1 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:08,879 Speaker 1: Today's guest what I called myself. I am a spiritual technician, 2 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:11,840 Speaker 1: anything that has to do with your spirit, your soul, 3 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:15,560 Speaker 1: in your mind. Is there a secret in your opinion 4 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:19,759 Speaker 1: to overcoming hardships and coming out on the other side. Well, 5 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:24,239 Speaker 1: the first secret is don't call them hardships. My grandmother 6 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: told me when I started talking about spirit and meditating, 7 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: she said, oh, you're going straight down. So you know 8 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: what I did. I went out and bought a beautiful dress, 9 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: so when I get there, I'll be flying. Hi. Everyone, 10 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,600 Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Cheeks and Chill. I'm your host, 11 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 1: Cheeky's and today's episode is about something I'm very passionate about, 12 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: spirituality and self help. And our guest today is someone 13 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: who has been working in the space and helping people 14 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: for a very long time. So let's jump right into 15 00:00:55,360 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: this episode of Cheeks and Chow. Sitting right in front 16 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: of me today is even Vat. She's incredible. She has 17 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 1: a really interesting story, which we'll hear more about in 18 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: just a second, But first starter, she's a spiritual life coach, 19 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,320 Speaker 1: host of the hit show Illanla Fixed My Life, which 20 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: I love. She's a New York Times bestselling author, and 21 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 1: she even has her own podcast, it's called The Our Spot. Well, 22 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: first of all, thank you so much, thank you for 23 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 1: your time for being here. I'm so excited. I have 24 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: to start off by saying that I'm a huge fan. 25 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: I have your apps, I have The Awakening, I have 26 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: mine matters. I'm a huge, huge fan. So thank you. 27 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,679 Speaker 1: It means a lot to me that you're here. Um, So, 28 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 1: I don't know, let's start off with with your life. 29 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 1: There's a lot of things that I didn't know about you. 30 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: Where did you grow up. I grew up in Brooklyn. 31 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: I hailed from the Nation of Brooklyn, and I am 32 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: a New Yorker forever. I will always be a New Yorker. 33 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 1: I had an older brother, I had an older sister, 34 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 1: was a baby of a family, and so, you know, 35 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: classic poor black folk upbringing in New York. My grandmother, 36 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: who raised me from the time I was five until 37 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: I was eleven, was a Native American to slakey Cherokee, 38 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: who was passing as black because it was easier for 39 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 1: her to be black than it was for her to 40 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: be a Native American in the late forties early fifties, 41 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: and so she really kind of hid her her heritage 42 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 1: and her culture from the world. She hid it in 43 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: the church, she hit it in the way she presented 44 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,920 Speaker 1: herself in the world. But at home, you know, she 45 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: taught me so many things about my culture as a 46 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:50,839 Speaker 1: woman of color, Native culture, indigenous culture. She told us 47 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:55,640 Speaker 1: that she couldn't read. She never went to school, but 48 00:02:55,840 --> 00:03:01,239 Speaker 1: she read the Bible, and she would read the newspaper. 49 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 1: And I would say to her, well, if you can't read, 50 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 1: how are you what are you doing? She if somebody 51 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: told it to her, she remembered it, and that's how 52 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 1: she began to put words together and could do simple sentences, 53 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 1: very articulate. She would never know she was a woman 54 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: who couldn't actually well, she says, she couldn't read, but 55 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,160 Speaker 1: she could put simple sentences together. And and it was 56 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: not too long ago. I never saw my grandmother write 57 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:33,080 Speaker 1: anything other than numbers. And she knew how to sign 58 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: her name, but I never saw her write anything other 59 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: than numbers. She never wrote anything down. And she used 60 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: to say, you gotta have a good memory. I don't 61 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 1: have to write things down. I got a good memory. 62 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 1: You know that's actually better probably having a better memory. 63 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: Good memory. Yeah, yeah, when did you know that this 64 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 1: was your calling, Like, was that you think through your grandmother, 65 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: like having those conversations with her. Absolutely not, I'm a 66 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: criminal defensive attorney. That's high school early childhood education. I 67 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 1: spent two weeks in the classroom with about kindergarteners and 68 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: I said, Okay, just cut my throat right now, let 69 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 1: me die. Not for me. Early childhood psychology and education 70 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 1: is my undergraduate degree. And then I went to law school. 71 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 1: I wanted to be a nurse all my life. I 72 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: wanted to wear the white uniform. Years ago, nurses wore 73 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,480 Speaker 1: white uniforms and they had little hats. But um, one 74 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,800 Speaker 1: day in nursing school let me know that I was 75 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,239 Speaker 1: going to have to dissect the pig. And I left. 76 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:40,360 Speaker 1: That was he said, No, I got through the frog 77 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 1: in high school. I did. God, I don't know how 78 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:49,159 Speaker 1: I got through that. I remember gagging and wretching over 79 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 1: the frog. But I was not gonna stick my hand 80 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,680 Speaker 1: down in a jar from Aldehad and put out a 81 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 1: baby pig. That wasn't ever gonna happen in this life time. 82 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: So I left and I went to law school. When 83 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: I was thirty two, I graduated from college and I 84 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 1: went to law school, and I really thought I was 85 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: going to be a lawyer, and um, I wanted to 86 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: be the black female Perry Mason get all my clients off. 87 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 1: And as a criminal defense attorney, you spent a lot 88 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: of time in jail, so because that's where your clients are. 89 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:33,040 Speaker 1: And since I had never been arrested, I'm thinking, why 90 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: am I in jail every year? And so I left 91 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: and I had no clue what I was gonna do. 92 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: It just kind of unfolded. As I was collecting unemployment 93 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 1: and a friend of mine asked me to come in. 94 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 1: Would I be willing to teach life school skills life 95 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 1: skills to women who were being transitioned off of public assistance, 96 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: which is exactly what happened to me. So I went 97 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:05,919 Speaker 1: in and I started teaching life skills and my first book, 98 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: Tapping the Power Within, is the workbook that I wrote 99 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: for the women that I was teaching life skills too. 100 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 1: And one step at a time, it just kind of unfolded. 101 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 1: I mean, what what do I do? What do I call? 102 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: What I do I do? I what do I do 103 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,239 Speaker 1: that I would have to look forward at a career 104 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:30,480 Speaker 1: fair I don't know, you know, I wasn't. I'm an author. 105 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,279 Speaker 1: I'm a I am a spiritual life coach trained. I 106 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: am a minister, you know, seminary trained and ordained. What 107 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 1: I called myself um because I think it's always best 108 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 1: to define yourself and not to try to fit into 109 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: the boxes that people want to stick you in. I 110 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 1: am a spiritual technician. If it has anything to do 111 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: with the human spirit, the human soul and connection to consciousness, 112 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 1: I'm a technician. I have a technology that's going to 113 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: support you and and fixing, healing, repairing, aligning, expanding, growing, healing, 114 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,680 Speaker 1: anything that has to do with your spirit, your soul 115 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: and your mind. Just right up my alley. That's exactly 116 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 1: what I love. You've been through so much since you 117 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 1: were nine years old, you know, And did you ever 118 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 1: question maybe God or the higher power of the universe, 119 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 1: like why did this happen to me? Did you ever 120 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:33,240 Speaker 1: have that moment? No, that's great. I didn't even know 121 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 1: I was raped at nine. I didn't know it was 122 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,440 Speaker 1: called rape until I was thirty. Oh, I didn't even know. 123 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: I didn't know what I mean, it had never happened. 124 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: I had never seen it. Nobody ever talked about it, 125 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,720 Speaker 1: you know. As an indigenous culture, you don't talk about 126 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 1: things like that. And in the black culture too, you know, 127 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: you don't talk about it. That's why so many girls 128 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 1: and boys, or young women and young men suffer because 129 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: this thing has happened and it's horrible, and they don't 130 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 1: feel free to talk about it, so it becomes repetitive. 131 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: That wasn't my case. It happened one time I told 132 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:11,239 Speaker 1: and the results of me telling about it were almost 133 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 1: worse than if I hadn't said anything, because the results 134 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 1: were he called me a liar, and nothing else was 135 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: ever done. Nothing. So I grew up believing that it's 136 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: okay for people to treat me badly. What happens to 137 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 1: me doesn't matter. I'm not important. And so those were 138 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: lessons that I, you know, had to unlearn in my life. 139 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: And I didn't even because nothing was ever said, and 140 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 1: they don't do in my era, they didn't do sex education. 141 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 1: So that was like thirty years old looking at a 142 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,560 Speaker 1: TV show and I said, well that happened to me, 143 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I was raped. I didn't know. I 144 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: didn't know that's what you called it. So as I said, 145 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,439 Speaker 1: I wanted to be a nurse, Nursing is a healing profession. 146 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 1: Nurses take care of you when you're sick and you're 147 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 1: not well. Uh, And that's what I do. I just 148 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 1: instead of doing it to your body, I do it 149 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,960 Speaker 1: for your soul in your mind. That's what I love. 150 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,440 Speaker 1: And you never held any resentment or anything like did 151 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:16,080 Speaker 1: you ever feel you had to forgive that person or 152 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 1: it was just kind of like an out of sight, 153 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 1: out of mine situation. But the time I realized that 154 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 1: that was not a normal thing to happen, I had 155 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:32,240 Speaker 1: to forgive myself for everything that I told myself about it. 156 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 1: I'm not important. What happens to me doesn't matter. It's 157 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,440 Speaker 1: okay for people to treat me badly. I can't talk 158 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,200 Speaker 1: about the things that hurt me. I mean, I did 159 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 1: that to myself. Nobody told me anything. So by the 160 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,479 Speaker 1: time I understood the power of forgiveness and what forgiveness 161 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 1: was all about, it wasn't even about forgiving him. Plus 162 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: he was dead. I was alive and I was suffering, 163 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: and that's what I wanted to heal up. That's what 164 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,199 Speaker 1: I always say. Forgiveness is a gift for yourself. It 165 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 1: gives you, you know, like the wings to fly into 166 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: sore is how I feel. I was actually sexually abused 167 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 1: by my father. My dad never admitted to it, we 168 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,560 Speaker 1: never asked for forgiveness. For a long time, I wanted 169 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:14,640 Speaker 1: to hear it, you know, I wanted to hear, yes, 170 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: I did it, You're not a liar. I'm sorry. He's 171 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:19,199 Speaker 1: in jail. He's going to be there for another I 172 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 1: don't know, seventeen years or something like that. But now 173 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, I because of that, the 174 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: same thing I would think I was. I was dirty, 175 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: I'm not worthy. I I so many things that happened 176 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 1: and I thought and yeah, I mean, at the end 177 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 1: of the say, I'm gonna forgive you, and I'm also 178 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: forgive myself for thinking those things and thinking that the 179 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 1: things that you said were correct, that I was a liar. 180 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 1: You know. So anyhow do you feel that everything happens 181 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: for a reason? Oh? Absolutely, I don't feel that that's 182 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 1: universal law cause and effect. Yeah. I think one of 183 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 1: the hardest concepts for people to get is that you know, 184 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 1: we come here and that part of us that is alive, 185 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,200 Speaker 1: that soul, knows what you need to learn, unlearn, what 186 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 1: you need to do, not do knows your purpose, knows 187 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,600 Speaker 1: your everything, and we're so busy out in the world 188 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:08,959 Speaker 1: till we don't go in UM. One of the reasons 189 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 1: I can work with almost anybody around anything is because 190 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,680 Speaker 1: I've been through most of it. So I'm not teaching 191 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: you from theory and pragmatism. I'm teaching you from experience, 192 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,439 Speaker 1: and I continue to take it deeper and deeper. Everything 193 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: is exactly as it needs to be. Of course, the 194 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 1: miracles UH teaches that all things are lessons that God 195 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:34,319 Speaker 1: would have us learned. So we're always learning, always learning. 196 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:39,680 Speaker 1: Once you get back it gets exciting. Well, my husband 197 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: left me. Well what am I learning today? Yeah? I 198 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:50,160 Speaker 1: fell out? Oh what am I learning about this? Yeah? 199 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,720 Speaker 1: That's what I always tell people, Like, you know what, 200 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: you're in a tight situation. You can't see the light 201 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 1: at the end of the tunnel. But it's it's kind 202 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,319 Speaker 1: of like exactly that, like they're you're going through that 203 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:04,720 Speaker 1: to learn something about yourself about the situation. So okay, 204 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: I'm good. I think I'm on the right track. I 205 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 1: have a very odd question, and you don't have to 206 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,680 Speaker 1: answer it if you don't want to, obviously, But do 207 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 1: you drink alcohol? By any chance. I absolutely don't. But 208 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 1: let me tell you why. My mother was an alcoholic. Okay, 209 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 1: so I think I drank so much looking the wound, 210 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 1: I didn't have to have no more when I got 211 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:37,320 Speaker 1: into physical body. Really, I never, I have never, you know, 212 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 1: when I was a teenager, of course, you know, everybody 213 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,440 Speaker 1: goes out and you're drinking. We used to drink uh 214 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 1: saying grea with fruit in it. That was yeah, yeah, 215 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 1: So but I've never. I've never. No, it's not my thing. 216 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:56,679 Speaker 1: And I smoked a lot of happy flowers. I love 217 00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: happy flower baby. I have smoked. I'm happy hours. When 218 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 1: I had my last child, I was twenty one years old, 219 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 1: it just, you know, it's like it just went away 220 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:12,199 Speaker 1: and I've never. I never touched it again. Now it's legal. 221 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,199 Speaker 1: You know, back then we were buying a nickel bag 222 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,960 Speaker 1: and hiding it in fifty two shopping bags under the bed. 223 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 1: And you, I mean, you fix so many people like 224 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 1: do you have a life coach, do you have a 225 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 1: mentor or something that someone that helps you out? Well, 226 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: first of all, let me just say, I don't know 227 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:30,240 Speaker 1: what anybody else says. I haven't helped anybody. What I've 228 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 1: done it's given people information and support so that they 229 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 1: can help themselves. I don't help you. I'm too busy 230 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 1: trying to help my own self, and you get helped 231 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: in the process of my healing. Go for you. I'm 232 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 1: just trying. What has happened is throughout my my healing process. 233 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:53,200 Speaker 1: I've taken copious notes, really taking copy. I have notebooks 234 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:57,520 Speaker 1: and revelations and understandings. But I do I have a coach. 235 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 1: I have two coaches. I also have of what I 236 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:07,520 Speaker 1: call a prayer partner UM, and I have UM. I 237 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 1: don't know what Peter is. Peter is a coach. You know, 238 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 1: he's a clinical psychologist, but I don't go to him 239 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 1: for therapy. We do coaching together. And then my greatest 240 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 1: coaches are those people that I've taught and trained because 241 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 1: they keep me sharp when I'm going off the deep end, 242 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 1: they say, wait a minute, didn't you teach us? Or 243 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 1: don't you know? And when they repeat back to me 244 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 1: stuff that I taught them, I just want to punch 245 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 1: him in the throat, right in the throat. That's terrible 246 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 1: when your students are teaching you with what you taught them. 247 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 1: So didn't you say this right? Uh? No, this is 248 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,640 Speaker 1: how they usually said. They said, somebody once told me, 249 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,520 Speaker 1: and then I know I'm getting ready for the SmackDown. 250 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 1: So yeah, but I do have two coaches and a 251 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 1: prayer partner. I am to find myself a prayer partner. 252 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,720 Speaker 1: That's what I need. Yeah, always say this, I'm not 253 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: a religious woman. I'm very spiritual. I have a connection 254 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,960 Speaker 1: with God. I like to meditate and I feel like 255 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 1: that's like my main coach. But I do. That is 256 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 1: your religion if that's what you do. You know, religion 257 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 1: is people's beliefs and opinions about God's source, creator, whatever 258 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 1: you want to call it. That's all religion is. It's 259 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:24,080 Speaker 1: people's opinions and the dogma or the theology that's set 260 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 1: up based on the faith path that you walk is 261 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 1: what you do based on that theology. All religion is 262 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:34,640 Speaker 1: about how to get us in relationship with the God 263 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:38,920 Speaker 1: of our understanding. So of meditation, yoga, you know, some 264 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 1: for some people it's tai chi. If that is what 265 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,720 Speaker 1: gets you in connection with the creative, your understanding, then 266 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,360 Speaker 1: that is your religion. I want people to really get 267 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 1: clear about that and stop saying I'm not religious, but 268 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:55,000 Speaker 1: I'm spiritual I meditate. Well, then you're religious, but I'm religious. Yeah, 269 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 1: My religion is called love and faith, right, Okay, I'm 270 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,920 Speaker 1: in love the great religion that there is. You know. 271 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 1: I'm getting ready to teach a class. I have a 272 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,720 Speaker 1: community I call the Spiritual Study Sanctuary, and I'm getting 273 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: ready to teach a class on how to love the 274 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 1: Bible from a metaphysical perspective, not a religious perspective, because 275 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 1: it is one of the most powerful treatise on human development, 276 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 1: character development, spiritual development. But because of the way it's 277 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:29,360 Speaker 1: been used and weaponized or diminished or just pigeonhole to 278 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 1: be about Christianity, people miss the wisdom that is in there, 279 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 1: and there's so much wisdom in the scriptures. I want 280 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,800 Speaker 1: to see if you can help me break something down 281 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 1: because I've I've tried to put it into words, and 282 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,160 Speaker 1: I feel like I know what this means, but I 283 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 1: want to see if you can break it down for 284 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:50,000 Speaker 1: for our listeners. Actually, I think I heard Beyonce say it. 285 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 1: I think I'm pretty sure it was her. What she said, 286 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,560 Speaker 1: there's a little bit of God in all of us. 287 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:58,640 Speaker 1: God lives in me as me, and I try to 288 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,040 Speaker 1: tell my grandmother that, and she's a very she's a 289 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:04,960 Speaker 1: Christian woman, and she didn't understand. She didn't really like it. 290 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 1: She was like, no, how can you compare yourself to that? 291 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I didn't know how to explain it. 292 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: So I want to see if you can help me. Well, 293 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,960 Speaker 1: Grandma's never gonna understand that unless she wants to. Okay, 294 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,600 Speaker 1: my grandmother told me forever when I started talking about 295 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,200 Speaker 1: spirit and meditating, she said, oh, you're going straight to hell. 296 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,639 Speaker 1: That's what I'm going straight to hell. And so you 297 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 1: know what I did. I went out and bought a 298 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 1: beautiful dress. So when I get there, I'll be flying. 299 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,440 Speaker 1: I just decided I'm not gonna be afraid of hell. 300 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,680 Speaker 1: You see, I was married to a man who beat 301 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:41,880 Speaker 1: me every day for nine years. That's hell. Leaving him 302 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 1: at three o'clock in the morning with three babies and 303 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:47,880 Speaker 1: three shopping bags, that's hell. So wherever I'm going when 304 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:50,879 Speaker 1: I leave this body, wherever I'm supposed to rest, I 305 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 1: want the party. So I got little dress. I'm going 306 00:17:53,320 --> 00:18:01,399 Speaker 1: to Hell. Okay, I'm a little good. So the thing is, 307 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:06,679 Speaker 1: And that is part of the challenge with religiosity and 308 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:12,400 Speaker 1: church unity. Religiosity says that somebody else tells you about 309 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 1: your relationship with the God of your understanding. Most of 310 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,200 Speaker 1: us inherited the God we believe in. We didn't find 311 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,280 Speaker 1: it on our own. And then church yanity where you've 312 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 1: gotta go and have somebody else tell you how to 313 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:31,680 Speaker 1: be in relationship with the God of your understanding. All 314 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,639 Speaker 1: of that teaches us to pray to an external god. 315 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 1: God is out there, you know. In the Christian faith, 316 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,440 Speaker 1: that's Jesus. He's on the cross, and you know he's 317 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,840 Speaker 1: all He's going to do it for us. And it's 318 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 1: such a dysfunctional level of codependence when we're relying on 319 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 1: Jesus to help us treat each other nice. We don't 320 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 1: do it because it's in we grow the quality and 321 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:58,040 Speaker 1: a heart kindness, loving, kindness, compassion. We don't grow this 322 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 1: in a heart. We do it because we're trying to 323 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 1: please Jesus. That's a little off, I think to me anyway, 324 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 1: I don't have no problem with Jesus. Me and j 325 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 1: C are cool. But when you understand what he said, 326 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:17,439 Speaker 1: these things I have done, you should do this and 327 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,120 Speaker 1: even greater, Well, how how how am I gonna do that? 328 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 1: When he said, it is not I, but the spirit 329 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,200 Speaker 1: of the Father within me that does the word. When 330 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,639 Speaker 1: he said I come that you may have life and 331 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,679 Speaker 1: have it more abundantly, not by waiting for me to 332 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,720 Speaker 1: do it for you, but by you learning how to 333 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,879 Speaker 1: do what I did. What did he do? He prayed 334 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,639 Speaker 1: a lot. He went away a lot every now and 335 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,159 Speaker 1: then you read in the Bible and said Jesus went away. 336 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,400 Speaker 1: I wonder if he was in a vacation club or something, 337 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,920 Speaker 1: because he was always going. He was always going on 338 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,919 Speaker 1: Why he went into silence, he went into stillness. He 339 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:02,919 Speaker 1: developed his relationship with the God within. It's not me, 340 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,480 Speaker 1: it's the Father within me that does the where he 341 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 1: said it so, God is not external, whether it's God, 342 00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:14,399 Speaker 1: divine Mind, divine Mother, whatever it is, that is of 343 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 1: your understanding, because the creator wants you to understand what 344 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 1: it is and where it is, who it is, how 345 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:24,400 Speaker 1: it is. But Grandma, like my grandma, you know, they've 346 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:29,879 Speaker 1: been indoctrinated in the matrix of Churchianity and religiosity, and 347 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:34,600 Speaker 1: they don't have to take responsibility for their salvation. It's 348 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 1: on Jesus. If I do what Jesus says, If I 349 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,640 Speaker 1: do it what Jesus wants then. But now in this 350 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,919 Speaker 1: new age, this new millennium, the Aquarian age, we're taken 351 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:48,800 Speaker 1: responsibility for ourselves. Are I am ness our souls and 352 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,880 Speaker 1: we don't want to pray to an outside God. That's 353 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 1: not satisfying us anymore because we're a different breed in 354 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:03,239 Speaker 1: this era. So yes, this spirit of God is within me. 355 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 1: And those who worship God must worship God in spirit 356 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:11,080 Speaker 1: and in truth. In spirit, so we have to understand 357 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:15,840 Speaker 1: what spirit is. There's only one spirit. God is spirit Spirit, 358 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,080 Speaker 1: not a man out there or you know. And it's 359 00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,399 Speaker 1: so funny that all of us walking around with breast 360 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 1: and vaginas and we're looking at a man and say, 361 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,920 Speaker 1: I'm made any image and the likeness of Gay, well 362 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: is he trans What? How did I get this? Because 363 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 1: the domma doesn't tell us about the feminine energy and 364 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 1: expression of the Creator. So if I had to explain 365 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 1: it to somebody, this is what I would say. Take 366 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:48,400 Speaker 1: a breath, focus within, and ask God to reveal itself 367 00:21:48,400 --> 00:22:06,160 Speaker 1: to you. I'm not gonna try to explain the unexplainable. Okay, okay, 368 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 1: what's the secret or is there a secret? In your 369 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,679 Speaker 1: opinion to over overcoming hardships and and coming out on 370 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 1: the other side. Well, the first secret is don't call 371 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 1: them hardships. Go back to what we were saying earlier, 372 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:26,520 Speaker 1: which is, Okay, what am I learning here? You know? Recently, 373 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,920 Speaker 1: I have you know, all these modern fend angle dulies. 374 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,719 Speaker 1: So I have a geo thermal heating system so that 375 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,399 Speaker 1: my house is heated from the warmth of the earth, 376 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 1: not from oil or electricity or whatever. And my geo 377 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:43,600 Speaker 1: thermal heating system went out, the coils went out and whatever. 378 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,440 Speaker 1: So we're talking about digging down twenty ft in the earth, 379 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,160 Speaker 1: and that's quite expensive. Well, the day after the geo 380 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 1: thermal system went out, my stovetop cook thing went out. 381 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,440 Speaker 1: My stove just wouldn't cook. It just it wouldn't. It 382 00:22:56,480 --> 00:23:00,120 Speaker 1: wouldn't do nothing. So it's one thing right after the 383 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,119 Speaker 1: one thing right after the other. And the good news 384 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,560 Speaker 1: is I can buy a stove top, and I can 385 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:09,119 Speaker 1: put the deal thermal system on a payment plan, you know, 386 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 1: and pay it off, you know, and whatever. But not 387 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,879 Speaker 1: to look at that as childs and difficulties and and 388 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:18,920 Speaker 1: to say, okay, God, how are we gonna get this done? 389 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 1: This is quite interested. So what am I learning. I'm 390 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,480 Speaker 1: learning trust, I'm learning patients. Because at the same time, 391 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 1: I went to Chipotle to get my grandson some tacos, 392 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:31,919 Speaker 1: and I'm standing in the line and I get to 393 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,320 Speaker 1: the cash register and the lady says, he paid for 394 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:37,679 Speaker 1: your food. I go to the supermarket, I mean, and 395 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,240 Speaker 1: to the Starbucks, and I'm standing in line. I get 396 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,680 Speaker 1: to the register and she says, you're good. I said, 397 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,640 Speaker 1: what do you mean you're good? She said, the lady 398 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:48,800 Speaker 1: back there paid for your drink. I went to the 399 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,440 Speaker 1: market yesterday and I'm standing in line and the gentleman 400 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,119 Speaker 1: in front of me, he says, can I pay for 401 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 1: it what you're getting? I was buying a pretzel from 402 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,440 Speaker 1: the Amish market and I said, but I don't even 403 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,480 Speaker 1: know what I'm in And yet he said, that's okay. 404 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,040 Speaker 1: He said, I'm gonna give her twenty dollars. Get what 405 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,359 Speaker 1: you want, and he says to the woman, you keep 406 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,159 Speaker 1: whatever's left. I was getting a three dollar pretzel and 407 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:14,440 Speaker 1: you got a seventeen dollar tip from him buying near pretzel. 408 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 1: You know. So, yeah, the the seeting systems broke and 409 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 1: the I don't have a stove, and you know, it's 410 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,720 Speaker 1: very annoying and blah blah blah. But somebody I don't 411 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:29,000 Speaker 1: know bought me a pretzel, uh Starbucks and pay for 412 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:37,480 Speaker 1: my tacos into pola. You know. Okay, okay, I got 413 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,280 Speaker 1: your back. I got your back, bull I got your back, 414 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:45,119 Speaker 1: we got your we got this. Let me handle this. 415 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 1: But if we go into break down and hysteria and 416 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 1: whining and complaining, that energy in and of itself creates 417 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:57,720 Speaker 1: more problems than the original problem. Here's what they taught me. 418 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,240 Speaker 1: When I say they, I did my master's degree rein 419 00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:04,400 Speaker 1: spiritual psychology at the University of Santa Monica and I 420 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 1: was taught this. How you handle the issue is the issue. 421 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 1: But here's the real thing. How you handle yourself as 422 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:24,080 Speaker 1: you handle the issue is the real issue. How you know, 423 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,480 Speaker 1: how am I being with myself? How am I speaking 424 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,120 Speaker 1: to myself? How am I talking to myself? What am 425 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:33,240 Speaker 1: I thinking about myself? What am I telling myself? How 426 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:38,159 Speaker 1: I handle myself as I handle the issue is the 427 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:44,720 Speaker 1: real issue. So yeah, it's important. Well, I feel like 428 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,920 Speaker 1: I've learned so much. I'm assuming the listeners as well. 429 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,760 Speaker 1: But is there any are there any tips that you 430 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,280 Speaker 1: have that can I don't know. I mean, you've given 431 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,080 Speaker 1: us so many, but something, something that you feel in 432 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,399 Speaker 1: your heart right now to tell the listeners something that 433 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,200 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure it's going to help them. Well, 434 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,600 Speaker 1: I think that the universe is saying it to us. 435 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:08,080 Speaker 1: It said it to us in one Go home, Go home, 436 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:14,520 Speaker 1: Be still. We are so busy, so busy between the 437 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,000 Speaker 1: technology and running up and down the roads, running out, 438 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,280 Speaker 1: and be still, go home. And home is where the 439 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:24,520 Speaker 1: heart is. And for me, that says what brings you joy. 440 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,320 Speaker 1: One of my coaches said something to me about two 441 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: weeks ago that I'm still working on. I had to 442 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,280 Speaker 1: clutch my pearls. I clutched my prols so tied, almost 443 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:39,639 Speaker 1: choked myself to death. He said. He said, Okay, so 444 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:43,639 Speaker 1: you're doing all of that for my ministry. You're teaching this, 445 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:45,960 Speaker 1: and you're doing this, and what is the ministry doing 446 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:53,600 Speaker 1: for you? What? So I would say to people to 447 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:57,679 Speaker 1: be real clear about what you're giving out and what 448 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:03,000 Speaker 1: you're getting back. Oh, because we all spend so much 449 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:06,239 Speaker 1: time preoccupying ourselves, but what we have to do for 450 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,879 Speaker 1: the job and the this and the that, But what 451 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:12,119 Speaker 1: is that thing bringing back to you is it bringing 452 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:17,040 Speaker 1: anything home to you, because home is where the heart is. 453 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:21,960 Speaker 1: Corona said, go home, go home, and get still. So 454 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,000 Speaker 1: if you want to, you want to know what all 455 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,520 Speaker 1: of this giving out you're doing, get still and see 456 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 1: what you're getting back. And when I realized was my 457 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,919 Speaker 1: ministry wasn't doing nothing for me but giving me some 458 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,400 Speaker 1: more work to do. So I have to stay. Wait 459 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,119 Speaker 1: a minute, hold up, let me reach. I got to 460 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:39,880 Speaker 1: restructure this because I have to get something back from 461 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 1: all the giving that I'm doing. That's why those people 462 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:46,280 Speaker 1: in the stores well buying everything for giving me back. 463 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,919 Speaker 1: So that's what I got back from my ministry. I 464 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,679 Speaker 1: got a caramel ribbon crunch and I got three tacos, 465 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 1: and then I got a presser from now can we 466 00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 1: get bigger? Can we get some more? The other thing 467 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,800 Speaker 1: I think people need to know is look around in 468 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,240 Speaker 1: the world right now, whether you're looking at the political 469 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 1: scene or you're looking at the economic scene, whether you're 470 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,120 Speaker 1: looking at you know, just at the level of against 471 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:18,320 Speaker 1: nous and meanness is just amazing to me. But whatever 472 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,320 Speaker 1: you see out there, ask yourself, how do I do this? 473 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,200 Speaker 1: How do I lie? How do I bully people? How 474 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,560 Speaker 1: do I shut people down? How do I take and 475 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,000 Speaker 1: not give back? How do I push my way? How 476 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 1: do I co opt people? I mean, because this is 477 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 1: what we see out of there? Where is my against nous? 478 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 1: Where am I dug in? What's my position? Because whatever 479 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,880 Speaker 1: your position is, that determines how you're going to see 480 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:48,400 Speaker 1: a particular thing. Your position determines your perspective. So if 481 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,640 Speaker 1: your position is this is wrong, you're gonna see it 482 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,800 Speaker 1: all is wrong. If your position is this is right, 483 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,800 Speaker 1: you're not going to see what is wrong or what 484 00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 1: could be improved. If your position is I'm right there wrong, 485 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 1: then you're not going to be even able to see 486 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 1: their perspective. So what is your position on anything? Gets 487 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 1: still and get clear about that. The other thing I 488 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:14,040 Speaker 1: would say is anything that you're against, anything you don't like, 489 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,719 Speaker 1: anything you don't want, anything you complain about, whine about. 490 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 1: Invite that thing to tea and let it talk to 491 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:25,160 Speaker 1: you and find out what's really really going on. Just 492 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 1: let me sit let me sit down with my pro 493 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:34,080 Speaker 1: life philosophy, my uh you know, uh, anti abortion philosophy. 494 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 1: Let me sit down with my democratic philosophy and let 495 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,840 Speaker 1: me have some tea with it, and let me see 496 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:43,600 Speaker 1: what it's really giving to me. Let's giving to me, 497 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 1: and what is my position on it. It's exciting to me. 498 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,520 Speaker 1: It's so much work that we need to do on 499 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,800 Speaker 1: ourselves as individuals to make the world a better place. 500 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,680 Speaker 1: Then we don't have time for all of the wahala 501 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:01,480 Speaker 1: and conflomeration. If you just then sometime with you, you 502 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 1: don't have time to be on Facebook canceling people canceling 503 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:10,720 Speaker 1: and black on TikTok, dancing on the poles. Set yourself 504 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:17,040 Speaker 1: down somewhere. Look at you. You're speaking to me. You're 505 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:20,719 Speaker 1: speaking to me because I feel like my soul has 506 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,000 Speaker 1: been telling me to just sit down and be still. 507 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:26,320 Speaker 1: And I'm gonna take a few weeks off because I've 508 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,720 Speaker 1: been feeling a little depleted. I really have with with 509 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,840 Speaker 1: work and I feel like I've been giving so much 510 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 1: it's crazy. I'm like, you're you are got is speaking 511 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,920 Speaker 1: to me through you right now? Now before I forget 512 00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: the the our Spot, talk to me about it. That's 513 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 1: your podcast. Oh yes, listen. I used to do the 514 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:47,280 Speaker 1: Our Spot every Tuesday on YouTube where I would go 515 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:51,120 Speaker 1: in and answer people's questions about relationships because the truth is, 516 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:56,040 Speaker 1: relationships are our salvation. We're in relationship with everything. You're 517 00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,480 Speaker 1: in relationship with people, your relationship with work, your relationship 518 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:03,000 Speaker 1: with the Ironman, you're in relationship with money. You are 519 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:07,320 Speaker 1: in relationship with everything. And a lot of the challenges 520 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,719 Speaker 1: that I see or have encountered in my work with 521 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,840 Speaker 1: people over these thirty five years is that we have 522 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:19,080 Speaker 1: very dysfunctional relationships. We have dysfunctional relationships with people, with 523 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,600 Speaker 1: our lovers, with our kids, with our money, with the world, 524 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:26,800 Speaker 1: with God. We have dysfunctional relationships. So the our spot 525 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 1: is that place where we come to talk about relationships, 526 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,960 Speaker 1: all kinds of relationships. I don't care what it is 527 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:39,080 Speaker 1: so because what I learned for myself in my own 528 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:43,280 Speaker 1: dysfunction was it I meant good, but I simply didn't 529 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,360 Speaker 1: have tools and skills. I didn't, you know, I watched 530 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 1: a womanizing father and an emotionally unavailable father and a broken, 531 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 1: wounded grandmother raised me, you know, with with no I 532 00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,959 Speaker 1: don't even know what I think. Most of the time, 533 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,880 Speaker 1: I was the healthiest one in the house. And then 534 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:09,280 Speaker 1: I went into uh family environment with a domestic violence 535 00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:13,280 Speaker 1: and alcoholic uncle that's the one who raped me, and 536 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:18,360 Speaker 1: silent dysfunctional onto it was. You know, I could go 537 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,680 Speaker 1: on and on, but I didn't know anything about relationships 538 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,640 Speaker 1: other than they were supposed to make me feel good. 539 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 1: I like you, you like me. We do the wild thing, 540 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,760 Speaker 1: We smoke a lot happy flowers, and then we pay 541 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:35,360 Speaker 1: the rent. Okay, you're gonna pay the light bill. Know, 542 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,160 Speaker 1: we just talked about happy flowers and we didn't talk 543 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 1: about raising kids and light bill and spiritually all of them. 544 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:47,520 Speaker 1: It's just crazy. So my intention, because I think intention 545 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:51,040 Speaker 1: is the greatest tool we can have, is to support 546 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:55,760 Speaker 1: people in developing the skills and the tools required to 547 00:32:55,880 --> 00:33:01,160 Speaker 1: build healthy, fulfilling, lasting, loving relationships in every area of 548 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,760 Speaker 1: their life. Somebody accused me of something the other day. 549 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,480 Speaker 1: They said, will you call so and so will be? 550 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:09,320 Speaker 1: I said, no, no, not me. You will never hear 551 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 1: out of these mouth this mouth right here. I don't 552 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,240 Speaker 1: know what you think you heard, but I would never 553 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:18,200 Speaker 1: call another sister a be never. I would never do 554 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:21,360 Speaker 1: that unless we're using it in a context of healing 555 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,720 Speaker 1: and growing, because that word has a different context for me. 556 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,360 Speaker 1: But in anger to say that to her, said I 557 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,720 Speaker 1: would never say that. I want women to have a 558 00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:33,160 Speaker 1: better relationship with each other. I want women to have 559 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:37,280 Speaker 1: a better relationship with men. I want men brothers, brothers. 560 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:41,200 Speaker 1: You are my sister. You are my sister. So come 561 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,920 Speaker 1: to the our spot. Let's talk about your relationship with 562 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,960 Speaker 1: each other, with people with money, with your pets. Now, 563 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,280 Speaker 1: how can people treat their pets better than they treat 564 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:53,480 Speaker 1: other people? It's that's so true. We got I don't 565 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,680 Speaker 1: know how many children hungry in the world, and people 566 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,720 Speaker 1: are walking around pushing their dogs in a in a stoller. 567 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,520 Speaker 1: You could have take that stroll of money and fed 568 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,080 Speaker 1: some hungry children somewhere with all of the level of 569 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:08,880 Speaker 1: food insecurity that we have here. That's just my perspective. 570 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:13,399 Speaker 1: I'm ready to shift my position. So you guys heard 571 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,279 Speaker 1: it here. You guys have to listen to the our 572 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:19,040 Speaker 1: I definitely am. It sounds right like exactly what I 573 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,279 Speaker 1: need in my life. Where can they find you? Share 574 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:26,040 Speaker 1: your social media, your website. Please Yama dot com. Particularly 575 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,719 Speaker 1: if you want to do to how to love the 576 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:31,960 Speaker 1: Bible a metaphysical interpretation, I'd love to have you Yama 577 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,360 Speaker 1: dot com. You can find out about all my classes 578 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:37,960 Speaker 1: and everything. Then I have Masterpiece Body Therapy, which is 579 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,960 Speaker 1: a line of natural body products made with herbs oils 580 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,600 Speaker 1: and African black soap so that as you clean your body, 581 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:51,360 Speaker 1: you clear your energy because everything is energy and you 582 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:56,320 Speaker 1: can hear. They are spot on, I Heart Radio, Shondaland Media, Spotify, 583 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,920 Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcast, just put my name and 584 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,880 Speaker 1: spell it right I Y A N l A, because 585 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:06,799 Speaker 1: if not, you're gonna get Isaac. When people spell my name, 586 00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:13,359 Speaker 1: what comes up is Isaac. Yes. Yeah, but any place 587 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,680 Speaker 1: you listen to podcasts you can get the RSPO. Okay, 588 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:20,440 Speaker 1: well I'm excited, I really am. Thanks again, and you 589 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,719 Speaker 1: guys know we always finished the episode of Chickens and 590 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:31,799 Speaker 1: Chill with a motivational quote. Today's quote is you can't 591 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,160 Speaker 1: go back and change the beginning, but you can start 592 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:37,360 Speaker 1: where you are and change the ending. That is my 593 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:40,080 Speaker 1: quote for you. Thank you so much for staying for 594 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:53,719 Speaker 1: listening Chickens and Chill. Do you need advice on love, relationships, health, emas. 595 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,320 Speaker 1: I'm so excited to share with you that my Cheekies 596 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,680 Speaker 1: and Chill podcast will have an extra episode drop each week. 597 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:03,000 Speaker 1: I'll be answering all your questions. Just leave me a 598 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:08,719 Speaker 1: voice message. All you have to do is go to 599 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,080 Speaker 1: speak pipe dot com slash Cheeks and Chill podcast and 600 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,239 Speaker 1: record your questions. I can't wait to hear from you. 601 00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 1: This is a production of I Heart Radio and the 602 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:24,560 Speaker 1: Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael 603 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,719 Speaker 1: Dura Podcasts and follow me checks that's c h i 604 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,600 Speaker 1: q u i s. For more podcasts from my heart, 605 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,160 Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever 606 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:35,960 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite podcasts.