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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four,

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Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger.

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Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On

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Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our

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Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

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Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

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Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get

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Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and twenty four,

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Speaker 1: first airing December seventeenth, twenty nineteen. Today we're going to

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Speaker 1: have a great interview with Christy Higgins Wilcox, who's a lawyer,

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Speaker 1: and her mother, Karen Higgins, a pediatrician who is one

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Speaker 1: of the first women in her medical school and definitely

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Speaker 1: one of the first doctors in her town who is

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Speaker 1: building a practice, well building a family as a mom.

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Speaker 1: So we're very excited to hear from them and about

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Speaker 1: what Christy learned about life and parenting from having a

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Speaker 1: pioneering working mom. In the meantime, the holidays are coming up, Sarah,

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Speaker 1: what's it looking like for you this year? A lot

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Speaker 1: of work, so, as I've discussed, Josh is fairly new

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Speaker 1: to his position, so taking one for the team this

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Speaker 1: year apparently involved signing up to work both the weekends

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Speaker 1: flanking Christmas and then also working New Year. So honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of gearing up for a lot of solo parenting.

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Speaker 1: I am going to give a gift to myself and

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Speaker 1: try to arrange some childcare for part of that so

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Speaker 1: that I have a little bit of relaxation time, but

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Speaker 1: there's also going to be some fun just kid time.

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Speaker 1: We're not traveling. I think we're both on travel bands,

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Speaker 1: as we have discussed, not really just that we're trying

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Speaker 1: to wait till Genevieve gets a little bit easier, and

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Speaker 1: felt like this might be a nice break to take

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Speaker 1: a break from traveling. It is our best weather season

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Speaker 1: in the winter, so sometimes it also makes more sense

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Speaker 1: to save our big escapes for the summer months, and

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Speaker 1: with my husband taking a lot of call this year

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Speaker 1: around Christmas, this definitely made the most sense. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess that's pretty much it. I mean, as you know,

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Speaker 1: like we kind of celebrate Hanukah so we're working on gifts.

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Speaker 1: But we're not super religious in any respect, so we

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Speaker 1: definitely enjoy Christmas traditions that have become very secularized. And

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Speaker 1: I'm sure we'll do some sort of I think we're

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Speaker 1: doing like a cookie baking thing with friends, so that'll

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Speaker 1: be good, but not not too many grand plans. What

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Speaker 1: about you, guys, you are kind of grounded, right, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: at that point, I'm pretty much grounded. We're not traveling anywhere,

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Speaker 1: so I can avoid giving birth on the road or

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Speaker 1: on a plane. But because of that, we are planning

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Speaker 1: ahead to do tickets for a lot of local events

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Speaker 1: over the holidays. You know, we got tickets for a

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Speaker 1: CIRQ Disola thing. We have tickets for a Longwood Gardens

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Speaker 1: festival lights in the evening. We have oh just all

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Speaker 1: kinds of holiday event tickets. I think my husband may

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Speaker 1: wind up going into New York with the kids to

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Speaker 1: see the rockets, but you know, it's I think I

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Speaker 1: may also try to get a little ahead on work.

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Speaker 1: We're not going to have childcare over the holidays either,

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Speaker 1: but I think we'll split some of it. My mother

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Speaker 1: in law will also be there so she can she

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Speaker 1: can take an hour or two here or there as well,

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Speaker 1: you know, because I need to get ahead on some

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Speaker 1: things to prep for maternity leaves, such as it is

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Speaker 1: when you are self employed. So exciting. Yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: mean I'm excited. I like being home on Christmas anyway,

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Speaker 1: because then we don't have to I mean, we've done

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Speaker 1: Christmas at relatives and you're always like packing so many

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Speaker 1: gifts and figuring out the stocking situation. And didn't we

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Speaker 1: visit you on Christmas? You did? You did? Okay? Well,

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Speaker 1: last Christmas we were to gather Sarah. That was fun.

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Speaker 1: That's fun. Once we travel again, maybe we can make

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Speaker 1: that happen again. Yeah. Well, although I think we may

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Speaker 1: come to Florida after Christmas or something that sounds like

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Speaker 1: much nicer. I think it's not a bad idea. It's

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Speaker 1: a good thing when you live somewhere that people actually

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Speaker 1: want to go to over the holidays, which is usually

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Speaker 1: not suburban Pennsylvania. But we appreciated you making the trip. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm from there and my parents are there, so I

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Speaker 1: have many reasons to go to suburb All right, Well,

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Speaker 1: let's dive into our interview. So Sarah and I are

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Speaker 1: excited to be here with our first mother daughter duo.

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Speaker 1: I have a joint interview with Christy Higgins Wilcox and

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Speaker 1: Karen Higgins, and so we said a little bit about

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Speaker 1: them in the introduction. But Christy and Karen, if you

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Speaker 1: could go ahead and introduce yourself to our listeners, that

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Speaker 1: would be great. Well I'll start. I'm Christy. I am

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Speaker 1: currently a human of resources, well head of human resources

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Speaker 1: at a bank of nine hundred people. Prior to being

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Speaker 1: an HR, I was the attorney for the same bank

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Speaker 1: that I'm now in HR, and I was also in

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Speaker 1: private practice for a couple of years before our Outside

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Speaker 1: of work, rather, I have one kid, Levi, he's five,

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Speaker 1: and a husband Andy. We have a bass at hound

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Speaker 1: named Dale and a little dropkick dog named Gwen. So

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Speaker 1: that's kind of my life outside of work. Well, I'm

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Speaker 1: Karen Higgins. I'm a physician and I've been a pediatrician

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Speaker 1: in a smaller town, Grand Island, Nebraska for the last

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Speaker 1: forty years, and I will very shortly be retiring after

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Speaker 1: that time. I have to not say quitting, Christy, quitting.

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Speaker 1: That's not quite right. You're retiring. I'm tiring. I'm moving

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Speaker 1: on to something more, something different. But a general pediatrician

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Speaker 1: where I've treated three generations of some families from birth

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Speaker 1: until they go off to college. So you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: excited about doing this, but also as far as my future,

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Speaker 1: and I think it's going to be a little because

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Speaker 1: I've always worked and one of the reasons we're talking

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Speaker 1: here but not working is really going to throw me

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Speaker 1: for a Look. I'm quite sure you will find ways

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Speaker 1: to fill your time. I'm not too concerned about that possibility.

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Speaker 1: But as you said, you have been working for the

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Speaker 1: past forty years, and that's after college med school in residence.

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Speaker 1: So those of us have been through all of this. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and Karen jo med school in the nineteen seventies then, right,

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Speaker 1: and there were not a whole lot of I mean,

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Speaker 1: these days it's about half women. And yeah, even my

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Speaker 1: med school class in the class of two thousand and

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Speaker 1: two was almost fifty to fifty fifty fifty. But we

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Speaker 1: started in two thousand and two, so what about you,

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Speaker 1: that was not the case, right, No, I graduated in

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Speaker 1: seventy seven, so there were eighteen women in my class.

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Speaker 1: Was the most that had ever been. That was a

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Speaker 1: class of one fifty. Wow. And the thing is is

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Speaker 1: that three years before I started, there were like three

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Speaker 1: women in the class, so you know, we exponentially increased.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, it was different. I will say the women

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Speaker 1: that we're in my class are very dedicated and continue

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Speaker 1: to be very dedicated to physicians, although all of us

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Speaker 1: are pretty much at the end of our careers at

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Speaker 1: this point and probably have seen a lot of changes

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Speaker 1: over the years. A decade. And so when you began practicing,

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Speaker 1: then you had three children, right, Well, I did not

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Speaker 1: have any when I started, because I'll tell you did

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Speaker 1: not dare have a child in residency or med school

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Speaker 1: at that time. It was just not heard of. And

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Speaker 1: the few that did, they did not have a lot

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Speaker 1: of accommodations for pregnant women. So you ended up, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe even six months behind your partner, your the residents

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Speaker 1: before you finished. So yes, I waited. So I was

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't say a late mother At the time. I

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Speaker 1: didn't think so because none of my friends had children.

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Speaker 1: But boy, when going into a smaller town, the first

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Speaker 1: question I got from everybody was how many children did

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Speaker 1: I have? So yeah, it was a real switch going

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Speaker 1: from a large residency program to a small town where

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Speaker 1: they were not used to having any kind of a

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Speaker 1: professional woman working at all. Yeah, but you had three

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Speaker 1: children while you're practicing, well I was, I'm sorry, Yes,

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Speaker 1: while I was practicing between you know, between age thirty

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Speaker 1: and forty, I have three children, and perfectly perfectly fine

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Speaker 1: kids that be well, that's Christie. Seems perfectly normal, and

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Speaker 1: they are all thriving professionals today, all are doing well. Christy,

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Speaker 1: as she introduced herself, she's my attorney. My husband's also

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Speaker 1: an attorney, so attorney. And then I have two other

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Speaker 1: children who are physicians, ones of cardiologist that is on

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Speaker 1: staff at the University of Nebraska Medical Center. And I

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Speaker 1: have a younger daughter who's just starting her pediatric practice

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Speaker 1: in Plaserville, California. Kind of learning what it's like to

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Speaker 1: be out there with you know, I will say this

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Speaker 1: demanding mothers, and so kind of fun because you'll call

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Speaker 1: me to ask a question about you know, probably nothing

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Speaker 1: really scientific, but just about general how do you handle

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Speaker 1: this situation type thing? So, yeah, it's been fun, and

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Speaker 1: so that's why I probably well, even though I'll be

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Speaker 1: not working as a as a physician, so to speak,

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Speaker 1: I will at least have a daughter that's going to

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Speaker 1: be still keeping me up to date on the medical profession,

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Speaker 1: which is fun. That must be so awesome. You'll be

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Speaker 1: able to talk shop with your kids like that. I know.

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Speaker 1: We went to Wine Country a couple of years ago

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Speaker 1: and I was sitting in the back and the two

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Speaker 1: of them are sitting in the front and they're just

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Speaker 1: talking shop the entire time. And I have nothing to

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Speaker 1: contribute here. You can talk with your father, because yes,

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Speaker 1: I can't. I can't do that time to time. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and so Christy, I imagine there you you grew up

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Speaker 1: as the daughter of a working mom at a time

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Speaker 1: where that was less common than it is now. Were

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Speaker 1: you ever aware that that was less common or just

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Speaker 1: it seems like this is this is what my family

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Speaker 1: he does. So it's very interesting. As I was growing up,

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Speaker 1: I never thought anything of it, especially my mom was

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Speaker 1: the breadwinner to I mean, she was the one working

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Speaker 1: fifty sixty hours a week. But it was just our normal.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't until I got to college and I had

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Speaker 1: somebody that I knew in college who asked me, I

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Speaker 1: can't believe you and your brother and sister turned out

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Speaker 1: so normal when your mom worked, And it had never

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Speaker 1: even crossed my mind that the way I was raised

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Speaker 1: was different, or there'd be any reason that three of

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Speaker 1: us wouldn't have turned out okay. So I didn't think

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Speaker 1: it was different. I also had a great great father

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Speaker 1: that I think was before his time in a lot

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Speaker 1: of ways. He would cook us dinner every night. He

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Speaker 1: did a lotter on the house. So it definitely you

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Speaker 1: and Dad definitely showed us a true partnership. Well, his

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Speaker 1: job was so much more flexible, and I think if

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Speaker 1: I had married a physician who was determined to work

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Speaker 1: his fifty sixty hours a week, I don't know what

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Speaker 1: I would done. It would and as it was too

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Speaker 1: because we had such different jobs, we didn't talk. We

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Speaker 1: did not talk shop when we got home, you know.

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Speaker 1: So it was just you know, family type discussions when

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Speaker 1: we were there. And like Chrissy said, we always said

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Speaker 1: that's one thing. We were always able to have evening

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Speaker 1: dinners together, even if it was eight or nine o'clock. Yes, Chris,

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Speaker 1: remember you came home from college when I eat at

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Speaker 1: five thirty and we were looking at you, what, yes?

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Speaker 1: Is that even allowed? I think at a sorority house

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Speaker 1: they fed us at five thirty every day. I'm a

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Speaker 1: creature of habit. Yeah, well that is us, and we're

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Speaker 1: going to take a quick break for our ad and

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Speaker 1: we will be back to learn more about what life

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Speaker 1: looked like in the Higgins household. We know you're busy,

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Speaker 1: but is there something that's interfering with your happiness or

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Speaker 1: counselor you'll love that's betterhelp dot com slash best of.

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Speaker 1: Well we are back with Christy Higgins Wilcox and Karen Higgins,

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Speaker 1: our mother daughter duo, who is talking about their talking

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Speaker 1: about their careers, their parenting strategies, what they've learned from

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Speaker 1: each other. So when we left before the ad break,

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Speaker 1: we were talking about what things look like in the

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Speaker 1: Higgins house growing up and learns that mister Higgins had

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Speaker 1: a more flexible schedule as a lawyer. And so why

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Speaker 1: don't you guys talk about what strategies you use during

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Speaker 1: this time of you know, the when things were still

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Speaker 1: kind of not that many two career couples, certainly not

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Speaker 1: that many female physicians and raising three children in a

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Speaker 1: small town. What strategies did you guys use to make

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Speaker 1: it work? Well, I think the main thing that we

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Speaker 1: need to bring up was my daycare provider. We had

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Speaker 1: the same wonderful, wonderful woman, Ruth was with us for

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Speaker 1: twenty one years. Wow. And if Without Ruth, I could

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Speaker 1: not have done it. She's a faithful person, loved my children,

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Speaker 1: you know, just looked over them. But I think the

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Speaker 1: thing is Ruth was a quiet person. You know. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I think you can get it if you want to

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Speaker 1: call it a nanny home care provider, that really can

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Speaker 1: influence your children. And I loved Ruth, but I don't

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Speaker 1: think he was a huge influence on you. She other

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Speaker 1: than loved you know, he gave me the love. Ruth

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Speaker 1: was great. She would take us to all of our

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Speaker 1: after school activities. She did all your laundry. I mean

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Speaker 1: one thing when I when I thought of this idea

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Speaker 1: for this podcast, I mean one thing my mom did

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Speaker 1: a fantastic job, which I think again kind of head

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Speaker 1: ahead of her time. Is you outsourced like nobody's business

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Speaker 1: and you made it okay. I mean we did someone

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Speaker 1: come and clean our house. Ruth did the laundry. You know,

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Speaker 1: my dad cooked, so it was such a collaborative effort.

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Speaker 1: There was not this role model that you, as a

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Speaker 1: woman working this full time job, have to also come

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Speaker 1: home and cook and clean. I don't I think that's

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Speaker 1: pretty unusual, especially in the eighties and nineties. I think

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Speaker 1: that's very unusual to both of you, or I guess

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Speaker 1: especially to mom to doctor Higgins. So like, how did

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Speaker 1: you did you was a mom guilt a thing back then?

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Speaker 1: How were you How were you able to be immune

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Speaker 1: to that sentiment or were things just more undefined? I

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Speaker 1: was so overwhelmed by everything. I don't think I thought

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Speaker 1: about it. And I will say I had a very

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Speaker 1: traditional mother. I mean the kind of June Cleaver that

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Speaker 1: everybody of the neighborhood came over. She had the cook

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Speaker 1: I mean, you name it. She was the ideal. And

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Speaker 1: she's at ninety five, she's still alive and kind of

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Speaker 1: doing the same thing. But I think what I think

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Speaker 1: was a difference was I really felt with what I

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Speaker 1: was doing. I enjoyed it. It was very fulfilling, and

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Speaker 1: I think I felt like, and I hope now at

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Speaker 1: the end of this whole career, I think I made

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Speaker 1: a difference in a lot of ways in the town

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Speaker 1: that I was in. And it was because I'm not

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Speaker 1: that Omaha. I know a lot of people don't think

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Speaker 1: it's that big, but still, going from a town of

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Speaker 1: over a million to a town of forty thousand, you know,

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Speaker 1: it was a big switch. And especially one where your

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Speaker 1: husband grew up in. So the people I associated with

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Speaker 1: were his friends and they still are, which are good people.

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Speaker 1: But so I just kind of made it my own way,

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Speaker 1: and I just kept going and didn't think of me,

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Speaker 1: you know, put one foot in front the other, I

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Speaker 1: guess is what I always did, right, one thing that Mommy,

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Speaker 1: you didn't know if I've ever told you this, and

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Speaker 1: to all the listeners out there, I think you should.

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Speaker 1: You know. It's about the big things, not all the

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Speaker 1: small things. I think sometimes we get so caught up

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Speaker 1: on having the perfect oh you know, cookies for to

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Speaker 1: take into school, or being the room mother and all

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Speaker 1: that's great. I'm not saying it's not. But what I

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Speaker 1: remember is my mom being there for those big things,

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Speaker 1: those big events when you know, my teenage years, breaking

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Speaker 1: up with a boyfriend and having her undivided attention. I

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Speaker 1: think as mother's right now, we worry about at least

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Speaker 1: I do, maybe not everyone does, but worry about not

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Speaker 1: being there for all those little things. And I have

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Speaker 1: to constantly remind myself that that doesn't it matters, but

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Speaker 1: the big stuff matters more. That's definitely true. And remember,

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Speaker 1: at one time I was making rounds in the pediatric

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Speaker 1: unit and Christy comes in just bawling. So here's I

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Speaker 1: don't remember if I sent to the hospital like, so

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Speaker 1: I'm just sitting here, you know, Okay, honey, let's go.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, I don't think they knew boundaries, whether

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Speaker 1: the plenty in the hospital house. You know, that's wherever

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Speaker 1: mom is, That's where I'm going. Well, Christy, I'm curious

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Speaker 1: when you became a mom, Like what sort of lessons

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Speaker 1: you took from your own upbringing and from your mom

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Speaker 1: that you find yourself now employing in your life and

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Speaker 1: the way you think about parenting. Well you First, I'd

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Speaker 1: say relationship with spouse. I mean that relationship is so critical.

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Speaker 1: You two had such a true partnership and I'm finding

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Speaker 1: my spouse Andy, He's amazing, But that was very important

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Speaker 1: that we had to have a true partnership. And when

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Speaker 1: we had a LEVI Andy takes the mornings, I take

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Speaker 1: the evening shift, and we just have a very oh

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Speaker 1: collaborative way that we raise our son. And I was

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Speaker 1: able to pick that up from my parents. Second, just

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Speaker 1: that whole concept that it takes a village. I'm not

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Speaker 1: being able to do this by myself. I have wonderful

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Speaker 1: in laws that live here in the same town i'm in. Also,

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Speaker 1: my parents are an hour and fifteen minutes away. I

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Speaker 1: have great friends here in the community that helped me too,

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Speaker 1: and I really got that from you moment. There's just

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Speaker 1: there're people want to help, people love to be helpful

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Speaker 1: and share, you know. And that's great for my son too,

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Speaker 1: to have so many people that care for him. The

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Speaker 1: other thing I was thinking is just my mom's amazing

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Speaker 1: at self care. We talk about it all the time

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Speaker 1: these days. But you always made sleep a priority. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I got it, Yes, And just little rituals. I mean

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Speaker 1: you still take a bath every night before you go

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Speaker 1: to bed, and just those little things seeing them over time.

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Speaker 1: It's important to have whatever feeds you as an individual,

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Speaker 1: and you always made that not seem like a bad thing.

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Speaker 1: So I mean even now, I'm an avid runner, and

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Speaker 1: you always exercised as well. And then I love to read,

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Speaker 1: and I never feel like those things are selfish, but

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Speaker 1: they're fulfilling. So I'd say those are the things. There's

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Speaker 1: so many more, but those are the things that come

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Speaker 1: top of mine. Is awesome and inspiring. I love that,

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Speaker 1: you know, because I mean, if I had married my

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Speaker 1: husband's not that much younger, but a little younger than

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Speaker 1: I am. And I always thought if I married somebody

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Speaker 1: two or three older years older than I was, their

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Speaker 1: idea of what a woman should do was much different

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Speaker 1: than what my husband thought. But as my husband's mother,

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Speaker 1: she never worked. But boy, she was not your typical

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Speaker 1: She was more like Maud you know from the series

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Speaker 1: TV series. She just was out there all the time,

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Speaker 1: very dramatic and again raised four incredibly dedicated to wonderful children.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, I never felt bad if my house

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Speaker 1: was messy when she came over. Let me tell you so.

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Speaker 1: And has that carried on? Do you feel bad if

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Speaker 1: your house is messy? Christy, you're horrible because my mom's

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Speaker 1: house was always Yeah, I mean, Christy says that, but

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Speaker 1: you know, yeah, it still bothers me when things aren't

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Speaker 1: picked up as well as they should be. But you know,

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Speaker 1: you think now she says about the cleaning lady, I'll

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Speaker 1: tell you we might have. But boy, if I came

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Speaker 1: home at you know, when I came home at seven,

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Speaker 1: you would never have a clue anybody had cleaned my house.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, but at least it was better than me

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Speaker 1: doing it, and first layer of dust was gone. So well,

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Speaker 1: And Karen, you just mentioned something about how you know

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Speaker 1: your husband being two three years younger versus two three

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Speaker 1: years older, that that there was such a change, And

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people don't appreciate how quickly

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Speaker 1: the change happened in there. Well, I was thinking of

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Speaker 1: that when I was when I went to university here

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Speaker 1: in Lincoln. You know, two years before I came, if

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Speaker 1: you were going, if say, through Rush, you wore nylons

387
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Speaker 1: and stocky well dylon's and gloves. When I started, when

388
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Speaker 1: I was a freshman, you did not wear bras. You

389
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Speaker 1: wore the same pair of jeans for a week. And

390
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Speaker 1: you had two years before me you had to wear

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Speaker 1: dresses to class. I mean, how in two years and

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Speaker 1: of course you had no guys whatever, there's curfews, no

393
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Speaker 1: guys game. How in two years from nineteen sixty eight

394
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Speaker 1: to nineteen seventy there could have been so many changes

395
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Speaker 1: in the way colleges and women were in colleges. Just

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Speaker 1: in fact, I was never told in high school that

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Speaker 1: I could be a doctor, never, so that the fact

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Speaker 1: that I ended up as one is just kind of

399
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Speaker 1: a fluky type thing. Well, but how did you know that? Then?

400
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Speaker 1: If no one ever said that to you? And well,

401
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Speaker 1: actually what happened? I mean, believe it or not? And

402
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Speaker 1: you don't look at my closet. I started out in

403
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Speaker 1: fashion merchandising. Oh really interesting. What do you do? You

404
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,440
Speaker 1: do homech you do teaching, you do nursing. I was

405
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Speaker 1: not going to be a nurse. Well that's but anyway,

406
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Speaker 1: but I went before I even started classes, Like even

407
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Speaker 1: though the huge university, they did have a hookup with

408
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Speaker 1: a counselor. And he looked at my grades from high

409
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Speaker 1: school and what I was actually taking, he goes, he

410
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Speaker 1: just looks up at me. Have you ever thought about

411
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Speaker 1: being a doctor? And that's all It took. That terrible

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Speaker 1: the first time anybody in my whole life mentioned maybe

413
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Speaker 1: this is something anything. I mean, whether it would have

414
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Speaker 1: been teaching. Nobody ever told me what you know, to

415
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Speaker 1: think about what I could do. I had no counseling

416
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Speaker 1: whatsoever in high school. But you know, school was just different.

417
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Speaker 1: I mean, you either failed or you succeeded. In highol.

418
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Speaker 1: There was no kind of middle ground, and nobody cared

419
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Speaker 1: if you failed. And if you're a woman, nobody, you know,

420
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Speaker 1: thought that you do a bunch of anything. So yeah,

421
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Speaker 1: I just took that fifteen minute little interview to change

422
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Speaker 1: my idea. I don't have to change classes. I already

423
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Speaker 1: had the classes I needed, just you know, to be

424
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Speaker 1: pre med. So that is such a fascinating perspective that

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Speaker 1: I guess until you said that, I don't think I

426
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Speaker 1: realized how quickly things changed and how I've taken you know,

427
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Speaker 1: I've taken it for granted that like you know, you

428
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Speaker 1: go to school and you can do whatever you want,

429
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 1: and that really was a reality. So that's going to

430
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,679
Speaker 1: gives me a little bit more hope, Like, you know,

431
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 1: what are the next twenty thirty years envering? Because wow,

432
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 1: that is amazing. Well, it's just weird, even me being

433
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 1: her daughter hearing that, because I always felt like I

434
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 1: could do anything. And it's not because I was a woman,

435
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 1: is because I was a person. So yeah, how that

436
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 1: changed and that that little amount of time is amazing. Well,

437
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 1: and then you know, let's say the women in my

438
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 1: sore already two years older than I was. You know,

439
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 1: they were all engaged by the time they graduated from college,

440
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 1: and by my year, there were plenty that got married

441
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 1: that you know the June and how are there always

442
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 1: the June weddings? But there are plenty of us too

443
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 1: that you know, waited for another five to ten years

444
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,400
Speaker 1: that I was married at twenty eight, and I thought

445
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 1: I was old to get married. Well, so you when

446
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 1: you and your husband got together, and did you have

447
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 1: conversations about this sort of explicitly like what you wanted

448
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: your life to look like, what your career plans were.

449
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 1: I'm given how much you know extra the perceptions of

450
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 1: what was normal at the time. Did you have to

451
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,479
Speaker 1: consciously push against that. I'm very curious how you two

452
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 1: navigated that at the beginning, you know, how you have

453
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 1: a couple that doesn't look into the future. We never

454
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,400
Speaker 1: looked into the like I said, we took one day

455
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,400
Speaker 1: at a time. I mean he knew because when we met,

456
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 1: I was, you know, had just been accepted to medical

457
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 1: school and I never thought because he was down here

458
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 1: in Lincoln doing you know, for going to law school.

459
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 1: I was in Omaha going to medical school, and I

460
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 1: just never thought it would last. Well it did, so

461
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: I figured if it lasted, you know that way, No,

462
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,680
Speaker 1: and he knew, I mean obviously went through residences. See

463
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,560
Speaker 1: when I did so, I think he accepted the hours

464
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 1: he knew I was going to work, which I think.

465
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that would be a lot of

466
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,399
Speaker 1: problems a lot of men would have, is that you know,

467
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 1: their wives weren't there in the evening. I mean, he

468
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 1: still doesn't care for it, even at this stage. He

469
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 1: still wonders why I can't get home at a decent time.

470
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,680
Speaker 1: But you know, he's never really balked about it either.

471
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 1: That's good to know, well, Christy. One of the things

472
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 1: we talked about earlier, would I talk to you guys

473
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 1: before this, is that you know most of your friends

474
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 1: are of course working moms now because that's more than norm.

475
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 1: But many of them don't have a role model, And

476
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: I wonder if you, what are some of the conversations

477
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: you have with them as they're like now figuring this

478
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 1: out for the first time theirselves because they didn't have

479
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,120
Speaker 1: mothers who modeled that. I wonder what some of those

480
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 1: conversations are like for you. I think there's a lot

481
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 1: of uns certainty or am I doing the right thing?

482
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 1: Am I making the right choices? Especially a lot of

483
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 1: my friends are in professional type careers, and I tried

484
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,679
Speaker 1: to remind them, you know, this was my upbringing and

485
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 1: this is everything turned out okay, And I'm not perfect

486
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 1: about this. I get cut up in minuture that doesn't

487
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,880
Speaker 1: matter as well, But just remind them about the bigger

488
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 1: picture and all those things. But it's a constant dialogue,

489
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 1: I'd say, amongst my friends and myself, what you know.

490
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 1: And the thing is too, me have so many more

491
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:30,640
Speaker 1: options these days than when my mom was working. You can't,

492
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,719
Speaker 1: like Sarah, like what you're doing now, you know, working

493
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 1: eighty ninety percent or going back to go, you know,

494
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 1: taking some time off and going back. I mean when

495
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 1: you were starting your practice, those were an options. So

496
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 1: I think in some ways that's amazing, But then it

497
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,479
Speaker 1: almost makes the landscape more complicated because it's like do

498
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 1: I work full time? Do I work eighty ninety percent?

499
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 1: All of those things. So yeah, it's a constant conversation

500
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 1: amongst my friends and myself. Well, one thing, it was

501
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 1: just kind of interesting when I I had to go

502
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 1: where I was going to go because my husband's already

503
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,159
Speaker 1: practicing law when I was finishing my residency, so I

504
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: knew I was going to go to Grand Island, Nebraska

505
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 1: practice and I'd done quite a bit of work out there,

506
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 1: because you know, I was able to do my community

507
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 1: service out there and some other things, and so they

508
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 1: knew I was coming out there and to be a pediatrician.

509
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,639
Speaker 1: And even though they more or less told me they

510
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 1: didn't want me, I mean they had it was apparently

511
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 1: there was quite an argument about whether to have me on,

512
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: and I know it was because they just figured I

513
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 1: wasn't going to practice that long or do my job,

514
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: and of of course I'm the last man standing, so and

515
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,199
Speaker 1: then I do did have And even though there were

516
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 1: only two of us as physicians in the tab, you know,

517
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: as women physicians are like ten years after I started

518
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 1: in this tab, one other one was my partner, very

519
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 1: good friend, and without telling her, they thought, well, maybe

520
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 1: we could ask Aggie if she wants to go halftime,

521
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,119
Speaker 1: and then you could go halftime without even talking to

522
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: her about it. And she was not too happy about that,

523
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 1: so I think, and actually I have to say having

524
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: Aggie probably helped too, because she also had four very

525
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,160
Speaker 1: very talented children, and you know, worked hard, and her

526
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 1: husband was an ob so it was particularly hard in

527
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,920
Speaker 1: their household. Although her mother did come to live with them.

528
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,640
Speaker 1: But I think the fact that she was so dedicated

529
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 1: actually was my Segon even thought of that. Maggie was

530
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,679
Speaker 1: probably my role model because she'd been there about two

531
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:26,640
Speaker 1: years before I started, and so that she did make

532
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 1: it easier that way. Now, I have to say, we

533
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 1: kind of were in two different if I can say, crowds,

534
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 1: so so socially we had a very different, very different

535
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 1: things that we did. But I would not have thought

536
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: that town was big enough to have two different crowds. Now,

537
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 1: come on there, it's always that country club crowd. I'll

538
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,679
Speaker 1: have to tell you that. And you know, and I

539
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 1: was part of that country club crowd that I don't

540
00:27:55,720 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 1: think country club women were expected to work. Yeah, very different. Well,

541
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 1: this has been fascinating. So we always end with what

542
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 1: we call our love of the week, which is something

543
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 1: that's just exciting for us at the moment. It can

544
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: be related to what we've talked about, it could be

545
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,160
Speaker 1: totally different. I'm going to go ahead and throw out

546
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 1: there that my current love of the week is our

547
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:22,879
Speaker 1: family's matching pajamas. So I elected to get on board

548
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 1: the Instagram bandwagon and purchase pajamas for the holidays for

549
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 1: every family member. So we can take that cute holiday

550
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 1: photo on the hearth right at the fireplaces, all of

551
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 1: us wearing our matching pajamas. And yeah, I'm quite sure

552
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 1: one of my children will have to be dragged, kicking

553
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 1: and screaming into doing this, but so it goes Sarah.

554
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 1: How about you? What do you have for us this week?

555
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 1: Just a shout out to excellent babysitters because they are

556
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 1: really not that easy to find. And my advice to

557
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 1: all listeners is it, if you do find one that

558
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 1: is excellent, you should do everything you can to hang

559
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 1: on to them, including, since this is a holiday season,

560
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 1: give them me really nice gift. Totally. You guys have

561
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 1: hung on to yours for twenty one years, which is

562
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 1: pretty impressive. So what about you guys? What's your love

563
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 1: of the week. Well, as we're taping this, it's November

564
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,960
Speaker 1: and my five year old son and I are doing something.

565
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 1: Each day we are saying what we were thankful for,

566
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 1: and I'm writing it down. It's been super funny and

567
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 1: fun just I mean, one day he was thankful for

568
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 1: the trampoline park. But my hope is to do it

569
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 1: year after a year and just when he's fifteen or

570
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 1: sixteen show him what he was thankful for when he

571
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 1: was five. I love that. That's great, Karen, you got

572
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 1: one for us. Mean cleaning out Christie's bedroom after twenty

573
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 1: years or someone was talking about Actually I did that

574
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 1: last weekend. I have some stuff in the back of

575
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 1: the car, Honey to try to give you. Actually, I

576
00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 1: don't know. I do love reading, and I never is

577
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: one thing I did not do when my kids were little.

578
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 1: And there are certain series that I like and I

579
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 1: don't know. Michael Connolly writes about Harry Bosh. I don't

580
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: know if you know. Anyway, he just had a new

581
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 1: book out last week and I'm about a third of

582
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 1: the way through. I'm going to finish it. That's awesome,

583
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 1: but it does get me easing into retirement. You know,

584
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 1: you'll have lots of time, hopefully for reading the whole

585
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 1: library of stuff you didn't get to before. So that

586
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,000
Speaker 1: sounds great. Well, thank you to so much for coming

587
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 1: on the program. It's been a delight to talk with you.

588
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Oh, thank you. This has been fun. Well,

589
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:39,719
Speaker 1: that was great. I think we can segue to our question,

590
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 1: which I thought was a great one that came through

591
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 1: my blog. This comes from reader Erica, who, for background,

592
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 1: has two children around each two and eight. At this point,

593
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 1: all right, I have a question, maybe for best of

594
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 1: both worlds, about how you handle afternoons with a napper.

595
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 1: My toddler naps until about three point thirty. By that

596
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 1: time he has a new diaper and a snack ready,

597
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 1: and by the time we're ready to leave the house

598
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: it's at least four, often closer to four thirty. That

599
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 1: gives us about one and a half or two hours

600
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 1: we can be out before dinner, bath, in bed, and

601
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: over the summer we typically go to the playground or

602
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: do other outdoor activities. But now it's pitch dark at

603
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 1: four forty five, so at best we can spend half

604
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: an hour playing. Other destinations like museums typically close at five,

605
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 1: and this isn't a good time for running errands since

606
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: the grocery store is mobbed with harrod commuters agree with that.

607
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 1: I found that very often we just end up staying home,

608
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 1: which is fine for about an hour, but around five

609
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 1: my kids starts bouncing off the walls, and by then

610
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 1: it's already dark. So what do you do in force

611
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: an earlier nap, wake up and brisk departure to an activity,

612
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 1: meander out for a sunset walk at four thirty, stay

613
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 1: inside and practice meditation while your kid unravels every roll

614
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,239
Speaker 1: of toilet paper in the house. I like that, what

615
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: do you do? Yeah, well I was. I was a

616
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: little confused on this, so Harry communed. So she's talking

617
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,440
Speaker 1: about during the workday. So this is somebody who would

618
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 1: be I guess, home with the kids during the day.

619
00:31:56,520 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 1: So no, no, I think she's talking about wekends this

620
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: she worked full time. She's talking about, like how when

621
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: you go to the grocery store on Sunday. I guess

622
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 1: she says, Harry commuters. I think she means that by

623
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: like the people who work are all like going crazy.

624
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 1: I don't know why she said commuters, but you're right.

625
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 1: I think she's speaking about because she's talking about the

626
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:19,959
Speaker 1: kid days with kids here, I mean, the same thing applies.

627
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 1: I mean, if you're home with little kids, yes, you

628
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: still have that post nap spot during the workday to

629
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: deal with. And true, you might be inconvenient to be

630
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 1: out with the Harry commuters. I totally get that. Yeah,

631
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 1: so you had some good answers. Yeah, so my vote

632
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 1: was for Yeah, her first suggestion was, do you like

633
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: just jump out of the house after the nap. That's

634
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 1: kind of what we do, and I can be a

635
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 1: little forceful about it, and I kind of get the

636
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 1: big kids ready, so it's like, okay, when Genevieve is up,

637
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 1: we're gonna like literally take ten minutes and you can

638
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 1: eat your she can eat a snack in the car,

639
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 1: like I'll give her a pouch in the car, especially

640
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 1: if it is on the later side, and I know

641
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 1: that that's kind of our only chance to do something.

642
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: The other thing is, you know, you may want to

643
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 1: think about moving nap a little early if you can.

644
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:04,479
Speaker 1: I find that actually benefits night sleep a little bit.

645
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 1: Not to have the nap be too late, especially on weekends,

646
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 1: because you can end up like really busy in the

647
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 1: morning and then the nap starts and ends really late,

648
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,719
Speaker 1: and then bedtime is like a disaster. So I'm all

649
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 1: about a little bit earlier nap or shorter nap. It

650
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:19,520
Speaker 1: depends on the kid. I've had some kids that if

651
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 1: you you know, wake them midnap, it's like the world's

652
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 1: biggest mistake and it's just not even worth it. Genevieve

653
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 1: is actually not too terrible when you interrupt a nap,

654
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 1: so you know that your mileage may vary depending on

655
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 1: the kid. My other things are to look for the

656
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 1: few places that are open later. I mean, we have

657
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 1: one fantastic kids museum that's open till six on Sundays,

658
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 1: and you can better bet we are members planning playdate

659
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 1: dinners or other social events for Sunday night. In Miami Beach.

660
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,479
Speaker 1: Once we kind of had a nice social network going.

661
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: We did a lot of this. We haven't built up

662
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 1: as strong yet here, but it is kind of a

663
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 1: nice way to cap your weekend. And even if you're

664
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 1: in the house, the kids don't generally go crazy in

665
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 1: the house when they have friends there. It's a little

666
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 1: it's a different vibe. And then fine, you can always

667
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 1: enact the nuclear option. No, I'm just kidding, it's not

668
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: the nuclear option option. Screen time is okay. The winter

669
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 1: seems like a very appropriate time for screen time. Make

670
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 1: your morning super active so that you know when I

671
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:19,280
Speaker 1: often let the big kids do some kind of screen

672
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,399
Speaker 1: time while Genevieve naps, and then when she gets up

673
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 1: she can watch what she wants and then they have

674
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: to do something that's like inside. But I try to

675
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 1: get them off the screen stall, but like, okay, you

676
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 1: did two hours of iPad, so now it's time for

677
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,160
Speaker 1: you to play legos or draw or something and she

678
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 1: can watch Pink Delicious. And then by doing that, I've

679
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:36,360
Speaker 1: kind of engineered myself, like, you know, four hours of

680
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,799
Speaker 1: fairly quiet time. I'm not saying this works all the time,

681
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 1: and I think it would probably get old. But on

682
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 1: those nights when you just you know, it's dragged late,

683
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 1: or you've been active and you're tired, it is a

684
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 1: fantastic option. Yeah. You know, some other readers responded to this, right,

685
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 1: that got You've got some comments from other people who

686
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 1: are answering that same question. Yeah, someone mentioned going to

687
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 1: McDonald's for a play spase that that was a rate

688
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 1: success and very cheap. That's a very good point because

689
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,800
Speaker 1: they don't have like early closure hours. And then somebody

690
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 1: else just sort of gave empathy, but did suggest that

691
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 1: the library is a destination that can be openly a

692
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,279
Speaker 1: couple of nights a week, depending on your location. What

693
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 1: about you, guys, what do you tend to do? Or

694
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 1: a bookstore? I mean a book bookstores have commercial hours, right,

695
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,720
Speaker 1: so they're not going to close that at five o'clock either,

696
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 1: especially like a big chain store, like a local one might,

697
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,760
Speaker 1: but a big chain is going to Barnes and Nobles.

698
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 1: Problem where Barnes and Nobles got the train table and

699
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 1: it's open, so just head on over. Yeah, no, I

700
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: I sympathize that this too, and this is you know,

701
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 1: definitely something we're going to be dealing with when we

702
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 1: have a little one, in addition to having our big

703
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 1: kids too. You know, I'm a I'm a big fan

704
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 1: of checking for later hours on certain museums or play places.

705
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 1: You know, get outside for a thirty minute walk. It's

706
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 1: it's totally fine, you know, push that you're out the

707
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 1: door by three fifty or whatever. Go for a thirty

708
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 1: minute walk, or go to a playground. If the playground

709
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 1: has like, you know lights, which some do you know,

710
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 1: the like baseball field type lights or whatever fits by

711
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 1: one of those, then great. You know you could stay

712
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 1: there while it's dark. You know, you could come back

713
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: to your house and if you play in the backyard

714
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 1: and the cold, I mean it's it's okay to do

715
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:19,800
Speaker 1: something like that. And you know you could also try

716
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 1: doing later stuff. I mean, you can bust the evening,

717
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 1: you know, dinner, bath, bed routine. If you want, Sometimes

718
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,720
Speaker 1: you go out to dinner somewhere. I mean with a toddler.

719
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 1: It's not going to be fancy, but you could go

720
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: to like a diner or something like that, to big

721
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 1: stand that as well, like the or like a pub

722
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 1: you know where it's like, okay, there's enough for them

723
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 1: to do. Everyone's noisy anyway, so it's a drink a beer.

724
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 1: It's it's good. It's good. It's good. And you know,

725
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: you can also divide and conquer on this too. I mean,

726
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 1: if if one parent can take other bigger kids, because

727
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 1: it sounds like this family has bigger kids too. You know,

728
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 1: one can take the big kids out to do something

729
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 1: and or the little one out to eat. You know it.

730
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to all be on you or like,

731
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: it's not automatically mom's job to figure out the post

732
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 1: nap activity every day. Well, the good news is, oh,

733
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:08,879
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I know this person, and I'm

734
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:13,799
Speaker 1: sure it's a collaborative effort. She's probably excellent, both of them. Okay, Well,

735
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 1: this has been best of both worlds. We've been doing

736
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 1: our interview with the Higgins Ladies about their life and

737
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 1: we will be back next week with more on making

738
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 1: work in life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can

739
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:32,080
Speaker 1: find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at

740
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 1: the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can find me

741
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 1: Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the

742
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:43,440
Speaker 1: best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time

743
00:37:43,719 --> 00:38:00,120
Speaker 1: for more on making work and life work together. M