Speaker 1: Previously on Miller High Life presents The Heavyweight Diaries. I
Speaker 1: want ten heavyweight pitches on my desk by Monday. It's
Speaker 1: coming along ridonculously amazing. I say, let's have a listening
Speaker 1: party in a week. I pray to God. Timothy Nelson,
Speaker 1: Timothy Nelson, Timothy Nelson doesn't burst in. We can listen
Speaker 1: while eating healthy treats. In the office on Monday, Timothy
Speaker 1: Nelson is seated man spreadedly at a desk between producers
Speaker 1: Khalila Holt and Stevie Lane hey Man. Timothy Nelson says,
Speaker 1: why is Timothy Nelson in our office? I ask, I'm
Speaker 1: here to negotiate the number of heavy's weight you demand
Speaker 1: of your staff, says Timothy Nelson. We've unionized, says producer Holt,
Speaker 1: tentatively raising her fist. Timothy Nelson is our union representative.
Speaker 1: You have authorized this man to speak on your behalf.
Speaker 1: I ask why. I've never seen this man before in
Speaker 1: my life. We all know it's a boldfaced lie. I
Speaker 1: had actually been stuck with Timothy Nelson in the office
Speaker 1: elevator that very morning, as I overheard him bore one
Speaker 1: of the studio engineers with a meandering story about how
Speaker 1: he and his girlfriend had ordered delivery from the subway
Speaker 1: sandwich just below his apartment. It was a sad, punishingly
Speaker 1: boring tale that, after what felt like fifteen or twenty
Speaker 1: interminable minutes, climaxed in some sort of gift of the
Speaker 1: magi nonsense in which her sandwich ordered sans olives was
Speaker 1: presented with olives, and his order ordered with olives was
Speaker 1: received without a single one. By the time I finally
Speaker 1: exited the elevator, I felt as though my brain had
Speaker 1: been soaked in white out. Now we both know that
Speaker 1: ten heavyweight pitches is ridiculous, says Timothy Nelson, no longer
Speaker 1: some elevator buffoon, but a genuine threat to my dominion.
Speaker 1: Everyone knows, Timothy Nelson continues, the amount of care and
Speaker 1: craft that goes into a heavyweight it makes every other
Speaker 1: Gimlet show sound like two leprechauns shouting in a barrel.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to assume that such a proposal is
Speaker 1: just more of your inscrutable deadpan comedy. Now, what can
Speaker 1: you reasonably propose? Who pray Telle voted for this nightmare?
Speaker 1: I ask, my voice trembling gimblet Media editor Jorge Just
Speaker 1: Stevie says he was in the moment Timothy Nelson promised
Speaker 1: expired yogurt and Miller Highlife in the Gimlet Media break room. Oh,
Speaker 1: how will I ever find hopeful stories of sadness and
Speaker 1: regret under these working circumstances? I shriek. The shriek has
Speaker 1: barely escaped my lips. When CEO and Gimlet Media founder
Speaker 1: Alex Bloomberg cranes his six hundred dollars haircut through the
Speaker 1: office door, knock, knock, he calls out in a sing
Speaker 1: song voice, are we all set for our listening party?
Speaker 1: Can't wait to hear the first episode of the new
Speaker 1: season of Heavyweight Union. Bylaw three oh one, Adenda two
Speaker 1: dictates that all listening parties must be supplied with olives,
Speaker 1: both black and green. Says Timothy Nelson. I happen to
Speaker 1: have a few jars of colamadas in my file cabinet,
Speaker 1: exclaims Bloomberg. I'll be right back in mere seconds. Bloomberg
Speaker 1: would return, dressed in his listening smock, ready for a
Speaker 1: preview party, at which, save for the sound of Timothy
Speaker 1: Nelson gobbling fistfuls of olives and the rumblings of my
Speaker 1: own intemperate bowels, there would be absolutely nothing to listen to.
Speaker 1: This has been Chapter five of the Heavyweight Diaries. The
Speaker 1: next season of Heavyweight will begin in four weeks on
Speaker 1: September twenty sixth. The best place to listen to Heavyweight
Speaker 1: is on Spotify. The second best place to listen to
Speaker 1: Heavyweight is over the stadium sound system during the Super
Speaker 1: Bowl halftime show, Sitting quietly in rapt attention with seventy
Speaker 1: five thousand tie eyed friends. Heavyweight is me Jonathan Goldstein
Speaker 1: along with Jorge just Stevie Lane, Khalila Holt, and Ba Parker.
Speaker 1: This episode was mixed by Emma Munger, music by Bobby Lord.
Speaker 1: Our ad music is Valdi Spring performed by the Wichita
Speaker 1: State University Chamber Players. Will have a new chapter of
Speaker 1: the Heavyweight Diaries next week