Speaker 1: Hi guys, we are here again. Welcome to another episode
Speaker 1: of Horrible Decisions the Sea Girl Mandib And we actually
Speaker 1: didn't think we were going to be able to have videos.
Speaker 1: That's what I did. I was like, oh, we're good.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I mean I yes. I I didn't know
Speaker 1: if our guest today was going to want to be
Speaker 1: on video today because we're actually kind of talking about
Speaker 1: something a little serious. But before we but he consented.
Speaker 1: I want you guys to know that we know how
Speaker 1: to ask for consent and we said it in a
Speaker 1: very sexy way. Can we film you yes means yes?
Speaker 1: Before we get into Horrible Decisions today, I did want
Speaker 1: to go ahead and give a huge shout out UM
Speaker 1: to the Joe Button Podcast for shouting us out on
Speaker 1: their podcast, UM last week, dope. Well, I think we're
Speaker 1: gonna go ahead and drop this next week. So just
Speaker 1: because we're having issues making sure we get you guys
Speaker 1: the best quality of videos for YouTube, and again shout
Speaker 1: out to our YouTube viewer is um, you guys are
Speaker 1: showing us love. You guys appreciate when we dropped the videos,
Speaker 1: y'all can kind of see our faces or whatnot, So
Speaker 1: that's super exciting. I did want to go ahead. We
Speaker 1: did get an email in response to UM one of
Speaker 1: the things that Rory said, and I wanted to bring UM,
Speaker 1: to bring light to it because I thought that it
Speaker 1: was important to kind of make sure we're we're not UM,
Speaker 1: what do I say, maybe spreading information that maybe inaccurate.
Speaker 1: I know, we try to, you know, teach you guys
Speaker 1: as much as we can. And Rory mentioned UM during
Speaker 1: the consent talk and the drunk sex talk that most
Speaker 1: men are always to blame when they go to court
Speaker 1: and you can't win in court. So I wanted to
Speaker 1: read one of these letters from our listeners. They actually said,
Speaker 1: I'm just listening to your latest podcast and want to
Speaker 1: point out that what your guest Rory said about men
Speaker 1: always losing in court of law is bullshit. Out of
Speaker 1: every thousand rapes in the US, only six perpetrators will
Speaker 1: be incarcerated. And I do want to say She also
Speaker 1: included a link for us to do our own research. UM.
Speaker 1: I'm afraid that Rory spread some very damaging and dangerous
Speaker 1: myths about the treatment of rape and sexual assault in
Speaker 1: the criminal justice system. That being said, the discussion about
Speaker 1: consent is very important and I think you're right to
Speaker 1: be having it with men would be better, um if
Speaker 1: those men had their facts straight. Though. I think that
Speaker 1: what Rory was just saying is that as men, you
Speaker 1: need to be even more careful, um, because we know,
Speaker 1: and as we've been seeing with everything that's been going on.
Speaker 1: Even if you're accused the court of like ship, not
Speaker 1: even the real court, but public opinion pens you was guilty, right,
Speaker 1: So I think that's maybe something he was trying to
Speaker 1: reference more so than anything, when when he said that,
Speaker 1: I was immediately thinking of the what's the swimmer brock
Speaker 1: something I don't know when when he's the white boy
Speaker 1: that raped the girl and then he got off completely
Speaker 1: scott free. He was woman or something like that. I
Speaker 1: don't remember who we rate like I heard it was
Speaker 1: like an elderly woman was that it No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: this is somebody else that was on here and you
Speaker 1: don't like community service. Yeah, he was like this like
Speaker 1: star swimmer and you know, you know just I mean,
Speaker 1: it's weird because when Marity said that, I think her
Speaker 1: and I both like nodded our heads. And it's because
Speaker 1: you always just know that they're such a bad like
Speaker 1: you never get away from it. It's just this bad
Speaker 1: stigma attached to you for life. You're always going to
Speaker 1: be a rapist, no matter what the funk you do.
Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't know that until that girl sent
Speaker 1: the ad or I don't know if it was a
Speaker 1: man or a woman sent them the link. And I
Speaker 1: really appreciate you for doing that, because, to be honest
Speaker 1: with you, I couldn't believe the numbers. What was it?
Speaker 1: One and every how many people? Oh I didn't I
Speaker 1: didn't look at it. It was a crazy number, like
Speaker 1: one in every sixty six or something like that. Get
Speaker 1: a cute, I mean, or get um? What's the word
Speaker 1: I'm looking for. I'm for the first time. You know
Speaker 1: what that is. I'm sucked up is this crazy workout
Speaker 1: ship and I'm like zoned in on like everything in
Speaker 1: this room. It's like adderall but like for the gym,
Speaker 1: and I feel insane by the way. I want to
Speaker 1: let you guys know, Welcome to Horrible Decisions. If you're
Speaker 1: ran new listener from Joe Budden's podcast and you heard
Speaker 1: rory um. Every week, we have different types of guests,
Speaker 1: whether they're kinky or whether they're an influencer, whoever they
Speaker 1: might be. This week, Um, we have someone super special
Speaker 1: and you're gonna find out where they're here. We have
Speaker 1: a few different topics that we talked about every week,
Speaker 1: a few different segments, and then when we're about to
Speaker 1: get into is called vanilla shit, where pretty much is
Speaker 1: gonna be the most vanilla ship we talk about. It's
Speaker 1: something in the news where sex is there, um, whether
Speaker 1: it be something like someone getting accused of rape, or
Speaker 1: someone selling their panties online, or the girl in Japan
Speaker 1: who was sucking too under people, whatever it might be.
Speaker 1: And this week it's about gay porn studies. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's something that I actually came across UM looking.
Speaker 1: I'm on Twitter, so of course a lot of people
Speaker 1: send me um some pretty weird things. And I've mentioned
Speaker 1: multiple times on the show that I am a female
Speaker 1: who was into watching gay porn. You're not the only one,
Speaker 1: And apparently the new study actually says um. Back in
Speaker 1: two thousand fifteen, the wildly popular online pornography site Pornhub,
Speaker 1: which both over a hundred and fifteen million daily views,
Speaker 1: published findings that took sexuality researcher Lucy a. Ville by surprise.
Speaker 1: Women are responsible for more than a third of the
Speaker 1: site's gay male porn views UM and so I am
Speaker 1: going to attach this link onto our Patreon account for
Speaker 1: those of you who are patrons, and basically you can
Speaker 1: read up on it basically talking about the psychological factors
Speaker 1: as to why women prefer gay porn over I think
Speaker 1: this is weird. Men like watching lesbian porn if women
Speaker 1: are head a sexual and the male body. Some men do,
Speaker 1: but but all not women. I mean, all women don't
Speaker 1: like gay male porn either. But here's the thing, Like,
Speaker 1: if you like a certain body type in your head
Speaker 1: or right, and then you get to see two of them,
Speaker 1: it's like the best. I mean, that's why I'm sure
Speaker 1: we like to watch it. Well, they the study actually
Speaker 1: went in depth as to why they say women like
Speaker 1: to watch it, and one of the things that I
Speaker 1: read that was fairly interesting was that they feel like
Speaker 1: women in straight porn are often treated poorly. Um. They
Speaker 1: kind of feel like the women are being disrespected and porn,
Speaker 1: which I I agree to that a lot of the times.
Speaker 1: It's not a very intimate porn. I will say, if
Speaker 1: you are into watching intimate straight porn, UM, I only
Speaker 1: like BBC's clearly when I watch porn, but black b
Speaker 1: l A c K E D. It's it's filmed very intimate.
Speaker 1: Oh it's super into. I mean, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: And I would say the production value production values super good,
Speaker 1: but it means to me they show like everyone is consenting,
Speaker 1: like it does. It looks like everyone is just o joint.
Speaker 1: So let me tell you about some intimate Like there's
Speaker 1: a genre called I think it's f E M M
Speaker 1: like fem fem porn. You can google fem porn. There's
Speaker 1: someone called Erica Lust. I brought her up a few times,
Speaker 1: and it's a woman that makes porn for women based
Speaker 1: on stories that people send into her. I think she
Speaker 1: has a Patreon. You can watch it. But like, there
Speaker 1: is porn created with like a whole scene with candles
Speaker 1: and ship, like the music that to me is like
Speaker 1: the intimate porn black and as intimate as I want
Speaker 1: to watch. That's some intimate ship. There's only another thing.
Speaker 1: I don't like an intimate porn too much. I like
Speaker 1: to talk to diready in bed, and I feel like
Speaker 1: the intimate porn is too soft. It's love making basically,
Speaker 1: it's like your hair is beautiful, your eyes are like
Speaker 1: an ocean and like the level and blacked because on
Speaker 1: in black it's like more so they're sucking their friend's friend,
Speaker 1: or they're sugar daddy, or they're sucking their home girl's boyfriend.
Speaker 1: They shouldn't be sucking, are they it's their first one
Speaker 1: night stand? In black? Yes, Like it's very very there's
Speaker 1: all you know, like that intimate, having fun intimate to me.
Speaker 1: All porn besides, like gonzo porn is like what's gonzo porn? Gonzo?
Speaker 1: From what I understand, it's basically just go straight into
Speaker 1: the shot, like I need a sorry line. I can
Speaker 1: do Gonzo all the time. I could do both. I
Speaker 1: don't jerk off for your story. I need at least
Speaker 1: one minute of the storyline than one minute of watching porn.
Speaker 1: And then I passed forward to the fucking I then
Speaker 1: I only like certain angles in the fucking stuff. I'm
Speaker 1: really big on telling me fast forward to the cum shot,
Speaker 1: which is why I only watch now because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I want to watch for five minutes of coum shots.
Speaker 1: I do fast forward to the shot to the time.
Speaker 1: It's just exciting for me. And now that like, so
Speaker 1: we got sponsored by Spunk lube. And it's actually, by
Speaker 1: the way, I didn't know people. I hate to say
Speaker 1: it like this, but like when someone wants to sponsor something,
Speaker 1: I feel like, are they not well known yet? And
Speaker 1: of course that's not always true, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Like you do say in Handy Blueser or whatever. So
Speaker 1: spunk Globe is a loube that looks like come. And
Speaker 1: I had it in my house and one of my
Speaker 1: age was like, oh my god, bitch, they gave you
Speaker 1: like bottles like this. Oh my god, I used this
Speaker 1: all the time and like it like it's it's it's
Speaker 1: like it looks the consistency is just like, come, what
Speaker 1: does it taste like? Oh, we ain't tasted now, it
Speaker 1: ain't flavor. It tastes fine. Sorry, but before we leave
Speaker 1: the Vanilla Show, I also wanted to note that another
Speaker 1: keep finding over the course of Netville's um research was
Speaker 1: that of the women and said that they had imagined
Speaker 1: themselves as men while consuming the gay mail erotica. And
Speaker 1: it's crazy because I don't really let's just speak of me.
Speaker 1: I don't think of myself as the male, but I
Speaker 1: either envisioned myself in the room watching and I always
Speaker 1: pick one of them to be my my boyfriend or
Speaker 1: something like, oh yeah, take that. See I've I've heard
Speaker 1: guys say that with lesbian porn. For me, I can't
Speaker 1: get down with lesbian porn only because I don't know
Speaker 1: where I fit into the equation. Like for me, when
Speaker 1: I'm watching porn, it's like I'm trying to live vicariously
Speaker 1: through the guy that's there. But if it's just girls there,
Speaker 1: I'm like, cool, am I supposed to relate to? Oh?
Speaker 1: I don't think like that. That's just me. I understand
Speaker 1: why some guys like lesbian porn and why some girls
Speaker 1: like gas. I don't need to you both just said this.
Speaker 1: I don't need to put me in there at all.
Speaker 1: I just watch it. Oh yeah, I imagine now there
Speaker 1: is a moment where like I'll watch it and then
Speaker 1: I'll like close, like there's actually this is more recently,
Speaker 1: the last thirty seconds before an orgasm. I let the
Speaker 1: phone drop and I close my eyes and then I'm
Speaker 1: like in my own thing, Like I just was like, okay,
Speaker 1: we were doing bococky done, and then I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, wakonda. That's really what I've been incurating too.
Speaker 1: Is Michael B. Jordan honestly, just everything about him, like
Speaker 1: that final scene where like he rips the shirt off
Speaker 1: and there's like, I'm just mad that he died. I'm
Speaker 1: mad that I saw all the tweets before watching the
Speaker 1: movie and I ain't know. God damn, Michael B. Jordan.
Speaker 1: I mean that made me a little bit sad because
Speaker 1: now every movie I've seen almost Michael B. Jordan and
Speaker 1: the nigga died. Fruit Vale Station. He died, motherfucking Black Panther.
Speaker 1: He died. I'm my god, damn, because he's paying villains right.
Speaker 1: He lived in uh no, no, fruit Vale. He was
Speaker 1: just a broke nigger who got shot shot. I can't
Speaker 1: think of a movie that he lived in, because what's
Speaker 1: the first movie, that superhero movie that he was in.
Speaker 1: He probably died in that dying Fantastic four there because
Speaker 1: he was alive. Yeah, I mean, it's a whack as.
Speaker 1: I'm just really hoping he comes back to Black Panther
Speaker 1: because I'm not going, I mean, I'll take died in
Speaker 1: the in the Ancestral plane when they you know, take
Speaker 1: the Earth. It's so crazy because we talked about ghosts
Speaker 1: um in the last episode and you posted the meme. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: if that nigga was alive, I him, and I swear
Speaker 1: I thought about that when Paul Walker died, like that
Speaker 1: was a white man, I would have fucked, like damn,
Speaker 1: Like I mean, is that a bad thing to be
Speaker 1: when someone dies, to be like damn? You could have
Speaker 1: got this hold on. Wait here's like a like is it? Like?
Speaker 1: I mean, immediately I thought he died and I was like,
Speaker 1: you never see him? Like they'd be like he'd be like,
Speaker 1: damn he did. Wait? Wait, have you guys ever sucked
Speaker 1: somebody that died? No? No, no, no, Like I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie. I'd be seeing them r I P T
Speaker 1: shirts and I'd be like, damn he did. I wish died.
Speaker 1: But that's kind of still live. I remember, like someone
Speaker 1: died that I know, and I sucked him, and I
Speaker 1: didn't remember I sucked him until one of my homegirls, myni,
Speaker 1: They're like, damn bit remember. I was like, no, I didn't.
Speaker 1: But I just wrote on a baby mama's Facebook, well
Speaker 1: how sorry I am. I was about to send the
Speaker 1: bitch flowers and then I was like is that wrong? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think that's bad form problem. But if you didn't
Speaker 1: remember the dick hopefully he having dicks. I don't remember.
Speaker 1: Have you ever a girl and didn't remember? Well, I
Speaker 1: feel like everyone sees the title. I feel like you,
Speaker 1: so yeah, yeah, definitely. I mean like it's when when
Speaker 1: y'all talk about like body count two, I'm like, how
Speaker 1: would I even approach that? I mean, I haven't already said,
Speaker 1: I don't really know the ansom. I have no idea.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know my body count only because I
Speaker 1: have a list. But I will tell you, Um, I
Speaker 1: have recently just been like, you know, on Instagram and
Speaker 1: like someone write me and I'd be like, oh, let
Speaker 1: me add that to my notes, and I click on
Speaker 1: a section and then you know, I put the number
Speaker 1: right by it. And I had actually have shared the
Speaker 1: list with a few homegirls and be like, I need
Speaker 1: you all to verify because yeah, I think we did
Speaker 1: it on air and I was like, are you I
Speaker 1: know you forgot this negative Niga She was adding while
Speaker 1: he was on the show. It was bad. If I
Speaker 1: typed in every name of every person that I've slept with,
Speaker 1: if I deleted that file, my iPad would be physically stage. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's ridicul you're the cash I would be spending
Speaker 1: so much money on I cloud storage already know. So
Speaker 1: normally what we'd have every week is a kink of
Speaker 1: the week. Um, And I want to know, did you
Speaker 1: end up finding a kink for them? Yeah? Yeah, So
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago I brought this up and I
Speaker 1: think Mandy was like, I don't understand how you get
Speaker 1: your hair with but I found out it's a kink.
Speaker 1: It's called trip for salond. You know what to pronunciation
Speaker 1: do you go ahead? Which is smart is prips alagnia.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, trips alagnia trip. Look he did really trips alagnia.
Speaker 1: So anyway, though, it is the joy of getting someone's
Speaker 1: hair shampoo. It is literally you found this as bro
Speaker 1: because everybody be like, damn you like that? You like that?
Speaker 1: And I'd be like, you want you want to? You
Speaker 1: want to see you want to? I mean, well, I
Speaker 1: know when I go to like the Dominicans the lines
Speaker 1: and they'd be like doing my hair and they got
Speaker 1: they do this little scratching thing in the back when
Speaker 1: they do the shampoo, and that ship do feel good?
Speaker 1: It is, So that's what I was finding out, Like, Okay,
Speaker 1: because we're are rogin Is zones and then like that's
Speaker 1: one and it's a very intimate place to be touched.
Speaker 1: And now I remember when we were talking about it
Speaker 1: in the BDSM episode about aftercare. Somebody washed my hair.
Speaker 1: So I was recent I get my hair washed a
Speaker 1: Chinatown and this like really shitty place, um and there
Speaker 1: was a new girl who was like really fucking good looking,
Speaker 1: and it was the first time I've ever opened my
Speaker 1: eyes we had my hair washed because I was just
Speaker 1: like and like it was just wet and Sophie and
Speaker 1: she was just like, it's good to h I definitely
Speaker 1: like like my I like my my neck the back
Speaker 1: of my neck rubbed, and I like the guys to
Speaker 1: play in my hair. And a lot of guys like
Speaker 1: for women to play in their hair too when they
Speaker 1: have hair, or even just to especially with my acrylic nails.
Speaker 1: Niggas love it. I'd just be like softly scratching bald
Speaker 1: heads and as short as hell. But I mean I
Speaker 1: want to go. So you guys are probably like, who
Speaker 1: is this third voice on the mic? I have questions
Speaker 1: because I just know. Man. He was like, oh, we
Speaker 1: have someone who's gonna come on. I can talk about this.
Speaker 1: This is how do you know about horrible decisions? I
Speaker 1: heard you guys on Brilliant Idiots. Okay, I came from
Speaker 1: that and then he reached out. You reached out? What
Speaker 1: on on my Twitter? You d you d have to
Speaker 1: be somewhere email okay. So um, so, guys, we are
Speaker 1: having an actual, really interesting conversation today and it may
Speaker 1: get a little deep. Um So I just want to
Speaker 1: go ahead and throw that disclaimer out there. But somehow
Speaker 1: and you'll be thinking we'd be digging for these people
Speaker 1: they come to us, so listen. You know it's his fault,
Speaker 1: but no, we actually have a real life sex addict
Speaker 1: um in the building today and he has gone through
Speaker 1: sexual addiction that has affected his job, his family, his life,
Speaker 1: his financials as well as his relationships. It's all of us.
Speaker 1: It me like, of course you're here, Like you know,
Speaker 1: how many people fucking read the caption and they were like, yo,
Speaker 1: I could have been on that ship. And I feel
Speaker 1: like everybody is going to make that joke like you
Speaker 1: know what time, which is I'm so glad because that's
Speaker 1: why he's here. And he actually he actually said, um,
Speaker 1: I just want to let you know that Mandy wheezy,
Speaker 1: both of y'all are safe because probably actually I might
Speaker 1: have it. So what I wanted to start this conversation off,
Speaker 1: and if you guys did not know, we are entering
Speaker 1: the horrible decision for this week of sexual addiction, and
Speaker 1: so I wanted to ask you what is sexual addiction? Okay?
Speaker 1: So sexual addiction is a behavioral addiction that basically means
Speaker 1: you feel compulsions to have sex or sexual interactions and
Speaker 1: you don't feel like you're in control of those compulsions.
Speaker 1: How do you differentiate that from someone who just likes
Speaker 1: a lot of sex? Because I know not that, but
Speaker 1: I just you saying that made me think of something
Speaker 1: when they say, like the mail on average, every forty
Speaker 1: five seconds or every minute thinks of sex. So what's
Speaker 1: so different with that? And like a sex addict, Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, everybody thinks about ship all the time. But
Speaker 1: it's how you act on that that's really the problem.
Speaker 1: You know, how many times have you, you know, been
Speaker 1: pissed at like a coworking, Like I wish I could
Speaker 1: slap that bitch in the mouth right now, but you
Speaker 1: don't do it. Because we live in a polite society.
Speaker 1: And you know whatever, But imagine that you just couldn't
Speaker 1: control that ship. And he was like, I wish I
Speaker 1: could say bam and then that that was it, and
Speaker 1: the many both would have killed each other if we
Speaker 1: didn't have control. There you go, yeah, it would have
Speaker 1: been dead. All right, all right, well you know that
Speaker 1: that's that's they say, if you had that, if you
Speaker 1: didn't have that that barrier in your brain, it would
Speaker 1: be the same exact name thing. So, sex addiction is
Speaker 1: basically the inability to to stop yourself and a lot
Speaker 1: of these things without a tremendous amount of learning about
Speaker 1: yourself and why these things happen and then putting in
Speaker 1: the systems that will prevent that behavior in the future.
Speaker 1: And so um, being a guy with sexual addiction, it's
Speaker 1: considered satta romania, satire romania. I don't really know how
Speaker 1: to say it, but it's the male version of nymphomania,
Speaker 1: which we're all familiar with um, which as a nymphomania
Speaker 1: pertains to women. And then there's a male version of nymphomania.
Speaker 1: And back in the day, they actually diagnosed nymphos um
Speaker 1: as having a mental disorder, and a lot of women
Speaker 1: who were seen as not being able to control their
Speaker 1: sexual desires were actually put into um asilnce not even
Speaker 1: back in the day, we actually did. I don't know
Speaker 1: if we did a vanilla ship or if I was
Speaker 1: just reading it on my own. But sex addiction in
Speaker 1: the UK is not a mental health disorder. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's mark that's fairly recent. Yeah, like within the last
Speaker 1: few weeks. And so I guess I want to talk
Speaker 1: to you more about that. Um I would love for
Speaker 1: you to just go ahead and open up to us
Speaker 1: and say when you found out your addiction and how
Speaker 1: that journey has has gone. And then of course in
Speaker 1: the mix will go ahead and want to speak on
Speaker 1: more things. But how did you know that you were
Speaker 1: a sex at it? But first off, before I go
Speaker 1: any further, I listened to the last episode with Rory
Speaker 1: and I heard he brought wine, so I had to
Speaker 1: I had to one up on it real quick. Oh look,
Speaker 1: he said, and listen day, so I heard you got
Speaker 1: the cups though I do have cups out. Hold on,
Speaker 1: let's go ahead of port because I actually guys, um
Speaker 1: as you guys know tex addiction in the control, Are
Speaker 1: you trying to get drunk? No? No, no, all right,
Speaker 1: So I heard the episode a while back with the
Speaker 1: Sante and I heard you guys talking about one of
Speaker 1: his live shows where he had wine from pomp Pet
Speaker 1: Wine Shop. Actually they're they're my neighbors. So shout shout
Speaker 1: out to Mote from pom Pet and that's a black
Speaker 1: owned wine company in Harlem. Correct. Yeah, I'm Puerto Rican.
Speaker 1: My my father or man who raised me is black
Speaker 1: and he's like your nigot me. So all right, let's
Speaker 1: go ahead and so so so okay, look now the
Speaker 1: guests is just showing up, you know, bringing wine and
Speaker 1: she you know, I don't know what, so go ahead
Speaker 1: and share with our listeners. UM, kind of your sex
Speaker 1: addiction and you know how you got from where you
Speaker 1: were to where you are now okay, So UM, I
Speaker 1: didn't realize my sexual addiction until, like I would say,
Speaker 1: my early twenties, but like looking back, I am thirty.
Speaker 1: Um looking back on it now, I can see where
Speaker 1: it started. So not every sex addiction UM starts from
Speaker 1: sexual trauma, but for some people it does. For me,
Speaker 1: it did, UM so from sexual trauma at a very
Speaker 1: young age. UM that kind of carried itself through until
Speaker 1: um or it kind of suppressed itself until maybe like
Speaker 1: mid teens. Yeah, by a neighbor or female male. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he wasn't that much older than me, but he
Speaker 1: was just old enough that I was like looking back,
Speaker 1: and I was like, that was fucked up, right, So
Speaker 1: now looking back, I see porn was like the first
Speaker 1: thing that really like triggered it, because like, once I
Speaker 1: started watching porn, I was like uncontrollable. I was just like,
Speaker 1: I feel bad for every computer that I've I feel
Speaker 1: like every teenage boy was jerking off a lot. What
Speaker 1: made you so different? Because every guy's gonna hear this,
Speaker 1: and me, like, dude, I jerked off NonStop. I watched
Speaker 1: porn five times a day, so I heumped everything in
Speaker 1: the house. Well, I used to suck myself and watch
Speaker 1: the window to make sure my mom wasn't coming in
Speaker 1: the driveway. Yeah. Well, I think it has a lot
Speaker 1: to do with when you want to stop. It's like
Speaker 1: before with control. If you are like, all right, I
Speaker 1: should probably can chill out. Yeah, put the brakes on this,
Speaker 1: and you feel like you can't, that's the biggest thing.
Speaker 1: So I would like watch porn jerk off, and then
Speaker 1: before I had even finished cleaning myself up. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what am I gonna now? Probably should watch some porn
Speaker 1: like it was. It was that that sort of thing
Speaker 1: like like my balls are wearing so much pain all
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, it's have you ever had to like
Speaker 1: learn are you ambidextrous? Like can you switch hands? Like
Speaker 1: is your one arm tired? Uh? No, I'm I'm strictly righty.
Speaker 1: So there's been times I've like, your your right arm
Speaker 1: does look a little bigger? Well, no, bullshit. Actually sucked
Speaker 1: up my uh my ring finger on my right hand recently,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I mean like, look, it's not the most
Speaker 1: important one, but I had it like taped up and
Speaker 1: I was like, how the funk am I going to
Speaker 1: jerk off with this? And I was like fuck it.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm just gonna have to like suffer
Speaker 1: through the pain. Okay. So even with what Wheezy said,
Speaker 1: a lot of people may listen to this and be like,
Speaker 1: watch a lot of porn, I jack off a lot?
Speaker 1: What am I an addict? So I want to get
Speaker 1: into at what point it started affecting your life? Because
Speaker 1: jacking off isn't affecting your life, but it can and
Speaker 1: you can't control it, So how did it start affecting
Speaker 1: maybe your job, your family and your relationships that so
Speaker 1: I was once I started sucking, like I started working
Speaker 1: pretty late, well I think pretty late, like probably about
Speaker 1: like eighteen nineteen years old, and like once that started,
Speaker 1: it was just floodgates from there on out. Like I
Speaker 1: was always trying to meet people to have sex with.
Speaker 1: Whether that meant that I was like trying to cultivate
Speaker 1: several different relationships with women that I knew, um or
Speaker 1: I was going on Craigslist or whatever I could find.
Speaker 1: Then when Tinder came out, that ship fucking ruined me
Speaker 1: even more so. Um But basically I was just running
Speaker 1: through people like body since NonStop. On top of that,
Speaker 1: I can to myself a heterosexual male, but if a
Speaker 1: woman wasn't available, I would end up trying to find
Speaker 1: a guy to sleep with even though I am not
Speaker 1: attracted to men. Yeah. Yeah, whether it's whether it's I'm
Speaker 1: I'm not attracted to men, or be a woman that
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm I'm not feeling her at all, but
Speaker 1: I have to do this. Yeah, did you find it
Speaker 1: was easy? I feel like it's easier to find at
Speaker 1: least the way grinder works nowadays for like a dude
Speaker 1: to go down on you. Did you find that that
Speaker 1: was just like it would happen quicker for you mean
Speaker 1: as far as like cooking up with with men um, Well,
Speaker 1: at the time, I was living, um in a different place.
Speaker 1: I wasn't living in the city at the time, and
Speaker 1: that made it a little harder because it was like a, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was harder to meet people period um. Once I
Speaker 1: came here. Then I would go to like adult bookstores
Speaker 1: and stuff like that and try to hook up with
Speaker 1: people too. And that ship was just like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're freaking me out. I walked in to get some
Speaker 1: stuff at this one place and um not like it's
Speaker 1: called Gotham something like a bookstore and they have the
Speaker 1: viewing booths. Yeah. So I was in there for like
Speaker 1: maybe three minutes just getting like whatever. It was four
Speaker 1: people in less than five minutes, I'm serious, asked me,
Speaker 1: didn't ask me. They didn't think I was a hooker.
Speaker 1: They asked me how much I cost. They just invited
Speaker 1: me in the booth with them. Yeah, so it works.
Speaker 1: And I didn't know it was like the meeting place
Speaker 1: and so you went to those Yeah, specifically for sex,
Speaker 1: but do other people go there for that? Did you
Speaker 1: go to brothels places as well? Yeah, so I was
Speaker 1: going to like like sex parties. Um, the sex parties
Speaker 1: are probably great. Yeah, yes, um Bradlows not so much.
Speaker 1: I mean that's what's good about the Internet. You can
Speaker 1: find whatever you you need on there, right But um, so,
Speaker 1: I guess this is what also led into the financial
Speaker 1: issues you had. Absolutely. Yeah, I was talking about that
Speaker 1: I was spending money and I just didn't have Like
Speaker 1: when it gets to the point that you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I have nothing in the fridge right now. I could
Speaker 1: either spend money on groceries, even if it's like the
Speaker 1: smallest amount, or spend it on sex and whatever, whatever,
Speaker 1: any anything I could whatever I knew would lead me
Speaker 1: to sex quicker. Yeah, so I would be the sort
Speaker 1: of guy that, like, I would be on my way
Speaker 1: to a date messaging somebody else from Craigslist for a
Speaker 1: one night stand, and then leaving the date, I would
Speaker 1: be hitting up somebody else like an escort, to like
Speaker 1: meet up later on as I'm on my way to
Speaker 1: the Craigslist date. What's the most amount of people or
Speaker 1: times you've had sex in a day. In a day,
Speaker 1: I can't even tell you really more than probably not ten.
Speaker 1: I guess you don't have enough hours in a day
Speaker 1: for the probably like five. Yeah, probably around there, maybe
Speaker 1: a little bit more, a little less. What about when
Speaker 1: you have a girlfriend, do you just want to suck her?
Speaker 1: Like what when this was going on? When you're dating someone,
Speaker 1: is it just wanting to suck them like crazy? Or
Speaker 1: are you interested in like new pussy? Um it, I
Speaker 1: do want to suck them. But the problem I love.
Speaker 1: I think porn is is a good thing for a
Speaker 1: lot of people, but when you have zero self control,
Speaker 1: porn could be one of the most damaging things, particularly
Speaker 1: because the way people, particularly men, at least a lot
Speaker 1: of the men that I know, consumed porn, which is,
Speaker 1: you don't just watch one porn and then you're like, great,
Speaker 1: I'm done. Non you open up like thirty tabs and
Speaker 1: then you watch like some of this one and some
Speaker 1: of that one, some of that one. And what that
Speaker 1: does is it conditions the brain to always find something new.
Speaker 1: So it's interesting. I want to ask you what you
Speaker 1: think of this. Um You've probably heard me say the
Speaker 1: name Jeeves, Yes, Jeeves, and I watched a lot of
Speaker 1: porn together, and he told me he's been really happy
Speaker 1: about that because an X of his was very upset
Speaker 1: that he watched porn, and I guess because she was
Speaker 1: a feminist, and she said that it was really fucking
Speaker 1: up his way of thinking how sex should be. Now,
Speaker 1: how do you feel about that? Do you think porn
Speaker 1: made you think your sex need to be crazier? For
Speaker 1: me personally, But I can't speak to what he was
Speaker 1: doing because I know, look, everybody, most people have sex,
Speaker 1: and not everybody is a sex addict, and some people
Speaker 1: just like to have kinky or sex or I want
Speaker 1: to try things that they watch in porn, which I mean,
Speaker 1: I know I've done quite a lot. I think looking
Speaker 1: at there's a time where I think porn can As
Speaker 1: much as I don't agree with her to the point
Speaker 1: that you don't want him to watch it, I can
Speaker 1: understand that. Yeah, it's understandable, just like any because that's
Speaker 1: where you learn kink your ship. Yeah, any anything could
Speaker 1: be addictive like that though, I mean, like, look, just
Speaker 1: like the same way something we could drink alcohol right now,
Speaker 1: but none of us is gonna get fucking plastered, right Well,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't know what. Yeah, yeah, I have
Speaker 1: a friend right now who's dealing with alcoholism, and I
Speaker 1: feel bad because I'm a woman who also likes to drink.
Speaker 1: So I feel like I'm enabling his addiction when we're together,
Speaker 1: and it hurts me because I literally know like I'm
Speaker 1: his stopping point because I know he would continue if
Speaker 1: we were together, if we weren't together, and so it
Speaker 1: just sucks. So Weezy brought up, um, how you go
Speaker 1: about dealing with this with a girlfriend. So do you have,
Speaker 1: um a story to share about how your addiction may
Speaker 1: be ruined a past relationship or what happened with that relationship.
Speaker 1: I would say, Uh, It's only been a couple of
Speaker 1: years that I've been like sexually sober, not that long
Speaker 1: at all. Um, wait, you're not sucking right now. I
Speaker 1: didn't say I wasn't sucking. I just said that I'm
Speaker 1: sexually sober, meaning like I feel in control of my
Speaker 1: sexual desires. I'm not running through people NonStop. And uh,
Speaker 1: one other thing about sexual addictions, you usually feel bad
Speaker 1: about the sexual choices that you make after and right
Speaker 1: now I'm at a place where I don't feel bad
Speaker 1: about right That's good. Yeah, it's like in moderation, you
Speaker 1: go to have a drink once you're over the alcoholism.
Speaker 1: Do you feel bad about it or do you feel
Speaker 1: like you're in control? Yeah? Yeah, I liken it to depression,
Speaker 1: like everybody's felt bad, but uh not everyone is depressed.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure you know everyone has made poor life
Speaker 1: choices involving sex. But it did. And it may even
Speaker 1: be semi habitual. But if it's like one of these
Speaker 1: things that's like I feel like I can't stop it,
Speaker 1: then it's this is an addiction. I know I might
Speaker 1: be addicted in sex addiction. Do you think it had
Speaker 1: to do with some of the sex you had alone?
Speaker 1: Like would you would you be satisfied if you jerked
Speaker 1: off a few times a night, or would you feel
Speaker 1: like eventually you had to suck somebody? Uh? Definitely I
Speaker 1: would feel like I had to suck somebody, like like
Speaker 1: if so that can help? Okay? No, no, no, because
Speaker 1: I would. I've heard people say like, oh, if you're
Speaker 1: gonna like meet somebody, you really don't want to suck them,
Speaker 1: just jerk off beforehand. I'm like that. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: actually Rory just said that in the last and I
Speaker 1: was like, I wish you know, I'm either or. So
Speaker 1: there's sometimes where like if I think I'm going to
Speaker 1: suck someone right and I'm like, I kind of don't
Speaker 1: want to. I'll jerk. Often it's okay, but then there's
Speaker 1: some moments where I touched myself and now I want
Speaker 1: it more. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, No, I get that.
Speaker 1: I get that. Um. I'm sure for some people that
Speaker 1: works like a charm on the time, But for me,
Speaker 1: do you last long? High? Last too long? I actually do.
Speaker 1: So It's not only coming from porn possibly and masturbation, No,
Speaker 1: I have so if I'm having sex with somebody, I
Speaker 1: at a certain point when I know that they've gotten
Speaker 1: whatever they need, I'm like, okay, now I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: you over here and I'm gonna with my ego so hard.
Speaker 1: The last time you came from sex years, not definitely,
Speaker 1: not years, I can't remember. Yeah, probably. So have you
Speaker 1: ever used like a sensitizer typing? Does that help? And
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm I'm so afraid of using ship like
Speaker 1: that on my dick, like chemicals, Like the most that
Speaker 1: I'll do is like like a cock ring or something
Speaker 1: like that. But then and that helps that actually helps
Speaker 1: it helps keep you hard or helps you come. It
Speaker 1: helps me to, Yeah, it'll help me come. It help
Speaker 1: me come and keep me hard, because that's another thing.
Speaker 1: That's another thing that some guys can try if they
Speaker 1: are having maybe that issue. There's a bunch of good
Speaker 1: Silicon co. I'm really interested because like, you were able
Speaker 1: to have sex with so many people and you're attractive,
Speaker 1: but like, what would you do? You are was your
Speaker 1: dick on Craigslist? Like how would you get them to say? Yes?
Speaker 1: I mean, was your dick on Craigslist? I wonder, like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm thinking and even day like, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: what I want. So I was what was it that
Speaker 1: maybe it's because you are good looking? Did you make
Speaker 1: an ad saying that you were a sexual addict that
Speaker 1: needed his cravings fix? Like? What were your ad? Sure
Speaker 1: that probably could have worked. See here's the thing. I
Speaker 1: never made the ad. I would reach out to other
Speaker 1: you reach out. I made an AD like maybe like twice,
Speaker 1: and that ship was like god, damn, too many emails
Speaker 1: right now? Yeah, yeah, it's it feels better to be
Speaker 1: able to kind of pick and choose. I wish we
Speaker 1: would have done that before Craigslist was gone, Like, I
Speaker 1: wish we could have found people on Craigslist. I feel
Speaker 1: like that would have been But I mean, I feel
Speaker 1: like we have so many dating apps now maybe you
Speaker 1: could just there's on that episode, yeah, like she matched
Speaker 1: with him and was like, hey, um, I know we matched,
Speaker 1: but I really just want to bring it onto my podcast.
Speaker 1: By the way, I do that with a lot of
Speaker 1: couples I matched with, Like, I don't really me I've
Speaker 1: never met a couple online. Am I selling the truth?
Speaker 1: What are you know? But I'm just like I'm saying, like,
Speaker 1: if I'm swiping on Bumble or Tender and there's a couple,
Speaker 1: I'll swipe him right and say, can I interview you?
Speaker 1: But I wanted to ask you a question. So we
Speaker 1: have a lot of homemail in our email right now
Speaker 1: pertaining to the same topic. So if this pertains to
Speaker 1: you guys, hopefully you know. I just know we read it.
Speaker 1: But a lot of people are complaining about boring sex
Speaker 1: or not getting enough sex because maybe their partner isn't
Speaker 1: a sexually craving as them. At any point in time.
Speaker 1: With your sexual addiction and being in a relationship, have
Speaker 1: you ever felt a woman take advantage of your sexual addiction?
Speaker 1: And how did they do that? Because to me, I'd
Speaker 1: be mad if a nigga only sucks me one time
Speaker 1: and then he's a one time hitter and quitter and
Speaker 1: done it other addict not knowingly? Okay, but I was
Speaker 1: in a relationship with someone that definitely took advantage. And
Speaker 1: how did she take advantage of you? She she just
Speaker 1: knew that I always wanted it and needed it, so
Speaker 1: she would use that as leverage to make me do
Speaker 1: or to make me to uh, to have me allow
Speaker 1: her to do? Ship? Wait? What like? What to give
Speaker 1: us an example? Uh, I'll I should start off by
Speaker 1: saying that neither of us were good in this relationship
Speaker 1: like we like saying buy me things, or like if
Speaker 1: you don't do this, like um, pick me up, take
Speaker 1: me here. It was a lot of just uh, if
Speaker 1: you don't do this, then I'm going to suck somebody
Speaker 1: else instead of you, like that sort of thing. And
Speaker 1: because I was an idiot and because I needed it
Speaker 1: so much, even though I knew that I could suck
Speaker 1: other people, I wanted her to like. That's another thing
Speaker 1: well I could say, particularly with me, is that like
Speaker 1: it wasn't enough to just have sex. I need to
Speaker 1: have sex with as many people as I could possibly
Speaker 1: have at any point in time. What's those people that
Speaker 1: you sucked in one time? Or like, like how many?
Speaker 1: How many people that I have at one time? Not
Speaker 1: one day? And group sex? Uh, I didn't count. Wait,
Speaker 1: it was that many people? Well it was like a
Speaker 1: sex party. So it was and like everybody was kind
Speaker 1: of doing stuff with each other all at the same time.
Speaker 1: You know what, I really want to know what we're
Speaker 1: going there? When you got your first STD because I
Speaker 1: know it. Yes, how did that make you want to stop?
Speaker 1: I mean everything everything? Did it made me want to stop? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I was like, fuck, it's
Speaker 1: like it's not going to I knew I was talking
Speaker 1: to someone that there's a guy. I know, he's an
Speaker 1: entertainer for friends, he's got a girl, he has a
Speaker 1: few girl friends, and you just got a chlamydia and
Speaker 1: I you don't have to write his name now. But
Speaker 1: he said to me like, oh my god, dude, it
Speaker 1: got lamydia. I can't suck my girl for the next
Speaker 1: five days. I'm like, nigga, you goot to keep digging
Speaker 1: Fans and He's like, why it's a pill. Can you wait? Wait?
Speaker 1: But can you funk with chlamydia with a condom though? Like,
Speaker 1: is it still transferable with a condom? Or I believe.
Speaker 1: I believe with the condom you'll you'll be safe. But
Speaker 1: I mean too, I think only harpies because that's the
Speaker 1: only thing that's on the outside. It's not that you
Speaker 1: can climb through a condom. But you have to remember this, right,
Speaker 1: Your condom is not always going to completely cover the back,
Speaker 1: absolutely right, And so if it's like if you have
Speaker 1: pre come and it's coming like you're mixing fluids, that's
Speaker 1: what it comes. I thought. Chlamydia though, was in your fluid,
Speaker 1: not on the skin. So if you technically fluid is
Speaker 1: being transferred, okay, okay, okay. And even if a woman
Speaker 1: has it, let's say that your juices get inside of
Speaker 1: his inside the condom. Yeah, I feel a part of like,
Speaker 1: as as great as medicine is, it in this way
Speaker 1: hurts a lot of people that have this mentality that like, oh,
Speaker 1: if it's so easily curable, then there there's there's barely
Speaker 1: any consequences. I don't funk for like a day or
Speaker 1: two whatever. I just take this pill gives me a
Speaker 1: little bit of a stomach ache, take like a rig
Speaker 1: running ship for a little bit, and then after that,
Speaker 1: I'm good to go. Just once. Actually, actually I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I had it once. It was a comedian. Yeah I
Speaker 1: had it, and then uh me and this girl like
Speaker 1: I got it, and then she got it and then
Speaker 1: again yeah yeah. Um. But anyway, let me get back
Speaker 1: to what you were saying about this girl that, yes,
Speaker 1: how did she take advantage? She would just use that
Speaker 1: all the time to be like if, like, say, she
Speaker 1: was in school at the time, she'd be like, yo,
Speaker 1: if you don't drive down here to see me this weekend,
Speaker 1: then you know, I don't know what I'm gonna do,
Speaker 1: basically implying that she was going to suck somebody, and
Speaker 1: she would. And what made it worse is that she
Speaker 1: had some at ship friends that, you know, they were
Speaker 1: in shitty relationships too, so they would encourage her to
Speaker 1: do shitty things. I'm not saying that my circle of
Speaker 1: friends were any better at the time. They were just
Speaker 1: as shitty. But you know, it's something that I just
Speaker 1: bought into, and that's actually what led to me losing
Speaker 1: my job. That's what I was going to ask next
Speaker 1: because some people may still be listening, and like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I suk a lot of bitches I've called an STD
Speaker 1: I did this? Am I a sex attic? Two? So
Speaker 1: your sexual addiction actually led to you losing your job?
Speaker 1: How does that happen? All right? So I was working
Speaker 1: at a mixed martial arts gym in upstate, New York.
Speaker 1: And uh, at the time, that girl she came in
Speaker 1: my my girlfriend after I was like cleaning up everything,
Speaker 1: and this was like he had just upgraded from the
Speaker 1: owner of the gym, upgraded from like a smaller gym
Speaker 1: to a much nicer facility. I'm sorry, are you gonna
Speaker 1: tell you you just sucked her on like a nice
Speaker 1: part of the gym in the new luxury bathroom or gym.
Speaker 1: You just got caught your job? Why I didn't explain
Speaker 1: that it was a new gym, Just tell me that.
Speaker 1: Why did you need to explain that it was an
Speaker 1: upgraded gym, because it was just something that was like
Speaker 1: he had so much pride in and wait, wait did
Speaker 1: he see you on camerah No no no, no, no, okay,
Speaker 1: so he went no, no, no, no, no, no, I
Speaker 1: got caught because, uh, we were wearing a condom and
Speaker 1: I threw the condom out in the garbage. It was
Speaker 1: the smart because I just felt bad. So they found
Speaker 1: the condom and then he, y, you admitted it to it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, because that's part of them. So another one
Speaker 1: of the guys that that worked there, he was cleaning
Speaker 1: out the garbage like before, like we had like a
Speaker 1: staff and he was cleaning out the guarden beforehand, and
Speaker 1: he found the condom and he brought it to the
Speaker 1: head coaches attention and he, you know, said like, yo,
Speaker 1: who I need to know who did this? And I
Speaker 1: was I just felt so racked with guilt already from
Speaker 1: just doing something that I knew I shouldn't have done,
Speaker 1: and compound that with like the guilt from just being
Speaker 1: a sex addict and then also desecrating this guy's brand
Speaker 1: new gym. So I was just like, yeah, that was me.
Speaker 1: And he's like, all right, your keys, get the funk out.
Speaker 1: So you say you're sexually sober, now, are you clocked out?
Speaker 1: I was off the clock. Yeah, I still say you
Speaker 1: should have kept your dot. But you say you're sexually sober. Now,
Speaker 1: what is the process of recovery and how do you
Speaker 1: go about having a relationship now. So there's a lot
Speaker 1: of things that can that can be Um. I know
Speaker 1: there's there's a s A A meeting sex Addicts Anonymous.
Speaker 1: I tried going to that for me. It didn't really work. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know, so there is just like you know, alcohol anonymous,
Speaker 1: alcohol alcoholics Anonymous, and a narcotics okay, and so there
Speaker 1: is a sexual addiction place to go. Yeah. I went
Speaker 1: to an A meeting recently to go with a friend
Speaker 1: for the first time, and there was a few set
Speaker 1: statics in there. Yeah, and that's that's actually yeah, that's
Speaker 1: actually something else that A lot of people that are
Speaker 1: sex addicts also have substance abuse to which like compounds
Speaker 1: the problem. There was a girl that was saying she
Speaker 1: was addicted to cocaine. I was trying not to do cocaine,
Speaker 1: but when she does cocaine, then she gets her sex
Speaker 1: addiction that pops out and she's like, then the two
Speaker 1: of them go around for days because she's so tired
Speaker 1: when she's sucking, so she'll do more cocaine to say
Speaker 1: to keep sucking. And it's a cycle or alcohol the
Speaker 1: same thing. It's they don't have the balls to yeah, damn,
Speaker 1: shout out to m YPD. Right, I guess they don't
Speaker 1: do drug tests. Well, I guess coke also comes out
Speaker 1: of your system in two days, So she find me safe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we just really the only drugs now legal that stays
Speaker 1: in like thirty Let me tell you how she'd be
Speaker 1: known in real life. So, I when I got this
Speaker 1: new job, I was like, damn, I can't think of
Speaker 1: the last time I smoked me. There was a few
Speaker 1: days ago, blah blah, blah blah blah. So I google
Speaker 1: drugs and when they come out of your system, weed,
Speaker 1: which is the most basic of all that comes out
Speaker 1: thirty day days. Meth and heroin and cocaine was like
Speaker 1: five five days max. Yeah. Where literally? Um, okay, So
Speaker 1: you've gone to therapy, and so did you find therapy
Speaker 1: to actually help you with recovery? One on one therapy?
Speaker 1: Individual therapy was like probably one of the best things
Speaker 1: that I couldn't done in therapy. Make your horny listen
Speaker 1: to the stories. Well, they're they're very smart. Where they
Speaker 1: say please don't make anything explicit at all, they make that,
Speaker 1: Well I would hear some good because that material, I guess. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know for people that are trying to keep
Speaker 1: their ship together. I didn't talk about this because I
Speaker 1: didn't want anyone to guess who it was. But I
Speaker 1: did go to an a a meeting with a friend
Speaker 1: who needed it. And while they're they're the sex sattics,
Speaker 1: I told their stories. I was kind of getting like, yeah,
Speaker 1: turned on, so I could see how actually let me
Speaker 1: just to bring it back to that abusive relationship. Um one,
Speaker 1: I feel just ashamed just even saying this, and y'all,
Speaker 1: I know you're gonna respond pretty strongly. So I had
Speaker 1: never told this girl about being sexually abused until like
Speaker 1: pretty late in the relationship. And when we did, we
Speaker 1: were at her college dorm. It was just us there
Speaker 1: and when I did it, she got turned on. And
Speaker 1: that should have been like the biggest red flag to me,
Speaker 1: just to be like, I told her the story and
Speaker 1: she got wet as hell, you know, like she was
Speaker 1: just like, I'm really turned when I when I told her,
Speaker 1: When when I I might have been like first grades,
Speaker 1: you know what. Okay, that's gonna leave me to actually
Speaker 1: share a story because you saying that it makes me
Speaker 1: feel bad. It makes me feel bad because I talked
Speaker 1: to a guy who experienced the same thing, and I
Speaker 1: used to want him to tell me about what happened.
Speaker 1: So I know, I feel really bad because I know.
Speaker 1: So basically, I was talking to a guy and he
Speaker 1: had been in the NBA and went to overseas, but
Speaker 1: he was into He actually opened up to me that
Speaker 1: he would find trans and men on Craigslist. So I
Speaker 1: was trying to understand where this came from. So he
Speaker 1: had let me know that when he was young he
Speaker 1: was in trans women and men, so he would, um,
Speaker 1: he let me know that he would be on like
Speaker 1: the back in the day was the message boards. So
Speaker 1: he said that he was on a message board and
Speaker 1: thought he had met a girl around his age. So
Speaker 1: he ended up going to this person and it wasn't
Speaker 1: a little girl his age. It was actually a grown
Speaker 1: man and the grown man would play with his dick.
Speaker 1: And at this point he didn't know if it was
Speaker 1: right around like it was online dating it was. He
Speaker 1: didn't know. Um when that happened, he said he was thirteen.
Speaker 1: He was thirteen, So he was being fondled with this
Speaker 1: guy and it later would move into not only would
Speaker 1: he be playing with him, then he would ask him
Speaker 1: to play with him. He had never had been fucked
Speaker 1: annally at this point. However, Um, this guy would play
Speaker 1: with his genitals. Fast forward, when he got to college,
Speaker 1: there was a bathroom and I'll go ahead and say
Speaker 1: at the University of Memphis where uh you know, but
Speaker 1: so there's a bathroom where guys could go in and
Speaker 1: get their dick sucked by other guys on campus. So
Speaker 1: it happened right Well, there was a professor in there
Speaker 1: and saw him, and so the professor actually from seeing
Speaker 1: him kind of threatened his grade and actually then forced
Speaker 1: him to perform oral sex on him at the school.
Speaker 1: And then fast forward to even that, then he found
Speaker 1: out woods where you can go and get your dick sucked.
Speaker 1: And now it's kind of like an addiction for him
Speaker 1: to where he deals with men in secrecy. But it
Speaker 1: all stems from him being you know, molested all these times.
Speaker 1: And I, yeah, I used to want him to tell
Speaker 1: me how it happened, what he did to you and
Speaker 1: kind of relive it. But I also feel like it
Speaker 1: was therapeutic for him because it was things that he
Speaker 1: had never told anyone else. Um, and that ship the
Speaker 1: cruising spots like gay cruising spots like that ship is
Speaker 1: like just the subculture around that, it's like ridiculous, just
Speaker 1: like likes gay cruising. So there's the thing. I think
Speaker 1: I've talked about it on the on the show before
Speaker 1: where one of my gaze was coming in town. Any googles,
Speaker 1: you call them your my gays, they're mine. They have
Speaker 1: other women, they're friends, but like they're mine. How very
Speaker 1: trump of you ship? You know what means? My husband?
Speaker 1: I hate you, bro. I'm gonna let this one. There
Speaker 1: are a lot of places that I want to go
Speaker 1: right now, but I won't because I'll be nice as
Speaker 1: you are a guest that brought us rose. But yes,
Speaker 1: I'll shut up. Um So, yeah, my gays, my girls,
Speaker 1: my guys. So my guys coming down and they're like, bitch,
Speaker 1: we're going on this site. We've been hearing about it,
Speaker 1: and it's where you can find gyms in New York
Speaker 1: to get your dick suck. Yeah, that's so. Like I
Speaker 1: googled gay steam rooms, just like googled it, and like
Speaker 1: there's a whole fucking sight that comes up that will
Speaker 1: just tell you all the spots to go. One of them, specifically,
Speaker 1: is the Financial District. Equinox said, yes, in general, just
Speaker 1: like so we went, we paid the day path. You're
Speaker 1: going to go to the gym. No, mall, don't go
Speaker 1: to gym and Chelsea. That happen. They're sucking cock. They're
Speaker 1: sucking dick and Chelsea. Okay, see, none of my niggas
Speaker 1: could go to the gym. Now you better go play
Speaker 1: basketball on the court where everybody. But here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Benny used to tell me a story. And Benny was, um,
Speaker 1: one of my best friends you've out on the show.
Speaker 1: I was telling him about It's like, is this true
Speaker 1: with the steam rooms? He's like, girl, yeah, Like why
Speaker 1: else do you think I were? Yeah, but it's not
Speaker 1: even just that circle jerks, like people don't want to
Speaker 1: be watched everything. Yeah, yeah, for real, there's but it's
Speaker 1: not even just Jim's though, Like there's like public parks.
Speaker 1: I don't want to like like say the names of everything,
Speaker 1: because like I feel like, you know, just one part,
Speaker 1: one part, like how would it go, Like a bench
Speaker 1: at a park, like a location, and they're like an
Speaker 1: under a certain tree you can get your dick. No, no,
Speaker 1: it's not that I'm talking about the whole park. Like
Speaker 1: you can go to specific parks at specific time, which
Speaker 1: dudes like walking you. I don't want to go see
Speaker 1: somebody getting dicksa what's that parking? In? Like? Way, there
Speaker 1: you go. I'm not Washington Square and Central you know,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go all the way to die.
Speaker 1: I'm sure. I'm sure there's probably cruising going on in
Speaker 1: Central Parks. I'm sure Washington Square is a little smaller,
Speaker 1: probably that it probably isn't happening. I'm sure I don't
Speaker 1: get fingered in Washington Square Park. I tried to know
Speaker 1: the guy before, and did you just like, yeah, oh
Speaker 1: my god, remember that time those twin basketball players, remember
Speaker 1: white guys. Of course they were friends. But no, it's
Speaker 1: crazy because I tried to circumcise. Of course they're all
Speaker 1: I didn't want to fulfill the stereotype from the bar.
Speaker 1: Weren't you the one that was saying that you don't
Speaker 1: that's me. I don't like turtleneck. Okay, she likes the skin.
Speaker 1: She she knows like the sensitivity that discriminatory from what
Speaker 1: you guys might think. I've read so many things about me, like,
Speaker 1: oh funk, you maybe like that it feels like a
Speaker 1: shake weight something. Yeah he was, Yes, I said like
Speaker 1: uncircumcised dick feels like a shake weight, like you know
Speaker 1: when you're shaking the skin just be moving. It's really
Speaker 1: really different, Like it's all different types of it could
Speaker 1: either be a lot, could neither be a little. It
Speaker 1: could be a total sharp pay not. It's like a
Speaker 1: popsicle with a surprise you. Well, look, I am circumcised,
Speaker 1: but I do feel like the stigma that we have
Speaker 1: culturally about uncircumcised dicks is kind of sucked up because
Speaker 1: it is everywhere. Yeah it is. Well, it's crazy. It's
Speaker 1: crazy because you said that, because I actually wanted to
Speaker 1: get um into our homemiale for the episode that um, well,
Speaker 1: I'm reading too, but I didn't want to read that
Speaker 1: because my friend actually is offering her free therapy for that.
Speaker 1: So I'm awesome because the girl that wrote that question
Speaker 1: in and I have been d m. Yeah, so I'm
Speaker 1: gonna ask one before we get to that. But for
Speaker 1: the homemale for this episode, the subject line says by
Speaker 1: sexual or gay, and I thought that this was a
Speaker 1: good question that maybe you can hone in on specifically
Speaker 1: because you identify as straight. So it says, hey, Mandy
Speaker 1: and wheezy, I just recently started listening to the podcast
Speaker 1: via SoundCloud. I'm totally loving the show. I have this
Speaker 1: curiosity since two thousand thirteen New Year's Eve when this
Speaker 1: guy who happened and that's th New Year's Eve, when
Speaker 1: this guy I've been kind of five years and I
Speaker 1: need to know, um he said, when this guy who
Speaker 1: happened to be bisexual started kissing me and one thing
Speaker 1: led to another due to the fact that I was drunk.
Speaker 1: All I remember is him on top of me trying
Speaker 1: to get my dick inside of his booty hole, but
Speaker 1: it was not getting any hard. So in the morning
Speaker 1: it was whatever. I guess that means in the morning
Speaker 1: it was hard for morning Wood. I don't know. He
Speaker 1: doesn't he doesn't classify. So ever, since then, I've been
Speaker 1: looking up gay porn and it gets me hard as fuck.
Speaker 1: I've tried giving head and getting a cock in my ask.
Speaker 1: It was not nice and uncomfortable, but I enjoy getting
Speaker 1: head from guys. I've never sucked a guy before, but
Speaker 1: I would like to try. I fucked chicks and I
Speaker 1: love that. So my curiosity is, does watching gay porn?
Speaker 1: Does watching gay porn and getting head from guys make
Speaker 1: me gay or buy it's crazy because I know, I
Speaker 1: know all these niggas listening for real gay, but but
Speaker 1: what would you say? How how should he classify? Because
Speaker 1: clearly I feel like he's having a psychological malfunction with
Speaker 1: how he should identify. Now, well, I'm gonna say, first
Speaker 1: of all, I know that all those like ultra hetero listeners,
Speaker 1: they're gonna discount whatever I say, because I already said
Speaker 1: that I've had sexual and college with a man. Of
Speaker 1: course it's gay as say that as long as you
Speaker 1: know they were. They were mad at me for that
Speaker 1: trans comment where I was like, liking trans women doesn't
Speaker 1: because that's real though I've been with trans women, and like,
Speaker 1: there there's something very specific that y'all said that I
Speaker 1: really really appreciate it, which is, uh, there's a reason
Speaker 1: why gay men aren't attracted, like I said when I
Speaker 1: claimed them my gays have never been with a trans women,
Speaker 1: is because they don't want to. They don't want to
Speaker 1: be a woman, absolutely absolutely, and and uh another thing
Speaker 1: you said that was wrong actually was that most trans
Speaker 1: women are end up being tops escorts, because well, yes
Speaker 1: I did so on average I was reading this, so
Speaker 1: it's not like wrong or right, but from reading articles
Speaker 1: um like confessions of trans women like female escorts generally,
Speaker 1: they said that they're topping because the men are playing
Speaker 1: out of fantasy because they want to be top. That
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that they would choose to be tops, not choosing,
Speaker 1: but I'm saying the escorts are doing way more topping
Speaker 1: and even in relationships with men that they're starting to date,
Speaker 1: which is why they think they're being bet sized. They're
Speaker 1: doing the topping whether they want to be fucked or not.
Speaker 1: There generally doing topping always either it's couples, heterosexual couples
Speaker 1: that they're sleeping with that want them to top one
Speaker 1: or the other. But it's crazy that you guys say
Speaker 1: that because, um, so I actually went to fairy Tales,
Speaker 1: so we I mentioned this with the with the swinger
Speaker 1: um episode and so it's a trans sexual strip club
Speaker 1: in New York City. So I went there last night,
Speaker 1: and um, it was crazy because of course I've talked
Speaker 1: to them because I was like, I have a podcast,
Speaker 1: I need to know what's going on. So they actually
Speaker 1: said majority of them don't even sleep with women, and
Speaker 1: not many of them are bisexual. They prefer only men.
Speaker 1: Um and all of these straight men because they identify
Speaker 1: as straight. All the straight men that I know who
Speaker 1: have been with trans women, trans trans women, yes, trans women, UM,
Speaker 1: they have topped them. So they have not bottomed a
Speaker 1: trans woman. They've they've been they they've topped them. So
Speaker 1: when I've been with trans women, I've been strictly a top,
Speaker 1: strictly a top. Okay, So I guess for this listener,
Speaker 1: I would like to say, UM, and it's something that
Speaker 1: we've said often on this show. I don't think you
Speaker 1: have to put yourself into any of these boxes. I
Speaker 1: feel like you're trying to find what box you fit in.
Speaker 1: And if you want to identify a straight, you can.
Speaker 1: If you want to say you're by you can. Um.
Speaker 1: If you want to say you're gay, I wouldn't put
Speaker 1: you in that box because you're still fucking and enjoying women,
Speaker 1: so you're not just a one track mine. But there
Speaker 1: are UM straight men or people men who identify a
Speaker 1: straight that do like their dick suck by men UM,
Speaker 1: and I know quite a lot of them. Actually, UM,
Speaker 1: they won't kiss the man, they won't be intimate with
Speaker 1: the man, they would never date a man, and they
Speaker 1: would never fuck or get fucked. But I know a
Speaker 1: lot of men who enjoy receiving head from other men.
Speaker 1: But the kissing is like the kissing part is Lario
Speaker 1: like saying, I know because because they so my attention.
Speaker 1: It's so weird they bring it. I mean, I mean,
Speaker 1: if you're intimate. But just like I just it's stupid.
Speaker 1: You're getting your dick sacked by a dude, so what
Speaker 1: do you even kiss him? Now we're gonna be more mad.
Speaker 1: You're sharing bluntwin niggas, Like, I don't even understand. This
Speaker 1: is so stupid and I'm so tired of all y'all
Speaker 1: need to fucking figure out what you are. It's not necessary.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think there's something important about Like it's
Speaker 1: I hear people say like, oh, labels are limiting and
Speaker 1: stuff like that. Well, labels also just help you identify shit.
Speaker 1: If you went to the to the supermarket you want
Speaker 1: to get a fucking box of fucking what are you
Speaker 1: saying just like vegetables to me, Broa, I'm saying whatever,
Speaker 1: Like look the example, imagine you go into the mark
Speaker 1: you want some fucking cinnamon toast crunch, but every box
Speaker 1: of cereal is just a plain white box that says cereal.
Speaker 1: That's when you realize how important labels are. Labels aren't
Speaker 1: because you want the super cereals, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's just well, it's important to know that labels can
Speaker 1: be flexible. Labels also are there to help you identify.
Speaker 1: So what culture dictates as gay. I wouldn't say that
Speaker 1: this man is gay. He is somebody that may like
Speaker 1: some things that are are on the on that side
Speaker 1: of the spectrum. But I would say that's more by
Speaker 1: it than anything. But before we get out of here,
Speaker 1: I wanted to read this last home mail. Um. It says, hi, ladies,
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask a request from you both. I
Speaker 1: watched your show and listen to your podcast. Literally I've
Speaker 1: watched all episodes. I'm from a very strict Muslim slash
Speaker 1: African family. But the more I've listened to you both,
Speaker 1: the more I've started to look at sex and more importantly,
Speaker 1: myself a lot differently. Just a little background about myself.
Speaker 1: I'm a teacher, studied in California and now live in London.
Speaker 1: I've been a virgin up to the age of twenty six,
Speaker 1: and I've had f g M, which is female genital mutilation,
Speaker 1: which is interesting because we just talked about um circumcision
Speaker 1: being mutilization. This is the partial or complete removal of
Speaker 1: the clip. Therefore, I have no clip, nothing, not a
Speaker 1: and those have exclamation points after them. I don't know
Speaker 1: how to be comfortable with men in bed. And I've
Speaker 1: never orgasm in my life, never, which is crazy because
Speaker 1: we had someone right in saying they couldn't stop orgasm.
Speaker 1: So pick which you know, end of the sword you
Speaker 1: like to fall on. It hurts me to write this,
Speaker 1: but it's true. I don't know how it feels like.
Speaker 1: And when I watch you guys talk about sex, I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm living through you guys. So wanted to
Speaker 1: say thank you so much. Your show means a lot
Speaker 1: to a lot of people around the world, and I
Speaker 1: hope you both know this. I wanted to write and
Speaker 1: say thank you so much for writing in it's letters
Speaker 1: like this um that that literally help me and Wheezy
Speaker 1: know that we're in the right path with the trajectory
Speaker 1: of this show and the purpose of this show. I
Speaker 1: also wanted to know that if anyone in New York
Speaker 1: City happens to have female genitalal mutilization and would like
Speaker 1: to come on and speak on it UM mutilization mutilation,
Speaker 1: lation mutilations there AZ, But if any of you guys
Speaker 1: have f GM and would like to come onto the show,
Speaker 1: please reach out to our email at Horrible Decisions at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. She hit me up via d M
Speaker 1: and she says that she knows a few women, whether
Speaker 1: they're visiting New York or like, knows some in New
Speaker 1: York and I would love to bring them on. So
Speaker 1: following this, UM, the doctor that we both go to
Speaker 1: the guy No, actually called her office and UM got
Speaker 1: her personal email and asked and explained everything was like, Hey,
Speaker 1: I want to bring someone on. Can you help us
Speaker 1: talk her through this talk about how to have vaginal orgasms?
Speaker 1: Possibly if she's comfortable. Then I had up a sex therapist,
Speaker 1: like only because you know people right in with random
Speaker 1: questions all the time, but I thought this was so
Speaker 1: important and you never know who's listening, And like, can
Speaker 1: you imagine losing your clip? Like I'm watching handmade sale
Speaker 1: and they're doing that as punishment. That's that's all I
Speaker 1: play with when I watch porn is my clip. My
Speaker 1: I have t Rex arms so I can't reach to
Speaker 1: finger myself inside my pussy because my hands it just
Speaker 1: don't work that way. So I actually only play with
Speaker 1: my clips. So when I read this, I was just
Speaker 1: I felt bad, like kind of sad, like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: how But but I have um penetration orgasms like I
Speaker 1: come off being penetrated UM. So I have had orgasms
Speaker 1: without simulation of my clips, so I know it's possible
Speaker 1: for her. I do want to sit here and give
Speaker 1: a shout out to my friend Natalie Um. Natalie is
Speaker 1: a sexologist and hypno therapist that transform you from sexually
Speaker 1: conservatives to sexually empowered. Most of her clients have been
Speaker 1: through illness, abuse, shame and guilt, painful sex, sexual dysfunction,
Speaker 1: and are looking to be freed. She uses a combination
Speaker 1: of sex coaching and hypnotherapy to achieve this. She recently
Speaker 1: created the first deck of sexuality affirmation cards on the market.
Speaker 1: If you, if any of you guys are going to
Speaker 1: the Slot Walk in l A, She's actually gonna have
Speaker 1: a booth there. They help women reconnect with their body,
Speaker 1: restore their femininity, and reclaim the sexuality for the sexually
Speaker 1: empowered and confident woman. She has a line of merchandise
Speaker 1: with her tagline Orgasm Queen. They can be found at www.
Speaker 1: Love Chat with Nat dot com under shop UM. This
Speaker 1: is a good friend of mine from when I loved
Speaker 1: in Miami and I love what she's doing. UM. And
Speaker 1: so if any of you guys feel like you are
Speaker 1: having shame from sexual trauma or that you're not comfortable
Speaker 1: with talking about sex or feeling sexually liberated as a woman, UM,
Speaker 1: check out love Chat with Nat. She does do her
Speaker 1: hypnosis over the phone UM or remotely if you guys
Speaker 1: are looking UM to do that. So again, shout out
Speaker 1: to UM love Chat with Nat. And I want to
Speaker 1: thank again our guests for coming rich. Thank you so
Speaker 1: so so very much, thank you. UM. So by the way,
Speaker 1: y'all are right in and like, oh we listened to
Speaker 1: the show. Have me on? Me and my wife are crazy?
Speaker 1: Like are you crazy? Like that? Right? Want? I want
Speaker 1: to plug a resource for people that might think they
Speaker 1: are sex ated. Go ahead, and there is a website thing.
Speaker 1: It's called Recovery Zone dot com. If you just google
Speaker 1: sex addiction quiz uh, that's the first link that comes up,
Speaker 1: and it has a questionnaire. I think it's about like
Speaker 1: fifty sixty questions along. They have a free version and
Speaker 1: a paid version, and you can see how deep into
Speaker 1: the spectrum of sexuality you may fall, as far as
Speaker 1: like not very sexually conservative, or this is concerned just
Speaker 1: because you know what, I kind of wash you. They
Speaker 1: take that quick. It's it's on a scale we should take.
Speaker 1: It's on a scale of one to twenty, and I
Speaker 1: think at six is when you start getting into that threshold.
Speaker 1: Eighteen nigga. But I mean I drink in a bathroom. Yes,
Speaker 1: I have to go to sleep from masturbating, Like I
Speaker 1: don't have the same sleep. I have to come and
Speaker 1: feel tired to go to sleep. So I literally masturbate everything,
Speaker 1: even on my period. I'll just put it. I just
Speaker 1: put a towel. I'm gonna I'm gonna call it right now.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say you, guys, between eight and a ten,
Speaker 1: only eight and ago to twenty. You don't know the
Speaker 1: questions though, so okay, you'd be surprised. Would you rather
Speaker 1: eat a dick or a pizza? Not like what that's
Speaker 1: the type of question. If you want to dick and
Speaker 1: a pizza pizza, I'll eat that. I'd eat the pizzer.
Speaker 1: I'm getting I'm not gonna ride. Y'all know I don't ride, um,
Speaker 1: But anyway, I got one more things, but this is
Speaker 1: this is personal ship. I also have my own podcast
Speaker 1: to everybody got a podcast podcast? No, say podcast, It's no,
Speaker 1: It's completely unrelated to sexes. I do mixed martial arts.
Speaker 1: I've been training and boxing, m A all that other
Speaker 1: stuff for a very long time. And I have a
Speaker 1: show called Super Upper Punch that is about thank you.
Speaker 1: It's about martial arts and combat sports. What's different about
Speaker 1: this from a lot of other shows that talk about
Speaker 1: like fights and stuff is I talk about UM. I
Speaker 1: talk with people that are involved with like the more
Speaker 1: people facing side of It's like, uh, had somebody on
Speaker 1: that runs a grappling tournament that raises money for cancer research,
Speaker 1: or somebody else has a donation based jiu jitsu jim
Speaker 1: things like that. So check it out. It's called Super
Speaker 1: Upper Punch R on iTunes, Google plays. Super also very
Speaker 1: artickle it and I think that our listeners you also
Speaker 1: very articulate. I mean sucking all my words, but I'm
Speaker 1: awful on Rose and I just worked already, and I
Speaker 1: the way, I just don't have to leave theses and
Speaker 1: you know, I'm she's not a drinker. I am impressive,
Speaker 1: But it's also because she's about to record another episode
Speaker 1: and there's a strong black man standing in the corner. Okay,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just saying. By the way, you guys,
Speaker 1: we are at Gotham Podcast Studio, one hundred Church Street.
Speaker 1: If you ever need a place in New York to
Speaker 1: record your show, if you want to invite us on
Speaker 1: his guest uh, come through here. It's a great place
Speaker 1: to record. They also have video and I'm doing their
Speaker 1: seminar on when is it Matt September fifteen. Um. Tickets
Speaker 1: will be out by the time you guys see this episode,
Speaker 1: watch this episode, listen to his episode. You can check
Speaker 1: out my page Wheezy WTF and get some tickets someone.
Speaker 1: They also do one offs guys. So, um, I was
Speaker 1: just on a podcast who recorded here called two and
Speaker 1: a Possible. Um. She called me out because she knew
Speaker 1: that I only went on the podcast because she was fine.
Speaker 1: So I was trying to hollow just to find out
Speaker 1: she lived in Orlando and literally she comes up to
Speaker 1: New York once a month. That's the girl who she
Speaker 1: so yes by Yeah, bit, well that's who I ran
Speaker 1: to after we recorded with Rory, I literally called her.
Speaker 1: I was like, on the reason I came on his
Speaker 1: podcast because he was fine, just for her to tell
Speaker 1: me she lives in Orlando. Here she lives in oran
Speaker 1: And and every time she comes to New York, which
Speaker 1: is once a month, she records all of her episodes
Speaker 1: here at Gotham pot She's gonna have to have a
Speaker 1: place to stay. You look, and here goes to sex.
Speaker 1: I thought, you're saying you you should be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't want all that money, Vanilla. So if you
Speaker 1: guys want to listen to when I Vanilla, how was
Speaker 1: sad and had a boyfriend? I said, but you should
Speaker 1: have told me this in the d M. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have came. Um. But if you guys want to listen
Speaker 1: to a very vanilla um kind of response to kind
Speaker 1: of sex. Um. I was on a podcast called too
Speaker 1: in Impossible so that should be dropping soon. It was
Speaker 1: super cute. I possible feels like too and impossible to impossible,
Speaker 1: but we'd be having us to un impossible. We all
Speaker 1: know who the impossible, the possible of the guest, but
Speaker 1: why are they called it possible because to impossible? Wa wait, wait,
Speaker 1: wait wait, do you not play spades? Have you never
Speaker 1: played spades? Don't take my black card? Your black card
Speaker 1: is removed six two an apossible. So the black guy
Speaker 1: in the room is shaking and you're not to play spades. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're playing to know how to play spades. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: all I mean that said. Um, black people never teach
Speaker 1: you how to space like play space is repeat. Oh
Speaker 1: you don't know how well we're gonna teach you how.
Speaker 1: I don't know what is over. Wheezy will get in
Speaker 1: a game of spades. She won't be my partner, but
Speaker 1: I'll make sure. I'll make sure how to play. Anyways, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you rich so much from I hate you. Of
Speaker 1: course you will you you know well, they're new you
Speaker 1: paid for me, man, They're not new, they're five years
Speaker 1: little bit of toddlers. They're broken in. Thanks for coming
Speaker 1: onto the episode, which we appreciate you. If you guys
Speaker 1: have any questions again, want to reach out to us,
Speaker 1: You guys can always follow us on UM on our
Speaker 1: Instagram at Horrible Underscore Decisions. You can follow me at
Speaker 1: full court pumps everywhere and where can they follow you?
Speaker 1: We don't follow her, all right, that's fine to um.
Speaker 1: Go ahead and also follow our Twitter at Horrible Pod,
Speaker 1: which is ran by Weezy, So for all y'all alchemy
Speaker 1: about why Weezy and got a Twitter. She follows the
Speaker 1: Horrible Pod page. While you're walking out, I want to
Speaker 1: thank everybody. I was giving away some back to school stuff.
Speaker 1: I always try to start a chain of donations, whether
Speaker 1: be back to school ship or Christmas. Thank you so much. Um,
Speaker 1: I only spent a few hundred dollars, but so much
Speaker 1: money donated from different men and women. I'm like trying
Speaker 1: to think of all the names, but it was so
Speaker 1: many of you. All try to shout you guys out
Speaker 1: in a description or something, but sending kids backpacks, clothes, everything.
Speaker 1: I had a girl write me that listens to our show,
Speaker 1: Mandy this noble shit. She lives in her car. It's
Speaker 1: been the last three months. This is just it is
Speaker 1: what it is. Her kids stay with her family and
Speaker 1: she goes to pick them up and in her car
Speaker 1: and she says when she's driving around, she listened to
Speaker 1: our show. Fucking yeah, that's deep. Like the letters that
Speaker 1: we get from our listeners are amazing. But thank you guys,
Speaker 1: that really helped me with that. If you guys ever
Speaker 1: want to start an Instagram chain, all I did was
Speaker 1: just offered to give things to my followers and other
Speaker 1: followers want to help, and we ended helping sixty five kids,
Speaker 1: which isn't a lot, but it's a crazy amount of
Speaker 1: I'm really grateful for you guys. Thank you for being
Speaker 1: listeners and wanting to help me in my interest too.
Speaker 1: And we love you. And we don't always do whole ship,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Some kids, So we read books,
Speaker 1: we give donations, we support fucking charities, and sheet we
Speaker 1: are here trying to let y'all know hos do well.
Speaker 1: We use our last live show and donated to Survive
Speaker 1: to Thrive Global, which helps domestic um victims. Domestic song.
Speaker 1: I'm drunk and I gotta go back to work, so
Speaker 1: this is not good. So guys, I'm actually running out
Speaker 1: of here. I'm it's busy season, so it is now
Speaker 1: eight o'clock at night and I'm running back to the office.
Speaker 1: But