1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:21,195 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. The 2 00:00:21,315 --> 00:00:26,755 Speaker 1: compromised special hunter Biden counsel is so terrified of whatever 3 00:00:26,835 --> 00:00:29,155 Speaker 1: is going to happen next that he had the compromise 4 00:00:29,275 --> 00:00:34,235 Speaker 1: witness Smirnoff, who made it all up re arrested yesterday 5 00:00:34,675 --> 00:00:38,835 Speaker 1: while the man sat in his lawyer's offices in Las Vegas. 6 00:00:39,715 --> 00:00:44,035 Speaker 1: And a retiring Republican congressman is so enraged about whatever 7 00:00:44,115 --> 00:00:46,875 Speaker 1: is going to happen next that he has gone against 8 00:00:46,915 --> 00:00:51,475 Speaker 1: his party and publicly reiterated that James Comer and Jim 9 00:00:51,555 --> 00:00:56,635 Speaker 1: Jordan knew from the start that Smirnoff's Russian intelligence driven 10 00:00:56,755 --> 00:01:01,275 Speaker 1: smears against the Bidens were uncorroborated, and they lied about 11 00:01:01,315 --> 00:01:05,755 Speaker 1: it inside Congress and outside Congress to the public. And 12 00:01:05,955 --> 00:01:11,955 Speaker 1: Merrick Garland is so not terrified and not enraged about 13 00:01:11,995 --> 00:01:15,515 Speaker 1: whatever is going to happen next, that he has done nothing. 14 00:01:16,955 --> 00:01:22,395 Speaker 1: The Comer Jordan Weiss Smirnoff scandal is by itself an 15 00:01:22,435 --> 00:01:29,035 Speaker 1: international plot to once again manipulate the presidential election on 16 00:01:29,195 --> 00:01:35,155 Speaker 1: behalf of Vladimir Putin, and it is also part of 17 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:40,115 Speaker 1: an even larger ongoing international plot to manipulate all of 18 00:01:40,155 --> 00:01:43,515 Speaker 1: American politics and all of American government. And the big 19 00:01:43,515 --> 00:01:47,155 Speaker 1: announcement out of the Department of Justice yesterday was that 20 00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:51,075 Speaker 1: Merrick Garland, Attorney General of the United States, has just 21 00:01:52,515 --> 00:02:02,035 Speaker 1: appointed the Department's first ever Chief a Eye Officer. For 22 00:02:02,115 --> 00:02:08,475 Speaker 1: Christ's sake, the first ever Chief AI officer at the 23 00:02:08,515 --> 00:02:14,395 Speaker 1: Department of Justice. Get somebody goddamned arrested here. If Merrick 24 00:02:14,475 --> 00:02:18,795 Speaker 1: Garland will not appoint a special council to probe and 25 00:02:18,875 --> 00:02:23,635 Speaker 1: subpoena Comer and Jordan and Weiss and a dozen other 26 00:02:23,715 --> 00:02:30,315 Speaker 1: Republican politicians, President Biden must fire Garland today. There are 27 00:02:30,475 --> 00:02:38,435 Speaker 1: Russian agents inside our country again metaphorically, seizing territory as 28 00:02:38,435 --> 00:02:41,595 Speaker 1: certainly as if they had just landed by parachute in 29 00:02:41,715 --> 00:02:45,875 Speaker 1: North Dakota. Merrick Garland is the goddamned Attorney General, and 30 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:50,435 Speaker 1: he has to crush James Comer, and crush Jim Jordan, 31 00:02:50,955 --> 00:02:54,675 Speaker 1: and crush David Weiss and Ted Cruz and all the others. 32 00:02:54,795 --> 00:02:56,435 Speaker 1: And oh, by the way, there is even more of 33 00:02:56,475 --> 00:02:59,675 Speaker 1: an existential reason for Garland to act today, namely that 34 00:02:59,755 --> 00:03:04,635 Speaker 1: ultimately this is all Merrick Garland's fault because, as we now, 35 00:03:04,675 --> 00:03:07,595 Speaker 1: oh no, the Attorney General did such a half asked 36 00:03:07,795 --> 00:03:10,395 Speaker 1: job reviewing whether or not there was a need for 37 00:03:10,475 --> 00:03:14,235 Speaker 1: a hunter Biden's special counsel, that he elevated David Weiss 38 00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:17,235 Speaker 1: to that position without bothering to check if the FBI 39 00:03:17,435 --> 00:03:23,435 Speaker 1: document that supposedly rationalized it not justified it, just rationalized it. 40 00:03:23,675 --> 00:03:25,555 Speaker 1: He didn't even check to see if that was a 41 00:03:25,595 --> 00:03:28,715 Speaker 1: pile of nonsense that now we know is concocted in 42 00:03:28,755 --> 00:03:35,155 Speaker 1: the Kremlin and spread to the lone quote whistleblower or 43 00:03:35,675 --> 00:03:41,755 Speaker 1: informant or Russian plant. The phrase is Russian plant whose 44 00:03:41,835 --> 00:03:45,115 Speaker 1: own personal record was and is so sketchy and had 45 00:03:45,155 --> 00:03:47,915 Speaker 1: more red flags on it than a Russia Day parade, 46 00:03:48,115 --> 00:03:50,275 Speaker 1: that he shouldn't have been let into the FBI on 47 00:03:50,395 --> 00:03:54,755 Speaker 1: a tour let alone as some kind of credible witness. 48 00:03:55,875 --> 00:04:00,355 Speaker 1: And this prosecutor, David Weiss, fell for him, or was 49 00:04:00,475 --> 00:04:07,795 Speaker 1: his client. And Merrick Garland fell for David Weiss, just 50 00:04:07,875 --> 00:04:12,475 Speaker 1: as Merrick Garland fell for Robert Herr. And he still 51 00:04:12,475 --> 00:04:14,875 Speaker 1: hasn't done what he needs to do to kneecap Robert 52 00:04:14,915 --> 00:04:17,995 Speaker 1: Herr before Robert Herr goes into Congress to smear Joe 53 00:04:17,995 --> 00:04:20,475 Speaker 1: Biden again on our dime. By the way, while being 54 00:04:20,515 --> 00:04:23,315 Speaker 1: reimbursed with taxpayer funds in front of a Congressional committee 55 00:04:23,315 --> 00:04:27,075 Speaker 1: as early as two weeks from Monday. Garland, by the way, 56 00:04:27,075 --> 00:04:29,995 Speaker 1: has four options about Robert Hurr. Make her retract his 57 00:04:30,115 --> 00:04:34,475 Speaker 1: own inane medical speculations from his special counsel report, retract 58 00:04:34,515 --> 00:04:38,235 Speaker 1: them for him, prevent her from testifying, or get creative 59 00:04:38,915 --> 00:04:41,035 Speaker 1: find a way for Robert Hr to start next week 60 00:04:41,075 --> 00:04:46,755 Speaker 1: as the district attorney at the US research facility at 61 00:04:46,835 --> 00:04:54,235 Speaker 1: McMurdo Station in Antarctica. And without even detouring back to 62 00:04:54,315 --> 00:04:58,235 Speaker 1: Merrick Garland's original sin, the foot dragging about Trump since 63 00:04:58,315 --> 00:05:02,115 Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, which may yet just cost us our democracy. 64 00:05:02,715 --> 00:05:06,035 Speaker 1: Back to Garland and David Weissen Jordan, because now the 65 00:05:06,035 --> 00:05:10,515 Speaker 1: Republican Congressan ken Buck of Colorado has again hit the 66 00:05:10,635 --> 00:05:15,915 Speaker 1: essence here that the smearnoff FBI document stank from the 67 00:05:15,955 --> 00:05:21,115 Speaker 1: start quote. We were warned at the time that we 68 00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:25,915 Speaker 1: received the document outlining this witness's testimony that the credibility 69 00:05:25,915 --> 00:05:29,435 Speaker 1: of this statement was not known. I certainly didn't have 70 00:05:29,515 --> 00:05:33,555 Speaker 1: any evidence outside the statement itself that it was credible, 71 00:05:35,395 --> 00:05:39,915 Speaker 1: ken Buck says. Jordan and comer knew that ignored the 72 00:05:39,955 --> 00:05:43,035 Speaker 1: caveats ignored the warnings and lied to a Republican and 73 00:05:43,075 --> 00:05:46,075 Speaker 1: Democratic congressman, and of course to the American public, and 74 00:05:46,235 --> 00:05:49,835 Speaker 1: lied and said they had a smoking gun and lied. 75 00:05:51,115 --> 00:05:53,155 Speaker 1: The only smoke Jordan and Comer ever had was the 76 00:05:53,195 --> 00:05:57,715 Speaker 1: smoke they were blowing up every American's ass The document 77 00:05:57,795 --> 00:06:01,995 Speaker 1: wasn't credible, the witness wasn't credible. The idea that any 78 00:06:02,035 --> 00:06:05,315 Speaker 1: of this connected to Joe Biden wasn't credible. The argument 79 00:06:05,315 --> 00:06:08,715 Speaker 1: for a special Council about Hunter Biden wasn't credible. The 80 00:06:08,755 --> 00:06:15,875 Speaker 1: special Council himself wasn't credible. What's more, despite their continuing bluster, 81 00:06:16,355 --> 00:06:22,835 Speaker 1: their continuing participation in this treasonous scheme directed by Russian intel, 82 00:06:23,995 --> 00:06:28,875 Speaker 1: that would be Russian intel coming from Russia, despite their 83 00:06:28,915 --> 00:06:33,035 Speaker 1: continuing bluster about this to try to impeach the sitting 84 00:06:33,155 --> 00:06:37,595 Speaker 1: president of the United States with Russian fabrications and Russian 85 00:06:37,675 --> 00:06:42,275 Speaker 1: lies in an American election year, despite their bluster, oh, 86 00:06:42,315 --> 00:06:44,635 Speaker 1: We're still going ahead with it. The Republicans are actually 87 00:06:44,675 --> 00:06:47,795 Speaker 1: doing more to kill and bury this plot than Merrick 88 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:53,235 Speaker 1: Garland is. Comer and Jordan had a page on the 89 00:06:53,275 --> 00:06:57,955 Speaker 1: House Oversight Committee website devoted to the quote impeachment unquote 90 00:06:59,075 --> 00:07:02,195 Speaker 1: under the heading key evidence. On that page, they listed 91 00:07:02,195 --> 00:07:06,235 Speaker 1: a timeline, They listed dealings with foreign countries, They listed 92 00:07:06,275 --> 00:07:10,035 Speaker 1: bank records, irs, whistleblowers, transcripts, follow up letters, and then 93 00:07:10,075 --> 00:07:14,075 Speaker 1: item seven on this list quote FBI form one zero 94 00:07:14,195 --> 00:07:17,075 Speaker 1: two to three alleging then Vice President Biden engaged in 95 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,555 Speaker 1: bribery and extortion ultimately received five million dollars from a 96 00:07:20,595 --> 00:07:25,235 Speaker 1: Barisma executive unquote. Guess what disappeared off that web page 97 00:07:25,315 --> 00:07:31,635 Speaker 1: yesterday or maybe even late Wednesday. Item seven no more 98 00:07:31,715 --> 00:07:35,435 Speaker 1: reference on the phony impeachment page to the phony FBI 99 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:39,435 Speaker 1: Form one zero two to three from the phony informant Smyrnoff. 100 00:07:39,515 --> 00:07:44,995 Speaker 1: It's gone. The Comber Jordan list jumps now from follow 101 00:07:45,035 --> 00:07:49,235 Speaker 1: up letters to some bank memo. They've scrubbed it, they've 102 00:07:49,395 --> 00:07:53,515 Speaker 1: washed it, they've deleted it to use Trump brain damage speak. 103 00:07:53,875 --> 00:07:59,115 Speaker 1: They poured bleach on the website. But Jamie Comer's eat traffic. 104 00:08:02,795 --> 00:08:06,635 Speaker 1: The Republicans are trying to memory hold the evidence of 105 00:08:06,715 --> 00:08:11,595 Speaker 1: their own complicity in this treason, and as typically immoral 106 00:08:12,195 --> 00:08:16,955 Speaker 1: and disloyal as that is, because of course they're doing that, 107 00:08:17,395 --> 00:08:23,355 Speaker 1: they are Republicans, they are scum. At least it shows 108 00:08:23,395 --> 00:08:27,315 Speaker 1: evidence that the Republicans are aware in a way that 109 00:08:27,475 --> 00:08:33,395 Speaker 1: Merrick Garland is not, that they have been caught. Comer 110 00:08:33,475 --> 00:08:37,755 Speaker 1: and Jordan are conspirators running this end of yet another 111 00:08:37,915 --> 00:08:42,515 Speaker 1: Russian driven coup attempt, and that Special Counsel David Weiss 112 00:08:42,595 --> 00:08:47,235 Speaker 1: is either a spectacular fool or a Comber Jordan accomplice. 113 00:08:47,755 --> 00:08:49,875 Speaker 1: But at least all of them appear to be moving 114 00:08:49,955 --> 00:08:54,715 Speaker 1: on from the Biden impeachment plot to the Biden age plot. 115 00:08:56,155 --> 00:08:59,075 Speaker 1: While Merit goddamned Garland is sitting in his office trying 116 00:08:59,115 --> 00:09:04,915 Speaker 1: to clean his spectacles, we are where we were in 117 00:09:04,915 --> 00:09:09,955 Speaker 1: twenty sixteen, a plot one. They are not even devoting 118 00:09:09,995 --> 00:09:12,315 Speaker 1: a lot of time reffort trying to disguise, let alone 119 00:09:12,315 --> 00:09:16,435 Speaker 1: actually hide a plot originating somewhere in the Kremlin, or, 120 00:09:16,475 --> 00:09:21,155 Speaker 1: in the kindest interpretation, merely utilizing ideas and operatives working 121 00:09:21,475 --> 00:09:25,075 Speaker 1: for somebody who is somewhere in the Kremlin reaching into 122 00:09:25,115 --> 00:09:32,475 Speaker 1: an utterly overtaken Republican party to influence alter fix the 123 00:09:32,515 --> 00:09:38,315 Speaker 1: presidential election. And the Department of Justice under an Attorney 124 00:09:38,315 --> 00:09:42,395 Speaker 1: General appointed by a Democratic president is again sitting there 125 00:09:42,435 --> 00:09:47,955 Speaker 1: with this attitude of well, we'll get cracking on this 126 00:09:48,235 --> 00:09:51,635 Speaker 1: in two hundred years a show. We wouldn't want to 127 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:58,395 Speaker 1: look politically subjective here. He's stalling. He's stalling until he 128 00:09:58,435 --> 00:10:01,315 Speaker 1: can trot out the great Book of Unwritten Department of 129 00:10:01,515 --> 00:10:04,395 Speaker 1: Justice rules so he can open it up to page 130 00:10:04,435 --> 00:10:07,475 Speaker 1: one million and two hundred and thirty two, one hundred 131 00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:10,235 Speaker 1: and forty three, where it says you can't do anything 132 00:10:10,595 --> 00:10:15,635 Speaker 1: that might impact an election after sixty days before the election, 133 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:20,955 Speaker 1: or is it ninety days or is it four goddamn years? 134 00:10:23,675 --> 00:10:27,955 Speaker 1: And at heart this is because Democrats are still in 135 00:10:28,075 --> 00:10:31,275 Speaker 1: key positions at the Department of Justice, laboring under the 136 00:10:31,315 --> 00:10:35,595 Speaker 1: delusion that the Department of Justice could never be corrupted 137 00:10:35,675 --> 00:10:40,635 Speaker 1: by Republicans, and under the other delusion that the other 138 00:10:40,715 --> 00:10:46,715 Speaker 1: political party is American. I'm sorry, I know the Republican 139 00:10:46,755 --> 00:10:50,915 Speaker 1: candidate just tried to metaphorically assassinate the Democratic candidate. But 140 00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:55,235 Speaker 1: because it's only ninety days until it's only ninety days, 141 00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:57,715 Speaker 1: until it's only ninety days until the election, we can't 142 00:10:57,715 --> 00:11:02,515 Speaker 1: do anything about it now. Sorry, how many times do 143 00:11:02,555 --> 00:11:07,075 Speaker 1: we have to walk through these steps? The guy Smirnoff, 144 00:11:08,355 --> 00:11:12,115 Speaker 1: I think that's a Russian name, who two weeks ago 145 00:11:13,035 --> 00:11:17,195 Speaker 1: was still the centerpiece of a politically corrupted special Council 146 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:23,795 Speaker 1: investigating Hunter Biden for having done nothing. This guy has 147 00:11:23,835 --> 00:11:27,595 Speaker 1: now been arrested by the same politically corrupted special Council 148 00:11:27,675 --> 00:11:30,475 Speaker 1: investigating Hunter Biden, and this special council is now so 149 00:11:30,595 --> 00:11:32,515 Speaker 1: terrified of how this could all turn out that when 150 00:11:32,515 --> 00:11:34,955 Speaker 1: he could not get the court in Nevada to have 151 00:11:35,035 --> 00:11:37,755 Speaker 1: the guy's bail revoked so the guy would not flee 152 00:11:37,835 --> 00:11:41,755 Speaker 1: the country or get thrown out of a window or both. 153 00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,675 Speaker 1: When he couldn't get the Nevada judge to do that, 154 00:11:45,195 --> 00:11:49,755 Speaker 1: the Special Council went to a different judge in California 155 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:52,075 Speaker 1: and he got a new version of the same arrest warrant, 156 00:11:52,595 --> 00:11:56,515 Speaker 1: and he had Smirnoff rearrested yesterday, So maybe they can 157 00:11:56,595 --> 00:11:58,835 Speaker 1: keep him in a jail in California for a while 158 00:11:59,275 --> 00:12:07,995 Speaker 1: on the goddamned first floor. Please, and the guy himself 159 00:12:08,355 --> 00:12:15,795 Speaker 1: this putts Smyrnoff is now so terrified how this could 160 00:12:15,795 --> 00:12:19,355 Speaker 1: all turn out that he has not only confessed to 161 00:12:19,395 --> 00:12:23,875 Speaker 1: telling a completely fictitious story about Hunter Biden and Joe Biden, 162 00:12:24,915 --> 00:12:27,435 Speaker 1: he has also thrown in this detail that the story 163 00:12:27,635 --> 00:12:36,395 Speaker 1: was being distributed by people connected to Ration Intelligence and 164 00:12:36,475 --> 00:12:44,635 Speaker 1: the attorney general is doing nothing. I want baseball bats. 165 00:12:45,755 --> 00:12:52,035 Speaker 1: I want Department of Justice agents with baseball bats dragging 166 00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:56,275 Speaker 1: off Jamie Comer and Jim Jordan and Grassley and Cruz 167 00:12:56,635 --> 00:12:59,475 Speaker 1: and David Weiss and the rest of these guys who 168 00:12:59,515 --> 00:13:02,835 Speaker 1: have had their honesty and their loyalty to this country 169 00:13:02,995 --> 00:13:08,595 Speaker 1: removed somehow. And at minimum, I want people to have 170 00:13:08,715 --> 00:13:11,675 Speaker 1: to spend twenty four thirty six forty eight hours wondering 171 00:13:11,795 --> 00:13:17,595 Speaker 1: where they are, the disappearance of James Tomer today, Where's 172 00:13:17,715 --> 00:13:25,035 Speaker 1: Chuck Grassley, Where's Ted Cruz? Did we check the podcast studio? 173 00:13:25,275 --> 00:13:28,115 Speaker 1: And at minimum, if and when they are released, I 174 00:13:28,195 --> 00:13:31,115 Speaker 1: want Jordan to be forced to keep his goddamn sport 175 00:13:31,195 --> 00:13:38,675 Speaker 1: coat on forever. From the latest CNN report on this quote, 176 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:43,115 Speaker 1: FBI officials continue to believe that Smirnoff lied about the 177 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:47,555 Speaker 1: Barisma bribes in part because of his antipathy against the Bidens. 178 00:13:49,475 --> 00:13:52,155 Speaker 1: Just figured that one out over at the FBI, did they. 179 00:13:53,155 --> 00:13:56,115 Speaker 1: From the same CNN report on this quote, the FBI 180 00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:59,755 Speaker 1: and at least two Trump appointed US attorneys Scott Brady 181 00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:03,755 Speaker 1: and Pittsburgh and David Weiss in Delaware, knew of the 182 00:14:03,835 --> 00:14:09,275 Speaker 1: FBI's in a bil To corroborate Smirnoff's claims unquote, after 183 00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:12,435 Speaker 1: which Weiss got himself promoted the Special Hunter Biden Counsel 184 00:14:12,475 --> 00:14:14,595 Speaker 1: and began to try to put Hunter Biden behind bars 185 00:14:14,675 --> 00:14:17,435 Speaker 1: and his father in a witness chair at an impeachment. 186 00:14:18,755 --> 00:14:21,635 Speaker 1: From the latest New York Times report on this, Smirnoff 187 00:14:21,715 --> 00:14:24,875 Speaker 1: told his FBI handler what prosecutors say was a brazen 188 00:14:25,035 --> 00:14:29,595 Speaker 1: lie unquote about the Biden's quote, the explosive claim was 189 00:14:29,755 --> 00:14:43,275 Speaker 1: leaked to Republicans unquote. Where are the perp walks who 190 00:14:43,755 --> 00:14:49,715 Speaker 1: leaked it to which Republican? Why aren't they being questioned 191 00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:53,915 Speaker 1: in an interrogation room today and in front of a 192 00:14:53,955 --> 00:14:56,595 Speaker 1: grand jury on Monday. Why hasn't the head of the 193 00:14:56,635 --> 00:15:00,435 Speaker 1: FBI been fired? Why hasn't whoever runs internal security at 194 00:15:00,435 --> 00:15:04,355 Speaker 1: the FBI been fired? Why hasn't whoever runs liaisons between 195 00:15:04,355 --> 00:15:06,755 Speaker 1: the Reportublicans in the House and the FBI have been fired? 196 00:15:06,955 --> 00:15:10,995 Speaker 1: Why hasn't just the step been taken to suspend the 197 00:15:11,075 --> 00:15:15,395 Speaker 1: Hunter Biden's Special Council investigation and to suspend the Special 198 00:15:15,435 --> 00:15:18,875 Speaker 1: Council who is either a part of this plot or 199 00:15:19,035 --> 00:15:25,155 Speaker 1: at best has been completely fooled by it. And again 200 00:15:25,275 --> 00:15:30,555 Speaker 1: zoom out there's been an active, robust Russian intelligence operation 201 00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:37,275 Speaker 1: with at least tendrils reaching into this country at this hour, 202 00:15:38,715 --> 00:15:42,555 Speaker 1: with enough juice and enough collaborators inside the law enforcement community, 203 00:15:42,555 --> 00:15:45,995 Speaker 1: and enough collaborators inside the Republican Party to say nothing 204 00:15:46,035 --> 00:15:49,355 Speaker 1: of all the morons to blow up a plea deal 205 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:51,955 Speaker 1: to get about halfway to putting the president's son in 206 00:15:52,115 --> 00:15:54,755 Speaker 1: jail for crimes he did not commit, and to impeaching 207 00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:57,315 Speaker 1: the current president of the United States eight months and 208 00:15:57,435 --> 00:16:01,675 Speaker 1: change before the election. There is a Russian ring operating 209 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:05,035 Speaker 1: inside this country now strong and I have to have 210 00:16:05,115 --> 00:16:09,515 Speaker 1: started the impeachment process. And where are the arrests? Where 211 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,435 Speaker 1: is the press conference? Where is Merrick Garland at the 212 00:16:12,435 --> 00:16:15,315 Speaker 1: bare minimum saying we have turned in this case over 213 00:16:15,355 --> 00:16:19,915 Speaker 1: in a spational counsel Smith because mister Smirnoff has acknowledged 214 00:16:19,955 --> 00:16:23,315 Speaker 1: and what he was doing was part of Russia's support 215 00:16:23,395 --> 00:16:28,075 Speaker 1: for Trump. God, I hope Merrick Garland has a good 216 00:16:28,115 --> 00:16:32,195 Speaker 1: excuse like he's in a coma, because you might as 217 00:16:32,195 --> 00:16:38,755 Speaker 1: well be. Now. I got to rewatch the Alec Guinnis 218 00:16:38,835 --> 00:16:42,115 Speaker 1: version of the John Lecary novel Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy 219 00:16:42,275 --> 00:16:45,475 Speaker 1: again this weekend because I am confident I will learn 220 00:16:45,515 --> 00:16:50,275 Speaker 1: more about the Comer Smirnoff scandal watching it than I 221 00:16:50,355 --> 00:16:54,555 Speaker 1: will watching American TV news or reading American news, because 222 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:57,275 Speaker 1: as one of the British researchers in that story, who 223 00:16:57,355 --> 00:17:00,235 Speaker 1: knew that her English spy chase were getting played by 224 00:17:00,235 --> 00:17:03,515 Speaker 1: the Russians that they thought they owned. As she put 225 00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:06,715 Speaker 1: it in the script, Igor has gotten the better of 226 00:17:06,915 --> 00:17:12,755 Speaker 1: cover again. And that's nothing new because right now the 227 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:17,635 Speaker 1: question in American political discourse, the only question should be 228 00:17:17,675 --> 00:17:22,075 Speaker 1: about the Comer Smirnoff scandal, and it should be phrased 229 00:17:22,315 --> 00:17:26,715 Speaker 1: as Brian Bouler of Off Messaged phrased it perfectly. What 230 00:17:27,395 --> 00:17:34,475 Speaker 1: did the Republicans know and when did they know it? 231 00:17:39,155 --> 00:17:45,995 Speaker 1: Also of interest here reminder Thursday, December seventh, the Countdown 232 00:17:46,035 --> 00:17:50,275 Speaker 1: with Keith Olrimans State of the Union postgame show live 233 00:17:50,355 --> 00:17:55,075 Speaker 1: on YouTube right after the State of the Union from 234 00:17:55,235 --> 00:18:02,075 Speaker 1: Iheartworld Headquarters in New York. Meanwhile, also also of interest 235 00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:04,955 Speaker 1: here cea pack has started and you know, but that 236 00:18:05,115 --> 00:18:10,035 Speaker 1: means the loonies take all of their shrooms and get 237 00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:13,955 Speaker 1: really loony. And so a quick mix and match quiz 238 00:18:13,955 --> 00:18:16,995 Speaker 1: for you to think about who said it and what 239 00:18:17,115 --> 00:18:20,355 Speaker 1: did they say who said it? Matt Slap, Charlie Kirk, 240 00:18:20,515 --> 00:18:24,435 Speaker 1: Jack Pisobik are your choices? The statements are A we 241 00:18:24,515 --> 00:18:28,395 Speaker 1: are going to end democracy. B I want Coca Cola 242 00:18:28,435 --> 00:18:32,315 Speaker 1: to sponsor live telecasts of the executions of Trump's enemies. 243 00:18:32,795 --> 00:18:36,035 Speaker 1: And c say, Fela, can you give me a lift 244 00:18:36,075 --> 00:18:39,835 Speaker 1: back to the hotel? That's next. This is an all 245 00:18:39,875 --> 00:18:46,235 Speaker 1: new edition of Countdown. This is Countdown with Keith Oberman, 246 00:18:46,675 --> 00:18:51,555 Speaker 1: my crazy friend. 247 00:18:59,315 --> 00:19:05,715 Speaker 2: This is Sports Senate. Wait check that not anymore. This 248 00:19:06,595 --> 00:19:10,795 Speaker 2: is Countdown with Keith Alberman. 249 00:19:10,715 --> 00:19:20,995 Speaker 1: In Sports Dateline tenpe Arizona belated congratulations to Austin Matthews 250 00:19:20,995 --> 00:19:23,595 Speaker 1: of the Toronto Maple Leafs for having scored his fiftieth 251 00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:26,475 Speaker 1: and fifty first goals of the season in just his 252 00:19:26,475 --> 00:19:29,755 Speaker 1: fifty fourth game of the season against the Arizona Coyotes. 253 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:33,475 Speaker 1: Especially fitting because Matthews grew up watching the Coyotes and 254 00:19:33,555 --> 00:19:37,195 Speaker 1: the goals came in mullet Arena. And this next great 255 00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:39,675 Speaker 1: young hockey star has been rotting so long with the 256 00:19:39,755 --> 00:19:44,195 Speaker 1: underachieving Maple Leafs franchise that male pattern baldness has begun 257 00:19:44,595 --> 00:19:48,795 Speaker 1: and he is literally styling kind of a mullet. This 258 00:19:48,995 --> 00:19:51,635 Speaker 1: is said in sympathy and not in criticism. But Austin 259 00:19:51,675 --> 00:19:55,315 Speaker 1: Matthews is the Mike Trout of hockey. If you have 260 00:19:55,435 --> 00:19:57,755 Speaker 1: never heard of Mike Trout, he is the baseball player, 261 00:19:57,795 --> 00:20:01,435 Speaker 1: maybe the overall best baseball player of the last fifty years, 262 00:20:01,755 --> 00:20:04,595 Speaker 1: who is not a known figure outside his own game 263 00:20:04,795 --> 00:20:09,275 Speaker 1: because he has gotten into exactly three postseason playoff games, 264 00:20:09,635 --> 00:20:17,835 Speaker 1: Because like Matthews, his franchise is institutionalized suck. Austin Matthews 265 00:20:18,075 --> 00:20:21,195 Speaker 1: is going to win his third goal scoring title in 266 00:20:21,355 --> 00:20:24,835 Speaker 1: just eight years as a professional, maybe his second MVP. 267 00:20:25,035 --> 00:20:29,195 Speaker 1: And so far he has played in fifty National Hockey 268 00:20:29,275 --> 00:20:33,075 Speaker 1: League playoff games. That's eight playoff rounds, of which his 269 00:20:33,115 --> 00:20:37,755 Speaker 1: team has lost seven. They have lost nearly three out 270 00:20:37,795 --> 00:20:41,275 Speaker 1: of every five playoff games Austin Matthews has played in. 271 00:20:41,595 --> 00:20:45,035 Speaker 1: And I am thinking it ain't his fault. Part of 272 00:20:45,075 --> 00:20:48,075 Speaker 1: the problem is I think that within the hockey bubble, 273 00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:52,235 Speaker 1: Matthews hitting the fifty goal mark was treated as if 274 00:20:52,235 --> 00:20:55,155 Speaker 1: it were a kin to winning in the playoffs, and 275 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:59,155 Speaker 1: it ain't or winning the Stanley Cup. And it also ain't. 276 00:21:00,075 --> 00:21:04,635 Speaker 1: I actually wrote a story in real time about the 277 00:21:04,835 --> 00:21:07,715 Speaker 1: last year the Toronto Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup. 278 00:21:08,235 --> 00:21:10,955 Speaker 1: This took place in May nineteen sixty seven. When I 279 00:21:10,995 --> 00:21:14,715 Speaker 1: say I wrote it, I mean I wrote it. I 280 00:21:14,755 --> 00:21:19,115 Speaker 1: mean I wrote it by hand in the mimiographed pages 281 00:21:19,555 --> 00:21:24,715 Speaker 1: of the Wolf Times, which was the homemade newspaper of 282 00:21:25,875 --> 00:21:33,075 Speaker 1: my fourth grade homeroom class. Dateline like Placid, New York. 283 00:21:33,195 --> 00:21:35,755 Speaker 1: You know what forty four years ago tomorrow is? You 284 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,155 Speaker 1: know what forty four years ago yesterday was? 285 00:21:45,635 --> 00:21:48,315 Speaker 3: With that year, the biggest upset in Olympic hockey history 286 00:21:48,395 --> 00:21:51,195 Speaker 3: was complete. The United States for the Soviet Union free, 287 00:21:51,355 --> 00:21:53,435 Speaker 3: and the fans who packed the Olympics Center felt as 288 00:21:53,475 --> 00:21:55,195 Speaker 3: much a part of the win as the players did. 289 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:56,955 Speaker 1: I really thought you Russia would win. 290 00:21:57,195 --> 00:21:59,795 Speaker 3: I really didn't think the United States could pull it off. 291 00:22:00,075 --> 00:22:01,195 Speaker 2: But I'm so proud of him. 292 00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:04,595 Speaker 1: Oh so tremendous, unbelievable trend. 293 00:22:04,675 --> 00:22:05,475 Speaker 3: And I. 294 00:22:07,315 --> 00:22:09,115 Speaker 1: Don't know what else to say. I'm so psyched. 295 00:22:09,155 --> 00:22:11,395 Speaker 2: It's just just an uplift for to see them winning, 296 00:22:11,395 --> 00:22:12,355 Speaker 2: to see them could do so. 297 00:22:12,355 --> 00:22:13,395 Speaker 1: Well against the Russian. 298 00:22:13,475 --> 00:22:15,915 Speaker 3: After the game, thousands spilled onto the streets. There were 299 00:22:15,955 --> 00:22:19,675 Speaker 3: tremendous firecracker displays and chants of Weird number one Keith 300 00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:25,515 Speaker 3: Oberman Lake placidantastic. 301 00:22:23,315 --> 00:22:30,115 Speaker 1: Thanks Keith, great report and dateline Boston. While we are 302 00:22:30,195 --> 00:22:33,075 Speaker 1: talking hockey, a shout out to one of my oldest 303 00:22:33,075 --> 00:22:36,715 Speaker 1: friends in broadcasting, Jack Edwards since two thousand and five, 304 00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:39,195 Speaker 1: the voice of the Boston Bruins, or as we like 305 00:22:39,235 --> 00:22:41,875 Speaker 1: to put it, Jack's new job. He and I go 306 00:22:41,955 --> 00:22:45,155 Speaker 1: back to nineteen eighty four when Jack was working in 307 00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:47,955 Speaker 1: Providence and I was the sportscaster at Channel five in Boston, 308 00:22:47,995 --> 00:22:50,635 Speaker 1: and I quit that job and he succeeded me there. 309 00:22:51,155 --> 00:22:53,115 Speaker 1: I tried to hire Jack to join me in local 310 00:22:53,155 --> 00:22:55,835 Speaker 1: news in LA a few years later, and then finally 311 00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:58,475 Speaker 1: we were reunited when I got to ESPN in nineteen 312 00:22:58,515 --> 00:23:03,835 Speaker 1: ninety two. Nobody in sports has ever enjoyed himself more 313 00:23:04,275 --> 00:23:09,355 Speaker 1: on the than Jack. Nobody. But two years ago, as 314 00:23:09,435 --> 00:23:11,675 Speaker 1: Jack has now gone public to the Boston Globe, he 315 00:23:11,715 --> 00:23:15,195 Speaker 1: began to notice a change. As the writer Chad Finn, 316 00:23:15,195 --> 00:23:17,835 Speaker 1: who did the story puts it, he has sounded different 317 00:23:17,915 --> 00:23:22,675 Speaker 1: in recent seasons, slower, His speech is sometimes slurred, Certain 318 00:23:22,675 --> 00:23:28,195 Speaker 1: words unpredictably require elongated enunciation. Jack, who I am honored 319 00:23:28,195 --> 00:23:30,835 Speaker 1: to say, listens to this podcast and is as supportive 320 00:23:30,835 --> 00:23:33,555 Speaker 1: of a friend personally and professionally as you could have, 321 00:23:34,195 --> 00:23:38,035 Speaker 1: says he has undergone seemingly every diagnostic test imaginable, and 322 00:23:38,195 --> 00:23:40,875 Speaker 1: quoting him, I did not have some kind of accident. 323 00:23:41,195 --> 00:23:43,915 Speaker 1: I do not have cancer. I don't have dementia. I 324 00:23:43,915 --> 00:23:46,515 Speaker 1: haven't had a stroke. All of that has been confirmed 325 00:23:46,555 --> 00:23:50,275 Speaker 1: by mass general neurology. It doesn't fit in any slot. 326 00:23:50,715 --> 00:23:53,035 Speaker 1: There have been a couple of guesses, but they haven't 327 00:23:53,035 --> 00:23:55,835 Speaker 1: made a definitive diagnosis. And they're been working on me 328 00:23:55,955 --> 00:23:59,035 Speaker 1: for a year and a half. It's very frustrating, as 329 00:23:59,075 --> 00:24:01,155 Speaker 1: you can imagine, for me to have this slow down 330 00:24:01,155 --> 00:24:04,075 Speaker 1: in my speech. They've done tests that seem like I'm 331 00:24:04,115 --> 00:24:07,435 Speaker 1: going through some of science fiction scene, but it's really true. 332 00:24:07,595 --> 00:24:12,195 Speaker 1: The images of my brain literally reveal nothing. That's my 333 00:24:12,315 --> 00:24:14,955 Speaker 1: joke with them. Jack says, I'm treating it like an 334 00:24:14,995 --> 00:24:17,595 Speaker 1: in season injury, something that's going to get better. If 335 00:24:17,635 --> 00:24:20,595 Speaker 1: I or Nessen his network decide that I'm hurting the 336 00:24:20,635 --> 00:24:23,875 Speaker 1: product or costing the fans an enjoyable experience, I will 337 00:24:23,915 --> 00:24:26,875 Speaker 1: say goodbye. But we haven't had any discussions like that. 338 00:24:28,275 --> 00:24:30,075 Speaker 1: I told Jack this, and I meant it, and I 339 00:24:30,115 --> 00:24:33,955 Speaker 1: mean it still. I've heard touches of what he's talking about. Honestly, 340 00:24:34,555 --> 00:24:37,715 Speaker 1: I thought he was doing a thing playing with tempo. 341 00:24:38,675 --> 00:24:42,035 Speaker 1: I do it here, I do it, and at the 342 00:24:42,075 --> 00:24:44,515 Speaker 1: age of sixty five, I'm in the same boat Jack is. 343 00:24:44,915 --> 00:24:47,475 Speaker 1: Time wise, I do it in ways I have never 344 00:24:47,515 --> 00:24:50,915 Speaker 1: done it before, and largely because these are the first 345 00:24:50,915 --> 00:24:55,315 Speaker 1: broadcasts or stream casts or whatever casts or door to 346 00:24:55,395 --> 00:24:58,275 Speaker 1: door casts that I've ever done that didn't have a 347 00:24:58,315 --> 00:25:01,035 Speaker 1: deadline built into them, a hard out. As we say, 348 00:25:01,435 --> 00:25:07,475 Speaker 1: I could talk forever, so I I can slow down. 349 00:25:09,035 --> 00:25:12,875 Speaker 1: But that's not what Jack is going through. So obviously 350 00:25:13,155 --> 00:25:16,795 Speaker 1: I wish him well, I wish him the best, And 351 00:25:16,835 --> 00:25:19,555 Speaker 1: as I told him, I really think someday we are 352 00:25:19,555 --> 00:25:23,235 Speaker 1: going to realize that the brain is not one organ, 353 00:25:23,755 --> 00:25:28,835 Speaker 1: but it's kind of cooperative, consisting of one thousand mini 354 00:25:28,915 --> 00:25:31,795 Speaker 1: brains for want of a better term, specific, precise, and 355 00:25:31,915 --> 00:25:35,875 Speaker 1: each very vulnerable but to very different things. And I'll 356 00:25:35,915 --> 00:25:38,435 Speaker 1: give you this example. When I was twenty one years 357 00:25:38,475 --> 00:25:41,955 Speaker 1: old and I ran cleverly headfirst into the subway train 358 00:25:42,035 --> 00:25:44,515 Speaker 1: at the stop at Chase Stadium in New York, I 359 00:25:44,635 --> 00:25:47,755 Speaker 1: was still hearing a loud buzzing sound in my ear 360 00:25:48,235 --> 00:25:50,675 Speaker 1: when I finally got to see the admissions nurse in 361 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:53,755 Speaker 1: the er in the nearest hospital. She asked me my 362 00:25:53,875 --> 00:25:56,715 Speaker 1: family contact, and I gave her my father's phone number 363 00:25:56,715 --> 00:26:00,555 Speaker 1: and name, Theodore. Then she asked me my middle name. 364 00:26:01,995 --> 00:26:10,235 Speaker 1: I couldn't remember it. Little name is also Theodore, his Theodore. 365 00:26:10,395 --> 00:26:18,715 Speaker 1: I could remember my Theodore, I could not remember. Good luck, Jack, 366 00:26:19,475 --> 00:26:21,875 Speaker 1: At least you have now gotten to do the famous 367 00:26:22,115 --> 00:26:25,715 Speaker 1: X rays of my brain shown nothing. Quote all the best, 368 00:26:25,715 --> 00:26:49,875 Speaker 1: my friend, stell ahead of us on this all new 369 00:26:49,995 --> 00:26:54,035 Speaker 1: edition of Countdown. James Thurber was a brilliant humorist and 370 00:26:54,075 --> 00:26:59,595 Speaker 1: a brilliantly fine damn strategist. He wrote a lot of politics, 371 00:26:59,955 --> 00:27:03,355 Speaker 1: searing no prisoner's politics, but you will never find any 372 00:27:03,395 --> 00:27:07,795 Speaker 1: of it because, like the great smart writers, he disguised it. 373 00:27:08,195 --> 00:27:12,395 Speaker 1: In his case, he disguised it as fables. The very 374 00:27:12,435 --> 00:27:15,915 Speaker 1: proper Gander and the peace like Mongoose, and a bunch 375 00:27:15,955 --> 00:27:19,275 Speaker 1: of Thurber fables you have not heard before. On Fridays 376 00:27:19,275 --> 00:27:22,795 Speaker 1: with Thurber next First Yes, still some more and more 377 00:27:22,835 --> 00:27:26,155 Speaker 1: idiots talk about the daily roundup of the mis grants, 378 00:27:26,235 --> 00:27:30,315 Speaker 1: morons and Dunning Krueger effects specimens who constitute today's worst 379 00:27:30,395 --> 00:27:34,995 Speaker 1: persons in the world. The brons worse. A kid who 380 00:27:35,075 --> 00:27:40,795 Speaker 1: fantasizes about watching people being killed on television. Charlie Kirk, 381 00:27:41,555 --> 00:27:45,435 Speaker 1: not characters being killed on television, actual people being executed 382 00:27:45,475 --> 00:27:49,035 Speaker 1: live on television. Charlie Kirk, the guy with the big 383 00:27:49,075 --> 00:27:52,715 Speaker 1: balloon for the head. Some of the Nazis are just 384 00:27:52,755 --> 00:27:56,595 Speaker 1: assuming Trump will regain power. Other Nazis, like Charlie Kirk, 385 00:27:56,915 --> 00:27:59,555 Speaker 1: are assuming Trump will regain power and the first thing 386 00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:02,035 Speaker 1: he's going to do is start killing his political enemies 387 00:28:02,755 --> 00:28:06,155 Speaker 1: so he can watch Charlie. That is Charlie who wants 388 00:28:06,155 --> 00:28:09,555 Speaker 1: to watch people being executed on TV. He wants quote, 389 00:28:09,755 --> 00:28:12,555 Speaker 1: other death penalties. I think what some of those guys 390 00:28:12,595 --> 00:28:15,275 Speaker 1: did to Donald Trump, to use the instruments of government 391 00:28:15,275 --> 00:28:18,555 Speaker 1: to destroy the constitutional order that should be under consideration. 392 00:28:19,435 --> 00:28:23,635 Speaker 1: Well that didn't happen, Charlie, but go on with your hallucination. Also, 393 00:28:23,755 --> 00:28:27,715 Speaker 1: Charlie says kids should be forced to watch executions and 394 00:28:27,835 --> 00:28:31,235 Speaker 1: it should be televised and sponsored. Quote, you could fund 395 00:28:31,275 --> 00:28:34,155 Speaker 1: the government, you could have like brought to you by 396 00:28:34,195 --> 00:28:36,995 Speaker 1: Coca Cola. And no, I'm not kidding, by the way, 397 00:28:37,035 --> 00:28:40,075 Speaker 1: I would totally tune in to see some pedo get 398 00:28:40,075 --> 00:28:44,235 Speaker 1: their head chopped off. Now note how this evolves. First, 399 00:28:44,275 --> 00:28:47,395 Speaker 1: he called for executing Trump's opponents. Then he called Trump's 400 00:28:47,395 --> 00:28:52,915 Speaker 1: opponents pedos. I'm saying this in absolute seriousness, Charlie Kirk 401 00:28:52,955 --> 00:28:57,475 Speaker 1: needs to be removed from society and forced to be 402 00:28:57,675 --> 00:29:01,915 Speaker 1: tested for a brain tumor, because I am now sincerely 403 00:29:02,035 --> 00:29:06,595 Speaker 1: terrified that he is desperately possible be fatally ill. And 404 00:29:06,675 --> 00:29:10,315 Speaker 1: if there's anything wrong, he should get immediate treatment, and 405 00:29:10,355 --> 00:29:14,755 Speaker 1: it should be paid for by Obamacare, and maybe he 406 00:29:14,795 --> 00:29:19,555 Speaker 1: should get a transfusion of vaccinated blood. The runner up, 407 00:29:19,595 --> 00:29:23,995 Speaker 1: good old Matt Slap the head of Seapack. The sound 408 00:29:24,035 --> 00:29:27,075 Speaker 1: of one hand slapping. You gotta hand it to Matt. Sorry, 409 00:29:27,115 --> 00:29:29,995 Speaker 1: that's a bad choice of words. The Daily Beast reports 410 00:29:30,235 --> 00:29:33,435 Speaker 1: that there are new subpoenas going out. Subpoena is also 411 00:29:33,515 --> 00:29:36,435 Speaker 1: a tough word for Matt in his sexual assault case 412 00:29:36,435 --> 00:29:39,795 Speaker 1: against the male herschel Walker campaign staffer one went to 413 00:29:39,835 --> 00:29:43,355 Speaker 1: an official quote who allegedly oversaw the shredding of personal 414 00:29:43,395 --> 00:29:47,235 Speaker 1: records belonging to Slap in the Seapack office days after 415 00:29:47,275 --> 00:29:52,595 Speaker 1: the allegations broke. But onwards, Matt goes whistling past the 416 00:29:52,635 --> 00:29:57,275 Speaker 1: straight graveyard, going on stage to say all journalists are 417 00:29:57,275 --> 00:29:59,835 Speaker 1: trying to destroy America, and he's going to punish them 418 00:29:59,995 --> 00:30:03,715 Speaker 1: by denying them media credentials to get in and see Seapack. 419 00:30:03,755 --> 00:30:06,275 Speaker 1: And I'm thinking, you're not going to let them in? 420 00:30:07,115 --> 00:30:11,435 Speaker 1: How exactly does that punish them anyway, Matt, get a 421 00:30:11,475 --> 00:30:14,875 Speaker 1: grip on yourself, or failing that, get a grip on 422 00:30:14,915 --> 00:30:18,635 Speaker 1: the guy sitting next to you. And yes, it is 423 00:30:18,675 --> 00:30:21,395 Speaker 1: the opening of Seapack that has led to the annual 424 00:30:21,475 --> 00:30:24,995 Speaker 1: wilding of the right wing psychos. Another one said Seapack 425 00:30:25,075 --> 00:30:29,435 Speaker 1: exists to replace democracy with Christo fascism, although he's not 426 00:30:29,475 --> 00:30:30,835 Speaker 1: one of the bright ones, so I don't think he 427 00:30:30,835 --> 00:30:34,155 Speaker 1: could spell Christo fascism. I think he called it something else, 428 00:30:34,555 --> 00:30:38,315 Speaker 1: which leads us to our winner, the worst Christo fascist, 429 00:30:38,475 --> 00:30:42,675 Speaker 1: General Michael Flynn, who is still somehow running around without 430 00:30:42,715 --> 00:30:46,635 Speaker 1: a hannibal lector outfit on and six guys wheeling him 431 00:30:46,675 --> 00:30:47,555 Speaker 1: from place to place. 432 00:30:47,755 --> 00:30:50,795 Speaker 4: Best president in the world, in fact, the current president 433 00:30:51,075 --> 00:30:52,995 Speaker 4: that we have in the United States of America as 434 00:30:53,035 --> 00:30:55,835 Speaker 4: President Donald J. Trump. Everybody's got to get out to 435 00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:58,515 Speaker 4: vote for Donald J. Trump come this November. He is 436 00:30:58,555 --> 00:30:59,395 Speaker 4: still the president. 437 00:30:59,635 --> 00:31:03,235 Speaker 1: General Michael Flynn's newest video there it is again, you 438 00:31:03,275 --> 00:31:08,315 Speaker 1: heard it. Trump is still president. Another new video, another 439 00:31:08,395 --> 00:31:12,515 Speaker 1: Flynn hallucination, another fascist fantasy, and more of his prejudices, 440 00:31:12,795 --> 00:31:16,075 Speaker 1: and this self defeating claim. Most of the right wingers 441 00:31:16,075 --> 00:31:18,595 Speaker 1: are surprisingly easy to understand. They are, to use the 442 00:31:18,595 --> 00:31:22,155 Speaker 1: old phrase, mental cases. They are as broken and as 443 00:31:22,195 --> 00:31:27,155 Speaker 1: a psychotic as to quote Charlie kirk Pedos. Lots of 444 00:31:27,195 --> 00:31:30,475 Speaker 1: them are that sick, and they are compensating for it 445 00:31:30,515 --> 00:31:33,475 Speaker 1: by giving voice to their fantasies of every sub human 446 00:31:33,555 --> 00:31:37,355 Speaker 1: act that they would well frankly gain sexual gratification from. 447 00:31:38,155 --> 00:31:41,355 Speaker 1: But here's the thing. I'll never understand this. What Flynn 448 00:31:41,515 --> 00:31:45,475 Speaker 1: just said there, that Trump is president now. This continues 449 00:31:45,515 --> 00:31:49,715 Speaker 1: to be one of the essences of this mass psychosis, 450 00:31:49,755 --> 00:31:53,995 Speaker 1: the red badge of stupidity that they call QAnon. And look, 451 00:31:54,035 --> 00:31:57,515 Speaker 1: if you want to fantasize that Trump's actually in charge 452 00:31:58,075 --> 00:32:02,875 Speaker 1: right now, go ahead, fantasize whatever you want. You detached 453 00:32:02,875 --> 00:32:07,715 Speaker 1: from reality long time, general, But if Trump is president now, 454 00:32:07,755 --> 00:32:11,755 Speaker 1: you're not supposed to say that because if he's president now, 455 00:32:11,795 --> 00:32:16,235 Speaker 1: he can't legally be on the ballot this November. So General, 456 00:32:16,355 --> 00:32:19,315 Speaker 1: Trump is actually president now, sure, or whatever you like, 457 00:32:19,635 --> 00:32:21,795 Speaker 1: It's the end of his second term. He's a lame duck. 458 00:32:21,835 --> 00:32:23,635 Speaker 1: He's such a lame duck. General, he's not even in 459 00:32:23,635 --> 00:32:28,715 Speaker 1: the lighthouse. Cool, General Flynn, he can't run for another term. 460 00:32:29,915 --> 00:32:33,195 Speaker 1: You pretend he's president, We'll prevent him from running for 461 00:32:33,235 --> 00:32:38,315 Speaker 1: a third term. Is it a deal, General Michael. Even 462 00:32:38,595 --> 00:32:43,115 Speaker 1: Charlie Kirk thinks there's something wrong with him, Flynn. Two days, 463 00:32:43,475 --> 00:32:49,035 Speaker 1: worst Parson and no world. Do we all know? Harry 464 00:32:49,115 --> 00:33:01,635 Speaker 1: Truman is still president? Still ahead on this all new 465 00:33:01,755 --> 00:33:04,275 Speaker 1: edition of Countdown Friday's worth Thurber and I have not 466 00:33:04,395 --> 00:33:07,915 Speaker 1: given you a new assortment of his epic and epically 467 00:33:07,955 --> 00:33:11,515 Speaker 1: political fables lately, So I will give you an assortment 468 00:33:11,555 --> 00:33:16,475 Speaker 1: of his epic and epically political fables, including the peace 469 00:33:16,635 --> 00:33:21,755 Speaker 1: like mongoose and the very proper gander. First time for 470 00:33:21,795 --> 00:33:24,195 Speaker 1: another dog. Indeed you can help. Every dog has its day. 471 00:33:24,195 --> 00:33:26,195 Speaker 1: And by the way, if you hear anything unusual during 472 00:33:26,195 --> 00:33:28,635 Speaker 1: this segment, Ted is in here with me and will 473 00:33:28,635 --> 00:33:32,595 Speaker 1: occasionally make noise because somebody moved five blocks away without 474 00:33:32,595 --> 00:33:36,315 Speaker 1: his written permission. Today a repeat. For the first time ever, 475 00:33:36,675 --> 00:33:40,635 Speaker 1: this week I got to meet Smiles, Smiles, the dog 476 00:33:41,275 --> 00:33:44,595 Speaker 1: you may remember her a little while back. Smiles suddenly 477 00:33:44,595 --> 00:33:49,955 Speaker 1: became sick lymphoma cancer. The good news is no evidence 478 00:33:49,995 --> 00:33:53,355 Speaker 1: it spread. There have now been three chemotherapy sessions. Smiles 479 00:33:53,395 --> 00:33:57,395 Speaker 1: has tolerated it wonderfully. She perked up Monday of this week. 480 00:33:57,435 --> 00:33:59,915 Speaker 1: Stevie and I were going into the animal hospital and 481 00:33:59,995 --> 00:34:03,515 Speaker 1: Smiles and her human were coming out, and she looks great. 482 00:34:03,795 --> 00:34:06,515 Speaker 1: She came right over to me and of course smiled. 483 00:34:07,155 --> 00:34:10,595 Speaker 1: Gorgeous two and a half year old Berniese mountain dog 484 00:34:10,995 --> 00:34:14,355 Speaker 1: giant with rich colors in her coat, beaming at me, 485 00:34:14,475 --> 00:34:19,555 Speaker 1: ineffable happiness shooting through her glorious eyes. She still has 486 00:34:19,595 --> 00:34:22,235 Speaker 1: more than twenty chemo sessions to go, but right now 487 00:34:22,515 --> 00:34:25,435 Speaker 1: the cost is the big worry, more than the effect, 488 00:34:25,635 --> 00:34:28,835 Speaker 1: which is what you want. So Smiles could still use 489 00:34:28,875 --> 00:34:32,355 Speaker 1: some help. Andrew is set up Andrew being her Human, 490 00:34:32,595 --> 00:34:35,315 Speaker 1: a go fund me for her at GoFundMe dot com 491 00:34:35,395 --> 00:34:39,715 Speaker 1: search Smiles Mountain that will get to her fastest. Anything 492 00:34:39,715 --> 00:34:42,235 Speaker 1: you can give will be gratefully welcomed, and just publicizing 493 00:34:42,275 --> 00:34:44,475 Speaker 1: Smiles will help her too. I'll put the link out 494 00:34:44,515 --> 00:34:47,155 Speaker 1: again on Twitter and r teeing it can make all 495 00:34:47,195 --> 00:34:50,995 Speaker 1: the difference in the world. Smiles, Thank you, Andrew, thanks you, 496 00:34:51,635 --> 00:35:08,275 Speaker 1: and I thank you. And now, as promised, Fridays with Thurber, 497 00:35:08,995 --> 00:35:11,315 Speaker 1: and I have not done a bunch of the political 498 00:35:12,315 --> 00:35:16,555 Speaker 1: fables lately, so let's dive right in. Some of these 499 00:35:16,595 --> 00:35:19,515 Speaker 1: got him into huge trouble in the nineteen fifties, and 500 00:35:19,555 --> 00:35:21,635 Speaker 1: I'm happy to think that they would get him into 501 00:35:21,715 --> 00:35:25,315 Speaker 1: huge trouble in the twenty twenties. We start with the 502 00:35:25,395 --> 00:35:29,035 Speaker 1: least political of them, just the fun one. The Mouse 503 00:35:29,195 --> 00:35:34,355 Speaker 1: who went to the Country by James Thurber. Once upon 504 00:35:34,435 --> 00:35:36,715 Speaker 1: a Sunday there was a city mouse who went to 505 00:35:36,795 --> 00:35:39,395 Speaker 1: visit a country mouse. He hit away on a train 506 00:35:39,515 --> 00:35:41,675 Speaker 1: the country mouse had told him to take, only to 507 00:35:41,715 --> 00:35:44,675 Speaker 1: find that on Sundays it did not stop at Beddington. 508 00:35:45,355 --> 00:35:47,875 Speaker 1: Hence the city mouse could not get off at Beddington 509 00:35:48,075 --> 00:35:50,715 Speaker 1: and catch a bus for Siebert's Junction, where he was 510 00:35:50,715 --> 00:35:53,395 Speaker 1: to be met by the country mouse. The city mouse, 511 00:35:53,395 --> 00:35:56,555 Speaker 1: in fact, was carried on to Middelburg, where he waited 512 00:35:56,595 --> 00:35:59,515 Speaker 1: three hours for a train to take him back. When 513 00:35:59,515 --> 00:36:01,555 Speaker 1: he got back to Beddington, he found out that the 514 00:36:01,635 --> 00:36:04,635 Speaker 1: last bus for Seebirch Junction had just left, so he ran, 515 00:36:05,035 --> 00:36:07,435 Speaker 1: and he ran, and he ran, and he finally caught 516 00:36:07,475 --> 00:36:10,195 Speaker 1: the bus and crept aboard, only to find out that 517 00:36:10,235 --> 00:36:12,395 Speaker 1: It was not the bus for Siebert's Junction at all, 518 00:36:12,715 --> 00:36:16,115 Speaker 1: but was going in the opposite direction through Pell's Hollow 519 00:36:16,435 --> 00:36:20,995 Speaker 1: and grum to a place called Whimberbee. When the bus 520 00:36:20,995 --> 00:36:23,235 Speaker 1: finally stopped, the city mouse got out in a heavy 521 00:36:23,315 --> 00:36:25,675 Speaker 1: rain and found that there were no more buses that 522 00:36:25,795 --> 00:36:30,115 Speaker 1: night going anywhere. To the hell with it, said the 523 00:36:30,155 --> 00:36:34,355 Speaker 1: city mouse, and he walked back to the city moral. 524 00:36:34,715 --> 00:36:42,235 Speaker 1: Stay where you are, you're sitting pretty. The Very Proper 525 00:36:42,315 --> 00:36:46,955 Speaker 1: Gander by James Thurber. Not so very long ago, there 526 00:36:47,035 --> 00:36:50,195 Speaker 1: was a very fine gander. He was strong and smooth 527 00:36:50,235 --> 00:36:53,355 Speaker 1: and beautiful, and he spent most of his time singing 528 00:36:53,395 --> 00:36:57,235 Speaker 1: to his wife and children. One day, somebody who saw 529 00:36:57,315 --> 00:37:00,555 Speaker 1: him strutting up and down in his yard and singing, remarked, 530 00:37:01,115 --> 00:37:05,995 Speaker 1: there is a very proper gander. A hen overheard this 531 00:37:06,395 --> 00:37:08,275 Speaker 1: and told her husband about it. That night in the 532 00:37:08,355 --> 00:37:13,395 Speaker 1: roost they said something about propaganda. She said, I have 533 00:37:13,475 --> 00:37:16,955 Speaker 1: always suspected that, said the rooster, and he went around 534 00:37:16,995 --> 00:37:19,635 Speaker 1: the barnyard next day telling everybody that the very fine 535 00:37:19,675 --> 00:37:22,995 Speaker 1: gander was a dangerous bird, more than likely a hawk 536 00:37:23,555 --> 00:37:28,595 Speaker 1: in gander's clothing. A small brown hen remembered a time 537 00:37:28,755 --> 00:37:31,755 Speaker 1: when at a great distance, she had seen the gander 538 00:37:32,235 --> 00:37:36,395 Speaker 1: talking with some hawks in the forest. They were apt 539 00:37:36,475 --> 00:37:40,595 Speaker 1: to no good, she said. A duck remembered that the 540 00:37:40,635 --> 00:37:43,235 Speaker 1: gander had once told him he did not believe in anything. 541 00:37:43,715 --> 00:37:46,915 Speaker 1: He said, to hell with the flag, too, said the duck. 542 00:37:48,075 --> 00:37:50,915 Speaker 1: A guinea hen recalled that she had once seen somebody 543 00:37:50,915 --> 00:37:54,755 Speaker 1: who looked very much like the gander throw something that 544 00:37:54,835 --> 00:38:00,035 Speaker 1: looked a great deal like a bomb. Finally, everybody snatched 545 00:38:00,115 --> 00:38:03,195 Speaker 1: up sticks and stones and descended on the gander's house. 546 00:38:03,635 --> 00:38:05,915 Speaker 1: He was strutting in his front yard, singing to his 547 00:38:06,035 --> 00:38:11,275 Speaker 1: children and his wife. There he is, everybody, cried, hawk lover, unbeliever, 548 00:38:12,075 --> 00:38:17,835 Speaker 1: flag hater, bomb thrower. So they set upon him and 549 00:38:17,955 --> 00:38:21,915 Speaker 1: drove him out of the country. Moral anybody who you 550 00:38:22,155 --> 00:38:24,395 Speaker 1: or your wife thinks is going to overthrow the government 551 00:38:24,435 --> 00:38:29,075 Speaker 1: by violence must be driven out of the country. The 552 00:38:29,195 --> 00:38:35,435 Speaker 1: very proper Gander by James Thurber. The Moth and the Star, 553 00:38:36,475 --> 00:38:39,595 Speaker 1: and I have a tattoo pertaining to this one by 554 00:38:39,675 --> 00:38:45,235 Speaker 1: James Thurber. A young and impressionable moth once set his 555 00:38:45,315 --> 00:38:48,675 Speaker 1: heart on a certain star. He told his mother about this, 556 00:38:49,275 --> 00:38:51,235 Speaker 1: and she counseled him to set his heart on a 557 00:38:51,275 --> 00:38:55,315 Speaker 1: bridge lamp instead. Stars aren't the thing to hang around, 558 00:38:55,555 --> 00:39:00,275 Speaker 1: she said. Lamps say the thing to hang around. You 559 00:39:00,355 --> 00:39:03,515 Speaker 1: get somewhere that way, said the moth's father. You don't 560 00:39:03,555 --> 00:39:07,635 Speaker 1: get anywhere chase and stars. But the moth would not 561 00:39:07,675 --> 00:39:10,875 Speaker 1: heed the words of either parent. Every evening, at dusk, 562 00:39:10,915 --> 00:39:13,795 Speaker 1: when the star came out, he would start flying toward it, 563 00:39:14,155 --> 00:39:16,435 Speaker 1: and every morning at dawn he would crawl back home, 564 00:39:16,795 --> 00:39:20,275 Speaker 1: worn out with his vein endeavor. One day his father 565 00:39:20,355 --> 00:39:23,355 Speaker 1: said to him, you haven't burned a wing in months, boy, 566 00:39:24,035 --> 00:39:25,995 Speaker 1: and it looks to me as if you're never going to. 567 00:39:26,875 --> 00:39:30,035 Speaker 1: All your brothers have been badly burned flying around street lamps, 568 00:39:30,435 --> 00:39:34,595 Speaker 1: all your sisters have been terribly singed flying around house lamps. 569 00:39:34,915 --> 00:39:38,155 Speaker 1: Come on, now, get out there and catch yourself scorched, 570 00:39:38,595 --> 00:39:41,075 Speaker 1: big strip and moth like you without a muck on him. 571 00:39:42,275 --> 00:39:45,035 Speaker 1: The moth left his father's house, but he would not 572 00:39:45,075 --> 00:39:47,795 Speaker 1: fly around street lamps, and he would not fly around 573 00:39:47,795 --> 00:39:50,635 Speaker 1: house lamps. He went right on trying to reach the star, 574 00:39:51,515 --> 00:39:54,955 Speaker 1: which was four and one third light years or twenty 575 00:39:54,995 --> 00:39:58,915 Speaker 1: five trillion miles away. The moth thought it was just 576 00:39:59,275 --> 00:40:03,155 Speaker 1: caught in the top branches of an elm. He never 577 00:40:03,235 --> 00:40:06,315 Speaker 1: did reach the star right on trying, night after night, 578 00:40:06,315 --> 00:40:09,475 Speaker 1: And when he was a very very old moth, he 579 00:40:09,555 --> 00:40:12,755 Speaker 1: began to think that he really had reached the star, 580 00:40:13,195 --> 00:40:15,995 Speaker 1: and he went around saying so. This gave him a 581 00:40:16,035 --> 00:40:18,875 Speaker 1: deep and lasting pleasure, and he lived to a great 582 00:40:18,955 --> 00:40:22,595 Speaker 1: old age. His parents, and his brothers and his sisters 583 00:40:22,595 --> 00:40:25,555 Speaker 1: had all been burned to death when they were quite young. 584 00:40:26,715 --> 00:40:31,355 Speaker 1: Moral who flies afar from the sphere of our sorrow 585 00:40:32,475 --> 00:40:38,435 Speaker 1: is here today and here tomorrow. The Moth and the 586 00:40:38,435 --> 00:40:44,915 Speaker 1: Star by James Thurber. Another one, the Owl who was God. 587 00:40:46,795 --> 00:40:49,595 Speaker 1: Once upon a starless midnight, there was an owl who 588 00:40:49,675 --> 00:40:52,715 Speaker 1: sat on the branch of an oak tree. Two ground 589 00:40:52,795 --> 00:40:57,835 Speaker 1: moles tried to slip quietly by unnoticed, You said the owl. 590 00:40:58,355 --> 00:41:02,155 Speaker 1: Who They quavered in fear and astonishment, for they could 591 00:41:02,155 --> 00:41:03,995 Speaker 1: not believe it was possible for anyone to see them 592 00:41:03,995 --> 00:41:09,555 Speaker 1: in that thick darkness, You too, said the owl. The 593 00:41:09,635 --> 00:41:12,075 Speaker 1: moles hurried away and told the other creatures of the 594 00:41:12,075 --> 00:41:14,515 Speaker 1: field and forest that the owl was the greatest and 595 00:41:14,595 --> 00:41:17,315 Speaker 1: wisest of all animals, because he could see in the dark, 596 00:41:17,675 --> 00:41:21,395 Speaker 1: and because he could answer any question. I'll see about that, 597 00:41:21,955 --> 00:41:24,635 Speaker 1: said a secretary bird, And he called on the owl 598 00:41:24,635 --> 00:41:27,315 Speaker 1: one night when it was again very dark. How many 599 00:41:27,475 --> 00:41:31,995 Speaker 1: claws am I houlding up? Said the secretary bird too, 600 00:41:32,035 --> 00:41:34,875 Speaker 1: said the owl, and he was right. Can you give 601 00:41:34,915 --> 00:41:38,435 Speaker 1: me another expression for that is to say or? Namely? 602 00:41:39,075 --> 00:41:43,795 Speaker 1: Asked the secretary bird to wit, said the owl. Why 603 00:41:43,795 --> 00:41:46,875 Speaker 1: does a lover call on his love? Asked the secretary 604 00:41:46,915 --> 00:41:53,915 Speaker 1: bird to woo, said the owl. The secretary bird hastened 605 00:41:53,955 --> 00:41:56,155 Speaker 1: back to the other creatures and reported that the owl 606 00:41:56,235 --> 00:41:58,595 Speaker 1: was indeed the greatest and wisest animal in the world, 607 00:41:58,675 --> 00:42:00,315 Speaker 1: because he could see in the dark, and because he 608 00:42:00,315 --> 00:42:06,035 Speaker 1: could answer any question. Can he see in the daytime? Two? 609 00:42:06,315 --> 00:42:10,235 Speaker 1: Asked a red fox, Yes, echoed a dormouse and a 610 00:42:10,275 --> 00:42:14,275 Speaker 1: French poodle. Can he see in the daytime? Too? All 611 00:42:14,315 --> 00:42:17,955 Speaker 1: the other creatures laughed loudly at this silly question, and 612 00:42:18,035 --> 00:42:20,075 Speaker 1: they set upon the red fox and his friends and 613 00:42:20,395 --> 00:42:22,715 Speaker 1: drove them out of the region. Then they sent a 614 00:42:22,755 --> 00:42:26,315 Speaker 1: messenger to the owl and asked him to be their leader. 615 00:42:27,755 --> 00:42:30,315 Speaker 1: When the owl appeared among the animals, it was high 616 00:42:30,315 --> 00:42:34,275 Speaker 1: noon and the sun was shining brightly. He walked very slowly, 617 00:42:34,355 --> 00:42:37,075 Speaker 1: which gave him an appearance of great dignity, and he 618 00:42:37,155 --> 00:42:41,275 Speaker 1: peered about him with large staring eyes, which gave him 619 00:42:41,315 --> 00:42:46,995 Speaker 1: an air of tremendous importance. He's God, screamed Plymouth Rockhand, 620 00:42:47,515 --> 00:42:50,195 Speaker 1: and the others took up the cry He's God, He's God. 621 00:42:51,075 --> 00:42:53,275 Speaker 1: So they followed him wherever he went, and when he 622 00:42:53,355 --> 00:42:56,635 Speaker 1: began to bump into things, they began to bump into 623 00:42:56,635 --> 00:43:00,635 Speaker 1: things too. Finally, he came to a concrete highway and 624 00:43:00,675 --> 00:43:02,635 Speaker 1: he started up the middle of it, and all the 625 00:43:02,675 --> 00:43:05,955 Speaker 1: other creatures followed him. Santle, a hawk who was acting 626 00:43:05,995 --> 00:43:09,115 Speaker 1: as an outrider, observed a truck coming toward them at 627 00:43:09,115 --> 00:43:12,435 Speaker 1: fifty miles an hour, and he reported to the Secretary bird, 628 00:43:12,555 --> 00:43:15,915 Speaker 1: and the secretary bird reported to the owl. There's danger ahead, 629 00:43:16,155 --> 00:43:20,955 Speaker 1: said the secretary bird too. Witch, said the owl. The 630 00:43:20,995 --> 00:43:25,755 Speaker 1: secretary bird told him, aren't you afraid, he asked, Woo, 631 00:43:27,115 --> 00:43:30,155 Speaker 1: said the owl calmly, for he could not see the truck. 632 00:43:30,475 --> 00:43:33,195 Speaker 1: He's God, cried all the creatures again, and they were 633 00:43:33,195 --> 00:43:36,595 Speaker 1: still crying, He's God, He's God. When the truck hit 634 00:43:36,635 --> 00:43:39,435 Speaker 1: them and ran them down. Some of the animals were 635 00:43:39,435 --> 00:43:41,995 Speaker 1: merely injured, but most of them, including the owl, were killed. 636 00:43:42,995 --> 00:43:48,435 Speaker 1: Moral you can fool too many of the people, too 637 00:43:48,555 --> 00:43:55,515 Speaker 1: much of the time The Owl who was God by 638 00:43:55,635 --> 00:44:00,395 Speaker 1: James thurberd Two more of Thurber's fables Political of Nature, 639 00:44:01,235 --> 00:44:05,955 Speaker 1: The Birds and the Foxes. Once upon a time there 640 00:44:05,995 --> 00:44:09,475 Speaker 1: was a bird sanctuary in which hundreds of Baltimore orioles 641 00:44:09,595 --> 00:44:13,835 Speaker 1: lived together happily. The refuge consisted of a forest entirely 642 00:44:13,875 --> 00:44:17,915 Speaker 1: surrounded by a high wire fence. When it was put up, 643 00:44:18,195 --> 00:44:21,435 Speaker 1: a pack of foxes who lived nearby protested that it 644 00:44:21,475 --> 00:44:25,555 Speaker 1: was an arbitrary and unnatural boundary. However, they did nothing 645 00:44:25,595 --> 00:44:27,835 Speaker 1: about it at the time because they were interested in 646 00:44:27,995 --> 00:44:32,475 Speaker 1: civilizing the geese and ducks on the neighboring farms. When 647 00:44:32,475 --> 00:44:35,155 Speaker 1: all the geese and ducks had been civilized and there 648 00:44:35,195 --> 00:44:38,595 Speaker 1: was nothing left to eat, the foxes once more turned 649 00:44:38,595 --> 00:44:41,795 Speaker 1: their attention to the bird sanctuary. Their leader announced that 650 00:44:41,835 --> 00:44:44,915 Speaker 1: there had been foxes once in the sanctuary, but that 651 00:44:44,955 --> 00:44:48,515 Speaker 1: they had been driven out. He proclaimed that Baltimore orioles 652 00:44:48,875 --> 00:44:52,435 Speaker 1: belonged in Baltimore. He said furthermore that the orioles in 653 00:44:52,475 --> 00:44:55,475 Speaker 1: the sanctuary were a continuous menace to the peace of 654 00:44:55,515 --> 00:44:59,435 Speaker 1: the world. The other animals cautioned the foxes not to 655 00:44:59,475 --> 00:45:04,035 Speaker 1: disturb the birds in their sanctuary, So the foxes attacked 656 00:45:04,035 --> 00:45:06,355 Speaker 1: the sanctuary one night and tore down the fence that 657 00:45:06,435 --> 00:45:09,475 Speaker 1: surrounded it. The Orioles rushed out and were instantly killed 658 00:45:09,475 --> 00:45:12,915 Speaker 1: and eaten by the foxes. The next day, the leader 659 00:45:12,915 --> 00:45:16,115 Speaker 1: of the foxes, a fox from whom God was receiving 660 00:45:16,195 --> 00:45:20,115 Speaker 1: daily guidance, got under the rostrum and addressed the other 661 00:45:20,195 --> 00:45:24,195 Speaker 1: foxes from it. His message was simple and sublime. You 662 00:45:24,275 --> 00:45:28,835 Speaker 1: see before you, he said another Lincoln, we have liberated 663 00:45:28,875 --> 00:45:36,035 Speaker 1: all them birds. Moral government of the orioles by the foxes, 664 00:45:37,275 --> 00:45:45,155 Speaker 1: and for the foxes must perish from the earth. And lastly, 665 00:45:46,355 --> 00:45:53,635 Speaker 1: the peace like mongoose by James Thurber. In Cobra country, 666 00:45:53,995 --> 00:45:56,835 Speaker 1: a mongoose was born one day who did not want 667 00:45:56,835 --> 00:46:00,995 Speaker 1: to fight cobras or anything else. The words spread from 668 00:46:01,035 --> 00:46:03,275 Speaker 1: mongoose to mongoose that there was a mongoose who didn't 669 00:46:03,275 --> 00:46:05,955 Speaker 1: want to fight cobras. I won't fight anything else. It 670 00:46:05,995 --> 00:46:08,435 Speaker 1: was his own business. But it was the duty of 671 00:46:08,555 --> 00:46:16,155 Speaker 1: every mongoose to kill cobras or be killed by cobras. Why, 672 00:46:16,915 --> 00:46:19,955 Speaker 1: asked the peace like mongoose, And the word went around 673 00:46:19,955 --> 00:46:23,875 Speaker 1: that the strange new mongoose was not only pro cobra 674 00:46:25,115 --> 00:46:30,675 Speaker 1: and anti mongoose, but intellectually curious and against the ideals 675 00:46:30,675 --> 00:46:35,435 Speaker 1: and traditions of Mongoosism. He is crazy, cried the young 676 00:46:35,515 --> 00:46:40,635 Speaker 1: mongoose's father. Hey is sick, said his mother. He's a coward, 677 00:46:41,075 --> 00:46:46,795 Speaker 1: shouted his brothers. He is a mongoose sexual, whispered his sisters. 678 00:46:47,915 --> 00:46:50,675 Speaker 1: Strangers who had never laid eyes on the piece like mongoose, 679 00:46:50,995 --> 00:46:53,595 Speaker 1: remembered that they had seen him crawling on his stomach, 680 00:46:54,435 --> 00:46:59,635 Speaker 1: or trying on cobra hoods, or plotting the violent overthrow 681 00:46:59,675 --> 00:47:07,355 Speaker 1: of Mongoosia. I'm trying to use reason and intelligence, said 682 00:47:07,355 --> 00:47:13,595 Speaker 1: the strange new mongoose. Reason is six sevenths of treason, 683 00:47:14,195 --> 00:47:18,235 Speaker 1: said one of his neighbors. Intelligence is what the enemy uses, 684 00:47:18,795 --> 00:47:22,595 Speaker 1: said another. Finally, the rumor spread that the mongoose had 685 00:47:22,675 --> 00:47:26,115 Speaker 1: venom in his sting like a cobra, and he was tried, 686 00:47:26,475 --> 00:47:29,755 Speaker 1: convicted by a show of pause, and condemned to banishment. 687 00:47:31,475 --> 00:47:36,635 Speaker 1: Moral ashes to ashes, and clay to clay. If the 688 00:47:36,755 --> 00:47:42,355 Speaker 1: enemy doesn't get you, your own folks may the piece 689 00:47:42,475 --> 00:48:00,995 Speaker 1: Like mongoose by James Thurber, I've done all the damage 690 00:48:00,995 --> 00:48:03,195 Speaker 1: I can do here. Thank you for listening. Countdown musical 691 00:48:03,195 --> 00:48:06,755 Speaker 1: directors Brian Ray and John Chanelle arranged, produced, and performed 692 00:48:06,795 --> 00:48:09,675 Speaker 1: most of our music. Mister Ray was on the guitars, 693 00:48:09,755 --> 00:48:13,035 Speaker 1: bass and drums. Mister Shanelle handled orchestration and keyboards. That 694 00:48:13,155 --> 00:48:16,595 Speaker 1: it was produced by TKO Brothers, which is mister Ray, 695 00:48:16,635 --> 00:48:19,955 Speaker 1: mister Shanelle and mister me. Another music, including some of 696 00:48:19,995 --> 00:48:23,115 Speaker 1: the Beethoven compositions, were arranged and performed by the group 697 00:48:23,155 --> 00:48:26,195 Speaker 1: No Horns Allowed. The sports music is the Olderman theme 698 00:48:26,235 --> 00:48:29,355 Speaker 1: from ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of 699 00:48:29,555 --> 00:48:33,315 Speaker 1: ESPN Inc. Our satirical and pithy musical comments are by 700 00:48:33,395 --> 00:48:36,715 Speaker 1: Nancy Faust. The best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer 701 00:48:36,715 --> 00:48:39,715 Speaker 1: today was my friend Tony Kornheiser. The Thurber selections are, 702 00:48:39,755 --> 00:48:44,195 Speaker 1: of course copyrighted by the Thurber Literary Trust. Everything else 703 00:48:44,795 --> 00:48:47,435 Speaker 1: was pretty much my fault. That's countdown for this The 704 00:48:47,435 --> 00:48:50,595 Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty seventh day until the twenty twenty 705 00:48:50,595 --> 00:48:55,235 Speaker 1: four US presidential election, the one forty second day since 706 00:48:55,315 --> 00:48:58,195 Speaker 1: dementia J. Bong goose Oh, No, I read that wrong, 707 00:48:58,355 --> 00:49:02,275 Speaker 1: since dementia J. Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically 708 00:49:02,315 --> 00:49:05,755 Speaker 1: elected government of the United States. You's the Fourteenth Amendment 709 00:49:05,875 --> 00:49:09,835 Speaker 1: the Insurrection Act, the justice system, and anti Cobra measures 710 00:49:10,355 --> 00:49:13,115 Speaker 1: to stop him from doing it again while we still can. 711 00:49:13,995 --> 00:49:17,395 Speaker 1: The next scheduled countdown is Tuesday. Do not forget our 712 00:49:17,555 --> 00:49:21,555 Speaker 1: live YouTube special after the President's State of the Union 713 00:49:21,595 --> 00:49:25,275 Speaker 1: address on the night of Thursday, March seventh, bulletins, as 714 00:49:25,355 --> 00:49:28,195 Speaker 1: other news warrants Till the next time, I'm Keith Ouldremman. 715 00:49:28,395 --> 00:49:45,115 Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown 716 00:49:45,195 --> 00:49:48,915 Speaker 1: with Keith Olreman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more 717 00:49:48,995 --> 00:49:53,955 Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 718 00:49:53,995 --> 00:49:55,835 Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts.