Speaker 1: It's time. Oh the b a q a b a
Speaker 1: q a what you say the b a qa just
Speaker 1: tiff and nay the b a qa. We miss you man,
Speaker 1: dame b a q aa. Ooh. So if you listen
Speaker 1: to the Wednesday show and you heard me talk about
Speaker 1: the Lauren Hill, so I met to shout out this
Speaker 1: young woman named Keimani so one I went. So many
Speaker 1: of y'all stopped me. Who listened to the show or
Speaker 1: love the Budgeonista. That's so many, at least ten different people.
Speaker 1: I took pictures. But there's one young woman in particular, Keimani,
Speaker 1: who she saw me, she stopped and she's like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, and then she proceeded to pour so much
Speaker 1: love into me. She spoke life into me. She just
Speaker 1: I mean, it was the most beautiful interaction that I've had.
Speaker 1: I literally started to cry. You know, she was just like, tiffing,
Speaker 1: I can't possibly know all that you've been through except
Speaker 1: for what you shared. And this is just like a
Speaker 1: snippet of what she said. But I want you to
Speaker 1: know how many people that you've helped. My life is
Speaker 1: different because of you. I talk about you all the time.
Speaker 1: I share your book with everyone, you know, Like she's like,
Speaker 1: I hear how you uplift Mandy on the podcast how
Speaker 1: you up with your Unicorn squad? How you uplift your mentor?
Speaker 1: And she was like, despite all that's happening, you choose
Speaker 1: joy over and over and over again, and I hope
Speaker 1: you know how much that means to us. It was
Speaker 1: like I tried to hold together and then I just
Speaker 1: started crying. It was the most beautiful interaction I've had
Speaker 1: in so long. She was like, she's a real listener.
Speaker 1: She said, I know you don't like hugs, but can
Speaker 1: I hug you? It was just a beautiful interaction in Keymannie.
Speaker 1: I just want to say thank you so much. And
Speaker 1: she said something so powerful. She's like, when things get
Speaker 1: really rough, I hope you remember this conversation and let
Speaker 1: it fill you with the light that you put into
Speaker 1: other people. And it was just amazing. So I just
Speaker 1: forgot to shout her out in the last episode, and
Speaker 1: I just wanted to do that. So I'm gonna take
Speaker 1: a question that has come up. Actually was talking to
Speaker 1: one of my mentees earlier. You know, we'd be a
Speaker 1: Q where we answer business questions, finance questions, career questions,
Speaker 1: and so y'all know I be mentoring, right, I have
Speaker 1: a mentorship program. It's twenty bucks a month. Well, it
Speaker 1: depends if you listen to this five years from now,
Speaker 1: it's probably more. But it's my mentor at Tiffany dot
Speaker 1: com and have a ton of mentees in there. And
Speaker 1: a question came up and I was kind of like coaching,
Speaker 1: and here is the here. I wouldn't say this is
Speaker 1: the question, but here is the response that I have
Speaker 1: that I want you to think about this, not just
Speaker 1: if you have a business, in general in life. And
Speaker 1: here's the question I have for you. Are you coachable?
Speaker 1: Are you coachable? No? For un gather around leaning because
Speaker 1: the vast majority of people I find are not coachable.
Speaker 1: Some of you want to know what is the secret
Speaker 1: to success if you're talking about external success, not even
Speaker 1: just external success, but just success across the board. But
Speaker 1: for ease of conversation, let's talk external success. Right, here's
Speaker 1: the problem. People will reach out to me all the time, timpany, Timothy,
Speaker 1: can you mentor me? And I don't take on too
Speaker 1: many one on one mentors. I started the mentorship program
Speaker 1: at my mentor Tiffany dot com because I can't possibly
Speaker 1: talk to every single person on the phone. But every
Speaker 1: once in a while, somebody will stand out to me
Speaker 1: and then I'll just say, oh, you know, like mentors
Speaker 1: usually choose you, I mean, and you choose them too,
Speaker 1: But there's usually like you know, asking a random person
Speaker 1: you don't know to mentor you. It's likely not going
Speaker 1: to happen, but you know, you build a relationship. They
Speaker 1: like you, you like them. And what I'm looking for
Speaker 1: when I do take on a like a mentor a mentee,
Speaker 1: is are they coachable. There's this great I'm not a
Speaker 1: football stand but there's this this video of this young
Speaker 1: black football player who is like being interviewed after like
Speaker 1: I guess the game or whatever, and they as they're
Speaker 1: asking him, we saw the coach was pretty angry with
Speaker 1: you when when you were on the field. And they
Speaker 1: show a clip like beside him, and it's like you
Speaker 1: could see the coach like red face walking on and
Speaker 1: saying ah, and he was like, they were like, what
Speaker 1: were you thinking of that time as he was kind
Speaker 1: of chewing you out? You know, football coaches be all
Speaker 1: wild and crazy, and he said, I mean, this dude
Speaker 1: had smile on his face. He said, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: When the coach walked on the field, mad I said,
Speaker 1: oh sha, the coach is mad. I wonder who he's
Speaker 1: mad at. And then he was like, oh wait, it's me.
Speaker 1: And he was like. The coach basically was like, there
Speaker 1: was a play I guess that he had told this
Speaker 1: player to do in a specific way and the player forgot,
Speaker 1: you know, and the heat of the moment and didn't
Speaker 1: do it, and whatever bad thing happened at the result
Speaker 1: as a result turned over whatever happened, and so the
Speaker 1: coach came on the field to be like, I told
Speaker 1: you to do blah blah blah nah again. And so
Speaker 1: he said, how did that make you feel? This is
Speaker 1: a reporter asking the player. And he said, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I have learned to not listen to how coach says it,
Speaker 1: but what he's saying, because he was right. He told
Speaker 1: me this is the play because this team reacts this way,
Speaker 1: and I didn't do it and as a result, we
Speaker 1: got what we got. And he was like, I don't
Speaker 1: react negatively when the coach. Now, I'm not saying you
Speaker 1: should you should tolerate abuse. I'm just this is a
Speaker 1: bigger lesson. I don't react when the coach, you know,
Speaker 1: is angry on the field with me. I don't give
Speaker 1: that energy back because I want to remain coachable. I
Speaker 1: want to be able to hear what he's saying and adjust.
Speaker 1: And I don't want him to not coach me, because
Speaker 1: that's why I came to this team. I knew the
Speaker 1: coach was really tough on this team, but I also
Speaker 1: knew that he coaches you to be a better player.
Speaker 1: Now let's take it on back to what that looks
Speaker 1: like in your life. Like I said, I don't believe
Speaker 1: in abuse, but oftentimes people will ask me for I
Speaker 1: remember a friend of mine asked me to help his
Speaker 1: girlfriend with like credit advice, and so we got on
Speaker 1: the phone and I was like, you know, I was
Speaker 1: talking to her and I was like, let's say her
Speaker 1: name is Eve, Hey, Eve, you know, like you know,
Speaker 1: Steve said you need credited by She said yes, and
Speaker 1: I said, well, tell me what's going on. So she
Speaker 1: shared and I said, oh, well, are you you know
Speaker 1: paying off your debt and full Well, I heard that
Speaker 1: you should leave a little bit on your card. I said, well, honestly,
Speaker 1: that's a myth that's been debunked no, because such as
Speaker 1: I said, So that was for me. It was kind
Speaker 1: of like strike number one, Okay, I said. All I
Speaker 1: said was okay. And then I was like, well, you know,
Speaker 1: you want to pay it off in full by the
Speaker 1: statement they No, I heard that you should pay it
Speaker 1: twice a month. Well, actually that's not true. One of
Speaker 1: my friends is like this like really highlight. I mean,
Speaker 1: I know credit, but my friend Nativa is like super
Speaker 1: high level credit experts. She was like, actually I told her.
Speaker 1: I was like, Na, Tiva's actually sat down with like
Speaker 1: they have, like the federal government has like not courses,
Speaker 1: but kind of like open conversations with like credit experts
Speaker 1: to kind of express these are the new rules or whatever.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know, one of the things
Speaker 1: she learned at that time was that's not true. No,
Speaker 1: that is true, because so this is Eve telling me
Speaker 1: that Eve with the four hundred credit score telling me
Speaker 1: with the eight h two credit score that's what it is.
Speaker 1: And I just said okay. And then the third thing
Speaker 1: I can't remember what it was, you know, but I
Speaker 1: think I was telling her like, oh, her utilization or whatever. No,
Speaker 1: I heard that you shouldn't even and I just said okay,
Speaker 1: and then we were just both quiet since she knew everything,
Speaker 1: and she was like, well, you know, I guess my score.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know how I'm going to get
Speaker 1: it to go up. And I said, well, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I couldn't be more helpful. I had a lot more,
Speaker 1: because there are basic credit things, you know, basic things
Speaker 1: like paying off your debt in full, you know, making
Speaker 1: small paints like they're basic things. She was not able
Speaker 1: to receive the basic because she had decided she knew everything,
Speaker 1: and so I kept the next level stuff that was
Speaker 1: really going to change, just sore. I kept it to
Speaker 1: the sound girl, I'm not going to battle you to
Speaker 1: improve you. You ain't coachable, and some of you are like, ooh, Eve,
Speaker 1: it's crazy you Eve. Go look at that mirror. Go
Speaker 1: look at that mirror, you Eve. So many of y'all
Speaker 1: are not coachable. You go to who knows more than you, admittedly,
Speaker 1: because that's why you sought them out. And then when
Speaker 1: they give you advice that's contrary to the thing that
Speaker 1: you're doing that's not working. That's the part of child.
Speaker 1: I don't let me get hopped. Literally, you go to
Speaker 1: someone because what you're doing is not working, because if
Speaker 1: it was working in the way that you wanted, you
Speaker 1: wouldn't be seeking advice. You just be living your life.
Speaker 1: But what you're doing currently is not working. You go
Speaker 1: to someone. I know, I'm reading somebody for filth right now.
Speaker 1: You go to someone because they have the expertise, and
Speaker 1: when they give it to you, because it don't fit
Speaker 1: the thing that's not working for you, you like, nah, girl,
Speaker 1: they can make sense, make it make sense, you know.
Speaker 1: And so you know what happens when you find that
Speaker 1: mentor that coach. They check out because guess what, they're
Speaker 1: busy experiencing the success that you say you want. I
Speaker 1: can't tell you how many people come me. I have
Speaker 1: mentees who are literally like you know, they're just starting
Speaker 1: out in business, and I'm just like, oh, girl, you know,
Speaker 1: try this thing. Yeah, but or it's not big enough
Speaker 1: for them. Yeah, but will that make me a million dollars?
Speaker 1: Says you have no money. We're just starting out. Sis,
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get you a hundred, one hundred dollars,
Speaker 1: then five then you want me to give you million
Speaker 1: dollar game? You don't have the skill set to manage
Speaker 1: that yet, you know, And so what I see is
Speaker 1: when I see that people won't do the thing for
Speaker 1: the hundred or the five hundred, one thousand. I stopped
Speaker 1: mentoring cause I'm God, waits my time. You ain't gonna
Speaker 1: do it anyway. I have one friend who is She
Speaker 1: was one of my favorite people to mentor. When I
Speaker 1: met her, she was negative six figures in business, and
Speaker 1: now she's positive. I think the last time I took
Speaker 1: it was like a year's ago. She said that year
Speaker 1: she had made two million dollars. I said, damn, what
Speaker 1: did I say? It's not just what I said. She
Speaker 1: took what I said and put I just booked her
Speaker 1: yesterday and put into action when I call b right.
Speaker 1: She called me, she said, hey, girl, what do you know?
Speaker 1: And I was like, I just woke up from a nap.
Speaker 1: I'm about to be with my financial advisor. And in
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes she said, that's all I need. Can I
Speaker 1: ask you a question? Sure? Now me and be at
Speaker 1: the same age, and she was like, I'm about to
Speaker 1: do da, da da, I'm not really sure about this.
Speaker 1: I listened for two minutes and then she was quiet,
Speaker 1: and I was like, honestly, I've been in this situation before.
Speaker 1: The best way to approach it is one, two, three, four, five, six,
Speaker 1: seven eight. And then she asked some questions and I
Speaker 1: said yeah, no, yeah, because there's a difference between pushing
Speaker 1: back and asking clarifying questions. She asked clarifying questions, not
Speaker 1: contradictory questions, like now I have heard that online that
Speaker 1: if you do that with your credit. That's not a
Speaker 1: clarifying question. That's like we're rid of the battle. Question.
Speaker 1: She has clarifying questions. I answered them, and then I restated,
Speaker 1: so here's the plan you're going to do one, two, three, four,
Speaker 1: five six. She was like, got it, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Two minutes to spare. And that's why whenever I get
Speaker 1: tools and resources and access, I hit be up and
Speaker 1: I'm like, girl, like I just you know, I learned
Speaker 1: a new thing, my big homiecause I got big mentors.
Speaker 1: Have mentors, like I've got a lot of peers, people
Speaker 1: who are in the same position as me, give or take.
Speaker 1: I have a lot of mentees, and then I have
Speaker 1: some mentors who who like mentor me, and then I
Speaker 1: have big homy mentors who are like, you know, like
Speaker 1: if I said their names, you'd be like, wait, you
Speaker 1: know that me. Yes, So I don't tap into them
Speaker 1: too often because I respect their time and not that
Speaker 1: I don't respect my peers time. It's just that with
Speaker 1: peers you can go back and forth regularly. You know,
Speaker 1: it's different. And so anyway, so sometimes a big homi
Speaker 1: mentor will drop a huge gem on me, and she
Speaker 1: be is one of the first people that I then
Speaker 1: passed that gem onto because she's going to plant the
Speaker 1: seed that I have given her. You know what, you
Speaker 1: need a menum to marinate. Let's take a quick commercial break,
Speaker 1: a quick break, murderate all that for a little, but
Speaker 1: I'll be right back. Okay, I'm back, all right, And
Speaker 1: so like are you coachable? And so it's so important
Speaker 1: to in the mirror and say currently, I'm not. I'm
Speaker 1: always pushing back. I'm not really listening. I'm not doing
Speaker 1: the small things. Because most people, so I met with them,
Speaker 1: I won't say his name because I don't know if
Speaker 1: he wants me to tell the story. So I met,
Speaker 1: I'm really cool with He's this Grammy Award winning, very
Speaker 1: well known black man who is now the huge investor
Speaker 1: in business owner. Right, So he he and I we
Speaker 1: did like a project together and afterwards we just had
Speaker 1: some chatbout afterwards and I said, okay, And during that
Speaker 1: chat bout, he asked me, you know, what is it?
Speaker 1: You know? Is there anything I could do for you
Speaker 1: to if you know? Everybody was asset, and I said,
Speaker 1: actually I had a very specific clear asset. I say, actually,
Speaker 1: I'm making the transition in the budgetista. Here's a specific
Speaker 1: way I'm making a transition. Here's what I've done and
Speaker 1: what I'm really good at. Here's a small piece that
Speaker 1: I don't really get. I would love if you had
Speaker 1: some feedback or whatever, like if you know anything or
Speaker 1: anybody that can help me with this piece of this?
Speaker 1: He said. First of all, can I commend you? He said,
Speaker 1: Most times I ask people that they either say nothing
Speaker 1: or they basically want you to put them on. There
Speaker 1: is nothing more telling about your lack of desire to
Speaker 1: do the work when you give somebody a big help
Speaker 1: me out, put me on to what I don't know,
Speaker 1: help me out. Oh, you ain't willing to do no work.
Speaker 1: You want me to do the work for you, because
Speaker 1: what does that even mean? Help you out? How that
Speaker 1: means you have not done any of the prior work?
Speaker 1: Necessary to get you ready to actually receive any specific help.
Speaker 1: You know, you have to have done some pre work
Speaker 1: so you can be ready for whatever someone's going to
Speaker 1: plan into You never waste to ask. I never waste
Speaker 1: and ask if I don't if I'm not clear on
Speaker 1: my ass, I'm not. I'm gonna be quiet, you know,
Speaker 1: not from my big homemie, not for my big mentor.
Speaker 1: With peers, you can go back and forth, but not
Speaker 1: from the big mentor, you know. And so I had
Speaker 1: the specific ass He said, you know what, I have
Speaker 1: a friend really cool with that just sold their business
Speaker 1: to huge hu qu qu, huge conglomerate, and I think
Speaker 1: this actually be a great match for you. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: introduce you to him. And I was like, you see,
Speaker 1: I have done the prior work I have, you know,
Speaker 1: got really clear on the ask. I asked it to
Speaker 1: the right person who I thought might be aligned with
Speaker 1: the solution, and then remain open to be coachable, like
Speaker 1: and I'm certainly not perfectcause Lord, I'm only being I'm
Speaker 1: only able to say this to you because they're so often,
Speaker 1: especially in the beginning, I was not coachable. Oh but
Speaker 1: that's not gonna work. That's not go. I was not coachable,
Speaker 1: and I realized that I am stating. I think one
Speaker 1: of my mentors got frustrated with me. It was like, well, girl,
Speaker 1: if you know everything, then just do it your way,
Speaker 1: and it like it hit me, like, girl, why are
Speaker 1: you asking this person questions if you're not willing to
Speaker 1: make any shift? You know, I can't tell you, like
Speaker 1: some of the people who are mentoring you, if you
Speaker 1: don't remain open, they're not going to take you into
Speaker 1: the next room. They're gonna give you a little light dusting.
Speaker 1: They're like, she ain't ready because you want me to
Speaker 1: introduce you, like I know, Oprah. I'm not me. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying like they like I know, Oprah, I know
Speaker 1: Robert S. Smith, I know, Well, why should I introduce
Speaker 1: them to you when you ain't ready? Because you couldn't
Speaker 1: do the two things I told you to do, but
Speaker 1: you want me to bring you to the big room. Now.
Speaker 1: Now you have to make yourself worthy of the dream
Speaker 1: that you seek, and you make yourself worthy through the work.
Speaker 1: You know, so you have to ask yourself, are you
Speaker 1: going to be like b who, when given the tools
Speaker 1: and the resources, put them to work. Ask clarifying questions
Speaker 1: are not confrontational talking about it's not gonna work, or
Speaker 1: this is my dad gone landscape and I hope y'all
Speaker 1: can't hear that. Or are you going to be like
Speaker 1: Eve who know every damn thing but don't have the
Speaker 1: thing that you're wanting? You know, like, you know, like
Speaker 1: you have to decide you're gonna be like b or
Speaker 1: you're gonna be like Eve, you know, like if you're
Speaker 1: really wanting. And I'm not just talking about success in business,
Speaker 1: I'm also talking about success in you know, your personal life,
Speaker 1: success in whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish.
Speaker 1: You know, when you're reaching out and asking for help,
Speaker 1: are you open? Are you coachable? You have a whole therapist,
Speaker 1: but you don't listen. M oh, I got you the assist,
Speaker 1: didn't I right? You know, you got your your bestie
Speaker 1: been telling you about such and such is toxic and
Speaker 1: you know they are, but you ain't listening. Okay, you know, like,
Speaker 1: are you coachable? Okay? Well, if you do have a
Speaker 1: business and you a sister, and I mean we have
Speaker 1: people who are not sisters. But if you do have
Speaker 1: a business and you want to come on over and
Speaker 1: let me coach you, you know, going over to my
Speaker 1: mentor tipany dot com and yeah, I coach there. It's fun.
Speaker 1: It's fun over there. But no, for real, this is
Speaker 1: not a judgment zone. This is just a self awareness
Speaker 1: zone and it's nothing is more important than being self aware.
Speaker 1: So that way you know where you are, so you
Speaker 1: know where you want to be and then you make
Speaker 1: that leap forward. So said that would love a little sass,
Speaker 1: but said that would love all right, I will see
Speaker 1: you if you didn't listen to the episode on Wednesday,
Speaker 1: I break down my time at the Lauryn Hill concert
Speaker 1: and what a time I had. Yes, she was late
Speaker 1: spoiler alert, but go ahead and listen to that episode
Speaker 1: until next week. Oh. If you have questions that you
Speaker 1: want answered, you can go to a Brinibision podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com, briannibision podcast dot com and click a
Speaker 1: contact a flott into our DMS Brown Abvission podcast on
Speaker 1: ig and we take your business questions, your personal questions,
Speaker 1: your mentorship questions, your money questions, your career questions. All right, y'all. Bye,