WEBVTT - Skyline Drive: A Little More Asian Than I Thought 0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:10.400 Warning. 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:16.280 The following episode involves alchemy, treasure hunts, costco deals, palm 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:21.000 reading on babies, and custom T shirts. Sensitive listeners, please 0:00:21.040 --> 0:00:21.560 take care. 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:34.199 Yeah, my parents are very demanding. They're very funny, but 0:00:34.240 --> 0:00:36.520 they are fucking tons of work. Am I l to cuss? 0:00:37.080 --> 0:00:38.080 Yeah? 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:49.120 Okay, good. 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:49.480 For the record. I am not used to hearing any 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:52.480 choice curse. In fact, I'm not really used to seeing 0:00:52.520 --> 0:00:56.080 her in person. I mostly know Any as an animated 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:59.800 character from the show Brain Pop. And I'm not sure 0:00:59.800 --> 0:01:04.640 if no brain pop, but my family certainly does. Let's 0:01:04.680 --> 0:01:06.320 let my younger kid, Ruby explain. 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:11.120 Yeah. So it's like this really cool program where there's 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:15.040 actually a boy named Tom or a girl named Annie. 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:17.440 And there's like this robot named Movie. 0:01:17.720 --> 0:01:18.480 No Movie. 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:19.960 This isn't a gift for you. 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:24.280 I made it for Tasha. Well, you know we're doing 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:25.280 the show about Annie. 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:25.920 Right, really? 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:27.119 Oh that's really cool. 0:01:27.440 --> 0:01:28.680 How would you describe Annie? 0:01:29.040 --> 0:01:33.040 She teaches us a lot about like math and reading 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:36.960 and writing and stuff like that. Her pants are always jeans, 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:40.440 and she is in pigtails and does she have glasses? Yes, 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:45.200 she does classes. She says in one of the episodes 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:49.120 that she is Korean. She's definitely like a very mellow person. 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:52.760 But real life Annie, she's about my age, with nerd 0:01:52.840 --> 0:02:00.200 cheek glasses, a warm smile, chunky jewelry. Yeah, she's It's 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:04.200 definitely funnier and spicier than animated Annie. 0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:08.200 I don't know where my mom picked up Jesus, but 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:11.440 it totally bled into like a lot of the things 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:15.160 that she does in terms of decor. Like you go 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:17.760 to her house and it looks like a Catholic church 0:02:17.880 --> 0:02:21.239 gift shop. Do you need like this many crucifixes? 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:22.720 Can we just have one? 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:28.960 Instead of teaching me or a robot about the word responsibility. 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:33.200 Responsibility is something you should do, chores at home, homework, 0:02:33.600 --> 0:02:34.680 following the rules. 0:02:35.040 --> 0:02:39.280 Today, she's trying to define responsibility for herself. 0:02:39.280 --> 0:02:42.720 I see other friends whose parents are so independent, you know, 0:02:42.760 --> 0:02:44.920 and they're like, they're white. Their parents are doing their 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:47.960 own thing, going on trips, and like my mom literally 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:50.600 asking me to buy stuff on Amazon for them because 0:02:50.600 --> 0:02:51.440 they don't know how to do it. 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:55.120 Annie's brother lives near her parents in California, while she 0:02:55.200 --> 0:02:58.239 lives in New York, but because of her family dynamics, 0:02:58.680 --> 0:03:01.320 the brunt of caring for them falls to her. 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:04.440 I think It's like a dynamic of Korean family is 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:06.800 where the older boy gets to do whatever they want 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:10.320 and the younger girl has to literally do everything. It's 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.239 like classic gender roles. 0:03:12.560 --> 0:03:15.880 And while she hates the gender dynamic, these are still 0:03:15.880 --> 0:03:18.680 her parents. She wants to help them. 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:21.320 It's a pain in my ass, but it's sort of 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:23.360 like time to return the favor. 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:26.959 I guess the responsibility is something you should. 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:30.600 Do, which I think is a pretty classic Asian upbringing 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:32.760 thing too. I'm a little bit more Asian than I 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:35.280 thought it was, I guess, which is kind of annoying. 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:38.440 It's like, ah, and as her mom and dad are 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:43.400 getting older and a little more helpless, Annie is something 0:03:43.480 --> 0:03:46.280 she desperately wants to know who's. 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:50.000 Going to die first, my mom and her dad, because 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:51.840 there's an answer that I want. 0:03:52.720 --> 0:03:59.040 It's so dark. From Kaleidoscope and iHeart Podcasts, I'm Mongish 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:43.080 Articular Welcome the Skyline Drive, Chapter one, an Ideal Boy. 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:45.560 As a kid visiting Hindia, one of the things I 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:49.280 remember were these colorful classroom posters that looked like they 0:04:49.279 --> 0:04:52.799 were pulled from an Indian version of Highlights magazine. Sometimes 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.880 they teach you Hindi. Sometimes they teach you about seasons 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:59.640 or bad behaviors to avoid. But the one I really 0:04:59.680 --> 0:05:00.960 remember was. 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:06.480 Titled an ideal Boy with Good Habits in parenthesis under it. 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:10.320 As I was trying to find the posters online, I 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:13.360 ended up chatting about them with my kid Henry, And 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:16.080 this one says an ideal boy gets up early in 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:19.880 the morning, salutes his parents, goes for a morning walk, 0:05:20.040 --> 0:05:22.480 brushes his teeth, helps others. 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:28.440 He bathes daily praise to God, takes meals in time 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:31.160 like I guess what it means is like he doesn't snack. 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:35.000 I'm not an ideal boy. 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:38.840 You are an ideal boy. So what do you think 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:40.240 about a poster like this? Should we put this up 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:40.960 in your room? 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:45.440 I mean it helped me a lot. Helps you do 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:47.320 what salute my parents? 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:50.920 Of course, the charts and the posters make it all 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:55.600 seem very easy, but as we all know, and Annie 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:58.960 in particular knows, family isn't easy. 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:03.479 I've written two books. One is called Happy Birthday or whatever, 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:06.680 and the other one is shut Up, You're welcome. They're 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:10.160 both books about growing up with my crazy family. 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:13.800 Recently, her mom's fallen ill, which means Annie's been traveling 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:17.160 back and forth more, and while her dad still works, 0:06:17.520 --> 0:06:20.760 he essentially leans on Annie's mother for everything else. 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:23.840 My dad can't even like make toast. He's like, how 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:25.719 does this work. I'm like, it's a machine. You push 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:28.560 the button. Like he can't. It's learned helplessness. 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:31.160 So there are day to day things Annie worries about, 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:35.680 but she's also concerned about the future. One huge hurdle 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:39.600 is figuring out what to do with their collection of 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:40.600 random stuff. 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:44.120 Imagine never having thrown out a pair of shoes from 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:47.880 when you were born. So my parents' garage there's like 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:54.440 suitcases with broken wheels, a credenza, two giant filing cabinets, 0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:58.160 a desk, a sewing table. It's just like shit like that. 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:01.640 Like a vacuum cleaner that's like that avocado green that 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:03.920 was big in the seventies that like definitely doesn't work. 0:07:03.960 --> 0:07:06.640 And my dad has a duct tape it's filled with 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:12.120 black mold and Asian AIA's disease. Since moving here in 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:14.360 the seventies, they've never thrown a single thing out. 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:18.040 In some ways, Annie understands. 0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:20.000 You know, they grew up at the twilight of the 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:24.560 Crane War, so there's very few resources and people were starving, 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:26.440 and I get it, and we want to hold onto everything. 0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:29.200 It's like you save every single fucking thing, like you're 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:30.120 never gonna see it again. 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:35.120 But to Annie, there's something incongruous about how the only 0:07:35.280 --> 0:07:38.360 truly American value that our parents seem to have picked 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:41.000 up over the years was over consumption. 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:45.960 They shop at Costco, which is totally evil. There's only 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:48.160 two people by the way, so like, you don't need 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:51.120 like a twenty pound bag of flour, but you know 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:53.200 it's such a good deal, Annie, Like you got to 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:56.040 buy it. The upbringing of like not having enough and 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:59.200 the americanness of like having too much, both of these 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:01.400 are inhabiting them and me trying to be like, you 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:03.200 don't need any of this stuff. 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:06.160 Annie's dad is a chemist. His job is to take 0:08:06.240 --> 0:08:10.800 objects like old electronics and jonkin estimate how much gold 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:11.320 is in them. 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:15.880 It's like a super weird niche He's basically an alchemist, and. 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:18.520 That's led him to invest in gold. But because Annie's 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:21.880 parents are so disorganized, no one seems to know where 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:22.240 it is. 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:26.360 He just has gold. It's hidden. He told me it's hidden. 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:30.040 I mean it probably in the garage, right, But he 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:33.640 refuses to sell any of it because gold is down. 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:37.040 But it's like, I don't know what he's waiting for, 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:39.960 you know, because the man is old. I would like 0:08:40.040 --> 0:08:42.280 him to sell the gold and actually use that money 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:45.120 to like live his life. 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:47.680 While making this show, I've been thinking a lot about 0:08:47.679 --> 0:08:51.679 what we owe our parents, what they owe us, our 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:55.640 obligations to one another. So I asked my son, Henry, 0:08:56.720 --> 0:09:00.080 have we ever talked about the four stages of Hindu life. 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:02.679 I've not talked about Hindu life at all. 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:08.240 The first stage is called a brahmacharya, and that means 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:11.360 like you're a student, and so it's like when you're 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:13.600 a kid and your student and you're supposed to spend 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:17.160 all your days and study and like really understanding things 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:19.120 so that you have a grasp of knowledge. 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:22.160 I like that idea better. It's as good grades. 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:25.120 That actually brings us to like the second stage of life, 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:28.760 being a householder. So it's like taking care of your kids, 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:31.480 getting a good job, taking care of your parents, like 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:33.160 that type of thing. What do you think about that? 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:34.080 That's a great rule. 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:40.120 I mean you also should like love your family and 0:09:40.600 --> 0:09:45.880 taking care of people is a very important rule in life. 0:09:45.800 --> 0:09:48.840 And then the third stage of life is like, once 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:52.560 you've gotten your kids married and settled and all that stuff, 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:54.800 then you want to retreat from your life. Right, so 0:09:54.840 --> 0:09:57.120 this is when you're older. You want to start getting 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:00.240 rid of your stuff. You want to start volunteering, want 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:05.040 to start going to temples more or ostroums. What do 0:10:05.080 --> 0:10:05.679 you think about that? 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:10.760 It definitely makes sense because after your life has been 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:15.319 like structured, you're gonna want to top it off with 0:10:15.520 --> 0:10:17.960 some icing on the cake and start to relax. 0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:19.520 What's the fourth step? 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:24.440 The fourth step is is really sort of preparing for 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:26.959 death in a way, And so it's spending a lot 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:31.559 of time in prayer and meditation and quiet and forests 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:35.120 and nature and how should we put in Yeah. 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:39.439 Like, after you've done all that, just take a minute 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:43.640 to breathe in that fresh nature air, pray a little 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:46.640 bit so that your afterlife will be nice and healthy. 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:53.240 Sit back, watch your grandchildren play, and have last days 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:55.679 that you have be beatingful. 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:13.280 Chapter two, Starting points. 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:16.560 She said, ooh, you still broke his coat up. 0:11:16.800 --> 0:11:20.920 Not a boy as the fucking man. Just hold out. Yeah, man, 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:22.640 I'm paying homs like I was from the. 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:23.440 Talent bit. 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:28.840 In Vedic astrology, Knowing the minute you're born is key 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:32.880 to understanding your life because the planets and stars, they're 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:35.360 all in constant motion, right, So like the difference of 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:39.800 a single minute can dramatically change your personality, it can 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:43.600 change your career, it can change your love life. All 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:47.640 of your happiness comes down to which specific minute you 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:51.120 were born. Henry, do you know what birth sign you are? 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:53.880 I'm pretty sure I'm a Virgo. 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:58.440 I also asked Ruby, I'm a aries. What does that 0:11:58.480 --> 0:11:58.760 mean to you? 0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:06.240 They tend to be very cheerful and popular and feisty 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:12.319 and tall, which is incorrect for our family because me 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:16.440 and my mom were definitely not tall. But zodiacs are 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:20.079 there to like tell you what this is who you are. 0:12:20.200 --> 0:12:22.640 It's not always who you are, and it's also like 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:27.480 you could listen to it or you don't have to. Yeah, 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:32.760 and I really don't care about all that, because you 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:37.240 define who you are not the day that you were 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:37.800 born on. 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:40.839 Of course, some people put a whole lot more stock 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:44.080 in their star signs than my kids do, and these 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:47.160 days it's become more and more common for wealthy Indian 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:51.400 parents to game their children's life and their horoscopes through 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:55.840 elective C section. They enlisted in astrologer and pick the 0:12:55.960 --> 0:13:01.040 exact sixty second window that an obgyn has to deliver 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:01.760 that baby. 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:04.240 People who just come in and say, Okay, I want 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:07.920 to delivery on this particular date, this particular time, or 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:10.120 this particular hour, so on and so forth. 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:15.280 That's doctor Mccaishkua, a Mumbai based obstetrician. 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:17.720 With my primary focus on delivering babies. 0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:22.839 Doctor Kopa is no ordinary obg yn. When I met him, 0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:27.760 I noticed all these things sparkling from his shelves. I 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:31.240 look around this room and they're like forty different words. 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:33.640 Can you can you tell me a little bit about 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:35.320 just your achievements here? 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:36.000 Oh? 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:39.800 Okay, So I'm a hard core scientific person, but the 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:41.960 patient wants this and we need to know about this. 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:43.640 Yeah, and we need to. 0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:46.920 Learn about this and understand this astrology or But then 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:49.560 I have to not forget about my core competency of 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:50.320 which they are coming here. 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:50.600 Yeah. 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:53.000 So I cannot compromise this on that. 0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:56.600 The awards are this visual reminder to patients that he 0:13:56.760 --> 0:14:00.560 clearly knows what he's doing. Beyond graduating at the top 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:04.120 of his medical class, doctor Goupa has advanced degrees in 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:08.080 psychological counseling and a strategy management degree from one of 0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:12.000 India's top business schools. He has up ethics boards and 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:16.120 shared state boards for doctors. And when politicians in Mumbai 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:19.200 were trying to convince the public to heed warnings about 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:23.520 COVID and go get their shots, it's doctor Gupa they 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:24.520 put up on the podium. 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:26.800 Now, what are these different type of masks. 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:29.160 There are simple masks which are available, which are one 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:31.320 fly or two flying masks which are easily available. 0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:36.000 Anyway, despite all these trophies and bona fides, doctor Guppa 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:39.680 still has to contend with his patient's astrological ambitions. 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:44.320 The turning point k when there was a serious situation 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:46.880 when I came out of the delivery room and I 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:49.440 informed about the delivery and the good news, and the 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:52.720 grandfather of the child was born was more concerned about 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:55.440 the precision of the time and he was asking me 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:57.720 the details and what time the head came out, what 0:14:57.880 --> 0:14:58.760 time the baby cried? 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:00.880 What time did you cut the cord? 0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:04.920 The questions alarmed him, especially because delivering this healthy baby 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:07.240 had taken almost a miracle. 0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:09.280 If you want me to look at and keep track 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:11.520 of all these things, and I should not deliver the woman. 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:13.240 Then I would just be watching the time man. I 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:14.560 would read the time manager. 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:18.280 The situation would have irritated most people, but because doctor 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:21.920 Guppa thinks deeply about patient care, he tried to look 0:15:21.920 --> 0:15:23.000 at it from another angle. 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:27.520 There is a window of one and a half minutes, okay, 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:31.800 after which the things will change. So, whether it is 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:35.520 a constellation, whether it is a joggadias, everything has a 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:36.320 window of time. 0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:41.120 Look, every part of parenting is hard. Bringing a child 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:44.160 into this world as hard. Raising a child as hard. 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:52.000 There are so many responsibilities. Parents constantly worry that they're 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:54.560 not doing enough to advocate for their kids or to 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:58.040 secure their futures. And you see the compromises people make 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:00.560 all the time to give their kids a better life. 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:04.640 And if you really believe in astrology, why wouldn't you 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:07.680 adjust the time of your c section and give your 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:12.960 child a possible advantage. But that drive can lead parents 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:17.080 to some surprising places. As we were sipping coffee and 0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:21.360 talking more about doctor Guppa's background, the doctor offhandedly told 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:23.640 me something that he'd found shocking. 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:25.640 There was not exhibition that this couple had come and 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:26.720 creaking for an abortion. 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:29.680 I knew I'd come here to learn about time births, 0:16:30.600 --> 0:16:33.480 but I had no idea that we'd be discussing terminating 0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:37.880 pregnancies and the role astrology plays in that. According to 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:41.640 doctor Gupta, this couple came in for a consult. They 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:44.880 wanted a family, They wanted to have a child. It's 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:48.640 just they didn't want a child with a bad horoscope. 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:52.320 Doctor Guppa shook his head as he told me the story. 0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:54.920 You know the child is going to get both in 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:57.280 this month and this particular data. I don't want to 0:16:57.280 --> 0:16:58.120 have a child at that time. 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:03.760 I mean, I'm pro choice, but I couldn't fathom the logic, like, 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:06.720 if you legitimately want to bring a child into the world, 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:08.840 a birth sign shouldn't matter. 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:12.760 If somebody tells me to put away all my instincts 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:17.200 and information and knowledge, no I would not. We tried 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:21.520 to accommodate everybody's beliefs without losing our primary focus of 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:22.760 what is the right thing to do. 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:30.080 We finished our coffees and before I let him go, 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:34.320 I asked Doctor gupa one last question about this sonographer 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:38.080 from the Middle East with a peculiar side hustle. This 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:41.040 specialist claims to read the palms of children in utero 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:45.359 and then determines the best moment for their birth. Of course, 0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:48.639 he charges very wealthy families a bomb for that information, 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:51.320 and he refused to speak with me on the record, 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:54.600 so I got doctor Gupta's opinion instead. 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:58.080 I have an extremely costly machine, a sonography machine from 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:00.560 one of the top companies globally, and even with the 0:18:00.560 --> 0:18:02.720 best of the machines, in the best of these, you 0:18:02.760 --> 0:18:05.639 cannot really read the lines on the bomb. 0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:09.000 Most fetuses bawled their hands into fists. He told me, 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:12.160 you almost never see a palm in the womb, so. 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:12.680 It's a myth. 0:18:12.880 --> 0:18:15.400 So that is probably a very smart ass was trying 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:16.480 to make money out of someone. 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:21.359 Re Listening to this tape now makes me think of 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:24.639 Annie and this time in grad school, one of her 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:27.240 friends just kind of grabbed her hand and. 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:30.840 She like, read my palm and she was like, you're 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:32.880 going to die really early, and I'm like, why would 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:33.680 you tell me that? 0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:37.840 And then another friend jumped in the peak and. 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:39.080 She said, yeah, you're going to die early, and I'm like, 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:42.400 why do people tell me this? I was like laughing 0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:45.640 because the lines of my weird ass palms, what does 0:18:45.720 --> 0:18:46.560 early even mean. 0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:50.199 Annie jokes that she started wearing gloves after that, just 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:52.199 to avoid another surprise reading. 0:18:52.400 --> 0:18:55.880 You never know where they are lurking around the corner, 0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:59.320 these pom readers. 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:19.760 Chapter three, killing them softly. Wait, have you had any 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:21.240 encounters with astrology? 0:19:21.320 --> 0:19:23.000 Because I yes, of course I have. 0:19:23.240 --> 0:19:23.480 You have? 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:26.159 Of course, Well tell me from the first time, like 0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:27.840 when what was the first time that you all know? 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:33.080 How much time do you have? 0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:38.000 It's the end of summer. My sister and I haven't 0:19:38.000 --> 0:19:41.920 talked much since my dad's passing. We've been distracting ourselves 0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:45.520 in different ways. She's been busy planning her wedding, I've 0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:49.239 been traveling for the show. Our rare conversations have been 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:53.000 around hence subjects, how to help her mom, how to 0:19:53.000 --> 0:19:58.200 deal with life insurance or close my dad's accounts. Shota's 0:19:58.240 --> 0:20:01.000 younger than me, and we're some in a lot of ways. 0:20:01.560 --> 0:20:04.359 We laugh at the same jokes. We've both inherited the 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:09.119 same family bee, we went to the same schools and colleges, 0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:13.200 even took some classes together. We both go to extreme 0:20:13.320 --> 0:20:18.280 lengths to help the people we love. But I found 0:20:18.280 --> 0:20:23.440 a way where we're nothing alike. No one has ever 0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:27.000 fallen deathly ill trying to cast my horoscope. 0:20:27.480 --> 0:20:30.640 So Amama, our grandma, wanted me to get my horoscope read. 0:20:31.160 --> 0:20:35.439 Our Amama is our mom's mom, and after Shanta was 0:20:35.480 --> 0:20:38.679 done with college, she sent shatas details off to this 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:41.800 legendary astrologer in Dharwad and he was kind of an 0:20:41.840 --> 0:20:44.199 older man known for his skill at reading charts. 0:20:44.840 --> 0:20:48.680 He died in the middle of reading this horoscope, which 0:20:48.720 --> 0:20:49.240 wasn't great. 0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:53.240 Then my grandmom tried to send Shanta's birth details to 0:20:53.320 --> 0:20:55.919 the former astrologer's apprentice, and. 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:59.440 Then he got really sick while apparently like my horoscope 0:20:59.480 --> 0:21:03.080 was in front of him, and I heard about that. 0:21:03.160 --> 0:21:05.639 I was like, okay, no, like, no more people reading 0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:08.359 my horoscope. This seems like a really bad thing. 0:21:08.800 --> 0:21:11.720 I didn't remember any of this, but it left a 0:21:11.800 --> 0:21:13.400 lasting impression on Shanpa. 0:21:13.840 --> 0:21:16.320 So I've always been like, Okay, there's something out there 0:21:16.359 --> 0:21:19.240 that I'm not supposed to know my horoscope because I 0:21:19.440 --> 0:21:22.120 never get to see it. It's almost like you don't 0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:25.000 need to know more. That's how I interpreted. 0:21:26.280 --> 0:21:29.080 I can't believe my sister was satisfied with not getting 0:21:29.160 --> 0:21:32.800 her reading back. That would make me crazy. I only 0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:35.600 want to know my forecast even more. It drove my 0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:39.119 mom's mom crazy too, because she really just wanted to 0:21:39.119 --> 0:21:42.720 hear someone tell her your granddaughter will get married by 0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:45.720 such and such a date, So she started pounding the 0:21:45.760 --> 0:21:49.720 pavement for other leads and dragging my sister across Bangalore. 0:21:49.760 --> 0:21:52.320 Or the various astrologers, they were. 0:21:52.160 --> 0:21:54.879 Never very specific about stuff with me. So one of 0:21:54.920 --> 0:21:57.359 the guys he gave a lot of information about my health, 0:21:57.400 --> 0:21:58.760 but then when it came to when I was going 0:21:58.840 --> 0:22:01.840 to marry someone, he said, her life before thirty will 0:22:01.880 --> 0:22:04.000 be good and her life after thirty will be good. 0:22:04.520 --> 0:22:08.080 And IMMO is very dissatisfied with an answer old, How 0:22:08.160 --> 0:22:11.119 old am I now forty one and you're getting married? Yes, 0:22:12.840 --> 0:22:15.440 so my life before was good in my life after 0:22:15.600 --> 0:22:19.800 is good. It was accurate, just not specific enough. 0:22:20.520 --> 0:22:22.960 When I hear this tape, it makes me feel like 0:22:22.960 --> 0:22:27.600 we're typical Indians, but we're really not. I mean, in 0:22:27.680 --> 0:22:31.399 American pop culture, the way Indians are represented, there are 0:22:31.400 --> 0:22:34.880 only two or three storyline tropes. There's the kid who 0:22:34.880 --> 0:22:37.760 secretly wants to be an artist, but his parents want 0:22:37.840 --> 0:22:40.760 him to be an engineer. Or there's a kid who 0:22:40.840 --> 0:22:43.959 wants to date someone of a different class or non Indian, 0:22:44.080 --> 0:22:47.639 but their family doesn't approve, or they think their family 0:22:47.640 --> 0:22:51.359 won't approve, and that causes all sorts of anxiety. But 0:22:51.440 --> 0:22:54.439 I never related to any of those tropes because my 0:22:54.560 --> 0:22:59.000 family wasn't like that. They were really progressive. My great 0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:01.880 grandfathers were kicked out of the community church for educating 0:23:01.920 --> 0:23:05.320 their daughters and for sending their sons to college overseas, 0:23:06.280 --> 0:23:09.560