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Speaker 1: Bugle up and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 1: you here. It is the Strawberry Lennon. Thank you, nephew.

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Speaker 1: Subject he loves me, but he dates other women. Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I'm a twenty seven year old single mother

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Speaker 1: of two beautiful girls, and I'm in the US Army.

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Speaker 1: I've been casually dating a gentleman for two years now.

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Speaker 1: We are not exclusive, but he's met my kids and

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Speaker 1: my family, and our bond is incredible. I have never

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Speaker 1: been in love like this, and I want more than

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Speaker 1: he's willing to offer. He's the one that doesn't want

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Speaker 1: to be in a monogamous relationship, but he makes a

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Speaker 1: way to see me once a week even though we

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Speaker 1: live over three hundred miles away from each other. The

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Speaker 1: problem with him is that he still chooses to date

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Speaker 1: other women, and it's getting to be more than I

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Speaker 1: can handle. So now our relationship is turning toxic. I

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Speaker 1: can't deal with the jealousy and he can't deal with

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Speaker 1: my nagging. He told me that he truly loves me

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Speaker 1: and cares for me, but he feels like he needs

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Speaker 1: to make sure he's ready to commit to me and

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Speaker 1: only me before he stops dating other women. He said

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Speaker 1: he could resent me if we move forward in our

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Speaker 1: relationship too quickly. We are holding on and it's unhealthy

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Speaker 1: for me. I don't want to let him go because

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Speaker 1: he may move on and fall for someone new. This

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Speaker 1: is my future husband, but I am not sure how

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Speaker 1: long I have to wait for him, or should I

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Speaker 1: wait at all. I know the dating scene is scary nowadays,

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Speaker 1: so I'm not ready to get back out there. What

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Speaker 1: should I do? Please advise? Okay, First of all, you

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Speaker 1: should get this thought and notion out of your mind

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Speaker 1: that this is your future husband, because it's not okay.

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Speaker 1: Your future husband would respect your wishes. He would be

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Speaker 1: trying to make you happy, not miserable, not keep you

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Speaker 1: in a toxic relationship with all this jealousy and nagging.

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Speaker 1: And you know, the one thing that you can say

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Speaker 1: is that he's been honest with you, but you don't

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Speaker 1: hear him. He chooses to date other women because he

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Speaker 1: wants to make sure that when he's ready to commit

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Speaker 1: to you and only you, that he's ready, okay, and

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Speaker 1: that he wants to stop dating other women. All right,

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Speaker 1: that's the issue that you're not listening to. You say,

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Speaker 1: we're holding on and it's unhealthy for you. Well, if

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Speaker 1: it's unhealthy for you, why are you still in this situation?

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Speaker 1: This is not your future husband? Yeah, I mean the

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Speaker 1: dating scene can be scary. You're not ready to get

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Speaker 1: back out there. Who says you're got to get back

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Speaker 1: out there? Take some time for yourself. You know this

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Speaker 1: may not be the guy for you. It doesn't sound

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Speaker 1: like he's a guy for you. So what he drives

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Speaker 1: three hundred miles to see you one day a week.

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Speaker 1: If you're in a real relationship, you guys would make

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Speaker 1: some other plans, if you could to move closer together,

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Speaker 1: to become monogamous. None of that is going on here

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Speaker 1: only by you. You're in this relationship by yourself. He's

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Speaker 1: not ready for that. You got to hear him when

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Speaker 1: he's telling you that it's not your few your husband,

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Speaker 1: none of that. You're getting jealous that you probably you know,

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Speaker 1: going off the deep end when you say this relationship

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Speaker 1: is turning toxic. You know you gotta let this situation go.

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Speaker 1: You said you're not ready to let go because you

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Speaker 1: don't want him to go to someone new. But you

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Speaker 1: know there's a saying that goes if you love someone,

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Speaker 1: let them go. Okay, you gotta let them go and

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Speaker 1: see if he'll come back. This is not the relationship

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Speaker 1: for you, twenty seven year old single mother of two

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Speaker 1: beautiful girls. What kind of example are you setting for

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Speaker 1: your daughters? Okay, you don't want them to be in

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Speaker 1: a toxic relationship or definitely not a relationship like this.

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Speaker 1: So take a look at yourself. Step back. You don't

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Speaker 1: have to get into the dating scene right away, but

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Speaker 1: this situation right here, you definitely need to let it go. Junior. Surely,

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Speaker 1: Oh ma'am, you are not in a relationship, but you

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Speaker 1: are first. Hey, you are first. Now, my fairy is

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Speaker 1: you should be right to stay right there. She should

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Speaker 1: just stay right there, Shirley, I think she shouldn't because

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Speaker 1: you already know him. Why why would you take time

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Speaker 1: to start all over and get to know somebody else.

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Speaker 1: The man put a lot of way in town that

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Speaker 1: called three in the miles every week. But you know

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Speaker 1: the all it ain't just seeing you, it's the all change,

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Speaker 1: it's the tie rotations, it's all that spark plugs. He

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Speaker 1: come down there every week. You don't just appreciate this

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Speaker 1: man to come see you every week over three in

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Speaker 1: the mile. I won't drive fifteen minutes abound like this

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Speaker 1: man going back and forth every day to see you

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Speaker 1: once a week at least. You say, how about three

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Speaker 1: hundred miles in time? Like, if that's twelve hundred, No,

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Speaker 1: that's twelve hundred miles a month, about three that's about

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Speaker 1: two hours he driving to come see you. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: two hours. But here the thing you don't see the

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Speaker 1: other women he's just dating. If if we're friends, we're

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Speaker 1: not in exclusive relationship, it's okay, we're gonna done them

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Speaker 1: with somebody else. M But then I come back and

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Speaker 1: I still come see you. But she wants to be exclusive.

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Speaker 1: She thinks this man's her future husband junior. But she's first.

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Speaker 1: Gotta remember that you first girl. Everybody else local. He

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Speaker 1: drives to see you. You have to appreciate that. And

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Speaker 1: you don't want to be out here to date. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot of crazy people out here dating. Stay with

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Speaker 1: the one you familiar with. Got to know yourself. You

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Speaker 1: can do better. I think it's I think she's good

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Speaker 1: right where she's at. I think she can do much better.

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure she would have did it all right, Jay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna just go hard and go just m pete please,

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Speaker 1: this man is really t I cannot right in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the Strawberry Letter, though, this is what niggers do.

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Speaker 1: They always they constantly complain. See what's what's you get

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Speaker 1: with a nigger like this man? You can't get your

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Speaker 1: life is Oh look lady, look stop acting like anyway,

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Speaker 1: just stop nagging a damn man. All right, you know

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Speaker 1: what he'd do. He told you I'm gonna the other

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Speaker 1: one ate three hundred miles away. All right, listen, hang

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Speaker 1: on hold that thought. We'll have part two of the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter coming up. Subject he loves me, but he

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Speaker 1: dates other women. Twenty seven year old single mom of

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Speaker 1: two beautiful girls wrote us she's in the US Army.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for your service. By the way, I did

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Speaker 1: not say that earlier, but thank you for your service.

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Speaker 1: You've been casually dating, see right there, casually dating. You're

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Speaker 1: not in a relationship, all right. You've been casually dating

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Speaker 1: this guy for two years now. You're not exclusive. He's

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Speaker 1: met your kids and your family, and your bond is incredible.

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Speaker 1: You've never been in love like this. A lot of

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Speaker 1: times we get in love because we want what we

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Speaker 1: can't have, and anyway. You want more than he's willing

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Speaker 1: to offer. He doesn't want to be in a monogaous relationship,

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Speaker 1: monogamous relationship. He told you that, Uh, he wants to

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Speaker 1: see other women. He still chooses to date other women.

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Speaker 1: The relationship has become toxic. You're jealous. He doesn't want

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Speaker 1: you to nag him. He can't deal with your nagging.

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Speaker 1: He's not ready to commit to you, although he says

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Speaker 1: he truly loves you and cares for you, but he

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Speaker 1: wants to see those other women. Uh. He said he

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Speaker 1: could resent you if you move forward in the relationship

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Speaker 1: too quickly. It's been two years, um, and you don't

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Speaker 1: want to let him go because he may move on

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Speaker 1: and fall for someone else. He drives three hundred miles

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Speaker 1: once a week to see you. You want to know

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Speaker 1: what should you do? Should you wait it out? Or

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Speaker 1: what should you do? I say, move on? Uh? Jay,

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Speaker 1: were you done with your with your funds done? And

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Speaker 1: you know most of these letters. I listen to these

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Speaker 1: letters all the time, and most of these letters are

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Speaker 1: basically selfish women who don't understand him. Say how many

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Speaker 1: women you would think he has? Say he got foul?

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Speaker 1: Just say he got women how many of you? Okay,

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Speaker 1: he got six. He's leaving six to be with one.

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Speaker 1: Look at the math. Look what he's doing. He's leaving

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Speaker 1: six behind six. He's leaving six driving to one. That's

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Speaker 1: great math, leaving six lovers in one place to see one.

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Speaker 1: You're special and you don't know it. You're not seeing

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Speaker 1: how special you are. You're a very special person. And

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Speaker 1: he's leaving six to get in the car gas up

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Speaker 1: to see one. Yeah. See, you just don't appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: If zero, all right, all right, all right, here we go.

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Speaker 1: I gotta answer, you know, being the host already to love.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I gotta answer this the right way.

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Speaker 1: You understand. I wanted to go with the fellas, but

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Speaker 1: this time I got the time. He got to play

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Speaker 1: it the right way. Being the host, are ready to love,

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Speaker 1: I feel it's my responsibility to guide you in the

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Speaker 1: right direction. So let's get one thing straight off. The

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Speaker 1: time you're talking about you don't want to get back

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Speaker 1: out in the dating scene because it's crazy, baby girl. Listen,

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Speaker 1: you ain't never left the Dayton scene. You've been on

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Speaker 1: the same one date for the last two years. Take

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Speaker 1: it from Tommy. He is not ready to love truth,

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Speaker 1: be told hit badly like you. Okay, Now, he likes

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Speaker 1: what you've given him, what you doing, what he what

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Speaker 1: you do for him, He likes that. What bothers him

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Speaker 1: even what bothers me. Even more is you ain't got

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Speaker 1: no friends. Ain't nobody told you? And you ain't got

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Speaker 1: no girl friends, and nobody, ain't nobody told you in

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Speaker 1: the last two years that you're wasting your damn time.

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Speaker 1: Ain't nobody said nothing. And if you do have some friends,

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Speaker 1: they must not be real friends, because a real sister

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Speaker 1: would tell her other sister, girl, you didn't let this

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Speaker 1: food go. Okay, Chirlotte caller three hundred miles away, he

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Speaker 1: ain't married, y'all. And not only that. Guess what, it's

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Speaker 1: a perfect storm. You know why she's in the military.

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Speaker 1: She can't really go nowhere. She working her butt off.

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Speaker 1: She's fighting for the country. He gets to come in

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Speaker 1: once every two weeks, hang out, go back where he

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Speaker 1: he comes from, do what he do. Y'all don't see this.

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Speaker 1: M Come on, y'all, you don't see this all. My

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Speaker 1: grandmama used to say this here. Freeways ain't the only

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Speaker 1: thing with signs. Y'all, don't see the signs. Look at

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Speaker 1: the side I've been I've been casually dating a man

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Speaker 1: for two years? Who do that for two years? Who

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Speaker 1: casually date for two years? That ain't no saying here

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Speaker 1: go out side? Hold on, hold on, he met my

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Speaker 1: kids and my family. Uh, but we are not exclusive?

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Speaker 1: Then why the hell he met them? If we are

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Speaker 1: not exclusive? She's got an example of set for her daughters.

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Speaker 1: Beautiful girls. On what Jay? What Jay? Ready for? Love

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Speaker 1: has changed? You? Come on team Timmy. We're back together,

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Speaker 1: team timing. But you, Shane Man, I got to keep

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Speaker 1: it real, jan I don't know who I was. I

200
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Speaker 1: ain't never been in love like give you ain't got

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Speaker 1: no friends? I think who was just talking? He's are signs,

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Speaker 1: freeway ain't the only thing with managing for changes and

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Speaker 1: you got your damn show. But it is what it is, baby.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to keep it real. Yeah, I'm keeping it

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Speaker 1: real to appreciate that. Yeah, this is where, this is

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Speaker 1: my future hub. It's not no all right, listen, we

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Speaker 1: gotta get out of here. Please change email us to

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Speaker 1: Instagram us your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey FM. And check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.