WEBVTT - Commitment Issues 0:00:01.200 --> 0:00:03.360 It's very distracting to sit next to you when you 0:00:03.400 --> 0:00:06.000 look this good. Okay, well, sweetheart, let me just tell you. 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:08.440 I'm not trying to be suggestive here, because you know 0:00:08.480 --> 0:00:11.000 how shy I am. But when I button my shortest 0:00:11.760 --> 0:00:14.240 modest when I butt my shirt, you see that pucker. 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:17.400 That's not acceptable. So I don't care. I'll just rather 0:00:17.440 --> 0:00:19.520 have a little Cleveland. You have a little Dolly parton 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:22.160 stretch across the bosom when you try and button it. Yeah, 0:00:22.160 --> 0:00:26.439 and you can't keep your eyes where yeah, fixation on 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:29.280 your breast. Today, I walk up the stairs, so I 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:31.760 went to the house before we recorded today, and you're 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:35.519 just standing there like presenting yourself peacocking, and it's very 0:00:35.560 --> 0:00:38.920 hard for me not to be enamored with your boobs. Well, 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:41.199 it's hard for me to only be enamored by a 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:44.319 gay man for my looks and my boobs. I mean, 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:46.560 it's out of men going to get what we want. 0:00:46.680 --> 0:00:48.760 I don't know. I don't know. The way that I 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:52.160 was getting men that I wanted was by inappropriate behavior, 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:55.000 which is not which is forbidden now, So like you 0:00:55.000 --> 0:00:57.960 can't even guys aren't even they're pretty much too scared 0:00:58.000 --> 0:01:00.240 to even hit on us right now, so like there's 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:02.520 not a lot of action happening. And and by the way, 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:05.200 keep it that way outside of that dress and there 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:08.800 will be action happening. You look like for anyone listening 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:10.920 who gets this reference, she looks like a sexy miss 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:15.200 Honey today from Matilda. I mean, it's like an amish dress, 0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:18.200 but you somehow make it sexy. Thank you, thank you, sweetheart. 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:20.280 I appreciate that. I just want to build you up. 0:01:20.360 --> 0:01:22.640 I had a rough night in my bed last night. 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:26.120 Bert fell out of the bed last night. Yeah. Well, 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:29.520 first let me tell you I last it was a lot. 0:01:29.680 --> 0:01:32.120 It was a loud thump, and I was like, oh god, 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:34.360 you must have broken an arm. Of course I didn't 0:01:34.360 --> 0:01:35.920 get up because I was like, he'll figure it out. 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:39.600 But so soft, it doesn't matter. His bones aren't like 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:42.399 you know, they're not brittle, they're just like soft. Also, 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:45.759 but I was sleeping and I felt like this hangnail 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:49.640 on my finger and I remember just lifting my arm 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:53.440 out off of the bed and reaching out for somebody 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:56.480 to clip that was going to come in manicure. In 0:01:56.520 --> 0:01:58.720 that moment, yeah, I thought somebody was just gonna like 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:00.040 you were there and you were going to clip a 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:02.880 hang or somebody was in my dream materialized and then 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:04.320 I realized that my arm was up. I was like, 0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:06.320 what are you doing? I was like, oh, this fucking hang. Now. 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:09.359 I have those little things in bed sometimes where it's 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:12.280 such an irritation and it's so minor, like I will 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:14.360 rub in between my eyebrows and if I feel one 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:16.360 of those really coarse unit brow hairs, I will have 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:18.399 to get out of bed to go pluck it before 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:21.240 I can fall asleep. Oh yes, of course, but well 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:24.000 I did because I don't have a hair in between 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:27.239 my eyebrows that's growing currently because I'm forty six, So 0:02:27.440 --> 0:02:31.320 that river stopped. Did you get that lasered off? Probably? Yeah, 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:33.440 that might be why it's not growing. Also, thank you 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:36.200 for reminding me, sweetheart. I mean, I've done laser hair 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:39.520 removal two rounds, but rounds and nothing works in the 0:02:39.520 --> 0:02:42.520 middle of your eyebrows. No, I want to do my eyebrows, 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:45.880 but you can't. You can't pluck them for months, like 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:47.200 you just have to shave it. And I'm not going 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:49.120 to be some who shaves their eyebrows. Just keep your 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:51.720 eyebrows going. Anybody who sucks with their eyebrows is making 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:54.000 a mistake because when you get older, they don't come back. 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:57.600 Just hold onto your eyelashes and your eyebrows. The best 0:02:57.639 --> 0:02:59.120 thing I did in my adult life was letting my 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:01.519 eyebrows grow, and because I had very gay eyebrows for 0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:03.920 a while and now they're what are they now? They 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:06.480 are big Italian eyebrows. But it looks like you're peacocking 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:09.840 with your eyebrows. I don't have breasts. I could I 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:11.800 kind of do a little bit. Now, yeah, you do. 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:14.320 You have a little booby action, not like I do. 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:17.280 But nobody, no one, no one has that sort of action. 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:20.840 I just feel like we've done such good work here lately, 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:23.480 and I don't want we can't. We can't pat ourselves 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:26.000 on the back like that. It's too obnoxious. It excites 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:28.200 me to come in here, I know, right, yes, maybe 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:30.960 that's the what I mean that excites me. That we've 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:34.560 gotten to speak to people, and every time we sit 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:36.040 down and studio, I'm like, who are we going to 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:38.560 talk to you today? Well, also that we've had such 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:41.200 serious issues come in right, I mean the other day. 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:42.880 I mean, we drove home the other day and we 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:45.000 were like, oh my god, these are serious issues. So 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:47.320 it's good that we have kind of a cabal of 0:03:47.400 --> 0:03:50.200 like people to bring in for certain people, because I 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:52.040 think we are a little bit out of our league 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:54.320 in some of these areas. I thought these were just 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:56.480 going to be typical advice giving and some of them 0:03:56.520 --> 0:03:58.120 are a little bit more deep. But I like that 0:03:58.160 --> 0:03:59.680 we're smart enough to know that they were, like, hey, 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:01.839 leardering someone else. And when we do need to bring 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:04.320 somebody else in, we will, And when we just need 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:07.640 to be sweethearts together, that's what we'll do. Also, we're 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:09.160 going to take a break right now and we're going 0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:13.320 to be right back. I think we should just get 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:16.440 right into it today. I would really like to start 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:19.279 tackling some of these issues because today is all about 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:23.200 commitment issues, and I think we both have our own 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:26.479 perspectives on these. Well, you're in a committed relationship and 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:30.760 I'm not. Well, there you go. That's very telling. Our 0:04:30.800 --> 0:04:33.240 first mission comes from Kaylee, She writes, Dear Chelsea, I 0:04:33.279 --> 0:04:35.839 have an important question for you. Nearly two years ago, 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:37.719 I got out of a ten year relationship. It was 0:04:37.880 --> 0:04:40.039 very hard, but the right thing to do. I'm in 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:42.000 a good place now, well as good as I can 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:44.360 be living at home with my parents during a global pandemic. 0:04:44.800 --> 0:04:46.880 I have a great job that I love, and I'm 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:49.960 lucky enough to have comfortable income. I have wonderful friends, 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:52.280 and I'm able to chase passions in my spare time 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:56.200 like skiing. Oh that's good, Kaylee. So on the question, 0:04:56.440 --> 0:04:58.560 how do I know if I'm ready for love again? 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:00.960 I think the idea of marriage insane after the ship 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:03.320 that I went through. I honestly can't see myself being 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:05.440 with someone, but I don't want to be closed off either. 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:07.800 How do I learn to trust again? How do I 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:10.760 decide if and when I need a partner in my life? 0:05:10.800 --> 0:05:12.839 I mean, this is something that everyone goes through after 0:05:12.839 --> 0:05:17.080 a breakup. So yeah, yeah, yeah, she on the phone. Hi, 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:20.080 Hi Kyley. Hi. First of all, what kind of spelling 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:24.400 is that? Are you Nordic or it's Gaelic? Gaelic? That's 0:05:24.440 --> 0:05:29.800 what I met, Gaelic Nordic. Yeah the fuck Brandon. Hi, Kayley, 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:32.600 It's nice to see you. How are you doing good? Thanks? 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:35.080 How are you? We're well? Thank you? How long have 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:39.200 you been single? Almost two years in July? Huh? You 0:05:39.279 --> 0:05:42.560 look nice? You look nice and sweet? Why did it end. 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:45.719 The best way to sum it up is I read 0:05:45.760 --> 0:05:48.360 the definition of what it is to be gaslighted about 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:52.200 a year later and was shook. So I think it 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:55.760 was just that kind of situation where the reality that 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:57.880 we all live in wasn't the reality that he was 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:01.080 trying to reflect. So really happy to be out of it. 0:06:01.320 --> 0:06:04.200 But the thing that's happening now is people keep asking me, well, 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:06.200 when are you going to do something about your situation? 0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:07.840 I'm like, what do I ask to do? That's because 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:10.440 people are fucking unoriginal and they don't have anything more 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:12.400 interesting to ask you than to say, when are you 0:06:12.440 --> 0:06:14.360 going to have a new boyfriend? What's going on? Are 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:17.000 you dating? I can't tell you how many times. I 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:19.839 mean even now, it's like know me less, like that 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:22.320 is not part of my identity who I'm dating, or 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:25.679 that's not my main agenda in life is who I'm dating. 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:28.039 I have a sister in law Russian. Her name is Olga, 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:30.200 and she every time I come home, she said, don't 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:33.440 see any men an I'm like, Olga, I don't want 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:35.640 to talk about men on my vacation with my family, 0:06:35.720 --> 0:06:38.159 Like that's the least of my worries, you know, so 0:06:38.240 --> 0:06:40.359 I understand how annoying it is to be asked that 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:42.800 question over and over and over again. But people just 0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:45.240 don't have any original questions to ask, because then if 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:47.320 you're with someone, then it's the next question is when 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:49.640 are you's gonna get married? And then when you get married, 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:51.160 it's when are you going to have a baby. The 0:06:51.200 --> 0:06:54.320 bigger issue here is that people think your identity only 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:56.680 comes from being with someone, and when you're with them, 0:06:57.000 --> 0:07:00.720 how that dynamic embodies who you are, Like you're You're 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:03.960 a full person outside of that relationship. That's why relationships 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.320 like you need to maintain some autonomy in a relationship. 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:09.480 I hate when people couple you together. That's like, oh, 0:07:09.520 --> 0:07:12.280 the Johnson's whomever. It's like no, no no, no. Or women, 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:15.240 I mean, this is so terrible. But women who write 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:18.000 in their Instagram bio like wife to so and so. 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:20.040 It's like, that's how you want to identify yourself? No, 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:22.160 I know, I hear you, I hear you. I think 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:25.280 it's important for you to maintain like your single dom 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.600 in a way where you're not expecting it to go 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:30.280 in any direction. Like to be open minded means you're 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:33.760 open for anything that's unexpected. Any change. You're open minded 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:36.120 to being single, if that's the road you're supposed to 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:38.880 go down. You're open minded to dating, and you're open 0:07:38.880 --> 0:07:42.760 minded to having a relationship, like a more serious relationship. 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:45.640 And if you live like that where it's not dependent, 0:07:45.760 --> 0:07:48.360 like you know, some people are desperate to find someone 0:07:48.840 --> 0:07:52.080 and that just ends up defining them in the wrong way, right, 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:55.000 like why do you need another person so badly? So 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:58.360 as long as you're like celebrating your single dom in 0:07:58.400 --> 0:08:00.680 the right way, a, people are gonna be attracted to that. 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:03.880 You know, people are interested in that in independence, and 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:06.040 you're more likely to find the type of guy that 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:09.160 you're going to be attracted to if you're really into 0:08:09.280 --> 0:08:12.680 being you know, your true authentic self. Kayley, are you 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:15.880 dating at all? No, not at all, Not in a while. 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:18.880 I just it was it's it's just not where I 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:20.800 wanted to put the energy in my life. I wanted 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:23.800 to have fun at work, have fun friends. Yeah, a 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:25.720 good way to say that. I like the way you 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:29.000 said that. Well, thanks. Yeah, there's a confidence that comes 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:30.720 with that of knowing that you don't have to be 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:33.600 fulfilled by anyone, that you're giving yourself the fulfillment that 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:36.400 you need either with an activity, skiing, with work, whatever 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:39.559 that looks like for you. But there's also an element 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:42.280 of those minor interactions that you could go on a 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:44.480 date without confidence and not worry if there's going to 0:08:44.520 --> 0:08:46.400 be a second day, that you make the decision like, oh, 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:50.040 I'm actually not into this guy at all. Like that's powerful, 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:52.400 and knowing that I don't need you gives you a 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:55.440 lot more space to interact with people without the burden 0:08:55.480 --> 0:08:58.520 of where is this going to go? Yeah, I couldn't 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:00.600 agree with that more. And I find it it took 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:02.520 away from my life instead of adding to it. And 0:09:02.559 --> 0:09:05.240 it's just all the wrong reasons. And I find people 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:07.040 kind of put you on their track of what they 0:09:07.040 --> 0:09:08.760 want you to do, who they want you to be, 0:09:08.840 --> 0:09:11.360 and I just am not interested in that in any way, 0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:13.880 shape or form, right exactly. And that's the important thing 0:09:14.000 --> 0:09:16.120 is not to let yourself be defined by what others 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:18.520 expect from you, Right, Who gives a ship what others 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:20.520 expect from you? It's what do you expect from you? 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:22.840 And also you know when you get out of a 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:26.719 relationship where there is an unhealthy attachment. I remember I 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:28.760 broke up with this one boyfriend, and we had this 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:31.840 really volatile relationship for years. It went on on and 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:34.160 off and on and off, and everyone was just like 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:37.000 all our friends were like, shut up already, you know 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:39.880 you too, just like break up already. And I just 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:42.959 wanted to dream of the time where I wouldn't be heartbroken. 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:44.640 I just wanted to think of the time I go. 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:47.880 I just want to be so fiercely single that this 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:50.320 person doesn't affect me at all. You know that there's 0:09:50.360 --> 0:09:54.280 no tether to him and I. When I got there, 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:57.360 I remember reminding myself, like, oh my god, this is 0:09:57.400 --> 0:09:59.840 where you've been hoping to be for so long. And 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:02.800 sit in this and enjoy this moment, you know, enjoy 0:10:02.880 --> 0:10:05.640 the freedom of not being tethered to somebody who is 0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:09.080 giving you bad vibes. I love that it seems like 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:11.280 you know exactly kind of where you're at and what 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:13.000 you want. So I don't know that there's much advice 0:10:13.080 --> 0:10:14.439 that we can give you, because it seems like you 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:16.920 are operating in the way that we've We've had this 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:21.280 a similar discussion with many callers, and they really don't 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:26.000 know how to reconcile where they're at. But it seems 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:30.200 like you know and have great confidence in your positioning 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:34.199 personally probably professionally right now that you don't need you 0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:36.440 really don't need any advice from us, Like you know 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:39.160 you're doing the right thing. Well, I think your take 0:10:39.240 --> 0:10:42.040 is so different than the average person. So I feel 0:10:42.040 --> 0:10:44.000 like I get so much pressure and that's the first 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:46.640 thing people ask when they see me. So it's just 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:48.400 nice to hear it from people who are kind of 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:50.800 understanding of that, because that's not the reality I live 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:53.000 in right now. And I know people just want to 0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:55.560 make conversation, but it's the worst. Can I ask where 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:57.240 you don't have to give us a specific but where 0:10:57.240 --> 0:10:59.320 are you in the US? Like Midwest? Are you on 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:03.280 a coast? I'm in Canada, Okay, So, like I always 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:05.040 think when I hear of these types of things, I'm 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:07.520 from the Midwest. And again, there's like a very specific 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:10.440 trajectory of life for women that they're married with kids 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:12.640 by certain age, and I think that you have to 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:16.640 be able to enter those conversations with like a confidence 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:18.400 and authority of like this is where I'm at, Like 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:19.960 I don't, I don't need this. You need to kind 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:21.280 of put it back on them, like why would you 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:23.360 think that I need a man. Make them think about 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:26.080 what they're asking, how ridiculous it is, Like, why do 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:27.760 I need that? That's a really good point. I never 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.120 thought to do that. And also like, you don't want 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:32.199 anybody who's ever going to take away, right, you only 0:11:32.200 --> 0:11:34.480 want an additive. All my friends are like, Chelsea, you're 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.640 so picky. Your standards are so high. I go, they 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:39.520 can be. I'm fine without a man, so they can 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:41.319 be as fucking high as I want them to be. 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:44.280 And until somebody fulfills those standards that it's not going 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:47.880 to happen because I'm perfectly happy being alone. Also, I 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:51.200 love that. And you're also never alone. I'm never alone. No, no, 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:53.600 I'm never alone, not when I'm raising the two parents 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:57.480 I mean two parents parents. I was raising my parents 0:11:57.520 --> 0:11:59.040 and they both died, so that's how great of a 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:00.840 parent I am. And now I have two dogs who 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:04.000 will probably transition into the afterlife after I raised them. 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:07.120 But you hear what we're saying, yes they do. Can 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:08.680 Will you let us know if and when you do 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:11.240 start dating and what that's like for you and what 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:13.800 sort of men are out in the Canadian pond, because sweetheart, 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:15.480 you know I don't know if you're aware, but she 0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:17.400 now has a home in Canada, so we're gonna need 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:19.679 to find her some prospects. Yeah, I need a mountain man. 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:22.720 I need a big, strong Canadian mountain man who's gonna 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:25.920 flip me over and spin me around. Okay, Well, we're 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:29.079 gonna manifest this for you somebody and Albert our BC 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:31.880 we can do it. Okay, Well, if he's out there, yeah, yeah, 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:34.600 we'll manifest, will manifest together, will manifest both of our 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:37.439 future lovers. Yes, might could just be a dog though, 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:39.600 or something like that, doesn't have to be an actual person. 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:43.240 A dog is a great addition to anyone's life. That's 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:45.240 always an enhancement. That's what you want from a man, 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:46.760 and that's what you'll get from a dog. There's gonna 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:48.880 be a nice little pick me up in life. Take 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:51.240 you out. You have company, and you don't really have 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:54.320 to answer to them, so even better. That's that's the advice. 0:12:54.400 --> 0:12:59.240 Go get a dog. Perfect by Kaylee, Thank you, thank you. 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.320 I It is true though, when I come home and 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:05.720 I see Bert and I just think, like when I 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:07.760 come home to the house and there's no one, they're 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:12.439 just the dogs. There is a feeling of happiness and 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:15.520 comfort that is just like lifts me. You know, that 0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:19.760 is like, oh it's yeah, it's so closy, and I 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:22.520 could sit with him for fucking forty minutes and rub 0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:25.520 him and rub his belly. You know. It's the lack 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:31.160 of pressure in that situation where there there's love and interaction, 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:34.880 but there's no expectation. Yeah, there's no there's no one 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:37.360 I have. My friend just left her husband and she's like, 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:39.439 oh God, it's so nice not having to cook dinner. 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:43.520 I'm like, cook dinner. What are you in my coup 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:46.400 is preparing dinner for their husband. She's like lots of women, Chelsea, 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:48.720 And I'm like, okay, well, there's one thing about single 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:51.200 dumb well A I can't cook even for myself, so 0:13:51.480 --> 0:13:53.600 I wouldn't be cooking for another person unless he had 0:13:53.640 --> 0:13:57.040 no taste buds or an all egg white diet. Egg whites, 0:13:57.080 --> 0:14:01.199 turkey and protein shakes is what I pay sickly subsisting on. 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:04.600 Ever since I saw c Spiracy, she seems like she's 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:06.600 going to be just fine. So it's an interesting mix 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:09.679 of people who submit or call in because I think 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:11.680 a lot of people know exactly where they're at and 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:13.920 they just want someone they want Yeah, they want somebody 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:17.120 to give them the sign stamp of approval, right, And 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:19.960 that's what we're here for. Sometimes, sweetheart, Sometimes the heavy 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:22.400 lifting isn't up to us, It's up to the caller. Well, 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:25.000 let's see what Emily's got going on. She is a 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:28.400 year old from Maryland. She works in healthcare, and she writes, 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:31.840 Dear Chelsea, I have a thirty two a cup at 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:33.600 a hundred and thirty six pounds, so this is out 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:37.360 of my wheelhouse. I used to weigh two hundred pounds 0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:39.440 and my boobs were the same size a girl. Small 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.680 boobs and no ass means no sex life. I've considered 0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:45.840 a fat transfer, bread segmentation. I've considered breast and plants. 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:48.800 I've considered being flat chested until I die. I've had 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:51.800 two plastic surgeon consultations. But I want your advice. My 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.040 family and friends are on board. I'm just afraid of 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:56.480 breast and plant illness. What happens if and when I 0:14:56.520 --> 0:15:02.200 get pregnant and do or don't breastfeed? Okay? Great, Emily, Hi, Hi, 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:05.880 how are you. I'm good, I'm good. How are you doing? Doing? 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:11.000 Really good? Okay, so talk to us about your body situation. So, 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:13.920 my boys, as I like to call them, because they're 0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:17.280 not girls, very very small. I've been flat chested pretty 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:19.880 much my whole life. Like you guys were saying, I 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:22.120 was two hundred pounds at one point in my life. 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:25.240 Boobs stayed the same size, like I was, just like 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:28.040 flat and then big round stomach, no ask nothing. Oh 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:30.480 my god, so you got big. You got big like that, 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:33.320 and your breast didn't get bigger with you nothing. That's 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:36.560 a real kick in the ass. So I lost all 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:39.520 this weight and then still am somewhat confident, but not 0:15:39.640 --> 0:15:42.640 like fully confident, just because I wish I looked more 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:44.960 like a female had big boobs, could strut into a 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:47.720 bar and like people would notice me. So yeah, I 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:50.120 just wanted to ask you if you had a small chest, 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:52.560 what do you think you would do well? I always 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:54.960 I admire people with small chest because it's so not 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:57.440 I mean, I got my boobs so prematurely. They came 0:15:57.480 --> 0:15:59.640 on the scene when like overnight once summer when I 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:02.280 was old, and I literally woke up some guy put 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:03.840 his arm around me in a movie theater, and I'm 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:07.880 convinced that gave me my period because and seriously he 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:09.960 gave The next morning, I said to my sister and 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:12.120 her sorority sister was at our house and Martha's viniar, 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:14.520 and I said, I got my period. And my sister 0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:16.520 gave me to her best friend, Audrey, and she's like, Audrey, 0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:18.800 will you help her? She got her period, and Audrey 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:21.520 started showing me how to use Anyway, Listen, I got 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:24.200 my period of my boobs came in overnight. Okay. So 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:26.920 the point is, I've never had small breast, but I 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.360 always admire small breast because it's such a nice look 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:32.480 that I've never had experience with. So I like that look. 0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:35.480 But I understand that you, having had small breast, your 0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:39.160 entire life are probably over it. So let's talk about that. Well. Well, 0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:41.400 And I was just gonna say that the different perspectives 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:44.640 are so interesting from an outside listener because what you're 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:48.320 describing and your definition of being womanly and that you 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:54.000 want to have this chest because to some degree embodies feminism. 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:56.040 Chelsea has had that, and she's spoken about this lot, 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:58.120 but she had an X who said they weren't elegant 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:03.120 because they were basically too big. So it's interesting. You're 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:06.320 two different perspectives on what it means to have these 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:08.880 breasts and how it must feel for a woman who 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:11.800 has them and who does not their viewpoint on other 0:17:11.840 --> 0:17:15.480 women's bodies. Yeah, you're always like, it's you're just looking 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:17.440 at what the grass is. Great, You're right, So that's 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:19.360 the thing. So if you're really thinking about it, you've 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:22.800 had two consultations, so you're really considering it obviously, and 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:27.280 everyone's supportive of that decision. Yeah, they are in your 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:30.359 family and stuff. Yeah, I mean, it's obviously not a 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:32.240 decision I can make for you. But I would say 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:35.080 I understand when people want to fix things about their 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:37.600 bodies like that. They don't like I've done that. I 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:40.240 have done that. I've had laser. I had a full 0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:43.120 body laser once. I mean I've done some crazy ship 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:45.760 So yeah, I understand wanting to do that. And I 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:47.960 think if you've really thought about it long and hard, 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:50.280 then you have your decision there. You know you've done 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:53.760 all the due diligence, you've gotten a second opinion, you 0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:56.120 know you're weighing like all the options, and you're thinking 0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:59.440 about what the future holds if you do get that surgery, 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:02.639 which is really smart. You're thinking about breastfeeding and infection, 0:18:03.160 --> 0:18:06.040 and I think those are all questions obviously for your doctor, 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:08.720 so that they could answer them more soundly than I can. 0:18:08.800 --> 0:18:11.760 Because as a reminder in this episode, I'm not a doctor, 0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:15.359 but I wish I was, so I have to constantly 0:18:15.359 --> 0:18:18.359 remind people that I'm not a medical professional. But I 0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:20.480 think you have made your decision, and I think you're 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:22.400 on the right track to do that. But you want 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:26.159