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Speaker 1: What's the day after Halloween? Actually called though I was

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Speaker 1: gonna say happy well, because like Happy hallows Eve is

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Speaker 1: what people say that if yeah, you're like, oh, it's

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Speaker 1: just November.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to November.

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Speaker 1: Well, welcome to now.

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Speaker 3: We hope you had us and we hope you had

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Speaker 3: a nice Halloween last night.

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Speaker 1: Good one, Chip. That was really we really started this

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Speaker 1: podcast off with a bang. I hope you guys are

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Speaker 1: having a great brid morning. Day after Halloween. It was

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Speaker 1: either a great day. It's it rained here in Nashville

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Speaker 1: on Halloween, so that kind of kids I always think

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Speaker 1: about kids. I know, going door to door in the

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Speaker 1: rain just doesn't have the same effect.

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Speaker 3: You know, this wet candy, it's still candy, though, it's

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Speaker 3: still candy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll try well.

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Speaker 1: This week on Wednesday's podcast, I had Tyise Gibson, who

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Speaker 1: is a PhD and she is also an author, and

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Speaker 1: she does a lot of work about our shadow selves

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Speaker 1: and so we really if you haven't taught, listened to

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Speaker 1: that podcast. She gives such a great description of shadow self.

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Speaker 1: I always look at that as kind of negative and

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Speaker 1: sort of this thing that like you want to keep

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Speaker 1: in the closet and the you know the secrets, like

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Speaker 1: maybe the ugly parts of yourself. And the way that

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Speaker 1: she describes it is that three to five percent of

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Speaker 1: our brain is operating from our conscious mind, and then

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Speaker 1: ninety five percent of it is our subconscious. So all

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Speaker 1: the things happening in our subconscious are the shadows. That's

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Speaker 1: just the things that aren't really like in our full awareness.

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Speaker 1: But then something happens, like you get triggered, you get angry,

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Speaker 1: you get sad, and you feel irrational in those ways,

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Speaker 1: But it's what's going on in your subconscious that's triggering that.

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Speaker 1: So it's like the thing that's triggering you is actually

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Speaker 1: here to help you understand what's happening in your mind

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Speaker 1: a little more and kind of integrate those parts of

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Speaker 1: your shadow self into your personality to then be able

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Speaker 1: to like use them functionally or work with them or

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Speaker 1: heal them or whatever it is.

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Speaker 3: Can you tip the scale to where it's like you're

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Speaker 3: doing well well if you become aware enough of your

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Speaker 3: shadow self?

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Speaker 2: Can it be fifty to fifty? You know, I don't know, I.

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Speaker 1: Don't know what the percentages would be, but I know

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Speaker 1: obviously our goal and our goal to get into enlightenment

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Speaker 1: in this lifetime would be to integrate most parts of

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Speaker 1: ourselves that we can into the personality. And like, I

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Speaker 1: think what I really enjoyed about my conversation with her

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Speaker 1: was that, like I said earlier, there's so much shame

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Speaker 1: tied to like these pieces that we don't integrate, and

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Speaker 1: a lot of times those are the things that lead

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Speaker 1: to like addiction, dysfunctional relationships, choosing the same thing over

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Speaker 1: and over, Like if you find yourself in that repetitive

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Speaker 1: pattern of dysfunctional relationships, like I think, we can just

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Speaker 1: get really stuck in shame with ourselves. And the way

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Speaker 1: she was talking about it was more like, oh no,

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Speaker 1: it's just like we're literally just dismissing a part of ourself,

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Speaker 1: trying not to acknowledge it or pay attention to it

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Speaker 1: because we've attached some negative connotation to it. And if

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Speaker 1: we really just bring it into life, like out of

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Speaker 1: the Shadows, it's pieces of us to love as well,

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Speaker 1: and really a lot of times could be probably used

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Speaker 1: in our life for a positive you know, right, right. So, anyway,

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Speaker 1: when I was telling you about this and we were

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Speaker 1: talking more about the Shadow self and those parts of

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Speaker 1: the podcast, you were like isn't it interesting to think

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Speaker 1: about Halloween through that perspective? And obviously, with last night

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Speaker 1: being Halloween, I'm sure a lot of people either dressed up,

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Speaker 1: or their kids dressed up, or their friends had parties,

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Speaker 1: whatever it was. And so we were going to talk

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Speaker 1: a little bit about maybe the shadow self of your

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Speaker 1: costumes what that might mean about you. I thought it

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Speaker 1: was really interesting. I mean, you're I feel you're a

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Speaker 1: big costume guy. What is your favorite costume you've ever done?

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Speaker 3: I am a big costume guy, but I'm also like

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Speaker 3: an all or nothing you are, Yeah, and well I

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Speaker 3: have one sort of in between, like I'll do it,

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Speaker 3: but it's my lazy go to.

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Speaker 2: And my lazy go to is Santa. I've got this.

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Speaker 1: Really right, right right.

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Speaker 2: We've got a really cheat like.

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Speaker 3: Santa costume that's a million years old at this point,

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Speaker 3: and it's what I used when I have to dress

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Speaker 3: up but didn't really prepare.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's a good one. It's fun to

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Speaker 2: be saying on Halloween.

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Speaker 3: My favorite Someone reminded me of this one today. I

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Speaker 3: was Clay Aikin's number one fan Wow, And my friend

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Speaker 3: that reminded me said she just started laughing like it

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Speaker 3: was so good, Like I costumes, I'll tell you the costume.

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Speaker 3: So and I got the idea because I at that

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Speaker 3: year I worked for the Virgin of Megastar chain and

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Speaker 3: I did an in store like meet and greet with

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Speaker 3: Clay Aichin and we it was the first one that

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Speaker 3: I ever had people like camp out overnight to get

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Speaker 3: into the store, like to be first around.

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Speaker 2: It was like for Clay Aichin, and.

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Speaker 3: They were all like middle aged women. I mean it

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Speaker 3: was kind of like Swifties before Staylor Swift hadive oh my,

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Speaker 3: and it was before he was out of the closet too,

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Speaker 3: So it was like all these middle aged women that

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Speaker 3: were in love with this like scrawny little gay dude

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Speaker 3: from North Carolina. And they made like they they knew it,

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Speaker 3: like he had a cat that they all loved, which

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Speaker 3: is funny case SODA's Taylor.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. Was Clay ak In the original tailor?

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Speaker 1: Maybe so was Clay Achin, just it's like his second

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 3: Coming they made enamel pins and like exchanged them with

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Speaker 3: each other.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I saw it. So they gave some to me.

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Speaker 3: So I had them and I was like, I'm going

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Speaker 3: to be a clay Achin fan for Halloween. So I

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Speaker 3: ordered some elastic waistband mom jeans with uh. I got

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Speaker 3: a female jean jacket, you know, not like a Levi's

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Speaker 3: like cool denim jacketle like one that had like rounded

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Speaker 3: edges and hung a little lower and like deep pockets

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Speaker 3: and stuff. It was definitely like a woman's denim jacket.

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Speaker 3: On the back, I painted the and I'm not a

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Speaker 3: good artist, I'll make that note.

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Speaker 2: I painted Claykin's album cover on the back of it.

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Speaker 1: On the jacket on the back of This is where

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Speaker 1: you are really good. Though you said you're all or nothing,

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Speaker 1: you were so creative when it comes to your costumes.

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Speaker 1: He really does go all out and you're very crafty.

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Speaker 1: Like I just want to buy the costumes.

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Speaker 3: I have to because I get so specific that like it,

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Speaker 3: you can't buy a specific Yeah. Remember remember husband pillows,

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Speaker 3: you know they were the st like you it would

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Speaker 3: look like the back of a chair that yeah kind

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Speaker 3: of but it was something that you probably had when

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Speaker 3: you were younger, like in high school, and it was

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Speaker 3: like it looked like the back of a.

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Speaker 2: Chair with arm rests.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I bought one of those and I put it

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Speaker 3: in the front of my elastic was streams to look

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Speaker 3: like I had a really big FUPAOA.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right. I got it.

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Speaker 3: Rest like wrapped around my side, and then I had

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Speaker 3: a clay and fanny pack with my all of my

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Speaker 3: buttons on and a really bad wig.

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Speaker 1: How many questions did you get that night of what

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Speaker 1: are you?

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Speaker 2: Though? I mean it was pretty I would just turn

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Speaker 2: my back and like I had a name too.

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Speaker 3: I can't remember my name was, but I'd be like,

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Speaker 3: I'm so and so Clay Aikin's number one fan.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: So that was That was a good one.

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Speaker 3: But I think my my personal favorite was when I

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Speaker 3: was Risky Business and it was I was.

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Speaker 1: Sying because you always have to name it and then

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Speaker 1: he has to explain it all night. But it's so

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Speaker 1: fucking funny when he's explaining it that you don't care

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Speaker 1: that you're get this one.

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Speaker 3: I didn't have to explain because I was I was

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Speaker 3: Tom Cruise from Risky Business.

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Speaker 1: But the drag queen version, no.

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Speaker 3: No, I just I made the biggest penis and balls

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Speaker 3: you've ever seen out of pantyhose that were falling out

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Speaker 3: of my underwear.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Wait, you want to hear.

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Speaker 3: The funniest part was I did not know this person,

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Speaker 3: but I had to go to their house to meet

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Speaker 3: up with my friend who was in a three part

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Speaker 3: My friend was TLC with Mandy Moore.

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Speaker 2: Okay, and she was like, meet me at Mandy's house.

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Speaker 3: Is when you lived in LA I lived in Los Angeles,

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Speaker 3: so I said, okay. And at the time, Mandy was

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Speaker 3: with Ryan Adams, so it was also Ryan adams house.

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Speaker 3: So I was kind of freaking out that Ryan Adams.

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Speaker 1: Is going to be there, Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: And I had to.

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Speaker 3: Get in an uber with this costume on and go

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Speaker 3: and ring the doorbell at Mandy Moore's.

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Speaker 1: House with a massive penis hanging out.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I'm going to try and find a photo

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Speaker 3: for you so that you can share.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: But I will tell you I went to this.

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Speaker 3: There was a party every year that Maroon five held

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Speaker 3: that was really fun and we would guard I know,

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Speaker 3: I know, it's so fun, but that costume was the

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Speaker 3: one that got like the most people wanted in their

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Speaker 3: photo with me.

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Speaker 1: You won at Maroon No, I didn't.

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Speaker 3: I didn't win the contest, but like, just like all

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Speaker 3: these random celebrities were like oh can I get a

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Speaker 3: picture with you?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, the fact that you might be on

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Speaker 1: a various celebrities refrigerator as the.

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Speaker 3: Best, which was Katie Perry she was I remember what

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Speaker 3: she was that year? Oh actually, sorry, no, it was

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Speaker 3: Sarah Barrells.

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Speaker 1: She was I can't if I was standing around you.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I needed to have a brandy, just

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Speaker 1: like sneeping up the names right now?

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Speaker 2: Yea, she was Jane Wolf.

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Speaker 1: Wow, so many things.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, that was my favorite one. What was yours?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 1: I mean, how I should have gone first. I feel

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Speaker 1: like I've told this on the podcast before, but this

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Speaker 1: is basically the only time I've really ever dressed up

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Speaker 1: for Halloween. I did actually dressed up as Taylor Swift

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Speaker 1: one year, way back when like what era This is

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Speaker 1: before the eras. This was like before she was the

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Speaker 1: tailor that we know now. It was like teardrops on

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Speaker 1: your guitar or whatever, like old school. But that wasn't

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Speaker 1: my best So one year, me and two I had

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Speaker 1: two roommates. This is when I first moved to Nashville

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Speaker 1: early twenties. We thought we were really, really clever and

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Speaker 1: we made these like heart dresses, like they were big.

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Speaker 1: They were made out of felt and we like sewed

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Speaker 1: them together so that like our legs were coming out

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Speaker 1: the bottom, and then we had armholes and stuff. And

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Speaker 1: then on the front we took like puff paint and

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Speaker 1: they were all three different sized hearts, and so one

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Speaker 1: just said I have a heart on, one said I

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Speaker 1: have a bigger heart on, and mindset, I have the

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Speaker 1: biggest heart on. And so it was like it was

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Speaker 1: a big hit.

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Speaker 2: That's cut.

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Speaker 1: It was like cute and clever and like a funny

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Speaker 1: like are.

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Speaker 2: You in heels? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: We said like fish net hot, fish net stockings and

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Speaker 1: then heels. So those are my favorite. The interesting thing

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Speaker 1: about Halloween, you and I were both researching and I

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Speaker 1: was like, why why did this even start? Like these

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Speaker 1: traditions with dressing up, And there's a little psychology behind it,

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Speaker 1: which of course we live on this podcast. But it

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Speaker 1: said since ancient times, people have celebrated Halloween with various

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Speaker 1: rituals in order to frighten away spirits and avoid being

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Speaker 1: recognized by ghost. So people used to believe that by

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Speaker 1: lighting bonfires for celebrations they could scare away evil spirits,

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Speaker 1: and that by disguising themselves the ghost would not recognize them.

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Speaker 1: So really it was like the whole costume idea started

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Speaker 1: because they were hiding from something, which, if we're going

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Speaker 1: to actually tie it back to the shadow self, is fascinating,

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Speaker 1: isn't it. It's like we dress up to hide from

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Speaker 1: something we're not wanting to look at. Are our ghost

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Speaker 1: if you want to put it that way, right, So

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Speaker 1: we decided we would kind of dissect that a little bit.

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Speaker 1: I mean in terms of, like Clay Eggan's number one fan,

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Speaker 1: what do you think the shadows self of that is,

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Speaker 1: or what do you think was driving your choice to

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Speaker 1: dress up in their costume.

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Speaker 3: I did a little research about this too, because I

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Speaker 3: know what do I know?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 3: So one of the things that stuck out to me

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Speaker 3: was that it's more likely that what you dressed up

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Speaker 3: in your childhood as is a reflection of your shadow

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Speaker 3: self versus in your adulthood, because in your adulthood that

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Speaker 3: you tend to be a little bit more intentional. Although

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Speaker 3: the you know there is to use the Clay, the

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Speaker 3: Clay Aiken fan example, there is something in me that

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Speaker 3: wants to be the best, you know, like I want

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Speaker 3: to get the most attention, and I think part of

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Speaker 3: my the shadow self stuff was even though I was

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Speaker 3: I've always been like a boisterous person with a big personality,

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Speaker 3: like even as a kid, but I had I had

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Speaker 3: something that I was hiding, you know. So it was

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Speaker 3: like I wanted attention, but was trying to get people

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Speaker 3: to not like notice parts of me. So yeah, so

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Speaker 3: I think that that's probably the answer to that, is

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Speaker 3: that like I.

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Speaker 1: Wanted to make people laugh, You wanted the attention, but

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Speaker 1: you wanted to be in control of what attention you

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Speaker 1: were getting.

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Speaker 2: Correct. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So I think when it comes to these costumes, it

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Speaker 3: really like allow me to be the most absurd. So

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Speaker 3: I get a lot of attention, but it really has

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Speaker 3: nothing to do with me except for it points out

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Speaker 3: my creativity and like the effort. Yeah, like the effort

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Speaker 3: that goes into it, right, I think that's kind of

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Speaker 3: where that lies.

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Speaker 1: Well, I said to you before we started recording, because

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Speaker 1: I was like, I mean, where are we going to

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Speaker 1: go with this? It's like, you know, one of my

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Speaker 1: biggest rants about Halloween and the reason I've never fully

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Speaker 1: been into it as a girl is that I just

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Speaker 1: feel like it becomes this excuse to dress in the

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Speaker 1: sluttiest costume you can like, and it makes me upset

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Speaker 1: because I'm like, what are we doing? This is like

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Speaker 1: why are we dressing in these weird costumes that barely

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Speaker 1: cover anything and then parading around and you and I

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Speaker 1: were talking about that, and then I go, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: but wait, if you really think about our culture, like

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Speaker 1: if we wanted to take this very into the psychology world,

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Speaker 1: like if you really think of our culture in this

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Speaker 1: like patriarchal mindset or whatever. Women in my generation and

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Speaker 1: generations before, we're taught from day one one basically that

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Speaker 1: sex is bad. Be a good girl. Sex is about

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Speaker 1: pleasing your partner, like all of these marriage yes, save

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Speaker 1: it tal marriage and then if you didn't, you know,

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Speaker 1: you were a slut and all this stuff, and like

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Speaker 1: we were never really taught to really explore our own pleasure,

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Speaker 1: or a lot of us weren't, maybe I'll say it

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Speaker 1: that way. And so I think that's changing a little bit,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of conversations are happening around that. But

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Speaker 1: then think about you get the one day where it's

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Speaker 1: okay to kind of like embrace that part of yourself

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Speaker 1: and let it fly. And so then there you go.

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Speaker 1: People were and women were, and so in some weird way,

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Speaker 1: if you look at it from that lens, it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: the repressed sexuality is just coming out, Yeah, the shadow

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Speaker 1: piece of that. And it's like, really, what we need

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Speaker 1: to do is embrace our sexuality and integrate that into

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Speaker 1: our life and personality.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's the same is true for men

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Speaker 2: and gay men.

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Speaker 3: You know, having lived in Los Angeles and I lived

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Speaker 3: in New York, Colleen should be a national like a

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Speaker 3: real like you should get work off next day because

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Speaker 3: it's they're such big holidays in those cities, and you

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Speaker 3: see a lot of gay men dresses women. I mean,

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Speaker 3: you see a lot of men dress as women on Halloween.

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Speaker 3: But you also see a lot of just like really

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Speaker 3: in shape people. The guys want to take their shirts off,

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Speaker 3: like yeah, they want to be able to go to

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Speaker 3: a bar with their shirt off.

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Speaker 2: And you know, I don't know exactly what that means.

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Speaker 3: It could just be a bravado thing, but it also

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Speaker 3: could be maybe they were the Scaranni kid who got

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Speaker 3: beat up a lot and now they're in great shape

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Speaker 3: and they just want to like show their power. Look

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Speaker 3: if you got it, flawn it, Like I'm all for that,

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Speaker 3: and honestly, it would feel a lot less like slutty if.

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Speaker 2: You were doing it more often. It would just kind

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Speaker 2: of be like.

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Speaker 3: Oh, well, she dresses sexy, like that's the personality, right.

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Speaker 1: Or you wouldn't have the need to like parade it

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Speaker 1: around if you're living it out in your life all

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Speaker 1: the time, right right. It's just such an interesting thought.

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Speaker 1: Like I genuinely when when you first brought this topic

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Speaker 1: up to me, was like I don't get it, Like

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Speaker 1: how does that connect? And I mean, are we really

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Speaker 1: going to like psychoanalyze Halloween costumes? And then we started

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Speaker 1: to and I was like, oh my god, this is back.

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Speaker 2: It's really fascinating.

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Speaker 3: I found this like blog post that a woman wrote

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Speaker 3: who's actually a therapist. She doesn't she practices Amago therapy, yeah,

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Speaker 3: and she basically says, like, in this type of therapy,

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Speaker 3: they believe that we come into the world as perfect, complete,

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Speaker 3: vibrating balls of energy, and then we receive messages from

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Speaker 3: our caretakers and if those are like sensitive and they

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Speaker 3: talk about your feelings and moving and just being good,

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Speaker 3: you kind of stay in this like ball of perfection.

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Speaker 3: But if you if you're told like sit still, don't cry.

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Speaker 3: You're not smart enough. You were a mistake. Then you

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Speaker 3: start to put things in a box. Sure, And she

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Speaker 3: said that she didn't she never realized it. But her

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Speaker 3: friend pointed out, when you're like, hey, of course you're

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Speaker 3: going to be a queen, you like dresses a queen

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Speaker 3: all the time. And she was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 3: I'd never noticed that I was dressing as a queen

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Speaker 3: all the time. And it made her sit back and

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Speaker 3: do therapy on herself to be like, where is this

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Speaker 3: coming from? And she had realized like she was going

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Speaker 3: through a really tough point in her life where she

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Speaker 3: was focusing all her work and she wasn't spending the

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Speaker 3: time with her kids and her husband that she thought.

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Speaker 3: And it was the one night a year, even as

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Speaker 3: an adult, that she was like, I'm going to be

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Speaker 3: the queen, Like I need to be the most important thing.

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Speaker 1: Here, like a free pass.

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Speaker 2: It was a free pass.

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Speaker 3: And you know, she goes on to say like after

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Speaker 3: this incident, she sort of got her life together and

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Speaker 3: it was a moment where it made her realize that

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Speaker 3: she wasn't prioritizing the things that were most important to her.

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Speaker 3: And she doesn't dress as a queen anymore unless she

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Speaker 3: really just wants to well.

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Speaker 1: Because she's living it out in her life, right, That's

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Speaker 1: the whole thing. Like when we were talking on the

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Speaker 1: podcast on Wednesday, It's not like, oh, you have to

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Speaker 1: go make all these big changes in your life if

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Speaker 1: you have these like dark shadows or whatever. It's more

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Speaker 1: about basically what you just described. Where are we not

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Speaker 1: like paying attention to ourselves, and where are we neglecting

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Speaker 1: ourselves or dismissing our true desires because we've been told

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Speaker 1: we need to live in this you know, pretty little

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Speaker 1: box and it has to look like everyone else's and

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Speaker 1: all those kind of things. And it's really just about integrating.

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Speaker 1: Like I just keep using that word because I thought

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Speaker 1: I found that to be such a beautiful way to

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Speaker 1: look at it. Is like it is a part of you.

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Speaker 1: So you can either keep it repressed and continue to

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Speaker 1: live it out in subconscious ways, or you can just

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Speaker 1: say hi to it, experience it, ask it what it

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Speaker 1: wants and what it needs from you, and then integrate

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Speaker 1: it and live it out. Like you don't have to

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Speaker 1: dress as a queen on Halloween because you're living your

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Speaker 1: life as a queen every fucking day, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean?

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Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, it's really interesting because it's like you take

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00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,800
Speaker 3: the Halloween piece out of it. Yeah, and any decision

405
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Speaker 3: that you're making, Like I very rarely sit and think

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Speaker 3: like why did I decide to do that?

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Speaker 2: Why? You know, why am I not doing that?

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Speaker 3: Like it's it's really kind of about self reflection and

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Speaker 3: sort of getting to know yourself through all of.

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Speaker 2: The decisions that you're making.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, totally, even once it seemed mundane, I do think

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Speaker 3: it's really interesting that you can get you really can

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Speaker 3: get to know yourself better by reflecting on those choices.

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Speaker 1: Well completely, and if you really wanted to get deep

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Speaker 1: in like psychoanalysis this whole thing. Aren't we kind of

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Speaker 1: dressing up in costumes every single day to some degree?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Like what you present to the world. So do you

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Speaker 1: like that presentation? Does it feel like your whole self

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Speaker 1: is being experienced? And if not, what parts do you

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Speaker 1: want to integrate and bring out of the shadows?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I'm going to forget the name of the artist, but

424
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:41,960
Speaker 3: there I was struck. And I may have even brought

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00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,159
Speaker 3: this up once on the podcast, but a flock of

426
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,520
Speaker 3: dimes maybe is what they're called, and it randomly came

427
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,600
Speaker 3: on Spotify on a playlist, and this lyric jumped out

428
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Speaker 3: at me and I'll never forget it says, our bodies

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Speaker 3: are just a costume that we wear until we die.

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Speaker 3: And I mean even down to not what the clothes

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Speaker 3: that we're putting on, the shape of our bodies, our height,

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Speaker 3: the size of our dicks, like whatever it is.

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Speaker 2: It is just a costume.

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Speaker 3: That in cases are being And it was a really

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Speaker 3: like aha moment just hearing that because it's out of

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Speaker 3: our control. A lot of that stuff is out of

437
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Speaker 3: our control too, So it's like, if you can think

438
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,440
Speaker 3: of it like that, maybe people can start to love

439
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,639
Speaker 3: their bodies more and love themselves more and all of

440
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Speaker 3: the things because it could.

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Speaker 1: Be out of our control depending on what you believe,

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Speaker 1: or if you believe, like what I believe is that

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Speaker 1: we have multiple lifetimes and we decide before each lifetime

444
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,399
Speaker 1: how we want to come to this experience in this lifetime,

445
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 1: so that we face certain lessons to then evolve and

446
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,199
Speaker 1: grow as a soul, like as a spirit, and so

447
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:46,920
Speaker 1: your shell being a part of that, like you would

448
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:50,160
Speaker 1: have picked the obstacles you pick with your outer body

449
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 1: in order to like face certain things and have to

450
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:57,360
Speaker 1: overcome them and get okay with yourself because you realize

451
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,360
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, like none of these shells,

452
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,159
Speaker 1: we can't take them with us obviously, and like we

453
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 1: all age, we all die, we all you know, they're

454
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,880
Speaker 1: just like you said, costumes and it's not really who

455
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,639
Speaker 1: you are, right anyway. I mean, now we're getting all

456
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 1: heady with this. This is a lot of the edge, right.

457
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 3: If you want to play a little game, well, I

458
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:30,720
Speaker 3: want to. I want to run through some female costumes

459
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 3: and see what you think. And this is by no

460
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 3: means scientific. This is someone's like sub stack, but I

461
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 3: think that, like you know, like we're talking about what

462
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,400
Speaker 3: we think. I just want to I'm going to read

463
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,439
Speaker 3: a female costume to you, and I want you to

464
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 3: tell me like, yeah, yeah, okay, So this is a

465
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,159
Speaker 3: really simple one. It's probably pretty common. What would you

466
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 3: think it means if a girl dresses up as a

467
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 3: black cat?

468
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 1: Well you already told me this one.

469
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,679
Speaker 2: Before, I know, but you can just give the answer

470
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 2: just that.

471
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:04,120
Speaker 1: You're kind of basic and boring, is what I would think.

472
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:08,120
Speaker 3: And yeah, and didn't put a lot of effort into it,

473
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 3: like it could also be just that you waited the

474
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 3: last minute. Okay, and then we discussed this one too,

475
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 3: but you might be able to elaborate on this one

476
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:15,640
Speaker 3: a little bit more.

477
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,439
Speaker 1: Playboy Bunny, see this ties into me to the like

478
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 1: sexually repressed piece or maybe what you were talking about earlier,

479
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 1: how you're like, I want attention. I think sometimes women

480
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 1: lead with sexuality. This is totally my opinion. You guys

481
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 1: can like take what you like leave the rest. But

482
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:35,920
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we use our sexuality for power and

483
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 1: that can be a good thing. Like I think our

484
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 1: sexuality is powerful, but I think in our culture we

485
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:46,320
Speaker 1: haven't fully I guess integrated would be the word I'm

486
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,320
Speaker 1: thinking of again, Integrated what that means for women to

487
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 1: like own your power with it, And so a lot

488
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:54,679
Speaker 1: of times I think we tap into what we know

489
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,120
Speaker 1: men will respond to. And so like a playboy Bunny

490
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:02,160
Speaker 1: is to me trying to kind of get like sexual

491
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 1: attention from men because that's what that represents. And maybe

492
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,400
Speaker 1: that person didn't feel comfortable doing that in her day

493
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:10,360
Speaker 1: to day life.

494
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 3: Right, Well, this person thinks that it's basically just one

495
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 3: step above the lazy cat girl.

496
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 1: Well, so it's basically version of the slutty costume, right right,

497
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,159
Speaker 1: Obviously you're gonna be a playboy bunny.

498
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 3: Okay, right, right, Okay, what do you think might be

499
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 3: one of the most popular couple's costumes this year?

500
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 1: Tanya and Tanka from Chip Chip Hams or whatever it's

501
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 1: called the Chi Chip Crazy. Yeah, but like one of

502
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,640
Speaker 1: them dressed is Tanka the gorilla and one dressed as Tanya.

503
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 1: Really a couple, but obviously okay, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.

504
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 3: That's the one that I was going to say, yeah,

505
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,399
Speaker 3: because I think that one's all it's I mean, the

506
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 3: TNKA one and Tanya and Tnka, I think is the

507
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 3: more creative couples that are going to like lean into.

508
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 1: Like and I don't care about.

509
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:10,639
Speaker 3: Right, and the tailor Travis one is much easier. You

510
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 3: just got to get your boyfriend the fucking jersey, you

511
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 3: know what I mean, and then you do the work.

512
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 1: Or you get him the bucket hat. For some reason,

513
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: I envisioned him in like that hat. Look that there's

514
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 1: that picture everywhere. Yeah, no, no, okay, yeah.

515
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,399
Speaker 3: If you wanted to like be really empowered, like if

516
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,439
Speaker 3: you were going to dress as an empowered person, what

517
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 3: do you think a girl address.

518
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 2: As this year?

519
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: Is there an answer?

520
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 3: I mean, I think this is a pretty like I

521
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,879
Speaker 3: don't think this is the only answer. Well, I mean,

522
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,880
Speaker 3: I guess that's a good one. I was gonna say

523
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 3: Barbie because it's culturally iconic right.

524
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 1: Now, I feel like that was last year though, right.

525
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but I think you know, she's also been

526
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 3: around since the seventies, and I think explosion of popularity

527
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 3: last year.

528
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 1: How many Trump and Kamala Harris's do you think there.

529
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 2: Is a million? A million?

530
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:00,920
Speaker 3: Okay, I think I guess that's the end of my

531
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 3: game because a lot of these start to just sort

532
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 3: of be the same.

533
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 2: But you know, to summize.

534
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 3: That, I think it's really interesting that it's interesting you

535
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 3: can like really see into someone's personality. I mean, obviously

536
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,920
Speaker 3: as a kid, Like I was with Elle this weekend

537
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 3: and her kid, if you ask him what he's going

538
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 3: to be for Halloween, he'll tell you one thing, and

539
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 3: then five minutes later he tells you another thing, and I'm.

540
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,639
Speaker 1: Like, you know, like she looks at me and she's like,

541
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 1: I am vigorously on Amazon, like ordering various costumes right

542
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 1: now because you can't have.

543
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 3: Your kid upset, but it shows such like an interesting

544
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 3: side of them, but also like it reflects what they

545
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 3: think of you a little bit too, Like when they're

546
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,640
Speaker 3: telling you different things, you know, and then they turn

547
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 3: around and tell somebody else, somebody something different.

548
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:47,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. Interesting.

549
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

550
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 1: So I've got a question for you. Okay, if you

551
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,959
Speaker 1: were going to psycho analyze me on the fact that

552
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 1: I hate Halloween and I don't like to dress up

553
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: for it, what do you think that means?

554
00:25:59,280 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 2: Oh?

555
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 3: God, I think it means that you kind of do

556
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:12,360
Speaker 3: all the digging every other day, and which.

557
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 2: We all know you do.

558
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:17,120
Speaker 3: You're doing that sort of psychological digging all the other

559
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:21,159
Speaker 3: days with the goal and presenting the most whole version

560
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 3: of yourself, and on Halloween you are covering that up.

561
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 1: So I would just want to be myself and so

562
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:32,399
Speaker 1: being in costume. That's a very kind take that feels

563
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:33,160
Speaker 1: very evolved.

564
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 2: Thank you.

565
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: I always have just said, well, I think it's because

566
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 1: I literally play dress up for a living like that is.

567
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 1: My job is to do hair and makeup and clothes

568
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. There is also I do believe

569
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 1: some part of my personality as a four on the

570
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 1: enneagram who feels like I have to rebel against something

571
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 1: that everyone is doing on a day, right if it's

572
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,159
Speaker 1: like I just always have this feeling of like I

573
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,399
Speaker 1: want to be an individual. And I think there's something

574
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: about the structure of Halloween that feels like it's like

575
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:07,199
Speaker 1: you're being forced into being in a costume, and I like,

576
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 1: for some reason, want to rebel against that. So that's

577
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: a little bit of a shadow interesting.

578
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense too.

579
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 3: That makes sense too, because I do feel like if

580
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 3: someone were having like a birthday costume party, you.

581
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,679
Speaker 2: Would like, yeah, you would like nail it, you know.

582
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know why I'd literally have

583
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,120
Speaker 1: been like this. I don't know. It's probably in most

584
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: of my adult life. It's like, but every now and again.

585
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 2: You enjoyed as a kid.

586
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure I did, because you get candy. Yeah. Always.

587
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 1: I mean I definitely dressed up every year. But I

588
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 1: don't know. It's yeah, And I think it's also something

589
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:43,439
Speaker 1: about it. I'm like, why are we grown adults dressing

590
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 1: and what are we doing? Something about it that feels

591
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 1: really silly to me. But you know, my friend and

592
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 1: I were texting because she was like sending me We

593
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 1: watched that The Secret Lives of Mormon's reality show. I'm sorry,

594
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,440
Speaker 1: I apologize for myself. We're watching it, but it's also

595
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:01,879
Speaker 1: one of those shows you're like hate yourself for watching

596
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 1: it at the beginning, and then before you know, you're

597
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 1: so sucked in you can't stop, right. And so we

598
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: were saying we could dress up as them and like

599
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,199
Speaker 1: the blue coats that they wear and they're like opening

600
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 1: kind of real Housewivy type moment. But then I was like, yeah,

601
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 1: but I'm not doing anything on Halloween. So but if

602
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 1: I was, that would probably you would be maybe be

603
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: would I something that you know relates back to your life?

604
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 1: I guess yeah, yeah, who knows it?

605
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 3: And that speaks to also, like you, no one else

606
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 3: is doing that as a costume, you would think, so

607
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,160
Speaker 3: you're like, yeah, I mean there might be. Yeah, it's

608
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 3: like I can remember going to some party in Hollywood.

609
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 2: I won't drop the name boy.

610
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 3: Well, like friends thought that they were like so craezy,

611
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 3: the most amazing costume that no one else is going

612
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 3: to do and getting there and like three other couples.

613
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 1: No, that's deficitsy.

614
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 2: That's the thing.

615
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 1: It's like, I can't I would have to have something.

616
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 1: That's so that's why the heart thing that I described

617
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 1: that I did agree to do. I was like, no

618
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: one else will be in this call students of yes

619
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: I'll do that. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, anyway, what

620
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 1: did you guys dress up as? And if you have

621
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 1: an interesting like analysis of yourself based on what we

622
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: just discussed from your costume, please send it to us.

623
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 1: I would love to hear this. I think it's so fascinating.

624
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 1: You can email us at the edge at velvet edge

625
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 1: dot com. You can also hit me up on Instagram.

626
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 1: I'm at Velvet's Edge, Chip.

627
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 2: I'm at Chip Doors. It's Chip d R S C H.

628
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 1: And as you guys go into the weekend and you're

629
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: living on the edge, I hope you always remember.

630
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 2: Too act casually.

631
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 1: Let's please act casual. That's coming week, it's election. Let's

632
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: all be fucking casual.

633
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, productive, right by bye,