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Speaker 1: What the hell?

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Speaker 2: What?

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Speaker 1: Everybody relaxed?

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Speaker 3: Touch that pain?

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Speaker 1: Is that a body?

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Speaker 4: It's Fandy, dang dog?

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Speaker 5: The bitch is dead, Disgustice, How are y'all a poof

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Speaker 5: when I'm nervous?

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Speaker 4: And I'm nervous, when a poof?

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Speaker 6: Just the way?

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Speaker 3: It is?

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Speaker 7: Welcome, dear listener, what you just heard was a murder.

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Speaker 1: That's right.

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Speaker 7: Death finds us all sooner or later. Oh yes, he

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Speaker 7: she they do. I should, however, correct myself. You did

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Speaker 7: not ear witness a murder, per se. What you heard

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Speaker 7: was the discovery of a body, and not just anybody,

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Speaker 7: mine Vandy Jeremiah Monroe, the third, your narrator from the beyond?

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Speaker 7: Who am I? You ask? Or rather who was? I?

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Speaker 7: A director? Philanthropist, lover, fighter, dreamer and very fucking gay?

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Speaker 7: My ouvra has been dissected in film schools and more importantly,

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Speaker 7: film blogs. My biggest success was Called Which, which a

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Speaker 7: sapphic love story set during the Salem Bitch Trials, and

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Speaker 7: my first film, Give a Dog a Boner, is about

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Speaker 7: a demonic Dashian who terrorizes the senior citizen community in

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Speaker 7: New Jersey. Recently, my work had fallen out of favor.

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Speaker 7: Oh who am I kidding? I haven't had a hit

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Speaker 7: since Veronica's Closet was on the air. But I had

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Speaker 7: a plan for my comeback, A movie musical called All

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Speaker 7: About Steve, a remake of All About Eve, only gayer

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Speaker 7: and with angel. People would respect me again. Jim Parsons

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Speaker 7: would return my calls. I could smell the oscars, or

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Speaker 7: at least the racist golden globes. Only in the weeks

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Speaker 7: before my demise, I started to receive threatening calls, emails,

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Speaker 7: and letters saying things like You're about to die, Andy,

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Speaker 7: sleep with your eyes open, peek a boo, I'm gonna

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Speaker 7: kill you, etc.

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Speaker 8: Et cetera.

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Speaker 7: Then the ante was upped. A bullet grazed me during

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Speaker 7: my morning stroll. A toxic mushroom made its way into

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Speaker 7: my darling dog's dinner bowl. R Ip, Jessica, that's not all.

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Speaker 7: A massacred rabbit and spooky photo of Glenn clothes were

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Speaker 7: left at my door, along with the original Broadway cast

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Speaker 7: recording of the musical Taboo. Shit was getting real, so

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Speaker 7: I invited my best friends aka my mortal enemies, each

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Speaker 7: of whom had a reason to want me. Disappeared to

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Speaker 7: my Hudson Valley home for the weekend. My plan was

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Speaker 7: to catch whoever was after me once and for all,

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Speaker 7: but clearly I failed. The question, dear listener, is not

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Speaker 7: who died like I said it me. No, the question

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Speaker 7: is why and by whom? And what were they wearing?

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Speaker 7: And who were they wearing? There's more confusion surrounding my

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Speaker 7: death than there is about Ryan Murphy's success. Is he

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Speaker 7: really that talented or just remarkably overpaid? Allegedly? In dissecting

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Speaker 7: my big gay murder, I have two goals. To name

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Speaker 7: my killer and to entertain. Do you know that song

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Speaker 7: from Gypsy? Let me entertain? Yell? It's sung by a

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Speaker 7: child who turns into a whore, and now by me. Well,

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Speaker 7: just a sample. We can't afford the rights moving on.

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Speaker 7: Every good murder has a suspect or ten. Mine is

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Speaker 7: no exception. Let me introduce you to the possibilities. First,

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Speaker 7: my husband, Reginald Divine, a part time artist, full time wiccan.

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Speaker 7: Who's really introducing No one knows how old Reginald is,

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Speaker 7: not even me. He just keeps getting younger. He credits

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Speaker 7: vampire facials and Kale's smoothies, but I'm not so sure.

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Speaker 7: Did I love him. Could he have murdered me?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, I'm Reginald Divine, I'm here, I'm queer now past

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Speaker 3: the sunscreen. No, I'm not kidding. I'm like an SPM

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Speaker 3: seventy and that's at night.

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Speaker 7: Then we have my neighbor, Henry Jacobs, an award losing

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Speaker 7: interior designer. Henry has a passion for wallpaper and is

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Speaker 7: obsessed with Harry Potter books in a way that I

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Speaker 7: find unhealthy, especially these days.

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Speaker 9: I'm Henry Jacobs and I'm gay about a Cadavra Sweetheart.

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Speaker 7: Jacques Saint Cox, a British porn star with the dick

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Speaker 7: the size of an egg plant and the brain the

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Speaker 7: size of an egg Alla Mite, Jock Saint.

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Speaker 1: Butthole Dehey.

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Speaker 7: Madame Moon and Polly Barker, a cabaret duo who've been

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Speaker 7: performing together longer than both acts of the Inheritance. Polly's

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Speaker 7: preferred method of communication is the piano, while Moon can

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Speaker 7: be a bit dim bossy.

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Speaker 2: Introduce yourself, Polly, use your words.

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Speaker 4: I'm Polly Barker.

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Speaker 2: And I am Madam Moon, drag queen extraordinaire. I have

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Speaker 2: a voice like a siren, and not the kind on

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Speaker 2: cop cars.

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Speaker 7: My longtime chef tush Van Munch, a German Jew. He

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Speaker 7: escaped the Nazis by promising them blowjobs only once they

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Speaker 7: drop their tight Nazi pants. You bet their dicks off.

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Speaker 1: Shameya.

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Speaker 6: I'm gay.

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Speaker 7: Last and certainly least. Kelly Raymon and Flanagan Air other

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Speaker 7: Raymon and Flanagan Fortune.

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Speaker 4: I may be letter, pack a lot of punch and

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Speaker 4: the bottomise always on top.

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Speaker 7: Kelly is annoying and farts a lot.

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Speaker 4: Excuse me kill her er.

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Speaker 7: Do not let them fool you, dear listener. All these

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Speaker 7: homosexuals are suspects. Oh, I almost forgot. There's another voice.

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Speaker 7: You'll hear our series straight Man, except he's gay. He

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Speaker 7: lives it, or rather on my generous estate, in a

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Speaker 7: small cabin by the road, under the power lines, near

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Speaker 7: the septic tank. James Wilson, my caretaker and handyman, though

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Speaker 7: apparently he's gag a writer. He took the job to

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Speaker 7: pay off his student loans from Tish, which everyone knows

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Speaker 7: will never ever be paid off because NYU is crazy expensive.

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Speaker 7: I hired him to outfit my mansion with hidden recording devices.

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Speaker 7: Not only that, I left instructions on what to do

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Speaker 7: if I was murdered. He's to bring my killer to

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Speaker 7: justice like a cool Perrow or Miss Marple if they

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Speaker 7: were massive epic fags. Now that you know the players,

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Speaker 7: let's begin the game. Miss Sherlock Holmes once said, is

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Speaker 7: a foot and this bitch is wearing heels in a

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Speaker 7: house on him?

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Speaker 1: Who lives a.

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Speaker 4: Gay and his plans want him dead?

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Speaker 10: Ride wise, someone wants to kill him even though it's wrong.

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Speaker 10: Thinks the world is manner of many is born. It's

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Speaker 10: him very closely with your eas see if you can

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Speaker 10: gam so which one of his queens maybe is the killer?

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Speaker 4: Who is the killer?

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Speaker 1: Who did it?

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Speaker 4: Who wanted dead?

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Speaker 1: Who did he?

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Speaker 7: Who creptain?

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Speaker 4: Is bad? Who didn't?

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Speaker 1: Was it you?

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Speaker 7: Was it mean?

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Speaker 4: Who could it be? Who didn't?

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Speaker 7: They're drupping like flies?

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Speaker 4: Who didn't?

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Speaker 10: These guys are like guys who didn't?

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Speaker 1: Was it you? Wasn't me?

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Speaker 4: Who could it be?

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Speaker 11: Does this word make me look?

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Speaker 1: Hello? Hello?

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Speaker 4: Was lack of brother to me?

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Speaker 1: He decimated you at dinner?

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Speaker 5: I know his emotional abuse reminds me of home.

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Speaker 1: Someone please make shop brother? What should we do? Reginald?

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Speaker 1: Call the police? Excuse me?

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, it's the killer.

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Speaker 1: No I'm not. I'm James Wilson, caretaker of the estate.

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Speaker 9: Hmm, that job sounds homophobic.

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Speaker 1: I live in the house by the gate near the road.

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Speaker 9: Oh that's a house.

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Speaker 4: It's the size of a thimble. I thought it was

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Speaker 4: the church for spiders.

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Speaker 1: I used to live in the city, so to me,

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Speaker 1: it's an upgrade. I went to Nyu. Oh, you poor thing.

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Speaker 5: You must be up to your fat nipples and stint loans.

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Speaker 1: I am. That's why I work here, Reginald. Is this true?

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Speaker 7: I suppose he does look familiar.

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Speaker 12: I watch you change at night from my binoculars. I mean,

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Speaker 12: I've watched stars at night.

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Speaker 7: If you smile eyes, yes, you're the stable boy.

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Speaker 1: What did you say you did? I heard screaming, so

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Speaker 1: I ran over.

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Speaker 7: The is dead.

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Speaker 1: Dead The old man was right.

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Speaker 7: I beg your heart on, come again, I.

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Speaker 13: Can so soon after the first time.

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Speaker 1: Oh you weren't talking to me, were you? How did

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Speaker 1: Vandy die?

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Speaker 4: We don't know.

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Speaker 5: I saw hom in bed with blood everywhere, and did

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Speaker 5: Moon fall asleep?

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Speaker 4: Polly? Wake her up?

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Speaker 2: Where am I Moon?

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Speaker 4: There's been a murder. How can you retired at time

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Speaker 4: like this?

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Speaker 2: I'm an insomniac, so I take loads of pills at night. Hush,

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Speaker 2: I'm groggy, tush, Dear, make some coffee.

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Speaker 1: Got me right? Wait, no one move? Is everyone here

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Speaker 1: an accounting for I'm afraid so then it's probable, more

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Speaker 1: than probable. Actually, then, whoever killed Vandy is in this

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Speaker 1: very room.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, storry about that?

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Speaker 1: Does anyone have reception?

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Speaker 4: Reception? Reception for what?

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Speaker 1: What about a landline?

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Speaker 3: We haven't had a landline since nineteen ninety seven, so

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Speaker 3: no fons.

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Speaker 1: Or no internet? How do you know?

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Speaker 12: Earlier I was trying to download one of Jacques's porndoflicks and.

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Speaker 9: Never mind, we believe you did move for all asleep again?

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Speaker 2: Ow who pinched me?

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Speaker 12: I've never met someone who can sleep for so much noise.

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Speaker 12: I survived the camps.

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Speaker 5: Oh, I went to summer camp too, all us boys

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Speaker 5: sharing a bunk a bathroom A bad man.

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Speaker 1: Am not talking about summer camp.

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Speaker 12: I am talking about bless you.

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Speaker 1: It's probably just the allergies. Reginalds, you must be in

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Speaker 1: a state of absolute shock. Not really.

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Speaker 3: You didn't know Vandy very well, did you?

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Speaker 1: I thought I did. Listen everyone I know, Reginald and Toush.

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Speaker 1: But maybe the rest of you can catch me up

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Speaker 1: to speed, tell me your names and your relationship.

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Speaker 6: It ish shit.

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Speaker 13: We're supposed to sit around and walk wait to get

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Speaker 13: killed too while we play some fucking name game.

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Speaker 4: Nah, I'm out.

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Speaker 9: I find that homophobic.

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Speaker 3: You can't go around accusing gay men of being homophobic.

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Speaker 1: Please can we get back.

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Speaker 5: I'm Kelly Raymor and Flanagan of the Raymre and Flanagan Empire.

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Speaker 5: I'm friends with Vandy from back in the day.

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Speaker 4: We used to go clubbing together. Oh not to the bars.

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Speaker 5: We'd bring actual clubs to the pier and hit straight

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Speaker 5: people with them. And honestly, there's no way the killer

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Speaker 5: is still here.

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Speaker 6: No theory.

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Speaker 1: Bob, who is Bob names? Please?

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Speaker 2: Madam Moon Chantus of the Stage Musical Contaret.

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Speaker 12: I've seen your in province down next to the lobster pot.

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Speaker 2: Fabular praise is a gift I kindly accept now. Like

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Speaker 2: I said, who's Bob?

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Speaker 4: Oh nobody?

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Speaker 5: It's an expression like he could eat corn through a

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Speaker 5: picket fence, or you can't make a silk purse out

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Speaker 5: of a sow's ear.

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Speaker 2: Silk purse corn picket fence? Can someone translate.

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Speaker 12: He's saying Vandy was probably attacked by an intruder who

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Speaker 12: already flies.

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00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,319
Speaker 1: You think someone broke in during a storm, It does

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00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:37,319
Speaker 1: seem unlikely. The snow is coming down hard.

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Speaker 2: I bet Jock knows a thing or two about coming

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Speaker 2: down hard.

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00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:45,840
Speaker 13: Actually I do. I've won four a v and Awards

232
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Speaker 13: Adult Video News. It's basically the oscar is a fucking

233
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:54,720
Speaker 13: I score best tease, best back of head, skanky aest vibe,

234
00:13:54,840 --> 00:14:00,120
Speaker 13: and weirdest tongue. Do you want to see.

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00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:02,880
Speaker 3: Terrible?

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00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:03,880
Speaker 7: Let me see that again.

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00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:06,760
Speaker 5: An lgbt Q I a square to the tenth power

238
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Speaker 5: could not have committed this crime.

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00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:12,720
Speaker 4: Queer people use words, not weapons when those don't work.

240
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,640
Speaker 5: Maybe we do push people down the stairs, but never

241
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,080
Speaker 5: knaves or guns.

242
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:20,120
Speaker 7: What about Jeffrey Dahmer or Hitler?

243
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:21,600
Speaker 4: Hitler was gay?

244
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:25,120
Speaker 7: It's a grass green does Ben Platt's vibrado vabble.

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Speaker 1: I've had enough. I'm leaving. I can't allow you to

246
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,800
Speaker 1: do that. So on what a prisoner?

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Speaker 6: He played one before I saw it.

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Speaker 1: I can't remember the title though.

249
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,320
Speaker 13: It's a hardcock life that stuffun Oh.

250
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:44,400
Speaker 12: Yes, it's all coming back to me now. You have

251
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,400
Speaker 12: a real very thrusting you're a fan.

252
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:52,280
Speaker 6: It's impossible to choose between West Side hoary and pulp function,

253
00:14:52,880 --> 00:15:02,280
Speaker 6: Oh and all that, Jez, don't cry.

254
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:11,360
Speaker 2: It's just so sad about Vandy, isn't it, Polly? I said,

255
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,000
Speaker 2: isn't it? Polly?

256
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:13,640
Speaker 1: Yes?

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00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,640
Speaker 4: Awful, horrible.

258
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,760
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you are.

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00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:23,000
Speaker 2: He's my accompanimist, Polly. He doesn't talk much.

260
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:28,200
Speaker 4: Say something, Polly Moon, I don't.

261
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:29,360
Speaker 7: I don't enjoy it.

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00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,240
Speaker 1: I don't have anything to wait.

263
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,240
Speaker 4: Is that Broadway and Disney legend?

264
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:37,360
Speaker 7: Lay us a long?

265
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,680
Speaker 4: Did someone leave a record on?

266
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,400
Speaker 3: No, it's just the pipes, you know, these old houses

267
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,680
Speaker 3: are upstairs. Toilet sounds like Bernadette Peterson smells like it

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Speaker 3: in a turn.

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Speaker 1: Black as thrilling as this conversation is, I'd like to

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00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,760
Speaker 1: question you all. What are you?

271
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Speaker 3: Are you a cop?

272
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,760
Speaker 1: No? But someone has to get to the bottom of this.

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00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,960
Speaker 4: Me I'm a bottom.

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00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:58,560
Speaker 1: We know.

275
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:00,880
Speaker 4: Why should we trust you?

276
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:01,480
Speaker 1: James?

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00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:06,120
Speaker 9: You live in an art house, which I find deeply homophobic.

278
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:07,800
Speaker 9: What of you're the killer?

279
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,680
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to do this, but here.

280
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,200
Speaker 7: If you're listening to this, then my greatest fear has

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00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:19,480
Speaker 7: come to pass. And no, it's not winning a second

282
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,239
Speaker 7: Razzie Award or McDonald's running out of cheese.

283
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:23,720
Speaker 1: I've been murdered.

284
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,760
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, I don't believe this. Vandy left that

285
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,440
Speaker 3: voice memo for.

286
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,120
Speaker 1: You more than one actually.

287
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:36,120
Speaker 4: So Vandy knew he'd get off. That doesn't mean that

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00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,160
Speaker 4: one of us did it.

289
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:42,440
Speaker 7: Keep listening, murdered by one of you who was invited

290
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,960
Speaker 7: to my home for the weekend, who was already living

291
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,040
Speaker 7: here on staff. If you cared about me at all,

292
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,600
Speaker 7: do what James asks?

293
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,400
Speaker 1: No questions? Now do you believe I'm trustworthy?

294
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,240
Speaker 3: Okay, Colombo? Who do you want to see first?

295
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,120
Speaker 1: Actually, Reginald, I'd like to start with you.

296
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:09,639
Speaker 7: And so James began his questioning with Reginald in the

297
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:14,680
Speaker 7: library outside the wind howled harder than Dreamgirls fans when

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00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,960
Speaker 7: it lost the Best Musical Tony back in nineteen eighty two.

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00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,400
Speaker 7: Oh that taste god. Ah.

300
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:30,840
Speaker 3: You know people think smoking's bad for them, for stivolute people.

301
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:35,919
Speaker 1: They're wrong, you know, No, they're right. Smoking kills people.

302
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,240
Speaker 3: Loneliness kills people, and old age.

303
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,720
Speaker 1: Do you like this record? It's one of my favorites

304
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:47,760
Speaker 1: for someone whose husband just died. You don't seem that upset.

305
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:51,600
Speaker 3: And what exactly are you accusing me of?

306
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:52,240
Speaker 1: Nothing?

307
00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:52,560
Speaker 3: Yet?

308
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:53,360
Speaker 14: I just.

309
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 3: Nothing. I just good because when you accuse people without evidence,

310
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,760
Speaker 3: you are no better than the DJ.

311
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,440
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Are you Republican?

312
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:05,080
Speaker 15: No?

313
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,480
Speaker 1: Why are you attacking me? I feel judged. All I

314
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,399
Speaker 1: want to know is where you were when Vandy was killed,

315
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,120
Speaker 1: since you clearly weren't in bed with them.

316
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:19,520
Speaker 3: Correct. Vandy has his bedroom and I have mine. A

317
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:24,399
Speaker 3: marriage was a marriage was very Victorian.

318
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,200
Speaker 1: So that's where you were your bedroom.

319
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:32,000
Speaker 3: Yes, and before that I was in my art studio.

320
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,840
Speaker 1: You're an artist. I've never seen any of your work.

321
00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:39,080
Speaker 3: Yes, well, I'm very private and selective about my models.

322
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:44,040
Speaker 3: It's something I do for myself myself alone. Painting soothes

323
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:47,879
Speaker 3: me because life can be very stressful, especially at my age.

324
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,159
Speaker 3: How old do you think I am?

325
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,680
Speaker 1: Honestly, I have no idea. Based on your skin, I'd

326
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,040
Speaker 1: say sixteen.

327
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:02,439
Speaker 3: Really, battle do you have any idea how hard it

328
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,199
Speaker 3: is to be a gay man these days?

329
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,560
Speaker 1: I'm a gay man, a respected.

330
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:09,920
Speaker 3: Gay man, someone in the spotlight. I don't come from

331
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 3: old money like Vandy. I grew up in a shack

332
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:15,199
Speaker 3: below the Mason Dixon line. The second I came to

333
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,320
Speaker 3: New York and sounded like Kelly Well, no one.

334
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,920
Speaker 1: Took me seriously. I got a voice coach.

335
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:27,119
Speaker 3: I couldn't afford nice clothes, but I studied up on designers,

336
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:31,119
Speaker 3: kept myself trimmed. Some people are good conversationalists, others are

337
00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 3: smart with money. I had my looks, have my looks.

338
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,679
Speaker 3: I envy you you you children. You have no idea

339
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 3: what it was like growing up queer from my generation.

340
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,480
Speaker 3: Do you know what happened to those of us who

341
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,119
Speaker 3: survived the eighties? We had to live through the nineties

342
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,879
Speaker 3: almost made me yearn for the thirties. Nobody had it

343
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 3: tougher than the gays, and I mean nobody. That's why

344
00:19:55,720 --> 00:20:02,159
Speaker 3: I'm a witch. Sorry, you heard right, A witch, wicked

345
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:07,959
Speaker 3: part of the occultist Western esotericism. I worshiped the Triple

346
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,560
Speaker 3: Goddess and the horn God.

347
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 1: I do think we're getting off track here. Someone in

348
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 1: this house was threatening Vandy, he told me before he died.

349
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,360
Speaker 1: I'm guessing it's the same person who killed him.

350
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 7: Some people view death as a release.

351
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,880
Speaker 1: I'm not sure Vandy saw it that way.

352
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:28,920
Speaker 7: Listen, I believe an attempt in my life will be made,

353
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:32,400
Speaker 7: and I intend to defend myself with everything in my power.

354
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 7: But if you're listening, to this, then sadly I have failed.

355
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 1: What do you make of that?

356
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:42,160
Speaker 3: Poor Vandy? It's hard to believe he's gone. He hadn't

357
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,600
Speaker 3: been himself lately, jumpy, erratic. Some moments he'd be high,

358
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,600
Speaker 3: others he'd be low. It is almost like you, yes,

359
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 3: like he was falling in love. What a silly thing

360
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,640
Speaker 3: to say, What a silly thing to say. I don't

361
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:58,719
Speaker 3: know why that popped into my The only strange thing

362
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,960
Speaker 3: I saw all day was Kelly and doing poppers in

363
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 3: the library. And the poppers part isn't strange, but either

364
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 3: of them in a library, Yeah, that felt a little unsettling.

365
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 1: Kelly seems quite torn up about Vandy. Were they close?

366
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 3: He was helping Vandy finances come back. But then Kelly

367
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,199
Speaker 3: has for a role in the film, and not a cameo,

368
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,919
Speaker 3: a lead. Can you imagine that southern trimp on screen?

369
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 3: And they had it out at dinner a volcano of

370
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:27,160
Speaker 3: a fight.

371
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,920
Speaker 1: Really, what exactly did Vandy say?

372
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 7: Well?

373
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 1: What the fuck?

374
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 4: What was that?

375
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: I don't know.

376
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 7: Come on, Wilmer, what the hell are you doing here?

377
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:48,960
Speaker 5: You're so I'm I'm there's an arrow sticking out of

378
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 5: that hot young man.

379
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 6: Praise yourself.

380
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 4: Is this all hurt?

381
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 1: What the fuck?

382
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,400
Speaker 4: You just ripped that arrow out of my arm?

383
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 6: Better out and in, darling. Now hold still by a bandage.

384
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 1: Don't worry. I'm used to handling large slabs of bee.

385
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 9: Am I the only one who wants to know why

386
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 9: this man has been used for target practice?

387
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:17,440
Speaker 1: You must be Wilmer Munroe Fandy's adopted son.

388
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 14: That's right.

389
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,119
Speaker 1: Once Tush finishes wrapping up your arm, I'll need you

390
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 1: to follow me the Bandy's study so I can tie

391
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 1: you up sexy.

392
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 4: But why the hell would I let you do that?

393
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 1: Because I believe that you murdered your father.

394
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:39,639
Speaker 12: Gay ghast, gay Ghast film up kill Bandy never, not

395
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:40,760
Speaker 12: in a million years.

396
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. I helped Vandy prepare the house because

397
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 1: he suspected one of you would try to murder him.

398
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 1: His bedroom was triggered with a crossbow set to launch

399
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 1: when someone entered. Hence Wilmer's the killer.

400
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:54,680
Speaker 7: Not so fast, Matt Cock.

401
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,360
Speaker 4: I didn't touch my father.

402
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:03,200
Speaker 2: A crossper in his bedroom. That is majorly fucked up.

403
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 3: Bendy always did like a long.

404
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: Piece of wood. Were you even invited? Wilmer, Vandy never

405
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 1: mentioned you were coming, which would mean that you're snuck

406
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 1: inside once everyone went to bed in order to murder yours.

407
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 1: I just wanted to talk to him.

408
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 14: Is that a crime? Daddy cut me off. He thinks

409
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 14: I'm not responsible, but I so am.

410
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,159
Speaker 2: If you have to say you're responsible, you probably not.

411
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 14: I wanted to tell him that I got a job.

412
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:30,879
Speaker 1: You did that.

413
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 4: I almost got a job.

414
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 14: I'm looking for one. I'm thinking about possibly looking for one.

415
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 1: Did a gun just fall out of your pants? No?

416
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 1: It literally did give me that pure James ketch a

417
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 1: glock G nineteen.

418
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 4: No, how could you want to murder your father?

419
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 14: I wanted to reason with him when I was ready

420
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 14: to do whatever it took to get back my allowance.

421
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 14: Only as soon as I open the door, I was

422
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 14: shot by the effing cross bow and I ran. I

423
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,320
Speaker 14: tried to reach the road, but the storm is too strong,

424
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,920
Speaker 14: so I came back.

425
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:16,919
Speaker 9: If Wilma never went inside Bandy's room, then who killed him?

426
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 1: I want to examine Vandy's bedroom, but first let's deal

427
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 1: with Wilmer. We can use these handcuffs.

428
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 4: I'll always keep a seat on me for fun. You

429
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:28,920
Speaker 4: don't know.

430
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,199
Speaker 1: Everyone stay here, Henry come with me.

431
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:39,439
Speaker 9: Should I bring my wand never mind, let's go.

432
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 7: Moments later, James and Henry arrived at my bedroom door

433
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 7: and flicked on the light to see.

434
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 1: Eh, it's worse than I imagined. Look at Vandy's body,

435
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 1: all that blood.

436
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,120
Speaker 9: Like when Lily Potter sacrificed herself so Harry could live.

437
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 1: What why are you talking about, Harry Potter. We have

438
00:24:59,280 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 1: to be.

439
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 4: Able to separate the art from the artist. We have to.

440
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 1: I'm not going to have this conversation with you.

441
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:09,920
Speaker 3: Hmm.

442
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 1: Now that I'm seeing Vandy in the light, something's off.

443
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 1: This looks like him, but his skin seems weird, waxy.

444
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 9: Well, don't touch him.

445
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,959
Speaker 1: This isn't bandy, of course it is.

446
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,679
Speaker 9: I'm staring at Vandy in the world's gaudiest sleigh bed

447
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 9: with his neck slip.

448
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 1: That's what someone wants us to think. This looks like Vandy,

449
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:38,919
Speaker 1: but it's a doll, well made doll, super lifelike. What on?

450
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 4: Don't put your fingers in his blood.

451
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 1: It's not blood to sugary. And look on his foot.

452
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:49,119
Speaker 9: The toenails do look overgrown?

453
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 1: No, the stamp, it says dapper cadavers. I don't understand.

454
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 4: This is a fake Bandy.

455
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:03,160
Speaker 1: What does it all mean? It means Vandy isn't dead,

456
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 1: He's alive.

457
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 4: Why God, James, your legging is blood? You're madder than

458
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,399
Speaker 4: a wet pan. Also, what's it taste like?

459
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,679
Speaker 1: Why is everyone in Vandy's bedroom? Who's watching Wilmer?

460
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 3: Toosha's downstairs with him? You were taking too long?

461
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,680
Speaker 1: We got bored, Henry and I discovered something strange. The

462
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 1: body we thought was Vandy's isn't. Does the phrase dapper

463
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: cadavers mean anything to anyone?

464
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 3: That's the company Bandy uses to make bodies for his

465
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 3: horror films.

466
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 4: Where's that walkin coming from?

467
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 3: Meet the most Annoying Bird on the planet? Ladies and Gentlemen,

468
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 3: Angela Len's fairy teban Jeet Jetbian jew a Rainbow Cockatoo,

469
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 3: Vandy's Pride and Joy too bad?

470
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 4: I wish it wasn't out, pieb and Gee, Bibi and Git?

471
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:01,919
Speaker 5: Does it say anything else?

472
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:07,439
Speaker 1: Angry, pirate, Kentucky plumblike Pap Tony denzil Rud? What do

473
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 1: those mean? There? Sex positions?

474
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 2: Tony Denza is A sex position.

475
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 4: Is when you're fucking a girl and ask her, oh's

476
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 4: the boss?

477
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 13: And she turns around all confused, and then you tickle

478
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 13: over with a feather duster.

479
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 6: Or so are gin, Pip and je Pip and jee?

480
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 1: All right, it's late. Everyone is exhausted. Let's try and

481
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: get some sleep.

482
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 4: With a murderer in the house and a bird. If

483
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 4: Bandy isn't dead, there might not be a murderer at all.

484
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:44,239
Speaker 1: I have the master key. I'll lock everyone in their

485
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 1: rooms for the night.

486
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 7: What about the gun, I'll take it.

487
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 3: I shot muskets back in the day. It can't be

488
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:50,200
Speaker 3: too different.

489
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 1: No way, it won't be safe with anyone but me.

490
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 1: Hopefully by morning the roads will be cleared and we

491
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: can call the police.

492
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,920
Speaker 4: Him joy, who's going asleep with the bird?

493
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 2: Nay?

494
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:05,200
Speaker 4: I've always wanted a cock to What about Wilmer?

495
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 3: I have an idea. There's a broom closet under the stairs.

496
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 3: He could stay there for the.

497
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 4: Night, just like the boy who lived.

498
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: I mean, sounds like a plato. Okay, good night, sleep tight,

499
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 1: don't let the bedbugs bite. Try not to get murdered.

500
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 1: James Wilson. Here, it's three seventeen am on Friday, well

501
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 1: Saturday morning. I'm recording my thoughts to keep track of

502
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: what's happening. When I rushed over to the main house,

503
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 1: I feared Vandy was dead. But is he or is

504
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 1: he alive somewhere hiding. I'm in Vandy's library, where I

505
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 1: set up the feeds for the hidden microphones, even though

506
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: we lost power. There's a small generator here, good for

507
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: one room. I'm not sure how long it'll last, but

508
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 1: fingers crossed now.

509
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 7: I have to.

510
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 1: There we go. Let's take a listen to what these

511
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 1: homos are saying behind closed doors.

512
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 15: Dear Jesus, please forgive me for my sins, specifically for

513
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 15: what I did tonight, which was very, very bad, so

514
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 15: fucking bad.

515
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 7: Jesus, come Angela, lads, very get over here.

516
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 1: What why the fuck? Come on, it'll be fun. I

517
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 1: don't want to poor Paully.

518
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 15: I'm worried I may have.

519
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 4: We don't know who's listening.

520
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 15: Take that jokes and.

521
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 2: Careful now.

522
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 15: Avoid the vein.

523
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 12: Not thing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.

524
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 1: Where are you, Fandy?

525
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 4: Where the hell are you.

526
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 1: Next time?

527
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 7: Does this murder make me look gay?

528
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: You want me to install hidden cameras in your house.

529
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 7: Exactly like what parents do when they spy on their nanny.

530
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 7: Can you pick some up at the home depot.

531
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 5: Oh, Mississippi. Bird bats all the rage in the South.

532
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 5: It's when you fill a girl's mouth with kool aid.

533
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,239
Speaker 5: Then she gets on her knees and you dip your

534
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 5: balls inside like a like a little baby bird wetness,

535
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 5: little bait.

536
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: Not to pick partners. Let's draw straws. They don't you fraws.

537
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: It's terrible for the environment.

538
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 12: But recrudraw from the house stealdog collection.

539
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 4: You have a house dildo collection.

540
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 1: We need to search every inch of this place and

541
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,400
Speaker 1: find vandy before the killer does.

542
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 8: Does this murder make me look gay? Stars Michael Ury

543
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 8: as James Wilson, Douglas Sills as Reginald Divine, Robin de

544
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:27,720
Speaker 8: Jessus as Wilmer Munroe, Sienne Jackson as Jacques Saint Cox,

545
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 8: Sean Patrick Doyle as Madame Moon, Brad Oscar as Tush

546
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 8: von Munch, Nathan Lee Graham as Henry Jacobs, Frankie Grande

547
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 8: as Kelly Raymore, and Flanagan, Seth Radetsky as Polly Barker,

548
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 8: Leah Delaria as TJ featuring Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferry

549
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 8: with Leah Salanga as herself and Jonathan Freeman as Vandy

550
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 8: Jeremiah Munroe the Third. Additional performances by Ryan Steele, Mallory Portnoy,

551
00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 8: Emily Lynn, Nacho, Tam Bonting written and directed by Ted Mallower.

552
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 8: Executive producer Ted Mallower. Executive producers for Ninth Planet Audio

553
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 8: Elizabeth Baquitt and Jimmy Miller. Hank Woodard served as story editor.

554
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 8: Original score composed by Peter Lherman. Original score produced and

555
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 8: mixed by Alex Banoff. Theme song performed by Ted Mallower,

556
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 8: written by Ted Mallower and Peter Lerman. Piano accompaniment for

557
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 8: Madame Moon by Jacob Yates. Casting by Adam Caldwell, Karen

558
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,040
Speaker 8: Cassel and Rachel Hoffman at Telsey and Company. Audio post

559
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 8: production by One Thousand Birds Principal recording, Dialogue, editing, sound

560
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 8: design and mixing by Torren Geller, Andrew Tracy and Haley Livingston.

561
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 8: Audio post executive producers Gwen Frailing and Kiera McKnight. Production

562
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 8: coordinators Hannah Dickinson, Gillian Langanelli, Isabella Danzy and Rose kelso Key.

563
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 8: Art by Ben Wiseman, Production accounting by Dill pret singh

564
00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 8: Special thanks to Jordan Serf, Daniella Fetterman, Morgan Gould, Eric Harper,

565
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 8: Aaron Jenkin, Chelsea Crepps, Will O'Donnell, Don Saltzman, Michael Stearns

566
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 8: and Josh Pultz. Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay?

567
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 8: Is a production of Ninth Planet Audio in association with

568
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 8: iHeart Podcasts. This podcast was recorded under a SAG after

569
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 8: a collective bargaining agreement.

570
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 1: Is Dona milverlanding Rentro, I don't know, I know.

571
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 8: No, Ninth Planet Audio Capcom.

572
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 3: We're overlanding.

573
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 1: You're blaming no