Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.
Speaker 2: Breakfast Club Morning, everybody in dej n V Jess hilarious,
Speaker 2: Charlemagne the God, we are the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 1: Laura Ross here as well. We got a special guest
Speaker 1: in the building.
Speaker 2: We have doctor Cheyenne Bryant.
Speaker 3: Welcome man.
Speaker 1: You are one of the people in the mental health space.
Speaker 1: Who are you? Who's us who's really using social media
Speaker 1: right right?
Speaker 4: Like you know, because you've used it to you know,
Speaker 4: elevate your platform and just elevate the conversation around mental health.
Speaker 1: So I applauded you on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. I always say
Speaker 3: I didn't get into this field to become a celebrity.
Speaker 3: But God has his own plans, right, So I literally
Speaker 3: and my master's and my doctor program. I remember my
Speaker 3: professor was saying, everyone who's gonna get license, raise your hand.
Speaker 3: I didn't raise my hand. Everybody else did. And he's like, Doc,
Speaker 3: you're going, you know with Shyanne at that time, you're
Speaker 3: going through all this not get license. I'm like, no,
Speaker 3: because I'm gonna be on a platform where I'm able
Speaker 3: to change lives. Didn't think that it ended up being
Speaker 3: a platform where to this magnitude one and then to
Speaker 3: the place where literally I didn't want it, the whole
Speaker 3: celebrity status and lifestyle. And not that I'm saying I
Speaker 3: don't want it now and I don't like it, It's just
Speaker 3: this is not where I expected it to go. But again,
Speaker 3: if God needs to use a celebritiness and I said
Speaker 3: it at your Mental health and Mental Health Expo, you know,
Speaker 3: whether the celebrity status brings me, the naysayers or the sayers,
Speaker 3: whatever it brings. As long as they can get a
Speaker 3: tip R two that gives them a better quality of
Speaker 3: life and helps them become better mentally, then run the play.
Speaker 3: I'm cool with it.
Speaker 5: How does that impact though, Like you do work in
Speaker 5: mental health, but there's a lot of like the naysayers
Speaker 5: are so loud, How does that impact you mental health wise?
Speaker 5: And like, what's your work through because it's there, especially
Speaker 5: with that when the cam interview came out, they were
Speaker 5: people were upset about it. Some people agree, but you know,
Speaker 5: how do you, as a person in that space deal
Speaker 5: with all of that pushback.
Speaker 3: This is the thing, Sis, I grew up a little
Speaker 3: girl in the inner city, in the hood. I grew
Speaker 3: up to two teenage parents. My mom was addicted to
Speaker 3: the drug that my father sold. I'm a product of
Speaker 3: a street dude, a straight gangster who turned into being
Speaker 3: a good family man, and my mom is now sober
Speaker 3: for the record. And so I say all that to
Speaker 3: say that when you grow up in a certain type
Speaker 3: of adversity, loud noise, that's against the grain of what
Speaker 3: you're doing. It's not a loud noise, you know, it's
Speaker 3: a norm. And that's why you know, the Bible says
Speaker 3: it's good for me that I was afflicted, because when
Speaker 3: you have those afflictions, they are preparing you for a
Speaker 3: time like this that you have to stand in a
Speaker 3: leadership role. And leadership comes with pressure, it comes with commitment,
Speaker 3: it comes with character. And so when you have naysayers
Speaker 3: who are applying pressure, then that's when you show if
Speaker 3: you apply it for your diamond. But I already knew
Speaker 3: from the trenches that I was a diamond, So I
Speaker 3: wasn't worried about coming into this space with somebody having
Speaker 3: a problem with what I'm doing. And I'm in my intent,
Speaker 3: I'm in my purpose, and I'm vertical on who i am.
Speaker 3: It don't matter to me because I'm running my own place,
Speaker 3: So I'm not sitting up there as a quarterback being
Speaker 3: Brady waiting for a moss.
Speaker 1: Just put somebody out there. We're gonna win.
Speaker 3: Put someone out there. That's just what it is, you know.
Speaker 3: So when you're vertical and who you are, you're not
Speaker 3: really worried about what is going to show up to
Speaker 3: catch the catch. You know you your job is to throw,
Speaker 3: and then the receiver's job is to do what to catch.
Speaker 3: And so the quarterback don't throw and go just catch
Speaker 3: you better do it? Just hands up. The quarterback throws
Speaker 3: and he like, all right, I know I did it.
Speaker 3: Tan up the slant over and that's it. And it's
Speaker 3: a celebration if you're in there. If not, we run
Speaker 3: the play back again until we do it. And that's
Speaker 3: just what That's what life's about.
Speaker 2: Now, you talked about your calling, So when it came
Speaker 2: when it comes to your calling, what is your calling?
Speaker 2: What do you specialize in? Is it relationships? Is it
Speaker 2: dealing with people's problems? Is it just listening? What is
Speaker 2: your specialty when it comes to and what's your calling?
Speaker 3: I love that. So I started off as a marriage
Speaker 3: and marriage i'man child therapist, and I tell God, I said, listen,
Speaker 3: I'm a little girl from the hood. You know what
Speaker 3: I come from. Don't put me in the hood, and
Speaker 3: don't put me with with you know, court order DCF kids.
Speaker 3: Not that I had a problem with him. I didn't
Speaker 3: want to be triggered dealing with them and I didn't
Speaker 3: want to have to deal with what I came from.
Speaker 3: I wasn't in the system, but I came from that
Speaker 3: type of adversity. And the first place God put me
Speaker 3: was off of Hotdale and Sloughster and I don't know
Speaker 3: if you're familiar with LA, but a block away from
Speaker 3: Sloss and swap me in the hood. And every one
Speaker 3: of my clients were court ordered DCFS Department of Family
Speaker 3: and Child Services. We have moms in there who were pregnant,
Speaker 3: still still hitting the pipe asking me can I sign
Speaker 3: off on the documents so they can get the kids back,
Speaker 3: because I was predicated on their unification with their kids,
Speaker 3: and so started off as doing that. When I got
Speaker 3: my doctor, I transitioned to a psychology expert life coach
Speaker 3: so that my hands wouldn't be tied behind my back
Speaker 3: because when I was a therapist working for a nonprofit
Speaker 3: under a license, the protocol, just with the BBS law,
Speaker 3: and you're very familiar with mental health and therapy, there's
Speaker 3: so many things that you cannot do based on ethics
Speaker 3: and law that, in my opinion, it the gates and
Speaker 3: it really takes away from the real therapeutic experience. So,
Speaker 3: for example, I had a young lady come in and
Speaker 3: she had experienced sexual abuse. Her mother was allowing men
Speaker 3: to pay her to have sex with her daughter at thirteen,
Speaker 3: from age all the way from age eight to sixteen.
Speaker 3: The last time the guy came in, he put her
Speaker 3: on the burners and the stove burners and had his
Speaker 3: way with her. For that young lady, thank god, that
Speaker 3: was the last straw for her. So she ends up
Speaker 3: in my office and we're talking and she's telling me
Speaker 3: her story and I'm starting to become triggered because it's
Speaker 3: trigger and my sexual abuse passed and so long story short,
Speaker 3: after one of our sessions, I get up and she's
Speaker 3: in tears and she's telling her story and I go
Speaker 3: to huger and she's like, no, no, no, you know,
Speaker 3: don't touch me because that's not something that she's in
Speaker 3: a place to handle at that time. No problem. Eight
Speaker 3: months go by, she's like she has to then be
Speaker 3: transferred out. She's like, all right, you know I wasn't
Speaker 3: doctor Brian and I was Chyenne. She's like, miss Chyenne,
Speaker 3: thank you for everything. I'm like okay, and she goes, oh,
Speaker 3: by the way, I'm ready for that. Hug everything in me,
Speaker 3: everything in me. Dj Vy was just like everything.
Speaker 6: Was just like yeah.
Speaker 3: And so not only did I hug her, but I
Speaker 3: think I broke through the BBS laws because I hugged
Speaker 3: that poor baby. I kissed all over her. But you're
Speaker 3: not supposed to do that.
Speaker 1: You're still human now, but you're still human.
Speaker 3: And so my specialty then was marriage, FAMIN and child therapy.
Speaker 3: So that is my foundation. So now that I am
Speaker 3: a psychologist for life coach, I can't get rid of
Speaker 3: that because that's my foundation. I do psyched on MCBT,
Speaker 3: but I couple it, which is my hybrid approach, with coaching.
Speaker 3: So it's therapy and coaching, which is hybrid. And I
Speaker 3: say this without humility. That's why I'm so effective because
Speaker 3: therapy is telling me more. Let me hear about your trauma,
Speaker 3: your daddy issues to mom issues. Why are you who
Speaker 3: you are? And then once you're finished dealing with that
Speaker 3: and you process that. Okay, DJ MVY, what the hell
Speaker 3: you going from there?
Speaker 2: I do have one of the questions when it comes
Speaker 2: to the therapy aspect. I'm sure the world has been
Speaker 2: watching the mend This Brothers, right, and I had a question. Right,
Speaker 2: So the Amanda's brothers, if you don't know, they confess
Speaker 2: their crime to their therapist, and they believed that the
Speaker 2: therapists could not tell police officers because it was I guess,
Speaker 2: patient client privilege, but they did. So does that mean
Speaker 2: anything that I tell a therapist or that anybody tells
Speaker 2: a therapist can and can possibly be used against them
Speaker 2: in the court of law.
Speaker 3: One hundred percent. So a therapist is only under confidential
Speaker 3: oath unless you are threatened to kill yourself and someone else.
Speaker 3: And it can't just be a threat, it has to
Speaker 3: be you have you actually have like an action plan
Speaker 3: to do so, right. You can't just come to me
Speaker 3: and say, hey, Doc, look you know I want to
Speaker 3: kill myself. I will help you process through that and
Speaker 3: hopefully talk you off the ledge. But if you say
Speaker 3: I got a plan. At nine pm, I'm leaving the house,
Speaker 3: I'm going to do X, Y and Z to my wife.
Speaker 3: Then I have a duty to report. If I'm subpoenaed
Speaker 3: to court, I have to speak on that.
Speaker 7: Now.
Speaker 2: If I did a crime and I'm talking to you
Speaker 2: about the crime because it's eating me up, you're not
Speaker 2: supposed to tell law enforcem it's if I already killed
Speaker 2: somebody already did the crime already, even.
Speaker 3: If it's a murder, only unless that they're that that's it.
Speaker 3: When it comes to subpoena in the court and the
Speaker 3: justice system, their law oversees everything. It just does. When
Speaker 3: it comes to your confidentiality as client privilege, there's nothing
Speaker 3: that I can.
Speaker 4: Say out even can you reach out to the court
Speaker 4: and say, subpoena me, I need to be SENA.
Speaker 3: Would never do that, just because I believe in following
Speaker 3: the oath of and maybe I just love and respect
Speaker 3: my clients too much. But if you came to me
Speaker 3: and said something, I'm just not And I know this
Speaker 3: is smaller than murder, but I've had married couples who
Speaker 3: come separately and together and the husband is just lighting
Speaker 3: it up in his individual sessions, like I'm cheating. I'm
Speaker 3: intimate with this person and that person is family members
Speaker 3: is this, and I'm and I'm having to just make
Speaker 3: sure I process my counter transfers because I'm sitting there
Speaker 3: like damn, and I have her in one hour. In
Speaker 3: one hour. God. Now, of course, if it was like
Speaker 3: my girlfriend, I'd be likeriend, because my best friend couldn't
Speaker 3: be that's that's a confidation. She could never come to
Speaker 3: me as as a psychology experting that. But I then
Speaker 3: I'd be I'd be you know, ripping into in.
Speaker 1: Talk to me from the human perspective, because you still
Speaker 1: you're still a real.
Speaker 4: Stuff like that when you hear a guy come in
Speaker 4: one hour and he doing X, y Z, then the
Speaker 4: woman coming the next hour, what is going through your
Speaker 4: mind about to do?
Speaker 3: Charla, And my clients are watching this. My client's gonna
Speaker 3: be like, that's what you really mean? But you know,
Speaker 3: in my mind, honestly what I try to do, and
Speaker 3: and and and and some of my clients have followed
Speaker 3: this guidance. I have one client now, he's he's married
Speaker 3: and the wife is attempted to divorce him, and she's
Speaker 3: divorcing him because he cheated, but she doesn't have any
Speaker 3: hard facts on him. So I've all I've actually been
Speaker 3: able to process with him. Was, so, you're going to
Speaker 3: be with this woman or not? If you want to
Speaker 3: be with her or you want to be able to
Speaker 3: leave and do better. At some point you got to
Speaker 3: be able to be real with yourself and real with her,
Speaker 3: and you got to be transparent. When do you plan
Speaker 3: on doing that? So he just literally this week or
Speaker 3: last week, because this week he told me doc. I
Speaker 3: sat with her and I told her that has been
Speaker 3: you know a few times that I did cheat. And
Speaker 3: I said, how does she respond? He says, She said,
Speaker 3: now we can have a conversation because now you keeping
Speaker 3: it real. And when I had her in session, I said, listen, triggered, triggered, right, yeah,
Speaker 3: Like you have two options, said, either you know, I can.
Speaker 3: I can if you're willing to learn to love a dog,
Speaker 3: we can start that process because you know, or we
Speaker 3: could start the process of you leaving and starting over.
Speaker 3: And she goes, what do you mean by a dog?
Speaker 3: She said, but he didn't. We've been together for ten years.
Speaker 3: He's never cheated. The first time I said no, no, baby,
Speaker 3: I said, he'd been quiet for ten years. He decided
Speaker 3: to bark, and you're number ten Jesus.
Speaker 5: So you don't think so you don't think that he
Speaker 5: could change in that marriage and not cheat anymore.
Speaker 3: First of all, nobody change, including me. We shift, and
Speaker 3: that changes our life. And when I say we shift,
Speaker 3: we shift out of the things and behaviors that don't
Speaker 3: serve us after we learn they're not working, and then
Speaker 3: we have to learn to manage those. So I am
Speaker 3: very firecrackery. When I was younger, I was very temperamental.
Speaker 3: I was very you know who the fuck you're talking to?
Speaker 3: Real quick? I just because of my trauma, because of things,
Speaker 3: I just had a very protective by all means necessary.
Speaker 3: I'm the Otus of seven, so I was you know,
Speaker 3: I've like this place up? Is that still in me
Speaker 3: after all of my healing? Hell? Yeah? Do I manage it? Absolutely?
Speaker 3: Managing it just means that I'm high function I'm able
Speaker 3: to regulate my emotions right, identify my emotions, don't get
Speaker 3: into my feelings because emotions are healthy. Feelings cause problems,
Speaker 3: and I can just say, okay, identify that I'm angry,
Speaker 3: I'm frustrated, So now let me choose my response. Before
Speaker 3: I was low functioning. Once I felt it, I was
Speaker 3: triggered and everybody here was gonna know and it was gonna.
Speaker 1: Be a problem.
Speaker 3: So does that still come up? Yeah, but do I
Speaker 3: have self talk that says we're not doing that.
Speaker 1: So you don't think people can change.
Speaker 3: You just feel like they manage ourself. Well, we manage
Speaker 3: our self up. So a man who's a womanizer, he
Speaker 3: is always a womanizer. It's just how well can he
Speaker 3: discipline or manage his womanizing appetite, his womanizing actions, his
Speaker 3: womanizing desires? Can he imagine manage his environment? Can he
Speaker 3: be in a room full of women and not womanized
Speaker 3: and not cheat and not step out and not have
Speaker 3: infidelity issues. We like what we like. We are who
Speaker 3: we are.
Speaker 2: So you would never date a man that cheated before
Speaker 2: because you feel like he will always be a cheated
Speaker 2: Is that what you're saying.
Speaker 3: I think that's also circumstantial. So I do believe that
Speaker 3: different relationships bring out different things in us. I was
Speaker 3: also an extreme alpha in my first engagement. I had
Speaker 3: two engagements to called off two weddings. My first relationship
Speaker 3: I was engaged to, I was extreme alpha. So even
Speaker 3: if he tried to be alpha, I left no space.
Speaker 3: It was like hell no by all means necessary, Because
Speaker 3: I said so on you can walk like I'm chasing
Speaker 3: my career. I know my value. I'm not fatherless. I
Speaker 3: got a daddy. He spoils me good day.
Speaker 8: So even in that, do you feel like that he
Speaker 8: wasn't man enough for you? Or like, what was that?
Speaker 8: Do you think that's your fault? Do you look back
Speaker 8: and be like, ugh, I was trying to be the man,
Speaker 8: not trying to be the man.
Speaker 6: But I actually I gave him.
Speaker 8: Because you just said you gave no room for him
Speaker 8: to do it. So do you regret that part of me?
Speaker 3: That's a duality. I think he chose a woman who
Speaker 3: was alpha because it fed something in him that was beta.
Speaker 3: I chose a man who was beta because my alpha
Speaker 3: needed to be inflamed. But my second engagement, he was alpha.
Speaker 3: That's why I say it's circumstantial. But not only was
Speaker 3: he alpha, I was ready. I had these submissive fills
Speaker 3: in me already, So by the time we got in
Speaker 3: a relationship, I was a hybrid. By then I was
Speaker 3: alpha submissive, so I was cooking. He was daddy. I
Speaker 3: was soft. I was in my feminine and the blessing
Speaker 3: of that is I got to experience both, and I
Speaker 3: learned that I fell more in love with myself in
Speaker 3: my softness than he probably did. Like I was doing
Speaker 3: ship where I'm like, oh, that's me, that's me right now,
Speaker 3: even in the bedroom things that I was like, no,
Speaker 3: I'm not. When I was in my office, absolutely not.
Speaker 3: I was like, can we do that thing again? That
Speaker 3: thing I don't look at y'all y'all married? Can we
Speaker 3: do that thing? And that thing? I said, submit, but
Speaker 3: also but right, but also plays a role. But in the.
Speaker 4: Position what you doing, I'm not gonna from When you
Speaker 4: said that, I kept thinking of his story, what it
Speaker 4: was telling me, the story about never mind Gilly the
Speaker 4: King was telling me a story about something that was
Speaker 4: in kim Porter the book, and how did he do that?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 3: I mean something you don't feel answer question that can change.
Speaker 2: Though, Like you know maturity because you know a lot
Speaker 2: of times I because a lot of time I think
Speaker 2: sometimes you're immature and you don't know right. And I
Speaker 2: think you can grow out of things where you are mature,
Speaker 2: not just being a womanizer or being insecure. Some of
Speaker 2: those things you grow out of because you learn differently.
Speaker 2: And some of the things that you follow is because
Speaker 2: of society teaches you other than what you should be
Speaker 2: doing if.
Speaker 3: You're I'm saying so when I was a child, I
Speaker 3: thought as a child. Now that I'm a man, I
Speaker 3: think is as a man, right, That's what the Bible says.
Speaker 3: So do I think that we can mature out of
Speaker 3: things just But maturity takes work, It takes awareness and
Speaker 3: sense of self. So how many of us are really
Speaker 3: getting that? If we're in the same environments, the same relationships,
Speaker 3: are dating different people with the same spirit, So the
Speaker 3: same spirit is going to activate the same things in you.
Speaker 3: You want different, there has to be a different circumstance
Speaker 3: of different activation. I went from a beta to an alpha,
Speaker 3: and I was receptive to being with an alpha. Well,
Speaker 3: that's why I was able to be activated in my
Speaker 3: feminine I wouldn't choose abata now, I'd want an alpha man,
Speaker 3: but I also hold space for an alpha man. You
Speaker 3: couldn't be with a woman who is high functioning and
Speaker 3: be a womanizer. She ain't holding space for you. You can
Speaker 3: pray on a low functioning woman because she holds space
Speaker 3: too much space for a low functioning man who wants
Speaker 3: to prey on her. But if you were to say,
Speaker 3: you know what, I want to shift up my ways,
Speaker 3: you would also have to shift and choose a woman
Speaker 3: who won't tolerate that, because she will hold you accountable
Speaker 3: when you're in a space that don't work for her. Sure,
Speaker 3: does that make sense? So you can't be in the
Speaker 3: same environment.
Speaker 2: But let's say a man is insecure, and he's insecure
Speaker 2: when he's sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, right because he doesn't know
Speaker 2: the world, or a man follows the likeness of, for instance,
Speaker 2: hip hop right because hip hop influence is so much
Speaker 2: of us and a lot of us were.
Speaker 1: Grown from it.
Speaker 2: You know, whether it was what we did, what we
Speaker 2: spoke about, carrying guns, selling drugs, being a womanized, whatever
Speaker 2: that may be.
Speaker 1: Men can change change.
Speaker 4: I feel like I feel like what you're saying is true,
Speaker 4: but I feel like I would say shifts lead to Actually,
Speaker 4: that's what I'm.
Speaker 3: Saying, so right, So I'm not saying, listen, we're not Jesus,
Speaker 3: We're not turning water to one. I've said that on
Speaker 3: the Cam Newton the episode, and I stand by that.
Speaker 3: So you're not gonna change, and you're not gonna switch
Speaker 3: up and tomorrow be a six ' five chocolate mad.
Speaker 2: You don't know what identify.
Speaker 3: Listen, I'm self projected. That's what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 3: But can you shift? Shifts will change you your world.
Speaker 3: You don't change, you shift. So what happens is that
Speaker 3: insecure boy grows up to be a man who shifts
Speaker 3: things in him and his environment changes, and so does
Speaker 3: he feel his insecurity and flame way less? Absolutely? But
Speaker 3: whether there be moments where your little boy arises in
Speaker 3: you because you're triggered, that's life. And when that happens,
Speaker 3: if it's once a year or once every five years,
Speaker 3: you have to have the effective tools to manage that
Speaker 3: little boy or he will sabotage or he will go cheat.
Speaker 3: And that's how you say he ain't cheated in ten years,
Speaker 3: but he barked on your number ten.
Speaker 1: I agree with that wholeheartedly. The way it was worded
Speaker 1: the first time, I was like, I think can change,
Speaker 1: But I get what you said totally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, people can shift and that creates a change, But
Speaker 3: we don't wake up and we're like, we're totally different.
Speaker 8: So the interview with Cam and also I saw that
Speaker 8: you sat down with Nick.
Speaker 6: How did that?
Speaker 8: How did did the firecracker, and you be like, I
Speaker 8: need to sit down with them. How did you get
Speaker 8: them in the room? How did you do those two interviews?
Speaker 8: Did they reach out to you or did you reach
Speaker 8: out to them?
Speaker 3: So Nick reach out to me and said, Doc, what's up?
Speaker 3: Like I want to work through somethings, but I want
Speaker 3: to work through it on camera. And I said, okay,
Speaker 3: no problem, but I'm going to penetrate, so we're not
Speaker 3: doing it petrate.
Speaker 6: Crazy, So he liked penetration.
Speaker 3: Nick always goes, Doc, do you have to use that word.
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, I am. I'm penetrating you at the
Speaker 3: space that obviously it's broken and.
Speaker 7: The men don't change. No twelve year old girl right now?
Speaker 3: Definitely present, definitely.
Speaker 8: So when he says all right, I need to work
Speaker 8: through some things, You're like, okay on camera?
Speaker 6: Does that then in your mind say is this for real?
Speaker 6: For real? Or do you want to appeal to a
Speaker 6: certain market, you know, to a certain audience.
Speaker 8: You know what I'm saying, because you know, we're in
Speaker 8: the in the times now where everything has to be
Speaker 8: recorded or didn't happen or you know, that's just how
Speaker 8: people look or how people feel. But what does that
Speaker 8: make it a little phony to you? So, because I
Speaker 8: couldn't find another word.
Speaker 3: Other than but great observation, I didn't look at it
Speaker 3: like that because I look at it like I have
Speaker 3: a job to do and a purpose to serve. So
Speaker 3: whether we have one camera or ten, you're gonna get
Speaker 3: this work. And so they may have done it, and
Speaker 3: I'm not saying they did. They may have done it
Speaker 3: from an entertainment perspective, but as we see, more than
Speaker 3: entertainment came out of it. Because your intention will always
Speaker 3: be what ends up being the end result for you.
Speaker 3: And so my intent was to use Nick's situation and
Speaker 3: shift a whole culture of black men saying what Cam,
Speaker 3: and it happened. There were a lot of naysayers, but
Speaker 3: a lot of black men were actually in there creating
Speaker 3: the vironus and saying, listen, Doc is right, we need
Speaker 3: to create more husbands and less baby daddies. Black men
Speaker 3: were like, I'm twenty six, I got three kids by
Speaker 3: three different women, and She's right, this ain't it, man.
Speaker 3: We got to do different. That was my intent, and
Speaker 3: my intent is what manifested. So and Nick as well.
Speaker 3: Kim was resistant, but Cam had to answered a lot
Speaker 3: of questions in his household, Cam had a lot of stuff.
Speaker 3: He had a lot of different conversations he had to
Speaker 3: have with that woman whether she wants to come out
Speaker 3: on social media and where the mask she's been wearing,
Speaker 3: that mask is off at home. Cam had to answer
Speaker 3: questions that created a lot of conflict. Conflict is needed
Speaker 3: for a resolve and for shift and change, and so, yeah,
Speaker 3: entertainment or not. I wanted to make sure that what
Speaker 3: happened happened, that the conversation is now being had everywhere
Speaker 3: that it is time for our community to do things differently.
Speaker 3: And if you have already created broken houses and homes,
Speaker 3: you're not doomed, but you need to stop. It's a
Speaker 3: time to stop, like we're not here to create broken houses.
Speaker 3: And now yourself, you're projecting your daddy issues and mommy
Speaker 3: issues as a man onto an entire generation that has
Speaker 3: to now grow up to figure out what the hell
Speaker 3: is the root of their issue and how do they
Speaker 3: not sabotage and how do they do this thing differently?
Speaker 1: Yeah, caa.
Speaker 4: Cam said that you know it affected his relationship with
Speaker 4: his first two baby moms and his current situation.
Speaker 1: You feel that no, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Because I'm here to interrupt that pattern. No. Yeah, like
Speaker 3: the ship should have been interrupted a long time. A
Speaker 3: lot of you know Cam and you come from, and
Speaker 3: not that this breeds you know, good decision making people.
Speaker 3: But Cam comes from he's a pastor's child. He comes
Speaker 3: from two parents that are still married and they're still
Speaker 3: very their pastors, very much involved with the church that
Speaker 3: goes to show you, like the Bible said, it was
Speaker 3: good for me that I was afflicted because you got
Speaker 3: people who come from brokenness. This is why I said,
Speaker 3: these kids are not doomed who make different decisions because
Speaker 3: it's not about where a lot of times it's not
Speaker 3: where you go and that gets you where you're going.
Speaker 3: It's where you trying to get the hell away from.
Speaker 3: And a lot of times parents. Yeah, like I was
Speaker 3: telling ray J a this, ray J is my client
Speaker 3: as well Jesus, And I was telling ray I said, ray,
Speaker 3: I love your parents, but they showed you everything to
Speaker 3: do right, they didn't show you what not to do.
Speaker 3: And see, for me, I had a circumstances an environment
Speaker 3: that showed me everything not to do. So sometimes knowing
Speaker 3: what not to do saves you from doing the wrong shit.
Speaker 3: It's not about having a perfect household. It's about having
Speaker 3: a blended, balanced household that says, listen, this is what
Speaker 3: you can do to get you this, this is what
Speaker 3: you you shouldn't do. And when you come from a
Speaker 3: lot of pastor kids and these these folks who come
Speaker 3: in from these really perfect households are perfect marriages that
Speaker 3: have a lot of infidelity, a lot of brokenness in them,
Speaker 3: these folks, these kids learn how to master the life
Speaker 3: as well, and they learn how to overcompensate for what
Speaker 3: they're missing in broken houses, in womanizing or mannizing ways,
Speaker 3: and that becomes an issue and then they just becomes
Speaker 3: a dysfunctional pattern where they keep creating this. They get
Speaker 3: comfortable and dysfunction and say I'm thriving here. No you're not.
Speaker 3: You've learned to survive and you're teaching everybody else who
Speaker 3: you are, you know, creating or pro creating how to survive.
Speaker 8: I was just going to ask, how do you deal
Speaker 8: with your other clients if you have raj.
Speaker 3: I do Oh yeah, I have that. I have vice counsel.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah. I have a nice group, a nice
Speaker 3: really healthy ecosystem. People who are in you know, counselors
Speaker 3: and coaches and who are not do that? I use them?
Speaker 5: Does this like so like with the camp situation, is
Speaker 5: in there like a follow up conversation with him and
Speaker 5: like he wants to work through more stuff now off
Speaker 5: camera because like it, I'm sure it triggered a lot
Speaker 5: for him as well too when those additional conversations had
Speaker 5: to happen, or like is he gonna be like what
Speaker 5: happens after that? We see it in real we see
Speaker 5: it on the internet and it goes crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the baby.
Speaker 7: Mom's a girlfriend. All the fall out.
Speaker 5: There's been recent fallout too with him talking about her
Speaker 5: Jazz not being the only woman that he slept with
Speaker 5: in a relationship, and so there's things coming out. Now
Speaker 5: does he hit you up and say, hey, I want
Speaker 5: to do some more work. I wanna have a conversation
Speaker 5: or he's like nah.
Speaker 3: He's he hasn't hit me up to say yes, but
Speaker 3: he's definitely not like nah, okay, But I who I
Speaker 3: would love to have a conversation with, whether it can
Speaker 3: whether it's on camera or off not, just to more
Speaker 3: support her in whatever she's doing right now or feeling
Speaker 3: or going through. Is Jazz, Yeah, I would love to
Speaker 3: have a conversation with Jazz, even if it's a private session.
Speaker 3: I think that she needs tools on how to be
Speaker 3: in this relationship if she's gonna stay, and if she
Speaker 3: chooses to leave, she needs tools on how to also
Speaker 3: pivot that. And it's not about having a conversation with
Speaker 3: her or having a session with her to get her
Speaker 3: to change her mind. It's about getting her to feel
Speaker 3: supported and showing compassion and then trying to figure out
Speaker 3: where she wants to navigate from here. And see, that's
Speaker 3: the thing, because I don't know if you saw months ago,
Speaker 3: or this may have been before she was pregnant. I
Speaker 3: think I saw this she's happy with or you know,
Speaker 3: with everything that's going on.
Speaker 6: You know how she's okay with that.
Speaker 8: So if she understands and she is willing and she's like, okay,
Speaker 8: I'm all in, I'm abiding by every rule that you have,
Speaker 8: then what the hell are you going to talk to
Speaker 8: her about? You know what I'm saying, like, how can
Speaker 8: cause even as a woman watching that, right, I didn't
Speaker 8: know who she was with yet until it came out
Speaker 8: and then I was like, oh damn, all right, So
Speaker 8: that's how you feel about him, and that's my man's
Speaker 8: and that's my girl. But I'm just like, damn, how
Speaker 8: strong the strongest back that I've ever her.
Speaker 6: I give my head.
Speaker 8: Off to her for dealing with that whole dynamic, But
Speaker 8: what can you say to her that'll change?
Speaker 3: I think it's helping her come to herself. And I
Speaker 3: think that I think that Jazz got herself into something
Speaker 3: that one she didn't understand that she was getting herself into.
Speaker 3: And I think she would love to back paddle if
Speaker 3: she could. But where do you go from here? You
Speaker 3: have a child? A lot of women, especially Black women,
Speaker 3: stay because they don't want to be a product of
Speaker 3: a broken house and they don't want to be a
Speaker 3: single mom who wants to be a statistic who wants
Speaker 3: to be that right. And so for her, I understand
Speaker 3: why she would want to stay to make it work.
Speaker 3: But I also would understand why she wants to leave
Speaker 3: to do it right. And it's not because he has kids.
Speaker 3: It's because this man is not honoring you. He's disrespecting you.
Speaker 3: And he's not only doing it privately, he's doing it publicly.
Speaker 3: He's not even allowing it to be pillow talk.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 3: So it's like, And that's what I mean by the
Speaker 3: epitome of a high valued man in the most low
Speaker 3: functioning functionality you can have, Like you have no respect
Speaker 3: at all for this woman who you not only have
Speaker 3: a child with, but you are in a relationship with.
Speaker 3: You're waiting for God to give you more kids. You
Speaker 3: have a woman at home, You're sleeping with other women
Speaker 3: publicly on your platform for this woman to feel how
Speaker 3: all you're doing is self projecting your brokenness and your
Speaker 3: pain on this woman. In all of these eight kids
Speaker 3: and these three other women, you are pro creating broken houses.
Speaker 3: And let me go further, he also has a broken
Speaker 3: home with her, because a broken house and a broken
Speaker 3: home are two different things, so you have both. A
Speaker 3: broken house is just a single family home. It could
Speaker 3: be one mama, one daddy, or for people who have partners,
Speaker 3: it could be one partner in the house. That means
Speaker 3: just there's one person. A broken home is you got
Speaker 3: a two party households. The home is owen pair. They
Speaker 3: can't even function at a level of healthiness. Cam has both,
Speaker 3: and he knows that, and he's trying to figure out
Speaker 3: how he front backside pedals. But this is the deal.
Speaker 3: You know, and I said this to him jokingly and
Speaker 3: I wasn't pun attended, but it was like I told him,
Speaker 3: I said, I said, Cam, before we didn't even I say, Kim,
Speaker 3: you're about to throw picks this entire interview. It's like
Speaker 3: you did when you was playing. I said, you took
Speaker 3: him to a super Bowl but you couldn't get the ring.
Speaker 3: And he just looked and he said no. But to
Speaker 3: backtrack real quick, Cam reached out to me before the interview.
Speaker 3: But but did I did I catch the picks or not?
Speaker 7: From what I saw, Yeah, the pig's right.
Speaker 3: And so but my point is Cam reached out to
Speaker 3: me because EGO, he seen me and Nick Cannon's interview
Speaker 3: and he said Nick was too soft. Do my interview.
Speaker 3: It's not it's not going to be that same smoke.
Speaker 3: And so I said, sign me up when I'll fly
Speaker 3: out tomorrow. He said, oh, okay, like that. I said,
Speaker 3: hundred percent, I'm ready. And so when it happened, I
Speaker 3: think Cam's edge was to throw me off, yeah, and
Speaker 3: to see if he can challenge you, challenge me and
Speaker 3: more dominate the conversation. My intent was to bring healing
Speaker 3: in awareness and he got that.
Speaker 2: Do you ever tell women to leave when you're dealing
Speaker 2: when you're talking to women on men, do you ever
Speaker 2: tell them to leaveuse? I know a lot of times
Speaker 2: therapists won't tell somebody to leave. And if somebody is
Speaker 2: still in a relationship, whether it's domestic violence, whether it's
Speaker 2: a woman or not as or whether it's something that's negative,
Speaker 2: do you feel like if a woman stays, she's weak.
Speaker 3: I don't think she's weak. I think she has a
Speaker 3: lot of underlining issues that need to be processed, and
Speaker 3: I think she doesn't have awareness of what those are
Speaker 3: and what that relationship is feeding are the underlining issues,
Speaker 3: and she's staying because she needs those to be fed.
Speaker 3: And if she leaves, what's fed? If she doesn't have
Speaker 3: any awareness of her healthiness. See, what we know is
Speaker 3: what feeds us. We all set up feeding stations and
Speaker 3: we go and feed on things that we have awareness of,
Speaker 3: which is a lot of times I trum artists function
Speaker 3: or our survival mechanism. And so I never tell them
Speaker 3: to leave, but I do help them either say this
Speaker 3: is what the work is going to take to stay,
Speaker 3: and this is what it looks like for you to leave.
Speaker 3: What do you want to do.
Speaker 2: So, you don't feel like if a man stays a
Speaker 2: woman stays, they are weak, whether it's whatever their relationship.
Speaker 2: You don't feel that way. You feel like people can
Speaker 2: get through certain things, whether it's domestic violence, whether it's abuse,
Speaker 2: whether it's cheating, whether it's whatever it may be.
Speaker 3: I think that people can get through it if they're
Speaker 3: willing to reinvent. So marriage isn't something that always has
Speaker 3: to be dissolved. Sometimes they can be recreated and reinvented
Speaker 3: if two people are open to that. And I say
Speaker 3: that because you know, I'm not married yet. I look
Speaker 3: forward to being married and being a mother, but I'm
Speaker 3: not divorcing my husband, and so it very well could
Speaker 3: be where, you know, shoot the social media hopefully not
Speaker 3: goes off on dog one day and says, hey, what
Speaker 3: you was preaching? What's up? What you're doing nowfully not,
Speaker 3: but I'm saying that I'm not leaving my husband.
Speaker 1: What do you say?
Speaker 2: What do you say to people that say, you know,
Speaker 2: how do you give advice on marriages and marriage couples
Speaker 2: when you're not married?
Speaker 5: That was?
Speaker 3: What do you say to those people I love that
Speaker 3: I say that I don't want to hear you been
Speaker 3: together fifteen years and miserable thirteen I rather take advice
Speaker 3: from a single woman or man who's happy, thriving, successful,
Speaker 3: meaning in their joy, not just in their monetary value,
Speaker 3: then someone who is miserable in the marriage with a
Speaker 3: side dude and a side check. And you want to
Speaker 3: give me an advice that you give yourself, that you're
Speaker 3: using your failed marriage a pass better a pass a past.
Speaker 3: And what happens is married people like to shun on
Speaker 3: single folks. The Bible also says single people are happy.
Speaker 3: People look that up. It says marriage discipline. No, it
Speaker 3: says marriage take discipline.
Speaker 2: It's a lot of times they say that you reach
Speaker 2: out to older couples that's been married longer because they'll
Speaker 2: tell you how to deal with the marriage than people,
Speaker 2: you know, Like some people say you said the don't
Speaker 2: hang out with your single friends. You talk to married
Speaker 2: couples that's been in that situation.
Speaker 3: And you know why that's true because folks who have
Speaker 3: been married ten, fifty, twenty years, they've been through the trenches,
Speaker 3: so they're not gonna teach you how to be happy.
Speaker 3: We got that single sist, we got that I've had
Speaker 3: that all my life. They're gonna teach you how to
Speaker 3: get through the times when you ain't happy. Y'all married,
Speaker 3: you know that, let's not play this game. You married,
Speaker 3: you know that you got of course, Marri, I think
Speaker 3: marriage is beautiful, it's popping. It's where everybody wants to land.
Speaker 3: Why would you not want a partnership and a companion
Speaker 3: your go to But that shit comes with work. The
Speaker 3: Bible says marriage is for disciplined people discipline. I'm single.
Speaker 3: I don't have to be disciplined. Even though I am,
Speaker 3: I don't have to be in that space.
Speaker 2: You think people get married too early.
Speaker 3: I think people choose the wrong people. I think people
Speaker 3: choose their fairy to ideology. They're not choosing the person. See,
Speaker 3: people are choosing marriage and not a husband. They're choosing
Speaker 3: marriage and not a wife. And so when you're choosing marriage,
Speaker 3: you get the title, you get the looks of it,
Speaker 3: but you're not getting a person. So you're a beautiful
Speaker 3: house who's homeless. You're like the idea of the idea
Speaker 3: did And those are people who are fatherless sometimes motherless,
Speaker 3: who just need something to be a part of. I
Speaker 3: just need this companionship. I want the title. I don't
Speaker 3: feel value. I don't for validated. So because we're married,
Speaker 3: I got somebody who's checking for me. I got somebody
Speaker 3: who can get me to the day. But you got
Speaker 3: to be able to check even in marriage. I was
Speaker 3: engaged for ten years, you know, because I kept calling
Speaker 3: it off, calling it off, and he was like, you
Speaker 3: keep getting these degrees. You keep saying, wait for the
Speaker 3: next degree where you get married, and my time, I
Speaker 3: want to get my doctor. He's like, baby, you done
Speaker 3: got four degrees. Engage. You know. I can't putting it
Speaker 3: off because I knew that that wasn't my person. And
Speaker 3: I ended up leaving. I ended up leaving him, you know,
Speaker 3: unfortunate for him ten years.
Speaker 6: And she said he was a great guy, great guy.
Speaker 3: He was a great guy. He just wasn't my guy, right,
Speaker 3: And so for ten years he thought he was the
Speaker 3: guy along for ten year while let him be great
Speaker 3: with somebody else that would appreciate him and love him.
Speaker 3: I love that question. I love the question. So I'm
Speaker 3: I'm saying for ten years, I knew he wasn't the one.
Speaker 3: When we got about your number five or six, and
Speaker 3: I seen that his work ethic and his ability to
Speaker 3: provide at the level that I wanted our family to
Speaker 3: be at. I knew that he wasn't mine my guy.
Speaker 3: And when I say provide, I'm not talking about like
Speaker 3: he was making six figures and I was like, now
Speaker 3: make millions. I'm saying. His thing was, baby, I'm cool
Speaker 3: with me. You a dog in a one bajem apartment
Speaker 3: and just no work ethic at all. So for the
Speaker 3: first six years, I thought, while I'm out here getting it.
Speaker 3: I have a legal company, you know, I own property.
Speaker 3: I'm only twenty two, I'm getting all these college degrees.
Speaker 3: How can he not be inspired by me? See that's
Speaker 3: that age appropriate young woman. He got potential. Let me stay.
Speaker 3: That's why people should take their time. But when I
Speaker 3: seen your number seven and eight, this guy was the
Speaker 3: same guy who was You know, I hate talking because
Speaker 3: he's such a good guy. I always protect him when
Speaker 3: I talk about him. But where he was lazy and
Speaker 3: he had no work ethic, I had a pivot. I
Speaker 3: had a pivot.
Speaker 2: He didn't work that you wanted because he worked right,
Speaker 2: but he just didn't.
Speaker 7: He was he was comfortable that your ideas were different.
Speaker 3: At some point he just decided to not work at all.
Speaker 7: He just said he had a mixed ape.
Speaker 3: He started off in pharmaceutical cells, a very educated young man,
Speaker 3: went to BYU D One college, did his same, very
Speaker 3: much like the boy next door. Mixed kid, and you know,
Speaker 3: and so it was all really good. Came from a
Speaker 3: really amazing family. Parents still married. I think they're on
Speaker 3: like forty five years.
Speaker 6: You just want more.
Speaker 3: I wanted more. And if he would have said we
Speaker 3: can have more and girl, I would have rolled with him.
Speaker 3: But when he said I don't want anymore and I'm
Speaker 3: cool with this, it goes to your question. Then I
Speaker 3: had to choose what I was choosing. I was choosing
Speaker 3: a man. I wasn't choosing marriage. I didn't grow up
Speaker 3: the little girl that wanted marriage in this white pick offense.
Speaker 3: I wanted just to be honest. I wanted money and
Speaker 3: power to change a trajectory of a community. I wanted
Speaker 3: a platform to be able to shift people so they
Speaker 3: have a better life, so they can take their pain
Speaker 3: like I did and find some peace out of it
Speaker 3: and make peace from the broken pieces. So I never
Speaker 3: grew up thinking. I just And I also had a father.
Speaker 3: I had a daddy who doted on me. I'm a
Speaker 3: product of a street dude. And if anyone knows the
Speaker 3: street dude, the way they love their daughters when they're involved,
Speaker 3: your god, Your God is to them, your princess. I mean,
Speaker 3: I didn't have man problems like that, and so I
Speaker 3: didn't wasn't looking for a man outside to convalidate me.
Speaker 3: So when I get in relationships, till to this day,
Speaker 3: I'm still choosing the man.
Speaker 1: Did he acquire more in the future.
Speaker 3: No, he's still in the same place. So I made
Speaker 3: the right decision.
Speaker 5: What was the conversation that last conversation y'all had when
Speaker 5: you decided to leave him?
Speaker 7: And how did he reacts the.
Speaker 1: Dog?
Speaker 3: No? He he was in tears and I was in tears.
Speaker 3: We were sitting there crying, and he said, he said,
Speaker 3: I knew it. I was a buffer for you. He
Speaker 3: said I was a buffer for you. He said, I
Speaker 3: just knew it. And he said, you're with me because
Speaker 3: you're too insecure to be with who you really want
Speaker 3: to be with a type of guy, not a particular guy,
Speaker 3: but the type of guy. I said, you're right, You're right,
Speaker 3: And as years went on, that was some of the
Speaker 3: best advice that I was able to acquire because I
Speaker 3: was able to work on myself and he was right.
Speaker 3: Because the type of man that I now date, with
Speaker 3: that alpha and this, with that leadership, the space that
Speaker 3: he needs so he can even be with me right
Speaker 3: is a different type of space, a different type of woman.
Speaker 3: So I had to shift, not change shifts a lot
Speaker 3: of things in me that had to do with insecurity,
Speaker 3: because my mom being in her addiction creating abandonment in me.
Speaker 3: I had attachment anxiety. And so when you're you know,
Speaker 3: in order to have a man who's doing well, who's successful,
Speaker 3: and he's in his alpha, the healthy alpha, that man
Speaker 3: is moving and group and he's doing certain things, he
Speaker 3: don't have time for a woman with no damn attachment anxiety.
Speaker 3: Meaning when he's making moves to better this household and
Speaker 3: he's making moves to bear this family. I got to
Speaker 3: be able to be solid and vertical in myself and
Speaker 3: who I am to hold the house down. I can't
Speaker 3: be insecure when he's traveling or doing things or he's
Speaker 3: not right up under me. I had to work through
Speaker 3: that attachment anxiety.
Speaker 4: A couple of questions right, like one, I want to
Speaker 4: know what is your definition of a high value man.
Speaker 1: That's more.
Speaker 4: And then too, what you said about attachment and anxiety.
Speaker 4: Is it okay for the woman to feel insecure if
Speaker 4: she knows this man ain't really out here doing.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's called discernment. Call him out on that, and
Speaker 3: I mean transparency. What's up? I'm feeling some type of way.
Speaker 3: What's going on? What are you doing? I'm feeling this way.
Speaker 3: And I just think two respectful people who are choosing
Speaker 3: each other and not just the relationship, are going to
Speaker 3: have those conversations. And that's what those older couples who've
Speaker 3: been married twenty thirty years is teaching you. How you
Speaker 3: have those conversations? And Baby, when your man tell you
Speaker 3: he out here turning corners, he not really turning bills,
Speaker 3: how do you stick through that? How do you stay
Speaker 3: without losing your dignity? How do you still be to
Speaker 3: submit to this man, cooking and cleaning and having sex,
Speaker 3: making love to this man without being disgusted at the
Speaker 3: fact that he's either stepped out emotionally, physically or mentally.
Speaker 3: How do you keep that? How do you keep going?
Speaker 7: I was gonna act, that was gonna be That's.
Speaker 3: What the older folks say. They don't tell you how
Speaker 3: to be happy and be They telling you how to
Speaker 3: roll through and stick through some ship. That's what they're
Speaker 3: teaching you.
Speaker 8: Well, my grandfather was like, lead that bitch, yeah, because
Speaker 8: he that's how I be like back.
Speaker 6: In the day that he was still with, you know,
Speaker 6: my grandmother.
Speaker 8: But he just still was just like, man, like leave
Speaker 8: that bitch now, because I would have left this bitch
Speaker 8: back in the.
Speaker 3: Day, Grandpa, because I've been leaving. But now now I
Speaker 3: say I'm in my choosing stage and I'm really looking
Speaker 3: forward to staying. But it will be my first time
Speaker 3: utilizing a lot of my new tools. Not new meaning
Speaker 3: a year ago, but you knew because I've been seeing
Speaker 3: six years of this attachment anxiety how to work through
Speaker 3: of what that looks like. So there's gonna be things
Speaker 3: in me that are new that inflame and trigger that.
Speaker 3: I'm going to have to have a hell of a
Speaker 3: man who's mature enough, emostly intelligent enough to sit through
Speaker 3: certain conversations with me that are going to be transparent.
Speaker 4: So what is a high value because I heard you
Speaker 4: reference cam is a high value man with a.
Speaker 1: Low value I guess just a low vibrational fund.
Speaker 4: So what is your definition of the high value because
Speaker 4: to me, it just sounds like high value to you
Speaker 4: is like superficial stuff.
Speaker 3: High value just means that you're, yeah, it's pretty much
Speaker 3: like you're you're making a lot of money, you have
Speaker 3: a lot of tangible things, your high value value, your
Speaker 3: value is high, and your monetary value values high. Meaning
Speaker 3: you know, you got a man who's making one hundred
Speaker 3: million dollars, then he's high value in women who are superficial.
Speaker 3: But I'm not knocking y'all say it's okay, are very
Speaker 3: attracted to that, But again, are they choosing the man
Speaker 3: or are they choosing the value?
Speaker 6: The value?
Speaker 1: But some people are so poor all they got is money,
Speaker 1: and so you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: And that goes to where this is going to be
Speaker 3: a very very unpopular opinion or very popular, but it's
Speaker 3: going to cause a lot of controversy. I always say,
Speaker 3: if you realize the most prettiest beautiful woman, many of
Speaker 3: them men have put a baby in him, but they't
Speaker 3: made a wife out of him. And I go to
Speaker 3: the high value men have put babies in him, but
Speaker 3: ain't made a wife out of him. Because those women
Speaker 3: are choosing the value in them, and those men are
Speaker 3: choosing the low functionality in her, So that's a matchmade
Speaker 3: in heaven for them. Even though the fairytale ends at
Speaker 3: some point and everybody goes back to the drawing board
Speaker 3: and comes into my session and says, because I can
Speaker 3: now theset, I can now might have some very very
Speaker 3: ales celebrity women who come in and say, I'm beautiful,
Speaker 3: I'm successful, I can have any man I want. I'm
Speaker 3: lonely as hell, and I'm afraid that I'm gonna die alone.
Speaker 3: But you have a child, You've been married to this
Speaker 3: a list big NBA player, and the relationship is now over,
Speaker 3: and you feel like you're going to be alone because
Speaker 3: you never learned to choose anything of substance, so you
Speaker 3: will hollow the whole time. So you're not afraid of
Speaker 3: being alone physically, you're afraid of being alone emotionally because
Speaker 3: you've been alone this whole time. So you don't even
Speaker 3: have a relationship with yourself. So who you really don't
Speaker 3: want to be with is you?
Speaker 1: So why should we call alone?
Speaker 3: It's about being with you?
Speaker 1: So why should we call those brothers high value?
Speaker 3: Then? Because value based on how I define it it's
Speaker 3: just money. Like I'm a high out you to woman. Right,
Speaker 3: I have a MultiMate dollar home. I come from the hood.
Speaker 3: I want from the hood to the heills. But I've
Speaker 3: accumulated a lot of value. Right. I drive luxury cars.
Speaker 3: I have a certain lifestyle. But I would be low
Speaker 3: functioning if I pray it on men that I know
Speaker 3: I can use. If I pray it on men that
Speaker 3: I know, I can say, eat, sleep and put me
Speaker 3: and shut up while I go run a monk. Be
Speaker 3: in your beta. Because I said so, that's low functioning
Speaker 3: of me. High value and high functioning would be. Now,
Speaker 3: I want a man who can stand on he got
Speaker 3: he's vertical because every human being is a hybrid. We're
Speaker 3: all high functioning and low functioning. So there's gonna be
Speaker 3: moments while I get in my low functioning, and if
Speaker 3: I get in my low functioning and I start to
Speaker 3: say things that are emasculating to you, I don't want
Speaker 3: a low functioning man. I want you to say, baby,
Speaker 3: I don't talk to you like that, and I don't
Speaker 3: like when you talk to me like that. I'm not
Speaker 3: gonna leave you, but we gotta work on this because
Speaker 3: I'm not some nothing else, nigga. If you know and
Speaker 3: I love you and I respect you, so let's work
Speaker 3: through this.
Speaker 4: Well, if you got a high value man, he got
Speaker 4: all the money, he might even be an alpha with
Speaker 4: a big little and he trash in bad So then
Speaker 4: what because henderstand?
Speaker 1: Because you can't.
Speaker 7: Because you ain't gonna let him talk to.
Speaker 3: You in your kind of ways.
Speaker 1: You ain't gonna let him talk you in your kind
Speaker 1: of way. That's what I'm saying. You can be the
Speaker 1: output at let.
Speaker 7: Him talk to you any kind of way.
Speaker 8: That mouth go crazy.
Speaker 3: If I had to choose between a little pito okay
Speaker 3: in my Spanish speaking language, little pet the little pens
Speaker 3: and a family hell of a good man, take give
Speaker 3: me the little dick and a good man. Because remember,
Speaker 3: I'm choosing the man. I'm not choosing these these ornaments.
Speaker 3: And I know and I'm this is the thing. Men
Speaker 3: don't understand this. A woman just needs a big dick
Speaker 3: when you don't know how to truly love and connect
Speaker 3: with you. Once we love you and connect with you,
Speaker 3: we love, and we when we love, we love, especially
Speaker 3: black women. When we love, we love, we're figuring out
Speaker 3: how to work with that little thing. You got wet
Speaker 3: like we when we love you, we love you and
Speaker 3: we figure out how to make it do what to do?
Speaker 3: You got women who are with men who got little
Speaker 3: penises and pay noobile because she love him. Now that's
Speaker 3: not DOC approved. But that's not DOC approved. But so
Speaker 3: for me, I don't want I'm not manifesting God the
Speaker 3: little Pizzo type thing. But I'm saying, you know, if
Speaker 3: it yeah, and this is this is probably gonna be
Speaker 3: tm I. But I always joke about with my best
Speaker 3: friend Lola, and my assistant always say, girl, I'm not
Speaker 3: the woman who needs a big old penis me either.
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, Jeff, but I said, why does God
Speaker 3: always send me the mee go ahead?
Speaker 7: That's right, and that got to be inclusive.
Speaker 2: But I want to I want to ask you about
Speaker 2: some some internet rumors that I see. You know, Corey
Speaker 2: Holmes said some some things about you, about not having
Speaker 2: your degree and where you started off all as a
Speaker 2: I guess working in the strip club is any of
Speaker 2: that stuff? So you're not a real doctor, he said, yeah,
Speaker 2: you're not a real doctor.
Speaker 3: No. So I have four degrees, three are in psychology,
Speaker 3: ones and Pan African studies. My doctor degree is in
Speaker 3: counsel psychology. My master's the Marriage I my Child Therapy.
Speaker 3: All degrees are in psychology. Where this Corey Holkoing thing
Speaker 3: comes from is we did. I was on a show
Speaker 3: ten years ago when I actually I think it was
Speaker 3: before I even had my doctor degree. And Corey is
Speaker 3: used to being able to be very disrespectful to women
Speaker 3: and doing things. He was a guest on the show.
Speaker 3: I was co hosted. He was a guest, and I
Speaker 3: drill dis asked to be honest, it's on YouTube, people,
Speaker 3: could you know look at it? And I cut into
Speaker 3: him and I said, you seem like you are inferior
Speaker 3: to white man, and you seem like you got daddy issues,
Speaker 3: and you seem like you got mommy issues, and you
Speaker 3: got kids that don't even talk to you or respect you,
Speaker 3: they don't like you. It tell us a lot about
Speaker 3: your character. This was ten years ago, okay, And obviously
Speaker 3: he's still in his feminine because he's still holding a
Speaker 3: grudge over it. You know, this is like interviews are interviews?
Speaker 3: Are you saying you're doing? And you move on to
Speaker 3: the next And so was very upset and I feel
Speaker 3: like that in that space he was y'all could watch it.
Speaker 3: He was done found it like usually he comes back
Speaker 3: with the you know, fu b or he has something
Speaker 3: to say. Ory's you know, he got a mouth. He
Speaker 3: was really just like, you know, a deer with headlights.
Speaker 3: He was just like, oh my god. The interviewer, the
Speaker 3: person's podcast was on. Everybody else is in there was like,
Speaker 3: We've never seen Corey be this quiet. We've never seen
Speaker 3: anybody be able to respectfully check him in this way.
Speaker 3: After we were done with the interview, we went to
Speaker 3: take a big picture on the backsplash and I would
Speaker 3: walk up toward him. You know my personality, I'm very playful.
Speaker 3: I walked up and I'm like, let's take a picture.
Speaker 3: He wanted to fail in the picture. Ten years later.
Speaker 3: I think he looked at it with his fail comedian
Speaker 3: career because he's been attempting his career for about forty
Speaker 3: five or so years. With the sale comedian career, his
Speaker 3: failed marriage. And I'm not saying this to be mean,
Speaker 3: y'all can just research it his true and his fel
Speaker 3: parenting skills with his kids because none of those people
Speaker 3: deal with him. Yeah, I think he looked at it
Speaker 3: like there's I get to kill two birds of one stone,
Speaker 3: which was smart. I get to humiliate her back in
Speaker 3: some kind of way, which it didn't work, and or
Speaker 3: I get to ride on her back because she's going viral.
Speaker 3: I don't have a career. I do. He doesn't have
Speaker 3: a career.
Speaker 1: So you guys, you a comedy career.
Speaker 4: He does stand up me just stays in fifty one
Speaker 4: fifty other big podcast and he does stand up.
Speaker 3: Well, what do you know yet? What? Thank you? We're back.
Speaker 3: She got a good career, but it knows to be back.
Speaker 3: So the point is I think that he did. And
Speaker 3: at this part I'm not knocking in for he did
Speaker 3: what any to meet career oriented business person was supposed
Speaker 3: to do. I see an opportunity, let me take it,
Speaker 3: let me create a narrative. But what happened was all
Speaker 3: it did was bring more tation to damned doctor Bryant.
Speaker 3: So all people did was research me more, which is
Speaker 3: what I wanted them to do. All people did was
Speaker 3: find out for themselves. She is a real doctor. She
Speaker 3: has these degrees. She's been doing this for a long time.
Speaker 3: This woman started off from teen Mom A Family Reunion,
Speaker 3: which we were the biggest show on MTV. She not
Speaker 3: only was the camera life coach doctor for that show,
Speaker 3: she co produced it and developed the show. So what
Speaker 3: happened was he brought attention to where people were able
Speaker 3: to go in and do what I want them to do,
Speaker 3: which is research more of me, get more background on me,
Speaker 3: and say hey, let me make my own opinion about her.
Speaker 3: And again, you know, as my really good friend Shaquillo O,
Speaker 3: and Neil says, which is one of my you know,
Speaker 3: we've become pretty much like best friends. Now. He's like Doc,
Speaker 3: He's like, you know, he says as I hate when
Speaker 3: he says it, but I love it. He goes, Doc,
Speaker 3: trust from babies, don't give attention to the ones who
Speaker 3: have nothing, he goes, So let the good and bad
Speaker 3: attention do what it does for you. Let it do
Speaker 3: what it does. And I'm not a trust from baby.
Speaker 3: But what Shaqa is saying is when you hear and
Speaker 3: they hear, all it does is magnify you. Right, the
Speaker 3: small dog has to stay in the small dog park.
Speaker 3: They're just not allowing the big dog park. The big
Speaker 3: dogs can go to the small dog park and we
Speaker 3: dominate either way.
Speaker 1: Would you have a compisation recording now like you going
Speaker 1: fifty on fifty or have them on truth Talk.
Speaker 3: I would not only because Corey's and I'm only talking
Speaker 3: about this on here because when I did Nick and
Speaker 3: other interviews and other other places I've interviewed with who
Speaker 3: are also, you know, as big as Breafast Club? Well,
Speaker 3: who's bigger than Breakfast Club? Though, y'all got it? But
Speaker 3: I also told them I said, I'm not I'm not
Speaker 3: going to address him period. I don't want to bring
Speaker 3: any attention to him or give him the fume that
Speaker 3: he needs, because, again, Charlottete, I hear what you're saying.
Speaker 3: But he has a total failed career, a total felt,
Speaker 3: total fail career as a comedian. Is he funny? There
Speaker 3: are some things he says, yes, that are funny. Has
Speaker 3: he made it to any place past a podcast of
Speaker 3: a group of men who agree with just a rhetoric
Speaker 3: that's just a very negative, distorted narrative of black people
Speaker 3: in general, especially woman. Kevin Samuels spent only two years
Speaker 3: doing what Corey does and had a better career than Corey.
Speaker 3: Corey been doing it for forty fifty years. He was
Speaker 3: at improv in LA and can't even get a job there.
Speaker 3: So that doesn't go to his comedic abilities. That goes
Speaker 3: to his lack of character. Nobody wanting to work with you.
Speaker 3: You have gifts and you have professionalism. You gotta have
Speaker 3: both to make it.
Speaker 8: Corey is just a broken person, period, and I do
Speaker 8: feel like you'll need help.
Speaker 6: He needs help.
Speaker 3: Coreys off camera. If Corey came and said, doc, let's
Speaker 3: do off camera sessions, if he wants to do it
Speaker 3: on camera, because it's just going to be a rhetoric,
Speaker 3: I'm not doing that to help his career. I will
Speaker 3: help him as a man, but I'm not here to
Speaker 3: help him in his career. That's his job. I'm not
Speaker 3: here to carry a man that ain't minds or float
Speaker 3: a man that ain't mind, but to help you with
Speaker 3: your mental health or help you as a person. He's
Speaker 3: an alcoholic, he drinks a lot. You know, he's he's
Speaker 3: over compensating. Those areas, those are places he needs help with.
Speaker 3: Did you guys see what he looked like on Cam
Speaker 3: Newton interview. I'm not talking about looks many attractiveness. Do
Speaker 3: you see how unwell hygienically clean he looks? And say, no,
Speaker 3: this ties into mental health.
Speaker 1: You know that.
Speaker 3: But health. Right, you run you ran up actually an
Speaker 3: amazing organized mental wealth experts.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: It will think I was so honored and privileged to
Speaker 3: be that. It was an amazing But I want to
Speaker 3: say thank you that we know that keeping up your
Speaker 3: hygiene is one of the number one symptoms to depression.
Speaker 3: The number one way you're able to see that somebody's
Speaker 3: depressed or in their addiction or over compensating and addicted
Speaker 3: behaviors is how they keep themself up. That's how parents
Speaker 3: could look at their kids and be like, you're not bathing,
Speaker 3: your hygiene is not up to par. What's going on?
Speaker 3: That man's hygiene was on negative two hundred. What I'm
Speaker 3: saying is he needs deeper help than me coming on
Speaker 3: fifty one fifty to bring him a bigger audience. He
Speaker 3: can sal to fifty one fifty, but he needs to
Speaker 3: be able to fifty one fifty himself and get the
Speaker 3: help that he needs.
Speaker 1: Lord doctor was talking.
Speaker 4: You were talking earlier about growing up in the wrong
Speaker 4: and vib and you learn what not to do. And
Speaker 4: I think that is difficult for a lot of parents,
Speaker 4: right because, like I always say, my father raised me
Speaker 4: out of fear and not love. Because he didn't want
Speaker 4: me to make the same mistakes that he may growing
Speaker 4: up in the same environment. Right, So what would you
Speaker 4: say to you know, parents who are who are navigating that,
Speaker 4: like who have kids? You know y'all are they're in
Speaker 4: the same environment that you grew up in and you
Speaker 4: want them to get out of it, but you weren't
Speaker 4: even able to navigate.
Speaker 1: Through it yourself.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that again, seeking wise counsel. I think
Speaker 3: that therapy coaching should be a lifestyle. It shouldn't be
Speaker 3: something that someone does for preventitive or intervention measures. And
Speaker 3: I think that parents need to just be one hundred
Speaker 3: and transparent with their kids. I think they need to say, listen,
Speaker 3: this is my first time doing you, raising you, knowing you.
Speaker 3: I've I've never known a fifteen year old you, So
Speaker 3: I don't know what to do here, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean. Let's sit down a dialogue. Can you use
Speaker 3: some of your critical thinking skills? Do you have resources
Speaker 3: at your school? Help? Let me help you. Let's do this.
Speaker 3: I think the transparency of it is what allows kids
Speaker 3: to be vertical on who they are. I think that
Speaker 3: handing them everything, problems solving for them and doing everything
Speaker 3: for them, especially men. It handicaps y'all. So when you
Speaker 3: have to be the head, you now have a mother
Speaker 3: who taught you how to be the neck, and then
Speaker 3: you want to be mad at a woman who comes
Speaker 3: in and she has to be in her alpha, because
Speaker 3: who the hell is going to be the head to
Speaker 3: this thing? So I think it's about transparency. And I
Speaker 3: think parents got to stop having this mommy daddy guilt
Speaker 3: and stop feeling like they have to be this perfect parent.
Speaker 3: I think your kids seeing your vulnerability and your imperfections
Speaker 3: will actually aid them in ways more than them seeing
Speaker 3: your perfection.
Speaker 1: You think kids are too soft.
Speaker 3: I think parents are too soft and kids are too
Speaker 3: soft these days. Yeah, the Bible says an undisciplined child
Speaker 3: is an unloved child. I think kids are feeling unloved
Speaker 3: because they're not being disciplined.
Speaker 1: What is too soft for you? Now?
Speaker 2: And the reason I asked is, like Charlamage said, you know,
Speaker 2: there were certain things. I mean, my kids can't do
Speaker 2: it anyway, but there was certain things that you can
Speaker 2: do and you couldn't do right. And I run the
Speaker 2: household the same way, right. But if you look at
Speaker 2: these kids now, a lot of them are a lot softer,
Speaker 2: a lot weaker, cry faster. You hear depression, you hear
Speaker 2: a lot of triggering words that I don't even think
Speaker 2: that they know what they're saying. They just see it
Speaker 2: because they see it on TV or they heard somebody
Speaker 2: say it online. But also people will say that the
Speaker 2: reason that these kids like that because parents can't par
Speaker 2: in anymore, because if they yell at their child, if
Speaker 2: they pop a child, or if they do anything that
Speaker 2: their parents did to them, accept abuse, they will be
Speaker 2: told on to the school and CPS.
Speaker 3: Will be at their door. So listen, My grandmother whooped
Speaker 3: my ass and I call the police while I was
Speaker 3: down nine. She put one on one and told them
Speaker 3: when they got there, I'll whooped her ass if you
Speaker 3: take me to y'all gonna come home and I'm gonna
Speaker 3: beat her ass again. So whatever you're gonna do, let's
Speaker 3: do it. And I would never take away her discipline.
Speaker 3: That's how I know she Well, you know how, First
Speaker 3: of all, I'm not even a mama. I'm the oldest
Speaker 3: of seven. I got about nahnies of the nephews. Do
Speaker 3: you know how much energy it takes? Well, y'all have
Speaker 3: kids to discipline a child, to watch them to see
Speaker 3: when they're doing right or wrong. The love part is
Speaker 3: the time it takes to even watch to see what
Speaker 3: I'm doing to discipline me. So a lot of parents,
Speaker 3: to me, this gentle parenting is just called lazy parenting.
Speaker 3: That means I'm not in the mood to parents. I
Speaker 3: got things I'm trying to do. I'm trying to figure
Speaker 3: my life out, or I'm a single parent, I'm trying
Speaker 3: to date, or I'm trying to get a sense of self,
Speaker 3: so I don't even have time or energy to deal
Speaker 3: with disciplining.
Speaker 1: You.
Speaker 3: I think that's more of what it's about. And no,
Speaker 3: it does not work. These kids have no guidance. They're
Speaker 3: a very lost generation. I mean, I'm gonna go there.
Speaker 3: You look at the campaign this year. You know, all
Speaker 3: due respect to says Kamala. She threw a concert and
Speaker 3: I like Meg and I like I love Glorilla. She
Speaker 3: threw a concert with Meg and Glorilla, thinking that that
Speaker 3: was going to move an influence our community to vote
Speaker 3: for her. You think that we're that low functioning that
Speaker 3: you cannot talk politics to us and legislation to us
Speaker 3: for us to choose you based on leadership, that we're
Speaker 3: gonna choose you based on who's dropping it like it's
Speaker 3: hot or who's bringing in a concert.
Speaker 1: I agree with that.
Speaker 4: I said that, you know, I would rather just had
Speaker 4: Megan up there talking about women's rights, women's reproductive the
Speaker 4: way card.
Speaker 1: Fantastic and Cardi's are.
Speaker 3: But Cardi been talking politics for YETI would come on
Speaker 3: there with no wig care everywhere and all this she
Speaker 3: fucked up, and then we're running whole bill that she
Speaker 3: could just author and try to pull into legislation. So
Speaker 3: what I'm saying is this, this camp, This whole election
Speaker 3: showed you the level of where our kids are, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, really, but it also showed you it didn't work.
Speaker 3: It didn't work.
Speaker 5: I saw you said too that you're comment on the
Speaker 5: fact that Kamala didn't come out that first night when
Speaker 5: she didn't win, speak to that and speak to the
Speaker 5: common because we were upset about.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, another unpopular opinion. I don't care.
Speaker 6: She proved why the people.
Speaker 3: Men and women who are not ready for a woman
Speaker 3: president are not ready for a women president because society
Speaker 3: and some men, not all, deem women as emotionally unstable
Speaker 3: and unable to regulate our emotions since when you knew
Speaker 3: you weren't winning or weren't in the lead. And these kids,
Speaker 3: these babies, these adults were at a historical black university
Speaker 3: that you went to, Howard waiting hours for you. They
Speaker 3: had volunteered. I'm sure they had to contributed, and they
Speaker 3: probably voted for you and supported you this entire time.
Speaker 3: You couldn't come out and address the people who supported you.
Speaker 3: That's proven to the people who don't believe women could
Speaker 3: lead at that level, that a woman can't regulate her
Speaker 3: emotions enough to come out and take an ail. I
Speaker 3: don't care if she would have came out in tears. Listen,
Speaker 3: I'm sorry we lost, whatever that looks like. And this husband, listen,
Speaker 3: I'll give.
Speaker 4: A little pushback on that because Donald Trump never gave
Speaker 4: a concession speech, nor would he even admit that he lost.
Speaker 3: Listen. And I'm not in support of Donald Trump. But
Speaker 3: Donald Trump didn't need to come out because he never conceded.
Speaker 3: He also stood a tin toe down and said, y'all,
Speaker 3: which I'm not saying I agree with this, y'all rigged it.
Speaker 3: I won. I'm not conceding. He still got the keys.
Speaker 2: To the White House, but he didn't come to his
Speaker 2: people even when they when that night, he never came out.
Speaker 1: And that was when he lost to Jobidy. He never
Speaker 1: came out. That's what I just said.
Speaker 2: But she said he didn't come out. But he didn't
Speaker 2: come out at all to speak to this peace.
Speaker 1: I just said.
Speaker 3: But we're talking about Trump, who runs on being that
Speaker 3: type of person. So his people never expected that. Just
Speaker 3: like when someone says, well, Trump's a racist, he's running
Speaker 3: on that. Trump is talking about getting rid of the
Speaker 3: U I D E. I. He has said that. Kamala
Speaker 3: came out and showed us all this love and support
Speaker 3: after she said I can't do just something for the
Speaker 3: black community. But on the day that I get into office,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna sign my very first bill that's called immigrant reform.
Speaker 3: That's doing something for a group of people. Now I'm
Speaker 3: black in Hispanic, so I ain't got a problem against immigrants.
Speaker 3: But what I'm saying is, if you can't do something
Speaker 3: for one group of people, my love, that's one group
Speaker 3: of people, and let me move for it. But when
Speaker 3: you took the l let me add to that. Not
Speaker 3: only did you not come out, you sent a man
Speaker 3: to come out and address these people. He was fine too.
Speaker 3: You sent a man, isn't he I don't be married,
Speaker 3: but that man was handsome. I sent a man to
Speaker 3: come out and address the people. You didn't even send
Speaker 3: another woman or a black woman. This was a woman's moment,
Speaker 3: and that's what she made it. Black and woman. You
Speaker 3: sent a man to do a woman's job, and in
Speaker 3: my opinion, that all that did was tell the folks
Speaker 3: who said women can't lead, see she sent a man
Speaker 3: out to do it, and then came out the next
Speaker 3: day and said, Okay, I'm gonna have this. That's not leadership.
Speaker 3: To me, leadership is commitment, and commitment is doing what
Speaker 3: you said you would Doe regards of how you feel,
Speaker 3: I don't care how you felt. Kamala, come out and
Speaker 3: address us. Those kids left what they had down. They
Speaker 3: weren't sad just because she lost. They were sad because
Speaker 3: they were looking for who was still their leader, whether
Speaker 3: she lost or not. To come out and address those kids,
Speaker 3: that's wrong. That's just out of pocket. That's not leadership.
Speaker 3: And you got to have a backbone. So I mean,
Speaker 3: either I still supported her, I voted for her, but
Speaker 3: I didn't see the leadership in her from the beginning,
Speaker 3: but I was rooting for her. I wanted sister to
Speaker 3: show different. But when she didn't show up for that,
Speaker 3: I said, this is it. You know, maybe I'll run
Speaker 3: in four years and I'll run black and women, and
Speaker 3: I'll run all these ways. And I'm you know, very
Speaker 3: lovingly criticizing Kamala for and maybe when I win, you know,
Speaker 3: y'all will say, well, of course you came out Doc
Speaker 3: because you won.
Speaker 7: He is married too. I looked it up for you,
Speaker 7: sister personally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, yeah, okay. We grew up in La.
Speaker 3: Everyone and everyone in LA, and that's how you know
Speaker 3: in La we know each other. Yeah, unless she in
Speaker 3: the eighties eighties kids.
Speaker 2: I was gonna ask, when's the last time you apologize
Speaker 2: or last time you were wrong about something?
Speaker 1: You remember?
Speaker 3: Good question? It probably no, probably was, no, It probably
Speaker 3: was to my best friend Lola and my assistant. We
Speaker 3: work so closely together, We're always together. And because I'm
Speaker 3: so comfortable with her, she gets all of my moving
Speaker 3: parts right. So she gets like the really good mes,
Speaker 3: she gets like the Braddy meats, she gets the what
Speaker 3: the fuck are you doing? You're moving too slow? Me
Speaker 3: you know, she gets the thank you me and then
Speaker 3: she gets to like, you know, I'm sorry, you're right
Speaker 3: that was a little brash or you know, so probably
Speaker 3: her to be honest with me, what.
Speaker 7: About to me and that you're dating.
Speaker 5: They never get an apology, I actually though, because you
Speaker 5: are very strong in opinion and stuff like that. And
Speaker 5: I think men think that women that are structured like
Speaker 5: you don't know how to be accountable and don't know
Speaker 5: how to apologize.
Speaker 3: I'm very accountable. I do apologize, and that's why I said,
Speaker 3: I want a man who will say with respect and me.
Speaker 3: He ain't about to just dominate, like shut your ass uptight.
Speaker 3: You know. He can be disrespectful. But I want a
Speaker 3: man who's like, hold on you out of pocket right now,
Speaker 3: you know, like we don't do that. This is not
Speaker 3: what we do. And I like you strong, but this
Speaker 3: is not strong. This is disrespectful, baby. But I want
Speaker 3: him to be able to know how to say it,
Speaker 3: and then I will be like, you know, even if
Speaker 3: it's not in that moment, I can process and be like,
Speaker 3: you know what, you're right, and I do. I will apologize.
Speaker 3: I will come to myself because I have the discipline
Speaker 3: of that self talk of saying stop you know, or
Speaker 3: I will say, listen, you've already apologized, You've done everything
Speaker 3: you could right now. It's not a youth problem. I'm
Speaker 3: still trying to get out of my ego. So just
Speaker 3: give me thirty minutes, because baby, you've apologize like you
Speaker 3: do on your job. And then I come around in
Speaker 3: twenty thirty minutes and I'm like, okay, I'm back and
Speaker 3: I'm sorry too.
Speaker 1: That's awareness, that's acountability.
Speaker 3: And the thing is when you really want peace, and
Speaker 3: that's the thing about being single for so long though.
Speaker 7: I can, yes, you find it, you figure it out,
Speaker 7: you find.
Speaker 3: A piece and enjoy that. When you do get in
Speaker 3: a relationship, you gotta make sense. And when you do
Speaker 3: get a relationship, though, you're really saying, let's deaden this,
Speaker 3: let's deadness argument, because see, I'm so used to being
Speaker 3: happy because it's just me that I just want to
Speaker 3: get to the cuddle part again. I just want to
Speaker 3: get to the happy part again. So what do we
Speaker 3: need to do just to be good? And people who
Speaker 3: are so used to being in relationships with this circle
Speaker 3: dysfunction of argument, they leave that marriage and do the
Speaker 3: same thing.
Speaker 5: Have you ever got afraid that you're going to get
Speaker 5: so used to that piece that you're not gonna want
Speaker 5: to do nothing? Because I tell myself the other time,
Speaker 5: like I'm in such a good state, I don't want
Speaker 5: nothing to bother me.
Speaker 3: But no, because I have been I have been serial
Speaker 3: dating for the six years I've been single. So when
Speaker 3: I say single, it means I haven't been committed but committed.
Speaker 3: But have I had like three months six months relationships
Speaker 3: that went that long season or word exclusive and we're
Speaker 3: committed in that season because I am very into exclusivity.
Speaker 3: I don't like casual sex, and so I will accidentally
Speaker 3: go a year, year and a half celiban because I
Speaker 3: don't like the casualty of sex, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: And so yeah, no, So I'm dating like I mean,
Speaker 3: like I have someone that I spend time with now
Speaker 3: that I will go on dates with. We're not committed,
Speaker 3: So I'm still single, but I'm a woman who I'm
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I'm gonna have a companion around. I love
Speaker 3: companionship and I love a man's energy. That tassostron, that
Speaker 3: alpha energy is recharging for me. And it's not something
Speaker 3: that I would just say like, oh I could do without. No,
Speaker 3: I want it. I love it, and so I keep
Speaker 3: around what I want and when I decide to, I
Speaker 3: would choose that one person to be around for the
Speaker 3: long term.
Speaker 7: Well, when does that decision happen for you?
Speaker 3: Now, I'm in my choosing stage, so it's gonna happen
Speaker 3: now soon. I'm in my choosing stage. But but I'm
Speaker 3: not I'm not desperate, so it's not like again, I'm
Speaker 3: not choosing just a high valued man. I'll even take
Speaker 3: a man who's a little less value, meaning a little
Speaker 3: less income money. But I just love this man. He's
Speaker 3: my person.
Speaker 1: So you would take the bus driver.
Speaker 3: I don't, well, only know because he's away from me
Speaker 3: for too long and he's coming home with money that's
Speaker 3: not worth the value of the time. I'm not getting
Speaker 3: with you.
Speaker 1: What if he's a good man?
Speaker 4: I guess That's why I'm confused about what the high
Speaker 4: value man think, because I'm like, I understand he got
Speaker 4: the bank, but what if he's just got a poor spirit.
Speaker 1: What if he got a poor character. What if he's
Speaker 1: not willing to do the work on him.
Speaker 3: Stuff like That's why I'll take little less value in
Speaker 3: higher functioning, Like I don't want high value, little functioning.
Speaker 3: I'll take a little less value, right because I do
Speaker 3: well on my own. Am I going to take care
Speaker 3: of a man? No? Am I gonna spoil the hell
Speaker 3: out of him? Hell? Yeah, But I'm not gonna take
Speaker 3: care of you. But will I go? Will I take
Speaker 3: you on a trip because you mind's? Yeah? What I
Speaker 3: buy you a brand new car when you come home?
Speaker 3: And this is the lambel you wanted? Hell yet? But
Speaker 3: are you going to be a man who is not
Speaker 3: submitting to me either? Or can't be in your outf
Speaker 3: or you ain't paying no bills, or you're not respecting me,
Speaker 3: you're not coming to support my shows, You're not on
Speaker 3: my speaking towards. No, I'm not doing it with a
Speaker 3: man who's not doing those things. But do I need
Speaker 3: you to just take full car of me? And then
Speaker 3: I still got my hand out? No, I'm submitting to you.
Speaker 3: You're have in house loving. I'm not gonna deny that.
Speaker 3: Whatever I gotta do, I got you. I did that
Speaker 3: in relationships, and that's why the men I've been with
Speaker 3: are the men I've dated also have always wanted to
Speaker 3: marry me because I'm a good woman. I treat them
Speaker 3: that I'm loving, but also because I'm not choosing a
Speaker 3: man just for their value. I want you to have money.
Speaker 3: I want to go to Mauthey's. I want a trip.
Speaker 3: I want you to buy me a Burkin. Not because
Speaker 3: I want a Burken, It's because I want it from you, right,
Speaker 3: And so the Burken or the Louis or whatever the
Speaker 3: hell coming from you is what I plays value in.
Speaker 3: And that's what makes me love the bad That's what
Speaker 3: makes me love the iPhone because you bought the iPhone
Speaker 3: for me. Yeah right, so yeah, yeah, I mean he could. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so I would, and I would regular rather have a
Speaker 3: regular man who isn't in the limelight, who we both
Speaker 3: don't have to straddle this this whole industry thing, and
Speaker 3: he can go run a business or go be a
Speaker 3: corporate guy. He can come to my shows and we
Speaker 3: can go home and have intellectual pillow talk. I can
Speaker 3: go home and put my hair in a in a
Speaker 3: bird's nest and walk around with sweats and a tank
Speaker 3: top and no brawl. He is always so you got
Speaker 3: the show.
Speaker 6: Truth talks.
Speaker 3: I do truth talks before we get out of here.
Speaker 3: Truth talks is my new talk show. It's on Fox.
Speaker 3: It's Monday through Friday.
Speaker 7: Eight To give you a.
Speaker 3: Sometimes the producers are like, Doc, you know, give the
Speaker 3: other co hold time to talk. I'm like, I gotta
Speaker 3: do that, But it's cool. We're pretty much we're a
Speaker 3: global news. We're a CNN that gives you the black voice,
Speaker 3: the black perspective, and we're bringing truth to everything news
Speaker 3: with culture uh twist to it. So we're every night
Speaker 3: eight pm prime Time. Love that follow follow me on Underscore,
Speaker 3: doctor Brian on Instagram social media, or you can go
Speaker 3: to doctor Brian dot com and that's doctor Brian dot
Speaker 3: coeo not dot com. And then I'm on my speaking tour.
Speaker 3: So every weekend I am on the tour with Tonight's Conversation,
Speaker 3: but I'm also on my own speaking tour. So every
Speaker 3: weekend go to my website of my social media, You'll
Speaker 3: see that I'm with Tonight's Conversation for the rest of
Speaker 3: this year, but i also have my own speaking tour
Speaker 3: in Chicago. We got Atlanta, we got l A, we
Speaker 3: got London, we got Canada, we have Iowa. I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm like, y'all are black people Iowa?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 6: That's when I be on my comedy, so like who
Speaker 6: was in Wisconsin?
Speaker 3: Two people in Iowa who are black, whose lives I
Speaker 3: can shift are changed. The doc is on her way
Speaker 3: with the doc is on her way. We're gonna do it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's doctor.
Speaker 1: We appreciate you.
Speaker 3: I am thank you all for having us, but no, Charlotman, seriously,
Speaker 3: thank you for being such an advocate this whole mental health.
Speaker 3: It's not an event you you have a mental health
Speaker 3: movement going on. When I came there, people, I mean
Speaker 3: to see black people, black men with like mental health
Speaker 3: for black people, a black man for mental health and
Speaker 3: mental health is life changed. They had like merch with
Speaker 3: everything mental health black and even though it's for all
Speaker 3: races and our ages, your panelists there were just giving
Speaker 3: incredible information. People were sitting there intrigued, entertained, but more
Speaker 3: than that, people were leaving with gyms that they were
Speaker 3: really like, Yo, this event is powerful, So thank you
Speaker 3: for having that.
Speaker 4: I needed you there, like when you were like top
Speaker 4: of the lism like doctor Brian got to be there.
Speaker 1: So I'm happy that we can make that happen.
Speaker 2: You have.
Speaker 1: Thank It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, Thank you. Wake
Speaker 1: that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club