling her like, hey, keep dating that guy,
Speaker 1: or come get some more of this action. Come get
Speaker 1: some of this action, aby, and like you lay similar
Speaker 1: to my mine Killin's ultimatum, yours ended up working out
Speaker 1: for the best marriage and on the way to get
Speaker 1: on my kids on the way at some point. Dude,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I just have like I'm I'm
Speaker 1: glamouring myself my past, but like I feel like I
Speaker 1: used to be way more sexy than I am now,
Speaker 1: Like the idea of me trying to lure Ashley and
Speaker 1: like woo her. Oh god, I don't even know where
Speaker 1: to start. Yeah, No, I feel the same way. I
Speaker 1: think it's because I've also put on like ten pounds,
Speaker 1: so I just feel disgusting. Well, you look great, That's
Speaker 1: all that matters, dude. When you shave your mustache, it's
Speaker 1: like you're a plus Dean again, that's all you gotta do.
Speaker 1: What about this is my stat This is a good length, right,
Speaker 1: it's a good length. I like it. I just like
Speaker 1: your face, clean, shave, whatever. We don't have to talk
Speaker 1: about your face all day and night. Anyway. We've got
Speaker 1: a great guest. He's coming up right now from the
Speaker 1: office Brian bomb Gartner. Uh. He is the brand not
Speaker 1: brand new, but he's the host of the Office Deep
Speaker 1: Dive and he's going to be coming up right after
Speaker 1: this break. All right, welcome back to help I suck
Speaker 1: at dating. Jared here with Dean of course, and we
Speaker 1: have a very special guest. You know him as Kevin
Speaker 1: Malone from the Office. He has an I Heart radio
Speaker 1: podcast called The Office Deep Dive, where you can listen
Speaker 1: to wherever you're listening to this podcast right now currently.
Speaker 1: Brian bum Gartner. Brian, how are you, Jared? How are you?
Speaker 1: I'm doing well. Thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 1: You are probably the biggest celebrity guest we've ever had
Speaker 1: on this podcast. And that's not hyperbole. You know. Many
Speaker 1: people have said that, and they're all I'd be lying
Speaker 1: if I was saying I'm not fan going a little
Speaker 1: bit right now, so pardon my stuttering part of the
Speaker 1: butterflies and I know you can't feel them, and I Jared,
Speaker 1: I just wanted to correct you real quick, not only
Speaker 1: from the Office, but also from hand of God and
Speaker 1: good behavior, many others and the podcast. Let's talk about
Speaker 1: your podcast real quick, Brian. So you have an oral
Speaker 1: history of the Office, which came out last year, and
Speaker 1: now you are doing new episodes of The Office Deep Dive. Right,
Speaker 1: that's right, So tell us about The Office Deep Dive
Speaker 1: a little bit. You know. Basically, we the whole journey
Speaker 1: started with wanting to wanting to figure out why why
Speaker 1: The Office has is what it is now, Like in
Speaker 1: other words, we were a big hit when we were
Speaker 1: on NBC, like we were we struggled coming out of
Speaker 1: the gate, and then for a large time of the
Speaker 1: nine seasons we were on, we were the biggest scripted
Speaker 1: show on NBC. But now the show has gone crazy,
Speaker 1: like it's way bigger now and we haven't filmed anything
Speaker 1: in seven eight years, And so it really was about
Speaker 1: wanting to know why, like what happened, like what decisions
Speaker 1: were made early on that made the show. Um, you know,
Speaker 1: live off now and and why is it cultivating this
Speaker 1: younger fan base, this increased fan base. I mean, by
Speaker 1: any metric you can you know, find it's the most
Speaker 1: watch show in television now and I'm talking about new shows,
Speaker 1: you know, hit shows, hot shows that come out. More
Speaker 1: people are watching the Office than anything else. And so
Speaker 1: it's enough time had passed, and I went back to
Speaker 1: a lot of my old friends and actors, yes, Steve
Speaker 1: Carrell and Jenni Fisher and Rain Wilson, but also producers
Speaker 1: and directors and writers and and crew people and really
Speaker 1: just wanting to to explore that question, like what happened exactly?
Speaker 1: Like why is this now become you know, part of
Speaker 1: the cultural zeitgeist? And everybody was super like not just willing,
Speaker 1: but like engaged about talking about it. I mean I
Speaker 1: referenced before I talked to Steve Carrell for about three
Speaker 1: hours about the show and then and you know it
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'll walk you to your car, and
Speaker 1: then I stood by his car, like leaning against his
Speaker 1: car for like twenty five minutes and were like still
Speaker 1: talking about it, and uh, I found a lot of
Speaker 1: the answers interesting. It was a ton of fun and
Speaker 1: so we had over a hundred hours of recorded material.
Speaker 1: And that's the office deep dive. Now it's me sitting
Speaker 1: down with my old friends having a conversation and talking
Speaker 1: about the show and how it got put together and
Speaker 1: why people think now this show is bigger than ever. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: it's funny to hear you talk about that too, because
Speaker 1: that that phenomenon that you were just describing is exactly me.
Speaker 1: So when the show was airing in the late two thousands,
Speaker 1: I was in high school. I graduated o'nine. Not to
Speaker 1: date myself or anything like that, but my my, my
Speaker 1: best friend was obsessed at the office, and he'd always
Speaker 1: tried to get me to watch it with and I'm like,
Speaker 1: now that just sucks. I'm not into it. And then
Speaker 1: I graduated to high school, went to college, and like
Speaker 1: my sophomore, junior college, all the seasons were over, and
Speaker 1: then it became on demand, like it went on Netflix
Speaker 1: or something like that, and I like plowed through it
Speaker 1: and I was like, WHOA, this show is so good.
Speaker 1: Why didn't I say I never watching this the first
Speaker 1: time around? And now Jared and I talked about it
Speaker 1: on top of the podcast. I'm sure you get this
Speaker 1: all the time too. It's like it's what I fall
Speaker 1: asleep to every single night. Like I like kind of
Speaker 1: gauge people like if I don't think I can make
Speaker 1: a new friend if they're not a fan of the
Speaker 1: Office kind of thing, you know. Like I use it
Speaker 1: as like a ranking method that I have. I think
Speaker 1: it might be the most rewatchable show of all time.
Speaker 1: I'd say the Office in Seinfeld. No matter how many
Speaker 1: times you see an episode, people just will watch the
Speaker 1: same episode thirty forty fifty times and it never gets old.
Speaker 1: That's cool. Why do you think that is, I'm hosting
Speaker 1: this podcast. Yeah, I like it. No, no, no no, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you why I think it is. I think it's because, well,
Speaker 1: the characters also are also relatable, and I think it's
Speaker 1: just it's a nice way to like kind of have
Speaker 1: a glimpse into obviously an American office, like relate with
Speaker 1: these people, and then kind of tie it back into
Speaker 1: your own life and you're kind of like, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: like they're doing that, I'm doing this. I'm like maybe
Speaker 1: doing this a little bit better. So I'm really proud
Speaker 1: of myself because everyone has their own inner struggles going
Speaker 1: on in the show, you know, and so it's like
Speaker 1: they're well, you're you're like, well, if Kevin did that
Speaker 1: or if Jim did that, I didn't do it. So
Speaker 1: that means like, you know, my life's going pretty well.
Speaker 1: They're doing pretty well. It means I'm probably doing better.
Speaker 1: That's kind of how I've always looked at it, and
Speaker 1: you know, I had to piggyback off Dean. I think
Speaker 1: a couple of things. One, I think obviously the writing
Speaker 1: has to be good, you know, first and foremost. And
Speaker 1: then secondly, I think you have to have great characters,
Speaker 1: and you have to have characters that people can see
Speaker 1: themselves in, if that makes sense. Like for example, somebody
Speaker 1: can watch The Office and say, oh, I'm like Kevin.
Speaker 1: I can see myself like him, or I can see
Speaker 1: myself like Jim, or or or Dwight. You know, like
Speaker 1: everybody has somebody when they're watching The Office they're like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like that person. And I think because of that,
Speaker 1: you kind of grow with these kind of you grow
Speaker 1: with these characters, and I guess as they grow, you
Speaker 1: grow with them, and so you feel this like certain
Speaker 1: I don't know, but it's it's pretty cool. I also
Speaker 1: think The binge factor had probably something to do with it,
Speaker 1: because so many people like how many times Brian have
Speaker 1: you heard online someone would be like, oh, I tried
Speaker 1: starting a new show and instead I watched six hours
Speaker 1: of the office. Yeah, yeah, well I for the podcast.
Speaker 1: I talked to Billie Eilish, who I hope I'm not
Speaker 1: messing this up. I think this this, this is basically
Speaker 1: the story. I think she had said she had watched
Speaker 1: it fourteen times. I think that's right. And when we
Speaker 1: had some of the clips of the interview air and
Speaker 1: I was talking about it, I had tons of responses
Speaker 1: of social media online like amateur only fourteen times and
Speaker 1: I'm like, what are you like? UM? And I think
Speaker 1: you know, one of the things that that she talks about,
Speaker 1: which you kind of alluded deemed to it earlier, didn't
Speaker 1: not with these words. But there's a there's a come
Speaker 1: I don't it's hard to explain why. But there's a
Speaker 1: comfort factor, there's a feeling um in terms of people
Speaker 1: watching it at night before they go to bed like that.
Speaker 1: There's there's a repeatable nature of UM. It's funny too, because,
Speaker 1: especially early on, you had a lot of people. Now
Speaker 1: most of these people were of the older demographic I
Speaker 1: will I will be honest, who could not watch this
Speaker 1: show because they felt like it was too mean, like
Speaker 1: Steve Corral, like Michael Scott was just like too mean
Speaker 1: and the things he said were just too uncomfortable and
Speaker 1: I didn't like that. But I think if you get
Speaker 1: past the inappropriate, misguided things that he says, there is
Speaker 1: we're getting a little meta here, a little deep, but
Speaker 1: there is um. There is a theme of love and
Speaker 1: family and and it's sort of intrinsic niceness to each
Speaker 1: other actually, as weird as that sounds because of how
Speaker 1: many terrible things he says, you know, for the most part,
Speaker 1: you know, people in the office might roll their eyes
Speaker 1: at Michael Scott, but if somebody from outside comes in
Speaker 1: to try to do something, you know, nobody really likes that.
Speaker 1: Like everybody sat up has their back, which is very
Speaker 1: different than say, what a lot of people are working
Speaker 1: in today, which is like a big box like if
Speaker 1: you're working in paper, you're working at Staples or office
Speaker 1: depot or you know, some huge, big box corporate store
Speaker 1: where there is sort of a familial, uh you know,
Speaker 1: family kind of niceness to the show. With the guys
Speaker 1: of it being kind of subversive. There's there's an innocence
Speaker 1: to the show, I find, uh, and I think that
Speaker 1: comes from I that's that breathes like the comfortability level
Speaker 1: of the show because it is, like you said, sure,
Speaker 1: like yeah, there's some jokes and there's some edgy stuff,
Speaker 1: but like there is this like fundamental innocence to the
Speaker 1: show and the characters of these people that you just
Speaker 1: feel like you've become friends with. Um Brown, I want
Speaker 1: to ask you as an actor because it's so interesting
Speaker 1: to me that a lot of actors, like they strive
Speaker 1: so hard to get that role, you know, like they
Speaker 1: so many people just never make it and they have
Speaker 1: a tough time becoming career actors and actresses. And sometimes
Speaker 1: when people get that one role, like for yourself with
Speaker 1: Kevin and certainly not defines, you know, your your acting career,
Speaker 1: but it's such a you know, larger than life role
Speaker 1: that people know you from it. I remember because as
Speaker 1: a Superman fan, I remember as a kid there was
Speaker 1: an interview with Dean Kane and Dean Kane was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I just I'm so tired of people calling me Superman.
Speaker 1: I want to get past that and in my head,
Speaker 1: I was thinking, like so many people would just die
Speaker 1: for that opportunity to be Like, you have a character
Speaker 1: that people like you without getting like too emotional, you
Speaker 1: like bring so much joy to people because of that character,
Speaker 1: Like you've impacted people's happiness in lives, like so many
Speaker 1: times when like I'm feeling down or so many people
Speaker 1: they're like, I'm going to watch The Office because it
Speaker 1: makes me happier. I don't know as as as an actors,
Speaker 1: just wanted to get your thoughts on that. Well. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'll answer the question in a couple of ways. First off,
Speaker 1: is that um, again you said, not not wanting to
Speaker 1: get too emotional about it, but that that at is
Speaker 1: the greatest the greatest gift that the show gave me um,
Speaker 1: and I think gave to a lot of people. Is
Speaker 1: that the thing that you just mentioned that you know
Speaker 1: how many times, I mean, like how often in public
Speaker 1: someone went through a divorce or a serious medical issue,
Speaker 1: or deployed overseas or any other you know, just life
Speaker 1: thing that happens. That's a bummer that when I and
Speaker 1: we collectively as a group have been told like the
Speaker 1: Office helped me during this time and not as a way,
Speaker 1: and and and by the way, also them having the
Speaker 1: guts and also the need to tell me that like
Speaker 1: because there's one thing for it to be something passive
Speaker 1: that that you acknowledge helped, but almost like therapy style,
Speaker 1: like really having a need to communicate to me what
Speaker 1: the show means in terms of that. And I can
Speaker 1: promise you that was never a stated goal of the show.
Speaker 1: Never a state, you know, and and so much so
Speaker 1: I will say, um, I haven't talked about this before,
Speaker 1: but there was you know, there was a there were people,
Speaker 1: let's just say, people on both sides of the political
Speaker 1: uh presidential race, current politics that you know, they went
Speaker 1: to certain shows about wanting you know, support or to
Speaker 1: do a table read, or to do this or that
Speaker 1: or a fundraiser, and you know, we kind of decided
Speaker 1: that that the show was something that gave all people
Speaker 1: comfort and and kind of not wanting to step into
Speaker 1: that you know, arena or take a side or whatever.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter what we think because the show has
Speaker 1: been a source of comfort for so many people and
Speaker 1: we don't take that for granted or lightly. And again
Speaker 1: like never imagine that, you know, spilling the chili on
Speaker 1: the floor, like would be a part of something that
Speaker 1: would like give people comfort. But yeah, I mean it's
Speaker 1: so funny and it's not it's not a cliche, uh dean,
Speaker 1: because I know it's true. But like that phrase, like
Speaker 1: I put it on every night before I go to sleep,
Speaker 1: I cannot tell like so many people and um and
Speaker 1: again I keep reverencing Billie Eilish in a weird way.
Speaker 1: But like she's like, oh, no, I put it on.
Speaker 1: I'm in the shower. I'm there. I'm like, you're not
Speaker 1: even watching it, so what are you even doing? She's
Speaker 1: like there's just that that sound, that that familiarity, something
Speaker 1: she knows that that you know, brings comfort or whatever.
Speaker 1: That's incredibly moving now as an actor, I mean it's yeah,
Speaker 1: I think, Um, it will never for better or worse,
Speaker 1: it will never escape me. And I don't ever take
Speaker 1: that for granted or ever bemoan that it's an opportunity
Speaker 1: that you know, still gives people pleasure and comfort and
Speaker 1: um and laughter in this world that is diff called
Speaker 1: to find. Sometimes I never do I, you know, I
Speaker 1: it's funny because really I didn't. Comedy was not the
Speaker 1: thing that I mostly did when I was growing up
Speaker 1: doing doing the theater, not growing up. That sounds weird. Um.
Speaker 1: Right before The Office, I was doing theater, and I
Speaker 1: was doing like mostly like real gritty style drama stuff. Um.
Speaker 1: And you know, but for me, it was really about
Speaker 1: the creation of the character. And so I think, you know,
Speaker 1: in some ways from me specifically. I mean, look, I
Speaker 1: have a distinctive head, let's be honest. So like I
Speaker 1: get spotted uh a lot, and I and the character
Speaker 1: was so sort of specific and also different from from me. Um.
Speaker 1: I think that causes people some confusion or whatever. Um.
Speaker 1: But but no, I don't ever, I don't ever complain
Speaker 1: or think to complain it on that. Yeah, it's it's
Speaker 1: funny to your earlier point when you say people would
Speaker 1: watch The Office as a form of therapy. So I
Speaker 1: broke my leg last year and I was in the
Speaker 1: hospital for seven days recovering. It isn't Switzerland, and there
Speaker 1: weren't streaming rights in Switzerland, so I couldn't watch The Office.
Speaker 1: So I had to watch the freaking Friends for seven days,
Speaker 1: which was such a bummer. But the second I got back,
Speaker 1: I started watching The Office. But um, Brian, question for
Speaker 1: you so many years ago, maybe like two or three
Speaker 1: years ago, you were at a premiere for UM, an
Speaker 1: Amazon original show called All or Nothing. Do you remember
Speaker 1: that the football show? You met one of my really
Speaker 1: good friends there who we talked about office with all
Speaker 1: the time. His name is Tommy. He's an Amazon unscripted executive.
Speaker 1: He was talking to you about like shot put or
Speaker 1: something really strange. And I called him right before I
Speaker 1: told him I was going to speak with you today
Speaker 1: and I was like, Tommy, I'm interviewing or I'm you know,
Speaker 1: I'm talking to Kevin from the office from Brian. What's
Speaker 1: one question you want me to ask him? And he's like,
Speaker 1: he like called me freaking out. He's like, you gotta
Speaker 1: ask him. Of all the people on the show, who
Speaker 1: was the person that was most often to like to
Speaker 1: break to break character mid uh you know mid scene
Speaker 1: like laugh, yeah, Mindy Kaling that I can see. No,
Speaker 1: there's no, yeah, there's no. You know. John uh Krasinski,
Speaker 1: who played Jim. He he would like he would break
Speaker 1: a lot, especially with him and uh, you know, like
Speaker 1: and he talked to me about this actually his UM.
Speaker 1: The first part of our conversation just last weekend. He
Speaker 1: was talking about UM, especially when they had the talking
Speaker 1: heads right like the direct interview to camera, and occasionally
Speaker 1: they would put Jim and Dwight in there at the
Speaker 1: same time and they couldn't get through John could not
Speaker 1: get through it. But no, of the entire cast, it's
Speaker 1: Mindy Kaling and I I don't think he would get
Speaker 1: a different answer from anybody. Yeah. It's funny because my
Speaker 1: girlfriend and I listened to Office Ladies podcast quite a
Speaker 1: bit and we we've actual you heard you on there
Speaker 1: as well, uh, and I remember them saying the same
Speaker 1: thing that Mindy was kind of the one that would
Speaker 1: always break the most um and on that topic to
Speaker 1: I kind of want to ask you, so, what would
Speaker 1: what would make the office Deep Dive stand out from
Speaker 1: Office Ladies, which is a great podcast. I'm just curious.
Speaker 1: It's it's just a totally different thing. I mean, they
Speaker 1: what they're doing is so fun and cool. They are
Speaker 1: they're going through episode by episode and they're talking about
Speaker 1: the specific episodes, um, details that happened behind the scenes,
Speaker 1: stuff that happened, uh through the episode. This is uh,
Speaker 1: these are conversations with the individual people. That's really much
Speaker 1: more macro as opposed to micro, like like talking about
Speaker 1: the entirety of the casting process and talking about the
Speaker 1: entirety of like, you know, Steve Carrell slash Michael Scott's
Speaker 1: journey on the show and and him the decision for
Speaker 1: him leaving for example, or where that fit in and
Speaker 1: him coming back. You know. So it's looking at more
Speaker 1: sort of like the whole thing and not and they're
Speaker 1: just going episode by episode. Gotcha? Oh and that actually
Speaker 1: brings me back to a question I had earlier too.
Speaker 1: So you talked about how Michael Scott's character matured started
Speaker 1: for fan bowing. He's like, oh, yeah, a question. Oh
Speaker 1: I forgot, I have another question. Oh wait a minute,
Speaker 1: I have another question. Like I've done a million questions
Speaker 1: up here, and I'm like trying to keep it navigating,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, but I can't do it. Um, you
Speaker 1: were saying you were like a grungy actor before joining
Speaker 1: the office, So how did Brian become Kevin? Like how
Speaker 1: did you get cast? And then how did that whole
Speaker 1: process work? Because if you said you said you weren't
Speaker 1: much of a comedic actor, you were saying, yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I was I focused more on drama. I mean
Speaker 1: I moved to Los Angeles, I was doing theater around
Speaker 1: the country, and uh, I moved to Los Angeles and
Speaker 1: and UH decided I was gonna like take a chance,
Speaker 1: and and I said no to some theater projects and
Speaker 1: I was go to go to l A and explore
Speaker 1: film and television. I've done a little bit outside of
Speaker 1: l A in film and television, like I had my
Speaker 1: Screen Actors Guild card, but um, you know, I went
Speaker 1: and decided to dedicate uh myself to to that and
Speaker 1: fortunately it was just um a lot of preparation. I
Speaker 1: knew the British show. I knew that it would be
Speaker 1: a good show for me. But just a couple of
Speaker 1: months after I moved to Los Angeles, I met Greg
Speaker 1: Daniels and Ben Silverman and the folks at the office. So, um,
Speaker 1: you know, I did a lot of work around the
Speaker 1: country and small theaters and um big theaters, and but
Speaker 1: once I moved to Los Angeles, UM, I met those
Speaker 1: guys pretty quickly and started working on the show nice
Speaker 1: and then the rest of history, I guess. Yeah. So,
Speaker 1: since we are a dating podcast, question for you, if
Speaker 1: you could go back and beat Kevin and Kevin had
Speaker 1: the pick of the letter in the office, who do
Speaker 1: you think Kevin would want to date the most, who
Speaker 1: would heaven want to do because Brian, you're happily married,
Speaker 1: you know, you have kids. I'm trying, I'm repeating the
Speaker 1: question to to to make sure that I'm framing it correctly.
Speaker 1: I I mean, well, let's just say again, we're talking
Speaker 1: about Kevin. Kevin became very, very interested in Jan's boobs
Speaker 1: once they were augmented. So I don't I don't know,
Speaker 1: that's not exactly in the office. But you know, other
Speaker 1: than that, I guess it would be Pam. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess you know that because Angela. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I mean I guess it would be Pam. But I
Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe Jan would be the overall, maybe he would,
Speaker 1: she would be the overall. Yet, although I have to
Speaker 1: say I had a I had a pitch, and I
Speaker 1: talked about talked about this in the podcast. Is gonna
Speaker 1: be more coming out about this, But I actually went
Speaker 1: to the writers. We had big meetings, there was a
Speaker 1: lot of great always very open dialogue between the actors
Speaker 1: and the writers, and I went to the writers and pitched.
Speaker 1: I can't believe I didn't even think this because this
Speaker 1: just came out. Um, I pitched um Aaron Uh, Ellie,
Speaker 1: Ellie Kemper. I felt like their energy um, and they're
Speaker 1: not so much for their sexual tension. But I thought
Speaker 1: that their energy and sort of there, like her like
Speaker 1: a hummingbird just always like floating around and Kevin's just
Speaker 1: absolute stasis would be very funny. I thought that was
Speaker 1: I thought that was a good idea. They decided not
Speaker 1: to go. Well, there was that one episode that Michael
Speaker 1: wanted to be the matchmaker and tried to set uh
Speaker 1: Kevin and Aaron up. Remember that one and Aaron is like,
Speaker 1: I don't like Kevin. I like Andy, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe that was a residubal thing, but I yeah that
Speaker 1: we had talked. We talked about that like going into
Speaker 1: last season, but that that didn't go anywhere. Maybe maybe
Speaker 1: that's the other answer is that if Brian fictionally had
Speaker 1: been I don't know, we're gonna be a spinoff, I
Speaker 1: thought that would have been a very funny pair. That
Speaker 1: was the reason for the thing. Yeah, there wasn't There
Speaker 1: wasn't enough love in chest for Kevin. I feel like
Speaker 1: we didn't get to see that side of Kevin enough. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there was a there was a there, Well, there was Stacy,
Speaker 1: who was allegedly my fiancee for the first couple of years,
Speaker 1: and then she like dumped me over breakfast and that
Speaker 1: went away. And there was storyline around where Michael and
Speaker 1: I were kind of together feeling the same way around
Speaker 1: a Valentine's Day and I end up meeting someone that
Speaker 1: I did have a makeout session. Uh with that. Uh.
Speaker 1: I can't even think of the character's name now, Oh
Speaker 1: my war heard. Um there was an episode called Cafe
Speaker 1: Disco where they turned the old or Michael paper company
Speaker 1: into a thing, and yeah, I invite her and I
Speaker 1: can't remember her name. I remember remember the line I
Speaker 1: got six numbers, one more and I got the whole thing. Brian,
Speaker 1: Now you sound like Dean where you're like, oh, I
Speaker 1: made out with a girl, but I don't remember her name. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: yeah that's on camera or not. Probably well some someone's
Speaker 1: on someone's who's keeping track, you know? Right? Um, So,
Speaker 1: like you said earlier, you said The Office is the
Speaker 1: most watched show now even though it has had a
Speaker 1: new episode in something like that, right, something crazy like
Speaker 1: that seven eight years And I will say that one of,
Speaker 1: if not the most iconic scenes of the show is
Speaker 1: your chili scene, which makes that in essence the most
Speaker 1: wat scene in television history in a way, right, Like
Speaker 1: you know, you kind of deduce it down to that.
Speaker 1: Tell us about that scene, because that has to be
Speaker 1: like your most memorable scene from like an audience perspective, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it is now for sure. You know. I
Speaker 1: was not um when when we when we filmed that scene,
Speaker 1: I had a clearly no idea that it would be this,
Speaker 1: And I thought it was fun, you know, the thing
Speaker 1: that people don't think about. Uh, but there was. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's crazy because people love the show. This scene was
Speaker 1: totally not shot in the way the show is. And
Speaker 1: yet this scene is this scene that you know, everybody
Speaker 1: talks about. But you know, it's just a voiceover from
Speaker 1: me almost the entire scene. No other characters appear in
Speaker 1: the scene except for me. It's a singular you know,
Speaker 1: shot through with me describing what I'm doing. Um. And
Speaker 1: so I thought it was cool and was a fun
Speaker 1: challenge really because you know, more and more as the
Speaker 1: show went on, I started doing a lot more physical comedy,
Speaker 1: which was something that I had done, um, you know,
Speaker 1: prior to the show. Um, and that that was Those
Speaker 1: things were always kind of fun for me because it
Speaker 1: really required figuring some stuff out, like, um, you know,
Speaker 1: same thing with the fake fire drill and the running
Speaker 1: around and okay, now you're gonna smash the vending machine,
Speaker 1: you're gonna run through and I hit the camera and
Speaker 1: do you know so all of that stuff is is
Speaker 1: fun for me. You know this because um, because of
Speaker 1: what resetting and shooting again was going to mean. There
Speaker 1: was a lot of prep sort of done into that,
Speaker 1: you know, like you know, me trying to figure out, Okay,
Speaker 1: how do I spill this and not make it look
Speaker 1: like I'm dumping it and all of those things. Um,
Speaker 1: so that was really fun. I'm tremendously proud, especially now
Speaker 1: because I talked about it often. It was one take
Speaker 1: of the spill. Fortunately, as I have joked many times,
Speaker 1: there were all these plants in place about different pieces
Speaker 1: of carpet and props and chili and all of this stuff. Um,
Speaker 1: there wasn't I don't think enough thought done to how
Speaker 1: messy I was going to be. And I really and
Speaker 1: truly don't know that we could have shot it again
Speaker 1: because you know, chili stains. Let me say that the
Speaker 1: spices that are in chili, so like my hands were
Speaker 1: like almost orange e and like, I don't know that
Speaker 1: we could have done that again that day, but thankfully
Speaker 1: we got it. Yeah. Nice. Well that's just a testament
Speaker 1: to your acting ability, I guess, and I'm sure everyone
Speaker 1: is grateful because that the restaging would have taken forever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah, that is pretty awesome. I mean, Brian,
Speaker 1: I can't thank you enough for coming on the podcast today.
Speaker 1: Everybody listening, go check out the Office Deep Dive with
Speaker 1: Brian bom Gardner. Uh, you just released your episode with
Speaker 1: John Krasinski, which you actually recorded before the pandemic if Yeah,
Speaker 1: so most of the interviews we we yeah, we were
Speaker 1: recorded before the pandemic, so we were in person. I
Speaker 1: traveled to New York then and did that and uh
Speaker 1: and yeah, Jenni Fisher is coming up, and then uh,
Speaker 1: Steve Carrell right after that. So we've got a great
Speaker 1: little stretch here that'll be I think a lot of
Speaker 1: fun for people to hear. That's awesome. I'm glad that.
Speaker 1: I'm glad we had John here because I don't want
Speaker 1: to check it out now. Like I said, I like
Speaker 1: office ladies, but it'll be nice to get that. You
Speaker 1: should listen to You should listen to all of them,
Speaker 1: but you should listen to the one with Ricky Gervais.
Speaker 1: Ricky Gervais is one of my heroes, and so that
Speaker 1: was a great conversation. Um, he's awesome, he's so far
Speaker 1: and seems so freaking cool too. Yeah. Well, Brian, thank
Speaker 1: you again. We've taken up way too much of your time.
Speaker 1: And uh, thank you again for joining us here and
Speaker 1: help my second dating awesome. Thanks so much, guys, Thanks Brian.
Speaker 1: Thanks Brian. It's so nice meeting you. Thanks again, man,
Speaker 1: We really appreciate it. Absolutely, Thanks you guys. All right,
Speaker 1: good luck, Thank you so much. All right, welcome back
Speaker 1: to help I suck at dating, Dean. How's your little
Speaker 1: office fanboy? Heart fulfilled? I've still got butterflies. I'm still nervous.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, just give me a second to recover. Here,
Speaker 1: you're you're sweating a little bit, you're blushing. Kevin's so funny.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Brian's character is so funny because he has
Speaker 1: to be the one of the most influential characters per
Speaker 1: line set, Like he really doesn't have that many lines,
Speaker 1: but he is like one of the key characters of
Speaker 1: the show. I don't are you even do you even
Speaker 1: watched The Office? I feel like, yeah, I've seen I've
Speaker 1: seen episodes. So every time I watched The Office, I
Speaker 1: really enjoy it. But I had never sat down and
Speaker 1: just started binge watching it. As you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: a big TV show guy, and I never watched it
Speaker 1: when I was on. But every time I watch it,
Speaker 1: I do enjoy it, so like I really have to
Speaker 1: kind of sit down. I do feel because I love
Speaker 1: I love I just love comedies and so like Seinfeld
Speaker 1: even friends. You know, I watched all that stuff, so
Speaker 1: I gotta get into it because I love it, and
Speaker 1: I love Ricky Gervais a freaking I love Ricky Gervais,
Speaker 1: so I feel like I would. That's so funny the
Speaker 1: distinctions between us. You you lose it for movies and
Speaker 1: superheroes and stuff, and I like don't really care for
Speaker 1: that at all, and then I'm like obsessed with The Office.
Speaker 1: Parks and rec is also really good, um and like Entourage.
Speaker 1: Those are my three shows I could watch all day,
Speaker 1: every single day. That's why we're so successful at hosting
Speaker 1: this podcast, because we're opposites, right, right, right, Intellectual diversity
Speaker 1: is what it is. Uh So we do have an email.
Speaker 1: It's a good way of putting it. We have an
Speaker 1: email from our suck army. Once again, Please everybody, we
Speaker 1: love your emails. Email us at I suck at dating
Speaker 1: at heart media dot com. Again, I suck at dating
Speaker 1: at I heart media dot com. We love your emails,
Speaker 1: We love talking to you, we love hearing your stories.
Speaker 1: We love answering your questions. We probably do a crappy
Speaker 1: job answering them, but we still want to try. So
Speaker 1: please email us, and of course you can follow us
Speaker 1: to help by second dating Instagram. All right, here we go,
Speaker 1: no mark, no Eastern. Do you want to read it?
Speaker 1: You want me to read it? Oh? Should we have
Speaker 1: Riley read it? Riley? You want to read it? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I definitely can read it. My best This email is
Speaker 1: from Haley. She says, my boyfriend and I have been
Speaker 1: together for a year and we lived together. We're fully
Speaker 1: in love and so happy. I'm a bridesmaid and one
Speaker 1: of my best friend's wedding this summer, and she invited
Speaker 1: my ex too. But whatever, it's her day, so I
Speaker 1: can't be too upset about it. The main issue is
Speaker 1: I am nervous about my boyfriend and my ex interacting.
Speaker 1: We ended on okay terms, but we still are on
Speaker 1: and off several years after ending things, and then I
Speaker 1: goes to them when I tried to get serious again.
Speaker 1: That was pretty close to the time my boyfriend and
Speaker 1: I got together. He's a good guy, but I just
Speaker 1: knew he wasn't the one. My ex will also be
Speaker 1: bringing his new girlfriend to the wedding. I just wondered
Speaker 1: if you had any advice on all of us interacting
Speaker 1: at the wedding, or if I should text my ex
Speaker 1: beforehand to clear the air to make sure things aren't awkward. Well,
Speaker 1: first and foremost, Riley, thank you so much for reading that.
Speaker 1: You're welcome. I know Riley's the best. You're really competing
Speaker 1: for Mark's job over there. She doesn't need to text
Speaker 1: her ex boyfriend about clearing the ear. There's no need
Speaker 1: for that. Listen, it's this day is not about you.
Speaker 1: It's not about your boyfriend. It's not about your ex,
Speaker 1: it's not about her his new girlfriend. This day is
Speaker 1: about your best friend who's getting married. So everybody there
Speaker 1: should respect that and just go there and you be
Speaker 1: cordial and you say hello, it's good to see you,
Speaker 1: and then you go your separate ways and you have
Speaker 1: a grand old time not thinking about your ex or
Speaker 1: not making it about you, because this is not your wedding,
Speaker 1: and Haley, I'm sure that you feel that way. I
Speaker 1: just hope that your ex does as well. And honestly,
Speaker 1: if he doesn't, then he sucks. And your best friend
Speaker 1: will know that, because your best friend will know that
Speaker 1: he's trying to make it about himself. So don't even
Speaker 1: text him. It's not a big deal. Just let it go,
Speaker 1: you don't. I would maybe talk to your boyfriend right
Speaker 1: now and just be like, hey, he's gonna be there.
Speaker 1: Just make sure you're cool about it. This is not
Speaker 1: about us. This is about our best friend getting married.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure your boyfriend would be like, yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna make a scene, Jed. I gotta hand
Speaker 1: it to you, man, I don't think I've ever seen
Speaker 1: yourself fired up before. Uh. The reason so if you remember,
Speaker 1: I didn't, I went through somewhat of a similar situation
Speaker 1: right here on this podcast with this same as act
Speaker 1: scenario where you know my good friend was grundsman. Uh,
Speaker 1: I mean we don't have to rehash it because it
Speaker 1: was a difficult time. But it was just a hard
Speaker 1: moment where it was like, you know, you you go
Speaker 1: you kind of like go through a breakup with a friend,
Speaker 1: and then you come through the scenario where it's like, oh, no, like,
Speaker 1: do I want to put these people in the same
Speaker 1: room where like I know there's like tension there and
Speaker 1: I'm sure they'll be fine, But do I like even
Speaker 1: want to present the idea of that happening. Uh. So,
Speaker 1: I understand, I understand it's tough, it's not easy. I
Speaker 1: I agree. I don't think anyone can understand this situation
Speaker 1: better than you on this podcast. At the moment, I
Speaker 1: will say, I think there's some holes in your argument.
Speaker 1: I think, baby, I'm ready. Your advice was it was
Speaker 1: sound advice. I didn't agree with all of it, but
Speaker 1: I don't think you'd go wrong by following your advice.
Speaker 1: But the point is with we're gonna use your wedding
Speaker 1: as an example, and I know you want to bring
Speaker 1: it back up, but we have to. So you one
Speaker 1: of very good friends was a groomsman. You didn't even
Speaker 1: give the possibility of the of Hailey situation happening because
Speaker 1: you were worried about the possible repercussions of it, and
Speaker 1: you kind of nipped in the bud and you're like,
Speaker 1: you know what, we're just gonna go ahead and say
Speaker 1: we don't want any type of uncomfortablelty among the guests,
Speaker 1: which I respect, I think it was the right decision.
Speaker 1: My point is you thought that it could have gotten
Speaker 1: to a point where it was awkward for everyone. And
Speaker 1: it sounds like Hayley doesn't have that option because she's
Speaker 1: gonna be at the wedding regardless with her ex. So
Speaker 1: if you think it could be that potentially that bad,
Speaker 1: I think what Haley should do is text her act well,
Speaker 1: tell her boyfriend. First, tell her boyfriend what's going on.
Speaker 1: Say hey, baby boy, listen to what I'm listen to
Speaker 1: what's going on. Make sure you can call him baby boy.
Speaker 1: Really butter up first, you know exactly, but I'm up
Speaker 1: real good, um, tell him what's gonna happen. And then
Speaker 1: and then be like, I'm going to text him and
Speaker 1: kind of just like break the ice before we even
Speaker 1: get there, you know, and just be like and it's
Speaker 1: just simple text because you'd be like, hey, I hear
Speaker 1: you going to this wedding, I'm going as well. I'll
Speaker 1: not like, I'll see you there, but like you know,
Speaker 1: if you guys are on good terms, it doesn't really
Speaker 1: have to be much more than that. And then when
Speaker 1: you see him there, instead of just like you know,
Speaker 1: passively sitting off in the distance, I would say, bring
Speaker 1: your boyfriend up assertively to him and his new girlfriend
Speaker 1: and just like, hey, hi, I get to see you,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and then that way there's no more tension.
Speaker 1: I think if you those two things, there would be
Speaker 1: zero issues whatsoever. What do you think I'm imagining they're
Speaker 1: not on good terms seeing how she ghosted is, well,
Speaker 1: she did ghost is, but but look, he just said
Speaker 1: I can't remember where I remember seeing it. But she
Speaker 1: said we ended okay terms, okay terms, but we were
Speaker 1: still on and all for several years after ending things,
Speaker 1: and then I ghosted him. So I'm thinking that when
Speaker 1: they did end things on okay terms, when she didn't respond,
Speaker 1: not okay terms anymore, I could imagine I'll tell you what,
Speaker 1: all the more reason to do what everything I just said.
Speaker 1: I think by being the assertive person in the situation,
Speaker 1: you're basically asserting that you're cool with it, and by
Speaker 1: you being cool with it, he's going to be cool
Speaker 1: with it, you know, don't You find it sometimes though,
Speaker 1: when you try to get ahead of a situation, it
Speaker 1: sometimes like makes the situation more of a thing that
Speaker 1: it actually is. Like if she reached out and said, hey,
Speaker 1: I don't want to make a thing of this, do
Speaker 1: you think he'd be like why you think I was
Speaker 1: going to make a thing of it instead of just
Speaker 1: like going and not talking and be like hey, hello,
Speaker 1: see you later. I definitely see your point. And that's
Speaker 1: why I never encouraged her to say I don't want
Speaker 1: to make a thing of this, because by saying I
Speaker 1: don't want to make a thing of this, you're making
Speaker 1: a thing of it. Simply just be like, hey, I
Speaker 1: heard you going to so and So's wedding. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be there too, looking forward to a fun weekend. Like
Speaker 1: that's all you need to say. You don't need to
Speaker 1: say I'm making a thing of it. Simply just reaching
Speaker 1: out implying that you're gonna be there, and then when
Speaker 1: you're there, go up and say hi, and then that's
Speaker 1: the end of it. It's like, my biggest advice is
Speaker 1: if she does, do that, tell your boyfriend like before him,
Speaker 1: show him the text and be like I'm about to
Speaker 1: hit send. Are you okay with this? For sure? It
Speaker 1: definitely is like, uh, it should be worked upon. It's
Speaker 1: like a group project, you know there there it's like
Speaker 1: group A versus group B. Group A puts together the project.
Speaker 1: Since it's a group B group be probably he's gonna
Speaker 1: bring it to his girlfriend. They're gonna put something together,
Speaker 1: send it back to group A, and then they're gonna
Speaker 1: be at the wedding and they're all gonna be one group.
Speaker 1: I think that's very I think that's the best advice
Speaker 1: I've ever given on this podcast. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 1: There's no eye in team, but there is an eye
Speaker 1: in relationship. So I'm not sure if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: They're thinking about it. There's yeah even so you and
Speaker 1: h Well, that was gonna do it for this week's
Speaker 1: episode of Help I Suck at Dating, a big thank
Speaker 1: you too, of course. Brian bum Gardner, Uh, please listen
Speaker 1: to his podcast We Know Dean is the Office Deep Dive.
Speaker 1: It's of great stuff on there, especially if you love
Speaker 1: the office, which you do, because it's probably the biggest
Speaker 1: show of all time. Big thank you to Riley for
Speaker 1: stepping in. Riley was the producer, the engineer, she wrote
Speaker 1: the rundown, She got the guests like Riley kicking, but
Speaker 1: she needs to do one more thing before we can
Speaker 1: let her get off Scotch free. I think it'd be
Speaker 1: great to have a woman's perspective on the question we
Speaker 1: just answered. Would you guys both be okay with that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll get my perspective, Okay, I agree. I think she
Speaker 1: should text the cor X beforehand. I think if she's
Speaker 1: thinking about it this much and she's worried about it,
Speaker 1: I think she should text. And also, if you're overthinking it,
Speaker 1: it's going to be awkward there, you know, in person.
Speaker 1: Might as well get it out on text beforehand and
Speaker 1: then be okay face to face. So I am outnumbered
Speaker 1: on this one two to one. They do say geniuses
Speaker 1: walk alone. I'm not a genius unfortunately, And you guys
Speaker 1: are probably right on this one, seeing how like my
Speaker 1: dating history is and like you know, I obviously screwed
Speaker 1: up the thing with Ashley for quite some time and
Speaker 1: thank god she was still there. Uh so, and make
Speaker 1: sure everybody thank you did that make any sense. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for tuning into this podcast. Next week,
Speaker 1: I do want to tease a little segment we're gonna
Speaker 1: talk about. So we have an article for Cosmopolitan that
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about this week, but we didn't
Speaker 1: have time. It was about somebody bringing a crystal with
Speaker 1: them on the first day, and so Riley put together
Speaker 1: some things that, hey, if this person brought this with
Speaker 1: them on a first date, would you think it's cool
Speaker 1: or creepy? So we're gonna talk about that next week,
Speaker 1: which I'm very excited to dive into and make sure
Speaker 1: you tune in. We're hopefully we all suck just a
Speaker 1: little bit less, a little bit less. Follow help by
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to podcast