Speaker 1: I got to s Yeah, yeah, yeah, welcome. We know
Speaker 1: his parenting. I'm Peter McCarney, Beth Nowel, We're in it.
Speaker 1: We're doing it episode Wow. Can you believe that we're
Speaker 1: almost to a hundred? Can you believe? Hundred weeks? So,
Speaker 1: like the rest of you, where um still in coronavirus lockdown,
Speaker 1: we are hearts are going out to those of you
Speaker 1: who are in essential workforces and in New York City
Speaker 1: and areas that are being very affected right now. Um,
Speaker 1: we are still riding this out in Massachusetts. We're boy,
Speaker 1: We're mostly doing good. It's been a little bit of
Speaker 1: a bumpy ride here. Um, but yes, relatively we're great,
Speaker 1: um compared to people who are really struggling. But yeah,
Speaker 1: we're very lucky. But we're also having to deal with
Speaker 1: each other. That being said, we have our own challenges.
Speaker 1: What are some of yours this week? Elizabeth? Um, it's
Speaker 1: just trying to carve out space and time to be
Speaker 1: alone and away from you all is my number one concern.
Speaker 1: That and my allergy situation. How are they compared to
Speaker 1: last week? Better than last week? But it's still like
Speaker 1: it feels like in terms of keeping the kids away
Speaker 1: from me, it feels like there's like a strong effort
Speaker 1: early in the week, and then as the week goes on,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like our regular weeks where everything just
Speaker 1: slowly starts to fall apart and the kids become more
Speaker 1: tired and everyone's trying, like it becomes sort of every
Speaker 1: man for himself and it devolves and it's not fun
Speaker 1: by the end. The end of the week fell apart
Speaker 1: in terms of our rules. But today boy being back
Speaker 1: on track and being very clear about who's in charge
Speaker 1: of what when, Yeah, better. It feels like it feels
Speaker 1: good for it to be a Monday and be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're hunkering down, and it kind of feels good to
Speaker 1: be the weekend when we're like, okay, we're not really
Speaker 1: going to try to work that hard, and then everyone's
Speaker 1: like a little bit more relaxed. Um. But Friday, when
Speaker 1: you're almost there, Yeah, Friday, it was hard because you're
Speaker 1: kind of like neither here nor there, Like the kids
Speaker 1: are too tired to actually uh do anything productive or
Speaker 1: be left alone, and then like our efforts to get
Speaker 1: work done are increasingly futile and we really should already
Speaker 1: be throwing in the towel we should, except today they
Speaker 1: got a lot of education. Today. Daddy school was back
Speaker 1: in full swing, and I I saw the Brent's teacher
Speaker 1: has been sending At the beginning, I think every educator
Speaker 1: was suddenly wildly trying to figure out how to do
Speaker 1: their job digitally, and especially were a kindergarten teacher, Like
Speaker 1: what the hell do you do? So I feel like
Speaker 1: the the resources she was sending our way were a
Speaker 1: little hodgepodge and weird, and I would just ignore them
Speaker 1: because I was The emails that Brent's teacher were sending
Speaker 1: were so frequent that I just couldn't even like catch
Speaker 1: up to read the first or second email. And then
Speaker 1: I was just like, you know what, I don't read
Speaker 1: these emails. So I emailed her and I gave her
Speaker 1: up because she uh is great, and she she reached
Speaker 1: out to us individually, as I assumed she did with
Speaker 1: all the kids. She's like, how's it going? And I explained,
Speaker 1: I was honest. I was like, we're not really following
Speaker 1: what you're sending us, but here's what we're doing. It's
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff, and she's like, that's fabulous, don't
Speaker 1: worry about it. So that took a load off. But
Speaker 1: then today actually went in and started reading her notes
Speaker 1: and she has this, uh this online resource there. She
Speaker 1: signed up her class for like these reading challenges. And
Speaker 1: I ignored it at first because I'm like, Brin is
Speaker 1: a great reader and he's reading all the books here.
Speaker 1: But I opened it today and it's a very simple
Speaker 1: you know, Brin, here's like twenty books. Um, They're very simple,
Speaker 1: and he clicks on the button to read them, and
Speaker 1: he reads the book and then he takes a quiz
Speaker 1: about it. And uh, we started actually open this up
Speaker 1: and logged in and created his account and started doing it,
Speaker 1: and I was shocked at how into it he was.
Speaker 1: He read like twenty books in a row, and I
Speaker 1: was like, this is great. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: let's take a break, because then you you get points
Speaker 1: and you build up all these like stars, and then
Speaker 1: you can take the stars and go into a spaceship
Speaker 1: and build your little special spaceship room where you can
Speaker 1: buy ro about the aliens. And this immediately destroyed the
Speaker 1: whole thing, because as soon as brain realized he could
Speaker 1: spend these stars on cool things, he rushed back to
Speaker 1: the books and started reading them too fast, and that
Speaker 1: then he started he had a perfect score for like
Speaker 1: twenty books, and then the next three he started getting
Speaker 1: questions wrong because he would just want to get the
Speaker 1: stars and he'd rush back to like buy an alien,
Speaker 1: and he got so mad when he missed a question,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you're overloaded, man, you gotta take a
Speaker 1: break because you're not remembering anything from the books because
Speaker 1: you've just read now thirty books, and so he's got
Speaker 1: a lot of points. But I'm like, this incentive was
Speaker 1: all wrong. I should have left alone when when the
Speaker 1: incentive was just reading. Yeah, it's hard enough to fall
Speaker 1: in those traps when you're doing homeschool and just like
Speaker 1: you say something offhand and then suddenly it like derails
Speaker 1: the whole day. That that is I think my big
Speaker 1: suggestion for parents trying to do any sort of homeschooling.
Speaker 1: Schedules are great, you know if you can get them
Speaker 1: to work, but ultimately, desire drives learning. So if your
Speaker 1: kids attention and excitement is pointed in a direction that
Speaker 1: is in any way productive or educational, don't try to
Speaker 1: don't try to push, take a hard right turn into
Speaker 1: something else. Ride that wave and just say they're into
Speaker 1: this right now let's just get everything educational out of
Speaker 1: it we can, and if it means four days of
Speaker 1: complicated additions, which it was for Britain, for our kids,
Speaker 1: I think this advice is pretty applicable for our kids
Speaker 1: who are three and five years old. I feel like
Speaker 1: for other people, like for us, the learning resources seem
Speaker 1: kind of like a waste of time because it's like
Speaker 1: very time consuming to look up the resources and figure
Speaker 1: them out, and it's just it's like for a five
Speaker 1: year old, so it's not like it's like we could
Speaker 1: challenge them on our own. If our kids were older, though,
Speaker 1: I do think I would be like, what is common
Speaker 1: core math? How does life work? Like? I would need
Speaker 1: more help, And I do think like kids at those
Speaker 1: ages might want to be stimulated in ways that I
Speaker 1: could not directly provide. I would. I think in some
Speaker 1: ways I would love it because I think the common core,
Speaker 1: like what you need to figure out is a little
Speaker 1: more tangible. Well, this is what I like about Daddy's
Speaker 1: school being more structured, is that you love to set
Speaker 1: the rules and be the leader. And I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't enjoy like repeating things like I just don't like
Speaker 1: I want to be doing something new and interesting. So
Speaker 1: like mommy school tends to be more free form, and
Speaker 1: we take a walk on the beach in the afternoon,
Speaker 1: like like these kids need to get outside. Sometimes mommy
Speaker 1: school is like a task that allows mommy to clean
Speaker 1: the kitchen. Sometimes mommy school is a walk and that's what.
Speaker 1: We had a really good walk today and they were
Speaker 1: like playing and like we were on this adventure. And
Speaker 1: then we drew a square door in the sand and
Speaker 1: we jumped into it into like a different world, and
Speaker 1: then like they were loving it. So it was like
Speaker 1: it's very Jacqueline West Books of Elsewhere. Yeah, well then
Speaker 1: we when we were jumped through the sand one on
Speaker 1: one of the times, burn was like we're in a book.
Speaker 1: And then they just kept saying that over and over again.
Speaker 1: They were like, we're in a book. There. Their make
Speaker 1: believe is getting like Narnia level, you know, like the
Speaker 1: kids that in the Lion, the Witch and Wardrobe are
Speaker 1: in this giant empty house and so they just explore
Speaker 1: and create their own world. To I feel like there
Speaker 1: are in that mode, and they're starting to have like
Speaker 1: call backs, like they're always like okay, your winkle, I'm
Speaker 1: tinkle and your ankle like they have, like go to characters.
Speaker 1: Can we talk about the fake mustaches? I don't know
Speaker 1: where they got this. They just started. They just walked
Speaker 1: into the room when I was there. They're both holding
Speaker 1: we're holding fingers up to their mouths as fake mustaches
Speaker 1: in disguise, and they Brin said, I'm Mr Rogers and
Speaker 1: this is Mrs Rogers and I love Um. Somebody pointed
Speaker 1: out on Instagram that Mrs Rogers has a mustache as well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's my favorite, really rather inconspicuous. And then I said
Speaker 1: where are my children? And Prince said they what did
Speaker 1: you say? They went on a hike and they're never
Speaker 1: coming back. If they win the woods and they're never
Speaker 1: come back, you'll never see them again. Um. So there's
Speaker 1: mommy school and there's Daddy School, but periodically there's also
Speaker 1: Ali School. Yeah. Today my sister had a really good
Speaker 1: homeschool session with them. So she I told her. I
Speaker 1: was like, you should teach them civics and she did.
Speaker 1: Boy did she teach them civics. So she, my sister
Speaker 1: with along with Brendan Mayven, created a household government for
Speaker 1: us with a constitution with different branches of government. So
Speaker 1: there's the legislative branch, which is composed of the five
Speaker 1: of us in the House, and then the judicial branch,
Speaker 1: which is my parents, well your parents and my brothers
Speaker 1: and your brothers, and the executive branch, which is your
Speaker 1: parents because they own this house that work currently in. Yes.
Speaker 1: And then so then my sister wrote some bills with
Speaker 1: my with Brenna Maven. Each of them had a bill
Speaker 1: that they sponsored, and some of them medic sponsors. So,
Speaker 1: for example, one of the bills brands said, there's a
Speaker 1: little bill he wrote that says if someone else butt slap,
Speaker 1: then everyone has to slap their butts ten times. They don't,
Speaker 1: they go to prison forever. If they go to prison forever.
Speaker 1: So that bill did not pass. I think a lot
Speaker 1: of us felt that. Actually, Ali wrote a bill if
Speaker 1: someone says jumping Jack's, do you have to tend juppy
Speaker 1: Jack's if you don't go to prison forever. That was
Speaker 1: voted down. That was voted down. The slap butt slap
Speaker 1: was passed. Yeah, that was a three to five vote.
Speaker 1: And then Maybn historically her bill passed unanimously, which was
Speaker 1: a bill that said everybody should have a brain. Everyone
Speaker 1: is supposed to have a brain. Everyone is supposed to
Speaker 1: have a brain. That's the full text of the bill. Yeah,
Speaker 1: not unclear what the penalties are or I don't think
Speaker 1: that is interpreted, but doesn't say you must so you're
Speaker 1: supposed to. So that bill passed unanimously, and then it
Speaker 1: went to the executive branch on a zoom conference with
Speaker 1: all three branches of government. Nana and granddad and grandma
Speaker 1: and grandpa. You're dad and my dad both had some
Speaker 1: good singers on the call. They were in there their element. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when we said, we said the ten butt slabs rule
Speaker 1: when someone else but slab, and my dad said, isn't
Speaker 1: everyone already doing that? And then your dad had one
Speaker 1: about uh, the executive branch, I don't know something about
Speaker 1: legislative branch not having brains. So they signed into law
Speaker 1: the butt slap law. The executive branch signed it. They
Speaker 1: vetoed the everyone is supposed to have a brain. I
Speaker 1: think on solid grounds it was wishwashy could be interpreted
Speaker 1: too loosely, you would have a legal challenge. So they
Speaker 1: vetoed it, but it was unanimous to vote, so we
Speaker 1: overturned the veto and UH, so we have two new laws. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then at the of the call with them branded
Speaker 1: yell butt slap um, and then he did not slap
Speaker 1: his own butt, so he was taken to court. Um.
Speaker 1: And he argued that as the person who yells but slap,
Speaker 1: he doesn't have to slap his own But he had
Speaker 1: a pretty good argument. The law said that when anybody
Speaker 1: says butt slap, you have to slap your butt ten times.
Speaker 1: So there was an implied sense of other in it. Um.
Speaker 1: But the judicial branch said they needed six months to deliberate.
Speaker 1: It's tied up in court. My sister is going to
Speaker 1: work on them to write some more specific laws going
Speaker 1: forward to account for these kind of issues and interpretation
Speaker 1: of the law. Um. Can we talk about how much
Speaker 1: ice cream we've eaten? We've eaten a lot of everything lately,
Speaker 1: a lot of home cooked meals. Um, some really really
Speaker 1: good recipes, I would say, really good improvised recipes. Um.
Speaker 1: I gotta say, I love I love how much we're eating,
Speaker 1: just immediately eating all the leftovers. I feel like at
Speaker 1: home we waste so much food, but here we're like,
Speaker 1: we don't want to go to the grocery store. Pandemic
Speaker 1: and so we're like, Alie just made a a taco
Speaker 1: salad from our from our tacos. The other night, I
Speaker 1: made a tortilla cast role from our tacos. That was
Speaker 1: three meals from that Taco night. Yeah, Taco Night is
Speaker 1: really prolific versatile. Um, oh boy, we're really We're really
Speaker 1: isolated out here, aren't we? Are we? Yeah? I suddenly,
Speaker 1: just five seconds ago felt in just talking to you know,
Speaker 1: thousands of people who aren't here. It was a weird
Speaker 1: moment of oh my god, we are alone. And I'm
Speaker 1: sure a lot of people are feeling that right now,
Speaker 1: especially people who are literally alone. I've got a good
Speaker 1: number of friends in apartments that are literally alone. My
Speaker 1: brother is literally alone. It's tough out there. I'm I
Speaker 1: am really you know. I don't want to be too
Speaker 1: dark on the podcast, but I am getting increasingly worried
Speaker 1: for an increasing number of people. Um. So I hope
Speaker 1: everyone listening is doing okay mentally and physically. And I
Speaker 1: gotta say, I really am enjoying. I'm online and on
Speaker 1: social media more than I then I normally would want
Speaker 1: to be. Um, but it feels like a lot of
Speaker 1: time there is a nice balance of boy, we're taking this,
Speaker 1: at least in my like sphere, in my bubble, people
Speaker 1: obviously taking this very seriously, but there's also a nice
Speaker 1: balance of well and then beyond that, let's be positive
Speaker 1: and let's be here for each other and let's let's
Speaker 1: find healthy diversion um and again like that's great, prepared
Speaker 1: and positive. I feel like I feel that way when
Speaker 1: I interact with people directly, like if I have a
Speaker 1: Zoom happy hour with my old improv team, or like
Speaker 1: when I'm texting my close friends, or like my coworkers
Speaker 1: if we're on Slack or whatever. I feel that way.
Speaker 1: But when I go on social media, it's like very
Speaker 1: overwhelming between the news and then people's anger about the news,
Speaker 1: and very understandably, it's just really overwhelming, and I do
Speaker 1: it's I think it's just really hard to find a
Speaker 1: balance of like taking this seriously and trying to be
Speaker 1: somewhat informed and also making sure that you're taking care
Speaker 1: of yourself and you're like not making yourself crazy for
Speaker 1: no reason, because I think for a lot of us,
Speaker 1: we're not, you know, healthcare workers. There's not a lot
Speaker 1: we can do day to day, and I don't think
Speaker 1: it's like helpful for anyone for us to make ourselves
Speaker 1: crazy about it. Yeah, completely adjust what I what I said.
Speaker 1: That's not general social media. I go to my Facebook
Speaker 1: news feed and it's oh miserable. But these targeted, specific
Speaker 1: online communities, you know, like I talked to all the
Speaker 1: Story Parts company members and it's it's a it's a
Speaker 1: specific and positive focused group or like a Zoom zoom
Speaker 1: hang out with people, uh for sure. Yeah, but going
Speaker 1: down the social media drain in general is the opposite
Speaker 1: of that. Even though I made it sound like that's
Speaker 1: what I was having. Well, I mean there's some good
Speaker 1: things on social media. I don't think it's all bad,
Speaker 1: and I think a lot of people are just reporting
Speaker 1: the facts as they should. But it's just like I
Speaker 1: do feel like you really have to monitor your media
Speaker 1: intake in general right now. Yeah, it's just how curated
Speaker 1: are your feeds? You know, I've got my Facebook feed
Speaker 1: is is the wild West, and so I don't touch
Speaker 1: it because it's thousands of people that I don't really know,
Speaker 1: and so I'm stressed for no reason. Whereas my Instagram
Speaker 1: is nice and tidy and focused and shallow in the
Speaker 1: number of shallow in that in that your shallow. I
Speaker 1: mute almost everybody so that I not because I don't
Speaker 1: want to know what's up with people, but so that
Speaker 1: I run out of stuff to look at quickly. And
Speaker 1: that's what that's what maintains my sanity. And then every
Speaker 1: once in a while I go through and I'll un
Speaker 1: mute people I miss, and I'll re mute people that
Speaker 1: I've seen a lot of. I do think since we've
Speaker 1: been here, I've I have I've never looked at social
Speaker 1: media less over such an extended period of time done it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I still feel crazy because it's like proportionately
Speaker 1: it's still sort of crazy online, but I don't like
Speaker 1: because I'm with the kids and I can't really look
Speaker 1: at it. And then when I'm working, I really need
Speaker 1: to focus on work because the news is so distracting,
Speaker 1: Like I just can't be on it as often, like
Speaker 1: just browsing things. It's too taxing right now. It's like
Speaker 1: it's just too emotionally exhausting to hear how badly everyone
Speaker 1: is doing um, And so yeah, I just can't and
Speaker 1: I think it's I feel good about trying to limit
Speaker 1: it to some degree. I still feel like I need
Speaker 1: to check in and not like completely become a hermit um.
Speaker 1: But our job right now is as as global citizens,
Speaker 1: is to like not jump the gun on anything, hunker
Speaker 1: down and literally get out of the way. And there's
Speaker 1: and if I get too far into it that I
Speaker 1: get that sense of like I should be doing something
Speaker 1: that's the in for the the most for the most part,
Speaker 1: that's the opposite. Well, I just I just want to
Speaker 1: be aware of what's happening two people in our home
Speaker 1: city of New York, where people are really suffering, Like
Speaker 1: I want to be tuned into the conversation and like, no,
Speaker 1: what's up? And um, you know, it's getting dangerous for
Speaker 1: people we know. And but I do think like our
Speaker 1: primary objective right now as parents is to take care
Speaker 1: of ourselves so that our children don't remember this as
Speaker 1: like a scary, traumatizing time where their parents were upset
Speaker 1: all the time. You know, Yeah, no, and I don't.
Speaker 1: I think they're having a great time. I did have
Speaker 1: my first like serious talk serio quote unquote serious, not serious,
Speaker 1: but very upfront talk with him about what was going on,
Speaker 1: because I took him to the dump. So here there's
Speaker 1: no garbage collection where we are, so we have to
Speaker 1: go to the dump or the the the transfer center
Speaker 1: and recycling center, and uh so I took Bryn. Obviously,
Speaker 1: I was like you have to stay in the car
Speaker 1: and he's like why. I'm like, well, we're all staying
Speaker 1: away from each other right now. And then that led
Speaker 1: to along conversation about all this, and that was the
Speaker 1: most like here's literally what's going on. Here's how dangerous
Speaker 1: it dangerous it is. We talked about people dying, and
Speaker 1: but I also let him know that he's you know,
Speaker 1: he's safe, he's low risk. And he had a lot
Speaker 1: of very thoughtful questions. He also told me, he goes, well,
Speaker 1: it's happening because um because Chinese people ate bats, right,
Speaker 1: And I was like what. And then you know, it's
Speaker 1: like they don't really know what the source of this was,
Speaker 1: but it could be from like people think, from animals
Speaker 1: and initiating in China, or bats or panguins or whatever.
Speaker 1: And I was like starting to get into the like, well,
Speaker 1: you don't want to just start saying Chinese people eat bats.
Speaker 1: That's you know, trying to get into racial sensitivities. And
Speaker 1: I was like, is this this is too complex? I
Speaker 1: feel like at his age sometimes you're better off changing
Speaker 1: the conversation rather than like creating an elaborate story around
Speaker 1: Chinese people in bats that he's going to continue to misinterpret. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's like I was like, well, we they we don't
Speaker 1: know what happened. He was like, my friend told me
Speaker 1: there's Chinese people eating bats. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: we don't know. And maybe somebody did, but obviously not
Speaker 1: all Chinese people are eating bats. And I was like,
Speaker 1: let's let's talk about statistics instead. Let's talk about statistics.
Speaker 1: I really was. I was like, listen, five year old son,
Speaker 1: let's talk about statistics. I talk about death rates instead
Speaker 1: of uh, you're talking about death rates. Not not really.
Speaker 1: I mean I did talk about how it's dangerous for
Speaker 1: certain people. He was very thoughtful. He's not scared, but
Speaker 1: he could sense. He could sense the gravity of the situation.
Speaker 1: What are we gonna do for episode one? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Listeners right in and tell us how should we celebrate
Speaker 1: in uh here at the end times um, And that's
Speaker 1: been our week. This next segment is called Listeners Want
Speaker 1: to Know. It's where we take questions comments from you guys.
Speaker 1: But first I'm going to adjust my chair loudly. I
Speaker 1: wasn't as loud as I thought it was going to be.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, okay, we got a lot of listener mail.
Speaker 1: You are all at home, you have thoughts, you have time,
Speaker 1: and so you are sharing. Thank you. UM. I think
Speaker 1: we're actually we're definitely going to be in an era
Speaker 1: where we can't get to as many emails as we'd
Speaker 1: like to, and an era we're getting more than the normal,
Speaker 1: which is great. Please keep sharing even if we don't
Speaker 1: we don't get your um. Great alright, So this email
Speaker 1: comes with from Craig question colon behavior um. This to
Speaker 1: me feels like ah, this is a British or maybe
Speaker 1: Canadian spelling of behavior b E H A v I O.
Speaker 1: You are behavior um. Not a criticism, just an observation.
Speaker 1: So I have a five year old girl, a two
Speaker 1: year old girl and a week old boy. Well, with
Speaker 1: these times of physical distancing, we are spending a lot
Speaker 1: of time in a smallish apartment together. My question is
Speaker 1: what do you guys do when your kid zero is
Speaker 1: in on a behavior and won't stop nor listening, nor
Speaker 1: listen to interruptions or change requests. My two year old
Speaker 1: has so many ideas in her head but often will
Speaker 1: not accept any deviation or distraction from those she focuses
Speaker 1: on in a moment, such as stealing the one book
Speaker 1: the five year old is trying to read, even though
Speaker 1: they are hundreds there are hundreds of books around. The
Speaker 1: two year old will retry after separation or break down
Speaker 1: into tantum rather than perform a different task with either parent.
Speaker 1: The five year old will ask the same question to
Speaker 1: the same thing over and over, regardless of what you
Speaker 1: just told her two minutes ago, even if it was yes,
Speaker 1: but wait five minutes. I'm struggling with being able to
Speaker 1: break into my kid's head during these moments, and find
Speaker 1: myself getting frustrated. Any suggestions are at least similar stories
Speaker 1: to share us. I don't feel like the only parent
Speaker 1: feeling like this. I've read some articles, but they seem
Speaker 1: focused on what not to do, which I can already
Speaker 1: check most of the list, and esoteric suggestions on what
Speaker 1: to strive for without ideas of actual things I could attempt.
Speaker 1: Love the show and quite enjoyed Beth's book As a
Speaker 1: Man as a Man, as it candidly let me further
Speaker 1: into a world I will never experience myself. Love Craig
Speaker 1: he didn't say love, but it is Craig. Thank you Craig.
Speaker 1: To answer your question, no, you're the only one. No
Speaker 1: one else has ever experienced any of those things. Just kidding.
Speaker 1: Only your kids are difficult. Boy. I related to everything
Speaker 1: you just said. I started to formulate an answer to
Speaker 1: what he was saying, and then he mentioned that one
Speaker 1: of the kids is two years old. And then I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, never mind, I don't think there's anything.
Speaker 1: There's no hope. You're living with an insane person. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't. Yeah, the two year old, we fall into
Speaker 1: the traps two and most of three, I feel like
Speaker 1: we fall into the trap of thinking they are more
Speaker 1: mature than they are, especially with the second kid. Like today,
Speaker 1: Maven was doing so like she was writing her letters
Speaker 1: and she was trying. She was asking me how to
Speaker 1: spell words, and she was writing the words backwards, and
Speaker 1: I had such an urge to be like, that's wrong.
Speaker 1: You need like you need to write in this direction.
Speaker 1: And then I remember that Brin, who was like almost
Speaker 1: two years older than her, I was probably doing the
Speaker 1: same thing like a few weeks ago, you know, like
Speaker 1: I just like I was like, I just you like
Speaker 1: expect so much of the Brinn wrote the end in
Speaker 1: his name backwards for a year because I pushed to
Speaker 1: correct him, and then he was like, fuck you, I'm
Speaker 1: doing it this way forever. Yeah. I think unfortunately with
Speaker 1: some of this stuff, I like, depending on the behavior, obviously,
Speaker 1: if it's like hitting or something, you have to have
Speaker 1: kind of harsh, consistent punishments. But um with other stuff,
Speaker 1: I do think, like when it's just like them arbitrary,
Speaker 1: like like picking an argument or re asking a question,
Speaker 1: I think the best thing you can do is like
Speaker 1: try to convince yourself that you don't care at all.
Speaker 1: But it just saying stop does not work. I mean
Speaker 1: with Bryn, who's nearing six, it's sometimes that is starting
Speaker 1: to work, where I just say don't brand stop, or
Speaker 1: it's the brand stop, or there's no ice cream. I'm
Speaker 1: going to counter three and like you can stop him
Speaker 1: that way. But any younger and it's it's the only
Speaker 1: time I'm successful is when I'm able to redirect. But
Speaker 1: I don't know, I think we have pretty stubborn kids.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying other kids people's kids are like easy
Speaker 1: all the time, but I do think like there's different
Speaker 1: demeanors and children where some people have, like a kid
Speaker 1: who follows directions. I mean, at the times I'm successful.
Speaker 1: Is the story Pirates model, which is, you know, when
Speaker 1: we're in a school and we're trying to get the
Speaker 1: attention of six screaming excited kids, we don't ever try
Speaker 1: to stop it. It's uh, the job is to always
Speaker 1: be more interesting than the thing they're interested in right
Speaker 1: now that's distracting them. So like the only time I've
Speaker 1: ever able to get maybe to calm down is like
Speaker 1: one don't get it in her way. She's upset, and
Speaker 1: I can tell that she's upset, so I need to
Speaker 1: let her calm down. And then when I come in,
Speaker 1: I'll just I just start looking at something across the room,
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, was there a spider in the corner.
Speaker 1: I don't know about you may even, but I'm ast
Speaker 1: afraid of spiders. I'm gonna go check. And then I'll
Speaker 1: fall down and pretend to hurt myself, and then she'll
Speaker 1: start laughing, and I'll do that ten more times until
Speaker 1: I know that she's truly forgotten what that first thing is.
Speaker 1: I also sometimes if they're arguing over something arbitrary lately,
Speaker 1: I'll just try to like talk about something more interesting
Speaker 1: or exciting that they want. Yeah it is. I mean
Speaker 1: it's you if I can trick them into thinking I
Speaker 1: have completely not heard anything that they're complaining about, and
Speaker 1: then I'm like, oh my god, I think there's a
Speaker 1: horshoe crab outside. I'm gonna go. Look, they'll follow you.
Speaker 1: But if you're like, guys, stop fighting, you know what
Speaker 1: we should do, Let's do something else. They know that
Speaker 1: you're trying to redirect them and it doesn't work as well.
Speaker 1: But I just like ignore them and then redirected, and again,
Speaker 1: this is like my my batting average is probably i'll
Speaker 1: say somewhat related. Something I'm realizing in the age of
Speaker 1: coronavirus is that I need to wear headphones more often
Speaker 1: when I'm trying to do anything or work or just
Speaker 1: like not feel insane because there's always so much noise
Speaker 1: and like arguing happening about like things that I don't
Speaker 1: need to be interested in, Like I don't need to
Speaker 1: care about the outcome of like who's allowed to read
Speaker 1: the book? You know. So it's like I really need
Speaker 1: to find some new coping mechanisms to like not be
Speaker 1: tuned in. I'll tell you my mind, is AirPods bro
Speaker 1: those noise cancelation you have it? Does? It was expensive?
Speaker 1: It's expensive. I paid for it quality purchase. I think
Speaker 1: regular headphones are also equally good. Hey, I'm not I'm
Speaker 1: not dissing anyone else's headphones. I'm just a love in mind.
Speaker 1: Right now, a lot of people will probably be purchasing
Speaker 1: noise canceling headphones in the near future. People are purchasing
Speaker 1: a lot of things. Read some just a headline where
Speaker 1: it's like Walmart or some online retailer is selling disproportionately
Speaker 1: far more shirts right now than pants because everyone's going
Speaker 1: to work on Zoom, Yeah, and they just need shirt. Well.
Speaker 1: I also say I read somewhere that like delivery people
Speaker 1: are operating at like Christmas time level of purchases, so
Speaker 1: they're like working a lot, and it's like people need
Speaker 1: to tone down a little bit with the purchases because
Speaker 1: you're putting delivery people at risk to have them working
Speaker 1: so much. Uh So, but we also need stuff. Well yeah,
Speaker 1: it's also just I think we I am trying to
Speaker 1: like tone down the non essential purchases because I mean, granted,
Speaker 1: we've purchased a lot because we are in a home
Speaker 1: that is not ours. But um, I'm trying not to
Speaker 1: like jump on every like you know. I think like
Speaker 1: we're all kind of going to our coping mechanisms right now,
Speaker 1: which is like food and alcohol and TV and like
Speaker 1: retail therapy is a real thing that I think we
Speaker 1: all do to some extent um if we can afford it.
Speaker 1: And I think it's like it's I'm trying not to
Speaker 1: follow that urge or like today I would like look
Speaker 1: at I would browse like sweatpants online and I put
Speaker 1: it in the car and then I go to a
Speaker 1: different store and put something in the cart there and
Speaker 1: then I just closed all the tabs. It was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not I was like, I don't need this. Boy,
Speaker 1: I've never had that problem. I just like was fantasizing
Speaker 1: about like all the comfy outfits that could be wearing
Speaker 1: right now. I mean, if you're gonna do it, put
Speaker 1: it all in one big cart. Well That's what I
Speaker 1: was trying to do. But ultimately I didn't really find
Speaker 1: a store that was satisfying, so I just gave up.
Speaker 1: You m Yeah, but it was fun. Okay, I know
Speaker 1: this is listeners one who knows, but we're gonna do
Speaker 1: one quick. We knows what they look like. Because by
Speaker 1: the way, we're still getting a lot of baby picks,
Speaker 1: and we love we love them, We love all of them.
Speaker 1: We've now hit the saturation point where we can't do
Speaker 1: our our weird live reaction to your baby fotus, but
Speaker 1: we're gonna keep doing some just because I need to
Speaker 1: show bath this picture. This is from jen baby Pick.
Speaker 1: How to share this one of my son Atticus this
Speaker 1: first time taking a bath in the sink. He was
Speaker 1: a huge newborn of German ancestry. Enjoy ready, Beth, we're
Speaker 1: closer together, so I can just show you one, two three,
Speaker 1: first time in the sink. Oh my gosh, His little
Speaker 1: scared brownie mouth is so cute. He has a look
Speaker 1: on his face that says, why are you doing this?
Speaker 1: He's the wide eyed pure terror. He's like, why am
Speaker 1: I wet? I thought I thought I had trust in you?
Speaker 1: What is this? That is terror? That was beautiful, But
Speaker 1: there's still it's not. That's so cute. You know what.
Speaker 1: We got a lot more listener mail, so we're going
Speaker 1: to take a quick break and then I come back
Speaker 1: with more listeners. Want of those. Now it's time for
Speaker 1: more listeners want to know? So many listeners they got
Speaker 1: to knows so little time, so much listening. That's not true.
Speaker 1: We have a lot of time these days. This email
Speaker 1: comes to us from Sarah. Great subject line how important
Speaker 1: is preschool really? Hi, Beth and Peter Ignoring the current
Speaker 1: pandemic parenting anxiety and choosing to be anxious about more
Speaker 1: normal parenting issues. I have a listeners want to know
Speaker 1: this question for you. My eldest just turned three, and
Speaker 1: I suddenly started panicking about preschool, which I never spent
Speaker 1: a single second thinking about before. We live in rural
Speaker 1: Ish Virginia, and all the public preschool programs around here
Speaker 1: are only for at risk students. The only private preschools
Speaker 1: I can find within an hour here are through churches.
Speaker 1: But we aren't at all religious, So is preschool all
Speaker 1: that important? I don't remember going when I was a
Speaker 1: kid name for my husband. Our son is pretty smart already.
Speaker 1: He knows his colors and shapes and alphabet and count
Speaker 1: and count to twenty. He learns new things all the time. Somehow,
Speaker 1: I swear I don't know how or should we send
Speaker 1: him to a Christian preschool? And try to dodge slash
Speaker 1: tastefully respond to the inevitable questions about religion and faith
Speaker 1: that we're in no position to answer. Thanks for the
Speaker 1: hours of excellent contact content. Sarah ps sharing a picture
Speaker 1: of my babies just for the heck of it, beth
Speaker 1: Ready one, two three. Oh yeah, that's an almost naked
Speaker 1: baby and a diaper very cute, and a toddler pool
Speaker 1: very cute. I love the matching colors on that shirt.
Speaker 1: And anyway, anyway, is it that important? Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm ignorant to the like nuances of religious
Speaker 1: pre schools in Virginia, but um, I do think like
Speaker 1: daycare is often not that far off from preschool in
Speaker 1: terms of structure and learning opportunities. And similarly, if you're
Speaker 1: just keeping him at home, I think if you're doing
Speaker 1: anything remotely educational, it's the same level. I do. I
Speaker 1: think the value of preschool is socialization. Yeah, I'll take
Speaker 1: back I mean, I'm going to take back my you know,
Speaker 1: my flippant no, because it's it's not across the board. No,
Speaker 1: it's Preschool is a huge advantage in a lot of situations,
Speaker 1: but not everyone's situation is is the same. I think
Speaker 1: like preschool is a huge advantage in terms of people's
Speaker 1: ability to like, you know, go back to work and like,
Speaker 1: you know, for like the average American who you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. But, um, but if your child is
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, if your child is just turning three,
Speaker 1: are about to turn three, and knows all of his
Speaker 1: letters and numbers up to twenty in shapes and colors,
Speaker 1: then content wise, he's doing great. He doesn't need school.
Speaker 1: There is a benefit to the social aspect of things. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, and if there's like if there's some daycare,
Speaker 1: if he's around kids at all, then yeah, great. I
Speaker 1: think also, like some preschools, the hours are like it's
Speaker 1: like two hours a day, twice a week or something.
Speaker 1: And I think you could get similar benefits if you
Speaker 1: want to like a library sing along and sign him
Speaker 1: up for like a soccer class, you know, like just
Speaker 1: a couple of chances for him to interact with other kids.
Speaker 1: You know, I think that would be helpful. Um. But
Speaker 1: but if but I don't, Yeah, he's gonna be fine
Speaker 1: if you don't do any of those things. I mean.
Speaker 1: The fact that you clearly, um, you you are asking
Speaker 1: the right questions, you have the right concerns you are articulate, smart,
Speaker 1: seemingly educated parents, so that you're doing a great respect
Speaker 1: of it. Your child has a leg up and is covered.
Speaker 1: There are some kids who don't have that advantage, in
Speaker 1: which case younger having preschool at a younger age is
Speaker 1: like a major benefit. Um. But from the very little
Speaker 1: I know about you, which is you know this well
Speaker 1: written email, um, uh, you're fine. This is the kind
Speaker 1: of thing where I think, like we uh, when we
Speaker 1: look back on a child's life to their toddler years
Speaker 1: and around there, I don't like, these are the kind
Speaker 1: of decisions that I think have very little bearing on
Speaker 1: who the person becomes. So we're going through a big
Speaker 1: I don't know if we're talking abou this last week,
Speaker 1: but so our kids are out of school obviously we've
Speaker 1: talked about that a lot, and we're trying to move
Speaker 1: to Brooklyn and that's you know, probably going to get delayed. Uh.
Speaker 1: Um as are you know, for a lot of reasons,
Speaker 1: and so you know, we might not be able to
Speaker 1: move before the school year starts. And so if we
Speaker 1: stay where we are, I haven't registered Maven for pre
Speaker 1: ka um, and I'm like, you know what, it's fine,
Speaker 1: They'll probably be room. And if there's not, she's fine.
Speaker 1: We've learned how to do school. Yeah, I mean, I
Speaker 1: will say, like, if you had asked me like a
Speaker 1: month ago about the idea of starting them in school
Speaker 1: in the middle of the school year in Brooklyn, I
Speaker 1: would have been like pretty stressed out about it. But
Speaker 1: at this point, so many things have gone off the rails.
Speaker 1: I don't pandemic has really moved the goal post. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't like that. No longer feels like a pressing concern. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And at this age again though, if you know, if
Speaker 1: my kids were twelve, I would be a lot more
Speaker 1: stressed about Yeah. I mean, you know whatever, even then,
Speaker 1: those kids are resilient, they survive. I'm not worried about
Speaker 1: them surviving being out of school. But but yeah, three boy,
Speaker 1: this is a this is a good time for a
Speaker 1: weird interruption to education. Yeah, um, all right, next one ready.
Speaker 1: This is a part of a similar theme Pandamonium. This
Speaker 1: comes from Casey. Hey, Bethan Peter, long time listener, First time, right,
Speaker 1: you're here. My name is Casey and I'm from Saskatchewan, Canada.
Speaker 1: I'm currently working as a nurse at an acute care hospital.
Speaker 1: Things have been super crazy. They're lots of policy and procedure,
Speaker 1: lots of emptying out, emptying up the hospital, awaiting the
Speaker 1: surge as as has been called. When I'm off work,
Speaker 1: I'm now a teacher of my two daughters, Ruby eight
Speaker 1: and Hazel five. My husband works residential construction, which is
Speaker 1: considered essential, so we are both working full time and
Speaker 1: calling on my parents to help support us a day
Speaker 1: or two a week to help with the kids. Controversial.
Speaker 1: I know the constant caretaker role is taking some adjustment,
Speaker 1: as I had just reached this uh sweet sweet place
Speaker 1: of having days off during the week with both kids
Speaker 1: in school, which had improved my mental health status to
Speaker 1: somewhat stable question mark prior to this pandemic. For schooling,
Speaker 1: we started off with a schedule which included worksheets, outdoor play,
Speaker 1: arts slash creative stuff, and learning apps. Some days we
Speaker 1: are nailing it and sometimes we don't. I admire your
Speaker 1: different styles of schooling, and it sounds like Daddy's school,
Speaker 1: coupled with the more open nature based learning, will compliment
Speaker 1: the learning slash teaching styles of everyone, which seems crucial
Speaker 1: to sanity today. In quote unquote, Mammy school, my kids
Speaker 1: bailed on worksheets in favor of sweeping up the dirt
Speaker 1: in the alley, giving me an allergy attack. I had
Speaker 1: to sleep for a night shift to sound my life,
Speaker 1: I had to sleep for a night shift tonight. So
Speaker 1: they watched two hours of television and eight snacks while
Speaker 1: I tried to sleep. My youngest daughter, Hazel did self
Speaker 1: explore did did self explore some math at lunch, where
Speaker 1: she discovered that one apple plus one apple equals butt cheeks.
Speaker 1: See photo below a very cute little girl holding two
Speaker 1: apples together and smiling as the together they make a
Speaker 1: butt Thanks for adding so much laughter and empathy to
Speaker 1: these crazy weeks, and good luck and managing all the
Speaker 1: hats all at once while trying to function as an
Speaker 1: autonomous professional at work. We're all doing the best we can,
Speaker 1: and humor is the key to making it through. Alive.
Speaker 1: Casies from Saskatchewan. Here's the picture, Beth. That's so great, Casey.
Speaker 1: Sounds like you're doing a great job through all of this.
Speaker 1: Thank you for this email. Um, I'm glad to hear
Speaker 1: from someone who's trying to, like, actually do their jobs
Speaker 1: and have to leave the house and deal with all
Speaker 1: this because that's a whole other stress that we're not
Speaker 1: having to deal with right now. Um, And I what
Speaker 1: she was saying about the how it's controversial to be
Speaker 1: using her parents as help right now, I gotta I
Speaker 1: have to say, like, everyone needs to get through this
Speaker 1: the way they have to get through this, and there's
Speaker 1: no judgment from us on how you need to do that.
Speaker 1: I know, we've all got our own economic concerns and
Speaker 1: health concerns and otherwise. It's also, you know, there's we
Speaker 1: can't expect. Uh, you know, the entire healthcare system right
Speaker 1: now needs everybody, right and there's a yeah, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of parents who are working in various industries that
Speaker 1: we need right now. It's a great example of, uh,
Speaker 1: the sacrifices that people are making for everybody else. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I know someone whose husband is a doctor and she
Speaker 1: is pregnant with a toddler, and her husband has chosen
Speaker 1: to live away from her right now to protect her
Speaker 1: from the virus. But then she's dealing with her own
Speaker 1: nightmare of parenting a toddler solo through all this while
Speaker 1: she tries to do her job, Like anyway, It's it's
Speaker 1: really a dumb joke, but the way you said it
Speaker 1: made it sound like she was pregnant with a toddler.
Speaker 1: Like she's not pregnant with a toddler. She's like, I'm
Speaker 1: just not having this baby until the pandemic is over.
Speaker 1: So with the toddler now, which is fine, no rush,
Speaker 1: no rush is our priest will know, no rush to
Speaker 1: have the child be born. It's always funny to have
Speaker 1: these like pandemic type conversations with people who aren't parents,
Speaker 1: because people will say things to you where they're like, well,
Speaker 1: I shouldn't get pregnant now, no one should bring a
Speaker 1: child into this and you're like, well, some of us
Speaker 1: already are. Life is going on, like you like, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's very like it's so interesting, so trying to you know,
Speaker 1: I actually have a lot of work these days with
Speaker 1: story parts, and I'm trying to organize actors from their apartments,
Speaker 1: and there is a huge difference between the availability of
Speaker 1: people without kids and people with kids. Yeah, and well,
Speaker 1: people without kids will start to have conversations with you
Speaker 1: or like people who have less, you know, like maybe
Speaker 1: their job is not happening right now or whatever, and
Speaker 1: they just have all this time to kill and You're
Speaker 1: like meanwhile, you're trying to like homeschool kids and do
Speaker 1: your job and all these things. You're like, I can't
Speaker 1: just have this conversation casually, like we need to get
Speaker 1: to the point. Like I emailed story pirates who I
Speaker 1: know don't have children, and I was like, are you
Speaker 1: available for a thing tomorrow? And within ten minutes everyone
Speaker 1: was like available. And the few parents that I've emailed
Speaker 1: I have still not emailed me back. And I don't
Speaker 1: blame them because they've got less time to do work. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: like I a couple of weeks ago, I had a
Speaker 1: when we were first trying to get settled here and
Speaker 1: we didn't didn't have a schedule. I had a conference
Speaker 1: call I was supposed to be on that I just
Speaker 1: didn't call into, Like I just like got so sidetracked
Speaker 1: by these children. Um, and it's just like there's stuff
Speaker 1: like that. And I was like, I was on a
Speaker 1: conference call this week with three other moms and it
Speaker 1: was just like one person was late to the call
Speaker 1: because her kid fell off a trampoline, and then one
Speaker 1: person had their kids like me in the background, like
Speaker 1: another person had their kid come talk to them, Like
Speaker 1: it was just like did I was supposed to call
Speaker 1: into so the Story Privates Radio daily daily at eleven am.
Speaker 1: Check it out. But h I periodically have called into
Speaker 1: the show, um, and I was supposed to on Saturday,
Speaker 1: but you and I got in a fight and I
Speaker 1: got mad and I stormed out and I went for
Speaker 1: a long walk and I didn't bring my phone. And
Speaker 1: when I got back to the house, I had forty
Speaker 1: texts from Lee saying I'm calling you in I announced
Speaker 1: you Everyone's waiting for Peter and I was like, oh no,
Speaker 1: I missed my live appearance on Story Pirates Radio, which
Speaker 1: was was real bad. It was real bad. I mean,
Speaker 1: when do I ever leave my phone? And I left
Speaker 1: my phone. I was like, I feel so free. You
Speaker 1: have never in your life left your phone. I mean,
Speaker 1: how how often am I truly away with my phone?
Speaker 1: It's kind of groundbreaking. It was great. And then I
Speaker 1: came back and I was like, I'll never leave my
Speaker 1: phone again. I'm trying to through this, get better at
Speaker 1: like walking away from my computer, like because we have
Speaker 1: we both have these work schedules and then and we're
Speaker 1: taking shifts and sometimes I'm with the kids and I
Speaker 1: have to just like try to achieve this news and
Speaker 1: where I'm like, I'm getting emails and messages and questions
Speaker 1: from people and I just need to not care and
Speaker 1: they're just going to have to wait, you know, like
Speaker 1: it's just like how urgent could anything be. I have
Speaker 1: to constantly remind myself, like, you are a comedy writer,
Speaker 1: and no one is going to die because you don't
Speaker 1: reply to this question right now. I got an email
Speaker 1: from my agent tonight a S A P voiceover audition,
Speaker 1: and it was like, right in the middle of making dinner,
Speaker 1: my my shift with the kids was on, and I
Speaker 1: was like, A S A P. What does that mean?
Speaker 1: I gotta record a podcast? And I was like, can
Speaker 1: I do this in the morning. She's like, yes, do
Speaker 1: by one pm tomorrow. I was like, Oh, Normally I'd
Speaker 1: be freak out about it and I have to do
Speaker 1: it immediately. But now I'm like, there they're saying a
Speaker 1: SAP on account of like the other clients that are
Speaker 1: like twenty two and they're just zoom calling everyone all night.
Speaker 1: You know, they're just not going to sleep because the
Speaker 1: zoom all kids in the zooms, um, anybody going to
Speaker 1: zoom date. I want to hear about it. My sister
Speaker 1: has been zoom dating. My brother's been zoom dating. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is kind of like their love is blind, except
Speaker 1: they can see, except they're not blind. Love is as
Speaker 1: no techtile, love can't smell. Brian had a really good
Speaker 1: joke tonight where you were like, I haven't showered in
Speaker 1: two days, and brand goes, I think you mean two years.
Speaker 1: And with that that's been another episode of We Knows Parenting. Hey,
Speaker 1: if you want more stuff for your kids, please check
Speaker 1: out story Prides dot com. We got story Prides Radio
Speaker 1: Live every day to love They Am Sorry, Price University
Speaker 1: where they can learn some creative writing techniques at thirty uh,
Speaker 1: start a creator Club membership, visit the podcast. A lot
Speaker 1: of great stuff for kids. That's my gift to you.
Speaker 1: Buy my book for someone you know who is pregnant.
Speaker 1: There's no manual, honest and gory wisdom about having a baby.
Speaker 1: Can they get digital copies? They can. You can get
Speaker 1: the audio book or the Kindle version wherever books are sold.
Speaker 1: Email us said we knows Pot at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: We want to hear how you are doing, or leave
Speaker 1: us a voicemail at three four seven three eight four
Speaker 1: seven three nine six. We'd love to hear your children
Speaker 1: yelling in the background. Uh. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, we knows.
Speaker 1: Pod rate review, leave us a review. Stay safe out there,
Speaker 1: Wash your hands, stay home your face. You're doing great.
Speaker 1: You're doing a good job, even if you didn't do
Speaker 1: any home school this week. Bye bye,