1 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:02,760 Speaker 1: Edie Martinez in Real Life Podcast. 2 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,760 Speaker 2: This episode and conversation is powered by I. 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 3: Do say, what's the intro Adversity for Sale. 4 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:19,599 Speaker 2: I'm so happy you're here. 5 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:23,439 Speaker 1: Yes, I'm so happy you're telling it, telling your business 6 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: a little bit, the business. Nah, you got a story 7 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: to tell, when you got a story to learn from? 8 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 2: The most importantly, I. 9 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 3: Mean, you know, this book was it was every therapeutic, 10 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. It was like a lot 11 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:38,960 Speaker 3: of face and some reality, a lot of facing some 12 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 3: dark places I hadn't been in a while because I 13 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,520 Speaker 3: had put all that stuff behind me, at least I thought. 14 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 3: But I start to see a lot of things come 15 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,160 Speaker 3: out of my adult life that I'm just like, where 16 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 3: this is coming from? And now that I have the tools, 17 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, this is trauma, Oh this is anxiety. 18 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,960 Speaker 1: And this is why right when you read this you 19 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 1: feel like there's certain people that it's almost like it's ordained. 20 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 2: It's like you were supposed to survive. 21 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: You were supposed to survive all this stuff because the odds, 22 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,679 Speaker 1: when you look at the stories from the beginning, the 23 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:10,479 Speaker 1: odds were not. 24 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:11,319 Speaker 2: The odds are. 25 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, And what was a realization of that was everything 26 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 3: that I got into, even the stuff I talked to 27 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 3: about in the book. It wasn't like it was me 28 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 3: getting out of it, you know what I'm saying. It 29 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 3: was just like always like God put somebody in my 30 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 3: life or put me in a place that I was 31 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 3: supposed to be to talk to someone or just to 32 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 3: put me on the path to get some type of insight, 33 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 3: and it just always worked out no matter how hard 34 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 3: it was. Not to say that I didn't go through anything, Yeah, 35 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 3: but he always when it was it was so dark, 36 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 3: he always brought some type of light. Why do you 37 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 3: think I think this is my purpose? Like everything that 38 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 3: I went through is for me to be who I am, 39 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 3: somebody who put successes you. You know you're doing it 40 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 3: for you. Significance is doing it for others, you know 41 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. I feel like that's that's why I'm here, 42 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 3: Because you don't scaped the things that I escaped just 43 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 3: for you, you know what I'm saying. It's for other people. 44 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:08,239 Speaker 2: It's for Did you always know that or you only 45 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 2: know that it's grown jeezy? 46 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 3: I know that's grown Jesus. Yeah, I thought I was 47 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 3: lucky as hell. It's jeezy. 48 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 4: Jesus, how did I get out of that? 49 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:16,519 Speaker 2: Yeah? 50 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,559 Speaker 3: You know, And it was a lot of those situations. 51 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 3: And it was like the last time I got locked 52 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 3: up in LA when that shooting happened on a whiskey 53 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 3: leaf of tour. That's what really threw me because I 54 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 3: didn't do anything wrong, you know what I'm saying. But 55 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 3: I went through everything that somebody was guilty, did you 56 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,120 Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. Like, I went through the jail, 57 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:42,080 Speaker 3: the court cases, the beefing with the city, the civil suits, 58 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 3: and you know, it's the whole thing, and I'm just like, what. 59 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 1: In there, You're actually like this, I actually don't deserve. 60 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 3: I told my lawyer. I was like, I didn't do 61 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 3: nothing this time, I promise you. He was just like, 62 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 3: I don't know, you know. And but it only made 63 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 3: me stronger because the first day we got locked up, 64 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 3: you know, the team was down there to get me 65 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 3: out within the hour. M right, ten people a million 66 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,480 Speaker 3: dollars in bail a piece. That's ten million dollars right 67 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 3: at the time, I didn't known any property in California, 68 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 3: so that's pretty much a cash barb right. And I 69 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 3: told my guy, said, Yo, listen, I'm gonna sit in here, 70 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,079 Speaker 3: you know, cause I don't wanna tell nobody how to 71 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 3: get my money. I'm gonna sit in here and let 72 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 3: me figure out how to get this to you guys 73 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 3: so we can get everybody out. Mm. And that was 74 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:32,119 Speaker 3: like one of my first like unselfish moments. You see 75 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,919 Speaker 3: what I'm saying, And that's what I learned. 76 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 2: How long ago is that? How many? 77 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 3: Has? About five? Six years? 78 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 2: Yeah? 79 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: So you already grown, grown you already like I do. 80 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: I'm you know, your in transition at that time, probably right. 81 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 3: I was on my way. I think after that I 82 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 3: had no choice cause I just had my my oldest daughter. 83 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 3: She was a baby. I'm calling home from jails, like 84 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 3: the most embarrassing thing in the world. Like it really was, 85 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 3: like you like her hero? Yeah, she told me that, 86 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 3: you know when she was one, like you know, one 87 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,320 Speaker 3: Tuesday like daddy and my hero. You know, she still 88 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 3: thinks that way. But what I'm saying is is, like 89 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 3: when is it gonna stop? Even though you didn't do 90 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 3: anything wrong, Like, when is it gonna stop? Like and 91 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 3: I took everybody. 92 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 2: On you feel like that was karma from maybe stuff 93 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 2: that you didn't get. 94 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, one time, said, I tell anybody, Karma's real. And 95 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 3: I went through my I went through my share of 96 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:29,720 Speaker 3: karma like it was. Some times it was. 97 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 1: I want to take you up to that point. But 98 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: let's go back to the beginning, because we got to 99 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: get started. There's so much, Oh god, Jesse, it's so much, 100 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:36,799 Speaker 1: and there's such good stuff in the book. 101 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 2: Let's go to let's. 102 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 3: Start, Young Jeezy, Young Baby, young Jeezy. Okay, just make 103 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 3: sure the statute illimitations. 104 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: It's fine, no, But I just you tell a lot 105 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 1: of stories about you know, backstory about your family and 106 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,599 Speaker 1: how that kind of shaped you and your problems with 107 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 1: your dad and all them feelings. 108 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 3: But I didn't really. 109 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: I had heard it. I don't know what in process 110 00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 1: that you spent this time in Japan, your pans at 111 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 1: what age? 112 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 3: And I lived in Hawaii, I want to say about 113 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,560 Speaker 3: five six. That's not a small thing, no, but but 114 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 3: this is the thing. So my mother and dad married. 115 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:15,479 Speaker 3: My dad was in the service. He took us off overseas. 116 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 3: I would come back every now and then to my 117 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 3: grandmother's house, which was the hood, right, But it's okay 118 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:25,240 Speaker 3: when you come back. When they got divorced, I actually 119 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 3: had to go back and live. So now this is 120 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 3: like before, it's like oh oh, it's like, okay, this 121 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,720 Speaker 3: is real, and you know. 122 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,799 Speaker 2: Without the protection of your father. 123 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, because he went he had to go back. He 124 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 3: took us there, and he had to go back and 125 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 3: you know, be a marine. And I knew that was 126 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 3: hard for him. But I took a lot of I 127 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:50,119 Speaker 3: had a lot of resentment there and then the fact 128 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,960 Speaker 3: that my mom I looked like my dad, Like so 129 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 3: my mom took a lot of that out on me, 130 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 3: which then made me go to the streets because now 131 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 3: I'm looking for love, you know what I'm saying, and belonging. 132 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,720 Speaker 1: I hear that a lot about boys who were raised 133 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 1: by single mothers who look like their fathers. 134 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 2: I think it's a more common thing than. 135 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,600 Speaker 3: We Oh yeah, and I was where the mother just 136 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 3: sees the father. Yeah, And it was just like my 137 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,359 Speaker 3: sister was you know, you know, I love my sister, 138 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 3: but she. 139 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 4: Was like the angel. You know what I'm saying, you 140 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 4: do no wrong. You know, she could do no wrong 141 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 4: with me. 142 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 3: Everything's wrong. And the streets. 143 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 1: Did you know that as a kid though, did you know, like, oh, 144 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: she's she's looking at me like yeah, I'm fuck. 145 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 3: I could tell. I could tell by her words her accident. 146 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,280 Speaker 3: And you know, before my mother passed, you know, I 147 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 3: just did a lot of time just forgiving her because 148 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 3: she was a baby trying to raise a baby, right, 149 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 3: and she was trying to figure life out too. And 150 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 3: if you really think about our parents are really just 151 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 3: grown kids, you know what I'm saying, They're not. They're 152 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 3: not perfect just because they're your parents. 153 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: So and they had less access to like the verbiage, 154 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 1: the mental health, health care, the just the self awareness. 155 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: They It was also addictions. I know your mom was 156 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,600 Speaker 1: dealing with alcohol and drug and. 157 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, so all that was going on, and you know 158 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,719 Speaker 3: she was trying the best to raise but we kept 159 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 3: bumping heads and you know we came to head one day, 160 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 3: you know, she pulled a gun on me because we 161 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 3: got in this big argument. I went to live with 162 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 3: my grandmother after that. 163 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,680 Speaker 2: But what does that do to you? How old are you? 164 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 3: Maybe twelve thirteen? 165 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: Okay, so twelve year old kid, I'm thinking about like 166 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 1: my godson, who are twelve? 167 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 2: Your mother? 168 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 3: Right? Well? I mean I didn't but I didn't look 169 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 3: at it any different though, because I mean I didn't 170 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 3: look at it like it was like the end of 171 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 3: the world. I felt like I just had to fight 172 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 3: with my mom like I'm gone because I wanted to 173 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 3: leave anyway, you know what I'm saying. So now I'm 174 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 3: with my grandmother. 175 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 2: It didn't the gun part of it. 176 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 3: Does it, Because by that time I was I was it. 177 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 2: Guns were common part of life. 178 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 3: It's common. And also it's just like our toxic behavior 179 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 3: was common, you know what I'm saying. Like it was 180 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 3: just toxic. You know what I'm saying. It was like 181 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 3: you thought I was married. It's like just like all 182 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,560 Speaker 3: the time and we just couldn't get it together. 183 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 1: I think I remember the old docuted with def jam 184 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 1: you talking about that, and she said that you had 185 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 1: told her if you if you pull that gun out, 186 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 1: you gotta use it, you better use it. And when 187 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 1: I think about that for a twelve year old and 188 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: you as a father, now, just when you think about 189 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 1: what that would do to a twelve year old boy. 190 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 3: But I'm gonna tell you that, and you know, and 191 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 3: I'm just being honest with you. I had to happen 192 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 3: in my life. I won't get into the details, but 193 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 3: you know, with my first born, we got to that point. 194 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 3: So I can see because when your child doesn't want to, 195 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 3: you know, vibe by anything you're saying, then it's like, 196 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:37,960 Speaker 3: what do you do? I mean, of course we're in 197 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:38,439 Speaker 3: a better. 198 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,480 Speaker 2: Place now, thank god. 199 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it was like it was a point like 200 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,960 Speaker 3: he was a grown man. I'm just like, man, like, 201 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 3: you know, you got you gotta respect something. He's like, nah, 202 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 3: I'm got you know, she's going through the same thing 203 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 3: that I went through with my dad. Like I'm alreadre 204 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 3: trying to take care of everybody. But then you know, 205 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,200 Speaker 3: and TDJ said it best. You know when you when 206 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,840 Speaker 3: you out here, you you're gonna lose on that side 207 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 3: with your kids. Cause as a black man, you gotta 208 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 3: get out here and do you gotta go above and 209 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 3: beyond to take care of your people, right, So that 210 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,960 Speaker 3: cuts into your time when you actually being there as 211 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 3: a father for your kids, cause you're the provider. You 212 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 3: gotta go out here and figure it out. And for 213 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 3: me with him, it was kind of a little tricky 214 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:27,199 Speaker 3: because you know, I'm providing, but my lifestyle was like 215 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 3: it's not what you want your kid to see, right, 216 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. So I'm trying to tell him. 217 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,960 Speaker 3: He like, man, you you know, you know, I'm on 218 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 3: the news and being like he was. He told me, 219 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,640 Speaker 3: like when I got locked up that time, when that 220 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 3: thing happened in La even though I didn't do that, 221 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 3: He's like, I'm disappointed, you know what I'm saying, Like 222 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 3: that that that that cut deep, you know. 223 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 1: And then also you were this was before probably your transition, 224 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 1: working on yourself and all that. 225 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,439 Speaker 2: You you know, you're jeezy. 226 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: You gotta fuck you're you gotta you gotta marvel people 227 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 1: who who look up to you and your son, and 228 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 1: you can't just from an ego perspective, not being able 229 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:09,080 Speaker 1: to have your son in check, I guess, and that too. 230 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 3: But like you know, he he was in the projects 231 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 3: with me. My son was born in the projects. You 232 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. He came into projects, and so 233 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 3: he's seen that life like he wasn't. He wasn't a 234 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 3: trust fund kid at least then he wasn't. So he 235 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,080 Speaker 3: he knows he had his traumas into things that I 236 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 3: wanted wasn't even aware of because when he was leaving 237 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 3: with his mom, I don't know what he was going 238 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,319 Speaker 3: through and what was going on there. And and it's 239 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 3: just like, you know, I had to kind of like 240 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 3: sit back and really take a look at myself and 241 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 3: put myself in his shoes and be like, how does 242 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 3: he feel? What's going on with him? Like what's he 243 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 3: dealing with? 244 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 1: But the same way you talk about your kids, your 245 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,360 Speaker 1: parents being kids, big kids trying to figure out. 246 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 2: And you was a kid. 247 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was a kid. You know for a long 248 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 3: time that I shouldn't have been, if I'm being honest, 249 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 3: because I didn't know any better and there wasn't anything 250 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 3: around me to could tell me different. Again, and when 251 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 3: you have a level of success, you think you know 252 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:02,720 Speaker 3: everything in the world. 253 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 1: I love that you share that because you know how 254 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 1: many people even when I think about your music and 255 00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 1: how I know how your music affects me. 256 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:09,959 Speaker 4: Right. 257 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,360 Speaker 1: I was thinking about that today on the way here 258 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:12,599 Speaker 1: because I put I was put, I put a g 259 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,839 Speaker 1: Z play listen, and I'll be on the golf course 260 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,839 Speaker 1: on purpose. It feels good to be you know what 261 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 1: I'm saying. It feels good to be in an environment 262 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:22,440 Speaker 1: where you're not. 263 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 2: Really supposed to be doing it. 264 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: Your music makes you feel rebellious and it makes you 265 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,440 Speaker 1: feel like, you know, it's what we love about your ship, 266 00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:35,199 Speaker 1: Like I can only imagine somebody who's actually living a 267 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 1: life that you was talking about, especially in the early records, 268 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 1: how it feels to that end, right, So you have 269 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,559 Speaker 1: this thing where people resonate to your words so much 270 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 1: that when the adult you shares a story about how 271 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: you have progressed as a parent or what you learned 272 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 1: about being a son of some dysfunction, do you feel 273 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,839 Speaker 1: it impacting people the way like maybe some of your 274 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 1: some of your songs. It's a long way to ask 275 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 1: the question, but it's just I'm talking about like how 276 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 1: you how people respond to you, and how the impact 277 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 1: in real life. 278 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:12,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, like outside of rap, outside of music. And that's 279 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,839 Speaker 3: what's been interesting about the book. It's just like the 280 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 3: people that's been coming to the signings, of the regular 281 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 3: people who just want to do better in life. 282 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 2: And especially now that we've grown. 283 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 3: Right, right, And I think for me, like being able 284 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 3: to have these conversations and be transparent, I'm hoping that 285 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 3: it brings us closer together, you feel, I'm saying because 286 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,560 Speaker 3: a lot of people just knew my work, they didn't 287 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,080 Speaker 3: know me. You know, I had this wall up, and 288 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,080 Speaker 3: that was to keep people out, but it also kept 289 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:46,360 Speaker 3: me in so as I'm being open and transparent because 290 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,400 Speaker 3: I learned that about relationships, Like I had a lot 291 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 3: of great friends, like I knew Lebron on them before 292 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,320 Speaker 3: everybody did you know what I'm saying. But it's like, 293 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 3: how you Lebron gonna be cool with the street guy 294 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,959 Speaker 3: who says three words when we're hanging out, you know 295 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,439 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. So it's like and as time went on, 296 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,199 Speaker 3: I'm just like, like, you know, I'm supposed to be 297 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,439 Speaker 3: building relationships with people, but they don't know me because 298 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 3: I'm so I was so guarded because that served me 299 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 3: in the streets. And when I figured out in real 300 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 3: life that that doesn't serve me anymore, then that's when 301 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:17,080 Speaker 3: the shift happened. And before then I was living for survival, right, 302 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 3: But when you start living for love, But I mean 303 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 3: like love, like in general, it's just a different feeling. 304 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 3: Like you want real good people close to you. They 305 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 3: gonna let you know when you're going too far, They're 306 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,839 Speaker 3: gonna they're gonna they're gonna be there for you when 307 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 3: you celebrate your highest moments. They're gonna be there for 308 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 3: you when you at the lowest moments right, and and 309 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,200 Speaker 3: what you have can add value to their life, and 310 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 3: what they have can add value to yours. Because there's 311 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 3: been a lot of times where I've just been in 312 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,920 Speaker 3: situations and somebody like, Yo, I'm doing this, you should 313 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,559 Speaker 3: be a part of it, And I'm just like, why 314 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,680 Speaker 3: would you do that for me? You know what I'm saying, 315 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 3: Because I come from a world where people nobody does 316 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:55,079 Speaker 3: nothing anybody, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, So it's 317 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,839 Speaker 3: like I'm coming from that, but then now I'm starting 318 00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 3: to see that there's actually good people in the world. 319 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:03,600 Speaker 3: You have people you know in the building, depth Jam, 320 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, that always have your back. 321 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,079 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, not everybody you know. Shout 322 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 3: out to Shauna, shout out to Natina. They love me here. 323 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,680 Speaker 3: Petos and those guys changed my life, you know, because 324 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 3: it was it was either you was going to be 325 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 3: a superstar, he was going to prison. 326 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 4: Yeah. 327 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 1: I always saw that because I was around them days too, 328 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 1: So I used to see how they moved moved around 329 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: you when you were in when when you were present 330 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,600 Speaker 1: or not even to this day, even in Tina, the 331 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: way they talk about you and hold you up even 332 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 1: when you're not in the room. It says a lot 333 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 1: about how I feel about you. 334 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's even some of the experiences, like even 335 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,360 Speaker 3: going to I remember I want to go to Harlem 336 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 3: to do something and Petcos had me on Washington Heights 337 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 3: and all, and I'm just like it was loving me. 338 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 3: I'm just like, oh, wow, you know, I got the 339 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 3: Spanish brothers would like anything. I'm like, no, we don't 340 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 3: need to lay nobody down. I just want you, you know, 341 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,440 Speaker 3: getting looked. But but but love. You know what I'm saying, 342 00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 3: aren't you used to that? 343 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 1: Because you I don't remember what part of the book 344 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,920 Speaker 1: it was, but you talk about how people like used 345 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 1: to ride for you, like you had like fourteen fifteen 346 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 1: neighborhoods that people would you know, I'm talking about earlier 347 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 1: in the beginning, when people started really that would do 348 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 1: pretty much do anything for you. 349 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 3: Doing anything for somebody who doesn't know what they need 350 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:21,000 Speaker 3: to be doing. That's not real. I love them still 351 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 3: to this day, but I was leading them wrong. The 352 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,880 Speaker 3: only thing they could offer me at the time was, 353 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 3: you know, something that was gonna protection well, just something 354 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 3: that was gonna put us all in the buying, and 355 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 3: that's the thing, Like you know, you could say protection, 356 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 3: but no, because if it ever went down, I was 357 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,760 Speaker 3: on the front line with them. You know what I'm saying. 358 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,520 Speaker 3: They don't never say that, but the love that they 359 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 3: were offering me, that they was giving me was genuine love. 360 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,120 Speaker 3: I know they love me because I love them. But 361 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:52,080 Speaker 3: it's almost like being somebody who's going to the draft 362 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 3: and your first round draft pick. You might love everybody 363 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 3: that you went to school with, everybody from your neighborhood, 364 00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 3: but you're not gonna be able to take them on 365 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,080 Speaker 3: football field with you, on the team bus and all 366 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 3: these different things. So it's just like, you know, and 367 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,200 Speaker 3: I don't. I can't. I don't want to speak out 368 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 3: a turn. But it's just like I feel for Jamaran. 369 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 3: I feel for him right because he's in his mind 370 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 3: it makes sense right, but in the world it doesn't 371 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 3: make sense. And I can understand. I've been there, you know, 372 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 3: thousands of times, so I have empathy for him, you 373 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 3: know what I'm saying, because he's only doing what he 374 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 3: thinks is right right, but there's a different set of rules, 375 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 3: and even for myself, I only tell him what I 376 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,880 Speaker 3: thought was right, because there was a different set of rules. 377 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 3: Thank god, you know what I'm saying. I didn't have 378 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,920 Speaker 3: to pay the ultimate price, right. But you always had 379 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 3: a vision for yourself. 380 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,200 Speaker 1: I feel like you even say that you had you 381 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 1: I Verdy say you you saw yourself, Yes, as an 382 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 1: adult man with the. 383 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 3: Family rolls goal say wrote plain Jane, Okay, plain Jane, 384 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,360 Speaker 3: watched Jane. 385 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:07,800 Speaker 1: But good skin, Where did that vision come from as 386 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 1: a child. There's nothing in your life should tell you 387 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 1: that that was going. 388 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 3: To be like, it looks like that's what success looked 389 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:15,400 Speaker 3: like to me, you know what I'm saying. And it's 390 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,200 Speaker 3: crazy because I told my uncle the other day, him 391 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,959 Speaker 3: and his wife. I told her it was over at 392 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 3: the house. I was like, you know, I want to 393 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,040 Speaker 3: give you all y'all flowers because they probably been married 394 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 3: like forty years. I was like, y'all, the first family 395 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,720 Speaker 3: that I ever saw that was a dysfunction. You guys 396 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 3: were real family. You raise your kids right and everything, 397 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 3: and I strive for that, you know what I'm saying, 398 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 3: Meaning like that the peace of mind they had because 399 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,199 Speaker 3: there was only people in the family that really had 400 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:45,359 Speaker 3: their stuff together. They had a cool house. You just 401 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 3: need something. He was a good guy. Wouldn't know, you know, 402 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,040 Speaker 3: this is your uncle, Yeah, my uncle. As I gave 403 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,560 Speaker 3: him as problems, I was just like man, you know, 404 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 3: and and to me, you know, it was a lot 405 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,639 Speaker 3: of different things, like I talked about uncle Will my 406 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,119 Speaker 3: uncle Russell, but Russell in the uh in the my 407 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:02,000 Speaker 3: grandmother's neighborhood that got to own the shop that I 408 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:02,920 Speaker 3: stole the radio from. 409 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, that was terrible. 410 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,679 Speaker 3: Why do you do that to that man? I mean 411 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 3: I wanted the radio. I didn't have a car, but 412 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 3: I wanted the car radio. This is the first thing 413 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:13,040 Speaker 3: he ever stole. Yeah, it was a radio, and the 414 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,320 Speaker 3: first thing I got away with wasn't the last. 415 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,680 Speaker 2: You know, where's the radio? Now? Who knows? 416 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 3: It's all bad? But he was the first entrepreneur I 417 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:22,400 Speaker 3: ever met. 418 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,479 Speaker 2: So he inspired you. 419 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 3: And yeah because he owned liked them. Yeah, but what 420 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:30,160 Speaker 3: I learned from that is you don't you don't take 421 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,720 Speaker 3: from people, Because. 422 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,480 Speaker 2: I I wonder what you said if you would have 423 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,680 Speaker 2: asked me to give it to you. 424 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,680 Speaker 1: But I wondered when I read that, and I heard, 425 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 1: you know, you talk a lot about your earlier you stealing. 426 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:41,199 Speaker 2: And all of that. 427 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,040 Speaker 3: As young jeezy, young, young, young, young, jeezy, Little Jay, 428 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:45,320 Speaker 3: little j as Little J. 429 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 2: Was the I don't know. 430 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,240 Speaker 1: It took me to like I remember being a kid 431 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,639 Speaker 1: and my mother, my mother was a single mother, little 432 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 1: tiny apartment uptown. I found twenty dollars in her co 433 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 1: pocket and I was so excited because I thought, I'm gonna. 434 00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 3: Go to school. 435 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 1: I'm worth the weeks worth of snacks and you know 436 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,879 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, elementary school. So I took the twenty dollars. 437 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:07,680 Speaker 1: And then I was in an apartment and I heard 438 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: my mother on the phone with her sister crying because 439 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,679 Speaker 1: it was her last twenty dollars and she couldn't find it, 440 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,879 Speaker 1: and she wrecking the whole apartment upside down. It was 441 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,399 Speaker 1: her last twenty dollars. It was for groceries. It was 442 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 1: all shit. 443 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,159 Speaker 2: And I remember being a little kid sitting there like 444 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:23,520 Speaker 2: I ain't. 445 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,639 Speaker 3: Sh right right. 446 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,760 Speaker 1: I didn't have the courage to tell my mother or 447 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,199 Speaker 1: to give it back because I didn't want to own it. 448 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:28,840 Speaker 2: I was too young. 449 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 1: But it's the guilt, even though I didn't really know 450 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,400 Speaker 1: it was guilt then because I was a little kid, 451 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,360 Speaker 1: but the guilt was enough for me to be mindful enough, 452 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: like that wasn't cool. 453 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, because I had this instance where. 454 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:41,880 Speaker 2: I was wondering if that happened to you, and. 455 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 3: Then yeah, it happened, well a few times. What happened. 456 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,159 Speaker 3: One time when I was younger, I was like my 457 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,560 Speaker 3: older cousin. They were hustlers like so they was like 458 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,919 Speaker 3: the guys and the family had all the money. And 459 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 3: I used to go to the aunt my auntie's house, 460 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 3: which is their mother, and I used to like, you know, 461 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,480 Speaker 3: like sneak a little money out the bag because they 462 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,920 Speaker 3: would have bags money all around the house and I 463 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,639 Speaker 3: never forget. One day they had put a bag in 464 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 3: the baby crib and this time I was gonna take 465 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 3: the whole bag, right, So I get the bag and uh, 466 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 3: I go hide it downstairs under the sofa. So I'm 467 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 3: waiting for my other auntie to take us back home, 468 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:16,880 Speaker 3: and my cousin came in. He was like, yo, where 469 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:18,720 Speaker 3: that bag? That was it? And they started all looking 470 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,160 Speaker 3: for the bag and you sitting there sitting on the bag. 471 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,760 Speaker 3: But I didn't know the bag had a beeper in it, 472 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 3: and he said, we just page. It had my page 473 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,679 Speaker 3: and he pays the bag and sitting under me you 474 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. I'm just like, damn, how old 475 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 3: are you? I mean like fourteen? Oh? Like just you 476 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,119 Speaker 3: know it's all bad now what happened. I mean, of 477 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 3: course they went in, but you know, I tried to 478 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,119 Speaker 3: play it off like I didn't know what it was. 479 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,120 Speaker 3: But I started to learn then. 480 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:52,359 Speaker 2: Like you embarrassed, yeah, very very And. 481 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,440 Speaker 3: I started to learn then like it's I don't think 482 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,280 Speaker 3: it's a good idea to steal. You know what I'm saying. 483 00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:02,639 Speaker 3: Maybe this is, but don't don't steal. And that just 484 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,679 Speaker 3: taught me a lot of lessons. And it's like my 485 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 3: grandma used to tell me, like she she don't she 486 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 3: she cool with anything in this world. Would have two things, 487 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:14,119 Speaker 3: a liar and a thief. And I understand why you 488 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,359 Speaker 3: know you were so close to her. Yeah, you talk 489 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,960 Speaker 3: about that. I love my grandma. My grandmother raised me 490 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 3: like she gave me faith, made me go to church. 491 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,240 Speaker 3: I think right now, if I was if my grandmother 492 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,800 Speaker 3: wasn't in my life, I don't I don't know where 493 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,879 Speaker 3: I would be as a man because I wouldn't have 494 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 3: I wouldn't have any faith, right, I wouldn't have any morals. 495 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 2: You credit that would like say, oh yeah. 496 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 3: For sure, my my my mother and father never talked 497 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:41,680 Speaker 3: to me about God, what I believe or what does 498 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 3: she tell you? She made me go to church every Sundays. 499 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,720 Speaker 2: Gonna go to church, and it doesn't hit that for well. 500 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 3: Every you know, the old school everything you credit to God, like, oh, 501 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,760 Speaker 3: thank you Lord. My grandma ran numbers, so I don't know, 502 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,680 Speaker 3: you know, if that is like the lottery in the hood. 503 00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:58,159 Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? 504 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 3: Numbers? Grandfather Like, thank you Lord. I'm like, okay, I 505 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,119 Speaker 3: don't know if he got anything to do with that, 506 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:09,359 Speaker 3: but I but she just instilled that in me. And 507 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 3: it's just like when I got to my Dogg's moments, 508 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,119 Speaker 3: that's all I could do is pray, you know what 509 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 3: I'm saying, cause it was nobody else there with you 510 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,840 Speaker 3: that was gonna walk through this with you. And I 511 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,639 Speaker 3: felt like, you know, it's just like you got you 512 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,960 Speaker 3: got to talk to God. And that came from my grandmother. 513 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 3: And I'm just so glad. Like when I say glad, 514 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,680 Speaker 3: I mean I think mad Louke Pickett for everything, because 515 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 3: she made me who I was. And it's the craziest thing, 516 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,200 Speaker 3: like she never got a chance to see nothing I did, 517 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,360 Speaker 3: cause she's always telling me, boy, you're gonna get killed, 518 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 3: You're gonna go to jail. But everything I did that 519 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,520 Speaker 3: was supposed to be wrong was the same foundation that 520 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 3: I stood on to become the man I am to dance. 521 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:50,280 Speaker 3: She never saw any. 522 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:52,640 Speaker 2: Of it, m you know, and she had so much 523 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,119 Speaker 2: to do with it. 524 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, she never saw any So when she passed, all 525 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:57,879 Speaker 3: she knows that her grandson's in the streets trying to 526 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,520 Speaker 3: figure out his life. And I remember, you know, I 527 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,000 Speaker 3: knew that then too. Like that's how I know that 528 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,400 Speaker 3: something was wrong, because when she passed, like I didn't 529 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,159 Speaker 3: shed a tear, you know what I'm saying. I was sad, 530 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,880 Speaker 3: but I was just like not a single tear, nah, 531 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,359 Speaker 3: because I'm like, I gotta go out here and be 532 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,639 Speaker 3: a man now. Like I ain't got no support system, 533 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 3: I ain't got no I ain't got nobody, you know 534 00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. Like, you can't call you know, I 535 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,600 Speaker 3: was to call my grandma, I'd get in gangs and shit, 536 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:27,119 Speaker 3: I'd be like grad you know what I'm saying. I 537 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 3: had a few shootouts on the front polls tossed to 538 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:31,639 Speaker 3: the strap, ran out the back door, like shut it. Oh, 539 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 3: one thousand, one thousand. 540 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,640 Speaker 2: That's why you loved it so much. 541 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 3: But she let me. She gave me a free rein 542 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,199 Speaker 3: like she let me like live, like like I used 543 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,560 Speaker 3: to come in, you know, I'm fifteen, sixteen years old, 544 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,159 Speaker 3: coming in three four o'clock in the morning. Like her. 545 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,399 Speaker 3: Her door was, her front door was always open, like 546 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 3: no matter what. That's why I say when I say 547 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,679 Speaker 3: hit the kitchen lights, caught roaches everywhere. That's what it was. 548 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,280 Speaker 3: I come in. She might leave some food on the 549 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,680 Speaker 3: stove when the microwave be coming there. You knocked the 550 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,240 Speaker 3: roches off of everything. You put the thing and heat 551 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 3: it up. Might still be rogers in the microwave. You 552 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,200 Speaker 3: sit down and eat. My uncle comes stumbling in the house, 553 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:07,960 Speaker 3: you know, three four o'clock in the morning. He lit. 554 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,679 Speaker 2: I love when you talk about your grandmoma. 555 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 3: I love your death. Yeah, yeah, I got, I got 556 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:13,680 Speaker 3: on my arm. 557 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,240 Speaker 2: You have dealt with a lot of grief. 558 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 1: Well, I don't know if you've dealt with it, but 559 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 1: you've experienced a lot of loss. Yes, people, not just 560 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,240 Speaker 1: people you know, but like the closest to you. 561 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,160 Speaker 2: Your grandmother, close friends, mother. 562 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,879 Speaker 1: Mother, how do you deal with that? How do you 563 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,919 Speaker 1: process grief? And I'm sure now differently maybe than you 564 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 1: did back then. 565 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,040 Speaker 3: I'm gonna keep it a book. I haven't figured that 566 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:40,160 Speaker 3: part out yet. I'm gonna be honest, like I'm trying 567 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,400 Speaker 3: to learn about it every day. I'm not there. 568 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,480 Speaker 2: Yet, really, yeah, none of it. 569 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,480 Speaker 3: I just don't. I don't understand how to process it 570 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 3: like and and that's being all the way honest. So 571 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:53,400 Speaker 3: does it still trigger you? 572 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:53,800 Speaker 2: Like? Do you? 573 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,119 Speaker 3: When I read the audio version of the book for 574 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 3: the book for the audible, it called me a few times, 575 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,360 Speaker 3: you know, Shaki my mother, Which why I don't really 576 00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:06,959 Speaker 3: get into my mother part of the book a lot 577 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,359 Speaker 3: because I just feel like that's something I need to 578 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,880 Speaker 3: keep close to me and tiw I figure it out. 579 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 3: But just even just a lot of the homies, like 580 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:17,440 Speaker 3: you know, like and just a lot of friends, you 581 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,560 Speaker 3: know what I'm saying, Like I'm still trying to figure 582 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 3: that part out. 583 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,359 Speaker 1: Do you not feel it? Are you turned off it's 584 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,159 Speaker 1: like the force at all for something? Or do you 585 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 1: feel it and just don't do anything? 586 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:32,080 Speaker 3: Just like just young after you lose so much, you 587 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,720 Speaker 3: just you just you're numb. You don't it don't even 588 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,719 Speaker 3: process the same, right, you know what it is and 589 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:42,959 Speaker 3: you understand it, but you don't allow yourself to to 590 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 3: feel it, right, because yeah, rightly so, because you know, 591 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,480 Speaker 3: I've been good at like I'm one of them people 592 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 3: like I'm good at like sweeping things to the side 593 00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,399 Speaker 3: and put them in the back of your mind. Are 594 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:03,359 Speaker 3: you saying, yeah, we think we are this way. I've 595 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,879 Speaker 3: done it great up until now. And as I was 596 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,880 Speaker 3: writing the book, a lot of those things came back, 597 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,680 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, and it's just like, Okay, 598 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:12,800 Speaker 3: what are you gonna do about this? And why you 599 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:18,160 Speaker 3: and and it just been one of those learning experiences 600 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,199 Speaker 3: where you just sit back and you just like damn, 601 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,199 Speaker 3: you know, like this is a real thing, Like and 602 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 3: what served me in this life doesn't serve me in 603 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,520 Speaker 3: my life now, you know what I'm saying, meaning like 604 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:36,199 Speaker 3: it was good then because it kept me safe, right, 605 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:40,920 Speaker 3: it kept me solid, you know, you can it matters, 606 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,439 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. These are people, these are 607 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,240 Speaker 3: people you love, these are people you care about, and 608 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,199 Speaker 3: it's like you can't put them off because I had 609 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 3: to realize that even with my past, It's like I 610 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,919 Speaker 3: can't fault these people in my life that loved me, 611 00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:56,359 Speaker 3: you know, for what somebody else did to me in 612 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,119 Speaker 3: my past right and handled them the same way, because 613 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,840 Speaker 3: this is what I know, right, you know how you 614 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 3: like you kind of like it's almost like being in 615 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:08,000 Speaker 3: a bad relationship, but you just treat everybody, you know. 616 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,399 Speaker 3: It's like it's like, you know a lot of things 617 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,680 Speaker 3: happened where I was just being like I was. I 618 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:16,119 Speaker 3: was just like unbelievable. You know, It's like, how can 619 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,080 Speaker 3: you do that to me? You know what I'm saying, Silences, 620 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,919 Speaker 3: I was you and it's just like I had a 621 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 3: lot of that. And on this side, you know, I'm 622 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,280 Speaker 3: getting better at chipping out a way to just you know, 623 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 3: take that in. 624 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,680 Speaker 2: How are you doing that therapy? 625 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:33,960 Speaker 3: Talking, reading, reading, you know, talking to people I love, 626 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,639 Speaker 3: you know, talking to people I respect. You know what 627 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,120 Speaker 3: I'm saying, Just educating yourself on it because it's real 628 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,840 Speaker 3: and I feel like, you know, even with musically, I 629 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,600 Speaker 3: feel like I haven't even touched the iceberg with that yet, 630 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, because just imagine a damn 631 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:51,879 Speaker 3: that's just that's holding all the water and you finally 632 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:52,439 Speaker 3: break it. 633 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,159 Speaker 2: Are you gonna let it break at some point in 634 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:54,560 Speaker 2: your life? 635 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:55,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, I would hope. 636 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,960 Speaker 1: So you want to the same way you talk about 637 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 1: you can't leave the earth without I can't leave the 638 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 1: earth with any of that. 639 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 3: But that's what I'm working on, chipping away, you know 640 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,760 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. I'm chipping at it every day. Every day, 641 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,480 Speaker 3: I'm chipping at it. Every day, I'm knocking the piece 642 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,679 Speaker 3: off the wall. Because to me, it's just like you 643 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,520 Speaker 3: start to see the light on the other side, it 644 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,680 Speaker 3: just gets brighter and brighter, and you just like, oh shit, 645 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:17,960 Speaker 3: you know, let me just keep at this and keep 646 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,199 Speaker 3: chipping away, like I do my best to kind of 647 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 3: because I'm so glad that I have the tools now 648 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,520 Speaker 3: cause I didn't have the tools before, right, and I 649 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:32,040 Speaker 3: could check myself very self aware if I feel myself, 650 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,399 Speaker 3: you know, getting too far on this side, I know 651 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,399 Speaker 3: how to be like Okay, let's just say. I mean, 652 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,120 Speaker 3: I'm i'm'a keep it a buck, like I ain't got 653 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,760 Speaker 3: no shame. Like I I'll show you right now. I 654 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 3: walk around right now on my phone. If you get 655 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 3: my phone right now, it's a picture of me when 656 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,960 Speaker 3: I was five. Run the phone cause I talk to 657 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,800 Speaker 3: that guy all the time, like you're good. I mean, 658 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,880 Speaker 3: you know he'd be good. Sometimes sometimes you be tripping, 659 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,880 Speaker 3: you know. Oh yeah, you gotta do your work on 660 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,520 Speaker 3: your and a child because I you know, when you 661 00:28:56,600 --> 00:29:02,000 Speaker 3: was yonding through so much, you know, craziness. You know 662 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,680 Speaker 3: what I'm saying that you can't allow that guy to 663 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:06,560 Speaker 3: seep into your adult life. You know what I mean, 664 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:08,800 Speaker 3: You got a parent him, you know what I'm saying, 665 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,800 Speaker 3: because he'll have you out here doing some shit. You 666 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:12,520 Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. 667 00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:16,040 Speaker 1: People like, you know, Mary talks about that a lot. 668 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:20,240 Speaker 1: Mary always talking about what she tells little Mary Man. 669 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:23,040 Speaker 3: People think that's a joke, but it's it's real. Yeah. Yeah, 670 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,239 Speaker 3: you got to parent them because you know they you 671 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:29,480 Speaker 3: react when you get in situations. You react to those 672 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:33,920 Speaker 3: situations how you how you react the same way you 673 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:35,360 Speaker 3: did when you first felt that trauma. 674 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:35,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 675 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,200 Speaker 3: So if he was five, you're gonna react like he 676 00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,640 Speaker 3: was five. You're thirteen, youact like you're thirteen. If you're 677 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,680 Speaker 3: twenty two, you're gonna react like you're twenty two. It 678 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,760 Speaker 3: doesn't matter. It's beyond your control. You know, you have 679 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,040 Speaker 3: the parent you're in a child so that you're able 680 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,240 Speaker 3: to say, hey, look, you know, I know what you 681 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 3: want to do, but we're not gonna do that. Like 682 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:53,600 Speaker 3: we're gonna sit down and think about this. We're gonna 683 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,240 Speaker 3: breathe a little bit, you know what I'm saying. We 684 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:59,320 Speaker 3: gonna educate, we're gonna chill. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, 685 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 3: you know me, it usould be times. Boy, he'd be 686 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,200 Speaker 3: like they wouldn't even let me in the radio stage. 687 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:08,240 Speaker 2: I know, I'm clear, I've seen it, want me to. 688 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,040 Speaker 1: But you know, when we think about an artist and 689 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,720 Speaker 1: the people that we hold up high as like you know, 690 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,640 Speaker 1: the pillars in the community that we love for even 691 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 1: if it was for just toxic reasons, we loved. 692 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:19,680 Speaker 2: You, you know what I'm saying. 693 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,160 Speaker 1: So when we could take the pillars and we and 694 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,640 Speaker 1: we can see you evolve, it's really a gift. 695 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 3: But it's crazy because even going back to Mary with Mary, 696 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,880 Speaker 3: like you said, it's just like it's sad that like 697 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,520 Speaker 3: I can't say sad but because it's art, but it's 698 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:37,120 Speaker 3: almost like people want to marry break up album. No, 699 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:38,320 Speaker 3: I don't want to. 700 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 1: Be happy as her friend. That it pisses me off 701 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:41,960 Speaker 1: anytime I heard somebody. 702 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:48,320 Speaker 3: But people want a gezy you know street. It's just like, 703 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,760 Speaker 3: you know, I'm like, man, I'm working on myself. Man, 704 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:52,400 Speaker 3: I'm trying to you know what I'm saying, I'm trying 705 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,400 Speaker 3: to be a better me. And it's like we don't 706 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,240 Speaker 3: want that. They do want it, We do want but 707 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,360 Speaker 3: it's it's it's like you know, that's it's a thin 708 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 3: line you walk. 709 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,560 Speaker 1: Because people are suffering, so they're still in the There's 710 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,640 Speaker 1: a lot of people still going through some of the 711 00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:07,440 Speaker 1: things that you've kind of already worked through, so they 712 00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 1: looking for that thing to connect to. 713 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,680 Speaker 3: But that's why I want to connect to them in 714 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,680 Speaker 3: a different way. Yeah. So it's almost like you have this. 715 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,360 Speaker 3: I mean, somebody gave me thinking grow Rich. It changed 716 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,920 Speaker 3: my life, you know what I'm saying, Like, you know, 717 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 3: I've read that book several times, but it's just like, 718 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:23,440 Speaker 3: you know, that was a gift that somebody gave me. 719 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,360 Speaker 3: And I'm just saying, like, what's a lot of knowledge 720 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,120 Speaker 3: in this book? Right, and it applies to me. I 721 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:29,760 Speaker 3: know the guy who wrote it don't know me, but 722 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,640 Speaker 3: still right, and I look at the same way. But 723 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,000 Speaker 3: it's like it's the gift of the curse. You know 724 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,240 Speaker 3: when you when you're on your down, respiring, you just 725 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,880 Speaker 3: doing things out of spite and you just wading out 726 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:42,800 Speaker 3: of control. You on top of the world, you selling 727 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,840 Speaker 3: means and records tour, But is that on top of 728 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:46,160 Speaker 3: the world. 729 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 2: What's on top of the world for you? Like what 730 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,440 Speaker 2: are you your happiest. 731 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:57,200 Speaker 3: When of my my happiest when when when I'm serving people, 732 00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:03,040 Speaker 3: Like when I'm like even like doing shows, that's like 733 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 3: my full It's like my it's like my sermon. This 734 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,760 Speaker 3: is my church. This is where and I love it, 735 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 3: Like I love to connect with people. I love to 736 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 3: see them rejoice. I love to see them react. And 737 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:21,680 Speaker 3: it's just like that's that's me, you know, no TD Jakes, 738 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,240 Speaker 3: but this is my thing, Like this is my church 739 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:24,800 Speaker 3: for today? 740 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,080 Speaker 1: Is that what you Because I wonder, like you say, 741 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,640 Speaker 1: you're still in it, like you're still you still revert 742 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:31,880 Speaker 1: back to old things sometimes, what is the thing you 743 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:35,120 Speaker 1: tell yourself when you're you know, what is the motivation 744 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:35,959 Speaker 1: right now? 745 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:37,280 Speaker 3: Three? 746 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 2: Like what is the motivation? 747 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:45,720 Speaker 3: The motivation would be for me, you know, is to 748 00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:50,200 Speaker 3: continue evolving so that I can continue to pull in 749 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,080 Speaker 3: to the culture. Because it's just like you know it's 750 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 3: me and you talking because we talk on that level. 751 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:58,120 Speaker 3: Like you know, I'm I'm up early, I'm up four 752 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 3: thirty five every more, I'm reading, podcasting in the morning, 753 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:04,960 Speaker 3: I'm journaling, I'm doing all I mean, people might I mean, 754 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 3: it don't matter, but they. 755 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:07,880 Speaker 2: Say it's the that's the way to be the. 756 00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:09,920 Speaker 3: Most productive, and that's how you manifest. 757 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:10,920 Speaker 2: That's how you win the day. 758 00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,120 Speaker 3: They say, that's how you bring things to real life. 759 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:16,280 Speaker 3: And I'm up, like I'm up getting it in and 760 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,240 Speaker 3: I'm learning, and I'm educating myself and I'm researching things 761 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,160 Speaker 3: and I'm going you know, I'm doing all these things 762 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,600 Speaker 3: before people even get up to when you see me 763 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,160 Speaker 3: during the day, you know, I'm on ten. I don't 764 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:30,200 Speaker 3: meditating und there everything. I know it sounds crazy, it doesn't, 765 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,600 Speaker 3: but it's just like, that's are you. 766 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,200 Speaker 2: Meditating every day every day? 767 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:35,880 Speaker 3: This morning? 768 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 2: How many how long? 769 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,320 Speaker 3: We only had thirty minutes this morning because I had 770 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:39,640 Speaker 3: to go. 771 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,640 Speaker 2: Do that's thirty minutes is solid meditation. 772 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:46,120 Speaker 3: But it's the best. I mean, change you, yeah, because 773 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,600 Speaker 3: now you know I can control my anger. I can 774 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,920 Speaker 3: control you know, my frustrations. Say, I got a lot 775 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:53,760 Speaker 3: of clarity when I do things. Now, I'm not just 776 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,200 Speaker 3: doing things because I just feel like it. So you 777 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:56,720 Speaker 3: wake up. 778 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 2: At five am and you meditate every day every day. 779 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:05,240 Speaker 3: Wow, I'm reading a book. I'm doing something, yeah, journaling. 780 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:09,200 Speaker 3: And it's crazy because I got friends you know, that 781 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,120 Speaker 3: I talk to and they'll call me, well, you're doing 782 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,640 Speaker 3: the morning. I tell them, you know not most of 783 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:16,040 Speaker 3: em are doing that, and I'm watching their lives take off, 784 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:17,759 Speaker 3: and they're like, oh, this is crazy. You know what 785 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:18,120 Speaker 3: I'm saying. 786 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:19,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're inspiring me because one of the things I 787 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,080 Speaker 1: know I need to do for myself. Well, number one, 788 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,560 Speaker 1: I don't meditate enough. I try, sometimes I don't do 789 00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:26,360 Speaker 1: it enough. Golf in a weird way has become like 790 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,359 Speaker 1: a little bit of meditation. I go by myself and 791 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,480 Speaker 1: it becomes like an out walking kind of meditation. 792 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,560 Speaker 3: But I go by myself. Yeah, but I guess. 793 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,520 Speaker 1: But because it comes to thing, it's like a meditation 794 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,600 Speaker 1: for me. But and I know I need to get 795 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,280 Speaker 1: up earlier. I know that's the thing changes the day. 796 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:40,920 Speaker 3: Right, it changed. It changes your life. 797 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:42,880 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Get down a little. 798 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:46,319 Speaker 3: Bit because you get up early, right, you got time 799 00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 3: to do everything that you need to do before you 800 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,239 Speaker 3: even come into contact with people. So you do all 801 00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:51,680 Speaker 3: the things. 802 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:52,880 Speaker 2: Are You're not on your phone in the morning. 803 00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:54,720 Speaker 3: No, I don't touch my phone the first three hours 804 00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:56,960 Speaker 3: I'm up. You know what I'm saying the most, have 805 00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,680 Speaker 3: I got something going on, I give it an hour 806 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,400 Speaker 3: at the least that the most, like three hours, Like 807 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:02,280 Speaker 3: that's my time. 808 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:03,600 Speaker 2: You're so disciplined. 809 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, because that's the only thing that's gonna keep me 810 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,719 Speaker 3: going because I have to take that time to you know, 811 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:12,759 Speaker 3: to learn to journal, to figure things out. Right, So 812 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:17,880 Speaker 3: you imagine doing that year round, right. So before I 813 00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:19,799 Speaker 3: was just getting up when I just needed to get 814 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:21,480 Speaker 3: up and go do what I had to do, which 815 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,360 Speaker 3: I was productive. But now I'm like a hundred times 816 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:27,560 Speaker 3: more productive, right, and them a hundred times more keen 817 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:32,200 Speaker 3: to what's going on. I'm actually learning things, you know, 818 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:33,040 Speaker 3: throughout the day. 819 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,440 Speaker 2: You on your guru ship right now, it's crazy. 820 00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:38,400 Speaker 3: I respect it. Let's and I'll reach out to some 821 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:42,040 Speaker 3: of these people like I'll reach out to you know, 822 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,920 Speaker 3: and my and my mentor list is like crazy, it's 823 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:48,760 Speaker 3: not what you think, like John Maxwell, TD Jakes, Robert Green, 824 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,799 Speaker 3: Louis howe this way, that way, just going. 825 00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,120 Speaker 2: Robert Green just hopped my DMS. 826 00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:55,840 Speaker 3: The other day. You gotta rock with him, that's my main. 827 00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:58,480 Speaker 2: I don't know him personally. 828 00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:02,640 Speaker 1: He was telling you got another book coming, Yeah, he 829 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:04,080 Speaker 1: has the anniversary coming up here. 830 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,480 Speaker 3: Robert go out. Me and Robert go out. When I'm 831 00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:09,240 Speaker 3: in l A. We go out to the uh Man's 832 00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:15,560 Speaker 3: Health Club downtown, sit and have tea. Who are he s? 833 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 3: Didn't have tea and maybe lunch? And I just asked 834 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:24,879 Speaker 3: him questions. Brilliant, brilliant. He's like, it's crazy the way 835 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:25,760 Speaker 3: he understands people. 836 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:28,680 Speaker 2: I want to him, can I have tea with you? 837 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:32,560 Speaker 3: We'll play golf and half tea. But but and I'm 838 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,920 Speaker 3: not even trying to be funny. It's just like when 839 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,960 Speaker 3: you're sitting around people like that, that's just you got 840 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:38,399 Speaker 3: to think. He wrote the forty eight Laws of Power, 841 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,960 Speaker 3: all the seduction. He understands, so you can ask him questions. 842 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:43,520 Speaker 2: I'm going to book him on the pot. I need him. 843 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,520 Speaker 3: He's dope, Yeah, for sure, he's dope. He's dope. But 844 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:50,759 Speaker 3: all those guys are John Maxwell, Yeah, you know, next level, 845 00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:51,759 Speaker 3: Steve Harvey for sure. 846 00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,560 Speaker 1: You know you talk about dealing with you have this 847 00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:56,640 Speaker 1: thick skin, yes, of course, and you're all the things 848 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,560 Speaker 1: that you do, discipline and all those things, but you 849 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,480 Speaker 1: did go periods where you went deal with anxiety and 850 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:08,680 Speaker 1: paranoida even depression at some points. And I don't know 851 00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:10,799 Speaker 1: how bad did that get for you? And then how 852 00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,080 Speaker 1: did how did you get to the other. 853 00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:16,040 Speaker 3: Side of that rock bottom? 854 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:16,680 Speaker 2: But what is that? 855 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,399 Speaker 1: What did that look like? How did that show up? 856 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,319 Speaker 1: Like when you say paranoid, what is that? 857 00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:22,520 Speaker 3: Or I mean I was what what it was was, 858 00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 3: I was having a bunch of nightmares about you know, 859 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,760 Speaker 3: skinting caught up what was going on even after the fact. 860 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:35,799 Speaker 3: I'll talk about the book as well, and it it 861 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:38,480 Speaker 3: the nightmares just got bad, you know what I'm saying. 862 00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,840 Speaker 3: And it was just it was just bad. And again 863 00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:45,399 Speaker 3: like I went to my vices, you know, and. 864 00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:48,560 Speaker 2: I was drinking. 865 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,319 Speaker 3: But I was like I wasn't like just drinking. I 866 00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:56,040 Speaker 3: was like drinking just the numb self soue smoking a 867 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:57,879 Speaker 3: lot too. I don't know why I did that, cause 868 00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,879 Speaker 3: I have you in your head, so that that wasn't good. 869 00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:08,279 Speaker 3: The anxiety again, like I thought something was wrong with me. 870 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,080 Speaker 3: I didn't know what I was experiencing because I hadn't 871 00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:12,960 Speaker 3: heard the word yet, right. 872 00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:15,760 Speaker 2: And what was happening, Like, how was it showing? 873 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:20,000 Speaker 3: I mean, it just it's almost like you can feel 874 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,080 Speaker 3: the like when you get in a certain situations, like 875 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,000 Speaker 3: you feel the toxins in your blood, like you just 876 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,160 Speaker 3: feel it, like you just you just feel like it's 877 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,480 Speaker 3: very hard to explain. Yeah, you feel like you're on fire. 878 00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:33,240 Speaker 3: You can't really breathe, you can't function, you can't think. 879 00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,080 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. It feels like the walls 880 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:35,719 Speaker 3: are closing in. 881 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,360 Speaker 1: I asked you that because I've had that feeling and 882 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,200 Speaker 1: I didn't have anxiety my whole life, or at least 883 00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:43,520 Speaker 1: I didn't think I did. Then after the accident, it 884 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:45,680 Speaker 1: was like a year where I would be and I 885 00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,400 Speaker 1: would be in safe, I would it would happen in 886 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,080 Speaker 1: the most random place. I was at Pegas's house one time, 887 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,080 Speaker 1: his daughter's birthday party, and I was like, I have 888 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:55,040 Speaker 1: to leave, and I didn't know what was happening to me, 889 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,839 Speaker 1: but I just felt so tight and I in that moment, 890 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:00,440 Speaker 1: even though I was going through it, and I knew 891 00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:01,719 Speaker 1: I had to get out of it, and I know 892 00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:05,839 Speaker 1: it was just left over from accident and lost and 893 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,960 Speaker 1: sadness and all that. But I was like, oh, this 894 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,759 Speaker 1: is the ship people be talking about and it's so 895 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,960 Speaker 1: hard to explain the feeling of it, but it could 896 00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:16,680 Speaker 1: make you feel like. 897 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,319 Speaker 2: You're about to die or crazy or like. 898 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,440 Speaker 3: And I had to learn. I had to research and 899 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,000 Speaker 3: learn about it because you know, I was at doctor 900 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,399 Speaker 3: is jeezy. I was like at first, you know, until 901 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,480 Speaker 3: I learned about it. But then when I just started 902 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,480 Speaker 3: learning about breathing and stuff, that was like a game 903 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:34,080 Speaker 3: changing for me. You know, to be able to control 904 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:38,160 Speaker 3: your breathing and slow yourself down and just like get 905 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,520 Speaker 3: to a place where you mobilize. And you know that 906 00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:43,160 Speaker 3: took a lot because I was like, you, I'll be 907 00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,120 Speaker 3: sitting somewhere, I just get up and go. People like 908 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:46,520 Speaker 3: where you went, I'm ab out of there. 909 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,480 Speaker 2: You know why what were you feeling? 910 00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:50,600 Speaker 3: I mean, it's just like I had to leave no 911 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:54,040 Speaker 3: matter what, just and if I didn't like it was 912 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,920 Speaker 3: crazy because like sometimes it would get so crazy like 913 00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,439 Speaker 3: I might black out, you know what I'm saying, because 914 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,480 Speaker 3: it got that bad, m you know what I'm saying. 915 00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:05,160 Speaker 3: And I didn't wanna black around anybody. But the other 916 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:05,759 Speaker 3: thing was. 917 00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:06,439 Speaker 2: To pass out. 918 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:10,279 Speaker 3: Yeah why and then depression like you know, probably up 919 00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:14,960 Speaker 3: until like from O four to about eight h that 920 00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:19,200 Speaker 3: was real. That was y. You imagine waking up every 921 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:23,920 Speaker 3: day feeling like, you know what I'm saying, I don't 922 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,239 Speaker 3: wanna I don't wanna be here, like I don't like 923 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:30,319 Speaker 3: every day. And I didn't snap out up it until 924 00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:32,480 Speaker 3: I started writing A Recession. I d I just when 925 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:36,840 Speaker 3: I snapped out of it, and it was like it 926 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:39,080 Speaker 3: was crazy cause I was like going through this situation, 927 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:41,400 Speaker 3: I was breaking up with somebody. It was just like area, 928 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:43,280 Speaker 3: I'm like, ah, I'm go get my body again. I'm'a 929 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,600 Speaker 3: go ahead and write this record. Everything just happened at 930 00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:47,600 Speaker 3: one time, and I just came to my grips. I 931 00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:50,240 Speaker 3: was like, yo, brou you a superstar. You got a career, 932 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,160 Speaker 3: You gotta focus, you gotta get back. So everything that 933 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:55,040 Speaker 3: I learned from the streets, actually I steal back in myself, 934 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,920 Speaker 3: my discipline and everything. And that's when I started to 935 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:01,200 Speaker 3: learn about what depression was us right, because I didn't 936 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,880 Speaker 3: know what it was. I just thought then I was 937 00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,920 Speaker 3: just dealing with being a black man trying to figure 938 00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,279 Speaker 3: out life, don't know if you're going to jail or not. 939 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,000 Speaker 3: You don't know if you're going to be alive or not, 940 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:13,040 Speaker 3: like that's what you're thinking it is, But it's like 941 00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:18,200 Speaker 3: all those things compiled on you know, just where you're 942 00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:20,520 Speaker 3: at and how you're taking care of yourself right, and 943 00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:24,239 Speaker 3: then what are your surroundings Because I wasn't around like 944 00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:27,359 Speaker 3: positive people, you know what I'm saying, Like nobody around 945 00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:33,440 Speaker 3: me trying to uplift me. Nobody check on me, you straight, 946 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,400 Speaker 3: you know, And I learned that when Shaqui is just 947 00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:38,560 Speaker 3: like you got to check on your strong friends, your 948 00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:40,680 Speaker 3: strong friends. You just never know what somebody going through. 949 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:41,600 Speaker 2: Shakier. 950 00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,160 Speaker 1: Obviously you talk about him a lot, and I have. 951 00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:46,560 Speaker 1: I knew Shaki, but not as well as some very 952 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 1: close people to me. So I was around people who 953 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:53,200 Speaker 1: were grieving so bad, you know, Margo's family, Pat guys. 954 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,560 Speaker 2: I just knew a lot of people that were very 955 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:56,200 Speaker 2: close to him. 956 00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:59,319 Speaker 1: And I remember when the news came and everybody was 957 00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:03,040 Speaker 1: so shocked, cause he didn't seem like somebody who would 958 00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:06,840 Speaker 1: take his own life right. And for s for you, somebody, 959 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,480 Speaker 1: he changed your life right, Yes. 960 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,400 Speaker 3: And I'll never forget I got the car. I was 961 00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,319 Speaker 3: going to Florida to do a show and I was 962 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,080 Speaker 3: on the tour bus and my man called me. He 963 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,440 Speaker 3: was like yo. I was like what's He said? You good? 964 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:18,160 Speaker 3: I was like yeah, I'm straight. 965 00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:20,080 Speaker 4: What's going on? He was like, man, I just wanna 966 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,120 Speaker 4: tell you, man, Shake ain't here no more. And I 967 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,480 Speaker 4: was like, what you mean, He's not here? You know, 968 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,080 Speaker 4: He's just like, he's not here. And I kind of 969 00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,520 Speaker 4: sat down on the bus. I said, Okay, I'm about 970 00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:31,480 Speaker 4: to walk out and perform him from the thirty thousand people. 971 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,720 Speaker 3: He say, he he's not here. Man, he killed herself. 972 00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:38,040 Speaker 4: And I'm just like it it didn't and and uh, 973 00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:42,439 Speaker 4: what's his name's wife called me, uh, Elliott Wilson cause 974 00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:44,799 Speaker 4: there was friends from the Bay and she said is 975 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:45,120 Speaker 4: it true? 976 00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:49,759 Speaker 3: And I was just like y, I can't c f geah. 977 00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,800 Speaker 3: And that was the last car and I just remember 978 00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,480 Speaker 3: I went. I did the show, which probably like the 979 00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,799 Speaker 3: two man like, I can't even I wasn't even in 980 00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:59,840 Speaker 3: my right mind. And I remember going back to my 981 00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:03,000 Speaker 3: my house and I literally lay in the bed for 982 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:08,399 Speaker 3: two weeks, like going through every thought of why I 983 00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:13,160 Speaker 3: didn't see well I didn't see the signs, you know 984 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,279 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. I'm just like, why why didn't I 985 00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:18,360 Speaker 3: like w what? And then why didn't he talk to me? 986 00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,759 Speaker 3: Cause we talked about everything else, you know what I'm saying. 987 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:24,600 Speaker 3: I just didn't understand it an and and man, it 988 00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,719 Speaker 3: was just like did. 989 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:28,920 Speaker 2: That trigger the depression? Was that around the time or I. 990 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:31,120 Speaker 3: Mean it only added on to it, you know what 991 00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,320 Speaker 3: I'm saying. Around that time. One of my other homies 992 00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,840 Speaker 3: had that was young with us we I I I 993 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,000 Speaker 3: ended up dropping him off in the federal penitential. When 994 00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:41,560 Speaker 3: he got his time, he had got out, he become 995 00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:43,480 Speaker 3: a Muslim, he was trying to get his life together, 996 00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,120 Speaker 3: and around that same time he got killed and then 997 00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:49,759 Speaker 3: it was just like a domino effector he was just 998 00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,000 Speaker 3: like you know, back to back to back to back, 999 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:53,520 Speaker 3: and I was just like, Dad, I just need a break, 1000 00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:55,600 Speaker 3: like I just need to breathing, you know what I'm saying. Like, 1001 00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:58,520 Speaker 3: and it was just like but the shape thing. 1002 00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:01,120 Speaker 4: Like I don't know, man, because you talking about somebody 1003 00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:04,640 Speaker 4: who has so much energy and was so just like 1004 00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:09,000 Speaker 4: and just so charismatic and so funny, and it's just like. 1005 00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:12,719 Speaker 1: Where do you put it now, like after working on 1006 00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:14,960 Speaker 1: yourself a bit and thinking about it so much. 1007 00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:18,680 Speaker 3: In front, I ain't dealt with that shit like I 1008 00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:19,920 Speaker 3: I don't even know how. 1009 00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:22,839 Speaker 2: You know, but you felt that you felt the pain 1010 00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:23,200 Speaker 2: of it. 1011 00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,640 Speaker 3: I don't know what I felt, if I'm honest, like 1012 00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:28,640 Speaker 3: I can't, I can't lie. I don't, I don't, I 1013 00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:32,319 Speaker 3: don't know, you know, like I'm just it was just, 1014 00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:34,680 Speaker 3: you know, it's just like it was, you know, it 1015 00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:35,960 Speaker 3: was like one of those things you want to wake 1016 00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,279 Speaker 3: up from and you just like, I don't think. I 1017 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:41,040 Speaker 3: think it's real, you know, and it's crazy too, and 1018 00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:42,680 Speaker 3: I'm not just and I don't I definitely don't want 1019 00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:44,240 Speaker 3: to bring it down to beat, but it'd be sometimes 1020 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:46,040 Speaker 3: I might be going through my phone looking for somebody's 1021 00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:49,040 Speaker 3: number and pull up a number and I'm just like, man, 1022 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:53,120 Speaker 3: it's somebody who ain't here, somebody who's gone. You just 1023 00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:54,800 Speaker 3: like sh and you don't want to raise the number 1024 00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:59,400 Speaker 3: right and and it just you know. And that's why 1025 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:03,400 Speaker 3: I always give Shake executive credit on anything I do musically, 1026 00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:07,000 Speaker 3: because you know, Shake was the one to convinced Ellie 1027 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,520 Speaker 3: and Kevin LUs to sign me. He really saved my life. 1028 00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:12,200 Speaker 3: If you didn't sign, if I ain't, if death jam 1029 00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,600 Speaker 3: isn't signed me the timey sign me. I've been in prison, 1030 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,400 Speaker 3: there's no doubt about it. Go worse. 1031 00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:21,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, so he really saved my life single him. 1032 00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:21,719 Speaker 3: He did that. 1033 00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,279 Speaker 1: It's interesting because you we always talk about to talk 1034 00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:26,359 Speaker 1: on your strong friends, and he's a wonderful I think 1035 00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,040 Speaker 1: of Chris lightighty. I think of so many people that 1036 00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:33,719 Speaker 1: you think, wow, why And it really to me is 1037 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,359 Speaker 1: one of the reasons I do this. Pot is probably 1038 00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:36,840 Speaker 1: one of the reasons you write the book. Is this 1039 00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,719 Speaker 1: that we don't have and we weren't raised with the 1040 00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:42,359 Speaker 1: outlets to be able to be like, yo, I'm in 1041 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:46,880 Speaker 1: trouble express yourself. Yes, especially a black man in this war, 1042 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:47,760 Speaker 1: in this space. 1043 00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,560 Speaker 2: You're a rapper, you're you from the street. 1044 00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:53,920 Speaker 1: You gotta be hard, Like when are you out here 1045 00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:56,479 Speaker 1: being vulnerable like yo, I'm hurting? When do you say 1046 00:45:56,480 --> 00:46:00,399 Speaker 1: that you don't? Yeah, well that's doesn't that doesn't well 1047 00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:01,440 Speaker 1: we've learned that. 1048 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:01,880 Speaker 2: No. 1049 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:05,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's just like you know, the people on 1050 00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:07,160 Speaker 3: a superhero. 1051 00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:09,239 Speaker 1: You still feel like that. Do you feel like you 1052 00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:10,920 Speaker 1: got to be a superhero still? Or is that is 1053 00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:12,120 Speaker 1: that armor coming down. 1054 00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:16,319 Speaker 3: Take care of my people. I don't I don't like again. Like, 1055 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:21,240 Speaker 3: vulnerability to me now is is power. It brings people closer, 1056 00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:23,680 Speaker 3: like you know you and by the way, I want 1057 00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:25,800 Speaker 3: to own me before they do. You know my flaws. 1058 00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:28,879 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. Cool, you know what I'm saying. 1059 00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:33,280 Speaker 3: What you gonna say next. But it's different now because 1060 00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:39,880 Speaker 3: it's like it's coming from a place of like wanting 1061 00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:43,439 Speaker 3: to help rather than me just saying what I'm going through. 1062 00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,920 Speaker 3: And the thing about it is when you're coming from 1063 00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:50,759 Speaker 3: my generation, which was a different generation, it's that much harder. 1064 00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:56,280 Speaker 4: So imagine being the lone guy it made it. 1065 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:59,120 Speaker 3: Like the single person that made it. Imagine that pressure. 1066 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:03,880 Speaker 3: Imagine those close calls without that type of support and 1067 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,560 Speaker 3: you're trying to navigate this shit, you know. So when 1068 00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:10,040 Speaker 3: you see me telling my story of being vulnerable as 1069 00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:12,839 Speaker 3: places like I don't give the money's already made. I'm 1070 00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,040 Speaker 3: not tripping like we we were good, you know what 1071 00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,839 Speaker 3: I'm saying. But it's like, how can I pour back 1072 00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:20,000 Speaker 3: into my people? Like how can I give back what 1073 00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:23,200 Speaker 3: I took away? Like how can I be you. 1074 00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:25,440 Speaker 1: Know, well, you're doing that right now, But what a 1075 00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:29,040 Speaker 1: what do you what is the one thing like when 1076 00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:31,719 Speaker 1: it's all over and in the book, the real book, 1077 00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:33,680 Speaker 1: the end of the book is there, right? What is 1078 00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:36,880 Speaker 1: the thing that if if you could have been one 1079 00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,160 Speaker 1: thing to change people's lives, what is the one lesson 1080 00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:39,680 Speaker 1: the one. 1081 00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:42,799 Speaker 3: Thing live forward di empties? Like I gave everything I 1082 00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:47,640 Speaker 3: had and and my kids, my family and my supporters 1083 00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:50,920 Speaker 3: and everybody know that I was an honorable man like 1084 00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,960 Speaker 3: I was. I was, I was the one like I 1085 00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,440 Speaker 3: came and I did what was supposed to be done 1086 00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,719 Speaker 3: for for us like I didn't. I didn't do it 1087 00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:03,439 Speaker 3: for me, Like I'm not doing this for a person. Again, 1088 00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:05,960 Speaker 3: I had a great life before this, you know what 1089 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,400 Speaker 3: I'm saying, Like I had jury calls, all the shit. 1090 00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:11,200 Speaker 2: That people you were so motivated by money, young like you. 1091 00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:16,520 Speaker 3: But let me tell you why I was motivated by 1092 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,000 Speaker 3: money because I thought the money was going to be 1093 00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:21,160 Speaker 3: the answer to all my problems. Oh no, problems was 1094 00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:21,600 Speaker 3: just starting. 1095 00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:24,320 Speaker 4: Oh my god, what big say, more money, more problems? 1096 00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:28,719 Speaker 4: He was not playing. But but it's not money motivated. 1097 00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:32,760 Speaker 4: It's more so like, you know, how can I add value? 1098 00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:34,120 Speaker 4: Like how can I help that shit. 1099 00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:35,480 Speaker 3: Really matters to me, like, you know what, I many 1100 00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:38,080 Speaker 3: friends out sat down that was getting real money. They 1101 00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:39,839 Speaker 3: didn't know nothing about real estate. Where I put them 1102 00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:41,200 Speaker 3: in the game, you know. And they called me and 1103 00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:42,719 Speaker 3: be like you go through my phone right now. Man, 1104 00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:46,080 Speaker 3: I so love you for showing me about generational wealth. Man, 1105 00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:48,439 Speaker 3: I sold man. This book you gave me was ah Man, 1106 00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:50,359 Speaker 3: not my book either. Like, if I'm reading a good book, 1107 00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,279 Speaker 3: I'm gonna get it to my hownies, like check this 1108 00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,040 Speaker 3: out because I know they on that path. Right. So 1109 00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,799 Speaker 3: it's just like I just want to you know, I 1110 00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:59,680 Speaker 3: just want to inspire. I just want to help. I 1111 00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:03,440 Speaker 3: just want know be there because there beyondest with you. 1112 00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:06,600 Speaker 3: Nobody wanted there for me. Keep it a buck I 1113 00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:07,439 Speaker 3: had brought my head. 1114 00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,120 Speaker 2: But it's a miracle that you navigated. 1115 00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:13,800 Speaker 3: Talk about it. And I'm not I'm not doing any complaining. 1116 00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:14,839 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. 1117 00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:15,920 Speaker 2: You've got a good life. 1118 00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:17,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not. I'm not mad. 1119 00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:21,799 Speaker 1: I got you got the roads, the marriage, you got 1120 00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:24,719 Speaker 1: the do it. 1121 00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:29,279 Speaker 2: All right for yourself. Oh you're so good. It's so inspiring, yo. 1122 00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:32,120 Speaker 1: You know what's so crazy in the book. My life 1123 00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:38,960 Speaker 1: is way more. It's daintier. My life is way daintier. 1124 00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:39,040 Speaker 2: Than your life. 1125 00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:40,000 Speaker 3: Jeez. 1126 00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:42,080 Speaker 1: I came up with some geez and I also came 1127 00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:47,440 Speaker 1: up from some dysfunction and alcoholism and drug abuse and 1128 00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:49,920 Speaker 1: you know, roaches in my grandmother's apartment and had to 1129 00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:55,080 Speaker 1: put the light on that brunning out the toaster. The 1130 00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:56,719 Speaker 1: same thing right that, I know what that is is 1131 00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:58,160 Speaker 1: I had that you have to bang on the wall 1132 00:49:58,480 --> 00:49:59,960 Speaker 1: wake them up so they come out. 1133 00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:01,560 Speaker 3: So you know what's not. 1134 00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,640 Speaker 1: Grad from the things there's there's a lot of that also, 1135 00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:06,719 Speaker 1: the ups and downs, and so I think, you know, 1136 00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:10,440 Speaker 1: when I think about that, it's just so crazy. You 1137 00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,719 Speaker 1: never know who you connect with doesn't even have to 1138 00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:16,840 Speaker 1: be the the core audience or the core person that 1139 00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,719 Speaker 1: people would assume that your story would connect with. When 1140 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:21,520 Speaker 1: you put something out like this in the world, it's 1141 00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:23,879 Speaker 1: like you just never know where it lands or how 1142 00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:26,600 Speaker 1: it connects to who wore well this guy. 1143 00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:27,080 Speaker 2: Right here, Mike. 1144 00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:29,759 Speaker 3: But that's what I'm saying connected, That's what I was 1145 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:32,040 Speaker 3: saying about it, you know what I mean, That's what 1146 00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:33,799 Speaker 3: I was saying about thinking grow rich like it has 1147 00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:35,400 Speaker 3: nothing to do with me. And somebody gave me that 1148 00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:38,279 Speaker 3: book and it was it was life changing, right, So 1149 00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:42,560 Speaker 3: you know, even yourself is just like what you're doing 1150 00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,400 Speaker 3: on your new platform. You know, you just never know 1151 00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:48,280 Speaker 3: who you're helping out there. You never know who's getting 1152 00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:50,840 Speaker 3: this information and it's changing their lives or their perspective 1153 00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:52,920 Speaker 3: the way they look at things. Because I'm the same way, 1154 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,719 Speaker 3: Like I got people that I'm fans of that I 1155 00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:57,960 Speaker 3: go online and I watch the stuff and I'm like, 1156 00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,880 Speaker 3: oh wow, and it changes my life and it allows 1157 00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:03,719 Speaker 3: me to lead better, right and allows me to be 1158 00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:07,520 Speaker 3: a better version of myself. And I just think that, 1159 00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:10,439 Speaker 3: like that's that's what it's about. So what you're doing 1160 00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,520 Speaker 3: here is wonderful, right, And like I said, it's like 1161 00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:16,040 Speaker 3: even for all us in the culture, like you know, 1162 00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,480 Speaker 3: you always give us a safe space to you know, 1163 00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:21,120 Speaker 3: kind of you know, unwind it a little bit and 1164 00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:23,400 Speaker 3: being a little transparent, you know what I'm saying. 1165 00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:24,200 Speaker 2: Because I believe in that. 1166 00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:24,759 Speaker 3: I do. 1167 00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:25,440 Speaker 2: I believe in it. 1168 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:26,880 Speaker 1: And it's like I told you this earlier, Like it 1169 00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,359 Speaker 1: took me a while to the same way you. 1170 00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:31,760 Speaker 2: Made have fucked up your leadership at certain points. 1171 00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:34,160 Speaker 1: I think maybe even me, even younger me on the radio, 1172 00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:35,040 Speaker 1: I might have got caught up. 1173 00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:35,439 Speaker 2: Is something. 1174 00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:39,520 Speaker 1: Probably if grown me would handle things differently because but 1175 00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:41,719 Speaker 1: my intention is the same as yours. It's right to 1176 00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:45,400 Speaker 1: be truthful, to be inspiring, to uplift, to serve, to 1177 00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:47,399 Speaker 1: give back. I call those things I think the best 1178 00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:48,280 Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. 1179 00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:50,200 Speaker 2: So is that so? 1180 00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:51,680 Speaker 3: I appreciate you, especially. 1181 00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:52,200 Speaker 2: You who like you. 1182 00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:57,400 Speaker 1: Know you don't come from always telling it. 1183 00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,000 Speaker 3: So I love when you tell it. It's been interest 1184 00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:01,960 Speaker 3: in this whole. Look, they're gonna get in your business now. 1185 00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,240 Speaker 3: It's like, oh man, it's so good. 1186 00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:09,360 Speaker 2: You're doing great. All right, where's my real life questions? 1187 00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:11,359 Speaker 3: I want to know what he talks about with Robert Green, 1188 00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:14,399 Speaker 3: because people don't get to have conversations with what is. 1189 00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:17,120 Speaker 2: When you talk to a guy like Robert Green? 1190 00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:19,640 Speaker 3: What is the what is the jewel that he drops to? 1191 00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:22,239 Speaker 2: Just give me some of those jewels so we could 1192 00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:23,320 Speaker 2: pass them to the people. 1193 00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:24,920 Speaker 3: We talked about a lot of things, but the thing 1194 00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,360 Speaker 3: that stuck out of me the most. He's like, but 1195 00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:27,960 Speaker 3: what's going on in your life right now? You're most 1196 00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,040 Speaker 3: concerned about it? I said, you know what? I connect 1197 00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:32,239 Speaker 3: them with my son. And he said, when you talk 1198 00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:33,480 Speaker 3: to him, how do you talk to him? And I 1199 00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:37,680 Speaker 3: told him, and he said, okay, he said, next time 1200 00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:39,360 Speaker 3: you talk to him like that, put yourself in his 1201 00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:44,359 Speaker 3: shoes and think about how he's feeling. And I tried 1202 00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:46,839 Speaker 3: it and it worked. Wow. And it's like he has 1203 00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:50,439 Speaker 3: no nothing to do with my walk of life. And 1204 00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:52,160 Speaker 3: you know, we talked about the art of seduction, by 1205 00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:55,160 Speaker 3: the way, so you know that goes spicy. By the way, 1206 00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,480 Speaker 3: just tell me how you keep him engaged. 1207 00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:02,240 Speaker 2: Wow. But drop one of those jewels for the fellas, please. 1208 00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:02,480 Speaker 1: No. 1209 00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:04,440 Speaker 3: He was just saying that, you know, when if you 1210 00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:06,880 Speaker 3: if your wife is ever you know, like you know, 1211 00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:10,759 Speaker 3: upset or whatever, did like not match your energy to 1212 00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:15,520 Speaker 3: always stay calm, make her laugh and we's out of 1213 00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,719 Speaker 3: the situation like that, and she will look at you 1214 00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:21,960 Speaker 3: in a totally different light because when she was in 1215 00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,239 Speaker 3: a position where she was ready to go in you know, 1216 00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:26,120 Speaker 3: not to say that it has all the time that 1217 00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:29,080 Speaker 3: you you changed her mood by you being charming and 1218 00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,480 Speaker 3: you being you And I'm like, yo, that should work. 1219 00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:33,880 Speaker 3: It works. 1220 00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:36,960 Speaker 2: That's actually really good. I've never heard that. 1221 00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:40,879 Speaker 3: I mean, come on, come on, really okay, cool, let's 1222 00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:42,840 Speaker 3: go up. You know what I mean is that? But 1223 00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:44,920 Speaker 3: but he taught me about the artist. Not everybody could 1224 00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:46,960 Speaker 3: pull that off. You could pull that off pretty charming, though, 1225 00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,040 Speaker 3: ye want I'm a legal so you know there's that. 1226 00:53:49,239 --> 00:53:53,000 Speaker 3: But that's but there's great. That's great information because you know, 1227 00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:55,160 Speaker 3: you know, you know a lot of times we try 1228 00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:58,560 Speaker 3: to match energy. You're not supposed to match energy, right, 1229 00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:02,960 Speaker 3: You're supposed to change the mood, like change the whole situation. 1230 00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:04,520 Speaker 3: And going back to what he said by my son, 1231 00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,680 Speaker 3: it's just like I have to think about that because 1232 00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:09,080 Speaker 3: I've been I've been his age before, right outside down 1233 00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:10,680 Speaker 3: and talking to my dad. You know, I don't hear 1234 00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:13,120 Speaker 3: everything you got to say. I don't want nobody like 1235 00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:15,440 Speaker 3: chastise me and tell me what I'm not good at, 1236 00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:17,719 Speaker 3: so I have to put myself in that position. Was 1237 00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:19,719 Speaker 3: probably some of the dopest advice he told me. And 1238 00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:22,120 Speaker 3: even like just about life. It's just about taking everything, 1239 00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:27,200 Speaker 3: taking everything slow right, not trying to like do too 1240 00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:30,080 Speaker 3: much at one time. And he told me something crazy too, 1241 00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:33,680 Speaker 3: and I was onto something before this new thing. He 1242 00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:35,520 Speaker 3: was like, you should talk less, and I was like, 1243 00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:37,520 Speaker 3: you know what, I was there. They tricked me. I 1244 00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:42,040 Speaker 3: was good at that. Going to interviews, I'm like, answer 1245 00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:44,279 Speaker 3: all these questions. I'm saying all these answers. He's like, 1246 00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:46,680 Speaker 3: you know, you should talk less. I was like, I 1247 00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:49,040 Speaker 3: was doing that at first. You know what, go back 1248 00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:50,840 Speaker 3: to that you're doing in some seasons. Yeah, but he 1249 00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:54,279 Speaker 3: was saying that when you talk less, you you you 1250 00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:59,600 Speaker 3: come across more powerful, right, you come across uh people 1251 00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:02,600 Speaker 3: remember what you say, and when you speak, you should 1252 00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:06,240 Speaker 3: say things that matter, like you just shouldn't speak to speak, 1253 00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:08,920 Speaker 3: which I thought was very interesting, But just sitting. 1254 00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:10,080 Speaker 2: Down with it, I don't think you're doing that now. 1255 00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:11,320 Speaker 2: I think you're speaking with something that. 1256 00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:15,080 Speaker 3: He also told me about being transparent as well, and 1257 00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:18,200 Speaker 3: he got a new book dropping as well. I think 1258 00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:20,759 Speaker 3: the re launch of the forty eight pounds, which is 1259 00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,719 Speaker 3: like listen, I'm gonna be honest with you, Like he's 1260 00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:26,440 Speaker 3: a g Like we sat down, it was like the Godfather, 1261 00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:31,040 Speaker 3: He's it was just you know what I'm saying. I 1262 00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:35,560 Speaker 3: think he had the salmon and we just sat up 1263 00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:37,640 Speaker 3: there and we just chopped it up and it was like. 1264 00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:39,640 Speaker 1: He probably sees the leader in you, and it's probably 1265 00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:42,200 Speaker 1: his way of the same way you want to put 1266 00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:44,799 Speaker 1: back into people, it's probably his way is putting into you. 1267 00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:46,160 Speaker 2: So that the then you could. 1268 00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:48,800 Speaker 3: Put John Maxwell's another one though, like he's like. 1269 00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:50,040 Speaker 2: What are those jewels? Give me something? 1270 00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:53,680 Speaker 3: It's like, man, John is We're gonna need a whole 1271 00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:54,440 Speaker 3: other episode for that. 1272 00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,200 Speaker 2: Okay, give me the top one or two. 1273 00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:57,560 Speaker 3: I mean, he was the one that told me about 1274 00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:00,759 Speaker 3: the seven questions. He's like, Yo, if I somebody you 1275 00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:03,359 Speaker 3: really like, your mentor somebody you believe in, just doing 1276 00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:06,239 Speaker 3: the same thing you're doing and invite them to lunch 1277 00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:08,719 Speaker 3: or dinner, tell them you're paying for it. And you 1278 00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:11,279 Speaker 3: just got seven questions, you want to ask them and 1279 00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:14,200 Speaker 3: have them together having wrote written out and it has 1280 00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:15,160 Speaker 3: never failed me yet. 1281 00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:16,080 Speaker 2: Who have you done it with? 1282 00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:16,680 Speaker 1: You? 1283 00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:19,400 Speaker 3: Name it Steve Harvey, t D Jake's. 1284 00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:21,279 Speaker 2: Jay Z. 1285 00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:23,960 Speaker 3: But I already was doing that. I didn't have seven 1286 00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:25,880 Speaker 3: because you probably thought it was a little crazy, but 1287 00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:29,240 Speaker 3: just any respect and it and not just even people 1288 00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:33,200 Speaker 3: that you know of, and the culture is that there's 1289 00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:36,239 Speaker 3: successful in that round. It's business people, CEOs. You know 1290 00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:39,720 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. Questions. Yeah, you just you get seven questions, 1291 00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:40,799 Speaker 3: you know, and you just. 1292 00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:42,279 Speaker 2: Do you tell them I'm going to ask you seven 1293 00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:43,200 Speaker 2: questions or you just have that. 1294 00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:44,480 Speaker 3: You're kind of like, you know, I just want to 1295 00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:46,239 Speaker 3: kind of pick your brain and then you sit down, 1296 00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:48,080 Speaker 3: but like, these are things that you really want, Like 1297 00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:51,240 Speaker 3: you're not just going to acting seven random questions, things 1298 00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:53,439 Speaker 3: that you really want to know, right, and you wanted 1299 00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:55,719 Speaker 3: to want to understand and this knowledge you're not going 1300 00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,920 Speaker 3: to get from anybody else. When I talk to my 1301 00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:02,600 Speaker 3: you know, my friends who do very well for themselves, 1302 00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:05,360 Speaker 3: like you know, they are being as but that's not 1303 00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:08,799 Speaker 3: the point. It's like I'm asking the questions that you're 1304 00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:09,520 Speaker 3: running too. 1305 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:10,880 Speaker 2: I'm going to steal this from you. 1306 00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:13,440 Speaker 3: Yes, go ahead. You asked the questions that you might 1307 00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:18,120 Speaker 3: run into as you continue to be successful, right, because 1308 00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:20,680 Speaker 3: you got to know, like you're not knowing you know 1309 00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:22,920 Speaker 3: what of tax breaks you can get. You know you're 1310 00:57:22,920 --> 00:57:23,400 Speaker 3: getting this. 1311 00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:26,480 Speaker 2: But you're doing it. All these questions are there. 1312 00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:29,160 Speaker 1: You're heading into relationships with intention now, so you're like 1313 00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:30,160 Speaker 1: and think about. 1314 00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:33,120 Speaker 3: That's the word. I'm looking for everything. And that's another 1315 00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:35,720 Speaker 3: thing Robert Green talked to me about. It is like 1316 00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:38,800 Speaker 3: every time you sit down with somebody, every time you 1317 00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:40,560 Speaker 3: have a conversation with somebody, every time you go to 1318 00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:43,520 Speaker 3: an event, know what your intention is. Don't just go 1319 00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,920 Speaker 3: to be there, and you know, rub Shoulders, like, know 1320 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,720 Speaker 3: what your intention is. You're having a conversation with somebody, 1321 00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,520 Speaker 3: you know, you're having a meeting. The first thing says, okay, 1322 00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:55,600 Speaker 3: you know, well my intention for this meeting is. 1323 00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:58,400 Speaker 2: That's so good. We waste so much time. 1324 00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:00,800 Speaker 1: And you think about, like we've been business a long time. 1325 00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:03,439 Speaker 1: We have access to these incredible people and we could 1326 00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:03,840 Speaker 1: waste it. 1327 00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:04,800 Speaker 3: But like, hey man, what's up. 1328 00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:09,280 Speaker 1: You're good, but we wasted with no intention just small talk, 1329 00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:12,360 Speaker 1: which okay is fine sometimes, but and it's not just us. 1330 00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:14,800 Speaker 1: Even if you're a kid in school, there's definitely a 1331 00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:17,560 Speaker 1: dope ass teacher in your school that you have access to, 1332 00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:21,200 Speaker 1: or somebody on the job who just knows more than you. 1333 00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:24,840 Speaker 1: But it's people in our lives that if you use 1334 00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:26,320 Speaker 1: that that that. 1335 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,800 Speaker 3: Skill set up, you go sit down and talk to 1336 00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:31,920 Speaker 3: somebody like and just say, you know, like Deon Sanders, 1337 00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:35,400 Speaker 3: which is you know, Deon is a dope individual. Right. 1338 00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:37,280 Speaker 3: You don't want to just go sit down with Deon 1339 00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:37,840 Speaker 3: just hang out. 1340 00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:40,040 Speaker 2: You don't want to ask him what you have for lunch. 1341 00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:42,439 Speaker 3: You gotta have attention, you know when you talk, because 1342 00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:45,360 Speaker 3: this time is like anybody else's time is valuable. 1343 00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:47,520 Speaker 2: What kind of questions do you ask, like, give me one. 1344 00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:51,200 Speaker 3: With about life, like you know, just where his piece 1345 00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:53,120 Speaker 3: is at, you know, mater, Like how Dion live? Like 1346 00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:55,920 Speaker 3: he's got his house, he on his got his boats, 1347 00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:58,080 Speaker 3: he fished, you do all these things. It's just like 1348 00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:00,680 Speaker 3: but just think about it. If you look at his 1349 00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:03,520 Speaker 3: career on what he's doing, he's pawing into the youth. 1350 00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:06,640 Speaker 3: He's taking all the things he learned and he's pouring 1351 00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:09,240 Speaker 3: into the youth. And he's somebody that they respect and 1352 00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:13,240 Speaker 3: they've seen do what he's done, right, and they still 1353 00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:15,320 Speaker 3: have respect for him. Think about how hard that is 1354 00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:16,960 Speaker 3: for people to still have respect for you at this 1355 00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:20,920 Speaker 3: point after you've played and you've retired your jersey, you 1356 00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:23,200 Speaker 3: did all these things, but they still respect him because 1357 00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:25,440 Speaker 3: he's still pouring into them, right, and that's how he's 1358 00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:27,120 Speaker 3: being fulfilled. And if you look at it, he looks 1359 00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:30,680 Speaker 3: younger than a lot of guys. So then what is 1360 00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:35,200 Speaker 3: the question, Well, Dion, why Dione about this like regular life? 1361 00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:37,960 Speaker 3: Like real life? Like yo, man, you know what you're 1362 00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:40,280 Speaker 3: doing these days like on some on some peace stuff. 1363 00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:41,640 Speaker 3: And he tells me all the time he's fished. Why 1364 00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:43,040 Speaker 3: don't you come out and fish? Actually I got to 1365 00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:44,640 Speaker 3: go out and fish with him, and that's probably what 1366 00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:46,480 Speaker 3: I'm going to really dig in. But he told me 1367 00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:47,919 Speaker 3: to really sting. You know, when I when I first 1368 00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:49,600 Speaker 3: started talking to He's like, yo, Jesz, I like you, 1369 00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:51,720 Speaker 3: but I got to really get to know you. You know, 1370 00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:54,520 Speaker 3: he said that when you asked one of those questions 1371 00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:56,440 Speaker 3: I know, when when we first started kicking it, and 1372 00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:58,400 Speaker 3: he's like, I like you, but I got to really 1373 00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:00,320 Speaker 3: get to know you. That that that taught me about it. 1374 01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:02,560 Speaker 2: I kind of love that. 1375 01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:05,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, I feel like I need to tell 1376 01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:09,000 Speaker 3: people that because you allowing them in your space, right 1377 01:00:09,120 --> 01:00:11,960 Speaker 3: and and if you're gonna give them game and and 1378 01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:15,080 Speaker 3: some type of value, you got to make sure that 1379 01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:17,480 Speaker 3: they're they're they're worth it. You know. You can't just 1380 01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:19,360 Speaker 3: have people coming in your space and you giving them 1381 01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:22,560 Speaker 3: all this intel and insight and resources and then you 1382 01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:25,160 Speaker 3: know they're not who they say they are. You know, 1383 01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:27,240 Speaker 3: you turn them onto your people and then they go 1384 01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:29,480 Speaker 3: do something crazy that's burning your resources, you know what 1385 01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:31,400 Speaker 3: I'm saying. So I respect that. I'm like that. 1386 01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:35,440 Speaker 2: So in real life, what are you most proud of 1387 01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:37,160 Speaker 2: about yourself. 1388 01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:41,320 Speaker 3: One I'm most proud of bout myself. I would say 1389 01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:46,000 Speaker 3: the fact that I never gave up when I could 1390 01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:51,200 Speaker 3: have so many times I just refused to. And every 1391 01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:57,240 Speaker 3: day I strive to just be better, you know, no 1392 01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:59,960 Speaker 3: matter what's going on around me. But I've seen so 1393 01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,360 Speaker 3: many people just quit, you know. 1394 01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:10,520 Speaker 1: And in real life, what do you pray for most? 1395 01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:16,240 Speaker 3: Peace? My family's good, that the people that I love 1396 01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:21,120 Speaker 3: are good, and then that we're all a healthy. 1397 01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:23,960 Speaker 2: Who was the first person to believe in you? 1398 01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:25,080 Speaker 3: Me? 1399 01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:33,240 Speaker 2: From where? Like how they information? 1400 01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:35,880 Speaker 3: I just knew I ain't had no choice. You gotta 1401 01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:39,960 Speaker 3: do this. You did everything else, Like why not? No 1402 01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:41,200 Speaker 3: matter what, you gotta do it. 1403 01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:45,000 Speaker 1: Bro I usually start the interviews with this, and I 1404 01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,480 Speaker 1: didn't do it, but I feel like, no, I want to. 1405 01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:47,960 Speaker 2: I want to end it with that. 1406 01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:52,840 Speaker 1: It's like right now in your life, like today, how 1407 01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:54,560 Speaker 1: happy are you on a scale of one to ten? 1408 01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:59,800 Speaker 4: It's a good question, I'll say at nine? Really yeah, 1409 01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:01,920 Speaker 4: mm hmm, I don't see nine. 1410 01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:04,880 Speaker 3: Tenhing's ever? Ten? 1411 01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:07,840 Speaker 2: Ever? Have you ever been in ten in your life? Never? 1412 01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:10,560 Speaker 3: I've never been a nine of my life, even for 1413 01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:13,000 Speaker 3: a time you asked me. It's a third motivation. I've 1414 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:14,160 Speaker 3: probably been in one and a half. 1415 01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:23,040 Speaker 4: Really yeah, I would say nine. Yeah, based on what 1416 01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:30,600 Speaker 4: just based on life experiences, people, conversations, the small things. 1417 01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:33,080 Speaker 4: I love food, I love go sit down and have 1418 01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:36,040 Speaker 4: a good meal. I got hobbies now, I never had 1419 01:02:36,080 --> 01:02:40,320 Speaker 4: hobbies before off in boxing, you know. I mean, you know, 1420 01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:42,919 Speaker 4: I got hobbies like journaling, you know what I'm saying. 1421 01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:46,640 Speaker 3: Yeah that you know what I'm saying. It shows you 1422 01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:52,400 Speaker 3: look your eyes are white, and that was the vision. 1423 01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:54,840 Speaker 3: But that's the thing. It's just like, you know, making 1424 01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:56,840 Speaker 3: time for yourself and like doing the things that you 1425 01:02:56,880 --> 01:02:59,400 Speaker 3: love to do. I love music. So if I've been 1426 01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:01,520 Speaker 3: time like and just like sit down listen to like 1427 01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:04,439 Speaker 3: music that I came up into my era, that really 1428 01:03:04,440 --> 01:03:06,520 Speaker 3: makes me like happy, you know what I'm saying. And 1429 01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:08,000 Speaker 3: they and they said, you know, if you ever get 1430 01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:12,120 Speaker 3: into a a a downward spiral, just do the things 1431 01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:14,920 Speaker 3: that you enjoyed as a kid, you know what I'm saying. 1432 01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:17,640 Speaker 3: And and that's what I do when you're in a 1433 01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:20,440 Speaker 3: down spiral. Yeah, like do the things that you enjoyed 1434 01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:22,560 Speaker 3: to do as a kid that makes you happy, you know, 1435 01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:24,080 Speaker 3: cause that's the thing you gotta do you gotta take 1436 01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:26,280 Speaker 3: care of your star player. M. You gotta keep yourself 1437 01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:28,360 Speaker 3: happy before you can make anybody else happy. And and 1438 01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:31,080 Speaker 3: and I think the biggest thing if you're asking, is 1439 01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:35,080 Speaker 3: self love. I think in in these last few years, 1440 01:03:35,160 --> 01:03:37,360 Speaker 3: I really loved learned to love myself. 1441 01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:37,880 Speaker 1: MM. 1442 01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:39,400 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. I really a r cause 1443 01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:41,800 Speaker 3: it was a time I wasn't rocking with homie, you 1444 01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:44,520 Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. And I just really just learn 1445 01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:46,880 Speaker 3: how to love myself and just to understand like, no 1446 01:03:46,920 --> 01:03:49,640 Speaker 3: matter what you know, i'm'a be okay, M. And that 1447 01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:53,040 Speaker 3: you know like I'm I my intentions are good, right. 1448 01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:57,440 Speaker 3: And and when I learned how to love myself, like 1449 01:03:57,560 --> 01:03:59,880 Speaker 3: everything changed around me. Like that's when I was able 1450 01:03:59,920 --> 01:04:02,680 Speaker 3: to start chipping that wall down because I no longer 1451 01:04:02,720 --> 01:04:04,760 Speaker 3: needed it so good. 1452 01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:07,000 Speaker 1: And then I have to ask you this before you go, 1453 01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:10,040 Speaker 1: because you haven't gotten there yet. But you say you're 1454 01:04:10,040 --> 01:04:12,439 Speaker 1: gonna leave it all on the table before you leave. 1455 01:04:13,400 --> 01:04:16,280 Speaker 1: What does a ten look like? What is it gonna take? 1456 01:04:17,160 --> 01:04:18,880 Speaker 3: I think that there. I think that. 1457 01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:20,880 Speaker 2: Does the ten happen here? 1458 01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:23,280 Speaker 3: No, I don't think the ten happens. I think the 1459 01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,919 Speaker 3: ten happens when when when it's all sad and done 1460 01:04:25,960 --> 01:04:27,680 Speaker 3: and you've done everything that you set out to do, 1461 01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:30,680 Speaker 3: because I will always leave that one so that I 1462 01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:33,320 Speaker 3: got still something to work for, you know what I'm saying. 1463 01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:35,800 Speaker 3: And I'm a firm believer. When things get too good, 1464 01:04:35,840 --> 01:04:40,640 Speaker 3: I get concerned is going fall out? Bottom is gonna 1465 01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:43,200 Speaker 3: fall out at some point. And I don't think I've 1466 01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:47,760 Speaker 3: ever been to ten. But I'm enjoying nine. I'm I'm living, 1467 01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:52,640 Speaker 3: I'm learning, I'm loving, and it's just like, you know, 1468 01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:54,840 Speaker 3: it's a totally different wake up. You know, it's the 1469 01:04:54,840 --> 01:04:56,360 Speaker 3: time that I woke up and I didn't want to 1470 01:04:56,400 --> 01:04:57,920 Speaker 3: wake up. You know what I'm saying. I was like, 1471 01:04:57,960 --> 01:05:00,280 Speaker 3: I can't wait. You know what I'm saying. I was 1472 01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:03,280 Speaker 3: supposed to be up here at uh four thirty this morning. 1473 01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:05,479 Speaker 3: I think I was up here at two forty five. 1474 01:05:05,640 --> 01:05:07,520 Speaker 3: I was excited, you know what I'm saying about the day. 1475 01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:08,840 Speaker 3: I got things to do. 1476 01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:09,360 Speaker 4: You know what I mean. 1477 01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:12,120 Speaker 3: I'm like, my mind, I'm going through it. But at 1478 01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:14,240 Speaker 3: least I know I was up like three o'clock. But 1479 01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:18,360 Speaker 3: my point of case is you're happy, yeah, And I 1480 01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:21,520 Speaker 3: think you know, I thank God every day at nine 1481 01:05:21,600 --> 01:05:23,560 Speaker 3: is just fine with me. Even if it was an eight, 1482 01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:25,760 Speaker 3: I'll take it, you know what I'm saying. But the nine, 1483 01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:26,600 Speaker 3: it's just fine. 1484 01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:29,000 Speaker 2: That's pretty great. Nine is yeah, pretty great. 1485 01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:29,320 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1486 01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:32,720 Speaker 2: And if today is the last day, what do you 1487 01:05:32,760 --> 01:05:33,440 Speaker 2: do on the last day? 1488 01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:34,880 Speaker 3: That's just gonna ask me what I was gonna eat. 1489 01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:37,320 Speaker 3: I'm an chill with my family, eat pop pee's. It's 1490 01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:42,040 Speaker 3: a wrap. You go kick it. We have a good time, 1491 01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:44,960 Speaker 3: and then you know, probably drinking, you know, eat some 1492 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:47,800 Speaker 3: pop pe'es, drinking expensive bottle of wine. You know what 1493 01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:51,560 Speaker 3: I'm saying. You know, maybe have some uh some nod. 1494 01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:53,520 Speaker 3: I don't know, like, but it's gonna keep it simple, 1495 01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:56,360 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. And you know, gonna reminisce 1496 01:05:56,400 --> 01:05:57,800 Speaker 3: and it's a wrap. 1497 01:05:57,600 --> 01:05:58,880 Speaker 2: And head on your way to your tent. 1498 01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:01,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's gonna be all good. 1499 01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:02,400 Speaker 2: We're proud of man. 1500 01:06:02,480 --> 01:06:05,600 Speaker 3: Hopefully you know, hopefully somebody grated Torch and keep this 1501 01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:09,080 Speaker 3: going for us. And I appreciate your time. I appreciate 1502 01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:11,640 Speaker 3: your platform, and it's everything you do. 1503 01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:12,360 Speaker 2: I appreciate it. 1504 01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:14,400 Speaker 3: I love your growth as well, because I remember, I 1505 01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:16,400 Speaker 3: remember Angie Martinez, what you mean? 1506 01:06:17,960 --> 01:06:18,440 Speaker 2: What you mean? 1507 01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:24,800 Speaker 3: I remember was always good no, no, not that you 1508 01:06:24,880 --> 01:06:26,640 Speaker 3: was anything bad. But when you was young, you was 1509 01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:27,160 Speaker 3: young too. 1510 01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:30,280 Speaker 2: We were all young. We were trying our best, but 1511 01:06:30,360 --> 01:06:32,000 Speaker 2: we were young growing up. 1512 01:06:32,040 --> 01:06:35,440 Speaker 3: Now you're playing golf and ship. It's beautiful as now. 1513 01:06:35,520 --> 01:06:38,160 Speaker 3: I love it. I love it too for sure. Thank you, 1514 01:06:38,320 --> 01:06:42,560 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Young Jesus, No, just Jesuz. Grown Jeszy, 1515 01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:49,560 Speaker 3: grow happy at a level nine geze every