1 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 1: Billion pieces. 2 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 2: Welcome, Welcome, gather ye round the old radio speakers because 3 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,280 Speaker 2: it's time for Banana's minisode. I am Banana Boy number 4 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 2: two Scotti Landis. 5 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 3: I am Kerk Brown Owler. Welcome to a minisode where 6 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 3: we take your stories, tell our stories on top of them. 7 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 2: We have we have a little bit of fun. Today's 8 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 2: a momentous occasion, Kirk because after seven years of my 9 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 2: company is called Mudflap Incorporated. That's what I write for 10 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 2: the bank that I use. When they issued me my 11 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 2: corporate cards, my credit cards, a debit card, and checks 12 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:11,040 Speaker 2: had a typo it said mud Lap, no f mud Lap. 13 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 2: I went in person three times. I said this is 14 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 2: not the name of my company. Every my accountant every 15 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 2: year when we do taxes is like, you have to 16 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,200 Speaker 2: get this change, and I say, I am literally at 17 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,960 Speaker 2: the source, and they won't do it. Today I just 18 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:30,400 Speaker 2: got new checks and they say Mudflap and not mud lap. 19 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 2: Mudud lounds like everybody got dysentery on a cruise ship. 20 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 2: And it's a huge I don't know what changed in 21 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 2: the system, but I don't know seven years later, six 22 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 2: years later, six. 23 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 3: Years so you've been having a card just handing it 24 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 3: over as mud lap this whole time. 25 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 2: Mud lap when I signed checks, like if somebody does 26 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 2: any work for me and I write them an actual 27 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 2: physical paper check, mud lap incorporated. Now we're mudflap. I 28 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 2: feel like I've arrived. 29 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, welcome. You've taken enough mud laps around the dirty pool, 30 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 3: and now you can mudflap it down the road. 31 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 2: That's right, I drun. 32 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:10,079 Speaker 3: I mean, you got some, you got some, you got 33 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 3: some for. 34 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 2: So we put out some topics or some confessions. The confessions, 35 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,079 Speaker 2: as always, are anonymous. We don't see your name. We're 36 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 2: pretty wild, so we will almost always absolve you of 37 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 2: your sins. But yeah, I got a lot. And the 38 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 2: topics were neighbor revenge, neighbor revenge or I think wedding 39 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 2: stories or wedding disasters. 40 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 3: I got a good neighbor revenge one here too, So 41 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 3: you go first, You go first. 42 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 2: Okay, this might be a stretch on neighbor revenge, but 43 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,079 Speaker 2: since it's kind of a bathroom stall neighbor situation, I'm 44 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 2: sending it. Hopefully this topic isn't too girly for you guys. Okay, 45 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,119 Speaker 2: we'll see, we'll see. Nothing's too girly. No way, We're 46 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 2: the girliest guys there are. The restroom at work had 47 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,639 Speaker 2: a tampon machine, but rather than waste money on the machine, 48 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 2: I would bring in a small pouch of them and 49 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 2: leave it on top of the machine for my own use. 50 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 2: One day I needed them and took down the pouch 51 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 2: need to find that they were all gone. Also, a 52 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,640 Speaker 2: lot of women will tell me. A lot of my 53 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 2: female friends say that women are huge kleptomaniacs, that they 54 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 2: steal from each other all the time. Clothes, earrings from 55 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,560 Speaker 2: players in the nineteen nineties, CDs from Strawberry or Sam Goody. 56 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:18,239 Speaker 3: Anyways, Strawberry, Oh my god. 57 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, remember that. Seriously, any woman who would do that 58 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 2: to another woman deserved retaliation. That night, at home, I 59 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 2: took a tampon, carefully opened the package, removed the insides, 60 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 2: and replaced it with torn up cotton balls, which I 61 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 2: then poked down inside the tube. I took a bit 62 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 2: of glue and resealed the package. Put a new tampon 63 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 2: into the pouch on top of the machine at work. Wow, 64 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 2: if you can't beat them, join them. It took only 65 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 2: twenty four hours for the pouch to get emptied. I 66 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 2: never got the pleasure of seeing the disastrous result, but 67 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 2: having spent the last ten years laughing at the picture 68 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 2: of this in my head. Needless to say, I never 69 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 2: had another tampon stolen out of that pouch signed a 70 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 2: wicked bananimal. Uh, pretty great, Pretty great. So first of all, 71 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 2: you're absolved what you did. You didn't do anything wrong. 72 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 3: I just wonder. I just wonder, like, and on the 73 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 3: limited knowledge of tampons that I have, wouldn't the person 74 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 3: notice there was no string hanging out the bottom? That's 75 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:26,040 Speaker 3: what I just wonder. Would it have actually been a 76 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 3: full goof Also what happens package? But I mean like, sure, 77 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 3: open the package then it's but it's like she took 78 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 3: the care to put so cotton balls inside the applicator. 79 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,159 Speaker 3: That's the part, Like what would happen if that if 80 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 3: you did just put a bunch of cotton balls inside yourself? 81 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 2: What probably would they work for a little bit? 82 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 3: It would look for a little bit, right, but then 83 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 3: you just had to have a difficult time getting them out? 84 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,040 Speaker 2: Is that not great? 85 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 3: Like I'm gonna try to fully understand, like if the 86 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,720 Speaker 3: prank went perfectly, what are the results? Do you know 87 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 3: what I mean? And that is where I lack the 88 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 3: the the anas understand understanding ranks. 89 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:09,479 Speaker 2: Good it is uh And I have always liked those 90 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 2: kind of little like revenge things, like when somebody broke 91 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 2: in my house in Brooklyn, I put a little note 92 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 2: under the door that says I'm waiting for you. And 93 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 2: I've done that in La too, so that if anybody's 94 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 2: ever like just comes to the front door and looks 95 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,719 Speaker 2: under my locket says I'm waiting for you, just to 96 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 2: make them go like, what's happening here? But I really 97 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 2: do like, I think that's like such a funny way 98 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 2: to handle it. Instead of like walking out in the 99 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 2: office being like, who's been stealing my tampons? You just 100 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 2: slowly sabotage somebody and then it lets them know that 101 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,599 Speaker 2: you know what they did was wrong. Yeah. 102 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 3: These also when someone broke in, are you talking about them? 103 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,360 Speaker 3: What time when you were home and you heard someone 104 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,599 Speaker 3: come in and you just yelled at them? 105 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I did. 106 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,480 Speaker 3: Wonder about that. I always wonder if that if that 107 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 3: was that was during the. 108 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 2: Day though, right it was eleven am Labor Day thing, 109 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 2: which it was a Friday, eleven am, which the later 110 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 2: told me was the time you're most likely to have 111 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 2: somebody break into your home. 112 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 3: Interesting. 113 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was sitting there on my bed and 114 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,679 Speaker 2: I thought it was my then girlfriend or our mutual 115 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 2: friend Chris used to be my old roommate. And the 116 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,480 Speaker 2: man opened my bedroom door and was standing in my door, 117 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,800 Speaker 2: somebody I've never seen before, and he was backlit, so 118 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 2: I couldn't really get a great description. I knew I 119 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 2: was bigger than the guy, and I saw red and 120 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,120 Speaker 2: I went after him, and I wanted I've told this 121 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 2: on the pop long time ago, I think, but I 122 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,799 Speaker 2: wanted to yell, get the fuck out of my house. 123 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 2: But I was so pumped up with adrenaline. I grabbed 124 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:42,280 Speaker 2: the bat and I just screamed, fucking going as loud 125 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 2: as I could. That was way before like all this 126 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 2: let's go crap that every unoriginal person in the world 127 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 2: yells all the time. Now ah, let's go, And that 128 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 2: dude ran and I chased him all the way down. 129 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 2: It was but then I was like, I switched the locks. 130 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,920 Speaker 2: But now I was like, I have to mess with 131 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,840 Speaker 2: this person's head. I did the same thing, same apartment building. 132 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 2: Someone I don't I'd never figured out who was was 133 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 2: peeing in the elevator. 134 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 3: Oh man, And that was such a like a tiny 135 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 3: little elevator. 136 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, and and it we know, we had complained about it, 137 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 2: and we told management, but they don't have cameras in 138 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 2: the elevator and we couldn't. We knew that. 139 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 3: We still remember, I still remember the sound and smell 140 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 3: of your elevator. Yeah, that like it was like a 141 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 3: fan that would rub against it was a slow moving 142 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 3: fan that would rub against one piece of metal. 143 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 2: Like wow, wamp wamp, waw wamp. 144 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 3: And it smelt like just like like it had been 145 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 3: peed in a lot of times but then cleaned, meticulously clean. 146 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 3: But then but still still someone had peed in it. 147 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I you know, after a month, and 148 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 2: it probably happened four or five times, and we knew 149 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 2: it was a dude. We just knew it was some 150 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 2: guy of course, yes, yeah, yeah, So I put a 151 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 2: notice in there that was like thank you to the 152 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 2: person with the extremely small penis who continues to pee 153 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 2: in here. We all love it. We understand you can't 154 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 2: pinch your extremely small penis and hold it for the 155 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 2: It's a six floor building. It wasn't like you somebody 156 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 2: had to ride two hundred stories and it never happened again. 157 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 2: I just think insulting his manhood in like a complimentary 158 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 2: way somehow, I don't know, Like it was like he 159 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 2: was so embarrassed that like, yeah, even though I have 160 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,480 Speaker 2: no idea who did it, and maybe that person is 161 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 2: the new you know, hung like a whale, who knows, 162 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,080 Speaker 2: but it was enough to mess with the person's psyche. 163 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 2: So bravo to this Bananamal for just retaliating in the 164 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 2: simplest and most like diabolical way. 165 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,079 Speaker 3: I love the idea, or to go back to what 166 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 3: you saying, fucking go, yeah, I would. Last time I 167 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 3: was in New York when we did the Bell House show, 168 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:52,439 Speaker 3: I was walking, Yeah, I was walking. I had enough time, 169 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 3: like I woke up, got I had enough time to 170 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:58,079 Speaker 3: like go get a bagel and then go to the airport. 171 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 3: Like that's the amount of time that I had. And 172 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,439 Speaker 3: so I had just gotten my bagel. I'd be a 173 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 3: little hungover from our show, and we had a couple 174 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,599 Speaker 3: and I was walking in I didn't see I was 175 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 3: like stepping out into the street and I didn't see 176 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 3: that it was a bike lane and a dude like 177 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 3: zoomed right by me and just like yelled at me, 178 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 3: watch yourself, and without thinking, I just went fuck you, 179 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 3: and he immediately screamed back, no, you fuck yourself. I 180 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 3: said fuck yourself, and he said, no, you fuck yourself, 181 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 3: and I realized that really what it was was it 182 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 3: was just like him being like, I'm scared, and then 183 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 3: me going like I'm scared too, and then him being like, 184 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 3: I'm more scared. And how nice would it be if 185 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 3: we could just have said that as men, you know, 186 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 3: just like, hey, are. 187 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 2: You scared me? I'm sorry, I am embarrassed now, and 188 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 2: I don't. 189 00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 3: Instead, it's all just like watch yourself, fuck yourself. No't 190 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:01,560 Speaker 3: fuck you? 191 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that. And that's New York and like 192 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 2: it's what. It's a city of ten million people who've 193 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 2: never been wrong about anything ever. 194 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 3: It was right near it was right near Le Bagel Delight. 195 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:18,559 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sorry La Bagel Delee. I like to 196 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 3: call it. 197 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 2: You know, why did I ever think of that? La 198 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 2: Bagel Delee? Great bagels, More cream cheeses than you could 199 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 2: ever imagine. 200 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:30,559 Speaker 3: So many cream cheeses of things that you don't even want. 201 00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 3: They're just like, this is sage in raspberry cream cheese. 202 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 3: You're like I don't want it. 203 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 2: Where were we when because we were talking about this recently, 204 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 2: the New York's efficiency, which I think a lot of 205 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 2: people think is rudeness, but it's really not. It's just 206 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 2: the sheer number of people. Yeah, a bagel place can 207 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 2: go through in an hour is just insanely fast, and 208 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 2: they're efficient, and it's like, what do you want? Okay, 209 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 2: step up there, you pay, and here's your napkins, and go. 210 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 2: But you were saying that you like, ordered a bagel 211 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,719 Speaker 2: somewhere when we were on tour recently, and it took 212 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,079 Speaker 2: the woman like twenty five minutes to make the bagel, 213 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:06,560 Speaker 2: and then you asked for the coffee and it was 214 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 2: like that took more time and you're just standing there. 215 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 2: Was it take homa? Oh? 216 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 3: Was it taco? I cannot remember? 217 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:16,000 Speaker 2: Funny though, because it was the exact LA is really 218 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 2: slow compared to New York's. 219 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 3: LA is like LA is ten times slower than New 220 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,400 Speaker 3: York City. With like with like, especially with like mourning 221 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,559 Speaker 3: things where and the morning things are like the things 222 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 3: that you want, do you know what I mean? Like 223 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 3: you just want to get it over with, Like I 224 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,559 Speaker 3: don't want to wait in line for coffee and bagel fast. 225 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 2: I mean, there's so fast. 226 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 3: Any place in New York is just like what do 227 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 3: you want? Boom and you got it and then La, 228 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 3: it's like the chats, the chats with the baristas for 229 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:47,320 Speaker 3: every single person, and it's all bullshit nothing ness. I 230 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,559 Speaker 3: remember being I'm not I'm no longer frustrated by it, 231 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:51,760 Speaker 3: but I remember saying it to you. I was like, 232 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 3: if if if New York, if if LA is ten 233 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 3: times slower than New York, this big was like ten 234 00:11:58,440 --> 00:11:59,559 Speaker 3: times slower than LA. 235 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. 236 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 3: It was just like, oh man, this is a different time. 237 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. And I moved out here. Somebody said 238 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,719 Speaker 2: hi to me at a gas pump, just like hey man, 239 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,680 Speaker 2: and I instantly went like New York guard up and 240 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 2: was like what do they want? I was like hey, 241 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,679 Speaker 2: like sue aggressively hey, And he was like having a 242 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 2: nice day. I'm like, yes, like just end this car 243 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,079 Speaker 2: and he was like just went away, didn't ask me 244 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 2: for anything, just was a nice human being interacting on 245 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 2: a sunny day. Yeah. 246 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 3: That reminds me of me trying to interact with everybody 247 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 3: at that fancy resort we were out just recently. 248 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,079 Speaker 2: Gosh, you guys, this was the funny Kurt. We did 249 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,960 Speaker 2: a dude's weekend. Kurt and two of our buddies, Robin Rich. 250 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 2: We went up for a buddy Rich's birthday up into 251 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 2: Big Sir. So it's gorgeous anybody that comes to California 252 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,959 Speaker 2: and to make time to go to Big Sir. And 253 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 2: we stayed at a very high end, very high end resort. 254 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:56,840 Speaker 2: And Kurt did the funniest bit immediately. 255 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 3: All weekend, I was just saying hi to everybody, but 256 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 3: like but like really like not aggressively saying hi, but 257 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 3: just like genuinely friend being very friendly with every single 258 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 3: person we saw. And the people here. When I say 259 00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 3: it was like a high end resort, it was the 260 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 3: It was the nicest place I've ever been in my 261 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:19,559 Speaker 3: entire life. And it was just like you know, it 262 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 3: was it was a very special birthday weekend yea for 263 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 3: Rich and so it was all like taking care of 264 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:28,120 Speaker 3: We were just like in the most beautiful place ever. Yeah, 265 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,120 Speaker 3: but everyone who was there was like a person who 266 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 3: could pay that much money to stay at this place. 267 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:36,160 Speaker 2: And so smug couples, smug couples ages twenty five to 268 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 2: seventy five, just the smuggest loveless marriages over and over. 269 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 2: Not the banana boys. 270 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 3: Ye'd just be going, hey, how you doing, welcome. 271 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,600 Speaker 2: It was so good. Every time we passed any couple anywhere, 272 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,880 Speaker 2: they're in silence. Sometimes they're in robes, just wearing robes, 273 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,160 Speaker 2: walking around through the woods like it's a total not 274 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:59,320 Speaker 2: druid thing to do. Yeah, and Kurt would go, hey, guys, 275 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,720 Speaker 2: how you doing, And then they would even respond. 276 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 3: They would none of them, Not a single person responded 277 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,719 Speaker 3: to me, not a single person smiled at me. No, 278 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 3: it was amazing. 279 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 2: That's what made it even better. I mean Kurt probably 280 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 2: did this twenty times to the resort only could have 281 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 2: twenty sixty people. Yeah, exactly, so like twenty percent. Uh. 282 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 2: And Kurt be like, hey, guys, good to see you. 283 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 2: And then they just would not say anything like hey, 284 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 2: how are you today, good morning? So weird you were 285 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 2: being kind, and it was annoying them. 286 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,000 Speaker 3: It was annoying that, like we've come, we've paid this 287 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:34,840 Speaker 3: much so that no one will speak to us. 288 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, not us ready for it? 289 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, this is from Mitzi. Mitzi says we can 290 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,640 Speaker 3: use her name Mitzi Ac. My husband was a firefighter 291 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,880 Speaker 3: on Cape Cod and used to snowplow on the side 292 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,240 Speaker 3: for cash. Because of where we lived, a lot of 293 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 3: the work he did was for unoccupied summer homes where 294 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 3: the caretaker would hire him. One of his clients had 295 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,960 Speaker 3: a massive home on the water in a very nice town, 296 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 3: and when it came time for the owners to pay 297 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 3: their bill at the end of the season, they claimed 298 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 3: they knew nothing about their caretaker hiring a plow guy 299 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 3: and refused to pay. They owed us about two thousand dollars. 300 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,040 Speaker 3: That wasn't much we could do about it. 301 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 2: That's big money. 302 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 3: Fast forward to spring, and we would occasionally drive by 303 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 3: the house on our way to take our dog to 304 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:18,240 Speaker 3: the beach, always commenting that they must be remembering to 305 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 3: pay their gardener because the yard always looked great. We 306 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,080 Speaker 3: had planted our own large vegetable garden, and as soon 307 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,920 Speaker 3: as things started fruiting, we had started having a problem 308 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 3: with groundhogs getting in and eating everything. 309 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,320 Speaker 2: That's what they do, they knew it. 310 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 3: My dad loaned us to have a heart trap to 311 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 3: catch the garden bandits, and when we caught our first one, 312 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 3: we had to decide where to release him. Her. Wait 313 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,400 Speaker 3: a second, I said, doesn't that house that didn't pay 314 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 3: their bill have a massive vegetable garden near the edge 315 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 3: of their property. Why, yes, yes they did. They also 316 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,040 Speaker 3: happened to live on a fairly private road with only 317 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 3: residential traffic and no visible neighbors. We loaded our new 318 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 3: friends up in the back of my husband's truck and 319 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,640 Speaker 3: made quick work of loading and free freeing the garden 320 00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:01,200 Speaker 3: bandit at his new fruitful home. Over that spring and summer, 321 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 3: I think we relocated four to five more of his friends, 322 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 3: five groundhogs. They're big animals. 323 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, your yard's toast. 324 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,640 Speaker 3: Our garden did great for the rest of the season, 325 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 3: and hopefully our furry friends got to enjoy an ocean 326 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 3: view with their snacks. 327 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,040 Speaker 2: Beautiful. 328 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 3: That was. That's so great. Pay your pay people, pay people. 329 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 2: Pull for the services, my god. 330 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 3: Especially if you have a house. If you have a 331 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:32,240 Speaker 3: house on the ocean anywhere, and anybody says I did 332 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,200 Speaker 3: this service for you, and they did do the service, 333 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 3: you pay them. You pay them. 334 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. 335 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 3: Absolutely, you have a second home. If you have a 336 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:42,240 Speaker 3: second home, you pay everybody. Pay everybody more, Pay everybody 337 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 3: one hundred percent more than they asked. Absolutely, you have 338 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 3: two homes. You are in your most privileged person in America. 339 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 2: That's pretty good retaliation too, because I'm sure those guys 340 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 2: are just impossible to get rid of. I Mississippi, is 341 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:02,360 Speaker 2: this dude, George uh An ex girlfriend's dad was a 342 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 2: very nice hippie, he explained himself. He was a stranger 343 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,440 Speaker 2: in a strange land. They were, you know, very prowed, 344 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 2: very very tied. I every day good fun people, and 345 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:17,359 Speaker 2: they were certainly pacifist who caught mice. I mean they 346 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,879 Speaker 2: would have mice in the winter. And one day, one 347 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,679 Speaker 2: day we drove out to the middle of a field. 348 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 2: I think this happened on two different occasions. Once in 349 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,640 Speaker 2: the backyard and where the mice ran directly back into 350 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,760 Speaker 2: the house like they were like, it's cold, and we 351 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,160 Speaker 2: let him go, and they just charged right back into 352 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 2: the open door, right past the dog and in back 353 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 2: in the house. And then this other time we took 354 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 2: him out to a field because we had learned our lesson, 355 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 2: and he's like, all right's good, you got to do 356 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 2: this with me, so drive it out. We open it up, 357 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 2: and those things just be lined right for his truck 358 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,320 Speaker 2: as far as we knew. They climbed up the tires 359 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,679 Speaker 2: and into the like the engine or whatever. But it 360 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,040 Speaker 2: was like no, like they were just like their heat 361 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 2: signature was like there, go, go go. And so it 362 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 2: was just a grown man with his long gray beard 363 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,480 Speaker 2: just running after mice that were going towards his toiled 364 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,360 Speaker 2: at Tacoma. And I was like, I wonder how far 365 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,920 Speaker 2: you have to push a pacifist hippie before he gets 366 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,359 Speaker 2: old school mouse traps. You know, at some point he's 367 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:10,439 Speaker 2: gonna be like, or just live with the mice, right, Oh? 368 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, or just live with the mice. Yeah, we had 369 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 3: we got we had a have a heart trap recently 370 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 3: cause I think I don't know, I talked a little 371 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,080 Speaker 3: bit about this, I think on the main pod, but 372 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:26,200 Speaker 3: we had skunks mating underneath the house. Yes, and uh 373 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 3: and when they made they squirt their spray a little bit, 374 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,680 Speaker 3: and so it just was really bad smell. So we 375 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:35,640 Speaker 3: found this company and basically, you like pay them money 376 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 3: and they just give you a have a heart trap. 377 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,720 Speaker 3: And I was like, why am I paying this company? 378 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,399 Speaker 3: I could buy I have a heart trap. They're not 379 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 3: that expensive. But what you're paying for is if when 380 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 3: you catch the skunk, they will relocate it for you. 381 00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 3: But that is technically, this is fascinating. In California, you're 382 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,560 Speaker 3: not allowed to relocate animals. 383 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,479 Speaker 2: Wild animal weird. I kind of get it a little bit. 384 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,119 Speaker 3: I think, I guess I at it. But also it's like, 385 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 3: you're only relocating an animal so you don't kill it, right, Yeah, 386 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,639 Speaker 3: And if you make it so that you can't relocate animals, 387 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,639 Speaker 3: then you're just gonna kill the animal, do you know 388 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 3: what I mean? Like, so it's like I understand on 389 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 3: one level, it's like, sure, we don't want to bring 390 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:19,080 Speaker 3: this species over here, but it's all California anyway. So 391 00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:20,760 Speaker 3: then I was like asking them on the phone. I 392 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,879 Speaker 3: was like, so you relocate it and we're they're like, 393 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 3: we take it away. And I'm like, and it lives, 394 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,800 Speaker 3: and they're like, it lives. Yeah, yeah, we can't necessarily 395 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,639 Speaker 3: say where we take it because it's not we're not 396 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 3: allowed to say we relocate animals. I was like, oh, okay, 397 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,000 Speaker 3: So there's just this like Catch twenty two day where 398 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,919 Speaker 3: they're like, we relocate it, but we can't say we 399 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,640 Speaker 3: relocate it. We just take it away. 400 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 2: I get it. 401 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 3: And we're trying to capture a skunk and we I 402 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 3: just captured every other animal that lives on the problem. 403 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 3: I never caught a single skug at all. 404 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,879 Speaker 2: Book if you ever need a picture book with Lauren, 405 00:19:56,119 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 2: just a trap, a trap in Los Angeles catching every animal, 406 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:06,040 Speaker 2: including the one mountain lion that lives and that has 407 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 2: now been seen on people's porches with ring cameras. 408 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,639 Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of people have been. I actually just 409 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,479 Speaker 3: saw it. It wasn't even a ban Animals sent it in. 410 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,479 Speaker 3: I think it was just like an Apple news or something. 411 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,920 Speaker 3: But yeah, it's like a house in the Hollywood Hills 412 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 3: and it's just like this, this giant lions size cat 413 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,160 Speaker 3: walking through their backyard like lapping at a hose or something. 414 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 2: I think they're cool. I think are awesome. They're so awesome. 415 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:32,600 Speaker 2: We saw at this another silly element of this really 416 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:36,640 Speaker 2: nice hotel. The Curtain I stayed in was the most 417 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,000 Speaker 2: wild things we saw constantly were giant turkeys, and you 418 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,919 Speaker 2: could hear them on premise. So just imagine you're in 419 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:47,160 Speaker 2: a comfy bed. It's a beautiful hotel in the trees, 420 00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:51,679 Speaker 2: and then you just hear all the time, all the time. 421 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,639 Speaker 3: And it was like one was in one pasture and 422 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,879 Speaker 3: the other one was like across the valley, so you 423 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 3: would hear like and then it would just be like 424 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,760 Speaker 3: five three. 425 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 2: Two yes, and which is so unsphisticated. 426 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,360 Speaker 3: Yes, oh I love that between you. 427 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 2: And the turkeys. I think we actually gave those smug 428 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,439 Speaker 2: couples something to talk about. Like we walked up to 429 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,199 Speaker 2: the pool and there were like five couples all on 430 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 2: their phones, nobody talking to each other, nobody in the water, 431 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,639 Speaker 2: and we just turned around and went somewhere else. We 432 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,439 Speaker 2: were like this socks, Yeah, it happens. 433 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,120 Speaker 3: We ended up having a good time. Well we did 434 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,160 Speaker 3: it again, folks. That's another minisode. 435 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:29,919 Speaker 2: Is it is books. 436 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 3: I want to thank you everybody, like Katie Levine for 437 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:35,800 Speaker 3: being our producer. 438 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 2: And a maggot who helps us organized these emails that 439 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 2: come in. And uh, thanks to all the beloved bananimals 440 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 2: for constantly whenever we ask you guys for something, you 441 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,800 Speaker 2: send it quick to volunteer, you send us unexpected bananas, 442 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,000 Speaker 2: you send us confessions, you come to the live shows, 443 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,280 Speaker 2: you buy the merch. You guys are great fans and 444 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 2: we really are delighted, pleasantly surprised, and very grateful for 445 00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:12,080 Speaker 2: all of you. Bananas Bananas is an exactly right media production. 446 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,440 Speaker 3: Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine. 447 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 2: The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon. 448 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 3: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard and. 449 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:25,160 Speaker 2: Our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia. 450 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 3: Hartstart and Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a 451 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 3: robot intern. 452 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,040 Speaker 2: You can listen, subscribe, and leave us reviews for Bananas 453 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 2: on Amazon Music, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your 454 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,480 Speaker 2: quality podcast and don't forget. 455 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 3: You can hear every episode one week early and ad free, 456 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:44,399 Speaker 3: plus bonus episodes by subscribing to Wondery Plus in the 457 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:45,160 Speaker 3: Wondery app