Speaker 1: Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds with Dean Angler, Helen Lurkey,
Speaker 1: and Jared haven An.
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 3: What is going on? Everyone?
Speaker 4: Welcome to an all new episode of Help We Suck
Speaker 4: At Being Newlyweds? And it turns out today one of
Speaker 4: us sucks at being on time right now, and it's
Speaker 4: not me, So I can I can make that joke
Speaker 4: right now.
Speaker 3: We got to me.
Speaker 4: We got shared sitting in his master sweet at home.
Speaker 4: I'm sitting in my living room and sweet Sweet Kaylen
Speaker 4: is struggling to find some recording space, which is a
Speaker 4: bummer because I want to hear all about her bridle shower.
Speaker 1: Dean's playing with filters right now. So you definitely you
Speaker 1: did not show up to the bridle shower.
Speaker 4: I did not show up to the bridle shower. I
Speaker 4: showed up that night and it was just late and
Speaker 4: they were already like out partying, and she was like,
Speaker 4: I'm with my girls, and then my brother was out
Speaker 4: with his wife at dinner, and I was just like
Speaker 4: in purgatory, where you know, I didn't want to meet
Speaker 4: up with people that were out partying, and I didn't
Speaker 4: want to crash my brother's date.
Speaker 3: With his wife. So what'd you do? I went home
Speaker 3: and went to bed.
Speaker 1: Sounds like a great, great night. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 3: Oh man.
Speaker 4: It was one of those situations where I felt really
Speaker 4: guilty though, because you know, I'm laying in bed and
Speaker 4: my brothers like, come out and meet us. We're, you know,
Speaker 4: we're out celebrating Ashley's birthday. And I was like, Oh,
Speaker 4: I'm in bed and it's so comfortable. There's no way
Speaker 4: I'm leaving. But you feel feel bad about it obviously.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean you'll be fine. You'll have plenty of other
Speaker 1: times to go drinking. I mean, how many times will
Speaker 1: you have to sit in your bed and watch the office?
Speaker 3: Oh? Not many, that's true, Not very many.
Speaker 5: Not many.
Speaker 1: You're about to get married, You're like's about to change, man,
Speaker 1: and then you're gonna have kids, and then it's just
Speaker 1: gonna be all downhill.
Speaker 3: But in the best way possible.
Speaker 4: That's part of it, though, is because they have a kid.
Speaker 4: My brother and his wife have a kid the same
Speaker 4: age as you, and so you you know, they know
Speaker 4: how and I know and you know how rare it
Speaker 4: is for them to like have a night out for themselves.
Speaker 4: They hired us sit or they were like out until
Speaker 4: one am.
Speaker 1: You know, Oh man, they had this nice so maybe
Speaker 1: you should have went. Never mind, maybe you are a jerk.
Speaker 4: Right, That's why I feel bad. But then like that's
Speaker 4: like obviously separate from the bridle shower. So the bridle
Speaker 4: shower went over really well as far as I was
Speaker 4: able to gather. You know, Kaylen's mom was in town,
Speaker 4: her grandma, her a bunch of her friends, and then
Speaker 4: some of her local friends were all here. And although
Speaker 4: we didn't see I didn't get to see him on Saturday,
Speaker 4: I saw them the next day. On Sunday, we hosted
Speaker 4: like a Nuggets game watch party and we lost, which
Speaker 4: is very sad, but like everyone kind of came over
Speaker 4: to our house and just like filled me in.
Speaker 1: Did anybody give you crap for not going? Did like
Speaker 1: the grandma get a little pussy?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: No, everyone is pretty understanding, which was nice because it
Speaker 4: made me feel like a lot less guilty.
Speaker 3: But at the same time, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I've gone back and forth on whether I should feel
Speaker 4: guilty about this or not.
Speaker 1: I like do, but I don't, you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: it really does Klen care if Kylen doesn't care.
Speaker 3: You have no reason to care. No, Kaylen was like,
Speaker 3: if you were there, it would have been weird.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, see it's differ with Ashley. If I wasn't there,
Speaker 1: it would have been weird.
Speaker 3: Go to Ashley.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so because she just wanted the whole hope, here
Speaker 1: comes the husband at the end, and I lugged the
Speaker 1: gifts into the car and then that's really my responsibility
Speaker 1: for the evening.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we didn't really get We got a couple gifts,
Speaker 4: but none of them are like big gifts for like
Speaker 4: that would have been hard to.
Speaker 1: Are you doing a wedding registry.
Speaker 3: We are doing a wedding registry.
Speaker 4: We had a pizza maker oven pizza oven on there,
Speaker 4: and we got two of those on this weekend, So
Speaker 4: now we need to update our pizza oven there.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's pretty nice. I think I don't know
Speaker 3: the price, and I don't.
Speaker 1: Want to getting you a pizza oven that seems like
Speaker 1: pricey thousands of dollars worth.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, it's less than a thousand. I think if
Speaker 4: I were to guest, like seven hundred bucks, all.
Speaker 1: Right, well that's more reasonable people pay that stuff for,
Speaker 1: like silverware for a wedding.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true. It's it's like a portable pizza oven.
Speaker 4: It's actually really cool. We mean pizzas with it the
Speaker 4: other day and they're but her friends pulled money together
Speaker 4: and then got her a pizza oven, but it was
Speaker 4: like back ordered, so they only get they gave her
Speaker 4: like the voucher for the pizza oven. And then the
Speaker 4: next day, Kalen's mom comes over to our house for
Speaker 4: that you know, that day gathering, I guess you could
Speaker 4: call it, and she shows up with a full pizza oven.
Speaker 4: She's like, I got you the pizzave on your registry
Speaker 4: and we were like, wait, no, we already got a
Speaker 4: pizza oven.
Speaker 1: Oh well wait, doesn't it show on your registry when
Speaker 1: somebody already buys it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I don't understand either.
Speaker 4: I've never really seen this registry, so I wish Kayleen
Speaker 4: was here so we could talk to her about it.
Speaker 4: But then my brother's wife was like, yeah, I saw
Speaker 4: on the registry that the pizza oven still hasn't been
Speaker 4: purchased yet, so there might be a third pizza oven
Speaker 4: coming at some point.
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, well, I guess you could never have enough
Speaker 1: pizza ovens my question. Yeah, so whoever bought the pizza oven?
Speaker 1: Whoever gave you the voucher? Kaln's friend, I think screwed
Speaker 1: it up. But then again, if the pizza oven is
Speaker 1: still on there, and who else did you say bought.
Speaker 3: A pizza oven?
Speaker 1: No, Kalen's mom, Kalen's mom, ye out, Kailn's mom screwed
Speaker 1: it up. So I think something's wrong with the registry.
Speaker 4: I would agree with that. It seems fitting for everything
Speaker 4: that's going with our wedding so far. Is just something
Speaker 4: wrong every step of the way.
Speaker 3: I got news for you.
Speaker 1: If I go on that registry and there's a pizza
Speaker 1: oven still available, Ashley and I will be getting you
Speaker 1: a pizza oven.
Speaker 4: I feel really weird about the registry, and I'm sure
Speaker 4: you probably did too. Like just to like make a
Speaker 4: list of things that I want you guys to buy
Speaker 4: us like that just feels weird to me.
Speaker 1: It's so weird, it's but what made me feel better
Speaker 1: about it is that they're just gonna buy things anyway
Speaker 1: and spend money on things that we probably will never use,
Speaker 1: and so it's better if we just make a list
Speaker 1: and say, hey, please buy us this, this is what
Speaker 1: we want. This is what you should use your money for.
Speaker 1: And it's weird and it's stupid, but it's just the
Speaker 1: way weddings go.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, we're lucky enough to be joined by an angel
Speaker 4: herself tuning in from the pearly gates because she is
Speaker 4: heavenly looking. I don't even know where I'm going with this. Hey, Caylen,
Speaker 4: welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 5: Hello, Hello, sorry late Uh. Any time you blink, I
Speaker 5: can't take you seriously?
Speaker 3: Why because my glasses are not.
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, that's funny because every time I blink, my
Speaker 4: eyes were closed, so I can't see that.
Speaker 5: That's so funny. I thought this were your real classes
Speaker 5: when I got in here.
Speaker 3: It's pretty good filter. They're doing pretty bang up job.
Speaker 1: They do look exactly like your real classes.
Speaker 4: It's my style. Will try not to blink for the
Speaker 4: rest of the episode. Then, well, welcome to the podcast, Kaylen.
Speaker 4: So for the listeners out there, Kaylin is in Los
Speaker 4: Angeles right now. I'm in Las Vegas, and so that's
Speaker 4: why we're separated.
Speaker 3: At the moment.
Speaker 4: We were just talking about wedding registries Kilen and about
Speaker 4: how Jared said it's good to have a registry because
Speaker 4: otherwise people just show up with random stuff, and this
Speaker 4: way you can at least have some say in what
Speaker 4: you get.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 5: And I know there's one registry that if you it'll like,
Speaker 5: let you accept it at the gift otherwise you can
Speaker 5: take the money. I don't know if that's our registry,
Speaker 5: but I know there's one, which is a good idea.
Speaker 1: Why would you put a gift on the registry if
Speaker 1: you're not going to accept it.
Speaker 5: Because imagine just having a blank registry where it's just
Speaker 5: like give us money.
Speaker 3: It's like a sneaky way to get money from your guests.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys are gonna get money anyway, I'm telling you.
Speaker 4: I mean I would rather just that. Like, I don't again,
Speaker 4: I don't even want people to give us money or anything. Really,
Speaker 4: I just want people to show up to our wedding.
Speaker 4: That's enough of a gift for me. But like, if
Speaker 4: we have the choice between two thousand dollars and a
Speaker 4: bunch of random stuff that we're probably only going to
Speaker 4: use once and never use again, give me the two
Speaker 4: thousand dollars, you know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think the biggest thing we wanted on our
Speaker 5: registry were pool loungers and we got them.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, we got we got those for free, which
Speaker 4: were nice. Oh my gosh, pool loungers, Jared, are so expensive.
Speaker 4: How much was it fifteen hundred apiece?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so three grands are you? Whoa what do you
Speaker 1: mean a pool lunder like one of those blow up floaties.
Speaker 2: No, it's like go in your.
Speaker 5: Pool, so you're like just barely sitting in the water,
Speaker 5: but can lay out in tan.
Speaker 1: And it's like installed in the pool.
Speaker 2: No, it's just like these two chairs.
Speaker 3: It's like a chair.
Speaker 4: It's a chair that's like outfitted to sit in the
Speaker 4: pool permanently.
Speaker 1: But this chair better give you massages. For fifteen hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: Doesn't even do that. But they're nice and we did
Speaker 3: get some.
Speaker 4: Kalin's grandparents are graciously gifting us their pool loungers because
Speaker 4: they know how badly we want them and how stingy
Speaker 4: I am. So we're excited for those in the pizza oven.
Speaker 4: I was just telling them about the pizza oven debacle.
Speaker 4: How we have two of them?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I texted the girls and told them not
Speaker 5: to buy us the other one.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't get it. What kind of registry is
Speaker 1: this where you It doesn't why our registry are line one?
Speaker 1: If you buy it it like says someone bought it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I tried to delete one off of our
Speaker 5: registry and it did an update, so there were two.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it is what it is. Now we've got ten.
Speaker 1: Now you've got two pizza ovens, you know what, So Dean,
Speaker 1: you can have so when you guys are making pizza,
Speaker 1: you can just use your own oven. Yeaheah, you don't
Speaker 1: in these pool loungers.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, fourteen hundred dollars. Wait a minute, no, that's not
Speaker 1: it frequently brought together. Yeah, fourteen hundred dollars. I mean
Speaker 1: they're very nice.
Speaker 3: That could be the ones that we got, because that
Speaker 3: seems about the price for But.
Speaker 1: What they just don't seem are they that are all right?
Speaker 1: If your grandparents didn't gift you these, would you say, like, okay,
Speaker 1: this is worth the money.
Speaker 4: We probably would have bought them, and I'm just looking
Speaker 4: it up.
Speaker 3: Maybe we were wrong.
Speaker 4: Maybe it's I'm looking at eight hundred per one right now,
Speaker 4: so maybe it was sixteen hundred total for the.
Speaker 3: Two of them.
Speaker 5: Maybe, But it's nice, especially in Vegas because it's like,
Speaker 5: what one hundred and ten degrees so you can sit
Speaker 5: in the pool layout like it's worth it for Vegas.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's nice, nice to have you.
Speaker 1: I would not be worth it for Rhode Island, where
Speaker 1: we'd use it three months out of the year.
Speaker 3: Right, But you guys have a pool. Oh yeah, built
Speaker 3: it myself.
Speaker 1: That's such bullshit speaking of things that you built yourself.
Speaker 1: How is that toilet set coming out? Douzi it the
Speaker 1: toilet seat? Oh, the truck toilet seat? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: that's next time we record this podcast, I will be
Speaker 1: on day one of my trip and I probably still
Speaker 1: will not have used it at that time. But trust me,
Speaker 1: the second I use it, you guys will be the
Speaker 1: first to be updated. Can you just take your van
Speaker 1: to like the woods somewhere near you and just test
Speaker 1: it out for us? I need to know. I can't
Speaker 1: wait anymore.
Speaker 2: I need to know he did get these.
Speaker 5: There's these poop bags, and I thought they were Al's poopbags,
Speaker 5: but they're human poopas.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're poop bags, but made for humans.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, so you tell me now, because first
Speaker 1: of all, you said that you dig a hole. Now
Speaker 1: you're saying you're going to poop into a bag, dig a.
Speaker 2: Hole, put the bag in the hole.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure what I described to you guys last
Speaker 4: time was digging a hole is option two. Digging, I'm sorry,
Speaker 4: using a plastic bag is option one. If you have bags,
Speaker 4: use them. If you don't have a bag, and you're
Speaker 4: going to pinch, dig a hole. So I don't want
Speaker 4: to have to dig any holes because it's it's you know,
Speaker 4: it's bad for you to put that into the earth
Speaker 4: because our diet is so artificial, I guess from all
Speaker 4: the food that we eat, so it's like it doesn't
Speaker 4: really compost all that well. And so if you put
Speaker 4: it in a bag and then dispose of it naturally
Speaker 4: that way, that's the best way to do it.
Speaker 1: So you're telling me that you're gonna take a ship
Speaker 1: outside your van in a bag and then tied up
Speaker 1: and then throw it in some garbage on the side
Speaker 1: of the road.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I need to figure out how I'm going to
Speaker 4: dispose of it. I'm sure there's like human waste disposals
Speaker 4: that you can find, but one key factor is it's
Speaker 4: not my van, it's my it's the truck that I'm taking.
Speaker 5: The van is you should get those little things we
Speaker 5: used on the rafting trip and just put all your
Speaker 5: poop in there.
Speaker 3: Uh oh, what do they call that a girdle?
Speaker 5: No, it starts with a g R, doesn't it. It's
Speaker 5: like it's not grout, but it's something.
Speaker 4: Because it's it makes lines on your legs and that's
Speaker 4: what they named it after I can't remember what it's called.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I should. I should get one of those.
Speaker 4: Yeah, anyways, we are talking about poop too much on
Speaker 4: this podcast in the in the past two weeks.
Speaker 1: I mean, dude, well, I'm saying, you know, uh, Dawson
Speaker 1: has his little uh you know, diaper trash can one?
Speaker 1: Am I thinking of it's like the old one? You
Speaker 1: could just get one of those. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 4: I should, But there's issues with that, like I would
Speaker 4: have to lug it around in the truck bed, which
Speaker 4: is where I'm sleeping. So I don't really want to
Speaker 4: be that close to human feces.
Speaker 1: Yeah, nobody does, which is why you should use a toilet. Well,
Speaker 1: of course, if I have an option to use the toilet,
Speaker 1: I'll use the toilet. But like this is a This
Speaker 1: is like to prevent me from having to squat behind
Speaker 1: a tree, Yeah, sitting on some sort of steel rock poop.
Speaker 4: Well, and Kaylin knows, like, when I have to poop,
Speaker 4: all all all of my other like fight or flight
Speaker 4: reactions go out the wayside. When I have to poop,
Speaker 4: the only thing I can do is run to the toilet.
Speaker 2: Are we not moving on from poop?
Speaker 4: I just want to I want people to understand how
Speaker 4: much of an emergency it is whenever I have to poop.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think there's something that you need to get
Speaker 5: checked out medically.
Speaker 4: Yeah, follow with you. I wouldn't disagree with you. I
Speaker 4: think that there might be something medically wrong with me
Speaker 4: down there.
Speaker 5: Lately, this is the last thing I'll say on poop,
Speaker 5: But lately, when Tane has to go, he's like, and
Speaker 5: it's like shocks through his body. And I'm like, that
Speaker 5: shouldn't be a pain you feel when you have to
Speaker 5: go to the bathroom.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've got like like prostate cramps, not cramps, but
Speaker 4: like shooting pains in my prostate. So I think I
Speaker 4: might need to get checked for early prostate cancer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely get checked on that. Ashley gets concerned with
Speaker 1: how much I go?
Speaker 3: Yeah, how many times a day? Would you say? Four?
Speaker 1: Uh? No, no, you go four times?
Speaker 4: I say four is like a high end, but I
Speaker 4: would say between two and four. Yeah, you go way
Speaker 4: more than two, but less than four.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Every time you go like you go, it's not like,
Speaker 1: oh that was that was like a half one.
Speaker 3: Well, there are times where just nothing comes out.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is too much.
Speaker 1: You have times where it like comes out and then
Speaker 1: you go to wipe and nothing's there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well I've used it. I use a bod day,
Speaker 4: so usually nothing's ever there, which is nice. But there
Speaker 4: are times where I go to the bathroom, done with
Speaker 4: my duties, clean it up down there, and then I
Speaker 4: about to put my pants up, and I'm like, oh wait, no,
Speaker 4: I'm definitely not done.
Speaker 3: You use a bidet. Oh my gosh. It's the best
Speaker 3: life changing experience.
Speaker 1: I don't get you. Why you because when you're in
Speaker 1: a structured building you use a bidet. You fancy, little boy,
Speaker 1: But then you're gonna go out in your truck and
Speaker 1: have this steel rod and then poop in a bag
Speaker 1: and then sleep next to it.
Speaker 3: Hey, I'm an anomaly. I like it. I like it all.
Speaker 3: I like it dirty, and I like it clean. I
Speaker 3: like all the things. I do.
Speaker 4: Use wet wipes though, when I'm out outdoors and I
Speaker 4: don't have the luxury of a bidet, and I recommend it.
Speaker 3: Flushable wet wipes are the BEA's knees, dude, not the man.
Speaker 3: Why don't we always talk about poop on this podcast.
Speaker 1: That's somebody clock.
Speaker 2: I got to move on.
Speaker 1: I know somebody clogged the toil to Audrey's bro I'm
Speaker 1: not joking. I tried to plunge, dude.
Speaker 3: I tried.
Speaker 1: It was disgusting, because listen, that's just part of the job.
Speaker 1: And I think what happened. I think it was Saturday night.
Speaker 1: We had a wedding party and they were so drunk,
Speaker 1: and I think somebody put paper towels down there like
Speaker 1: a jackass, because dude, I was plunging this thing for
Speaker 1: legitimately twenty minutes and like it started like overflowing. Sorry, yeah,
Speaker 1: too much poop talk. I had to call a plumber
Speaker 1: and he had to like snake the toilet. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is ridiculous, all right, moving on, moving on.
Speaker 4: I gotta say one one final comment of all the
Speaker 4: poops I've had as an adult. I haven't gotten hemorrhoid
Speaker 4: since I was a teenager, and I haven't clogged a
Speaker 4: toilet since I was like twenty, So I'm doing those
Speaker 4: things right at least. Yeah, no, no clogged toilets. Anyways,
Speaker 4: moving on, Caitlin, Jared asked a question earlier to me,
Speaker 4: and I answered, on your behalf. But he wants to
Speaker 4: know if you were upset that I missed the bridle
Speaker 4: shower this weekend, and I.
Speaker 1: Said, I phrase it like that.
Speaker 3: No, I wasn't, And I said you weren't either, No.
Speaker 5: And I think it would have been weird if you came. Also,
Speaker 5: it was such a busy weekend and everyone keeps thinking
Speaker 5: it as my bachelorette weekend. It was definitely a bridle shower,
Speaker 5: not a bachelorette, but it did feel kind of like
Speaker 5: a bachelorett because it was in Vegas and we had
Speaker 5: like this amazing suite at the Palms, But the bridle
Speaker 5: shower was so intimate, and I had to run from
Speaker 5: the bridle shower to go film something for a company,
Speaker 5: and so it's like we wouldn't have even had time
Speaker 5: to like say hi, because we just like sat and
Speaker 5: talked for so long.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I was the bridle shower.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was so much fun. It was so fun.
Speaker 5: We went to Cassie Beach House in Vegas and it's
Speaker 5: the sister restaurant of Elafonte in La So it's my
Speaker 5: favorite restaurant. And I got to pick out the menu
Speaker 5: all my favorite things, and yeah, it was pretty intimate.
Speaker 5: I came up with all these games, like the best
Speaker 5: one was where were we? So I printed out ten
Speaker 5: photos of Dean and I and people had to figure
Speaker 5: out where we were, and I made it super challenging,
Speaker 5: but there were prizes.
Speaker 3: And I looked at the pictures and it was literally
Speaker 3: just like a close up, like a tight shot of us.
Speaker 3: It literally could be anywhere. The only reason I know
Speaker 3: where it is is because I've got a photographic memory,
Speaker 3: and so I remember every out that I've worn, and
Speaker 3: so I could be like, oh Lucia, oh Maldeves.
Speaker 4: But how else would anyone else know what outs were
Speaker 4: in that day in Maldives?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 2: One of them was Guatemala.
Speaker 5: We were standing on top of a volcano, but it
Speaker 5: just looked like black rocks.
Speaker 2: So very challenging, but someone won.
Speaker 1: I think who knows you best, who knows the pictures.
Speaker 3: Are the best?
Speaker 5: Well, actually, there was a tie between two of my friends,
Speaker 5: Michelle and Ali, So we did a tiebreaker and it
Speaker 5: was a photo of Orgon. That one was like the
Speaker 5: easiest one. It was this famous bridge and organ and
Speaker 5: Michelle won.
Speaker 3: Nice congrat's Michelle, my.
Speaker 5: Mom, my grandparents, teen siblings, like nobody knew them?
Speaker 3: Well of course, because who's going to know?
Speaker 4: Are cute little couple photos that we take that are
Speaker 4: in those colications, But it's still out there.
Speaker 3: It's still a fun game. It's still a fun game. Ye,
Speaker 3: So you had a good time.
Speaker 4: And then I was telling him we got two pizza
Speaker 4: ovens and we came here on Sunday and we hosted
Speaker 4: some people and it was a great little weekend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really fun.
Speaker 5: It definitely felt more like a bachelorette, but then like
Speaker 5: we're family centric, because I feel like bachelorettes are solely
Speaker 5: just friends and partying.
Speaker 2: So it was a good combo of both.
Speaker 3: Isn't that what a bridle shower kind of is.
Speaker 1: Anyway, it's more family centric than a bachelorette definitely, Yeah,
Speaker 1: are you having a bachelorette too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, in San Diego in August.
Speaker 1: Usually I feel like those flip flop you have the
Speaker 1: Bachelor Vegas Bachelor party and then the bridle shower in
Speaker 1: San Diego for sure.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it was fun and we stayed at the Palms.
Speaker 5: The Palms is so nice, and there was a big
Speaker 5: concert going on lovers and friends.
Speaker 2: There was like fifty cent Mary J.
Speaker 5: Blige, a bunch of people and apparently like most of
Speaker 5: them were staying up there as well in the Palms.
Speaker 4: Uh sure, and Chris Brown got Chris Brown got in
Speaker 4: a fight according to the Internet at least.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I know, it was a great weekend, even
Speaker 3: for me. You know, I got to come in.
Speaker 4: I gotta see Kalin's family, who we see less of.
Speaker 4: I feel like like I don't get to see j
Speaker 4: Lee as often as I do my brothers and sisters
Speaker 4: so on the.
Speaker 2: East Coast, and your family is like drivable, right.
Speaker 4: That's well, that's one hundred percent why we don't see
Speaker 4: them as much obviously. Yeah, so yeah, no, it was great.
Speaker 4: But Jared, what's going on with you? So you've been
Speaker 4: you've been single? Dadding on bro week now? How long
Speaker 4: has it been?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been a week. Ashley left Thursday. She's coming
Speaker 1: back though, she's coming back soon ish, uh, so I
Speaker 1: don't have too much longer before I get into mind.
Speaker 1: I wanted to play a quick one question game with you, Dean,
Speaker 1: because you just said that you have a photographic memory
Speaker 1: and you remember everything you ever wore. So I'm going
Speaker 1: to give you a softball question, okay, and you better
Speaker 1: know this because this is so easy, and Caitlin, I
Speaker 1: want to know if you remember, if you know the answer,
Speaker 1: which I don't know if you would. Dean, what describe
Speaker 1: the shirt that you wore in your Bachelor in Paradise
Speaker 1: season four? Your first Paradise promo pictures?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: Is that the one where I'm in the pool, like
Speaker 4: we're coming out of the pool soaking lit?
Speaker 1: You're no, no, no, no. I'm pretty sure that was your
Speaker 1: intro for the cast photos when they were released, like, hey,
Speaker 1: Dean's in Paradise, and release.
Speaker 3: The photo two of you in Paradise.
Speaker 1: You were not in a pool, You're in front of
Speaker 1: a pool, yeah, with you know, trees behind you. What shirt?
Speaker 4: I'm pretty certain it was like a dark blue slash,
Speaker 4: black button up short sleeve with white polka dots on it.
Speaker 1: So you're saying, it's a short sleeve button up shirt.
Speaker 3: What color?
Speaker 4: It's like dark blue black, and the sleeves rolled, and
Speaker 4: there was like a purple cuff on the sleeve. And
Speaker 4: the polka dots like they're very small polka dots and
Speaker 4: there's a lot of them.
Speaker 1: Caylen, would you concur if you have any memory of this?
Speaker 2: I have no memory, but I thought you would be shirtless.
Speaker 1: He is not shirtless. There is a nice little vein
Speaker 1: going down your bible.
Speaker 4: Man, I used to be so vascular when I worked
Speaker 4: out how you need to get back to that.
Speaker 1: So, Dean, you are close, but unfortunately your photographic memory
Speaker 1: has let you down with this softball question because it
Speaker 1: is not black and navy blue.
Speaker 3: You were.
Speaker 1: The cuffs are black and navy blue, while the shirt
Speaker 1: is purple. You reversed the colors.
Speaker 3: That's the shirt I'm talking That is the shirt I'm
Speaker 3: talking about.
Speaker 1: No, no, we all I have it. We have it
Speaker 1: on tape, I know. But look at the You said
Speaker 1: the cuffs were purple. Your shirt is purple.
Speaker 4: Okay, sure I mixed the colors up, but look you
Speaker 4: see those tiny little polka dots on there.
Speaker 3: That's what I was talking about.
Speaker 1: You were so close, but you get the colors wrong,
Speaker 1: so obviously your photographic memory is only like.
Speaker 4: Nine, so that count. I'm counting that. Put that in
Speaker 4: the bank. All right, Jared, Let's do the same thing
Speaker 4: to you. Hopefully you haven't googled yourself yet.
Speaker 3: Let's see.
Speaker 1: I know exactly what shirt I was wearing for a Paradise,
Speaker 1: so don't ask it for a season for season two
Speaker 1: and three.
Speaker 3: Let's just do season two because that's longer ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember it was like a I don't know, pink,
Speaker 1: I guess like beige, button down and it they had
Speaker 1: me unbutton it, so I it was not buttoned, and
Speaker 1: then seasons like pinkish.
Speaker 3: No, I wouldn't call it beige. I wouldn't call it beige.
Speaker 1: Well, it's like, it's like, hold on, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: get it's it's pink.
Speaker 2: I think you're wanting to say muted pink, not pink pace.
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, not this, but not it's like more
Speaker 1: like this but not shine.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. The correct answer would have been salmon.
Speaker 1: Cut the hell off.
Speaker 3: I got it right, all.
Speaker 4: Right, Kitlen, you're your turn. You also claim to have
Speaker 4: a photographic memory.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I was wearing a white crap top with
Speaker 2: a red skirt. No, that was when I was coming
Speaker 2: down the beach. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: You can't ask a girl this. Of course she's gonna know.
Speaker 2: I was just wearing a white strapless top.
Speaker 3: Maybe, I mean, maybe you don't know. Oh I got it.
Speaker 1: I got it right here, white strapless.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 2: I was wearing jean shorts.
Speaker 3: Oh man, oh yeah right here. Oh my god, you
Speaker 3: you look so this picture. It's pretty funny of you.
Speaker 1: I also, this picture just doesn't look like you.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 3: They like they like up the clarity on it or something.
Speaker 3: They Dad dad edited this photo so bad.
Speaker 2: I also like lost weight, and I lost a lot
Speaker 2: of weight in my face, and I just grew up.
Speaker 2: I was twenty three. People always like what you do
Speaker 2: to your face.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm older, well, and you don't get lip
Speaker 4: fillers and stuff anymore.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the lip fillers for sure.
Speaker 4: But they just edited the like, yeah, you probably look different,
Speaker 4: for sure, but they edited it very weird, like the
Speaker 4: shadows are too prominent.
Speaker 1: What's your final guest there?
Speaker 2: I want to say it was like a white strapless
Speaker 2: shirt with this flower on it e jean shorts.
Speaker 4: Okay, wow, So I would say I was the most
Speaker 4: accurate other the three of us, because you were wearing
Speaker 4: a strapped toss.
Speaker 2: There was like a flower or boat with.
Speaker 3: A bow in the front.
Speaker 2: I was thinking, like a prominent think he's wearing.
Speaker 3: A BIS shirt.
Speaker 2: No, you said a white shirt.
Speaker 3: Who said white?
Speaker 2: You did? Didn't you say a white shirt with poka dots?
Speaker 3: No? I said purple and blue?
Speaker 1: No he did not. He said blue and black with
Speaker 1: polka dots with purple cuffs. The shirt is purple with
Speaker 1: white polka dots with black and blue cuffs.
Speaker 4: He got exactly what I described. I just described it
Speaker 4: in a weird way. I'm not very good at vocalizing
Speaker 4: my thoughts very well. But whatever, it's okay. All photographic memories.
Speaker 4: I guess we all passed the test.
Speaker 3: All right, here we go, Here we go. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do another one.
Speaker 1: Ready, hold on, hold on, I'm trying to find something
Speaker 1: that's just that's distinct. I mean, do you remember your
Speaker 1: bachelorette photos?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Those are those are easy.
Speaker 3: Those are so easy. I remember what I was wearing
Speaker 3: on the first carpet.
Speaker 4: I walked. I walked it with your wife, Jared. I
Speaker 4: was wearing a pink button up shirt and I was
Speaker 4: wearing a black backpack, black backpack on a red carpet,
Speaker 4: and I felt, really I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 4: I still don't really know what you do on those things.
Speaker 4: But I walked it with your wife, Jared. Isn't that
Speaker 4: pretty funny? I thought that was fir No, that is
Speaker 4: so funny.
Speaker 5: What did you wear to iHeart? All of us were
Speaker 5: together in Vegas our first year. We had just started dating.
Speaker 3: Well, that's a whole week we had.
Speaker 2: We had just come out as a couple officially. It was.
Speaker 5: The first red carpet the first weekend. It wasn't the
Speaker 5: next day when you presented with Ben. It was the
Speaker 5: first night and we had so much fun. We have
Speaker 5: so many photos from it. Jordan Ashley were there, Tashu
Speaker 5: was there, Ben and Jess were there.
Speaker 3: Do you know what I was wearing?
Speaker 2: Yep? Tilly was like, what the hell is Dean perary?
Speaker 3: Oh? Oh, because I was wearing that pink corduroy jacket.
Speaker 2: No, you don't even have a pink corduroy jacket.
Speaker 3: I used to and I rocked the hell out of it.
Speaker 2: No, you're wearing a fisherman's hat and you're.
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, that's right, my north face fleas best and
Speaker 3: my black Rucus shirt that I wore in Hawaii actually
Speaker 3: just recently. Funny enough is it that outfit? That's a
Speaker 3: great shot right there.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 4: That was like the well, I had already stopped giving
Speaker 4: a crap at that point, but that was like when
Speaker 4: I really kicked into overdrive. I was like, here, I
Speaker 4: don't care how I look on these red carpets anymore.
Speaker 2: That was my first red carpet together too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we crushed it, all right. Let's move on to
Speaker 3: the next thing.
Speaker 4: So, Jared, I want to talk about you and your
Speaker 4: your single dad duties that you've been on. Have you
Speaker 4: been talking to Ashley? Are you allowed to even communicate
Speaker 4: with her while she's in her show?
Speaker 1: Yeah, film, yep, Yeah, So I've been talking to her,
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, she's she's doing all right. She's
Speaker 1: far away and it's tough being away from Dawson, but
Speaker 1: she is excited to, you know, come home at some
Speaker 1: point and single dad. So I got lucky. Ashley's mom, Audrey,
Speaker 1: flew into town with me on Thursday, and she left
Speaker 1: on Monday, and then Laura and her sister came in
Speaker 1: on Tuesday because I just so Friday, I just been
Speaker 1: working a lot of Audrey's which I needed to cut
Speaker 1: down on, but cause like Friday, I had to go
Speaker 1: in for a couple hours during the day and then
Speaker 1: I went back at night, and then we had a
Speaker 1: wedding event, so I was there till like two in
Speaker 1: the morning, and then Saturday, I had to go in
Speaker 1: the morning for a couple hours and then had to
Speaker 1: go back in at night just for a few hours.
Speaker 3: But it's just like.
Speaker 1: Obviously that would never be able to happen with Dawson
Speaker 1: because you know, it's hard actually, and then he did
Speaker 1: come with me, so besides the point, and then Sunday
Speaker 1: I worked and then Monday I worked. So it's really good.
Speaker 1: But at night it's been nice, Like it's nice. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm you know, it's nice having like a father son
Speaker 1: bond time because he's so attached to Ashley. He's such
Speaker 1: a mama's boy that sometimes I feel, you know, in
Speaker 1: second place, which makes sense. He's it's his mom, you know,
Speaker 1: so if he's crying or if he wants somebody. He's
Speaker 1: going to reach out to mama, He's going to call
Speaker 1: for mama. So it is nice that he feels a
Speaker 1: little bit more dependent on me because now I'm in
Speaker 1: the house with Grandma and Auntie. So he's just like
Speaker 1: dad dad that and he's always reaching for me, and
Speaker 1: he feels more comfortable with me. So I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right, bro, that's right. You love me too, don't
Speaker 1: forget it. So that's really sweet. And yeah, he's doing
Speaker 1: He's a lot of fun. He's been sleeping better throughout
Speaker 1: the night, which has been a game change. We got
Speaker 1: a crib and it like motions with him, which is awesome.
Speaker 1: I mean, at some point he's gonna have to fall
Speaker 1: asleep without the bed moving, but you know, we'll cross
Speaker 1: that bridge when we get there.
Speaker 2: Get him a waterbed after dude.
Speaker 1: That's what Audrey said. She was like, getting him a waterbed.
Speaker 1: That's not a bad idea.
Speaker 2: That was my dream when I was a kid.
Speaker 3: Did you ever have one?
Speaker 5: No? Absolutely not, And I'm glad because I already have
Speaker 5: back problems. I can't imagine.
Speaker 1: Wait, did waterbeds cause back problems?
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's no support, no support.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense. I don't know, I guess I
Speaker 1: Have I ever been on a waterbed Dean?
Speaker 3: Have you? Yeah?
Speaker 4: One of my friend's parents had one when I was
Speaker 4: in high school. And not to brag and not to
Speaker 4: make it awkward or anything, but I made out with
Speaker 4: a girl in there once I.
Speaker 5: Knew there was something coming with it.
Speaker 1: How was that experience on a waterbed? Was it like
Speaker 1: just I feel like I want to be able to
Speaker 1: like gain control of anything. It's just too flopping.
Speaker 2: It's just flying around.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, There's a couple of people in the room,
Speaker 3: so we were all just taking turns on the waterbed.
Speaker 3: It was kind of weird.
Speaker 1: I got a question. I got a question about your relationship.
Speaker 1: Do you guys? Do you guys get to make out
Speaker 1: like you guys ever? Just like make out?
Speaker 3: You know? I think about that. Actually we don't really
Speaker 3: make out.
Speaker 1: We don't like not that often. Yeah, Ashley and I
Speaker 1: never make out anymore. Yeah, leading to something? You know,
Speaker 1: why does that stop? We used to just make out?
Speaker 2: I know, why don't you make out with me?
Speaker 3: Why don't you make out with me?
Speaker 1: Stash bro Yeah, nobody if you have For all the
Speaker 1: listeners out there, Dean of course has a French mustache
Speaker 1: on for a filters.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Sorry, If it's distracting, I'll change it. Yeah.
Speaker 4: No, I think that just maybe is like a normal
Speaker 4: But Kaylen, wh should started making out more?
Speaker 5: I love that?
Speaker 3: Well, I would love that, all right?
Speaker 1: Cool, I'm glad I brought it up.
Speaker 3: But you don't want to make out with me?
Speaker 2: Of course I do. It's okay, let's make out when
Speaker 2: you come to La.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll come. I'll come and we can make out. So, Kaylen,
Speaker 3: can you tell us what you're doing in LA right now?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 5: So I'm at a wee work in downtown Los Angeles,
Speaker 5: which is just the most hectic place ever at nine am.
Speaker 5: And after this, I go straight to my first wedding
Speaker 5: dress fitting, and I'm very excited.
Speaker 2: I'm like a little nervous.
Speaker 1: Are you with friends or family?
Speaker 5: No? One of my best friends was going to come,
Speaker 5: but I changed it from Thursday to Wednesday because I
Speaker 5: was going to try to fly back to Vegas tonight,
Speaker 5: and then that's like she already had meetings today. So
Speaker 5: I'm just I like being alone, especially with this stuff,
Speaker 5: and I don't really like making a big deal of
Speaker 5: things like trying on wedding dresses was fun, but my
Speaker 5: mom cried every single time I tried one on, and
Speaker 5: I was like, yeah, sweet, but I was like, okay,
Speaker 5: we got to get down to business, like I'm here
Speaker 5: to pick out my dress, so yeah, I'm kind of
Speaker 5: happy to be alone. But for my bridal shower, I
Speaker 5: worked with this designer and it was such an awful experience.
Speaker 2: The dress.
Speaker 5: She didn't ship it to me until Thursday, and my
Speaker 5: showers on Saturday and I was leaving Friday, so and
Speaker 5: it was hideous. It was too big. It was like
Speaker 5: nothing that we talked about. So now I'm like a
Speaker 5: little stressed going in this is a different designer. So
Speaker 5: and I already picked out the dress and they have
Speaker 5: my measurements, so it'll probably be pretty easy, but just
Speaker 5: a little bit stressful.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So for this dress, can you get it? Like
Speaker 4: you're like, when do you get to try it on
Speaker 4: for the first time with your measurements.
Speaker 3: And everything right now?
Speaker 2: Right after this?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: But I thought okay, so I thought that, Oh, so
Speaker 4: you already picked it out. They've then they've now like
Speaker 4: buttoned it up to fit your body and you can
Speaker 4: because I.
Speaker 5: Tried on a sample that like you know, everyone's tried on,
Speaker 5: so then they make it for me a clean new dress.
Speaker 3: Do they make a brand new dress or do they
Speaker 3: just like, hem, the old one into.
Speaker 2: Your new dress?
Speaker 5: Because the dress I tried on was like a size
Speaker 5: eight and I'm a size zero or two?
Speaker 3: Mmmm, that makes sense. That's a big difference. Yeah, so
Speaker 3: so yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: What happens if you try this wedding dress on and
Speaker 1: you're like, I hate everything about this.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what I'm worried about.
Speaker 5: I don't know, because because I tried on the eight
Speaker 5: and we fixed some things with it and like change something,
Speaker 5: So I just I'm like, hopefully, hopefully it looks the
Speaker 5: way I have envisioned in my head.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty confident you're probably gonna love it if you're
Speaker 1: working with a designer and they've made this dress for you,
Speaker 1: Plus you have plenty of times for any I'm sure,
Speaker 1: like the main dress you're going to fall in love with?
Speaker 1: Can you tell us what style it is? Are you
Speaker 1: allowed to even say anything, whether it's I don't know
Speaker 1: the tactical terminology for these things, but like a big
Speaker 1: poofy one or more fitting.
Speaker 5: Well, this one is the reception dress and so I
Speaker 5: have a ceremony and a reception, and the reception dress
Speaker 5: is just like sexier, it's a little bit tighter.
Speaker 2: It's strapless.
Speaker 1: So have you tried on your your ceremony.
Speaker 3: Wedding dress ceremony dress?
Speaker 5: Yeah, that one is done in June next time, so
Speaker 5: I'll be able to try that one on for the
Speaker 5: first time. And that one we changed a lot, so
Speaker 5: I'm very interested to see how that one looks.
Speaker 3: Why wouldn't you wait till they're both.
Speaker 2: Done because they're two different designers.
Speaker 6: Oh I see, Yeah, yeah, get with it, Dean, Yeah,
Speaker 6: what which one are you more excited about or nervous for?
Speaker 5: This one I'm more nervous for because there's like specific
Speaker 5: things that have to look perfect. And then the second one,
Speaker 5: I'm also I'm excited for because we changed so much
Speaker 5: and I think it'll be very different. But honestly, all
Speaker 5: wedding dresses look the same.
Speaker 1: That's not true, but I mean it's.
Speaker 5: Like it's hard to be different in terms of wedding dresses,
Speaker 5: you know, And so I was like, I don't want different.
Speaker 5: I just want to feel like timeless, elegant, classy.
Speaker 1: I have no doubt you'll be classy. I have a
Speaker 1: little hesitation about the zoom square next to you with
Speaker 1: the angel over his head.
Speaker 4: Come on, could this guy be anything butt? Class you
Speaker 4: look at my halo. It's look at that thing floating
Speaker 4: up there. I didn't even be adorable. I turned off
Speaker 4: all of the filters. I just happened to turn on some.
Speaker 4: I don't even know how.
Speaker 1: So as we get closer, I mean, are you guys,
Speaker 1: how are you feeling about everything?
Speaker 3: Both of you?
Speaker 5: I feel pretty good. The bridle shower was really fun
Speaker 5: just to like have our family. It was fun to
Speaker 5: have because at our engagement party there were so many people.
Speaker 5: It's fun to just have it more intimate and have
Speaker 5: our families interact a bunch more.
Speaker 2: So I'm excited for more of that. And then our friends.
Speaker 1: Dye Richard, Yeah, yeah, I was at the back.
Speaker 3: You didn't see me. I think it's sad.
Speaker 2: He was on the photo booth the whole side.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you had a great time.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I'm excited. I feel less stressed than I
Speaker 2: did like two weeks ago.
Speaker 5: Oh because I went on a rant about how I
Speaker 5: cried for the first time and I was upset.
Speaker 2: And it's gotten a lot better. Since then.
Speaker 3: M well, that's good, that is good.
Speaker 1: Dean, have you over this wedding yet?
Speaker 3: Uh? No, not yet, not yet.
Speaker 4: Kaylen asked in one of her questions at the bridle shower,
Speaker 4: who's gonna be the first one to cry? And she
Speaker 4: seems pretty convinced that it's gonna be me.
Speaker 5: Well, I had to put the answers down and I
Speaker 5: was like Dean, and the Dean convinced me that it
Speaker 5: would be me.
Speaker 2: But I'm not a very emotional person.
Speaker 3: Oh but I am a very emotional person.
Speaker 5: I'm not a very emotional person in front of people.
Speaker 5: I just don't see myself crying.
Speaker 4: M Okay, well, Jared, what do you think? What's your
Speaker 4: take on this third party perspective?
Speaker 1: Hmmm, that's a great question. I mean, if I'm a
Speaker 1: betting man, I'm putting my money on Kaylin because because
Speaker 1: I just think you have more of the capability inside
Speaker 1: of you to get overwhelmed by the moment, where Dean
Speaker 1: might just get more annoyed at the moment and be like,
Speaker 1: is it over yet?
Speaker 2: That's a yeah, I could see that happening, so.
Speaker 1: Like i'd because I I my advice for Dean would
Speaker 1: be to let h. I know it sounds stupid to
Speaker 1: soak in the moment, but you know, realize that, you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's a day. You know, you're you're getting married.
Speaker 1: You're gonna marry Kaylan. You're marrying Kaylen. Like, don't let
Speaker 1: that thought over go over your head.
Speaker 5: We talk about what we were doing in Vegas.
Speaker 4: We were gonna get married this week actually, and just
Speaker 4: like do the legality of it all, but really.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your take on it?
Speaker 5: Because I saw on TikTok they're like, the best advice
Speaker 5: I have is to get married beforehand because it's less stressful,
Speaker 5: there's less paperwork.
Speaker 2: But is it not just signing a document? What do
Speaker 2: you think?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the most uneventful.
Speaker 3: We went to the.
Speaker 1: Courthouse and you did it before too. Yeah, but we
Speaker 1: did it literally two days before our wedding because we
Speaker 1: wanted it to be official. When you know, Alan said
Speaker 1: you're now you are a bride and groom, like you
Speaker 1: may kiss the bride. So it was like, okay, everything's legal.
Speaker 3: Here we go.
Speaker 1: We are a husband and wife. There's no it's not
Speaker 1: like we're leaving the wedding be like, well, we haven't
Speaker 1: signed yet. We still got to go to the courthouse.
Speaker 1: We wanted to make sure everything was done before that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean you just go and you just sign a
Speaker 1: couple of things and you hand in a couple of
Speaker 1: forms and then they're like, all right, cool. You you know,
Speaker 1: according to the where the state of Nevada, you guys
Speaker 1: are a husband and wife, and you're like, all right, great.
Speaker 1: So I would definitely do it beforehand.
Speaker 3: I mean I'm.
Speaker 1: Also like I'm a little bit more like Ashley, where
Speaker 1: it's like I like kind of doing the whole old
Speaker 1: old fashioned, but like wait till the last minute. So
Speaker 1: it's like everything's like this weekend, like it's our wedding weekend,
Speaker 1: like we're officially getting married, and then the wedding's tomorrow
Speaker 1: and then blah blah blah blah blah. Definitely get married
Speaker 1: before and just kind of planned it out because I
Speaker 1: think we had to go back. I think we like
Speaker 1: forgot a document or something like that, and so we
Speaker 1: had to leave and then go back to the coreuse
Speaker 1: and Ashley was word that we weren't going to be married.
Speaker 3: Before our weddings.
Speaker 1: So definitely, like, you know, make sure that you like
Speaker 1: start researching now and you know, get married whenever you
Speaker 1: guys want.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we have to wait because Dean hasn't
Speaker 2: changed his last name.
Speaker 4: Well yeah, right, that's the that's what we need to
Speaker 4: do before doing that, because it would suck to get
Speaker 4: married and then have to both do it, I think,
Speaker 4: or something like that. I was talking to my brother
Speaker 4: about it, and he was saying that we definitely should
Speaker 4: change my name before getting married. Does that take a while?
Speaker 4: Does it take like for him it took a while
Speaker 4: because he did it. He lives in Montana, and I
Speaker 4: don't know how the rules applied to from state to state,
Speaker 4: but he was saying, in Montana, you know, you have
Speaker 4: to do all like the legal things of course, of
Speaker 4: like transferring your name to your Social Security number, all
Speaker 4: that kind of stuff. But he said the thing that's
Speaker 4: like the longest was you have to take out an
Speaker 4: article in the local newspaper saying that, you know, Brad
Speaker 4: Hungler is is changing his name to Brad Bell and
Speaker 4: they have to let that be in the paper for
Speaker 4: two weeks and if anyone objects, you have to, like,
Speaker 4: you know, handle that.
Speaker 1: What is this nineteen thirty Sevenspontana.
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's about that.
Speaker 4: I don't know how that works in Nevada or any
Speaker 4: other states, but at least that's how it was there.
Speaker 4: So he said it took, you know, not long, but
Speaker 4: like a month. I would say from start to finish
Speaker 4: for him, Yeah, I would.
Speaker 3: Get on that.
Speaker 2: But I did bring the paperwork to LA, so I'm
Speaker 2: going to work on that today.
Speaker 3: Oh great, and you brought mine as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I just need all your social and all the personal
Speaker 5: info about you.
Speaker 3: You don't know my social security number.
Speaker 2: You'll never You've never said it to me. You're like,
Speaker 2: you can't know that.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'll just tell you right now. It's one five seven.
Speaker 1: I don't know ashley social security number. You don't, no,
Speaker 1: but I do know her phone number off the top
Speaker 1: of my head. Do you guys know each other's phone numbers?
Speaker 1: I do?
Speaker 2: Dean doesn't.
Speaker 3: Oh gosh, that's so rude of you.
Speaker 2: Stop.
Speaker 3: Do you actually know, Dean? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Of course, I wish I could test this. Can you
Speaker 1: type it in in the chat?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, put in the chat and confirm whether you correct
Speaker 1: or not. It's just such a it's like it's like
Speaker 1: it's just embarrassed. It's like it's insulting that you guys
Speaker 1: think that I wouldn't know that job.
Speaker 2: He's right, I thank yeah.
Speaker 3: You're right. My number is way easier than yours, by
Speaker 3: the way.
Speaker 2: But also you think that because it's your number.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've had that number for twenty years. Come on,
Speaker 3: how is that not the easiest number in the world to.
Speaker 1: Kailin's your yours? Isn't that easy? I mean there's a
Speaker 1: lot of digits in there, and there's there's no like consistency.
Speaker 1: It's you know, usually I try to remember somebody's number
Speaker 1: by like, oh, okay, there's two eighths in there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't see any repetition in yours.
Speaker 4: Yours is like a random number generator. I got zeros,
Speaker 4: I got sevens, I got nine's. Come on, I got
Speaker 4: I got all the good numbers. Yeah, Kerin, your phone
Speaker 4: number would be a great password. Nobody would ever guess it.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, until now, what was I going to say?
Speaker 3: I was going to say something really profound, but.
Speaker 1: Of course you forgot his most profound thing he's ever
Speaker 1: going to say on this podcast, And honestly, that's probably
Speaker 1: gonna wrap it up for this podcast. We're already like
Speaker 1: forty five minutes in.
Speaker 3: No, we can keep going. Let's keep going. You guys
Speaker 3: have got any good poop stories we can share?
Speaker 1: No all the time, I say we go.
Speaker 3: For another I say we go for another ten minutes.
Speaker 3: Sure we want to talk about Well, I'm glad you asked,
Speaker 3: because there's something I really want to talk about.
Speaker 2: You don't know what it is, No, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm just trying to go off the top of my
Speaker 3: head here. Let's be nothing, Let's be podcast toists. We
Speaker 3: can do this. We can think of something to talk
Speaker 3: about for tang.
Speaker 5: You're also on single dad mood this week or solo
Speaker 5: dad mode.
Speaker 3: That's Alistair.
Speaker 4: I got a little al with me. Oh man, he's
Speaker 4: the best dog ever. When Kaylen's gone, he like, you know,
Speaker 4: when Kaylen's here, he splits time between the two of us.
Speaker 4: But when I when she's gone, he'll like chase me
Speaker 4: around all over the house. He'll be like nipping out
Speaker 4: my ankles, like hopping around. If I'm just even going
Speaker 4: from like the bathroom to the office or something, or
Speaker 4: I go outside and he sprints out the door.
Speaker 3: Or I go in the garage and I'm working in
Speaker 3: the garage and I like find like a little thing
Speaker 3: to lay on top of while I'm sitting out there
Speaker 3: working on the garage or in the garage. It's the bat.
Speaker 3: I will say.
Speaker 1: We'll say one thing now that like being a parent
Speaker 1: and especially dealing with Dawson. You guys are not gonna
Speaker 1: like this because I'm like just an angry old man.
Speaker 1: Now they're like nobody and I used to say this too,
Speaker 1: So I'm bashing myself. But nobody, nobody can tell me
Speaker 1: they're a dog parent anymore.
Speaker 3: If you have a dog, mm, you're not a parent.
Speaker 1: You don't know what the hell you're in for.
Speaker 3: I would.
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm inclined to agree with you. I'm not
Speaker 4: saying it's on the same level whatsoever. But you know
Speaker 4: it's a good it's a good like.
Speaker 3: No, it's not.
Speaker 1: No, it's not I'm telling you. I used to think
Speaker 1: the same thing, bro.
Speaker 3: And I understand.
Speaker 1: I understand it's a differently lens of us into parenthood.
Speaker 5: No, I think the only thing dogs do they make
Speaker 5: you like a little bit less selfish and like it's
Speaker 5: a good maybe from an odd parent, maybe a good
Speaker 5: intro to be like a little less selfish and then
Speaker 5: get into parenthood.
Speaker 1: I will say it's a red flag if you have
Speaker 1: a dog and like one partner is just ignoring the
Speaker 1: dog and you have to do everything, that would be
Speaker 1: obviously a big red fag could be. But even though,
Speaker 1: I will say, when we got Lois, I took care
Speaker 1: of Lois and I helped trained her and clean up
Speaker 1: her poop because Ashley like would I'm not joking, she
Speaker 1: would gag anytime she lowess would poop in the house.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, this is not good. But Ashley has
Speaker 1: been the best mom anybody could ask for. I mean,
Speaker 1: she takes ownership, she takes initiative, she cleans, she she's
Speaker 1: so good with Dawson, and so she was great with Lois.
Speaker 1: But like, judging by our handling of the dog, you
Speaker 1: would have assumed that I would be taking care of
Speaker 1: a lot of the poop and all that stuff. But no,
Speaker 1: Ashley really digs her hands in there, gets them dirty.
Speaker 4: That's good because I can't picture Kitlen really getting poopy
Speaker 4: at all.
Speaker 2: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 5: I pick up Elister's poop more than you, and I
Speaker 5: am one of seven. I was changing diapers when I
Speaker 5: was growing up.
Speaker 3: I was changing diapers before I was born.
Speaker 5: You've never changed one diaper ever, Okay, you never dip.
Speaker 3: Wh Why would I ever change a diaper?
Speaker 4: It'd be weird for a grown man to change someone
Speaker 4: else's baby's diaper.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just to try it.
Speaker 3: I've asked. I've asked a million times. I'll ask.
Speaker 4: I'll walk by a stranger on the street and say, hey,
Speaker 4: is that diaper dirty? I'd love to be able to
Speaker 4: change it for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I always just look at me weird and run away.
Speaker 3: But what is interesting actually what I found out the
Speaker 3: run away and.
Speaker 1: They're like, I think fucking Dean for the Bachelor just
Speaker 1: asked to change my kids diaper.
Speaker 3: Who watched my baby's dirty diaper? I don't know why?
Speaker 5: Weird?
Speaker 1: I knew he was a weirdo.
Speaker 2: I was at our friend's house.
Speaker 5: I don't want to call him out and say who
Speaker 5: they were, but they watched their brother's baby and the
Speaker 5: girl was trying to figure out which way the diaper goes,
Speaker 5: and she's like, well, women's underwear, the butt is bigger
Speaker 5: and then the front is smaller.
Speaker 2: You know on women's under if you look at the
Speaker 2: shape of them. Okay, So she figured.
Speaker 5: Out how the diaper was and they were like, how
Speaker 5: did we do like watching baby blah blah blah, and
Speaker 5: they were like it was good, except you put the
Speaker 5: diaper on backwards, so all of the poop and all
Speaker 5: of the pea just like came out of it, and
Speaker 5: like rude is.
Speaker 2: So I just hope you don't do that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't do that.
Speaker 2: Bro.
Speaker 3: Well I'm not actually going to change the stranger's baby's diaper.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no. But when we have our own, what
Speaker 1: about your brothers?
Speaker 3: What about your your niece.
Speaker 4: Look if my brother came to me and was like, hey,
Speaker 4: all have just crapped yourself. I gotta go do this
Speaker 4: thing over here, and it's so time sensitive, I can't
Speaker 4: even change his diaper, Will you change the diaper for me?
Speaker 4: Of course I'd be like, yeah, I'll be the hero
Speaker 4: that you need. I'll step in and change this diaper.
Speaker 4: But like, let's be honest, that's never gonna happen, you.
Speaker 2: Know, But do you know the steps. It's like you
Speaker 2: take a baby wipe, then you.
Speaker 3: Like, of course I could figure it out.
Speaker 4: As long as I take the diaper off and I
Speaker 4: wipe the baby clean, and then I put a clean
Speaker 4: diaper on. I think that's basically all I would need
Speaker 4: to do not like, sure, maybe there I'm missing a
Speaker 4: few steps in there, but it's good enough. It's passable
Speaker 4: until the new diaper, or until there's a new mess
Speaker 4: made in that diaper.
Speaker 3: You know, the baby's not gonna die.
Speaker 1: When you guys have kids, we need to make sure
Speaker 1: that this moment is documented.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, not like sitting here watching YouTube videos of
Speaker 4: how to change a dirty diaper.
Speaker 1: You need to start that repping. You don't even know
Speaker 1: what you're in for.
Speaker 4: All right, I'll start youtubing dirty diapers and how to
Speaker 4: change them.
Speaker 1: When I used to volunteer at this camp, so it
Speaker 1: was there was a four year old I think he was,
Speaker 1: and of course, you know, you have two counselors in
Speaker 1: the bathroom at all times because you got to make
Speaker 1: sure that everybody's you know, you never want to just
Speaker 1: be in alone in the bathroom with a kid. And
Speaker 1: so we were hanging out by the door and it
Speaker 1: was me and then this woman camper, and so we
Speaker 1: were at the front door of the boys room and
Speaker 1: then the kid, you know, had to go poop. So
Speaker 1: he's going and then all of a sudden I hear
Speaker 1: from the stall I'm done. I was like okay, buddy, like,
Speaker 1: just pull up your pants. And then he goes, someone
Speaker 1: needs to wipe me. Oh no, I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 1: because he's you know, his parents wipe. Wait how old
Speaker 1: he was?
Speaker 3: Like three or four I think.
Speaker 1: And then so it was the first time because I
Speaker 1: changed babies dippers before that, but never like a toddlem
Speaker 1: who was able to talk to me. I'm like, this
Speaker 1: is weird. So of course, like went in there and
Speaker 1: then he was like okay, and he just turned around
Speaker 1: and just you know, he was like slightly bending over,
Speaker 1: just waiting for me to wipe his ass. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, here we go. Wait when was this I
Speaker 1: don't know, ten years ago?
Speaker 2: Maybe.
Speaker 4: Okay, so you have wiped a few butts, a few
Speaker 4: other butts in your life. I can honestly say I've
Speaker 4: never wiped someone else's butt in my life, except for
Speaker 4: my own.
Speaker 1: I would never want to wipe an old person's. But
Speaker 1: my friend works in oh what is it, what is
Speaker 1: it called? Yeah, but hospice, and so God bless you.
Speaker 1: If you were listening to this podcast and you have
Speaker 1: to do anything like that, you're a nurse or you
Speaker 1: work in a you know, a nursing home. You just
Speaker 1: I salute you because you one day you might be
Speaker 1: wiping my ass and I, I really I can't tell
Speaker 1: you how much that means to me.
Speaker 4: Isn't it interesting how you come into this world needed
Speaker 4: to get your butt wiped, and you go out of
Speaker 4: this world needed to get your butt wiped.
Speaker 2: So that we started with poop and we ended with poop.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we wanted a full circle part.
Speaker 3: It's an homage to life. Man, I'm telling you.
Speaker 2: What great, Well, you won't talk about poop.
Speaker 4: Oh doubtful I'm going to because up at that point
Speaker 4: I'll have used my truck toilet sea.
Speaker 3: So we already.
Speaker 1: Talk about starting off the podcast with a wonderful story
Speaker 1: next week.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but hey, you guys, I think that's gonna about
Speaker 4: do it. For this week's episode of Helping Suck at
Speaker 4: Being NELI, it's Calyn. Thank you for joining us from
Speaker 4: we work in Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: You're welcome. You know what we wor should sponsor this podcast?
Speaker 3: Yeah, they should.
Speaker 4: I don't think your audio quality is that great, though,
Speaker 4: so I don't think that they're going to want to
Speaker 4: be associated with me.
Speaker 5: Easton said, last time we were on my phone, he
Speaker 5: was like, I don't know what you were using, but
Speaker 5: the audio was great.
Speaker 3: Maybe you're talking about yeah, the echo.
Speaker 2: We'll see.
Speaker 4: In fact, you might tend to have to, like Jared
Speaker 4: and I probably have to go back through and like
Speaker 4: dub over your voice just to make it the audio
Speaker 4: a little bit more.
Speaker 2: I fidelity hilarious.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that would be hilarious and it would never happen.
Speaker 4: But there was something else I wanted to talk about
Speaker 4: this week, but I can't remember what it is, so
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna have to save it for next week,
Speaker 4: where maybe we suck just a little bit less.
Speaker 3: Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at help we
Speaker 3: Suck at.
Speaker 5: Being Newlyweds, and email us at Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 1: Make sure to write us a review and leave us
Speaker 1: five stars. We'll see you next time.