Speaker 1: It's another Jebile phone frame Mornings on the twenties. Hello.
Speaker 2: Hello, this is Artemis Noir. I was looking for Josie's mom,
Speaker 2: Mary Beth. Yes, sir, Greetings Mary Beth. I'm sure you've
Speaker 2: heard of me, you know.
Speaker 3: Actually I'm not familiar.
Speaker 1: Who What are you related to, Artemis Noir.
Speaker 2: I'm the drama teacher at middle school, and your daughter
Speaker 2: Josie has gone out for the lead role in my play.
Speaker 1: Yes, she has, yes, and I'm.
Speaker 2: Calling to speak with you before I let her know
Speaker 2: the big news. Okay, After careful, careful, careful consideration, I
Speaker 2: am deciding to go with your daughter Josie as the
Speaker 2: lead in Charlotte's Web, The Revenge of Wilbur.
Speaker 3: Oh, my gosh, wait, the Revenge of Wilbur.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's my artistic take on Charlotte's Web. I think
Speaker 2: it's so pedestrian when middle schools and elementary schools and
Speaker 2: high schools just rip somebody else's play and do that.
Speaker 2: So I've written my own version of it. It's Charlotte's Web,
Speaker 2: The Revenge of Wilbur. It's a classic farmyard tale that
Speaker 2: takes a turn when Wilburt becomes obsessed and vengeful seeking
Speaker 2: justice for Charlotte's death instead of peaceful farm animals, which
Speaker 2: is so boring. It's gritty, and Wilbert teams up with
Speaker 2: a sleazy rooster and it's a suspiciously sinister spider plotting
Speaker 2: to take down the farm owners in a full out
Speaker 2: barnyard revolution. My tagline for it, you haven't heard it yet.
Speaker 2: My tagline for it is you mess with the web,
Speaker 2: you get.
Speaker 1: The hoofs.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, And so I'm going to need her to
Speaker 2: method act a bit. There is a lot of cursing
Speaker 2: written into the script, so I'm going to ask for
Speaker 2: your approval. You yes, let you be able to curse
Speaker 2: around the house, use it, you know, four letter words
Speaker 2: here and there.
Speaker 3: Well, no, that's not going to work.
Speaker 2: Well, I thought you were a supportive parent who wanted
Speaker 2: her to have the lead in my play.
Speaker 3: I mean, this is crazy though, Like I feel like
Speaker 3: I'm going to need to have a conversation with the
Speaker 3: principal because you know, we worked really hard on the material.
Speaker 3: She's going to be excited, but there's no way she's
Speaker 3: going to be swearing around the house. I mean that's
Speaker 3: I also need.
Speaker 2: Her to start researching roles in order to get inspiration
Speaker 2: for her character. And I'm going to use her to
Speaker 2: watch the movie's Scarface at least three times a day.
Speaker 3: Excuse me, She's a middle school student. Why do you
Speaker 3: think it's appropriate for a middle school student to be
Speaker 3: watching Scarface for a production of Charlotte's Web. This is
Speaker 3: making absolutely no sense. And I feel like, not only
Speaker 3: is this idiotic, but it's also it's dangerous. They don't
Speaker 3: take a classic of Charlotte's Web and change it into
Speaker 3: something ridiculous.
Speaker 1: This is classic.
Speaker 2: I honestly to say, it's so boring, the regular Charlotte's
Speaker 2: Web boring, Yes.
Speaker 1: Said New York.
Speaker 3: Literally, we've been reading it every week, and.
Speaker 1: To be setting New York City as.
Speaker 3: Well, New York City, okay.
Speaker 1: The gritty streets of Brooklyn.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I'm going to have to talk to Josie's dad.
Speaker 3: I'm going to have to make a call to the principal.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, then fine, I guess she does not get
Speaker 2: any roles in the play. Then I was going to
Speaker 2: cast her as the lead, but apparently her mother's not
Speaker 2: willing to commit.
Speaker 3: I it's not that I'm not willing to commit, it's fat.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to have her be part of this
Speaker 3: ridiculous production. It's just crazy. Well, what did you say?
Speaker 3: Your name was again?
Speaker 1: Artemis Noir?
Speaker 3: Artemis Noir. Okay, that sounds made up legitimately, like what
Speaker 3: do you Shakespeare?
Speaker 2: No, Shakespeare was attack as far as I'm concerned, And yes,
Speaker 2: it is made up.
Speaker 1: It's the name that I gave myself.
Speaker 3: Okay, my daughter's not watching Scarface, She's not going to
Speaker 3: be swearing around the house. And I'm going to have
Speaker 3: to make a call to the principle and talk about
Speaker 3: get you fired because this is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Well fine, then I'll just let you know this is
Speaker 1: a prank phone call. Oh god, this is actually Jubil.
Speaker 2: From the Jubil Show doing a phone prank on you
Speaker 2: and your husband set you up.
Speaker 1: Oh lord, it's a joke.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, my blooded boiling.
Speaker 2: He said that you've been helping your daughter get ready
Speaker 2: for a role in the school play and wanted to
Speaker 2: mess with you. Oh.
Speaker 3: I could not believe someone was going to make Charlotte's
Speaker 3: Love into a murdering Yeah. I can't.
Speaker 1: Wake up every morning with Jubile phone pranks. We say
Speaker 1: mornings on the twenties,