1 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, I am Bramos and this is the Street 2 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:22,760 Speaker 1: Stoic Podcast, bringing your daily dose of timeless stoic philosophy 3 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: remix for the hip hop generation. Now, with that in mind, 4 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 1: let's get things started with your daily shot of inspiration. 5 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,840 Speaker 1: And today we're talking all about the idea of diminishing 6 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: your ego and just letting it go. Man, just being 7 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: unattached and letting a situation be what it is. And 8 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 1: a song that came to mind is from Fabulous is 9 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: Leaving You, and he says, but it was good while 10 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 1: it lasted, but when it's dead, let it go. 11 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 2: Put it in a cast. 12 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: And man, if you are are somebody who's like stuck 13 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 1: on a person, right, this is probably resonating far, far 14 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: greater than it ever should. 15 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 2: Right, we got to just we just gotta let it, 16 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 2: let it go. 17 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,319 Speaker 1: Right, people are showing us what they sort of think 18 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: of us, or what they want from us, or if 19 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,279 Speaker 1: they're making us feel like an option, then. 20 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 2: We just got to move on with our lives. 21 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,679 Speaker 1: Right. But it's our damn ego that just keeps us 22 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 1: hanging on desperately, right, Like we often will be fighting 23 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 1: for things that no longer serve us or that we 24 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 1: don't even truly want, but we're just fighting for them 25 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: because our ego, it can't handle the fact that something 26 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 1: didn't end on our terms, or that it didn't go 27 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,960 Speaker 1: according to our plan. And I've said this a million 28 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:45,160 Speaker 1: one times on this show, but reality is life. Don't 29 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,760 Speaker 1: give a damn about your plans at the end of 30 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: the day, right, And you being so attached to this 31 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 1: idea of what your life is supposed to look like, 32 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: this relationship that you were supposed to have with this person, right, 33 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: the way this job was supposed. 34 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 2: To pan out. 35 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: You having that kind of attachment to an outcome that 36 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 1: is completely out of your control is incredibly unhealthy and 37 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: is a way to kind of be fast tracked to 38 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 1: being incredibly unhappy. 39 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 2: Right. And this leads perfectly to a quote from one 40 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 2: of the stokes, Marcus. 41 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: Aurelius, where he says, receive without pride, let go without attachment. 42 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 1: That second part right there, let go without attachment Again, 43 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: your damn ego is making you stay in a situation 44 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,680 Speaker 1: in a mindset that is no longer serving you. 45 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:34,919 Speaker 2: I mean, how many times have you been sort of man, 46 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 2: we're talking about relationships. Let's be real about this. 47 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: I'm trying to sugarcoat it and not like give too 48 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,240 Speaker 1: much of my own talking to like I'm talking to 49 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,079 Speaker 1: myself right now and anybody else who can relate to this, Right, 50 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 1: you just gotta let it go. Sometimes you gotta let 51 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,919 Speaker 1: that person go. You can't linger on about somebody's potential. 52 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,239 Speaker 1: You gotta live in the reality at the end of 53 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: the day. Right, let go without attachment, As Marcus Aurelius says, right, 54 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: and obviously Kats have the bag. I relate to this 55 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 1: unincredibly person level, right, Like, there have been so many 56 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: times that I have complicated my life by refusing to 57 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: accept reality versus the idea that I had in my head. 58 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 1: And listen, that's happened with like jobs or careers. You know, 59 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 1: at times I would be applying for jobs just for 60 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: the sake of wanting to get the validation that I 61 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 1: could get them. Or I would accept a job offer, 62 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,799 Speaker 1: or I stayed a particular job just again to get 63 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,640 Speaker 1: that validation to be on my own terms, to prove 64 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 1: that I could do it right. And that just led 65 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 1: to then a weird sort of unhappy situation where I'm 66 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,960 Speaker 1: working this gig that I hate and I feel guilty 67 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: because I accepted it and now I no longer want 68 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: to do it. But again, that's not what we're talking 69 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: about today. We're being very specific. This is about being 70 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: hung up on a particular person for whatever reason, right, 71 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: Like more recently than ever. You know, I'm back in 72 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 1: my single phase of life after being in relationship for 73 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 1: a long time, and I got to be honest, I've 74 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: found myself getting hung up on women that I know 75 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 1: are right for me. And literally it's my ego just 76 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 1: looking for a sense of closure or more than anything, 77 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: probably looking for control in this situation, right, And I 78 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: don't think either one of those is guaranteed in this life. 79 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,839 Speaker 1: Not every single thing ends with a sense of closure 80 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: where you feel like you got everything you needed from it. 81 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 1: You had that conversation, the person gave you a reason 82 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 1: why they fell off the earth, or why they weren't 83 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,599 Speaker 1: as invested as you. Right, it just doesn't always happen 84 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,799 Speaker 1: that way. You're lucky if it does. But this is life. 85 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 1: This is dealing with other people. You can't control them. 86 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,280 Speaker 1: You can't control life, right, It's just it is what 87 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:40,680 Speaker 1: it is sometimes, And again, your ego is the one 88 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 1: hanging on for no good reason whatsoever. Because your ego 89 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 1: wants to be right, Your ego wants to be validated. 90 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,240 Speaker 1: Your ego wants to be standing in the winner circle 91 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: at the end of the day. And that obsession with 92 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 1: winning in a situation that you have zero control over 93 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 1: it will lead you down a path towards hanging on 94 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:06,480 Speaker 1: to or being involved in situations or situationships or relationships 95 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: whatever it might be, that are not serving you whatsoever. 96 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,160 Speaker 1: It is our damn ego at the end of the day. 97 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,919 Speaker 1: Now you've heard from Fabulous, you've heard from Marcus Aurelius. 98 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: I have also used you as my therapist for this episode. 99 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,360 Speaker 1: Now with that said, let's talk about how you can 100 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,920 Speaker 1: make it your mantra for today. 101 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,840 Speaker 2: But first we'll take a quick break and then we'll 102 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 2: be right back. 103 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: All right, So today we are talking all about the 104 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 1: stoic idea of diminishing your ego, and we just got 105 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 1: down like a slippery road of talking about relationships situationships. Again, 106 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 1: you could apply this to your job that you hate, 107 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 1: whatever it might be. But we're talking about getting hung 108 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 1: up on the wrong person. And we've heard from Fabulous, 109 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,360 Speaker 1: we have heard from one of the Stokes Marcus Aurelius, 110 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: I have used you as my venting post right now 111 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,360 Speaker 1: for this episode. Now let's talk about how you can 112 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:01,000 Speaker 1: make it your mantra for today and now. First and foremost, 113 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,919 Speaker 1: it really begins with just letting go, right, letting go 114 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 1: of the storyline that you have in your head and 115 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 1: coming back down to reality. It is not about winning 116 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,280 Speaker 1: or losing. It is not about proving that you are enough. 117 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: It's not about convincing someone to see things the way 118 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 1: that you see it, right. It's not about being the 119 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 1: one to end things or holding on to this idea 120 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,280 Speaker 1: that you have of a person or a situation. You 121 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: can't control everything, no matter how much your ego tries to. 122 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,600 Speaker 1: There are so many things out of your control, particularly 123 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 1: any situation involving another person. 124 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,839 Speaker 2: You cannot control them. Right. 125 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 1: You have to get comfortable with the idea of just 126 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: letting go, sometimes not being attached to the outcome, accepting 127 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: what is. And obviously it's easier said than done. And 128 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: we're talking about like relationships. There's feelings of all there's 129 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: time that is invested right, there's connections being made, and 130 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 1: it's difficult when you begin to sort of add somebody 131 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: to your life, They become a part of your daily routine, 132 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: and then you know they ghost you, or they begin 133 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 1: to act different, or they're just not giving you what 134 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: you need anymore. It's easy to kind of like lean 135 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: in harder and harder, right to try and get that 136 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 1: from that person. But again, you're not always going to 137 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: have that closure that you're looking for, right. You can't 138 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 1: allow the sort of narrative that you've made up in 139 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 1: your mind, because we're all guilty of it at times, 140 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: particularly when you meet somebody that you really like, like, oh, man, 141 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: is this the one? Am I gonna start a life 142 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: with this person? Am I gonna you know, get the 143 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 1: white pick of fence, the kids, the dog, whatever it 144 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:39,240 Speaker 1: might be, right, the tesla or whatever the American dream 145 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 1: is these days. Right, And you sort of run away 146 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 1: planning out the next ten years of your life, and 147 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: you forget that you don't even know this person. You 148 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: still have to have to really get to know them. 149 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: You still have so many more steps to be taken 150 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: before you can even think about truly living that vision 151 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 1: of your life. 152 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 2: And that's about being present. 153 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 1: That's about not adding extra attachment to a situation that 154 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 1: is just not there. Yet and it is that extra attachment, 155 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,440 Speaker 1: that storyline that we create, the fairy tale in our minds, 156 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 1: the sort of story that we begin to let our 157 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: mind run away with that is inevitably what begins to 158 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 1: add extra emotion to a situation that it just does. 159 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 2: Not call for. 160 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 1: And to recap all we've been talking about, I think 161 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 1: fab is cold blood in the way that. 162 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 2: He says this. 163 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 1: Right, he says, it was goat lasted, but when it's dead, 164 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 1: let it go, put it in a casket. 165 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 2: It's over. 166 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: Right, He's saying, celebrate, be happy, enjoy the moments that 167 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: you had with this particular person, right, look back on 168 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: it fondly, but when. 169 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 2: It's over, accept it, move on. 170 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 1: Just like Marcus Aurelia says, let go without attachment, right 171 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: when it's time to let something go. 172 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 2: It's normal to have feelings. 173 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 1: There's normal to you know, maybe second guess yourself just 174 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,400 Speaker 1: a bit, but you have to accept the fact that 175 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:54,840 Speaker 1: your time in this particular situation with this particular person, 176 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 1: whatever it might be it now, is coming to a close. 177 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,920 Speaker 1: Be okay with that. Understand that this is an inevitable 178 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 1: part of life. And I'm literally taking my own advice 179 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,959 Speaker 1: I'm I'm speaking to myself right now and reminding myself, 180 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 1: do not let your damn ego get you into some 181 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,679 Speaker 1: more messy situations that you know are are not what 182 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,320 Speaker 1: you actually want, but instead you're just searching for some 183 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 1: sort of validation of knowing that you could have had 184 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 1: it right, reminding myself that it's okay to let go. 185 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,000 Speaker 1: It's okay for things to not pan out the way 186 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: that I wanted them to. It's okay for somebody to 187 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,319 Speaker 1: not be who I thought they were. I don't need 188 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: to fight for the idea of situations when reality is 189 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: showing me what it actually is. Live in reality, not 190 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: in the storyline fairy tale narrative that you have in 191 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 1: your head that your ego is trying to force to 192 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:43,520 Speaker 1: happen right now. But that said, thank you so much 193 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 1: for checking out the Street Stoic. Do your best to 194 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: apply these concepts that we discussed into everyday life, and 195 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: I will catch you next time. The Street Stoke podcast 196 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,959 Speaker 1: is a production of Iheart's Michael Dura Podcast Network.