Speaker 1: Sometimes you got to restart everything in your.
Speaker 2: Life that is a fact, and you will be surprised
Speaker 2: how much mental clarity a detox can bring that asks.
Speaker 1: It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight
Speaker 1: from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become
Speaker 1: Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.
Speaker 3: Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It
Speaker 3: was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.
Speaker 1: Be raw or but most apportly be us.
Speaker 3: But as we know, life keeps evolving, and so do
Speaker 3: we And through it all, one thing has never changed.
Speaker 1: This is.
Speaker 3: Because we got a lot to talk about. All right,
Speaker 3: story times. I'm gonna take it over today. I think
Speaker 3: I do a storytime once every blue ass moon. But
Speaker 3: for me, let me take it back to I know
Speaker 3: you like to do like a time frame. Let's take
Speaker 3: it back to the top of Maya. I would say
Speaker 3: top of may is a good place to start the story.
Speaker 3: So we were simultaneously assisting both sets of pearents with
Speaker 3: closing on their homes. Devo's dad came down here for
Speaker 3: Jackson's birthday in April and after a brief quick conversation
Speaker 3: about you know finances where they are, what's next? Deval
Speaker 3: proposed the question to his dad, you know, like, why
Speaker 3: don't y'all just retire? Why don't yad? I mean you
Speaker 3: are retired. Why don't y'all just move down here to Georgia?
Speaker 3: I mean you've been wanting to come down now that
Speaker 3: Devo's mom is officially retired. Why not? Like, what's stopping you?
Speaker 3: What's your plan? So you can correct me if I'm wrong,
Speaker 3: But your dad kind of looked at you, thought for
Speaker 3: a second, and was just like, you know what, we
Speaker 3: should move.
Speaker 1: It literally went just like that, we should move.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And that was on like a Monday. Jackson's birthday was
Speaker 3: on a Monday, and by Friday, Devo's dad we affectionately
Speaker 3: called Scoop you don't know Scoop, myself and our good
Speaker 3: friend Curtis Lancaster, who was an amazing realtor. Out here,
Speaker 3: we're looking at houses for Papapa, Scoop and Nana, and
Speaker 3: I don't think your mom quite understood what was happening.
Speaker 3: I think she was just like, AhR, yeah, let's start
Speaker 3: looking at some houses. We'll see what's out there. We
Speaker 3: put in an offer by Saturday, yeah, you know, after
Speaker 3: looking at maybe two houses, your father was like, this
Speaker 3: is the one that house ended up falling through had
Speaker 3: a bad inspection. So we went back on the hunt
Speaker 3: a couple of days later and found what is now
Speaker 3: the house. So in the middle of that, my parents
Speaker 3: we were also simultaneously helse hunting. We've been on and
Speaker 3: off for two years. But of course y'all know my
Speaker 3: dad wasn't well in his health crisis and whatnot. We
Speaker 3: paused the house hunt and we decided to start looking again.
Speaker 3: Top of May. Devau said May first would be a
Speaker 3: good day to start looking.
Speaker 5: So.
Speaker 3: We buit off a bit more than we could chew
Speaker 3: de that was in the middle of filming Satima I
Speaker 3: trying to juggle both sets of parents paperwork. Financial also
Speaker 3: didn't wait till May. I was looking at for my
Speaker 3: mom last week of April and happened to found something
Speaker 3: that we loved and I'll put in an offer. But
Speaker 3: that house was not the one May first, though, because
Speaker 3: my husband said to wait till May first. Ladies listened
Speaker 3: to your husband. Okay, May first was the day. So yeah,
Speaker 3: we found the house and put the offer in simultaneously
Speaker 3: closing on the houses but also in de Valle and
Speaker 3: I trying to figure out how we can get our
Speaker 3: trust approved and everything confirmed before we purchased the homes.
Speaker 3: It was just a lot of things happened in the
Speaker 3: one time, in addition to just coming off of the
Speaker 3: previous nine months of dealing with everything my dad had
Speaker 3: going on. Of course, you guys know, I had a
Speaker 3: couple losses in the family, so there were heavy It
Speaker 3: was heavy. It was a very heavy, heavy time, and
Speaker 3: I was just spread thin. So there were just too
Speaker 3: many things happening. I needed a break. I felt like
Speaker 3: Devell and I were having sent moments of I wouldn't
Speaker 3: even say arguments, just like bickering physically, Yeah, we were
Speaker 3: bickering physically. I felt like I was just at my max,
Speaker 3: like I couldn't take any more of the output that
Speaker 3: was happening. Nothing was being restored. I was spread way thinned.
Speaker 3: Deva was spread thin. We were just barely staying afloat.
Speaker 3: The kids were ending the school year, so there's a
Speaker 3: ton of things that happened to that had to be
Speaker 3: done at the end of the school year, celebrations, graduations,
Speaker 3: travel and all the things. So I felt like I
Speaker 3: needed a reset I needed to shut shit down everything
Speaker 3: and then refocus on myself first, so that way I
Speaker 3: would be better equipped to be an asset to my
Speaker 3: husband and my children, because for far too long, I
Speaker 3: felt like I was just spreading myself then being everything
Speaker 3: to everyone, and it was to my detriment. So I
Speaker 3: did a fourteen day detox, y'all, raw raw food detox.
Speaker 3: Made it all fourteen days, and I feel amazing, and
Speaker 3: I'll share more with y'all when we come back.
Speaker 1: She had on the second to last day, she had
Speaker 1: three of them my scene.
Speaker 3: Three of them I seen.
Speaker 1: I was like, why would you do that? And you
Speaker 1: had two kernels of popcorn I did. She was perfect
Speaker 1: for thirteen eight hours and she had a little bit,
Speaker 1: But that's the little bit.
Speaker 3: It's like we were in that was our second time
Speaker 3: going to the movie, and I didn't like. I didn't
Speaker 3: know notchos, no popcorn, nothing.
Speaker 1: The funny thing is popcorn. It says on the detox
Speaker 1: that you should try to do the detox up to
Speaker 1: fifteen percent, right.
Speaker 3: It said you should try to do it one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Rong, one hundred percent rong, So you were probably like
Speaker 1: ninety nine point five percent role I think you accomplished it.
Speaker 3: I was, Yeah, I was. Essentially, I didn't have anything
Speaker 3: cooked for fourteen days. I have fruits and vegetables, with
Speaker 3: the exception of three cheetos and two kernels of popcorns.
Speaker 3: I don't even count that. I probably shut that out.
Speaker 3: I definitely did, because it was there was a lot
Speaker 3: of that happening.
Speaker 1: You've been talking about that a lot lately too. Every
Speaker 1: time we sit down with Jackson, she'd be asking about poop.
Speaker 1: I don't understand what.
Speaker 3: I want to make sure everybody's regularly, y'all.
Speaker 1: I want to make sure detoxes always want to talk
Speaker 1: about poop. Nobody want to talk about police.
Speaker 3: And you have to see what's coming out from the
Speaker 3: inside because.
Speaker 1: Nobody want to hear that. Man break bro y'all. See
Speaker 1: what I'm when people going detalking, what they.
Speaker 3: Do inside is murky like a swamp. I'm telling you
Speaker 3: all right back for karaokea time. So this has nothing
Speaker 3: to do with nothing, y'all. That's just my song right now.
Speaker 3: It's a little bout for the summer. Shout out to
Speaker 3: young Miami where my scamming Nick, Oh my Matt, you're
Speaker 3: ready to back me up? The scamming niggas. It's my
Speaker 3: song you song to. This is not your saying it's
Speaker 3: your song though, Oh my scamming niggas. Where y'all at
Speaker 3: where y'all last?
Speaker 4: Hey, Hey, y'all bag boosting bitches?
Speaker 3: Where y'all at?
Speaker 1: Where y'all ast? I sound so old?
Speaker 5: Seriously though, she said, y'all, Miami, don't sound like she's.
Speaker 4: A Negro spiritual.
Speaker 3: Spiritual span that ship.
Speaker 4: Ship only black people.
Speaker 5: You can be orally sound. But when that booster comes
Speaker 5: back something.
Speaker 3: I'm back in the Dominican hair salon. Baby. They used
Speaker 3: to come in with all the things. Okay, they were
Speaker 3: boosting everything from dove bar soaps to coach bags.
Speaker 4: I can hear that, Oh you can. They were.
Speaker 3: They were boosting everything from dove soap to coach bags.
Speaker 1: Saying boosting, like do people still say boosting? Y'all boosting?
Speaker 6: Yeah, teeth fell off, the back of the fell off,
Speaker 6: the back of the truck.
Speaker 5: Doesn't just got out of jail from boosting. She was
Speaker 5: selling like school uniforms.
Speaker 4: That was her thing.
Speaker 1: We need those, yeah cookies.
Speaker 3: It's crazy ideal back in Brooklyn. I mean that's a great.
Speaker 1: Market, expensive, right, school stores and speaking to the uniforms
Speaker 1: that they say that every kid gotta have twelve.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness dollars to crazy you and they know
Speaker 3: how kids grow. So whatever, it's fit. Thank God for the.
Speaker 1: Don't even sweat as school man, because it just got
Speaker 1: she's going back.
Speaker 3: She's going. Yeah, she's going back in Georgia right away.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. Thank God the boys are
Speaker 3: all like size of place order because what didn't fit
Speaker 3: Cairol no more is gonna fit cast.
Speaker 1: Events a fact.
Speaker 3: So as long as it's held up and gotten no
Speaker 3: holes and Marcus things all over it, well that's left
Speaker 3: to be seen. All right. All right, let's take a
Speaker 3: quick break and we'll be back with ow op y'all.
Speaker 1: All right, we're back, y'all. Let's see what's going on,
Speaker 1: and yeah.
Speaker 3: What's going on in the world, because I've been detoxed
Speaker 3: and I don't know what's going on. People have been
Speaker 3: I haven't. Just it wasn't just a detox from food, y'all.
Speaker 3: I detoxed from social media for the most part, except
Speaker 3: for sharing a couple of things about my journey. But
Speaker 3: I haven't been in taking so bring me up to
Speaker 3: speed on what's been happening lately.
Speaker 5: Well, lately, there's been two cases in the news and
Speaker 5: both were being defended using the self defense argument. Two
Speaker 5: young black men involved. The first case was Carmelo Anthony.
Speaker 5: You probably heard about that case down in Texas. He
Speaker 5: stabbed and ended up killing another white student who had
Speaker 5: been apparently aggressive toward him during a track meet, and
Speaker 5: there was a lot of discourse about whether or not
Speaker 5: he would be charged, and he eventually was, and recently
Speaker 5: he was just found guilty and I think it's being
Speaker 5: sentenced to thirty five years in prison. He's seventeen years old,
Speaker 5: so there goes his life. The second case happened in
Speaker 5: South Carolina. A fourteen year old boy named Cyrus Carmack
Speaker 5: Belton went into a convenience store. He had a backpack.
Speaker 5: They made him put his backpack down. He picked up
Speaker 5: some bottles of water and put them back, and because
Speaker 5: of that, the store owner thought he was stealing. He
Speaker 5: kind of motioned to show them he didn't have anything
Speaker 5: in his pockets, but he wouldn't take his hands out
Speaker 5: of his pockets, and he ended up leaving the store,
Speaker 5: after which the store owner and his father chased him
Speaker 5: down The street and shot him dead. They claimed that
Speaker 5: it was out of self defense.
Speaker 4: They claimed that.
Speaker 5: He brandished a gun, but there were multiple eyewitnesses who
Speaker 5: said they never saw him holding a gun and that
Speaker 5: shooter Ricky Chow was acquitted. They gave the defense. They
Speaker 5: gave them two options. They said, either murder one or nothing.
Speaker 5: So if he didn't get if he did.
Speaker 4: Not get.
Speaker 5: Sound guilty of first degree murder, he would walk basically,
Speaker 5: and he walked free using the self defense. So I'm like, Oper,
Speaker 5: no Op, is this a case of race racial bias
Speaker 5: in these two situations or do you think that either
Speaker 5: one of these could have or could have not been
Speaker 5: self defense.
Speaker 1: I think that this is one of the cases because
Speaker 1: they happened at the same time. People try to compare
Speaker 1: the cases and say this happened here and this happened here.
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. The first thing I
Speaker 1: want to do is say, with the Carmelo Anthony case,
Speaker 1: nobody on the internet can decide whether he's guilty or innocent. Right,
Speaker 1: so nobody here can go up here and argue what
Speaker 1: the guilt in it because he wasn't there. But I
Speaker 1: will say this the same state, I think it was
Speaker 1: four years ago, there was a young white man, young
Speaker 1: white boy who killed his class mate in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: I think he went in the bathroom, stabbed his class
Speaker 1: made a bunch of times. And this is the part
Speaker 1: that I want to point out to people. No one
Speaker 1: here is saying that Carmelo Anthony, whether he's innocent or guilty,
Speaker 1: or whether he was right or wrong. But what we're
Speaker 1: saying is how the criminal justice system come down on
Speaker 1: black men seems to be very, very unfair, because Carmelo
Speaker 1: Anthony is now getting thirty five years for what happened
Speaker 1: at a track meet, which people are arguing could be
Speaker 1: the self defense or not, whereas the other young white
Speaker 1: man who stabbed a man in the bathroom got ten
Speaker 1: years because the jury felt like it was just a
Speaker 1: tragic mistake. So what I want to point out here
Speaker 1: is how they view black bodies, whether you're the victim
Speaker 1: or whether you're the villain, right, it doesn't matter which
Speaker 1: one you're talking about, whether it's child or whether it's
Speaker 1: Carmelo Anthony. It just seems that when it comes to
Speaker 1: black bodies, they always get discarded and they never get
Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt, even when, especially when it
Speaker 1: comes to young black boys. If it's a young black
Speaker 1: boy involved, whether it was Tamiya Riights, Mike Brown, or
Speaker 1: he was guilty, he was a villain, he's just he's
Speaker 1: made out to be this worst guy. But then when
Speaker 1: it's somebody else, for example, like a Kyle Rittenhouse who
Speaker 1: travels cross state lines with a gun and commits murder,
Speaker 1: he's given the benefit of the doubt. That's what black
Speaker 1: people are arguing about, and no one wants to say it.
Speaker 1: They want to make it seem like it's a carmelo
Speaker 1: versus a child thing. We're not making about those two cases.
Speaker 1: What we're talking about is how the criminal justice system
Speaker 1: sees us as people. And it gets me upset a
Speaker 1: little bit as you hear it, because it's like we've
Speaker 1: been going through this. I remember when I was nine
Speaker 1: years old and it was Rodney King, and you watched
Speaker 1: Rodney King get get his face beat in by cops
Speaker 1: and get willed on, and they all walk away acquit.
Speaker 4: It to Anthony Thomas and Cincinnati, you see.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying. So it's like, then when you say, well,
Speaker 1: why everything got to be about race? This case wasn't
Speaker 1: about race? When has it not been about race for us.
Speaker 5: And it was one hundred percent about race because to
Speaker 5: your point, prosecutors knew that race would because they knew
Speaker 5: that how different people view black bodies. I just feel
Speaker 5: like punishment because what they did was they struck every
Speaker 5: black educator from the jury white jury. Yeah, because they
Speaker 5: didn't want They claimed that educators would see him as
Speaker 5: a student and have more empathy for him because he's
Speaker 5: a student. But they didn't strike any white educators from
Speaker 5: the jury.
Speaker 1: You know why, because we're not viewed in the criminal
Speaker 1: justice system as human. And that's that's what black people
Speaker 1: are arguing.
Speaker 5: People in the school to prison pipeline people as well.
Speaker 5: White teachers go into those schools with biases, especially against
Speaker 5: black boys, and so those biases were more valuable to
Speaker 5: the prosecution than empathy from black adplicators.
Speaker 4: So it is about race.
Speaker 5: People know how race affects outcomes and they use it
Speaker 5: to their advantage. So I definitely think absolutely that that
Speaker 5: was a part. It played a part, for sure.
Speaker 4: For sure.
Speaker 1: I do want to call out the name of the
Speaker 1: young man that was found guilty of stabbing his classmate
Speaker 1: in the bathroom and only got ten years. The reason
Speaker 1: why I want to bring that out because it was
Speaker 1: in the same state. Here it is is they're the
Speaker 1: same ages, right. One boy claims it was self defense.
Speaker 1: The other one they didn't even claim self defense. He
Speaker 1: was being bullied and he went in to attack the boy.
Speaker 1: But they were able to empathize with the young man
Speaker 1: and see him as a student. They didn't want that
Speaker 1: for Carmelo Anthony. And that, to me is what I
Speaker 1: think people don't understand. No one is saying because child
Speaker 1: got off, Carmelo Anthony should have got off. Nobody is
Speaker 1: saying that. What people are saying is do y'all not
Speaker 1: see how they view us in the criminal justice system?
Speaker 1: And it's unfair. That's all people are saying. We can't
Speaker 1: even defend ourselves. Even in the Breonna Tailor case, you
Speaker 1: don't make yourself known. You shoot into her apartment. Her
Speaker 1: boyfriend shot back and then he was I think he
Speaker 1: was charged right, And it's like, as a black man,
Speaker 1: you're not even able to defend your own family.
Speaker 5: Even in the Cyrus karmac Beltan case, the store owners
Speaker 5: chased him out of the store over what they thought
Speaker 5: was stolen bottled water, and then when he allegedly brandished
Speaker 5: the gun, then they had a reason to shoot him.
Speaker 4: But he was gonna shoot him regardless.
Speaker 3: Regardless because was he didn't brandish the gun supposedly in the.
Speaker 4: Stew and not at all, and all of that is
Speaker 4: on camera.
Speaker 3: Right, And then leaving the store, it's like you have
Speaker 3: to go follow somebody like that was like intent.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And even though he was shot in the back,
Speaker 5: you know, normally investigator would say, you can't be You
Speaker 5: can't claim self defense when somebody is shot in the
Speaker 5: back if they're running away from you, right, So he
Speaker 5: shouldn't have even been able to use that because he
Speaker 5: chased that boy down the street, Like it's no longer
Speaker 5: self defense when somebody is running.
Speaker 3: From you, from you exactly.
Speaker 4: But they don't.
Speaker 5: Really care because at the end of the day, what
Speaker 5: the jury thinks is that this young black boy is
Speaker 5: going to cause more problems alive than he is dead.
Speaker 3: So good job, Rick, job exactly.
Speaker 1: I honestly feel like that's where the conversation needs to
Speaker 1: be curated towards, rather than people trying to say child
Speaker 1: versus carmelo. You can't even compare those aren't even those
Speaker 1: apples are orange, right, the scenarios, right, But what I'm
Speaker 1: saying is just look at it an entirely backup, get
Speaker 1: some perspective. Me and me and Matt were talking about this,
Speaker 1: but called zooming out. You know how when you look
Speaker 1: so hard at one case, then you want to couple
Speaker 1: it with another case and you're trying to make comparisons.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you need to just zoom out and look at
Speaker 1: everything in the bigger picture and just see who gets
Speaker 1: sentenced at higher rates for the same crime. Yeah, history
Speaker 1: to tell you that what we was saying right like,
Speaker 1: this is not even something we have to argue. These
Speaker 1: are facts. There's data and statistics, and black people are
Speaker 1: just saying, we're tired of watching it because now you
Speaker 1: got to answer questions. And this is the truth when
Speaker 1: you have young black kids like Jackson, who's asking me
Speaker 1: like why would he get in trouble for that? And
Speaker 1: now I am forced to explain and this is what happens,
Speaker 1: and people don't understand what black families as opposed to
Speaker 1: other families. I now have to have to talk with
Speaker 1: my son about what he has to expect going outside.
Speaker 1: You're not going to be seen as human just like
Speaker 1: everybody else. I have to have that conversation so when
Speaker 1: the cop pulls you up, pulls you over in the car,
Speaker 1: make sure you stay calm, keep your hands at ten
Speaker 1: and two, make sure you smile, make sure you don't
Speaker 1: be aggressive. It's like, I have to have these conversations
Speaker 1: because if something goes wrong, no one's going to see
Speaker 1: my fifteen year old son as a student, as a
Speaker 1: junior National Honor Society. They're going to say, well, he's
Speaker 1: a black kid, so more than likely he's doing these things,
Speaker 1: you know. So I think that's the bigger conversation of
Speaker 1: how they view us, not so much you know, putting
Speaker 1: one against the other, like I wouldn't do that. It's
Speaker 1: not fear that any of the families involved, you know,
Speaker 1: because here's another part of it. Even the young man
Speaker 1: that was murdered, his family deserves empathy too, you know,
Speaker 1: Like we can't just sit here and just say one
Speaker 1: person lost their lives too, two kids lost their lives
Speaker 1: three if you're looking at just those two, and it's
Speaker 1: unfortunately for all the families, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: The other thing, I don't know if you saw this
Speaker 5: before your detox, but jay Z comed out his locks.
Speaker 4: Allegedly it caused the stir on the internet.
Speaker 5: It caused the people just found out that you can
Speaker 5: comb out locks.
Speaker 4: That man, why the alleged, you know, just to keep
Speaker 4: the drama gun.
Speaker 3: I like it. I like it.
Speaker 7: Trip had locks yesterday, cand you tell?
Speaker 4: Can you tell.
Speaker 3: Not your locks overnight?
Speaker 5: I'm tender headed to comb locks out. I can barely
Speaker 5: comb my hair like this.
Speaker 1: That would have to hurt well.
Speaker 3: I follow his here stylist Nikia, and I'm shout out
Speaker 3: to Nikia. She's been working with for a long time,
Speaker 3: and I believe she made a post saying that it
Speaker 3: took a couple of days. But it is possible, y'all
Speaker 3: to come out locks. It is. I'm sure he did
Speaker 3: cut some of it though, because it's his here is
Speaker 3: not as long as it was. But yeah, it's possible.
Speaker 3: All things are possible. To christ I.
Speaker 1: Have no body might never talk about the next month head.
Speaker 3: I like the change up though. The changeup is nice.
Speaker 3: The changeup is nice.
Speaker 1: You see the three of us like may now I
Speaker 1: talk about that when you're going to some locks, like
Speaker 1: if I could grow locks, I grow locks. This part
Speaker 1: right here, I have George Jefferson lot.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 3: I think it's impressive that he still had all that
Speaker 3: here all these years because ja's about how old now
Speaker 3: he's in the fifties.
Speaker 1: I think he's fifty, and.
Speaker 8: It's free for him.
Speaker 1: Lock, Yeah, because he got one big lot, right, I
Speaker 1: would have lots and then a key hole. Disold be
Speaker 1: the key hole because it's not cold.
Speaker 3: The sack locks. Colder sack locks.
Speaker 8: That's crazy.
Speaker 1: Beyond wife, beyond wife.
Speaker 3: That's funny.
Speaker 4: That's all I got.
Speaker 3: Love it tricks, all right. Well, back to my detox, y'all.
Speaker 1: So we needed a detox. Yeah, see I was very
Speaker 1: quiet while she's telling the story. That is why.
Speaker 3: Well you're having flashbacks of like everything we've been going
Speaker 3: through her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we was going through a lot and a lot, y'all,
Speaker 1: as you can tell.
Speaker 3: Did you have to ring the bell because you were
Speaker 3: coming in the garage doors?
Speaker 1: And here's the funny thing. When I answered the phone,
Speaker 1: he said, Hey, Zach, I'm at the gate. It's a
Speaker 1: black man, are you kidding?
Speaker 4: Exact name?
Speaker 1: They see my name. So once they see my name
Speaker 1: and it's a black person.
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, let me throw that in there. That's smart.
Speaker 1: He said. He's, oh, this is exact. I know, I know.
Speaker 1: He probably didn't do it on purpose. Neither. This is
Speaker 1: the ship I go through. That's wow, That's what I
Speaker 1: be stressed about. You want to go stairs real quick
Speaker 1: and see what they're going on.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean I guess I was going if mom
Speaker 3: was here, lifelime, but I guess.
Speaker 9: All right, yep, hold on, y'all, yeah, not heards, make
Speaker 9: sure okay we're good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So I mean we was, we was going
Speaker 1: through it. It was you ever get overstimulated and just
Speaker 1: be like, I'm done with everything and everybody. I have
Speaker 1: been overstimulated since the top of the year. And it's
Speaker 1: funny because when New Year comes around, that's when people
Speaker 1: typically do like a natural reset, right. You start your
Speaker 1: fitness journey, your diet journey. Uh, you set parameters around
Speaker 1: boundaries for your life, and then around March, all that
Speaker 1: shit go out the window because life happens. So it
Speaker 1: was April for us, and it just seemed like we
Speaker 1: were at that point where everything was just going out
Speaker 1: the window and we were just jumping and get everything done.
Speaker 1: And I remember having a conversation with you. This was
Speaker 1: before your actual detox, and I said, Yo, you need
Speaker 1: to get off that phone because me and Kay was beefing.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if this is just us as
Speaker 1: a couple, but it seems like every couple has one
Speaker 1: person who scrolls and one person who waits, so that
Speaker 1: person is done scrolling, you know what I'm saying. And
Speaker 1: I feel like you and I both needed to detox
Speaker 1: from that phone. And when I said to you, like
Speaker 1: you need to give up the phone, you I said
Speaker 1: to me, well, I'm gonna get rid of the phone
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna stop eating all of this stuff that
Speaker 1: we was eating because we were also.
Speaker 10: I don't want to call it emo eating, but we
Speaker 10: were going through a lot.
Speaker 1: At the end of the night, we were just I
Speaker 1: would have two beef patties and coco bread every single night.
Speaker 4: I was wild and.
Speaker 1: For a month and Coco bread.
Speaker 4: We would every night.
Speaker 3: We would just sit down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, ice cream patties. Yea, y'all know I don't eat
Speaker 1: like this. I have the ice cream cookie patties. It
Speaker 1: didn't seem like I was trying to do anything to
Speaker 1: escape from whatever we.
Speaker 3: Do went on, and it was like a late night
Speaker 3: thing too, because it's like, Okay, if you have more
Speaker 3: two things during the day, cool, no body, you will
Speaker 3: work it off, but it's like at the end of
Speaker 3: the night, it was like we're finally able to just
Speaker 3: everyone's asleep, it's just him and I and then it's
Speaker 3: like we're eating and we're talking and we're just trying
Speaker 3: to enjoy what we can of each other.
Speaker 1: Because yes, no, you know.
Speaker 3: That was literally it, you know, And it's funny you say,
Speaker 3: you feel like the top of the year. I feel
Speaker 3: like twenty twenty five rolled into it, and my new
Speaker 3: year started on June first, like it was a delayed
Speaker 3: start to the new year for me because I feel
Speaker 3: like I got no reprieve from anything from last year.
Speaker 1: Remember last year got number. Twenty twenty five started real
Speaker 1: quickly started, Filming.
Speaker 3: Started quick yeah, which was fine. Filming. The show came
Speaker 3: out in June, essence Fest July. We had an amazing
Speaker 3: July with the kids, and that was the last I
Speaker 3: remember of like having a good time. And then it
Speaker 3: was like top of September, Dad gets sick. We paused
Speaker 3: the house. Kids are back to school, so it's the
Speaker 3: school year, and then we're also navigating hurricane and Jamaica,
Speaker 3: losing cg losing my cousin, losing three other cousins. Dad
Speaker 3: in the cancer like there were just so many things
Speaker 3: happening other friends who have health issues, yes, and then
Speaker 3: back to filming in the middle of all of this.
Speaker 3: For me one season and for you two seasons of
Speaker 3: different shows, it's just like it was no reprieve. So
Speaker 3: I think the straw that broke the camel's back for
Speaker 3: me was taking on the load of having to navigate
Speaker 3: the house situations with both sets of parents. You know,
Speaker 3: my dad doesn't have an email address. I don't think
Speaker 3: he ever has had one. You know, my mom is like,
Speaker 3: how do you attach this document to that? How do
Speaker 3: you docu sign? And it's like I was literally getting
Speaker 3: pulled in a thousand directions. So something had to give.
Speaker 3: And I'd been wanting to do this fourteen day raw detox.
Speaker 3: So shout out to High Frequency High Frequency Tease. The
Speaker 3: name of the business, Shanika was the owner. Sources everything
Speaker 3: fresh from Jamaica. She has farmland out there where she
Speaker 3: will harvest all of her crops, herbs, things like that,
Speaker 3: and I just feel like I needed the reset. My
Speaker 3: sister had done it at the top of the year
Speaker 3: and she'd I think two years prior, and she said
Speaker 3: she felt great mental clarity, skin cleared up. She lost
Speaker 3: like ten twelve pounds on it. So I'm like, you
Speaker 3: know what, for me, I know I need an internal
Speaker 3: reset because also dealing with some hell things, you know,
Speaker 3: the low iron, hair shedding, fibroid issues, heavy cycles. There
Speaker 3: was like a bunch of things happening internally that I
Speaker 3: also wanted to kind of get a handle on and regulate.
Speaker 3: So for me, it was about physical but also needing
Speaker 3: the mental clarity and reset brain fog, which I didn't
Speaker 3: even realize I had. I definitely had it because about
Speaker 3: three or four days into it, I was telling Deval,
Speaker 3: I feel like my vision got better, Like I could
Speaker 3: see better. The world looks sharper, Everything looked crisper. I
Speaker 3: cut cold turkey cut coffee for it. You know, I
Speaker 3: have my coffee every morning, which I typically love, so
Speaker 3: I was prepared to have like the ill caffeine withdrawal headache.
Speaker 4: That's my daily detox coffee run right, the.
Speaker 3: New York is noted bodegga coffee hit different. Some people do.
Speaker 3: Some people have that it's for them.
Speaker 5: Josh stomach bro Yeah, I'll be running in for my
Speaker 5: morning walk. I drink some coffee, go outside, for a
Speaker 5: morning walk. I'll be out there for like forty five
Speaker 5: seconds and be like, oh God, I.
Speaker 1: Guess it ain't bad. Coffee ain't bad for you know, I.
Speaker 3: Mean, you know, I guess the cafe.
Speaker 5: It's the sugar, honestly, the sugar and the dairy that
Speaker 5: people mostly mostly put in their coffee. If you drink
Speaker 5: black coffee, it's not necessarily bad for you. Caffeine it
Speaker 5: is not bad for you either, right.
Speaker 1: Because I was thinking, the coffee is a bean, you
Speaker 1: boil a bean, how bad could that be?
Speaker 3: But once you said the milk, you add the facts
Speaker 3: to it, Yeah, it makes it a dessert. At that point,
Speaker 3: you're starting a day with a dessert.
Speaker 1: It's funny you talked about mental clarity. This is the
Speaker 1: biggest thing too for people with detox is that they
Speaker 1: don't understand. You have to sleep on the detox and
Speaker 1: you get a lot of mental clarity when you sleep.
Speaker 1: Most people don't get five hours of sleep straight rim
Speaker 1: sleep that you're supposed to get. Most people don't. We
Speaker 1: always thinking about things. We scroll the night, or we
Speaker 1: watch the TV till we fall asleep, and you can't
Speaker 1: get into a room sleep if you have the TV
Speaker 1: on or if you scroll until you fall asleep. So
Speaker 1: I think the fact that you changed your diet was
Speaker 1: one component. I think it was a huge component. But
Speaker 1: getting off the phone and choosing to sleep, really I
Speaker 1: think helped you with the mental clarity and the brain.
Speaker 3: Fall oh for sure. For sure your body also will
Speaker 3: recover well when you don't eat late. So I was
Speaker 3: pretty much intermittent fasting. I was only able to have
Speaker 3: solid raw foods or fruits and vegetables for eight hours
Speaker 3: out of the day. So I adjusted it the card
Speaker 3: that they send, you know, they send like a packet,
Speaker 3: it's eleven to seven. I just adjusted the time because
Speaker 3: of the summertime, so we've been sleeping in a bit.
Speaker 3: But I was only eating food, food like solid between
Speaker 3: two pm and ten pm, and then that was my
Speaker 3: cutoff point and then we typically stay up until maybe,
Speaker 3: like you know, twelve one ish. And yes, I was
Speaker 3: only eating for eight hours out of the day, and
Speaker 3: I feel like I was getting some of the best sleep.
Speaker 4: Ever.
Speaker 3: Is it rem sleep when they say you dream like
Speaker 3: really Like, I've been dreaming like crazy, all sorts of
Speaker 3: random shit. But that just lets me know when I
Speaker 3: wake up in the morning. I'm refreshed, like ready to
Speaker 3: tackle today versus like dragging myself out of the bed
Speaker 3: and then let me get my coffee so I can
Speaker 3: get a jolt of energy to be able to continue.
Speaker 1: You added something that I completely forgot about digestion while sleep.
Speaker 1: When you don't eat late, your body's not constantly digesting food,
Speaker 1: so you sleep better. And people, you know, people think
Speaker 1: detoxes is typically for I want to lose weight, but
Speaker 1: it really wasn't just about that.
Speaker 8: For you.
Speaker 1: It was also your skin and your hair. And I
Speaker 1: know this might be too much information, but we talk
Speaker 1: a lot on this show. You had your cycle during
Speaker 1: that fourteen day detox, and during that time you still
Speaker 1: had some heavy bleeding because of the fibroids, but you
Speaker 1: had no headaches, you could sleep, you had no dark days, no,
Speaker 1: and your energy was good.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, just in that short amount of time.
Speaker 3: While I was doing that, eating raw and then you're
Speaker 3: taking also these capsules that they provide in the packet,
Speaker 3: and this tea that you have to drink every morning
Speaker 3: thirty two ounces, so I steep it overnight and then
Speaker 3: strain it in the morning. The tea is awful. I'll
Speaker 3: say that I'll put that out there. Anybody who's debating
Speaker 3: about to do it, just prepare yourself as fourteen days
Speaker 3: of a really terrible bitter tea. But what I would
Speaker 3: do is slice up an orange into fourst and I
Speaker 3: would drink half of it, then consume two pieces of
Speaker 3: the orange, and then within the next hour consume the
Speaker 3: other half. But Baby, it cleared my ass out because
Speaker 3: I'm men. Tell y'all, you talk about having to clear
Speaker 3: my ass out, because you're talking about having a rush
Speaker 3: back inside after a walk. Baby. There were about three
Speaker 3: instances where I was driving somewhere. One time that Jackson
Speaker 3: was driving home from somewhere with me and I was
Speaker 3: picking up the food. I was picking up some catering
Speaker 3: fruit to drop off for a friend, and Jackson got
Speaker 3: off the highway to our exit and from the exit
Speaker 3: terror house. It's like about a ten minute drive when
Speaker 3: he's driving, I could have probably did it in five. Baby,
Speaker 3: the way my stomach I called deval. It tried to
Speaker 3: be so calm because I don't want to alarm Jackson
Speaker 3: that I was in crisis. Most Jackson hit the guest
Speaker 3: baby listen. I was like, hey, Baby, do me the
Speaker 3: favorite open the garage door real quick. Just make sure
Speaker 3: everything is open, because you know, once you get close
Speaker 3: to the til toilet, your body is like it's home, free, baby,
Speaker 3: And I'm like, we're not free yet.
Speaker 4: Why is that we not?
Speaker 3: I don't know why that is and it's not just me, right,
Speaker 3: So it happens when.
Speaker 1: You get to that door, and oh, anywhere that happens.
Speaker 7: I could be in the kitchen.
Speaker 1: I'm like, it wasn't like that seconds ago.
Speaker 3: It's like, you know so, and that dad was wearing
Speaker 3: a Maxi dress. I was like trying to struggle to
Speaker 3: get the dress up and I could quick. But I'm
Speaker 3: sure you could have, but you wouldn't want to have been.
Speaker 4: There for the next second.
Speaker 3: You wouldn't want to have been there for the next second.
Speaker 5: So I gotta say, Kadeen, poop stories are the joy
Speaker 5: of my life.
Speaker 1: Then I tell you she talked about poop all the time. Joy.
Speaker 7: I noticed it.
Speaker 1: About her with poop. I live this, bro, I lived.
Speaker 3: This regular, y'all. You know what I'm saying. You gotta
Speaker 3: be aware of what's coming out of your body. And
Speaker 3: every time I pooped, you got to make sure you
Speaker 3: you are aware. Remember when we went to the holistic doctor,
Speaker 3: and she told you how and she said that you
Speaker 3: should talk about so you know, f y. I went
Speaker 3: to the holistic doctor after I did that blood work,
Speaker 3: and she said it should be about twelve inches a
Speaker 3: day pause of poop that should be happening, and it
Speaker 3: doesn't have to be all twelve at once.
Speaker 4: Curl.
Speaker 3: It could write exactly with like a curl, kind of
Speaker 3: like a banana. Yep, yeah, I need y'all.
Speaker 1: I got no, I got no. I'm not describing my
Speaker 1: pool to y'all. I love y'all on the internet, but
Speaker 1: I'm not describing my pool to y'all.
Speaker 3: No, you do not have to describe it. I'm just
Speaker 3: something you would but you'll be describing.
Speaker 1: Your pool to us. She takes pictures of it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like too much, this may be too much. I got
Speaker 1: to show you this, I'd.
Speaker 3: Be like, oh no, for real though, Like seriously.
Speaker 5: My question is you were on your cycle during the detox.
Speaker 5: How did that work out? Like beforehand? Because I know
Speaker 5: during the Judeo phase, I be like insatiable, like I
Speaker 5: will know and just anything.
Speaker 4: I don't eat any thing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and just a whole lot of them Brooks side
Speaker 6: Pommer granted one to joint slap.
Speaker 4: Definitely, I'll have multiple chocolate.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't keep it in the house. I didn't
Speaker 3: keep it in the house. That was my biggest thing.
Speaker 3: I remember I said, oh, I can really go for
Speaker 3: this right now, and then I just didn't have it
Speaker 3: in the house. So you have to literally have the will, the.
Speaker 1: Key for detoxing all of it, not just out of
Speaker 1: your sight, out of your house. The problem is when
Speaker 1: you try to do a detox, whether it's the phone
Speaker 1: or whether it's something, if it's readily available for you,
Speaker 1: you're gonna go back to it. I don't charge my phone.
Speaker 1: I'm still currently detoxing on my phone, so when my
Speaker 1: phone dies, I'm forced to do what put it somewhere
Speaker 1: to charge That to me is my way of doing it,
Speaker 1: and I think more people need to do that.
Speaker 5: And I feel like you also have to be set
Speaker 5: up for everything else in your life so that you
Speaker 5: can focus on the detox. Because I've been to do
Speaker 5: a detox for like the last month, and I'll have
Speaker 5: all the food, no junk in my house, but then
Speaker 5: I won't have something else won't be aligned, like I'll
Speaker 5: be stressed out about work or you know, I'll need
Speaker 5: to pay a bill, which always just throws everything off.
Speaker 4: I need a drink.
Speaker 1: I won't say this though, that's what the detox is for.
Speaker 11: Though.
Speaker 1: The clarity is like I don't have no other vices,
Speaker 1: so where does my mind go all of my stresses?
Speaker 1: And it also like teaches you how to manage those stresses, like, Okay,
Speaker 1: these are the bills that I have to deal with.
Speaker 1: The vice is, fuck the bills. I'm gonna go drink
Speaker 1: this whatever it is. When you're forced to have a
Speaker 1: detox is like I can't let me focus on this.
Speaker 1: And when you realize, like, man, I can handle these tasks,
Speaker 1: you start to realize like I'm more powerful than I
Speaker 1: think that I am.
Speaker 3: That's exactly what happened to me. Baby, Like literally think
Speaker 3: about the things that I've locked in on, the things
Speaker 3: that we've discussed, and I'm just like, I feel like
Speaker 3: a brand new woman in two weeks. To your point, Trible,
Speaker 3: if we're constantly waiting for when's the right time to
Speaker 3: do the detox, it'll never happen. I literally had to
Speaker 3: say to myself June first, there's like no non negotiable
Speaker 3: I'm not traveling for two weeks. We were debating about
Speaker 3: even going away for a weekend, and I was like, Babe,
Speaker 3: I gotta get through two weeks. I said, just give
Speaker 3: me two weeks. I need this for myself. I called
Speaker 3: my friend because we were supposed to go out for
Speaker 3: her birthday on that Monday, and I was like, girl,
Speaker 3: I could have easily been like, you know what, I'll
Speaker 3: start tomorrow. I'll start on Tuesday. Because I promised her
Speaker 3: we go out for her birthday.
Speaker 4: I called.
Speaker 3: I said, says, listen, I gotta postpone this birthday outing
Speaker 3: unless you want to come get some raw fruits and
Speaker 3: veggies with me. We can do a farmer's market run.
Speaker 3: We could do a pilates class, we could do something
Speaker 3: cute like that. I said, but I can't indulge over
Speaker 3: any food right now.
Speaker 1: But this is what's also important about a detox. It
Speaker 1: also points it shows you who your friends, family, and
Speaker 1: who your supporters are. Because when you're trying to do
Speaker 1: a detox or trying to do something that's going to
Speaker 1: make you better, and those people are saying, nah, come
Speaker 1: do this, those aren't the people you want around you anyway.
Speaker 1: So when you keep the people who will be like,
Speaker 1: all right, girl, I'm with you. I'll catch you the
Speaker 1: next time. It's like that's someone that has value. It's
Speaker 1: just someone who sees it. I'm trying to be better
Speaker 1: for myself and realistically, a detox, whether it's a phone,
Speaker 1: whether it's food, whether it's some sort of exercise sauna
Speaker 1: thing you're doing, it's all about the ultimate test of will.
Speaker 1: Do you have the will power to be disciplined when
Speaker 1: no one else around you wants to be disciplined? Because
Speaker 1: that's ultimately what we were talking about this with control, right,
Speaker 1: Control people look like they're controlling when they don't have boundaries, right,
Speaker 1: because that's what discipline is. Discipline is just like I'm
Speaker 1: setting these boundaries. And if you're a type of person
Speaker 1: that always says boundaries and always wants to do things right,
Speaker 1: it can look controlling to someone who lives without boundaries.
Speaker 1: Detoxes pretty much show you who the people are around
Speaker 1: you and who you are when you don't have boundaries.
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying, it's like, oh gosh, and
Speaker 1: then it kind of that's the clarity. So it's like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, when this detox is over, do I
Speaker 1: want to go back to doing those things or do
Speaker 1: I want to stay in this clarity mindset. Now, That's
Speaker 1: why detoxes, to me are like the best thing ever,
Speaker 1: because that's we detoxed from sugar, We detoxed from dairy
Speaker 1: three years ago and never went back right because we
Speaker 1: saw the value.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean the way I feel now, I'm like, shoot,
Speaker 3: there's certain things I'm not I'm just not gonna do anymore,
Speaker 3: you know, aside from the fact that I think that
Speaker 3: I've kind of got to the root of some of
Speaker 3: my issues that were happening internally that you know, different
Speaker 3: foods were feeding these these chronic things that were going on.
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel so good that I'm like, I'm
Speaker 3: considering like, okay, only pescatarian slash plant based, you know,
Speaker 3: doing what works for my body, like going back to
Speaker 3: the list of things that the holistic doctor told me
Speaker 3: that I can't consume or I shouldn't consume because it's
Speaker 3: not good for my body, you know. So it's been great,
Speaker 3: and I've been having a great support system, Like, you know,
Speaker 3: two of my friends in particular always checking on me,
Speaker 3: and now they're currently doing it. So I posted a
Speaker 3: couple you know, highlights on my stories about my journey.
Speaker 3: I lost thirteen pounds in two weeks. Wow, yeah, thirteen
Speaker 3: pounds high frequency.
Speaker 1: Doing a bunch of workout stuff at the time because
Speaker 1: she couldn't work out while detoxing the way she wanted to,
Speaker 1: so we weren't doing a bunch of like long cardio
Speaker 1: sessions for thirty.
Speaker 3: Right, or no heavyweight lifting or hit like I normally would.
Speaker 3: But my body felt so good that I'm like, I
Speaker 3: have the energy, I'm up in the morning, I'm getting
Speaker 3: good sleep. I do want to move my body, Like
Speaker 3: being able to move your body every day is a gift,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, if I am able to do it
Speaker 3: while detoxing, even if it's something as simple as doing
Speaker 3: a track work out with the boys or a light
Speaker 3: walk or something, it just helps to get the lymphatic
Speaker 3: system moving, so that way only speeds up and helps
Speaker 3: to expedite the detox process.
Speaker 1: What are the top five things you think people like
Speaker 1: listening now just start detoxing, just if you could start details.
Speaker 1: What are the top five things.
Speaker 3: I'll get from from people?
Speaker 1: People?
Speaker 10: A good one that was at the top of my list,
Speaker 10: and that was a large part of the reason why
Speaker 10: I even felt like I needed to detox because I
Speaker 10: was being drained by so many sources outside of me
Speaker 10: and my household.
Speaker 3: So detoxing from people, people who no longer serve you,
Speaker 3: no longer provide any assets to your life, people who
Speaker 3: are constant liabilities. That's the one thing. Detoxing from the phone,
Speaker 3: and not just social media, but just the constant need
Speaker 3: to always feel like you have to be applying instantly
Speaker 3: to people. Like I've said it before that I feel
Speaker 3: like we live in a society of instant gratification where
Speaker 3: people always feel the need to have instant access to you,
Speaker 3: and if they don't have that, either something's wrong. Let
Speaker 3: people wait. People can wait, different things that can wait.
Speaker 3: Detoxing from food, so you know things that I know
Speaker 3: not body for sure, Yeah, sugar, dairy, red meats, anything
Speaker 3: that was heavy detoxing.
Speaker 1: Never says and I'm going to say it.
Speaker 8: There's news.
Speaker 1: Well no, I don't even say the news. But it's
Speaker 1: even more simple to me.
Speaker 3: The phone, the news, social media all is in one.
Speaker 1: But the whole team no sleep mentality. We have to
Speaker 1: mentality the team, no sleep mentality. I got to hustle
Speaker 1: and grind twenty five hours a day. We got a
Speaker 1: detox from that, because that is really causing us to
Speaker 1: have mental breakdown. Sleep deprivation is serious. People who don't
Speaker 1: sleep enough. By the time you get to that third day,
Speaker 1: you can't think properly. That's where brainfall comes in and
Speaker 1: everything becomes so loud, right because you haven't slept, So
Speaker 1: every little distraction is like screaming at you.
Speaker 6: Yes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then my last one will probably be detoxing
Speaker 3: from fomo, like the fear of missing out on thinks
Speaker 3: and having to be in places. You know, I always
Speaker 3: felt like, you know, damn, I want to go like
Speaker 3: the oldkidie who wasn't detoxing with about baby. We got
Speaker 3: to catch this flight because I gotta go just be
Speaker 3: in New York, just to be in New York the
Speaker 3: next one. And I'm just like, you know what, No,
Speaker 3: I don't need to I don't have to do that.
Speaker 3: I don't have to be at this event. I don't
Speaker 3: have to be at these things. I know, Josh, you
Speaker 3: don't feel the same, But I was using that as
Speaker 3: an example because it's what's happened recently. But yeah, just
Speaker 3: detoxing from the mindset of having to be everywhere and
Speaker 3: do everything. No, it's okay. I'm fine in my house.
Speaker 1: The fact that you started with people, I think that's
Speaker 1: I think that's smart, y'all.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I left a couple of group chats. You
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying, like, just think that I felt like, yeah,
Speaker 3: just like things that I felt like. You know, I
Speaker 3: just this person. This is like a low vibrational environment
Speaker 3: for me right now, and I just don't feel like
Speaker 3: I want to engage. I don't want to consume it.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be engaging in it by giving
Speaker 3: any energy to it. So this place doesn't serve me
Speaker 3: at the moment. Cool, I'm off that, and.
Speaker 8: YO, protect your piece.
Speaker 7: She's enlightened.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I am. I am. We had a great conversation
Speaker 3: with bla best friend. Yeah, we were just talking about
Speaker 3: a lot of enlightening topics.
Speaker 1: The fourth floor. Once you hit floor, yeah, and you
Speaker 1: start looking around and you realize it's like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: have four decades of life experience now twenty four for
Speaker 1: what I'm there are.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 7: You just prioritize though.
Speaker 1: Oh for watching six years, you watch, but watching six
Speaker 1: years you think you did. Now when you get six
Speaker 1: more years, you're going to be like because I know
Speaker 1: now once I get to the fifth floor, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be like, ain't no shit. In my forties, I did that.
Speaker 8: I mean like detoxing from people. I've been on that
Speaker 8: since twenties, Like because people are draining.
Speaker 1: You've never been intoxicated by people to detox people. That's
Speaker 1: not true how much people used to. Ever since I've
Speaker 1: known you, Matt, I've never seen you with a bunch
Speaker 1: of people. That's just since I known you. So I
Speaker 1: don't like lessons early.
Speaker 4: I only know.
Speaker 1: Matt from being in the gym and working with Josh.
Speaker 1: I don't ever remember Matt with a bunch of that.
Speaker 8: I started pulling myself away from a lot of the
Speaker 8: groups and people early because it's like, what is this for?
Speaker 8: Like we live in a society where we have to
Speaker 8: do stuff to please somebody else. Most of the time,
Speaker 8: it's like this doesn't make sense for me. I'm out.
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny that now that you say that, right,
Speaker 1: you didn't finish. You have one more year left of college.
Speaker 1: You're forced to be in those environments when you play football,
Speaker 1: and then you play football professionally, It's almost like you're
Speaker 1: forced to be in that group setting, and then as
Speaker 1: you retire and stuff, you realize, like I don't hang
Speaker 1: around that group as much as I did when it
Speaker 1: was part of what my lifestyle. Well, yeah, that's you.
Speaker 3: Know what I'm saying, forced you to have to be
Speaker 3: social or you know, be within a group. But it's
Speaker 3: like if you don't want to be in that group anymore,
Speaker 3: then yeah.
Speaker 8: But I even talking talking to my wife about like
Speaker 8: the monotony of how social media is nowadays, Like we
Speaker 8: feel the need we have to post somebody for their birthday,
Speaker 8: We have to do this around these times, like what,
Speaker 8: I don't even speak to you a year and then
Speaker 8: all of a sudden, Hey, happy birthday, bro, what you're doing.
Speaker 8: I'm not doing anything, especially not with you, because I
Speaker 8: don't so I stopped posting people for their birthday. Stop
Speaker 8: doing all these things. If it's your birthday, and I'll
Speaker 8: reach out to you, if I love you, I'm actually
Speaker 8: reach out to.
Speaker 3: You, actually reach out to you, because it's true because
Speaker 3: then if you post one person in the month of
Speaker 3: June and then you didn't post the other person, right,
Speaker 3: I didn't get posted for my birthday, and then it
Speaker 3: becomes this like monotony and rat race of trying to
Speaker 3: keep up with social media as.
Speaker 7: Well as age.
Speaker 1: Bro I met mat at forty fifteen years ago. Matt
Speaker 1: sixty eight right now.
Speaker 3: Sixty eight is crazy. Yeah, So it's been a good time.
Speaker 3: I've felt great. If anybody's considering it needs a reset
Speaker 3: for whatever number of reasons, I think it's a really
Speaker 3: good place to start, you know, really good place to start.
Speaker 3: Are you going to do it?
Speaker 4: Babe?
Speaker 3: Because I have two friends who jumped on so far
Speaker 3: that I know personally, a couple of people who have
Speaker 3: asked about it, so I know that I've been in
Speaker 3: touch with the company. They gave me a code for
Speaker 3: people to use. It's my first name, Kadeen fifteen, just
Speaker 3: so we can track, like how many people have been
Speaker 3: jumping on board. I'm not making any money off of it,
Speaker 3: because I kind of was just like, no, this is
Speaker 3: for like, I don't mind sharing my journey if it
Speaker 3: means that people can get better. So I'm not making
Speaker 3: anything off of it, but I do truly believe in
Speaker 3: their products. I have two friends who are currently doing it.
Speaker 3: One person's on day five, the other one I believe
Speaker 3: started yesterday. And then one of my friend's husbands sees
Speaker 3: her doing it, and he's now inspired to do it,
Speaker 3: so they're going to be doing it together. So would
Speaker 3: you ever think you could do a raw detox before?
Speaker 1: That's not hard? Yeah, that's I mean.
Speaker 3: I feel like anything with your mind's who you're going
Speaker 3: to do.
Speaker 1: Remember, I went on that whole thing where all I
Speaker 1: was doing was juicing for a month. So I think
Speaker 1: a raw detays wouldn't be difficult. It's just choosing to
Speaker 1: to want to do it. I don't think it's something
Speaker 1: that I would I could never live or plant raw bait.
Speaker 1: I could not live like that, but I wouldn't mind
Speaker 1: doing that three months.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was saying, year.
Speaker 8: I can see you being ito by the way eating
Speaker 8: it tel food.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I could provision that scene. I could see that.
Speaker 1: I just I love I love fish and the way
Speaker 1: I lift weights heavyweights, dynamic movements and exercises. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: need creating and I'm gonna need protein.
Speaker 8: That's what I was going to say. I was going
Speaker 8: to say I would do the raw diet, but I've
Speaker 8: lost enough weight and then I start actually looking sick
Speaker 8: if I do that, So I'm not do.
Speaker 3: You have lost a lot of weight though, yeah, and
Speaker 3: then I mean, I guess the results are different, Like
Speaker 3: I don't know if everybody loses, like I lost thirteen
Speaker 3: pounds and not because I was like, oh, let me
Speaker 3: watch this skill and try to lose this weight. It
Speaker 3: kind of was just naturally happening as I I was going.
Speaker 3: But I know, I don't want to maintain from here
Speaker 3: on out.
Speaker 1: I know I made jokes about you talking about poop,
Speaker 1: But this is what was interesting to me. It was
Speaker 1: day seven of the fast and you was only had
Speaker 1: at that point fruits and vegetables, but you still saw
Speaker 1: stuff coming out of your body, which was to me
Speaker 1: was like, yo, it's been a week, which means there's
Speaker 1: stuff that sits and stays coated in your stomach and
Speaker 1: your digestive system even when you not eating that stuff,
Speaker 1: which also makes you realize, like dang, how much of
Speaker 1: that stuff seeps into your blood and your pores and
Speaker 1: decays because it's sitting in your stomach for a week
Speaker 1: at a time. That to me was like eye opening.
Speaker 1: Because I'm the type of person that used I use
Speaker 1: the bathroom three four times a day. I'm just naturally
Speaker 1: I go a lot, so I've never been backed up
Speaker 1: like that, But then it still made me think, like,
Speaker 1: I eat a lot of food, So even though you
Speaker 1: go a lot, that don't mean that all of that
Speaker 1: stuff goes out of your body every single day.
Speaker 7: No, how long was it till you actually felt like
Speaker 7: all that old stuff passed to the.
Speaker 3: Old stuff past to the eye, maybe like seven to
Speaker 3: nine days?
Speaker 11: Wow?
Speaker 3: Yeah, seven to nine days?
Speaker 8: Sorry when you were juicing, did you have the same
Speaker 8: reaction like you still?
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 1: I was surprised that my poop was still talking about poop,
Speaker 1: It's still solid, And I was like two. I was like,
Speaker 1: I remember specifically, it was the second week. I was
Speaker 1: going into the second week, and I was like, how
Speaker 1: is my pool still solid like this? Because all I'm
Speaker 1: doing is juicing. I wasn't eating anything else. And then
Speaker 1: it was just kind of like maybe, And in my mind,
Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe the juice is turning into solid because
Speaker 1: I'm not thinking that there's still pooping there from a
Speaker 1: week before. But now that I think about it, go back.
Speaker 1: I was eating steaks and sandwiches and pub subs for
Speaker 1: months before that, so that stuff was probably sitting in there,
Speaker 1: and we now know that the bread and them pub
Speaker 1: subs ain't really bread, so it doesn't dissolve.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's certain things that just sits there. And I
Speaker 3: learned too. I was reading about my blood type. There's
Speaker 3: a book called Reading Right for your blood type, and
Speaker 3: I had talked about before. So my blood type inherently
Speaker 3: has low stomach acid type eight people. So that's why
Speaker 3: it's harder for me to digest something like lamb or beef.
Speaker 3: It tends to sit there for a minute. So if
Speaker 3: you have low stomach acid and you're having a hard
Speaker 3: time digesting it, then what it does is it puts
Speaker 3: stress on your liver. Then your liver is having to
Speaker 3: compensate by getting all the toxins and stuff out. So
Speaker 3: now you have a sluggish liver. You know, the sluggish
Speaker 3: liver produces excess estrogen. I have FIB heavy bleeding, so
Speaker 3: I was doing the dose fear liver try. I'm still
Speaker 3: doing that now that I'm off of the fast, taking
Speaker 3: my dose form my liver to make sure that my
Speaker 3: liver is in good health so that way I can
Speaker 3: My body's supposed to do what it's supposed to do,
Speaker 3: so if I can get rid of that excess estrogen,
Speaker 3: then hopefully that'll help the fibrose situation. So it's just
Speaker 3: a chain reaction. It's like you realize that one thing
Speaker 3: is off, and then it promotes another thing, and then
Speaker 3: it promotes another thing, and it's like you want to
Speaker 3: try to do what you can to see how you
Speaker 3: can level things out, you know. So I just want
Speaker 3: to feel normal for once. So I feel like I'm
Speaker 3: always combating something coming my way. So these two weeks
Speaker 3: have been great. I don't intend to go back to
Speaker 3: much sugar. I don't have cravings for it, like when
Speaker 3: you mentioned and that ludial phase when you feel like
Speaker 3: you want something sweet or for me, it was the
Speaker 3: craving for something crunchy, like I wanted like a cracker
Speaker 3: or something the whole time that I was detoxing. But yes,
Speaker 3: really watching the intake with that alcohol. Never really was
Speaker 3: a big fan of alcohol before. So I don't really
Speaker 3: plan to go back into that if I don't have to.
Speaker 3: Maybe an occasional one or two here and there. But yeah, y'all,
Speaker 3: I feel great. I encourage you. I feel refreshed.
Speaker 1: Truth babe, I can't wait.
Speaker 3: There, triple Can you do it? Fourteen day row detox?
Speaker 4: You think, I mean? I probably you can't. I want to.
Speaker 5: I've been wanting to detox and just get my gut
Speaker 5: health in order, because I do notice that the way
Speaker 5: that I eat affects how I feel as far as
Speaker 5: adhdgos like me being able to focus and me being
Speaker 5: able to like quiet my mind and slow my thoughts
Speaker 5: down and put one foot in front of the other.
Speaker 5: So I could, I think I could. It would be
Speaker 5: hard because I'd be waning something hot.
Speaker 3: Man, that was the thing. That was the thing. I
Speaker 3: was content, so I wasn't hungry the entire time. Because
Speaker 3: you'll be surprised how I was literally slicing a watermelon
Speaker 3: in half and just took a spoon to it, like
Speaker 3: eating watermelon pie. Oh yeah, all, like just it was
Speaker 3: just easy and doing it in the summertime is great
Speaker 3: because there's so many fruits in seasons, so this was
Speaker 3: like the perfect time to do it. So mangos making
Speaker 3: a kale salad like those were things that were easy
Speaker 3: to do. But but yeah, if you did, what was it?
Speaker 3: What did you just say that I was I lost?
Speaker 4: I'd be on something hot.
Speaker 3: Yes, So that was it. So I felt I felt
Speaker 3: content and I was I was hungry. I mean, I
Speaker 3: wasn't hungry, but I wasn't satisfied. So the satisfaction that
Speaker 3: you get from like a full meal, or from a
Speaker 3: hot meal, or from like something solid, like a piece
Speaker 3: of fish, like that.
Speaker 1: Was you know what that's called. A doctor said, that's
Speaker 1: just that's called addiction. The cravings you get, is it
Speaker 1: because your body is hungry, It's because you're addicted to
Speaker 1: whatever it is you've been eating. And when you learn
Speaker 1: how to ignore of those cravings and you can avoid
Speaker 1: the addiction, that's how your body will get back to.
Speaker 3: Its natural space or food being satisfaction, you know, Like
Speaker 3: that's why I equate satisfaction, you know, And then think
Speaker 3: about how much that we do socially to consume food.
Speaker 3: Like I'm going out for a friend with a friend
Speaker 3: for her birthday. It has to be around food, like, oh,
Speaker 3: let's go for dinner. Like we need to maybe find
Speaker 3: ways to commune with people and celebrate, do something else
Speaker 3: and not be around food and drinks all the time.
Speaker 3: You know. Realized, I realized how limiting that could be.
Speaker 1: To save money, everything don't got to be a brunch.
Speaker 1: We go out to get drinks for a walk around.
Speaker 1: Let's go Yeah, let's go for but me and Kay
Speaker 1: was laughing. Well, Kay pointed it out. Blood came by here,
Speaker 1: he brought his daughter by and we were just chilling, right,
Speaker 1: you know what. We were sipping on watermelon juice. She
Speaker 1: was laughing because I made we get together after not
Speaker 1: seeing each other for months or years. The first we're
Speaker 1: gonna do is get some drinks. Bow bow a drink.
Speaker 1: We get an old fashion or if we think at
Speaker 1: old school, and then we get a vodka. And because
Speaker 1: we don't drink like that no more. But now it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I have a watermelon juice as well.
Speaker 3: We literally sat around the kids at table with no phones,
Speaker 3: no phone.
Speaker 1: We talked for two hours straight.
Speaker 3: More than that, remember I took Jackson to friends watched
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, drinking watermelon juice and eating pineapple.
Speaker 1: That was how we spent the Saturday evening.
Speaker 3: Oh for sure. Yeah. Even on vacation out of and
Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh, let's go at our ginger shots
Speaker 3: as opposed to shot.
Speaker 8: I've been on that. Yeah, anywhere I go, I need
Speaker 8: some ginger shots or something.
Speaker 1: We old y'all here, was we old man?
Speaker 3: Josh, you're going wrong? Is that?
Speaker 1: I don't know, Yeah, how you going to ask, Josh
Speaker 1: if you're going wrong? I'm sitting right my bad.
Speaker 4: What I dealing with?
Speaker 3: My bad brood? A fourteen day raw diet?
Speaker 7: Nah, you couldn't or quiet, Nah, I'm not doing it,
Speaker 7: not doing it?
Speaker 3: Why I like food too much.
Speaker 4: I've done it.
Speaker 7: I'm gone as far as doing like Daniel fast twe
Speaker 7: one days and you've done through those.
Speaker 1: But no, not raw. You can't like your raw diet,
Speaker 1: you could do it. You can't do hot food right,
Speaker 1: like nothing cooked now, So.
Speaker 8: What is it done?
Speaker 7: Because you could do because you can do like peas
Speaker 7: and lentul like you do like hot foods.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't eat meat like China.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you wouldn't eat meat or anything like that.
Speaker 1: Close closer, but that cold stuff.
Speaker 7: I just couldn't do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 7: I did that, and I did lose thirteen pounds as well,
Speaker 7: eighteen maybe eighteen pounds actually I did.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm on the car that they give you with
Speaker 3: the detox that it says that you can consume some
Speaker 3: things cooked like chickpeas on there a couple of different
Speaker 3: like mushrooms and things like that. But I just they
Speaker 3: recommend that you try to do it. One hundred percent wrow,
Speaker 3: so I try.
Speaker 1: I want to point this out too.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 1: Everybody be saying, you know, fat, fat, fat. A lot
Speaker 1: of times people don't be fat, they'd be inflamed. Inflammation
Speaker 1: is different from fat. That's why some people are losing
Speaker 1: thirteen or eighteen pounds in a two week diets. You
Speaker 1: didn't lose fat, you just no longer ain't flamed. Overtaining
Speaker 1: in my back and my knees to cut inflammation, and
Speaker 1: I was able to move better. I'm not I don't
Speaker 1: look like I lost any weight, but the inflammation is going.
Speaker 1: So when you detox and you also get rid of
Speaker 1: a ton of inflammation in your body.
Speaker 3: And I was drinking like a gallon of water a day,
Speaker 3: maybe if not a little bit more with a lot
Speaker 3: of water. So my skin, honey, my skin hopey. No
Speaker 3: breakouts this cycle either. I maybe got like one little blumage.
Speaker 3: But thank you, babe. I feel good. I don't encourage
Speaker 3: anybody if you won't give it a try High Frequency
Speaker 3: Tea if you look them up, I follow them on
Speaker 3: Instagram too, and if you use my code Coadeen fifteen.
Speaker 3: That's also where I get my chigo butter y'all. So
Speaker 3: we don't use sunblock anymore for sunscreen. We use chagow
Speaker 3: butter for the skin when we lay out in the
Speaker 3: sun outside. All really good, all natural stuff. So investigate
Speaker 3: through your research. There's a seven day detox, fourteen day,
Speaker 3: there's a twenty one day. I may try that one
Speaker 3: next time around. You know, we'll see, but I do
Speaker 3: plan to do this, you know, at least once or
Speaker 3: twice a year. Summertime is easy because, like I said,
Speaker 3: there's so many fruits and vegetables readily available that are
Speaker 3: freshen in season.
Speaker 1: Let's take a break, pay some bills.
Speaker 11: When come back, get these listener letters.
Speaker 1: All right, we're back, Hey, Kadeen and Duval, and a
Speaker 1: big up to Triple Matt and Joshua. Well my name
Speaker 1: is Teresa.
Speaker 3: Heteresa.
Speaker 1: I wrote to you guys in the Dead Ass podcast
Speaker 1: and it was about an age gap, just an update,
Speaker 1: no question in mine. I was twenty one and he
Speaker 1: was fifteen years older. Well chor as hell, never doing
Speaker 1: that again. The topic of timing, where we wanted different
Speaker 1: things at certain points in life was an issue for us.
Speaker 1: He wanted to start a family, which is something I
Speaker 1: guess he would once he mentioned his age, so I
Speaker 1: just put that at the back of my mind. But
Speaker 1: there was no way I was doing that, because that
Speaker 1: is a heavy and that is heavy and a life
Speaker 1: changing responsibility, especially when I'm just navigating life in med school.
Speaker 1: In other words, I'm a child in this playground called life.
Speaker 1: I realized mid relationship that he he had dated women
Speaker 1: around my age bracket twenty five and below while in
Speaker 1: his thirties, and that made me uncomfortable because most times
Speaker 1: that is indicative of someone who is aware of their
Speaker 1: actions and chooses people who he knows he can push
Speaker 1: his limits with and it will still be tolerated. But
Speaker 1: when dealing with a woman with a woman his age,
Speaker 1: there are certain things that won't be tolerated. I also
Speaker 1: realized when I started to confront him about certain things
Speaker 1: that I wasn't comfortable with, it would either get thrown
Speaker 1: in my face or I would be gasped or zero
Speaker 1: accountability from his part. Personally, I don't like that. My
Speaker 1: moment of truth is I don't ever. I don't think
Speaker 1: he ever saw me for me, rather as someone he
Speaker 1: can just marry and have kids with, because that was
Speaker 1: the reason he was in the calls became part of me.
Speaker 3: The season he was no the.
Speaker 1: Season he was in, the calls became less since we
Speaker 1: were long distance and it was always I am busy.
Speaker 1: Plus I thought that when people are dating, it's supposed
Speaker 1: to be a man and a woman, not a man
Speaker 1: and a woman. I don't know why she put that
Speaker 1: in multiple a women, oh women. I found out that
Speaker 1: he was still seeing other women while we were dating,
Speaker 1: and I just had the ache and pulled out what
Speaker 1: were they dating or were they?
Speaker 3: Maybe?
Speaker 1: I wish she would say were they dating or were they.
Speaker 3: It seems like they were dating, the two of them,
Speaker 3: but he was also seeing other.
Speaker 1: Women, and that's what I'm saying. I wish she would
Speaker 1: tell us if they agreed to be explicit like open relationship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: considering we had already discussed that. If you feel like
Speaker 1: this isn't working longer, either of us should be honest.
Speaker 1: I have so much more to say, but I will
Speaker 1: just end it here. I did what was right for me,
Speaker 1: which was the advice you both gave me, and I'm
Speaker 1: still applying that to this day. I was the highest
Speaker 1: in my class in the last two some message. I
Speaker 1: remember her. She's a doctor and just trying to try
Speaker 1: my best to thrive every day. Thank you so very
Speaker 1: much for reading this, truly grateful.
Speaker 3: Oh I love this. I love that you guys have
Speaker 3: taken the advice and been like updating us on different
Speaker 3: scenarios and stuff like that. So she listened, and she
Speaker 3: listened to herself.
Speaker 1: Yes, and that's all you could do anything is she's young,
Speaker 1: so she has plenty of time.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, absolutely, you know.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying. She has plenty of time to go.
Speaker 3: To reesa girl. So look at you, highest in the
Speaker 3: class the last two semesters. You're well on your way.
Speaker 3: Whoever's out there for you, You're going to find him, says,
Speaker 3: you are going to find him. That's great.
Speaker 1: I do have a question, though, I'm Matthew in trouble.
Speaker 1: She said that he was twenty five. No, she's twenty five,
Speaker 1: and he dated women around her age, right, Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: in his thirties.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's twenty one and he was fifteen years old,
Speaker 3: as that means he was thirty six.
Speaker 1: Right, So she said that gave him, That gave her
Speaker 1: the ick. The thing I'm a little confused about when
Speaker 1: it comes to women is that women often talk about
Speaker 1: wanting to date men who are more mature, who have
Speaker 1: more life experience, who can show them things in life.
Speaker 3: Right, Well, she said I found her. You're saying gave
Speaker 3: the itch, and she said it was because he was
Speaker 3: dating other women simultaneously, that's why.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But she also said that him dating women in
Speaker 1: their twenties when he was in his thirties gave her
Speaker 1: the ick, right, didn't she say that? Here? You see
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Okay, to me, that's kind of like
Speaker 1: a contradiction.
Speaker 3: Oh, I see he dated women in my age bracket.
Speaker 1: Okay, So if you're your twenty fives, right, and those
Speaker 1: women typically are saying or at least online, which is
Speaker 1: just one demographic a woman, it's not all of them,
Speaker 1: but those women are saying they date more mature men
Speaker 1: because they want to date a man who can teach
Speaker 1: themselves about life and lead them. But then when it
Speaker 1: doesn't work out with that, then it's he was just
Speaker 1: trying to pray on me because he knew I wouldn't
Speaker 1: push back. That to me just doesn't make sense. Oh,
Speaker 1: I see what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I see what she's saying. So she was essentially saying
Speaker 3: that she felt like he was dating younger because he
Speaker 3: kind of controlled the environment with the women versus women
Speaker 3: who are younger looking to date older men, because she
Speaker 3: feels like they feel like they have more establishing take care.
Speaker 1: And I just wanted to ask, y'all, is women your
Speaker 1: take on that, you know, the younger women saying, if
Speaker 1: it's an older man, he's praying on us when it
Speaker 1: don't work out, but when it does work out, it
Speaker 1: was I dated an older man because he had more like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: where do we fall as women.
Speaker 3: On and that's interesting technically, I'm.
Speaker 1: Just asking y'all because this is she said. It gave
Speaker 1: her the ack.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think she just fucked around and found out.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, because it may look enticing
Speaker 3: from the outside looking, and she might think, Oh, I
Speaker 3: have an older guy who kind of has this stuff together.
Speaker 3: He can help me navigate and maneuver life. But when
Speaker 3: it doesn't work out or you realize that that's not
Speaker 3: really what he was trying to do was do life
Speaker 3: with me. He was trying to do life and have
Speaker 3: me tag along within the parameters of what he foresees
Speaker 3: he wants. Then she realized, like this guy probably was
Speaker 3: not it for me, you know what I'm saying. I
Speaker 3: think it's like an individual scenario depending on those.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Do y'all think it's just an
Speaker 1: age thing or it is just individual me personally, I
Speaker 1: think it's individual, Like certain people are just assholes. You
Speaker 1: can be a thirty five year old asshole, you'll be
Speaker 1: a twenty five year asshole. I just think certain people
Speaker 1: are assholes. Her thing about saying that him dating younger
Speaker 1: guys constantly gave her the ick. I'm just saying it
Speaker 1: sounds hypocritical because women often say they they older guys
Speaker 1: for that.
Speaker 3: Right, and she and she was doing the same She
Speaker 3: was doing the same thing, and then she realized that
Speaker 3: this is not working out.
Speaker 1: It's not what I want, right, So I just want
Speaker 1: to know y'all perspective.
Speaker 5: Well, I think it depends on what the reason for
Speaker 5: agents or where age falls into your preference, because if
Speaker 5: you're dating younger in order to have more power or
Speaker 5: in a relationship, that's kind of negative. It's a little
Speaker 5: bit like you don't want to be in a relationship
Speaker 5: where somebody is dating you because of your age, because
Speaker 5: they know that you're naive and they want to pray
Speaker 5: on your naivete Whereas if you date someone that you admire,
Speaker 5: that you look up to, that you want to build with.
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying, that is not praying on
Speaker 5: their naive dae. That's like I don't want to say praying,
Speaker 5: but it's like trying to learn something from somebody who's
Speaker 5: smarter than you, you know what I'm saying. So I
Speaker 5: don't think that it's necessarily the same thing, or I
Speaker 5: don't think she was doing the same thing to him,
Speaker 5: But I feel like some people or some men might
Speaker 5: date younger women for power. You know, that's how some
Speaker 5: people view it. So if you're in a relationship and
Speaker 5: you think, Okay, he likes me for me, age is
Speaker 5: not a factor, But then you realize age is a
Speaker 5: factor because one of how he acts in the relationship,
Speaker 5: and two because his past shows that he's dated all
Speaker 5: these young women, you know what I'm saying. Like, then
Speaker 5: it becomes a problem if it's a pattern. For that reason.
Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I don't think dating young women is
Speaker 1: a problem.
Speaker 4: I don't think it's inherently a problem.
Speaker 1: I think it's a problem if you're doing it too
Speaker 1: manipulate and two ghost people, and I think that's a problem.
Speaker 1: The only reason why I asked it because she said
Speaker 1: that him dating younger women was like a red flag,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, that can't be a red flag. If
Speaker 1: younger women constantly say I'm dating older men because they're
Speaker 1: more mature, It's like you can't say you're dating older
Speaker 1: to learn, but then when it don't work out, you
Speaker 1: say he was praying on you, because in turn, you're
Speaker 1: choosing older men all the time, and every time an
Speaker 1: older man doesn't work out, if you say it gave
Speaker 1: you an ick that you were younger, inherently that's an
Speaker 1: issue with who you're choosing. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You just got to choose better men, not just older men.
Speaker 3: Just choose a better man if it is another older man,
Speaker 3: at least you don't just be aware that there are
Speaker 3: men out there who are looking to essentially be like,
Speaker 3: I can control this scenario because she's younger than me
Speaker 3: and maybe looking for a life that I can provide her.
Speaker 1: What I appreciate about her is she knew exactly what
Speaker 1: she wanted, She knew how she was going to get there,
Speaker 1: and when it wasn't working for her. You know what
Speaker 1: she said, I'm good. That to me is someone who's
Speaker 1: who knows their own value for sure and doesn't find
Speaker 1: their value in somebody else or something else. And I
Speaker 1: think that's the tuggest thing.
Speaker 3: She was like, I can do myself, and I think I.
Speaker 1: Think that's what more people, both men and women, need
Speaker 1: to start doing that. Rather than wrapping your value up
Speaker 1: in the social construct that other people are going to champion,
Speaker 1: find your value in yourself and be like, I feel
Speaker 1: good when I do this summer rock that way. So
Speaker 1: I pulled you on that, Mama, and congrats me.
Speaker 3: Keep going with the girl. I love that for you.
Speaker 3: I love it. And if you want to be featured
Speaker 3: for a future Listener letter, come on, y'all, write in
Speaker 3: to us at the Ellis Advice at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's th H E E L L I S A
Speaker 1: d V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3: All right, time for the moment of truth. We're talking
Speaker 3: detox three sixty y'all, detoxing from everything in life, what
Speaker 3: you got, you had a moment truth.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna say it first because Josh me stealing
Speaker 1: people moment two. My biggest thing is take time to
Speaker 1: listen to your body and learn your body. Right. So
Speaker 1: when you start learning about detox and stuff, you've left
Speaker 1: your parents' house, you're over eighteen. You have eighteen plus
Speaker 1: years of social conditioning and family conditioning and traditions that
Speaker 1: you just follow and do because you were brought up
Speaker 1: that way. All of those things you do may not
Speaker 1: be good for your body. Spend the time learning was
Speaker 1: good for your body it was not good, and start
Speaker 1: to read your body of those things. For example, if
Speaker 1: eating eggnogs every Christmas is part of your family tradition,
Speaker 1: but you're lactose intolerant, I think it's time now to
Speaker 1: start saying, hey, this doesn't work well with my body
Speaker 1: and my makeup, and I'm going to start making changes.
Speaker 1: And the only reason why I'm using egnogg isse it's
Speaker 1: just something simple. It could be the phone, it could
Speaker 1: be steaks, it could be the people. But start learning
Speaker 1: your body and listen when your body says this isn't
Speaker 1: good for me and I'm inflamed, cut.
Speaker 3: It, love it, Matt.
Speaker 8: What you got a classic health as wealth.
Speaker 3: Our original profess What you got, Josh.
Speaker 7: I don't have a moment of truth, but You definitely
Speaker 7: opened my eyes to I see.
Speaker 1: The glow, Bruce Lee your glow all along.
Speaker 7: But yeah, I'm a detaxes from things. Maybe not food specifically,
Speaker 7: but I do see the benefits.
Speaker 3: Dope drips Vegas. You was outside in Vegas, but.
Speaker 5: I got a couple of more outside moments to live through.
Speaker 3: The right Maybe July, so ju ju lit June.
Speaker 4: I'm lit July.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna sit down for a minute out.
Speaker 7: I need to detax from these necks. Man, this is crazy.
Speaker 1: I don't think you ever went to You're still a moment, bro.
Speaker 1: You know what it is.
Speaker 7: I've been I've been obsessed for so long, and now
Speaker 7: we reach the pinnacle. I could actually just like take
Speaker 7: a step back and just like.
Speaker 1: Yo, you sound like Sean. Remember Sean said he retiring.
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't need to be a fan anymore.
Speaker 1: My team won the World championship. We can have actual
Speaker 1: conversations about sports, and I'm not the butt of the joke.
Speaker 1: I'm good. He literally said, He's like I'm good on this.
Speaker 1: It's like we can talk about Brunton and Steph and
Speaker 1: Kyrie and I don't have to feel the way growing
Speaker 1: up in New York. The minute you start talking about basketball,
Speaker 1: people be like you are Knicks fan.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I used to.
Speaker 1: People because they me as a teenager, you will hurt me.
Speaker 1: I used to know one of those people. Bro raised
Speaker 1: your kids to hurt me. I did, I did. I'm
Speaker 1: not even gonna lie, I said. Yo, guys, he a
Speaker 1: Knicks fante. I did, I did. Jackson used to be
Speaker 1: on you too, bru he But you know what he
Speaker 1: said though, he said, Man, I'm happy for Josh. Bro
Speaker 1: I'm happy for Josh, but he don't come to him
Speaker 1: with the knickses better than the Warriors. Bullshit, because you're
Speaker 1: not Jack. But Nah, you can't detox the Nicks. You'll
Speaker 1: shout out the Knicks.
Speaker 3: Baby, let him, let him go. Six My moment of truth.
Speaker 3: The discipline that's required to detox can really make your
Speaker 3: life that much more dynamic. So if you can find
Speaker 3: it in you, if you can find the discipline to
Speaker 3: lock in for seven days, fourteen days, twenty one days,
Speaker 3: or even start with the weekend. You know what I'm saying. Yeah,
Speaker 3: start small things down, Yeah, start small and baby steps.
Speaker 3: I promise you you'll feel so much better. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 3: all right, be sure to find us on Patreon, y'all,
Speaker 3: where you can get exclusive Ellis family content as well
Speaker 3: as the After Show, and you can find us on
Speaker 3: social media at Ellis ever After. I'm Kadine, I Am and.
Speaker 8: I am Daval, I'm Gonna Score Back Ellis, and I'm
Speaker 8: Joshua Underscore Dwayne.
Speaker 5: And I'm at Traps, The Coulty Ribbz, The's Cool on Everything.
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to
Speaker 1: rate reviews, subscribe, and download Baby Good, Baby Dead Ass. Got.
Speaker 5: Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted by
Speaker 5: Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video, production
Speaker 5: by Joshua Duane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by Lashawan Rowe.
Speaker 6: If
Speaker 11: Boker and Fit You