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Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio

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Speaker 1: and the Black Effect. And just like that, we're back

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Speaker 1: with another episode of Carefully Reckless. It's your Girl, just hilarious.

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Speaker 1: And today I want to talk about fathers. Now listen.

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Speaker 1: I did an episode about fathers recently, but it wasn't

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Speaker 1: like this. We got Father's Day coming up, and whether

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Speaker 1: you are a father or a dad, you deserve to

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Speaker 1: be celebrated if you take care of children, whether they're

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Speaker 1: yours or somebody else's. But there are a lot of

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Speaker 1: great dad's out here, So grab your t grabby holes,

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Speaker 1: because it's story time now. Growing up, I had a

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Speaker 1: family member right who did not know her real dad

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Speaker 1: until she got older, she found him. He did never

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Speaker 1: look for her, but she had someone who took her

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Speaker 1: in as his own child. That was one of her

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Speaker 1: siblings father. When he would come get my other cousins,

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Speaker 1: he would come get hurt. Although she was the only

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Speaker 1: one who didn't have her real biological father and her life,

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Speaker 1: he took her and he took care of her. He

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Speaker 1: raised her, taught her about her periods, taught her about boys.

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Speaker 1: I mean, because my mother was absent. So this family

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Speaker 1: member kind of grew up without both biological parents, you know,

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Speaker 1: in her life. But however, someone who wasn't even really

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Speaker 1: her blood took her in I'm talking about, moved her

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Speaker 1: in with him and her siblings. He could have put

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Speaker 1: her in a foster and he could have put her

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Speaker 1: in a system, but he didn't want to break her

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Speaker 1: up from her siblings just because her father didn't want

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Speaker 1: her and the mother just was doing whatever. Now, this

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Speaker 1: particular family member loves everything about family because she didn't

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Speaker 1: really have a complete one growing up, so family means

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Speaker 1: a lot to her now. They can go both ways.

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Speaker 1: You could either be generationally cursed and treat your kids

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Speaker 1: the same way your parents treated you, or you can

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Speaker 1: make something better. You can break the curse, break the chain,

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Speaker 1: break the cycle, and do everything to give your child

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Speaker 1: what you didn't have grown up. And that's exactly what

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Speaker 1: my family member did and is doing still to this day.

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Speaker 1: Fast forward, she has her child, beautiful little boy. His

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Speaker 1: dad and her are still together. She wanted it like that,

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Speaker 1: That's why I took her so long to have a child.

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Speaker 1: So she set out to find out who our real

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Speaker 1: dad was. You know, she couldn't get the answers from

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Speaker 1: my mother. So she set out to find and she

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Speaker 1: found her other side of the family. And her real

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Speaker 1: father died years ago, so she never got to meet him,

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Speaker 1: never got to know him, but she see pictures and

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Speaker 1: she see now where she gets her looks from. And

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Speaker 1: she talks to his side of the family and they

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Speaker 1: tell her about him, and she realized how she relates

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Speaker 1: to him in so many ways, and that she was

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Speaker 1: is seeing this as a child. However, her siblings dad,

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Speaker 1: the one that took her in as his own child,

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Speaker 1: showed up to our baby shower. He was there the

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Speaker 1: whole time up until he just died recently a year ago.

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Speaker 1: And then you got to think about it. What makes

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Speaker 1: a father a father? So a father is someone who

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Speaker 1: believes that by donating his sperm for your creation, that

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Speaker 1: he has done his duty in life. You know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. That's what a father is. A dad, however,

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Speaker 1: is someone who gets up every day and does whatever

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Speaker 1: he can to put a roof over your head, clothes

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Speaker 1: on your back, food on the table, teach you life lessons,

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Speaker 1: pick you up, dust you off, tell you to try

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Speaker 1: again when you fail. To teach you that failure is

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Speaker 1: not necessarily bad, that you need to go through trial

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Speaker 1: and error to get that victory. Sometimes a fail is

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Speaker 1: a victory because you still tried. That's what a father is.

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Speaker 1: You know. A dad is a good disciplinarian. You know,

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Speaker 1: he allows his kids to make mistakes. He's open minded.

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Speaker 1: He teaches his children appreciate things. He makes you earn

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Speaker 1: things and makes you work for things. He gets you

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Speaker 1: ready for the real world. The dad is a beautiful

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Speaker 1: person to have in your life. A real dad, a

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Speaker 1: good dad, spends quality time with his children. He leads

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Speaker 1: by example. He's supportive and super loyal. I love it.

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Speaker 1: Having a dad is a beautiful thing. It's it's a major,

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Speaker 1: a major attribute to your life. It's a major asset

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Speaker 1: to your life. That's why I feel for the people

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Speaker 1: who didn't grow up. Not sorry for y'all, but I

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Speaker 1: just feel for you all because a lot of people

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Speaker 1: who didn't grow up with their dad very well suffer

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Speaker 1: to great lengths. It affects you as a father when

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Speaker 1: you become a father, if you didn't have your father,

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Speaker 1: it affects you as a mother. If you didn't have

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Speaker 1: your father growing up, it affects you greatly. It affects

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Speaker 1: your relationships that's why I want to send a lot

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Speaker 1: of love to the people who didn't grow up with

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Speaker 1: a dad, and y'all had to find your own way,

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Speaker 1: because it's a lot of y'all who are strong and

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Speaker 1: who are strong enough to raise yourself without your dad.

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Speaker 1: Now we got a commercial, and if you click off

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Speaker 1: of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. Now,

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Speaker 1: that's the beauty of having a dad. You don't need

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Speaker 1: to be a person's biological father to be a good dad.

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Speaker 1: And I learned that. I even learned that in my

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Speaker 1: own dad. My dad raised boys around our neighborhood who

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Speaker 1: didn't have fathers. I grew up West Baltimore, West Baltimore City.

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Speaker 1: Now it was me and my brother for a long

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Speaker 1: time before my little sister got here. My dad that

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Speaker 1: the best he could do. He got up, he worked

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Speaker 1: every damn day I'm talking about. He wasn't perfect in

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Speaker 1: his marriage, but he was a perfect damn dad. And

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Speaker 1: that's what he implemented in my brother. That's what he

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Speaker 1: implemented in the other guys that he raised around the

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Speaker 1: neighborhood who are also good dad's. Now, because of my father,

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Speaker 1: you know, and because of his guidance. He was there

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Speaker 1: for those kids. My dad raised my cousins. I had

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Speaker 1: an aunt who had eight children. Guard Rest her soul.

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Speaker 1: She didn't have any of them. She just kept having kids,

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Speaker 1: but didn't take care of any of them. One of

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Speaker 1: her sons and one of her daughters came to live

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Speaker 1: with me, my mother, my father, and my brother. My

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Speaker 1: father raised one of her boys and one of her girls.

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Speaker 1: Until this day, my cousin's look at my father as

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Speaker 1: a father figure, as their father. You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: They don't call him dad, they call him uncle Kevin.

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Speaker 1: But still if they need anything, they call him. For

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Speaker 1: their weddings, he walked her down. My father has never

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Speaker 1: been absent in my life, and I can honestly and

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Speaker 1: truly say I was raised beautifully by my father. He

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Speaker 1: did a great job. There was no wrong that my

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Speaker 1: father could do in my eyes growing up. So fatherhood

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Speaker 1: really really means a lot to me as it relates

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Speaker 1: to me having a father and my dad showing me

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Speaker 1: what fatherhood is to him. I asked my dad, I said,

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Speaker 1: what does fatherhood mean to you? Because I knew that

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Speaker 1: I was gonna do this podcast episode, you know, leading

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Speaker 1: up to Father's Day, and my dad answered very old school,

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Speaker 1: my dad fifty years old. You know that's my best friend.

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Speaker 1: Y'all know this about me if y'all are avid, just

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Speaker 1: hilarious watchers and listeners, y'all know my dad means the

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Speaker 1: world to me. I look just like a period. You know.

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Speaker 1: That's where I get my handsome from. You know. He said,

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Speaker 1: fatherhood to me is showing love and dedication. Boo Boom,

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Speaker 1: that's my nickname he called me. My mom calls me pumpkin.

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Speaker 1: But this is about dad, so I'm Boo boo right now.

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Speaker 1: He said, the best thing about being a dad is

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Speaker 1: the pride and raising someone. Knowing that you raised a life,

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Speaker 1: you chose to have a life, you and your brother

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Speaker 1: were planned. Raising you and your brother to be a

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Speaker 1: leader and support your own children made me the best

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Speaker 1: teacher possible. Making my kids somebody made me somebody that

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Speaker 1: meant so much to me. When he said that, he

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Speaker 1: doesn't know how that answer triggered some tears, because that's deep,

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Speaker 1: you know. He said, making us somebody made him somebody.

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Speaker 1: Men take pride in being dads, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like there's been this stigma put on

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Speaker 1: black dad's, or they always leave. They never stay. They

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Speaker 1: get you pregnant and they leave. They you know, they

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Speaker 1: don't like paying their child support. They don't, you know.

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Speaker 1: But there are a lot of good dads out here, man, Seriously,

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Speaker 1: all the good ones are overlooked because we got the

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Speaker 1: deadbeat ones. I've been saying, a lot of dads stick up,

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Speaker 1: you know. I have family members that went to court

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Speaker 1: fighting and still are fighting for full custody of their

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Speaker 1: children or joint custody. My family member who I said

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Speaker 1: didn't have her her father, I commend her, and I

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Speaker 1: commend the man who raised her. I commend her dad,

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Speaker 1: not her biological father, her dad. She had three other siblings.

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Speaker 1: He took her in, he raised her. Now she's a

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Speaker 1: good mother. She knows what to do because he told

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Speaker 1: her ship that our mother didn't even teach her. I

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Speaker 1: love my black Dad's a love of all dads. But

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you the reason why I'm singling out black dads,

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Speaker 1: I'm subjecting the black dads is because of the stigma

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Speaker 1: that they put on our dad's, our fathers, our black men,

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Speaker 1: on all of them, when all of them are not

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Speaker 1: bad and even the people who don't have their fathers anymore,

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Speaker 1: who fathers are now deceased or or now resting in peace,

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Speaker 1: but did a great job while they were here living

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Speaker 1: on this earth. I'm giving a shout out to them

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Speaker 1: as well. And I'm sending love to you guys who

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Speaker 1: don't have your dad's because I know you would give

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Speaker 1: anything to have him back. I wake up and thank

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Speaker 1: God for my father every day because when my family

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Speaker 1: member lost her dad, she was lost. She was upset,

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Speaker 1: but at least she knew what it was like to

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Speaker 1: have a dad because when she found her real father,

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Speaker 1: her biological dad's side of the family told her that

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Speaker 1: he was deceased. She didn't really feel too sad about

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Speaker 1: it because she had already grown up with the father.

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Speaker 1: But she still didn't want to leave this earth without

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Speaker 1: knowing who her actual, illogical father was. And that's an

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Speaker 1: amazing thing that she didn't let that destroy her finding

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Speaker 1: out that her biological father was actually dead, because she

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Speaker 1: had someone that raised her who was a father figure

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Speaker 1: in her life. If you love me, you'll listen to

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Speaker 1: this commercial and then we'll be right back. That brings

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Speaker 1: me to just fix my mess, So I asked and

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Speaker 1: honor a father's day. Life lessons your dad taught you

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Speaker 1: go and I'm just gonna read a couple off. A

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Speaker 1: lot of them are funny, you know a lot of

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Speaker 1: them are deep. You know, I'm gonna read a couple

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Speaker 1: j Caimbria Chris on Instagram says, my dad taught me

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Speaker 1: if all else fails, be with the nigga that love you,

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Speaker 1: and not a nigga you love. It's something about that

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Speaker 1: that I really really love. The nigga is throwing me off,

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Speaker 1: but I love it because she put it cut and dry, straightforward.

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Speaker 1: Be with the man that loves you and not a

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Speaker 1: man that you love. Now I know he means not

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Speaker 1: a man that you only love, because love goes both ways.

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Speaker 1: If that man loves you equally like you love him,

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Speaker 1: loves you the same as you love him, I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about you can't love him more. He can't love you

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Speaker 1: any less than you love him. That's the one you choose.

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Speaker 1: I definitely get it. Can't being loved by himself. That's

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Speaker 1: one of the greatest lessons that a dad could ever

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Speaker 1: teach his daughter, because that means your dad taught you

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Speaker 1: love already, so you don't have to go seek and

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Speaker 1: and and and go beg for it from someone else.

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Speaker 1: Giselle Milan x o x O says, always have your

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Speaker 1: own money stashed the way in case of Nigga act dumb.

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Speaker 1: Hey yo yo, you're funny is out all right? Just

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Speaker 1: in case of Nigga act dumb. No, I get it.

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Speaker 1: I get it. That's teaching you stability and independence. And

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Speaker 1: your dad did just that by telling you that. I

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Speaker 1: hope you'll following these daddy lessons because they're they're good

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Speaker 1: so far, okay. Stefan James says, you don't need a

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Speaker 1: dad to be great. I agree, and then I don't agree.

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Speaker 1: It depends on the person you are, the drive in

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Speaker 1: you because, like I said earlier in the episode, a

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Speaker 1: lot of people read themselves. A lot of people didn't

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Speaker 1: have it voice because they didn't have fathers. They didn't

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Speaker 1: have dad's either. Everybody doesn't get that opportunity to have

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Speaker 1: someone to guide them and to lead them. So I

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Speaker 1: do second that you don't need a dad to be great,

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Speaker 1: because my father didn't have a father and he wanted

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Speaker 1: to make sure we did. Because he didn't. My dad

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Speaker 1: raised himself and his little sister. Now my grandmother was present,

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Speaker 1: you know, but she was an alcoholic, you know. You know,

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Speaker 1: she was present, but then she wasn't and my dad

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Speaker 1: stepped up and he took care of himself and his

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Speaker 1: little sister. So no, he did not have a father

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Speaker 1: or a father figure for that matter. So I do agree.

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Speaker 1: Moving on, Shimmy Coco says, my dad taught me not

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Speaker 1: to tell anybody what I'm about to do. If I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna leave a nigga, just leave. If I'm a snack

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Speaker 1: a bit, just smack her. If I'm buying a car,

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Speaker 1: just buy it. Ship like that, Oh, you're funniest ship.

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Speaker 1: I don't even have nothing to say about that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: just don't tell your left hand with your right hand on.

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Speaker 1: Don't tell, nor don't put nobody in your business because

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Speaker 1: you may a jinks. I guess I don't know. But

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Speaker 1: the fly plug Jeremiah on Instagram said, my dad taught

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Speaker 1: me integrity. Great, that's amazing. To have integrity as a

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Speaker 1: man is a very honorable thing. And for those who

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Speaker 1: don't know just what integrity means, and there's nothing wrong

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Speaker 1: with that, it's just the state of being whole and undivided.

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Speaker 1: You know, the quality of being honest and having moral principles,

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Speaker 1: strong moral principles, you know, moral uprightness. That's integrity. That's

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Speaker 1: what a man should always have. You know, if you

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Speaker 1: lack integrity, work on it. But that's what fathers and

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Speaker 1: still in their sons, that's what they implement, along with pride.

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Speaker 1: You know, they both go hand and had. Young Mills said,

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Speaker 1: the world ain't gonna love you like I love you.

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Speaker 1: That's why I'm whooping your ass. Love my pops. That's

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Speaker 1: like the ultimate dad phrase. Before you get your ass

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Speaker 1: with the world. Ain't gonna love you like I love you.

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Speaker 1: That's why I'm whipping your ass. I love it. And

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Speaker 1: I bet you are a great man to this day

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Speaker 1: because your pops whipped your ass. A lot of us

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Speaker 1: needed that ship. A lot of us needed that ship.

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Speaker 1: My father never laid a hand on me, but he

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Speaker 1: could look at me and put some base in that voice.

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Speaker 1: And I was straating my ass up. I did not

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Speaker 1: play with my father, you know. Piff and Wesson said,

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Speaker 1: every man for themselves. Okay, your dad was a gangster,

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Speaker 1: all right, Okay, your dad taught you every man for himselves. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's in the streets and business and in life period,

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Speaker 1: every man for himself. I'll take it. Pokehon is underscore.

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Speaker 1: Litchell said he wasn't around to teach me, but I

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Speaker 1: learned to never let a man treat me the way

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Speaker 1: he did. I love it. You took the high road

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Speaker 1: and you made a positive out of your negative. You

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Speaker 1: chose to not let a man treat you the way

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Speaker 1: your father treated you because you noticed that you didn't

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Speaker 1: like that growing up, or you know, even as a

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Speaker 1: grown woman, you noticed that you didn't have a strong

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Speaker 1: upbringing as it relates to having a dad. I love

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Speaker 1: that you taught yourself a lesson, baby girl. I'm very

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Speaker 1: proud of you. Liquida Bailey says, there is always three

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Speaker 1: sides to a story. Your side, their side, and the

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Speaker 1: truth is what my pop taught me amazing life lesson. See,

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Speaker 1: that's why it's good to have a dad. They teach

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Speaker 1: you awesome life lessons. Grants from d a O said,

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Speaker 1: my dad taught me, if you come across, just marry

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Speaker 1: her and keep getting her pregnant. One nigga, look by

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Speaker 1: next any right playing with you only one? EBB says

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Speaker 1: you are the prize. You don't have to give it up.

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Speaker 1: Men gonna want you're regardless because you are absolutely stunning.

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Speaker 1: I just want to say shout out to your daddy

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Speaker 1: for that. When your dad already tells you constantly that

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Speaker 1: you're beautiful, you don't need to run behind a man

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Speaker 1: to get that validation. That's another reason why we need

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Speaker 1: our fathers and why it's important that they're in our

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Speaker 1: lives and that they spend quality time with us so

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Speaker 1: they can build our confidence so we don't lack confidence

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Speaker 1: and self esteem. Last one, big one, underscore firstborn said,

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Speaker 1: you don't have friends. You got family, and you have associates,

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Speaker 1: and when you fight, it's by any means necessary. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I like it. I like it. Your dad was from

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Speaker 1: the hood. He didn't give a funk. Look if you

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Speaker 1: wanta smack a bit, smack a bit. I love that. Listen,

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Speaker 1: those were all great responses. I want to give a

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Speaker 1: shout out to some of the dads that show us

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Speaker 1: more than often that they love their children. Shout out

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Speaker 1: to Ocho Senko, Chad Johnson. Listen, he's great. He's a

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Speaker 1: great dad. He he does great with his girls. He

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Speaker 1: shows us, he puts it out there on the internet

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Speaker 1: all the time he does his baby girls hair, he

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Speaker 1: hypes up his girls. I love it. He tells them

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Speaker 1: that they are beautiful in their black skin. Um, their

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Speaker 1: skin is like milk and butter. I love the way

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Speaker 1: Ocho Sinko caters to his daughters. Okay, he's a great

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Speaker 1: dad and you can tell that he loves being a father.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to Ji Herbo. He loves his son with passion. Honey,

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Speaker 1: he loves yo son and he loves his new baby

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Speaker 1: that he just had with Tina. So shout out to

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Speaker 1: Je Herbo. Shout out to little Boosey. He is a disciplinarian.

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Speaker 1: He is a good parent. Though he shows that he

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Speaker 1: don't play with them boys. He makes sure he teaches

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Speaker 1: his boys how to groom themselves and if they don't know,

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Speaker 1: he grooms him that his damn self Boosey be combing

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Speaker 1: their hair, fussing at cousin, asks out about their hair

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Speaker 1: and their hygiene and how they present themselves and everything

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Speaker 1: that is a good damn father. Shout out the Little

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Speaker 1: Boosey money bag yil always present. He shows us how

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Speaker 1: much he loves all of his kids, although it's a

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Speaker 1: lot of them. He shows us he's a great dad

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Speaker 1: the baby. Now, y'all know, if it's anything the baby

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Speaker 1: gonna do of it and knocking out, is gonna be

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Speaker 1: spending time with his baby girl. Russell Wilson great father,

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Speaker 1: a great father, and a great dad. He's a great

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Speaker 1: dad to baby Future, and he's a great father to

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Speaker 1: his own children, his own biological children. And I love

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Speaker 1: to see it. We love it. Little Future loves him,

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Speaker 1: Seana loves him, that new little baby loves him. And

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Speaker 1: they all look like he chewed them up. At them too,

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Speaker 1: it's two biological ones. Look like he chewed them up

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Speaker 1: and spit them straight out. Shout out to Russell Wilson

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Speaker 1: fifty cents. It's like, no, y'all know, I gotta have

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Speaker 1: some funny in somewhere. Moving on ice cube. Ice cube

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Speaker 1: raised oh Shan Jackson to look just like his ads,

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Speaker 1: but to also embody so much grace. He's a good man,

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Speaker 1: you can tell, and always been present in his baby

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Speaker 1: boy's life. You know what I'm saying. That's amazing. Shout

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Speaker 1: out to little Roll Howary, that's my man, comedian, little Rall.

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Speaker 1: I've seen firsthand, personally, up close and personal, what a

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Speaker 1: great father he is. He would have his children with

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Speaker 1: him on set while he's working. He would still find

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Speaker 1: time to spend with them in between, you know, shooting

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Speaker 1: episodes and movies and and and tour life. You know,

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Speaker 1: like he's a great dad, great great dad. Kevin Hart

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Speaker 1: another one. He's been showing us his his daddy duties

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Speaker 1: and fatherly skills since before his second marriage. You know,

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Speaker 1: when he would would bring his children on tour with

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Speaker 1: him during his first marriage or whatever. Denzel Washington, his

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Speaker 1: children does interviews and talk about how much of a

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Speaker 1: great father he was still able to be even with

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Speaker 1: his busy ass career shooting movie after movie, he was

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Speaker 1: still a great dad. Shout out to Mike Epps, who

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Speaker 1: is having another baby. Look, Mike said, I don't care

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Speaker 1: how old I get. I'm popping these seeds out. Shout

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Speaker 1: out second Nick Cannon, great dad. I don't care what

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Speaker 1: y'all say. He got a lot of kids by a

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Speaker 1: lot of different women, but he takes care of each

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Speaker 1: and every one of them, and it's all love with

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Speaker 1: him and his children. I want to give a shout

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Speaker 1: out to Kobe Bryant, who is not here anymore, but

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Speaker 1: who was a great father. If you lost your father,

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Speaker 1: and he was a great dad to you. Shout out

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Speaker 1: to you, and shout out to your father. Shout out

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Speaker 1: to all the fathers who aren't here anymore who were

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Speaker 1: great dads. Shout out to my son's dad, Jerome James, Lord,

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Speaker 1: baby father, I love you, man. Couldn't have done it

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Speaker 1: without you, obviously, I love you. And last but not least,

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Speaker 1: shout out to my very own father, Kevin Moore. You

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Speaker 1: raised me to be the best person I am right now.

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Speaker 1: You raised me to be everything that you were and

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Speaker 1: everything that you weren't. And because of you, I got

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Speaker 1: thick skin. Dad. Because of you, I'm handsome man, pretty nigga,

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Speaker 1: and I love you. And every day that I wake up,

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Speaker 1: I thank God that I still have you, y'all. I

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Speaker 1: really really do. And just like that, I'm gonna ended

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Speaker 1: Happy Father's Day to all the beautiful dad's out there.

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Speaker 1: I commend you, keep stepping up, keep doing what you do,

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Speaker 1: and tune in next week because we got a juicy

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Speaker 1: est episode next week. Happy Father's Day to all y'all,

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Speaker 1: and then my deepest pain voice nice as Carefully Reckless

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Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect.

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Speaker 1: For more podcasts, from I heart Radio, visit the I

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Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to

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Speaker 1: your favorite shows.