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Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the

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Speaker 1: Height and Mighty Tour. I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,

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Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,

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Speaker 1: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,

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Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,

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Speaker 1: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modeesto, California, and

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Speaker 1: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.

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Speaker 2: I will be touring.

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Speaker 1: From February through June, So go get your tickets now.

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Speaker 1: If you want good seats and you want to come

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Speaker 1: see me perform, I will be on the High and

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Speaker 1: Mighty Tour.

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Speaker 2: Hello Hi Catherine, Oh Hi Chelsea.

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Speaker 1: I'm on the heels of taking my adventure on the road.

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Speaker 1: I'm heading to Ance, Arctica in the morning, and that

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Speaker 1: is not a joke.

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Speaker 2: I have three flights.

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Speaker 1: I'm fly through Houston, Buenos Aires and then Patagonia, and

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Speaker 1: then I bored my barco and travel across Drake's Passage.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I heard that that is like the

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Speaker 3: choppiest water in the planet.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 4: I have anti NAJA pills.

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Speaker 2: Well I okay, well this is what and I'm knocking

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Speaker 2: on it.

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Speaker 1: I have never had motion sickness, right, I mean not

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Speaker 1: unless a lot of you know, drugs are alcohol were involved.

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Speaker 2: Which well they will be.

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Speaker 1: But I'm a very good seaworthy person, so I don't

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Speaker 1: think I will. But I am bringing it just in case,

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Speaker 1: because this is going to be serious.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I will say the scopolamine patches can make your

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Speaker 3: vision a.

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Speaker 4: Little bit blurry.

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Speaker 2: Well we got dramamine.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, all right, so is that I don't know

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Speaker 3: that will make your vision blurry? I don't pay yeah,

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Speaker 3: but if you do have to upgrade discopolamine patches, just

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Speaker 3: cut it in half it we'll make your vision so blurry.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Well, my vision is typically blurry.

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Speaker 1: I mean think think about everything I'm putting in my

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Speaker 1: body also because of.

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Speaker 4: The drugs and alcohol.

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Speaker 2: Drugs and alcohol.

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Speaker 1: So yes, I will be in Antarctica doing LSD with

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Speaker 1: penguins and everyone will see me when I return.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure the penguins will make you a changed woman.

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Speaker 1: So. Emily Herrington is the first woman to free climb

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Speaker 1: the Golden Gate route on El Capitan in under twenty

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Speaker 1: four hours. She is a five time US national champion climber,

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Speaker 1: has summited Mount Everest and skied most of the eight

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Speaker 1: thousand meter peaks. Her new documentary is called Girl Climber

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Speaker 1: and it's out now. Please welcome Emily Harrington.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Emily, Hi, good morning, top of the morning to you.

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Speaker 2: Are you on a mountain peak as we speak to

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Speaker 2: you right now?

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Speaker 4: No? No, I'm in Tahoe.

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Speaker 1: I had to watch your movie twice because, oh really,

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Speaker 1: I couldn't believe it the first time, so I had

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Speaker 1: to watch it again.

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Speaker 2: I had to rewatch it.

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Speaker 1: It's called Girl Climber and it will be available for

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Speaker 1: everybody to stream. It's out on Jolts right now, and

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Speaker 1: then it comes on some streaming.

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Speaker 2: Platforms I believe. Correct.

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Speaker 1: Yes, okay, so let's talk about you and your peaks.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: First of all, how are you doing now? You have

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Speaker 1: a baby, You're married. I feel like your energy and

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Speaker 1: ambition has probably recalibrated a little bit.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that's a very accurate statement.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I've had some life changes since the movie, all good things,

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Speaker 5: but yeah, just you know, different, different challenging and yeah,

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Speaker 5: energy sapping energy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah right.

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Speaker 1: Well, first of all, congratulations on being the first woman

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Speaker 1: to climb El Capitan the Golden Gate.

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Speaker 2: You did that in less than twenty four hours.

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Speaker 1: You also climbed Mount Everest when you were twenty five

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Speaker 1: years old, So it's like, I don't know where to begin.

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Speaker 1: Let's begin there since that happened first. You did that

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Speaker 1: without really any training. You went and climbed Mount Everest

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Speaker 1: with a group of people, left your Shirpa and the

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Speaker 1: dust because he couldn't keep up with you.

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Speaker 2: So talk to us.

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Speaker 1: About that decision and about how one decides to do

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Speaker 1: something like that without the proper quote unquote training. I

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Speaker 1: don't say quote unquote because you do fucking need training to.

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Speaker 4: Do that, right, ice climbing and all.

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Speaker 5: That, Yes you do, and you know, yeah, without specific training,

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Speaker 5: but you have to remember that I've been a rock

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Speaker 5: climber since the age of ten.

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Speaker 2: But that's not nice snow though, is that? I mean?

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Speaker 6: No?

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Speaker 5: But I also grew up skiing, and then you know,

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Speaker 5: in my early twenties, I started kind of diversifying my

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Speaker 5: climbing and I learned how to ice climb. I actually

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Speaker 5: like one an ice climbing competition like earlier that year,

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Speaker 5: so I had like started acquiring the skills. I would say,

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Speaker 5: I just didn't have very much altitude experience, which I

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Speaker 5: think is is very important for something like Mount Everest.

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Speaker 5: But thankfully it all worked out. Well, yeah, it did

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Speaker 5: work out. Tell us about it, though.

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Speaker 1: I mean, there was this there's a great scene in

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Speaker 1: the movie where you're stuck at the tent with your

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Speaker 1: girlfriend who has since sadly passed away in an hour lanche.

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Speaker 1: Which but as you were, as you were talking about

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Speaker 1: climbing Mount Everest, there's a part of it where there

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Speaker 1: are like five avalanches a day that happen and you

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Speaker 1: have to just kind of time it right so that

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Speaker 1: you don't get caught in one. I mean that sounds

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Speaker 1: absolutely fucking crazy.

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Speaker 5: I think, to you know, the lay person, it might

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Speaker 5: be a bit insane. Mount Everest is a very interesting place.

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Speaker 5: I've learned a lot since being there myself. I think

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Speaker 5: as a young twenty five year old, I was pretty naive.

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Speaker 5: Now I'm married to a mountain guyde who goes to

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Speaker 5: Mount Everest every year, so have quite a different perspective

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Speaker 5: on it. But yeah, it was a wild experience. It

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Speaker 5: taught me a lot.

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Speaker 2: It is.

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Speaker 5: It was a radical departure from anything that I was

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Speaker 5: used to in my climbing. You know, Mount Everest is

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Speaker 5: walking up a big snowy hill for a very long

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Speaker 5: period of time with this like excruciating suffering of high altitude.

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Speaker 5: It's not technically difficult like I was used to in

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Speaker 5: rock climbing, so those types of skills are actually quite

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Speaker 5: easy for me. But at the same time, there was

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Speaker 5: there was a lot of suffering. There was a lot

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Speaker 5: of what we call type two fun, which is like

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Speaker 5: the in hindsight looking back, like, oh that was actually

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Speaker 5: pretty cool, even though I was fucking miserable the whole time.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, it was it was a really I think

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Speaker 5: it was a valuable experience. It changed my entire life

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Speaker 5: because that was where I did meet my husband, So

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Speaker 5: I have a lot to thank for Everest.

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Speaker 1: That's not good advice for our listeners. That's how you

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Speaker 1: meet your soulmate climbing Mount Everest. Because I mean, how

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Speaker 1: many people are going to be able to just whip

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Speaker 1: it out and do that when you're doing these things,

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Speaker 1: because like I think a through line of this movie

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Speaker 1: is your fear, you not your fearlessness. It's pushing beyond

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Speaker 1: your fear, and it's it's about it's about really kind

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Speaker 1: of get the adrenaline that comes from beating your fear

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Speaker 1: and moving past any sort of boundaries that we may

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Speaker 1: set for ourselves, and also committing to the pain of it. Right,

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Speaker 1: the pain is a side It's kind of almost a

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Speaker 1: side notion. It's like that's part of the process to

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Speaker 1: get where you're going. Was kind of one of my

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Speaker 1: takeaways from watching this is that a you wanted to

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Speaker 1: be up there, like, you know, you don't want to

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Speaker 1: be thought less than as a woman, because women are

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Speaker 1: you say this in the beginning of the film infurior

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Speaker 1: or thought to be inferior physically to men, and you

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Speaker 1: wanted to prove that that's not necessarily true, correct.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I think more than anything, I wanted to

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Speaker 5: prove something to myself. And I think throughout that journey

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Speaker 5: on Golden Gate it became more evident that it was

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Speaker 5: much more an internal struggle than an external sess. That said,

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Speaker 5: I do think the film did a really nice job

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Speaker 5: of kind of like expressing these more feminine characteristics of vulnerability,

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Speaker 5: of expressing fear, crying, showing emotion, and it kind of,

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Speaker 5: you know, a lot of these things that are perceived

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Speaker 5: of as weaknesses, I think the film does a really

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Speaker 5: nice job of kind of revealing those things as strengths.

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Speaker 5: I was very vulnerable. I was very honest about my

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Speaker 5: fears and my struggles and my failures. But I think

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Speaker 5: think a lot of those things are what eventually enabled

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Speaker 5: me to be successful, because I did become comfortable sitting

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Speaker 5: in those spaces of fear and struggle and failure, And

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Speaker 5: I think those are pretty important human experiences to have

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Speaker 5: that a lot of us just don't get to have

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Speaker 5: in daily life. We don't get to confront those uncomfortable

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Speaker 5: things very often.

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Speaker 1: The movie starts out with you attempting El Capitan with

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Speaker 1: Alex Hunnold, who we all know from Free Solo, and

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Speaker 1: you kind of weren't really as prepared as you would

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Speaker 1: want to have been. And then then you go back

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Speaker 1: again the next year, you do more training, and then

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Speaker 1: you train on Al Capitan and then you make a third,

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Speaker 1: you make your next attempt, right, So it's kind of

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Speaker 1: like how do you frame those periods of time that

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Speaker 1: were in the movie from the beginning to the end,

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Speaker 1: Like when you look at that, do you think, oh,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't prepared enough?

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Speaker 2: Like do you accept that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Absolutely, Like I think that first attempt, I actually knew

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Speaker 5: that I wasn't prepared. But sometimes you need to kind

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Speaker 5: of like try the thing in order to figure out

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Speaker 5: what you need to do. Differently, like you have to

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Speaker 5: go fail in order to find out what needs to

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Speaker 5: change and what you need to improve upon. And so

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Speaker 5: for me, that attempt was actually just I didn't really

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Speaker 5: expect to be successful. Like the weather didn't look good,

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Speaker 5: the season was really tough, the entire wall was wet,

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Speaker 5: Like the odds of success were pretty slim. But it

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Speaker 5: was like I need to go try to kind of

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Speaker 5: like see where I'm at and see where my fitness

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Speaker 5: is and see the weak points so that I can

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Speaker 5: like go back and train and then I can come

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Speaker 5: back and be better. So you kind of have to

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Speaker 5: go I had to go fail in order to like

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Speaker 5: figure out what to.

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Speaker 3: Do, almost like a dry run, right as a job

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Speaker 3: and to be fair, you got like a way run

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Speaker 3: and hailed off the side of the mountains, so fair.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so and then you go, okay, so then you

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Speaker 1: go back and start trading with him, which, by the way,

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Speaker 1: great support system. I mean, he's like the best but

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Speaker 1: the best climbing buddy you could possibly have. And your husband,

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Speaker 1: of course is also a great support system. But I

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Speaker 1: mean it felt like, you know, the first time, I

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Speaker 1: I wasn't sure how many times you had done it.

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Speaker 1: I was like, wait, did I just watch her four

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Speaker 1: or five times do the same thing? And then I realized, oh, okay,

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Speaker 1: this is you practicing, and this is you want to

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Speaker 1: pitch where you fall down a pitch and then you

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Speaker 1: redo the pitch. So there's all these kind of different

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Speaker 1: there's all these different kind of technical terms that I

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Speaker 1: wasn't familiar with. But I mean, it's an incredible feat

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Speaker 1: and it's incredible strength of mind because you talk us

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Speaker 1: through when you were younger, and you know, you.

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Speaker 2: Had an eating disorder.

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Speaker 1: You were eating only carrots for a sort of period

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Speaker 1: in your life where your mother was said you your

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Speaker 1: hands turned orange because you were only eating carrots.

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Speaker 2: And to be doing your.

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Speaker 1: Physical activities with that little nutrition and what you were

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Speaker 1: doing in terms of rock climbing and ice picking at

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Speaker 1: all of those things, like the wear and tear that

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Speaker 1: that must have had on your body, and the innate

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Speaker 1: strength that you had to even continue to do that

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Speaker 1: in those conditions.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I think eating disorders are pretty pervasive

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Speaker 5: in the sport of climbing, just because it is kind

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Speaker 5: of a strength to wait ratio sport and you do

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Speaker 5: see like really short gains and it's very obvious when

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Speaker 5: it happens, but like it is short term, like it

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Speaker 5: doesn't last. And so I think for me, I just

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Speaker 5: started emotionally and physically breaking down and recognizing that climbing

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Speaker 5: was making me really unhappy and it was becoming a punishment.

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Speaker 5: And that's actually when I started transitioning into other avenues

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Speaker 5: of climbing, different disciplines. That's when I had the opportunity

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Speaker 5: to go to Nepal to go to the Himalaya, and

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Speaker 5: then the following year I went to Mount Everest. And

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Speaker 5: with that kind of climbing, you really cannot get away

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Speaker 5: with not fueling properly, Like it's just not an option.

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Speaker 5: You just won't go anywhere on the mountain and so

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Speaker 5: that was really eye opening for me. Was like, oh, actually,

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Speaker 5: like I need to feel my body in order to

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Speaker 5: be successful. And it took several years for me to

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Speaker 5: kind of like wrap my brain around it. I kept

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Speaker 5: kind of having falling back into the bad habits, but

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Speaker 5: I think, you know, thankfully I had some really good

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Speaker 5: mentors and really good influences on me, and then I

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Speaker 5: did kind of diversify and go into this other realm

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Speaker 5: of climbing and and recognize essentially what I was doing wrong,

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Speaker 5: that the approach was just flawed.

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Speaker 1: And how was the approach flawed because of the eating

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Speaker 1: disorder or because of everything surrounding that.

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Speaker 5: I think everything. I think the idea of trying to

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Speaker 5: control every single thing in my life and having this

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Speaker 5: really like perfectionist mindset and being super hard on myself

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Speaker 5: if things didn't go perfectly, it was just beating me down.

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Speaker 5: And then the eating disorder was kind of a you know,

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Speaker 5: it was kind of just like an effect of all

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Speaker 5: of those feelings, and then it was like a cycle

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Speaker 5: of punishment, like if I didn't succeed, then I had

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Speaker 5: to train harder, and I had to eat less and

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Speaker 5: I had to do more, and so it was just

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Speaker 5: like this cycle of exhaustion and punishment and honestly just unhappiness.

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Speaker 5: And I think a lot of like athletes can can

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Speaker 5: relate to being kind of stuck in that space.

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Speaker 1: And do you think that's more of a female thing,

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Speaker 1: female athlete thing, or do you think eating disorders are

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Speaker 1: pervasive among men in sport as well.

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Speaker 5: I think it's pervasive among men as well. I just

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Speaker 5: don't think it's as talked about, right. I don't think

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Speaker 5: it's as accepted for men to talk about it even

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Speaker 5: But I do know some men who have struggled with it,

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Speaker 5: and you know, I think that they're much more prone

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Speaker 5: to kind of like hiding it and not talking about

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Speaker 5: it and having it. People not really like think it's

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Speaker 5: an issue with men, but I very much think it is.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So halfway through this movie, you're attempting to climb

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Speaker 1: you start, I think at four in the morning, you're

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Speaker 1: attempting again to climb Al Capitan.

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Speaker 2: You're with Alex and his girlfriend and you have a fall.

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Speaker 4: You fall.

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Speaker 2: How many feet did you fall?

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Speaker 5: I think I fell like fifty feet. It's something I.

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Speaker 1: Mean, how did you not get more injured during that fall?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 5: Honestly, I think it was like one of those super

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Speaker 5: lucky situations. I completely like flipped upside down, and I

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Speaker 5: think I flipped upside down and there was so much rope,

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Speaker 5: there was so much slack in the system that the

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Speaker 5: rope actually caught me on my neck and like burned

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Speaker 5: my I had like this crazy rope burn all up

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Speaker 5: and down my neck and I did hit my head.

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Speaker 4: I lost consciousness.

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Speaker 5: So for me, like, I don't remember a whole lot

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Speaker 5: because I did lose consciousness. I think it was like

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Speaker 5: far more traumatic for the people who were there and

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Speaker 5: rescued me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's all caught on camera.

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Speaker 1: So that was also because you're hearing you scream and

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Speaker 1: you don't know exactly what has happened to you. And

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Speaker 1: then we see you in the hospital and we realize

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Speaker 1: that you you are injured, but you're not It's not

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Speaker 1: like you can't walk again, which is what Alex was

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Speaker 1: worried about when he heard that fall.

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Speaker 4: I think we were all worried about that.

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Speaker 5: I did have back pain, but then like I went

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Speaker 5: to the hospital and they were kind of in disbelief too.

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Speaker 4: They were like you fell how far?

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Speaker 5: Like oh my god, and then they did all these

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Speaker 5: tests and they were like, you're fine, you can you

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Speaker 5: can leave. So you know, I had a concussion obviously,

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Speaker 5: but and mentally, I think I was pretty shaken, and

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Speaker 5: it took me a while to kind of like get

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Speaker 5: back to a place where I felt comfortable climbing again,

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Speaker 5: where I could really trust myself. But yeah, I got

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Speaker 5: I got incredibly lucky.

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Speaker 1: And it's just such a mental Like when you were

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Speaker 1: watching this movie and watching you, I just felt such

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Speaker 1: an understanding of like it's almost I mean, of course

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Speaker 1: it's physical, it's all physical, but it is so if

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Speaker 1: not more mental than commensurateto how physical it is.

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Speaker 2: I want you to talk to me about that.

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Speaker 1: What part of you do you think is mental and

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Speaker 1: for this kind of thing, or and what part is physical?

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Speaker 5: I mean, I think it's massively mental. I think the

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Speaker 5: ability to kind of look at this three thy two

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Speaker 5: hundred foot wall and say, Okay, I'm gonna try to

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Speaker 5: climb it in under twenty four hours. It's just a

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Speaker 5: massive mental and emotional undertaking. And it's really hard to

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Speaker 5: not feel incredibly daunted when you're standing at the bottom.

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Speaker 5: So it very much is the process of like breaking

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Speaker 5: it down into these more digestible pieces and maintaining composure

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Speaker 5: of this really long, long period of time. And then

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Speaker 5: there is a level of exhaustion that you eventually reach,

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Speaker 5: you know, halfway up the wall too, they'd the way

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Speaker 5: up the wall or whatever.

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Speaker 4: That may be.

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Speaker 5: And there is like this mental component of like you

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Speaker 5: have to keep going even though you feel exhausted. I mean,

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Speaker 5: it's just like any endurance sport where you really have

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Speaker 5: to kind of like dig into those mental reserves and

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Speaker 5: the mental endurance in order to kind of like keep moving.

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Speaker 5: And you have to have a lot of belief and

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Speaker 5: a lot of faith that you do have that little

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Speaker 5: bit of extra to keep going.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what would you say to people who are I mean,

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Speaker 1: who are struggling with that?

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Speaker 2: Because it's any athlete, you know.

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Speaker 1: I was just at the US Open and you could

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Speaker 1: see people who are not mentally like you know, they're

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Speaker 1: tougher physically than they are mentally, their mental game isn't there.

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Speaker 1: And then when you see people who are mentally clicked in,

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Speaker 1: you know, you could see how they are just unbeatable,

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Speaker 1: like they just keep going and they keep going. But

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Speaker 1: it's not something that is you know, it's it's not

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Speaker 1: a permanent state of mind to be mentally prepared for something.

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Speaker 4: No, it's not.

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Speaker 5: But I think that it has to be trained, just

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Speaker 5: like your body has to be trained. And I think

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Speaker 5: that's a lot of things that like maybe amateur athletes

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Speaker 5: don't often recognize, is a lot of these elite athletes

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Speaker 5: are doing mental training alongside their physical training, so they're

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Speaker 5: prepared baring their minds just as well as they're preparing

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Speaker 5: their bodies for like the big the big day or

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Speaker 5: the game or whatever, the match or whatever that is.

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Speaker 5: And it does it takes a lot of work up

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Speaker 5: front to kind of prepare your mind and then you know,

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Speaker 5: be ready for when circumstances arise that are out of

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Speaker 5: your control on the day to kind of like deal

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Speaker 5: with those circumstances and deal with the pitfalls and keep going.

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Speaker 5: I think it it you have to think of it

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Speaker 5: like a muscle. Like I do work with a sports

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Speaker 5: psychologist who kind of like has helped me for years

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Speaker 5: get to the point where I'm ready on the day.

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Speaker 5: And I just think that that's often something that's missed

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Speaker 5: is that we also like train our minds just as much.

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Speaker 1: And do you think you were leaning I mean, of

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Speaker 1: course you were leaning on Alex kind of in an

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Speaker 1: emotional way, right, even though he was there to climb

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Speaker 1: with you, you know, because watching it first of all, but

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Speaker 1: they don't show your sports psychologists in this movie.

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Speaker 5: No, it's like a little clip of me talking to

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Speaker 5: her on the phone. Okay, there's like quite a bit

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Speaker 5: of like liability. Liability with that.

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Speaker 1: I would imagine, how did you feel? How did you

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Speaker 1: feel watching this film and seeing yourself at all these

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Speaker 1: different stages in your life.

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Speaker 5: It's funny because everybody sees the film and then they,

399
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Speaker 5: you know, everybody kind of like thinks they know you

400
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Speaker 5: and they know your story, and part of that is true.

401
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Speaker 5: But it really truly is just like this little stap

402
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Speaker 5: shot of my life. And thankfully I really like the movie.

403
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Speaker 5: I think it's done quite well. I'm really proud of it,

404
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Speaker 5: and I'm proud of the whole team. And so it's

405
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Speaker 5: been a really fun kind of reliving of the whole journey.

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Speaker 5: It's been pretty nostalgic, and I think after after I

407
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Speaker 5: did Golden Gate, I went through this period of time

408
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Speaker 5: where I was like kind.

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Speaker 4: Of downplaying it into my head.

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Speaker 5: I think a lot of athletes go through this, you

411
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Speaker 5: kind of like do the thing, and then you're like

412
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Speaker 5: a little depressed and everything feels like melancholy and you're like, well,

413
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Speaker 5: what am I doing now?

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Speaker 4: I'm lost.

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Speaker 5: I definitely went through that, and so now that the

416
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Speaker 5: movies out and I've had some distance from it, it's

417
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Speaker 5: been really fun to kind of like feel proud. I

418
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Speaker 5: don't think I felt like this is the most proud

419
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Speaker 5: I've felt of the actual achievement because I got to

420
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Speaker 5: kind of like relive it with all these people and

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Speaker 5: people are like inspired by it, and that's just been

422
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Speaker 5: such a cool process to go through.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, how many times have you climbed it since then?

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Speaker 1: Since you've since you've had a baby.

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Speaker 5: No, I haven't. I haven't been back. I mean no,

426
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Speaker 5: I have been back. I've been back every year. I

427
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Speaker 5: just haven't been to El Cap. I've climbed in the

428
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Speaker 5: valley at other areas, other walls that are quite a

429
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Speaker 5: bit shorter. I haven't quite I haven't quite gotten the

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Speaker 5: like fire back to climb on that wall. Every time

431
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Speaker 5: I drive into Yosemite, I look at it and I'm like,

432
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Speaker 5: oh my god, it's so big.

433
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Speaker 4: I can't believe I did that.

434
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Speaker 5: So I'm yeah, I'm getting there slowly, but it's been

435
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,360
Speaker 5: kind of a long road to get back to that

436
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Speaker 5: style of climbing for me. I do still climb a ton,

437
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 5: and I train really hard, and thankfully there's all these

438
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Speaker 5: different styles of climbing that kind of like are a

439
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 5: bit easier and less time consuming than free climbing on

440
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Speaker 5: El Cap. So I still rock climb a bunch. I

441
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 5: haven't made it back to El Cap yet, but I

442
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:57,520
Speaker 5: really hope, So hope.

443
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 2: So and now.

444
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:00,359
Speaker 1: And you climb with your baby, right, I mean, I

445
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:01,640
Speaker 1: guess they're not a baby anymore.

446
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:06,119
Speaker 5: How, he's two and a half. Yeah, we we try

447
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,440
Speaker 5: to do trips that are like kind of like friendly

448
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 5: for families. We have a bunch of like all of

449
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:15,080
Speaker 5: us have kids now. We're just all like aging athletes,

450
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,200
Speaker 5: like Donald has two kids now. So we all go

451
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,880
Speaker 5: together and like bring the vans and go and it's

452
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,400
Speaker 5: just like complete chaos, but we all get to climb

453
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 5: and kind of help each other out and it's it's

454
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 5: super fun. But yeah, we bring him along. He's like

455
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,960
Speaker 5: pretty excited. He's pretty stoked on like swinging around on

456
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,120
Speaker 5: the ropes and like talking about climbing.

457
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 4: But yeah, it's kind of like a family affair.

458
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 1: Now, another thing I'm really jealous of is that you've

459
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,640
Speaker 1: skied so many peaks in so many different countries.

460
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,880
Speaker 2: What is it? Eight thousand peaks? Is that what it says?

461
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 1: Four thousand foot peaks, eight thousand meters, eight thousand meters,

462
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:52,680
Speaker 1: thousand peaks. Who's counting all those peaks eight thousand meters?

463
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,640
Speaker 5: I haven't done eight thousand peaks. Yeah, I'm a skier,

464
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 5: you're a skier.

465
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,680
Speaker 1: I love steeing, yes, but I mean I've ever done

466
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 1: anything like that. No, I would be fucking shitting my pants.

467
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 5: I mean, skiing was my first passion. I started skiing

468
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 5: when I was two years old, and I was a

469
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 5: ski racer and I quit for climbing, and then I

470
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 5: moved to Tahoe when I met my husband and he's

471
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,880
Speaker 5: he's like a professional big mountain skier, so he's skied

472
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,920
Speaker 5: like a lot of the biggest mountains in the world,

473
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 5: and I've like joined for some of the trips. But

474
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 5: for me, skiing is like since rediscovered it. It's a

475
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 5: total second passion and it's just like this really amazing

476
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 5: alternative to climbing that I have where like I don't

477
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 5: have any like weird expectations or performance or like anxiety

478
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,919
Speaker 5: or identity like wrapped up in skiing, Like skiing is

479
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 5: for me, It's like this amazing, fun, lovely activity for

480
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,680
Speaker 5: me to do with my husband, and it's just like

481
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 5: one of my favorite things. Like sometimes I'd much rather

482
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 5: go skiing than go climbing because it just is such

483
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 5: a like refreshing alternative to like my career, which is

484
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 5: right climbing.

485
00:21:58,520 --> 00:21:59,080
Speaker 2: Right, right?

486
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 1: And what ways do you think that you've applied what

487
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:07,639
Speaker 1: you've learned from actually accomplishing that and having such not

488
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 1: a bumpy road, but you know your challenge is along

489
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,879
Speaker 1: the way to accomplish what you set out to do,

490
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 1: which was climate Capitan in less than twenty four hours.

491
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 2: On that route.

492
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,920
Speaker 1: Like how have you been able to measure how that

493
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 1: experience has influenced your like mother, you know, being a mother,

494
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,439
Speaker 1: or and having a baby and being a parent, Like

495
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 1: how does it influence your decisions or challenges that you

496
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 1: face in your real life?

497
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:33,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I just like to say that having

498
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 5: a kid is like embarking on a lifelong expedition. Like

499
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 5: when you go on an expedition, it's like you're you're

500
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 5: like sleep gets all fucked up, You're like not eating

501
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 5: as well as you want. You know, you don't have

502
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,479
Speaker 5: a routine. Like you're exhausted, but you still have to

503
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,639
Speaker 5: like perform and you still have to like keep moving

504
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 5: forward and you still have to keep trying. And that's

505
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 5: kind of what parenting is. It's like some days it

506
00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 5: like sucks and you're tired and like nobody's had but

507
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,400
Speaker 5: you just like keep moving and every phase is temporary

508
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 5: and you just keep going and like when you look

509
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 5: back on it, you're kind of like, oh, yeah, actually,

510
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 5: like that was a great memory. That was a super

511
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 5: fun time, even though it was like really hard. And

512
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,680
Speaker 5: so I think we've sort of applied that to our parenting.

513
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 5: It's just like another adventure that we're embarking on and

514
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 5: we're still like trying to do all the same things.

515
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,439
Speaker 5: We're still trying to go places. We're trying to be skiers,

516
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,440
Speaker 5: we're trying to be climbers, we're trying to be athletes,

517
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,399
Speaker 5: and we're trying to incorporate our son into it. Of course,

518
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 5: like things have changed and we've like pivoted a little

519
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 5: bit and we have different priorities and we approach risk

520
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 5: completely differently than we used to. But that's not to

521
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 5: say that we don't still take risks. I think risk

522
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 5: is like a very healthy part of living and it's

523
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,120
Speaker 5: something that we should all like talk more about. So yeah,

524
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 5: we just kind of like view it in that framework

525
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 5: of like what we've always done in our lives, and

526
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 5: like we're gonna keep doing what we do. We're gonna

527
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 5: keep trying hard, We're gonna keep trying to do hard things.

528
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 5: Being a parent is also hard, but it's also like

529
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,639
Speaker 5: really fun and we've chosen it and so this is

530
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 5: like our chosen like suffering and our chosen adventure and

531
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 5: it's mostly awesome.

532
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 1: Well, I like what you said about taking risks, Like

533
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,639
Speaker 1: how does that apply to being a parent, Like, what

534
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 1: are some ways in which you take risks as a parent,

535
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,439
Speaker 1: Because I think people think about that as like a

536
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 1: solo journey, right, risk taking, Like, oh, that's about me,

537
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 1: and you're only putting yourself at risk.

538
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 2: But is there any way in which you do that

539
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 2: as a parent.

540
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean we take risks in our own like

541
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 5: athletic endeavors still my husband and I and we talk

542
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 5: very clearly about those things and we you know, kind

543
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 5: of like way whether or not the experience of the

544
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 5: achievement is going to be worth the risk, and some

545
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 5: things just nowadays just aren't as worth it, so we

546
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 5: kind of don't do them.

547
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 4: We back off.

548
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 5: But also we like encourage our kid to take risks.

549
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 5: We encourage him to think about risks, and like if

550
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,720
Speaker 5: he falls down, he falls down and you learn something

551
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 5: from it. We don't really feel like we want to

552
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,479
Speaker 5: be like the bubble rep parents and kind of like

553
00:24:54,520 --> 00:25:01,360
Speaker 5: today from yeah, prevent him from mix experiencing like failure

554
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 5: and you know, getting hurt and stuff like that. I mean,

555
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 5: obviously there's like guardrails that we have, but I think

556
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 5: for the most part we're like pretty soaked on bringing

557
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:13,439
Speaker 5: him along for adventures and you know, really opened to

558
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 5: talking about risks, and I think, you know, it's going

559
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,120
Speaker 5: to be harder as he gets older. I think that's

560
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 5: the trick with parenting is like when your kid finds

561
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 5: their passion, hopefully they find their passion, you know, not

562
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,480
Speaker 5: really worrying about about those things and really worrying about

563
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,399
Speaker 5: what could happen to them. I think that's going to

564
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,360
Speaker 5: be like one of the biggest hurdles right now, it's

565
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 5: like all very simple. He's too, so like's not it's

566
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 5: not that hard. The decisions aren't that hard yet.

567
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, and the movie you talk about the first time

568
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 1: you went rock climbing and like that you said a

569
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 1: light turned off.

570
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:45,160
Speaker 2: I would say probably on or off. Right, when you.

571
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 1: Experience that, just talk to a little bit about finding

572
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:49,479
Speaker 1: the thing that moves you.

573
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 7: Yeah.

574
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,719
Speaker 5: I feel super lucky that I had that experience. I

575
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 5: was ten years old and we.

576
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,360
Speaker 4: Were at this I grew up in Colorado.

577
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,160
Speaker 5: We're at this lake and there was one of those

578
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,919
Speaker 5: artificial walls and I climbed the wall and I just

579
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 5: remember like I was really afraid because I could like

580
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 5: feel the air under my feet and I felt exposure

581
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 5: and I was like feeling fear, but I just like

582
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 5: kept going, kept going and got to the top and

583
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,200
Speaker 5: came down. And it was just like this really empowering

584
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 5: feeling to like be afraid and feel exposure but continue

585
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 5: to work through it and get to the top. And

586
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 5: it was just one of those feelings where I just

587
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 5: I immediately went to my dad and I was like,

588
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,679
Speaker 5: how do I do this again? Like this is what

589
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 5: I want to do. I just I want to do

590
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 5: that again. So I went, he took me to the

591
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 5: climbing gym and then everything just took off from there.

592
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 1: And I know it's obviously a mostly male sport, like

593
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: everything in the world is. So what is the community

594
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 1: like with climbers because in the movie there's feature you know,

595
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:47,440
Speaker 1: there's other climbers featured summer, mostly male, there's a couple

596
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 1: of women in there. What's the vibe like, do you

597
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 1: go in a group typically? Do you ever go by

598
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 1: yourself or is that a no no, you always need

599
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:55,439
Speaker 1: a buddy.

600
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, it depends on what you're doing. I will say

601
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 5: that climbing is is it's growing massively. It's an Olympic

602
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,959
Speaker 5: sport now, and it's just like exploding across the world

603
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 5: in terms because of climbing gyms, I think, and the

604
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 5: female participation has just skyrocketed. And it is one of

605
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:16,640
Speaker 5: the only sports I think where the difference between men

606
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 5: and women is quite a bit narrower, and it's getting

607
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 5: more narrow Like some of the best climbers in the

608
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,439
Speaker 5: world are females. Some of the most well known climbers

609
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 5: in the world are females. Because it is a very

610
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,880
Speaker 5: complicated sport, it rewards strength, but it also rewards flexibility,

611
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 5: and it also rewards like you know, puzzle like the

612
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 5: ability to solve puzzles, and it rewards body awareness. And

613
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:41,640
Speaker 5: so there are these spaces where females can really excel

614
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 5: and we have and we do have these like standout

615
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,199
Speaker 5: achievements in climbing, like what Lynn Hill did in the

616
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 5: early nineties when she was the first person to free

617
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 5: climb l Cap in a day like that is like

618
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 5: the most groundbreaking achievement in rock climbing and it is

619
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 5: owned by a woman and everybody knows it. So in

620
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 5: that way, climbing is very unique. That said, there are

621
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 5: you know, there's obviously more male participation than female. And

622
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 5: when I was growing up, I basically like just climbed

623
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 5: with boys. There weren't that many girls. But now it's

624
00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:14,120
Speaker 5: like just so different. Yeah, when we go round climbing, generally,

625
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 5: if you're climbing with a rope, you have a partner.

626
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 5: And so I go with my husband or I have

627
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 5: friends around. I have a lot of friends, like I said,

628
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 5: who have kids now, so we kind of can all

629
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,959
Speaker 5: go together. If I'm going to the climbing gym, I

630
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 5: sometimes will just go by myself and put my headphones

631
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 5: in and just like go get my workout in. That's

632
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 5: like the most effective, easiest way to train is to

633
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 5: just like go by yourself and do your thing. So, yeah,

634
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 5: it's a mix. But if you're going outside, generally I

635
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 5: have a partner because I like to climb on a

636
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 5: rope or with a rope.

637
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 2: Do you mentor any young climbers and a young females.

638
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean I think I'm sort of stepping into

639
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 5: that role as a mentor right now, especially with the

640
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 5: film coming out. I'm also a part of the north

641
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,959
Speaker 5: Face Global Athlete Team, which is this really amazing like

642
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 5: it's a very well formed team of athletes and we

643
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,719
Speaker 5: get together and there are opportunities to mentor the younger athletes.

644
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 5: I've now been on the team since two thousand and eight,

645
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 5: so I'm like one of the older athletes on the team.

646
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 5: And growing up I had mentors like Conrad Ankor who

647
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 5: brought me to Mount Everest and Hillary Nelson who's in

648
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 5: the film. And so now I'm sort of stepping into

649
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 5: that role with the younger athletes on the team, which

650
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 5: has been super fun. And then also I'm now working

651
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 5: with this nonprofit called z Girls, which is like mental

652
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 5: health coaching for adolescent girls. And what it is is

653
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 5: they like pair a professional athlete with a mental health

654
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 5: coach and we do these like virtual calls where we

655
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 5: kind of help young girls they're like ages eleven to fourteen,

656
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,239
Speaker 5: kind of like deal with all the struggles of being

657
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 5: an adolescent and confidence and all of those things. And

658
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 5: so that's been kind of a really cool way to

659
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 5: like mentor just more young women.

660
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 1: I was so amazed watching the film, Like when you

661
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 1: guys whipped out of bed like on the side of

662
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 1: the mountain, I was like, wait, they're gonna go fucking

663
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 1: sleep now. I'm like, I mean, it's kind of amazing

664
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 1: what you can bring up there with you. Because the

665
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 1: definition of free climbing. You tell me, what's the definition

666
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 1: of free climbing?

667
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, so free climbing is exactly what you imagine it

668
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 5: to be. It is using your hands and feet to

669
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,959
Speaker 5: ascend a wall and no, you're use No, you use

670
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 5: a rope. So this is where it gets confused. Okay,

671
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 5: free climbing is using your hands and feet to ascend

672
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 5: a wall, and you use a rope and protection in

673
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 5: case of a fall. Now, that's so it's meant to

674
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 5: be compared against aid climbing, which is how like back

675
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 5: in the sixties they climbed walls like l cap they

676
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 5: would like place protection and pull on the protection and

677
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 5: they would use the ropes. That's called aid climbing because

678
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 5: they thought it was impossible to free climb, like they

679
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 5: thought it was impossible to climb just the rock itself.

680
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 5: And now we have free climbing. The reason that it

681
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 5: got fucked up is I blame Alex Honald because of

682
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 5: free solo. Everybody the term free everybody just associates that

683
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 5: with like no ropes. Free solo is actually free climbing

684
00:30:56,280 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 5: without a rope. Okay, it's the term solo that differentiates it.

685
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 5: So free climbing is anything. If you've ever been to

686
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 5: a climbing gym and you're like climbing on the little

687
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 5: the colored holes, that is free climbing. Like anytime you're

688
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 5: just using your hands and feet to a sand that's

689
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 5: free climbing. It's just like this umbrella term. And in

690
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 5: general we use rope and protection in case of a fall.

691
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,959
Speaker 2: And what are you doing to eat on your way up?

692
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 2: What are you taking for nutrients?

693
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 5: I'm kind of like a snacker, so I would bring

694
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 5: just like a variety of like bars and dried fruit

695
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 5: and nuts and salty things, a lot of water.

696
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 4: You know.

697
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 5: We had like a good support crew with us, so

698
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 5: like Alex had a backpack with a bunch of stuff

699
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 5: in it, and he wasn't free climbing. He was like

700
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 5: ascending the rope behind me, so he could carry like.

701
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 4: A lot more.

702
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 5: And then yeah, we had Adrian brought down some food

703
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 5: for me. So yeah, it's just like kind of it's

704
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 5: kind of like running an ultra marathon or like running

705
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 5: a long race. It's like you kind of want to

706
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,440
Speaker 5: be fueling a little bit every hour essentially.

707
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, what did you think, Catherine when you watched the movie?

708
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 2: I mean, did you have to watch it twice?

709
00:31:58,720 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 5: Like me?

710
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 3: I didn't watch it twice. I was wrapped, Like my

711
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 3: attention was just so wicky.

712
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 7: Up.

713
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: It's really intense. I mean it really like real, just

714
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 1: tough stuff.

715
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:08,479
Speaker 2: Yeah.

716
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 3: Two things that really were shocking to me, one being

717
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 3: the choice to sort of announce that you were going

718
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 3: to do this project, that you were going to free

719
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 3: climb l Cap. Not the easiest route, but you know,

720
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 3: a different route a harder route in under twenty four

721
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 3: hours before you did it, because if you hadn't announced it,

722
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 3: like no one would know that you, you know, quote

723
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 3: unquote failed a few times. No one would know if

724
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 3: you never made it. But I thought that was so

725
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 3: interesting that you chose to do that.

726
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:37,479
Speaker 2: Did you do that so that you would do it?

727
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know.

728
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 5: I think like in this day and age, like as

729
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 5: an athlete, you're kind of like your own brand, and

730
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 5: so you do have to tell stories. And I'm a

731
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 5: firm believer in kind of like bringing people along for

732
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 5: the ride in all of its forms, like it in

733
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 5: the failure and the success. And I think people are

734
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 5: the people are so like kind of drawn to the

735
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 5: film is because they can relate to it because there

736
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 5: is a lot of failure and because they did tell

737
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 5: the story. And I wasn't afraid to like be vulnerable.

738
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 1: And you wanted to give up, and there were times

739
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: where you wanted to give up even while you were climbing.

740
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 1: You were like, forget it, I can't do it, And

741
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: they're like you're gonna do your husband, and I believe

742
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: was like you're going to do it today, you know,

743
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: Like I mean that is anything that is something that

744
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: anybody can relate to, is failing and wanting to give

745
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 1: up and throw in the towel. But the perseverance really

746
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 1: what separates you know, the winners.

747
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 3: And the other thing about that is that was after

748
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 3: you had had a fall on that success, you know,

749
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 3: the attempt that you were successful, and that fall is

750
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 3: so excruciating to watch where you just head first hit

751
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 3: the wall, I mean.

752
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 2: And then end up with a hole in your head. Yeah.

753
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 2: But the fact that you.

754
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,479
Speaker 3: Like stop, you have yourself a little cry, and then

755
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 3: you go the rest of the way the fuck up

756
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 3: the mountain Like that, to me was so incredible. And

757
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 3: you know what you were saying earlier about showing emotion,

758
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,240
Speaker 3: that is a perfect example of that. Like you got

759
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 3: that out of your system and then you kept going.

760
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's what I tell people. It's like people

761
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 5: are like, how did you keep going?

762
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 4: Like you wanted to give.

763
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 5: Up, and it's like, yeah, I didn't want to give up,

764
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 5: but I kind of knew, Like I also needed Adrian

765
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 5: there to be like, Nope, you're not You're not done.

766
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 5: I would tell you if you were done, like you

767
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 5: you're fine, Like we did first aid and everything. I

768
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 5: didn't actually have a concussion, but I really needed to,

769
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 5: like like you said, I needed to like get it

770
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 5: out of my system and like have the cry express

771
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 5: all the doubts, like express that I wasn't feeling confident.

772
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,319
Speaker 5: And then it was like, okay, like all of that's

773
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 5: out there. I got it off my chest and now

774
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:37,359
Speaker 5: I can like try again, which, honestly, like logistically it

775
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 5: kind of was the easiest thing to do. Like, bailing

776
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 5: at that position on the wall is quite difficult, Like

777
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 5: you're not it's not just like you're gonna like hop

778
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 5: in your car and you know, go home and have

779
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 5: an idea.

780
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 1: It does happen when one bails at that point, because

781
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:54,280
Speaker 1: I would think you would just lay down or repel down.

782
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 5: Or super convoluted and really difficult to do, Like you

783
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 5: can't really repel straight down off that section the wall

784
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 5: for various nuanced reasons. The easiest way is up, so

785
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,800
Speaker 5: you could like ascend ropes basically or aid climb out.

786
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:09,960
Speaker 5: But at that point it's like, why don't you just

787
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 5: try to climb the pitch one more time? You know,

788
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 5: so I like kind of big wall free climbing is cool,

789
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 5: and it kind of like forces you into these positions,

790
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 5: like you're kind of like forced into trying because it's

791
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 5: actually just like kind of the easiest thing to do

792
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:24,800
Speaker 5: in the moment.

793
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 2: And what is that called?

794
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 1: When you're sandwiched in between like like in a cave,

795
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 1: when you're a crack, Yeah, the crack is what's the

796
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 1: term for that?

797
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 2: Is just a crack?

798
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,760
Speaker 5: Well, yeah, it's crack climbing when you're ascending a crack.

799
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,919
Speaker 5: But what we when it's like wider then your your

800
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 5: hands can fit, then that's called like wide climbing or

801
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 5: off with climbing. And it's this super like uncomfortable, like

802
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 5: specific style of climbing that is very unique to l

803
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:52,720
Speaker 5: cap and other like you know granite.

804
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it seems impossible. It's like it like sucks.

805
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 5: It's like my least favorite kind of climbing, and I'm

806
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:00,440
Speaker 5: like not that good at it.

807
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,919
Speaker 1: So when you summitted and you got to the top

808
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 1: for the first time, when you i mean the way

809
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 1: you wanted to, I think you had done it before,

810
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 1: but not that like not free climbing, right, So the

811
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 1: first time you did it and you break down and

812
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 1: you're emotional and you're joyful and all the things, and

813
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,800
Speaker 1: you say this really great line about like you're hungry,

814
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:23,760
Speaker 1: you're wet, you're cold, but everything is perfect something along

815
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 1: those lines.

816
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 2: Which I thought is a great love that line. Yeah,

817
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 2: it's really.

818
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 1: Beautiful, and I kind of sums up everything that anyone

819
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: would feel after fighting your way to get somewhere. What

820
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,839
Speaker 1: was it like for you to watch yourself do that

821
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 1: and be in that state?

822
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 4: It's so awesome.

823
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 5: Like I always whenever the film is premiering and I

824
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 5: have to be at a premiere, I always leave for

825
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:44,919
Speaker 5: the middle, and then I always make sure to come

826
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 5: back for the end because I do. It's like it's

827
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 5: just so special and I just feel so lucky that,

828
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 5: you know, I got to I get to experience it again.

829
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 5: It was just such a relief, honestly, like a relief

830
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 5: and surreal and joyful.

831
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 4: I was just so stoked.

832
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 5: And then what people often don't realize is like you

833
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,840
Speaker 5: have to like walk back down off the top, and

834
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,839
Speaker 5: it takes like three and a half hours. So we

835
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 5: were just like at the top and then we had

836
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 5: to walk back down. We got back at like three

837
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:15,239
Speaker 5: am or so.

838
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 2: You walk down off the back of the mountain or

839
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 2: you repel back down you.

840
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 4: Like, no, you don't repel down.

841
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,880
Speaker 5: You kind of like walk back and then wind your

842
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 5: way around and you actually end up having to do

843
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 5: like three or four repels and then you hike through

844
00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 5: the woods and down. But it takes like three hours

845
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 5: and it's super easy to get lost. It's it's just

846
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:33,239
Speaker 5: like a whole thing.

847
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:34,399
Speaker 4: Especially in the middle of the night.

848
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 1: And I know, I know, I don't understand how people

849
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 1: do this in the middle of the night with a

850
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 1: miner's lamp.

851
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,320
Speaker 2: And also all of those hooks.

852
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,360
Speaker 1: Are those hooks already on all these mountains, because where

853
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 1: do these hooks come from? Like are they permanent on

854
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:50,360
Speaker 1: El Capitan that you're hooking.

855
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 2: Your ropes to.

856
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 5: Yes, So some of it is so there are bolts

857
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 5: that the first ascension is like the people who go

858
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 5: up there and like find the line and make the route.

859
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 5: Sometimes they put in bolts where they drill a hole

860
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,839
Speaker 5: in the wall and then they hammer in a bolt

861
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 5: and you can clip a carabiner to that and that's

862
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 5: how you clip your open. So the bolts are permanent.

863
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 5: And then we have like traditional gear, which is like

864
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,120
Speaker 5: we have these devices called cams and they're like they're

865
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 5: like pieces of metal and you squeeze, you squeeze a

866
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 5: trigger and it like contracts and you stick it in

867
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 5: the crack and it expands and it's actually super solid

868
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:23,879
Speaker 5: and we'll hold a fall. But you put those in

869
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 5: and then you remove them. So we have like gear

870
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:28,719
Speaker 5: that can be placed permanently and then gear that can

871
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 5: be removed, and it kind of just depends on the

872
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:33,280
Speaker 5: style of climbing in the place. Some places have specific

873
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 5: rules about bolts, like some don't allow it, so it's

874
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 5: all like again, very nuanced, but yes, some of the

875
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 5: gears up there and some of them we bring with

876
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 5: us and like put it in and take it out.

877
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, we're going to take a break and we're

878
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 1: going to be right back with Emily Harrington from a

879
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:54,600
Speaker 1: Girl Climber. And we're back with Emily Harrington from Girl Climber,

880
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 1: who set a record, well, she said a lot of records.

881
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: You've won a lot of awards, but we'll cover all

882
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 1: of that in your intro, so you don't have to

883
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 1: listen to all of your awards for me, because you're

884
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: a five time US National Champion climber.

885
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 2: So okay, we're back.

886
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:08,359
Speaker 4: We are back.

887
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:09,280
Speaker 2: We're back with Emily.

888
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 4: Are you ready to get.

889
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: We're going to feel some We're going to field some

890
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,879
Speaker 1: questions from callers and give some advice and I'm sure

891
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,840
Speaker 1: these are related to your experience.

892
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 4: And I'll be in your wheelhouse more.

893
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, our first question, this one's an email, comes

894
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 3: from Molly. She says, Dear Chelsea, I need travel recommendations

895
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 3: and advice on how to have fun, feel empowered, but

896
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:33,839
Speaker 3: stay safe while traveling solo as a forty four year

897
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,280
Speaker 3: old female. I'm finally out of a twenty year toxic

898
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 3: marriage and looking forward to finding myself again on the

899
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 3: slopes after years of raising kids without much of a

900
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 3: partner financially, scraping by, and wasting so much time, money,

901
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 3: and energy on getting legally unhitched. On December twenty fifth,

902
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 3: at twelve pm, I will be child free and on

903
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 3: winter break from work for over a week.

904
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 4: Chelsea, where should I go? Taho go ski?

905
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:02,319
Speaker 2: Yeah? So, she says.

906
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,000
Speaker 3: I used to love to travel Europe, but that was

907
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 3: always in his shadow, on his schedule, with his rules.

908
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:08,880
Speaker 3: I'm an avid s gear I've got all the gear,

909
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 3: but finances are a thing I've been saving and we'll

910
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 3: have about thirty five hundred dollars to spend on the

911
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 3: whole trip, soup to nuts. I love all the places

912
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 3: you travel, and I'm hoping to reconnect with the independent, intelligent,

913
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,359
Speaker 3: twenty year old woman I was just before I met

914
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 3: my ex. In the meantime, maybe I can know what

915
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 3: it feels like to reclaim my narrative, even for a week.

916
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 3: I know you love Whistler, and I'd be all in

917
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 3: if I can financially swing it. What are some other

918
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 3: places of your favorite places to go in the middle

919
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 3: of winter to get away.

920
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 4: And have fun.

921
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,840
Speaker 1: I think Tahoe has the most options and is the

922
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,840
Speaker 1: most affordable. Tell me if I'm wrong. I mean Aspen's expensive,

923
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 1: Whistler's expensive. Tahoe's a little bit more affordable with a

924
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 1: lot of array, and they've been having great snow for

925
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 1: the last like five years.

926
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 2: Do you agree with that, Emily?

927
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean I'm biased, but I love Tahoe and

928
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 5: there are that We have so many ski resorts around

929
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 5: Lake Tahoe that you can kind of like pick and choose.

930
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 5: Some are more expensive than others, Some are more you know,

931
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,319
Speaker 5: for expert skiers, some are more for beginner skiers. The

932
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:06,799
Speaker 5: terrain differs, but you do have a lot of options.

933
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 1: And a lot of traffic, Like there's gonna be a

934
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:09,839
Speaker 1: lot of people there, like in a good way.

935
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 2: You know.

936
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:14,279
Speaker 1: It's Tahoe's really popular and it's accessible. It's not as

937
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:16,279
Speaker 1: bad as like some of these other ski towns where

938
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:17,840
Speaker 1: there's only one way in and one way out and

939
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 1: if your flight gets delayed, you're on a bus for

940
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 1: eight hours. I feel like Tahoe doesn't have that problem

941
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:25,840
Speaker 1: as often as like a place like Aspen does, or

942
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:27,839
Speaker 1: even some of like you know, Tell You Ride or

943
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 1: Jackson Hole, same kind of thing.

944
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 2: So yeah, I think you should go to Tahoe.

945
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 4: All right, Molly, You're going to Tahoe.

946
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 2: There you go.

947
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 4: Excellent.

948
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 3: Well, we do have people calling in, so our first

949
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:42,279
Speaker 3: caller today is Scarlet. She says, Dear Chelsea, I could

950
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 3: really use your take on a recurring family vacation issue.

951
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:47,800
Speaker 3: I live in the Rockies with my long term boyfriend.

952
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,280
Speaker 3: My family and his are both on the East Coast.

953
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,719
Speaker 3: To keep things fair, my boyfriend and I split the

954
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:56,359
Speaker 3: holidays Thanksgiving with my family Christmas with his, especially because

955
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,760
Speaker 3: my family is Jewish and Christmas is my boyfriend's favorite

956
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 3: holiday to spend with his family. The issue is my

957
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 3: mom has a long standing tradition of surprise family Christmas vacations.

958
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 3: She books the whole thing without telling us the destination,

959
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 3: just sends a packing list and.

960
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 4: Reveals where we're going at the airport.

961
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 3: Cute as a kid, but as an adult, she still

962
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:17,239
Speaker 3: books my flights and accommodations without asking me, and it

963
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:19,319
Speaker 3: has made it difficult to balance the surprise trip and

964
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 3: whatever else is going on in my life. I've directly

965
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 3: asked her many times to please run trips by me

966
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 3: before booking anything on my behalf, but it seems to

967
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 3: fall on deaf years or she just ignores me. When

968
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:31,160
Speaker 3: you're in law school, I had a chance to go

969
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 3: abroad over winter break. I explicitly asked her to wait

970
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:35,719
Speaker 3: until I had my travel dates for the program and

971
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:37,560
Speaker 3: told her it would be my only opportunity to go

972
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 3: before I was done with law school. As soon as

973
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,360
Speaker 3: I had the dates, I called her and lo and behold,

974
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 3: she'd already booked the family trip. Anyway, I ended up

975
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 3: cramming in both trips, bounced across four time zones, and

976
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 3: crashed so hard afterward that I barely kept up with classes.

977
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 3: I fear this set a bad precedent because now it

978
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:55,720
Speaker 3: seems like as long as she books the trip first,

979
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 3: she gets dips on my ability.

980
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 2: This, it's a book your trip. This, this is ridiculous.

981
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:05,240
Speaker 3: So another Christmas issue that came up was the first

982
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,279
Speaker 3: year that she and her boyfriend decided to spend the

983
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 3: holidays together. Her mom booked the Christmas trip without telling her,

984
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,720
Speaker 3: and so she wound up having to go with her family,

985
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 3: and they'd already spent Thanksgiving with her family, so it

986
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 3: was a little unfair on his behalf. So now this

987
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 3: behavior has expanded to all family events. She gets passive

988
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 3: aggressive and I say no. It keeps asking me to reconsider,

989
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:28,120
Speaker 3: and honestly, I'm exhausted trying to juggle her expectations with

990
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 3: my job as a brand new baby lawyer and my

991
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 3: life in law school. I learned that if I don't

992
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:35,040
Speaker 3: make in time for myself to recharge, my body will

993
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 3: force me to repay that debt later via blinding migraines.

994
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 3: So here's my question. Is it reasonable to skip family

995
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 3: trips even if I'm technically available. Do reasons like work,

996
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,839
Speaker 3: needing a break, or just not wanting to go make

997
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 3: me an asshole. I'm so resentful that even her generosity

998
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 3: she pays for everything, is starting to feel suffocating.

999
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 4: Do I need to adjust my attitude, Scarlet?

1000
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,479
Speaker 2: No, I'm suffocated by this letter.

1001
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:01,399
Speaker 1: It's too much. It's too much. She needs to chill out,

1002
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:03,239
Speaker 1: and you need to put it in writing. Like I

1003
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 1: have asked you repeatedly. You are not listening to me.

1004
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,840
Speaker 1: You are not hearing me. You guys are both splitting

1005
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 1: the holidays. Like she has to respect that, Like she

1006
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 1: has to respect that You're in a different part of

1007
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 1: your life now, you're an adult. You live with her,

1008
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,399
Speaker 1: You're not her little daughter that she has to pay

1009
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 1: for to take you everywhere. Like that's just not the

1010
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 1: way it needs to go down. So I would recommend

1011
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: writing a very stern email saying you've left me no

1012
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:29,200
Speaker 1: recourse but to actually write this letter to you. And

1013
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,840
Speaker 1: these are the rules moving forward, Like you're not telling

1014
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 1: me where I'm going, We're not doing surprise trips anymore.

1015
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 1: You have to get my permission before I agree to

1016
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 1: go on a vacation. What do you think, Emily?

1017
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1018
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 5: Absolutely, I mean I could never let someone book a

1019
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 5: flight for me. I can't do and I like, way

1020
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 5: too controlling to handle that. Yeah, you gotta lay down

1021
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:50,479
Speaker 5: the lot for sure.

1022
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:53,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think unfortunately you're going to tell her

1023
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:55,319
Speaker 3: this again, She's gonna do it again. And I think

1024
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,279
Speaker 3: the only way she's actually going to stop is when

1025
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 3: you say, like, sorry, those dates are ones I told

1026
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 3: you we're not a available and then you don't go

1027
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:02,880
Speaker 3: on the trip. I think this is when she's going

1028
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:03,879
Speaker 3: to have to learn the hard way.

1029
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're gonna have to actually follow through on not

1030
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 2: going on some of these trips.

1031
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 7: Yeah, And I think that's been the hard part, is

1032
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,799
Speaker 7: like I actually have to even though she's paid for it,

1033
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 7: even if she beat me to booking my own trip,

1034
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 7: to still say no. And maybe that will finally be

1035
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:21,279
Speaker 7: when it sinks in What about timing? Do you have

1036
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 7: any I think putting it in writing is a good idea,

1037
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 7: but I guess trying to find like a good time

1038
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 7: to talk about it, you know what I mean?

1039
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 2: Or I don't know any.

1040
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly today, you should do this today, like start

1041
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,400
Speaker 1: crafting that email today so that because the holidays are

1042
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,280
Speaker 1: coming up and you're going to face this issue again

1043
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:39,960
Speaker 1: and you have to give her something that's close enough

1044
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 1: to the holidays. It's perfect timing. Go in preparation for

1045
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 1: the holidays this year. That's how you could start it out.

1046
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:47,200
Speaker 1: I'm giving you this advance warning. I do not want

1047
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 1: you planning a vacation. Unfortunately, I've tried to express myself

1048
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 1: over the years, and you're not listening to me. This

1049
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 1: is what we're doing. We're spending Thanksgiving here or do

1050
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 1: you know whatever? You decide that how you guys are

1051
00:45:57,960 --> 00:45:59,400
Speaker 1: going to split like what you've been doing.

1052
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 3: And you can even give her the range of dates now,

1053
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 3: you know, because I guarantee she's already looking.

1054
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:04,840
Speaker 4: She's already looking.

1055
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:07,560
Speaker 7: For all like she's already booked it.

1056
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 1: I get that, But that's if you want to go.

1057
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 1: Do you want to go away with her this year?

1058
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:17,240
Speaker 7: Not over Christmas? No? And I don't, And I think that, yeah,

1059
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 7: Like I think from here on out, I'm just not going.

1060
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 4: And I think what's been tough is that like if

1061
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 4: I miss.

1062
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 7: That or like she's kind of been like score keeping

1063
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 7: or she kind of like tracks stuff. So it's like

1064
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,719
Speaker 7: for other family vacations too, She'll be like, well, you

1065
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:31,879
Speaker 7: can work remote over here.

1066
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 4: We'll pay for everything.

1067
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 7: Versus like kind of unders like she only accepts a

1068
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:39,520
Speaker 7: logistical reason for why I can't go. She doesn't really

1069
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 7: accept like a I don't have the bandwidth for it

1070
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 7: right now, you know what I mean, Like she wants

1071
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:47,360
Speaker 7: like a real issue versus like, yeah, I don't know

1072
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,080
Speaker 7: how to kindly explain, like it's not that I don't

1073
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:52,759
Speaker 7: want to see them, it's that I'm too I don't know,

1074
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 7: like I just don't have the bandwidth or the energy

1075
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 7: or I just like would rather spend that time doing

1076
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:57,440
Speaker 7: something else.

1077
00:46:57,760 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean, you don't have to say that,

1078
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 1: but you can just say that her controlling at like

1079
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 1: nature is taking the fun out of these vacations for you. Also,

1080
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 1: you know that it makes you want to withdraw or

1081
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:11,279
Speaker 1: retreat that you don't necessarily want to go because of

1082
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 1: her insistence upon going.

1083
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 3: And I think the blinding migraines are a really solid

1084
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 3: reason I do need to take that time to restore,

1085
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 3: because that's when people are gone, that's when nobody needs me.

1086
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 3: Like that, we find ourselves in that situation as well

1087
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:27,279
Speaker 3: as like people who don't live in the same place

1088
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 3: as we grew up, it's sort of on us to

1089
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:30,960
Speaker 3: travel and we had to make the decision a few

1090
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:33,399
Speaker 3: years ago of like that's the only time we get

1091
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 3: to rest for the year, so like we're going to

1092
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 3: stay home and we do miss Christmas with our families.

1093
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 1: Emily, what do you guys do with your families, your

1094
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 1: respective families and the holidays.

1095
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean it's pretty similar. Like we we definitely

1096
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 5: have to kind of like massage the situation a little

1097
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,840
Speaker 5: bit sometimes and like accommodate people. But at the same time,

1098
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 5: I think traveling is exhausting and I think it can

1099
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 5: be really hard on like your body, and so I

1100
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,080
Speaker 5: like being home for holidays and I kind of like

1101
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:03,800
Speaker 5: laid on the law with it a little bit. We'll

1102
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 5: do like Okay, we'll do Thanksgiving with you, but we're

1103
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:07,320
Speaker 5: not doing Christmas or vice versa.

1104
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:07,560
Speaker 6: You know.

1105
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's kind of one of those things.

1106
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 5: It's like you kind of like you want to be

1107
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,880
Speaker 5: there and you want to like show that you love them,

1108
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:17,279
Speaker 5: but only to a certain extent. Like sometimes vacations can

1109
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:19,120
Speaker 5: be like super stressful, stressful and.

1110
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 2: Hard, especially with your families.

1111
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 4: You know.

1112
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, and like the family is important, but also

1113
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 5: like if you you want to be like in a

1114
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 5: good mood, and having good time with people when you're

1115
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 5: on the vacation. You don't want to be like resentful

1116
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 5: the whole time.

1117
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,319
Speaker 1: Also, you can also threatn like like if you don't

1118
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 1: listen to me now, then our next step is going

1119
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 1: to therapy together, you know what I mean. If you

1120
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 1: don't if you don't care me now, we're gonna have

1121
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 1: to go to a therapist, because that's what you're gonna

1122
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:41,440
Speaker 1: have to do.

1123
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:43,240
Speaker 2: You're gonna have to have someone mediate.

1124
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 7: Mm hmmm, yeah, because I think that's what's the other

1125
00:48:46,239 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 7: thing that's interesting about She gets to plan everything. She

1126
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:51,359
Speaker 7: picks the destination and all of that sort of stuff.

1127
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,239
Speaker 7: There's no buy in from anybody, you know, Like there

1128
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,279
Speaker 7: isn't like a back and forth. It's just this thing

1129
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 7: that's decided for us. And it's just been hard to

1130
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 7: yeah that, and I'm getting like very resentful of the

1131
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:02,920
Speaker 7: whole thing.

1132
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:07,240
Speaker 1: So okay, well good luck. Let us know what happens. Yeah,

1133
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 1: I will, even though we know what's going to happen

1134
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:11,880
Speaker 1: right away. We want the long term repercussions or the

1135
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 1: long term outcome not repercussion.

1136
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 3: Email us after you write the email, and then also

1137
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:18,920
Speaker 3: in January, when you've had to have her cancel your

1138
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:19,600
Speaker 3: part of the tree.

1139
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, we'll see all right. Thanks Carle.

1140
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:25,279
Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much, Joe. So night's meet you.

1141
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:27,440
Speaker 2: Bye bye, Scarlett, thanks for calling in.

1142
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 4: Thanks bys nice.

1143
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 3: So let's go to another caller here. We've got Rachel

1144
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 3: calling in, she says, Dear Chelsea. I'll start off by saying,

1145
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 3: I have a difficult relationship with my brother's wife. They've

1146
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:41,480
Speaker 3: been together for over a decade, and our family has

1147
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,840
Speaker 3: stayed mom and just accepted the fact that she's not

1148
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 3: going anywhere until I found out that they've been having

1149
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:49,880
Speaker 3: marital issues and she suggested a divorce. As much as

1150
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:51,719
Speaker 3: I want to celebrate this news, my heart broke for

1151
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 3: my brother. Fast forward to now and I find out

1152
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 3: they're supposedly doing great. How am I supposed to accept

1153
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 3: this and act like I don't know about their past issues.

1154
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 3: Everyone telling me to leave it alone because I'm not

1155
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 3: supposed to even know this in the first place, But

1156
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:04,759
Speaker 3: I want to talk to.

1157
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 4: My brother about it. What should I do? Rachel?

1158
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 3: Hi?

1159
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:11,400
Speaker 1: Rachel, this is our special guest, Emily Harrington's here today.

1160
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 3: Hi.

1161
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 6: Hello, nice to meet you both.

1162
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 4: Hi.

1163
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 2: Are you hiding in a closet? Right now calling us

1164
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:21,000
Speaker 2: I am perfect. Okay.

1165
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:24,319
Speaker 1: So you heard that they were having problems from who

1166
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:24,759
Speaker 1: told you?

1167
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 6: I was praying?

1168
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:29,760
Speaker 1: Okay, And so you've never heard anything from your brother

1169
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 1: regarding that.

1170
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:33,400
Speaker 6: I have not heard anything from the source, but I

1171
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:36,720
Speaker 6: have heard it from now multiple sources at this point.

1172
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,920
Speaker 2: But you're and he's saying everything's fine with their marriage.

1173
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 6: Well, as of the latest update about a week ago,

1174
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:44,760
Speaker 6: things are back to not being great.

1175
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:47,799
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, Well, I think what you should do is

1176
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 1: very innocently let your brother know that you're there to

1177
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 1: lean on if he needs that. But I would I

1178
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 1: would assume, just from what you've told me and the

1179
00:50:58,200 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 1: fact that you are in a closet, that your brother

1180
00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 1: knows how you feel about his wife and is probably

1181
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 1: not going to come to you with any information. So

1182
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:10,759
Speaker 1: all you can do is just let him know that

1183
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:13,280
Speaker 1: you're there if he needs to talk to you about anything.

1184
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 1: And I wouldn't even make it specific to his marriage.

1185
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 1: I would just remind him that you're his sister and

1186
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 1: that you love him, and that if there's anything he

1187
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 1: ever needs or wants to talk about, that you're available,

1188
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 1: and I would leave it at that.

1189
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:29,760
Speaker 6: Okay. I've been thinking about doing that. I just worry

1190
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:32,760
Speaker 6: about by doing that, he's gonna know something's up, which then.

1191
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're going to like even if no one

1192
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 2: told you.

1193
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,560
Speaker 3: You can tell when people are like not getting along

1194
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 3: having a difficult time, Like you can just say I've

1195
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 3: picked up on some things, you know, if he asks.

1196
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:44,839
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's what I was kind of hoping towards. Like

1197
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:46,480
Speaker 6: the vibe seemed to be kind of weird.

1198
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 1: You can say something like that, but just don't be

1199
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 1: you know, like when people aren't revealing things, it's hard

1200
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:55,359
Speaker 1: to go in on them hard, you know, like tell

1201
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:58,520
Speaker 1: me everything, Like it can't be gossip. It's his life,

1202
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 1: So just be sensitive to the fact. Emily, do you

1203
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 1: agree with that?

1204
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 2: What do you think?

1205
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:05,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I totally agree.

1206
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:08,319
Speaker 5: I think being sensitive and being like, yeah, expressing that

1207
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:11,280
Speaker 5: you're you're there and you're supportive and you're a sounding

1208
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 5: board and you're always available to chat is good. It's

1209
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:17,120
Speaker 5: hard because you kind of like never know what's really

1210
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 5: going on in a relationship. Yeah, unless you're like in

1211
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 5: the relationship.

1212
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:24,400
Speaker 1: Even then sometimes you don't know what's going on, yeah, exactly.

1213
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:27,600
Speaker 6: And it just seems to be so like lip flop

1214
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 6: back and forth, so I never know, like where they

1215
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 6: stand one day, and so I'm like, when do I

1216
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:35,480
Speaker 6: approach it? What do I say? Yeah, even though I've

1217
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:38,120
Speaker 6: never said anything, You're right, like he knows my feelings

1218
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:39,800
Speaker 6: about his life.

1219
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:42,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's better to come, especially if he's having

1220
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 1: trouble with her like he might have. You know, Oh,

1221
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,799
Speaker 1: I can't talk to you because you already don't like her,

1222
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:49,080
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? You have to kind of

1223
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:51,959
Speaker 1: open up the avenue to say, like, anything is safe here,

1224
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 1: it's okay. You don't have to gang up on whatever's

1225
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:56,759
Speaker 1: going on with her. It's like you just want to

1226
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,120
Speaker 1: be there to be a support and listen to him.

1227
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:01,160
Speaker 1: You don't have to go, yeah she's such a bitch,

1228
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:02,879
Speaker 1: or I can't believe her. When are you gonna leave her?

1229
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 1: That's not the right approach. I think you should really

1230
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:08,400
Speaker 1: just be dialed into showing up for him and helping

1231
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:11,799
Speaker 1: him in any way that he feels comfortable asking for help,

1232
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 1: because men are hard to help sometimes, you know, they

1233
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:16,040
Speaker 1: don't they're not effusive like women.

1234
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:18,560
Speaker 2: We're not emotional. I mean, Emily and I were just

1235
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 2: speaking about that.

1236
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:23,320
Speaker 1: You know how it's so much healthier to be able

1237
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:26,279
Speaker 1: to express your emotions, and I think the people that

1238
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 1: bring that out best in men are typically women.

1239
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, especially my brother.

1240
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,360
Speaker 2: Yeah. So we wish you well.

1241
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:37,439
Speaker 6: Thank you, appreciate it was so nice meeting you both.

1242
00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:39,960
Speaker 2: Nice to meet you too. Take care, take care.

1243
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:48,400
Speaker 1: Take care, okay, and we'll be right back with Emily Harrington. Okay,

1244
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 1: and we're back with Emily Harrington from Girl Climber, which

1245
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:54,440
Speaker 1: is going to be available for everyone to see. It's

1246
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 1: a fucking awesome movie displaying true grit, true strength, and

1247
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 1: true determination three things and follow through. I think follow

1248
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:05,040
Speaker 1: through is the most important thing here. Setting a goal

1249
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 1: and doing whatever it took to get there, and making

1250
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 1: adjustments along the way after failing, after falling, literally falling,

1251
00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 1: and making those adjustments to actually achieve a goal. So

1252
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 1: it's a great example and testament to a strength of mind,

1253
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 1: you know, great fortitude. So thank you so much for

1254
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:27,480
Speaker 1: being our guest today, Emily. I loved the movie. I'm

1255
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 1: going to watch it again and again and again. I

1256
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 1: think it's just a great movie for every woman to watch. Yeah, agreed, Yeah,

1257
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:36,080
Speaker 1: thank you, well, thank you so much. Yes, take care

1258
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:39,720
Speaker 1: for having me on. Yes, absolutely, bye bye bye. Guys,

1259
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. They just went

1260
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 1: on sale this week. It's called the High and Mighty Tour.

1261
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:49,360
Speaker 2: I will be starting in February of next year.

1262
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 1: So I will be touring from February through June.

1263
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 2: So go get your tickets now.

1264
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 1: If you want good seats and you want to come

1265
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 1: see me perform, I will be on the High and.

1266
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 3: My Do you want advice from Chelsea, Write into Dear

1267
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 3: Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes

1268
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:10,399
Speaker 3: of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.

1269
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:14,880
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive

1270
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:17,400
Speaker 3: producer Katherine law And be sure to check out our

1271
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 3: merch at Chelseahandler dot com