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Speaker 1: Let's be honest. Life is stressful, its work, its relationships

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Speaker 1: love the soundscapes. Nothing like a little rain on leaves

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Speaker 1: with Calm for a couple of years now, and I'd

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Speaker 1: love for you to check out my series on reducing

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Speaker 1: overwhelm eight short practices Quick Relief. Right now, listeners of

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Speaker 1: Calm Your Mind, Change Your Life.

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Speaker 2: The number one health and wellness podcast.

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Speaker 1: Jay Setty, Jay Sheddy, Judy Jetty. Hey everyone, welcome back

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Speaker 1: to On Purpose, the number one mental health podcast in

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Speaker 1: the world. Thanks to each and every one of you

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Speaker 1: that come back every week to listen, learn and grow,

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Speaker 1: whether you're walking your dog, whether you're cooking, whether you're driving.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for showing up again for yourself,

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Speaker 1: investing in yourself, building yourself. I deeply, deeply appreciate you

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Speaker 1: being a listener, supporter, will wisher of on purpose and

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Speaker 1: know that we are constantly working to make this a

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Speaker 1: better and better experience for you. Thank you for all

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Speaker 1: your reviews that share so much feedback with us. So

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Speaker 1: so grateful. Now, a couple of days ago, it was

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Day and I've done so many episodes at this

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Speaker 1: point on love and relationships. Of course, I wrote eight

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Speaker 1: Rules of Love, which if you haven't read it already,

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Speaker 1: will help you find, keep, and even let go of love.

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Speaker 1: And one thing I was thinking about was just how

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Speaker 1: so many of us are disenfranchised with these big holiday

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Speaker 1: kind of feels right like this idea of this is

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Speaker 1: the day where you get to show love, this is

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Speaker 1: the day where you honor this person, and we realize, well,

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Speaker 1: it's a lifetime job, it's an everyday job. It's an

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Speaker 1: every day honor and privilege to be able to be

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Speaker 1: in love and have someone we love. And at the

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Speaker 1: same time, some of us have gone through a breakup

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Speaker 1: just before Valentine's Day. Some of us are single right

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Speaker 1: now and not even sure whether we're going to find

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Speaker 1: the right person or someone who gives us that feeling.

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Speaker 1: And what's really interesting to me is so often how

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Speaker 1: much we get lost in comparison because we're looking at

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Speaker 1: what are other people doing for Valentine's Day? You know,

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Speaker 1: what's everyone got going on? And what that can often

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Speaker 1: do is it can make us feel insecure, It can

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Speaker 1: make us feel inferior, It can make us feel like

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Speaker 1: we've got something wrong with us. Right. I think there's

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Speaker 1: so many ways to meet people these days, but we

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Speaker 1: all feel disenfranchised, disillusioned, struggling to find that one person

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Speaker 1: that we really want, and no matter the amount of

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Speaker 1: options that we have, I think a lot of us

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Speaker 1: sit there and go, what's wrong with me? Right? Think

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Speaker 1: about this for a second. When you've gone through a breakup,

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Speaker 1: how many times did the thought cross your mind? Maybe

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Speaker 1: something's wrong with me, Maybe I need to fix something.

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Speaker 1: Maybe if I did this, they would have stayed. Maybe

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Speaker 1: if I didn't do this, they would have stayed, And

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Speaker 1: we get lost in that spiral. Now, let's think about it.

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Speaker 1: If you're single and you see everyone around you in

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Speaker 1: happy relationships. They've found their person, they've found their one,

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Speaker 1: and you're thinking, again, well, what am I doing wrong?

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Speaker 1: Is there something I could do better? Maybe if I

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Speaker 1: looked better, maybe if I achieved more, Maybe if I

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Speaker 1: did better at work. Maybe if my body looked this way,

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Speaker 1: my face looked this way, maybe then maybe then maybe then.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that all these things don't make

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Speaker 1: us feel better or don't lead to attracting certain people

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Speaker 1: at least, or whatever it may be. We recognize that

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Speaker 1: even when people end up in relationships, sometimes we sabotage

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Speaker 1: a great relationship because we're thinking, I don't deserve this person. Right,

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Speaker 1: you get someone who quote unquote is out of your league?

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Speaker 1: What does that even mean? Right? All of these terms

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Speaker 1: that have been built around comparing the way people look,

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Speaker 1: how much money people make, and so even people in

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Speaker 1: relationships can often end up feeling like they don't deserve

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Speaker 1: that person, that they're out the person's league, that the

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Speaker 1: person's out of their league, that the person's not doing

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Speaker 1: well enough career wise, that they're not doing well enough

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Speaker 1: career wise. And what I've realized from all of this pressure,

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Speaker 1: all of this conversation that goes on inside our mind

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Speaker 1: is that we haven't learned how to build inner confidence.

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Speaker 1: We focus so much on external and outer confidence that

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Speaker 1: we don't really know the pathway to inner confidence. And

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Speaker 1: I think when we think about the word confidence, we

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Speaker 1: think about people with swag, people who walk into a

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Speaker 1: room and they have that energy. People who walk into

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Speaker 1: that room and they own the space. People who walk

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Speaker 1: into a room and they're able to command the space,

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Speaker 1: command their words. And I want to share with you

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Speaker 1: probably one of my favorite definitions in the dictionary, and

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Speaker 1: it's of confidence. One of the definitions of confidence is

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Speaker 1: a feeling of self assurance arising from one's appreciation of

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Speaker 1: one's own abilities or qualities. Say that again. Confidence is

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Speaker 1: a feeling of self assurance arising from one's appreciation of

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Speaker 1: one's own abilities or qualities. Confidence is a feeling of

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Speaker 1: self assurance. It's something you give yourself by appreciating your

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Speaker 1: own abilities and qualities. I want you to make a

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Speaker 1: list right now, as awkward as it is, get a

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Speaker 1: pen and paper out, open up your notes app and

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Speaker 1: genuinely make a list of In one list your abilities

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Speaker 1: and in one list your qualities. Your ability could be

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Speaker 1: something like, I'm really great at cooking, I'm really great

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Speaker 1: at math, I'm really great at solving problems. I'm really

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Speaker 1: great at analytics, at data presentations, at social media, at podcasting,

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Speaker 1: whatever it may be. And then make a list of

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Speaker 1: your qualities. Kindness, compassionate, love, hardworking, ethical, authentic, Make a list.

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Speaker 1: Make a list, as awkward as it is. And this

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Speaker 1: is the challenge, right. We find it awkward, not only

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Speaker 1: let alone to appreciate our abilities. We find it awkward

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Speaker 1: just to lay them out, just to be honest about them,

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Speaker 1: just to be conscious about them. And so first I

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Speaker 1: want you to write a list of your abilities, write

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Speaker 1: a list of your qualities. And then I want you

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Speaker 1: to practice some self appreciation. I want you to say,

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that I have X ability. I appreciate my

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Speaker 1: ability to X. I appreciate that I am X. Right,

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Speaker 1: what is it? I want you to practice that for

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Speaker 1: each line, I appreciate that I'm kind, I appreciate that

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Speaker 1: I am compassionate, I appreciate Because what's really interesting is

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Speaker 1: what we appreciate, appreciate, right, what we appreciate in our

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Speaker 1: life will elevate our life, will continue to grow in

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Speaker 1: our life. Yet what we don't recognize will start to

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Speaker 1: wither or start to wash away, will start to become

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Speaker 1: less and less and less. Right, if you notice there's

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Speaker 1: something in your life, it grows. If you don't notice

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Speaker 1: something in your life, it does. And I want us

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Speaker 1: to focus on what we want to grow in our lives.

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Speaker 1: Confidence is the belief that I matter, my work matters,

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Speaker 1: and my relationships matter. What's really interesting is that we

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Speaker 1: don't recognize that we matter inherently. The Vaders talk about

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Speaker 1: how there's eight million, four hundred thousand species of life.

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Speaker 1: The human form of life is rare, it's unique, it's powerful.

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Speaker 1: You matter from the moment you're conceived, you matter from

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Speaker 1: before the moment you're born. But it's so interesting how

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Speaker 1: society has made us believe that we don't matter, and

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Speaker 1: we lose the understanding that we have the ability to

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Speaker 1: influence and impact our own life. I'm not saying circumstances

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Speaker 1: don't matter. I'm not saying environment doesn't matter. Of course

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Speaker 1: it does. But at the same time, choice matters the

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Speaker 1: same times, decisions matter the same times, pivots matter the

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Speaker 1: same time, making shifts matter. And I think the way

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Speaker 1: we get lost in this world of developing confidence is

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Speaker 1: we forget that confidence is about how you feel about yourself.

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Speaker 1: Outer confidence is how you appear to the world, and

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Speaker 1: inner confidence is what you go to sleep with and

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Speaker 1: wake up with. What is that thought that you go

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Speaker 1: to sleep with about yourself? What is that thought you

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Speaker 1: wake up with about yourself? That is what inner confidence is.

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Speaker 1: And we all know that that's the most intimate, most

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Speaker 1: personal experience of a thought that we have. And it

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter how many people told you you looked amazing,

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Speaker 1: that you did amazing. We all know at whatever level

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Speaker 1: that is, it doesn't fill our cup. It makes us

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Speaker 1: feel great. Don't get me wrong. I love it when

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Speaker 1: someone compliments an outfit. I love it when someone says

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Speaker 1: to me that they appreciated something in my external confidence,

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Speaker 1: in my outer confidence. But I know that it means

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Speaker 1: so much more when they notice my inner confidence and

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Speaker 1: when I noticed my inner confidence. I was talking to

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Speaker 1: a friend about this recently. I was saying just how

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Speaker 1: important it is for me to value myself. And I'll

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Speaker 1: explain what I mean by this. The truth is that

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Speaker 1: you have done hard things. You right now, you who's listening,

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Speaker 1: have done uncomfortable, difficult things. And no matter how much

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Speaker 1: you tell your friends, no matter how much you tell

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Speaker 1: your family, no matter how much you tell anyone, and

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Speaker 1: you should tell them, the only person who can really

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Speaker 1: understand what you've been through is you. You are the

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Speaker 1: only person who can truly comprehend, and the source you,

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Speaker 1: and the source, the divine, the universe, those are the

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Speaker 1: only aspects of you that can truly comprehend and understand

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Speaker 1: what you've been through, to empathize, to be compassionate towards

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Speaker 1: So when we even want it for someone else, it

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Speaker 1: will actually always be incomplete, It will always be limited,

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Speaker 1: it will always be imperfect. And today so much of

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Speaker 1: our confidence is based on what others see is important.

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Speaker 1: And so you could have done the most difficult thing,

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Speaker 1: but because other people don't see it as important or difficult,

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Speaker 1: you lose value for it. We lose value for things

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Speaker 1: people don't value, but that might be the most valuable

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Speaker 1: part of us, right, We lose value for things people

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Speaker 1: don't value, not realizing that could be the most valuable

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Speaker 1: part of us. Like I'll give you an example. You

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Speaker 1: may value honesty, but if someone doesn't value honesty, we

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Speaker 1: start to dis connect with our own values. When we

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Speaker 1: were at school, it was the shoes the cool kids wore,

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Speaker 1: the new lunch box. Today it's social media. So I

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Speaker 1: want to share with you some mindsets of someone who's

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Speaker 1: focused on inner confidence versus outer confidence to help give

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Speaker 1: you a checklist of how to make that switch. So

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Speaker 1: whenever you're expering the external outer confidence mindset, I want

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Speaker 1: you to bring it back to inner confidence. So listen

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Speaker 1: to this. This is the first one. Inner confidence means

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Speaker 1: being okay with liking things that others don't, and external

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Speaker 1: outer confidence is liking things that other people like right

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Speaker 1: only for the of what they said. So right now

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Speaker 1: we're talking about Oscars movies. Are you someone who likes

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Speaker 1: Oscars movies? Are you not? Some of you may love

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Speaker 1: Oscars movies, some of you don't like them at all,

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Speaker 1: but you're scared to say it. I remember going to

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Speaker 1: an event and it was with a bunch of indie

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Speaker 1: filmmakers who really understand film way better than I do,

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Speaker 1: and they were like, what was your favorite movie of

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Speaker 1: the year, And I was like, thor Ragnarok was amazing,

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Speaker 1: And you know, for them, it was like they were

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Speaker 1: naming movies that had never even heard of before, and

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Speaker 1: I remember the first time I did that, I felt

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Speaker 1: kind of silly because I was like, oh, yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: a Marvel junkie. I love Marvel, and I love the

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Speaker 1: messages in Marvel and everything else, and they had a

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Speaker 1: different taste. But I've realized that that is who I am.

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Speaker 1: I've got that movie taste, and that's okay. And actually

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Speaker 1: I appreciated that because it is something that I enjoy.

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Speaker 1: And at the same time, I don't want to become

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Speaker 1: opposed to trying out new forms and new movies and

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Speaker 1: TV shows that I don't know about. Right, I think

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Speaker 1: what happens is we find what we like, then we

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Speaker 1: put our walls up and barriers up, and now we

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Speaker 1: think that's how we protect what we like. And actually

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Speaker 1: we're devaluing what we like, but not opening up our

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Speaker 1: visual library, our audio library. Right. I talk about this

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Speaker 1: a lot, like I feel like growing up, I didn't

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Speaker 1: have access to a wide audio library, or a wide

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Speaker 1: audio history or an audio geography. And that's been something

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Speaker 1: I've really been trying to do as I've been growing older,

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Speaker 1: is listening to music from different genres, different places. I

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Speaker 1: bought a record the other day which was Brazilian jazz,

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Speaker 1: which I've been loving right and just allowing myself to

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Speaker 1: be open to music genres and types that I didn't

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Speaker 1: grow up with. I couldn't be more excited to share

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Speaker 1: something truly special with all you tea lovers out there.

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Speaker 1: RADI and I poured our hearts into creating Juny sparkling

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Speaker 1: a refreshing vitality, and a burst of brightness to your day.

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Speaker 1: Juni is infused with adaptogens that are amazing natural substances

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Speaker 1: that act like superheroes for your body to help you

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Speaker 1: combat stress, pack your body with antioxidants, and stimulate brain

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Speaker 1: function even better. Juny has zero sugar and only five

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Speaker 1: calories per can. We believe in nurturing and energizing your

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Speaker 1: body while enjoying a truly delicious and refreshing drink. So

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Speaker 1: first order. That's drink Jauni dot com and make sure

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Speaker 1: you use the code on purpose. So we've got to

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Speaker 1: be okay with liking things that others don't as opposed

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Speaker 1: to trying to like things that they do. One of

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Speaker 1: the biggest ones for most guys, and I'll call this out,

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Speaker 1: is the amount of people that agree to be in

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Speaker 1: love with the Godfather. I'm going to put it out

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Speaker 1: there right now. I don't think I've ever watched any

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Speaker 1: of them in full, and I know there's going to

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Speaker 1: be a lot of hate and people are going to

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Speaker 1: be like, Jay, have you not watched it? But I

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Speaker 1: know a lot of people who just say they've watched it.

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Speaker 1: In order to fit in, right, we say so many

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Speaker 1: things to fit in, and it's weird because we're trying

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Speaker 1: to stand out in our careers. Trying to stand out

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Speaker 1: in our world. And the people who built things that

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Speaker 1: we love, they built them because they lived authentically to themselves. Now,

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Speaker 1: what's really going on. The reason why we want to

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Speaker 1: fit in is not abnormal. It's because it gives us

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Speaker 1: a sense of belonging. It gives us a sense of community.

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Speaker 1: But when we try and find belonging on such superficial levels,

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Speaker 1: it actually doesn't give us a strong sense of belonging.

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Speaker 1: Belonging is on a value level, on a deep level,

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Speaker 1: not on a like some personality level. Now, the second

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Speaker 1: part of building in a confidence is noticing your own

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Speaker 1: strengths versus outer confidence, which is waiting for others to

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Speaker 1: notice your strengths. We started with this. I want you

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Speaker 1: to start noticing your own strengths and demonstrating them. I

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Speaker 1: remember when I came back from the monastery, I was

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Speaker 1: rejected by forty companies before an interview, and that was

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Speaker 1: hard on my ego because I was a straight A student.

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Speaker 1: I got a first class honors degree and it just

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Speaker 1: wasn't working out. And I remember at that time, I

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Speaker 1: was just like, why can't someone see that I can

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Speaker 1: do this? And I realized instead of trying to get

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Speaker 1: people to see my talent. I had to find ways

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Speaker 1: to sh show my talent. I had to find ways

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Speaker 1: to demonstrate my talent. I had to find ways of

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Speaker 1: expressing who I was creatively without expecting someone to see

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Speaker 1: it first. And I think a lot of us can

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Speaker 1: wish and wait and hope for someone to notice us,

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Speaker 1: but we have to notice our strengths first and showcase them.

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Speaker 1: The third step, this is probably the biggest one because

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Speaker 1: it's the hardest one, is giving self validation versus needing

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Speaker 1: external validation. How many of us do things because we

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Speaker 1: want someone else to say something to us, and how

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Speaker 1: many of us do things because we're trying to say

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Speaker 1: something to ourselves. Self validation has been one of the

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Speaker 1: greatest skills and mindsets that I've built up. It is

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Speaker 1: a muscle that you can build. And the reason why

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Speaker 1: it's so hard is because we're so wired to think

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Speaker 1: a lot of it comes from parenting. We did something

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Speaker 1: good in our parents, so that was great, well done,

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Speaker 1: and we're like trying to chase that. Or we did

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Speaker 1: something good in our parents, didn't notice it, and now

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Speaker 1: we want someone to notice it, so there's that need

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Speaker 1: for external validation. We've been taught to believe that someone

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Speaker 1: says something good about us, then that almost makes us

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Speaker 1: more valuable, because we've seen that be rewarded in society.

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Speaker 1: If more people notice you're great, then you generally do better.

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Speaker 1: But what I've realized is that the people who follow

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Speaker 1: that path, it doesn't lead to satisfaction because when you're

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Speaker 1: looking in that way, often people will never do that.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't come back that way, and then you feel

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Speaker 1: discouraged from actually doing the act in the process, or

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Speaker 1: you do it, you get the praise, and then after

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Speaker 1: that you're chasing the praise rather than chasing the creativity

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Speaker 1: or the progress. I remember a long time ago when

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Speaker 1: a group of people who ridiculed me were then celebrating me.

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Speaker 1: And in that moment, I was around twenty when it happened,

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Speaker 1: and I realized how thickly it was, how quick someone

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Speaker 1: who could criticize me could celebrate me. And I said

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Speaker 1: to myself, I don't want to do this to be

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Speaker 1: celebrated or be hurt by the criticism, right. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to do this so that I can experience the celebration.

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Speaker 1: I want to do this because I experience and love

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Speaker 1: the process and That's why validation also leads to this

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Speaker 1: point of celebrating your own success versus waiting for others

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Speaker 1: to celebrate you. We may want our partners to throw

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Speaker 1: us a party, we may be sad that our work

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Speaker 1: colleagues didn't throw us one, But are we celebrating ourselves

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Speaker 1: in the way that we value? Are we throwing the

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Speaker 1: party of our dreams because we are the only ones

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Speaker 1: who know how to do that. I would really learned

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Speaker 1: to develop this ability when I feel like I've achieved

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Speaker 1: something to close my eyes and really take it in.

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Speaker 1: I found that the more I achieved, the more people

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Speaker 1: around me became immune to my achievement. So in the

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Speaker 1: beginning there was doubt and confusion as to whether I'd

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Speaker 1: ever achieve anything. Then after some time there was a

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Speaker 1: little bit of celebration. After the celebration, it became so

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Speaker 1: normal and the achievement was normalized, whereby people went back

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Speaker 1: to being disinterested. And so what's really interesting about that

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Speaker 1: is either way, you end up in a position in

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Speaker 1: your life where people don't have the ability to celebrate

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Speaker 1: you continuously because you either have made certain success as

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Speaker 1: a habit, or they forget or they get busy and

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Speaker 1: a lot of the times we think, oh, people don't

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Speaker 1: recognize me, and people don't celebrate me, and they don't

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Speaker 1: recognize my value. And the truth is it's coming from

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Speaker 1: a deep seated feeling of we don't recognize it our own,

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Speaker 1: we don't celebrate our own, we didn't take that moment.

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Speaker 1: So one of my favorite things to do now when

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Speaker 1: I have an achievement, even if I celebrate it with

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Speaker 1: my amazing team and my wife, is to take a

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Speaker 1: moment alone. I'll sit alone in stillness and silence, or

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Speaker 1: close my eyes and I'll just take a moment to

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Speaker 1: honor myself, to honor myself for the challenges that I

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Speaker 1: broke through, to honor myself, for the skills that I developed,

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Speaker 1: to honor myself for the risks that I took. Just

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Speaker 1: taking a moment to truly honor yourself, I promise you

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Speaker 1: just try to do that this week. Do it for

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Speaker 1: small things. I think we often also inner confidences. I

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Speaker 1: value and I'm making progress outer confidences. I'm waiting for

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Speaker 1: perfection right inner confidences. I'm trying to make progress out

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Speaker 1: of confidences. I'm waiting for perfection inner confidences. Choose your

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Speaker 1: thoughts wisely, whereas outter confidence is listen to everyone else.

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Speaker 1: I was talking to a friend who felt the pressure

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Speaker 1: to change his career because he told his friends he

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Speaker 1: was about to change it. So he told his friends

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Speaker 1: he was going to change his career. He didn't end

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Speaker 1: up changing his career, so his friends were making fun

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Speaker 1: of him, and then he was like, well, maybe I

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Speaker 1: have to change my career just so that they don't

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Speaker 1: make fun of me. And I was just like, the

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Speaker 1: only person we're letting down in that situation as ourselves.

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Speaker 1: And often what happens is if we spend too much

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Speaker 1: time with certain people, their noise becomes our voice. So

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Speaker 1: inner confidence says, let me really decide what matters to me,

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Speaker 1: because guess what, I'm the one who has to live

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Speaker 1: with the consequences. If you choose a job based on

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Speaker 1: what other people think, they're not the ones who have

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Speaker 1: to wake up and go to that job you are.

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Speaker 1: If you choose a partner based on what other people think,

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Speaker 1: they're not the person who has to wake up next

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Speaker 1: to that partner you are. If you choose a lifestyle

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Speaker 1: because of what other people think, they're not the ones

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Speaker 1: who have to live up to the consequences you are.

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Speaker 1: You're the one who is living the challenges, the consequences

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Speaker 1: and the reality of your choices, not the people around you.

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Speaker 1: And so if you're not going to be happy with

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Speaker 1: the consequences, don't take that risk. Don't make that decision.

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Speaker 1: Inner confidence is about comparing yourself to who you want

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Speaker 1: to be, versus comparing yourself to others. There's a great

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Speaker 1: speech if you haven't heard it, by Matthew McConaughey when

400
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 1: he won the Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club where he

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Speaker 1: says that his hero is him ten years from now,

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Speaker 1: someone he's chasing, someoney is aspiring to be. And I

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Speaker 1: love that idea because he's comparing himself to who he

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Speaker 1: wants to be. He knows what he can be in

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Speaker 1: ten years. Tell me if it's true or not. The

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Speaker 1: person you are today is miles ahead of the person

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Speaker 1: who were five years ago. The person you are today

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Speaker 1: is male's head of the person you were ten years ago,

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Speaker 1: which means the person you're going to be in five

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Speaker 1: years is incredible. Make that person you're idol, make that

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Speaker 1: person you're chasing, because, as Matthew McConaughey says, you never

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Speaker 1: reach them, and you'll never be mad at them because

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Speaker 1: they you. Whereas if we're comparing ourselves to others, we'll

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Speaker 1: always feel late, we'll always feel behind, will always feel slow. Right,

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Speaker 1: we have to move at our pace. We have to

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Speaker 1: find our pace. We don't want to feel like we're

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Speaker 1: moving slow, we're behind what whatever else it may be,

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Speaker 1: there's a challenge with trust here. Inner confidence is about

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Speaker 1: trusting yourself. Out of confidence is about trusting everyone else.

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Speaker 1: A lot of us crowdsource our biggest decisions in life.

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Speaker 1: Is he right for me? Do you think I should

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Speaker 1: wear this? Do you think I should do this job? Again?

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Speaker 1: It's always good to ask for help, always important to

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Speaker 1: ask for help, and I'll talk about that in a second.

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Speaker 1: But the challenge we have is we often don't trust

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Speaker 1: our intuition. Rather, he's been talking about this a lot

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Speaker 1: to me recently, this idea that our body and mind

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Speaker 1: and our heart and our spirit can really connect with

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Speaker 1: us if we check in with them. Right. Your body

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Speaker 1: does certain things to tell you that it's not well,

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Speaker 1: Like if you have a stomach ache, you know it's

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Speaker 1: because of something you ate. If your foot's hitting it's

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Speaker 1: because you sprained your ankle. Right, there's your body's actually

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Speaker 1: communicating with you, and we don't see it as that.

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Speaker 1: We see it as like, oh God, I hate the

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Speaker 1: wrong thing, I'm in pain. But actually your body's talking

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Speaker 1: to you. And often we don't trust that we actually

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Speaker 1: have the ability to listen to our mind, our heart,

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Speaker 1: or intuition our body in order to be guided. Yet

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Speaker 1: we listen to people outside of ourselves to make very personal,

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Speaker 1: deep decisions. Inner confidence is about wanting to be better

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Speaker 1: versus wanting to be seen as better, which is out

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Speaker 1: to confidence. Right out to confidence is I want to

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Speaker 1: be seen as better. Inner confidences I want to be better.

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Speaker 1: How much are we trying to improve ourselves? How much

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Speaker 1: are we trying to grow ourselves? And let's shift into

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Speaker 1: that rather than we'll everone notice that I've grown. Even

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Speaker 1: if they don't notice, I'm noticing, I'm experiencing. I'm the

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Speaker 1: one living with this body and mind. Inner confidence means

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Speaker 1: I ask for help, versus out to confidence means I

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Speaker 1: appear to never need support. This is a huge one.

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Speaker 1: Giving yourself permission to reach out and ask for help.

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Speaker 1: I remember when I first started coaching and teaching and guiding.

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Speaker 1: I used to be scared of asking for help because

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Speaker 1: I thought I had to be perfect. You're not realizing

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Speaker 1: that actually I would grow more, learn more, be better

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Speaker 1: if I would ask for help, if I was able

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Speaker 1: to serve and support. And so I've realized that outer

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Speaker 1: confidence blocks you from actually seeking out help and the

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Speaker 1: other things true too. Inner confidence is you want to

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Speaker 1: help others grow out to confidence as you keep others

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Speaker 1: down to make yourself look bigger. So notice, the goal

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Speaker 1: is to notice when you have these We all have them,

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Speaker 1: these mindsets. We want to become aware. We want to amend,

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Speaker 1: and we want to take action on the new mindset.

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Speaker 1: We want to slow down our action on the old mindset,

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Speaker 1: increase it on the new mindset. Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: to listening to today's workshop. I hope it's helped you.

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Speaker 1: I hope you take away one thing from this session,

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Speaker 1: and thank you so much for listening to on Purpose.

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Speaker 1: I'll see you soon and let's keep becoming happier, healthier,

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Speaker 1: and more healed together. If you love this episode, you

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Speaker 1: will also love my interview with Kendall Jenna on setting

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Speaker 1: boundaries to increase happiness and healing. You're inner child.

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Speaker 2: You could be reading something that someone is saying about

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Speaker 2: you and being like, that is so unfair because that's

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Speaker 2: not who I am and that really gets to me sometimes,

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Speaker 2: But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like,

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Speaker 2: but I know who I am. Why does anything else

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Speaker 2: matter