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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, please

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. All right, we could be reading

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Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're going

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Speaker 1: to be reading this one right here, right now today.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, bug a la, hold on tight, we got it

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Speaker 2: for you. Here. It is the Strawberry.

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Speaker 1: Letter subject my best friend is just trying to help out.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been married to my husband for

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Speaker 1: eight years and we have a five year old and

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Speaker 1: a two year old daughter. My husband has five other kids,

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Speaker 1: not including the two we have together. Yes, I know

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Speaker 1: this is a lot of kids. However, I want to

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Speaker 1: try for another baby next year. I am thirty two

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Speaker 1: and he is forty, and he says he is too

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Speaker 1: old to have more kids. I don't have a son

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Speaker 1: and would like to try for a son. I always

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Speaker 1: told him I wanted to have three children. We don't

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Speaker 1: have sex because he says he doesn't want to get

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Speaker 1: me pregnant, and if we do have sex, he buys

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Speaker 1: me the Plan B pill to avoid any possible pregnancies.

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Speaker 1: I even asked if we can adopt, and he still

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Speaker 1: said no. I am starting to resent my husband and

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Speaker 1: this is causing a strain on our relationship because I

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Speaker 1: want another baby. We are financially stable enough to have

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Speaker 1: another baby. I confide it, and my best friend, who

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Speaker 1: happens to be a manned and he offered me his sperm.

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Speaker 1: As you know, he would donate the sperm and sex

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Speaker 1: would not be involved. When I told my husband about

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Speaker 1: my best friend's offer, he flipped out and was highly upset.

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Speaker 1: He said that would be committing a sin, breaking the

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Speaker 1: vows of marriage, and he would not accept the baby

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Speaker 1: as his child. He also said he would divorce me

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Speaker 1: if I even brought it up again. I think it

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Speaker 1: is very unfair because he won't give me another baby.

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Speaker 1: It's my body and if I want another baby, I

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Speaker 1: should be able to get pregnant and have another baby.

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Speaker 1: Am I wrong here?

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Speaker 2: Please help? Well?

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Speaker 1: You know you're both wrong, and I'll tell you why.

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Speaker 1: You for going to another man outside of your marriage

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Speaker 1: to get another baby. I mean, that's not the way

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Speaker 1: you do it. And of course your husband is wrong

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Speaker 1: for just shutting you out, not even hearing of your

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Speaker 1: requests for being so mean and closed minded about you.

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Speaker 1: You're his wife. He should be, you know, compassionate and

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Speaker 1: understanding as to how you feel. I get that he

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Speaker 1: already has five children in addition to the two daughters

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Speaker 1: that you guys have together. But you have to talk,

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Speaker 1: and you should have talked to each other before you

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Speaker 1: got here to this place. He's only forty, and while

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Speaker 1: he may say that's too old, it's not too old.

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Speaker 1: I think it's just that he is tired of having kids.

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Speaker 1: Seven kids. You said it in a letter. That's a

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Speaker 1: lot of kids by anyone's standard. Seven kids is a

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Speaker 1: lot of kids. You say you're financially stable enough to

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Speaker 1: have a lot of kids, to have more kids, but

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Speaker 1: you know, if your husband doesn't want to have kids,

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Speaker 1: you guys have to be on the same page as

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Speaker 1: far as it's concern you. On the other hand, are

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Speaker 1: only thirty two. You're still young enough. You're perfectly within

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Speaker 1: your rights to want more children and to try for

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Speaker 1: a boy if that's what you want, But you can't

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Speaker 1: do it with this husband because he's not interested. You

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Speaker 1: guys have a major issue in your marriage. I don't

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Speaker 1: see how you can come to an agreement or a compromise.

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Speaker 1: I really don't. He doesn't want any more children. He

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Speaker 1: doesn't want any more children. You do, period, Okay, period?

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Speaker 1: You here. I think I can confidently say this that

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Speaker 1: if you do have another child, it won't be with

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Speaker 1: your current husband unless you trick them or trap him

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Speaker 1: or something like that. And if you go to your

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Speaker 1: friend and get his sperm, you're gonna be done with

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Speaker 1: this marriage. This marriage is practically over anyway because of

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Speaker 1: your husband's rules. He doesn't want another kid you do.

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Speaker 1: He won't accept the baby as his own. If you

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Speaker 1: have another one, he doesn't want to adopt. You have

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Speaker 1: no options here. You have no options here, Steve.

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Speaker 3: Well, Shirley, I have different take on this. I believe

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Speaker 3: that she does have options, and I'll tell you why

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Speaker 3: as soon as y'all ask me why.

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Speaker 2: Steve.

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Speaker 3: She's been married to her husband for eight years and

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Speaker 3: they got a five year old and two year old together.

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Speaker 2: They both girls.

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Speaker 3: My husband has five other kids, not including the other

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Speaker 3: the two we have together. Now, let's stop right here.

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Speaker 3: He'll go the whole damn problem right here. It's them

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Speaker 3: five other damn kids. This is the reason he's struggling

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Speaker 3: with another one, So don't take it personal. It ain't you,

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Speaker 3: it's them damn other ones. That's where the problem comes

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Speaker 3: in at. We don't know where they strolled all out at.

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Speaker 3: They could be citywide, statewide, state wide, countrywide, they may

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Speaker 3: be global international. We don't know.

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Speaker 2: But there's a lot of money. Now, if he.

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Speaker 3: Farting, I'm assuming he started having kids around twenty eighteen,

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Speaker 3: maybe that means he's still paying child support.

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Speaker 2: You'll see. That's where he don't want no more kids.

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Speaker 3: See, y'all may be financially stable, but that child support

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Speaker 3: choking homie, that's your problem right there. Now you say, yes,

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Speaker 3: I know, that's a lot of kids, but you want

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Speaker 3: to try for another one because you're thirty two and

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Speaker 3: he forty. He say too old to have more kids.

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Speaker 3: That's not true. You can have more kids past forty.

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Speaker 3: Now you don't got a boy, and you want a boy.

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Speaker 3: And always you always told him you wanted three kids.

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Speaker 3: And now y'all ain't having sex because he say he

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Speaker 3: don't want to get me pregnant. If we do have sex,

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Speaker 3: he buy me to plan bet pill to avoid any

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Speaker 3: possible pregnance, and you take the damn pill.

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Speaker 2: But this man make buying a pill, making you take

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Speaker 2: it standing there, watch you swallow it. This ain't no marriage.

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Speaker 1: All right, hang on to that thought, Steve. We have more.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response when we come

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Speaker 1: back at twenty three after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters

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Speaker 1: subject to my best friend is just trying to help

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Speaker 1: out here. Okay, we'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening, Steve Hardy Morning Show. All right, Steve, let's

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Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry Letters subject my best friend is just

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Speaker 1: trying to help out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you got this husband you've been married to. Y'all

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Speaker 3: got two kids, but he got five other kids. You

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Speaker 3: want another baby because you want to try for a boy.

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Speaker 3: You thirty two, he forty. He say he too old

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Speaker 3: to half kids. You told him when y'all got married,

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Speaker 3: y'all want to have three kids. He say he ain't

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Speaker 3: having it, And y'all don't hardly have sex because he

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Speaker 3: don't want to get you pregnant. Then when you do

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Speaker 3: have sex, he buy a pill to play and be

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Speaker 3: pill and make you take it to avoid any possible pregnancies.

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Speaker 2: You asked this.

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Speaker 3: Fool, could you adopt? And he still said no, I'm

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Speaker 3: starting to resent rup. My husband's causing a strain under

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Speaker 3: our relationship because you want another baby. Now you say

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Speaker 3: you're financially stable. Now here's the problem. You went to

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Speaker 3: your best friend who happens to be a man. He

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Speaker 3: offered his spurn hard let's stop right here. Anybody got

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Speaker 3: problem with this? Here?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sin, we'll offer his spurn both men.

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Speaker 3: I know he is willing to offer spurm. That's where

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Speaker 3: the term sperm donor came from. Because matter fact, we

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Speaker 3: like giving it up so much, we'll give it to

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Speaker 3: people we don't know.

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Speaker 2: We don't even have to care about you. We have

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Speaker 2: extra we want to donate it to you.

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Speaker 3: Now, your damn best friend, who is a man, then

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Speaker 3: told you that he'll offer you his sperm. And then,

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Speaker 3: as you said in the letter, as you know, he

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Speaker 3: would donate the sperm and sex would not be involved.

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Speaker 2: Lady, that's what he said.

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Speaker 3: But he your best friend because he's attracted to you,

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Speaker 3: and now he's so attracted to you, he said, I

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Speaker 3: donate my spurm.

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Speaker 2: He been wanting to say this all along.

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Speaker 3: This is just the topic that then came up, and

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Speaker 3: you said, as you know, he would donate the sperm

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Speaker 3: and sex would not be involved.

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Speaker 2: Well, sex might not be involved, but you're gonna have

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Speaker 2: to get that sperm though.

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Speaker 3: Hello at church, say, man, you might not have that,

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Speaker 3: but you gotta get it, and you can't leave it

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Speaker 3: where it is. To have it got to come out. Hello,

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Speaker 3: How you think we're gonna get it out of the

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Speaker 3: little house.

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Speaker 2: He live in.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm dead serious. Something got to happen. You stop

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Speaker 3: all this. He we don't have to have sex. We're

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Speaker 3: gonna have something now. Then your crazy ass went in

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Speaker 3: the house told your husband about your best friend's offer.

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Speaker 3: Your husband flipped, was highly upset. He said this would

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Speaker 3: be committing a sound like it to me because he

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Speaker 3: ain't real show what he mean by he want to

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Speaker 3: donate some spur because your husband got a real good idea.

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Speaker 2: Of what donating sperm mean.

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Speaker 3: You'd be breaking the vials of the marriage because all

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Speaker 3: he says, y'all see is you having sex or getting

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Speaker 3: that sperm donated some kind of way and said he would.

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Speaker 2: Not accept the child as he is. Hell, it ain't.

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Speaker 3: It ain't his baby, it's your best friend's baby. He

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Speaker 3: also said he divorced you if you bought it up again.

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Speaker 3: Now you think it's very unfair because he won't give

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Speaker 3: me another baby. It's my body and if I want

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Speaker 3: another baby, I should be able to get pregnant to

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Speaker 3: have a baby. Lady, you are one hundred percent correct now,

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Speaker 3: Shirley said this right here. It won't be with this

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Speaker 3: dude right here. Unless you just go on and have

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Speaker 3: sex with your husband and quit taking that damn pill.

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Speaker 2: Then you gonna have a baby. Then what he gonna do?

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Speaker 2: But then guess what.

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Speaker 3: Don't nobody really want to have a baby with somebody

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Speaker 3: that don't want a baby. But it happens all the time,

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Speaker 3: and you can act like some women and go, well,

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Speaker 3: he'll grow to love the child. He might, But he

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Speaker 3: might quit loving you though, because he will be resembful

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Speaker 3: because he'd have sold all his wireloads with all these

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Speaker 3: other chicks and got these five other kids. Now he

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Speaker 3: want to shut it down, and you done told him

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Speaker 3: you want three. You should be able to get pregnant

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Speaker 3: and have a baby. But surely's right, probably won't be

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Speaker 3: with this dude right here? And am I wrong here?

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Speaker 2: Please help me? Well, if you want to have another

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Speaker 2: baby and he don't, you gonna.

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Speaker 3: Have to go have another baby, and you do have

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Speaker 3: the right, but I think you told your husband you

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Speaker 3: wanted three kids in the beginning. Now somewhere along the

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Speaker 3: line this child support whooping his ass. He don't see it,

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Speaker 3: so now he is issuing ultimatums. But the biggest mistake

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Speaker 3: you made was his sperm donor conversation with your husband,

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Speaker 3: because now he got a platform for him to stand on.

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Speaker 3: That ain't got nothing to do with the pregnancy or

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Speaker 3: the baby. Now he didn't use this divorce to really

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Speaker 3: shut you down. It's a cold, tricky pulling on you.

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Speaker 3: What it's working because you done wrote in a letter.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what to tell you, ma'am, but it

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Speaker 3: don't look like you'll be having a baby with your husband.

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Speaker 2: And don't leave your.

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Speaker 3: Husband for your best friend, please, and do not take

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Speaker 3: your best friend. Spur and your loan is some sperm

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Speaker 3: to I get on my that's all. She's okay, you

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Speaker 3: some spur, All right, look, all right, thank you.

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Speaker 1: You can post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harvey FM.

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Speaker 2: Way to God, I'll give it right back.

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Speaker 1: Don't forget to check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.

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Speaker 1: You're listening Harvey Morning Show