1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,160 Speaker 1: I want to break up with my boyfriend because his 2 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:05,240 Speaker 1: mom told me to not speak unless spoken to ah 3 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:06,880 Speaker 1: well to pre free. 4 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:07,320 Speaker 2: Uh. 5 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,639 Speaker 1: My boyfriend thirty two male and I twenty seven female 6 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: had been friends for five plus years and close friends 7 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,119 Speaker 1: for three plus years, and a little over two years 8 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:18,920 Speaker 1: ago we began hooking up. 9 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 2: Like when like relationships start as friendships. That's fun. Yeah, 10 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 2: I think that's important. 11 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: Both agreed that we didn't want a relationship at the time. 12 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 1: It didn't take the long, though, for both of us 13 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: to develop feelings, and we agreed that it was best 14 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:35,840 Speaker 1: that we went our separate ways. 15 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:39,199 Speaker 2: What No, you were just about the love up on 16 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:39,599 Speaker 2: each other. 17 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 3: We discontent, No, we had. They had to stop it. 18 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 3: They had to stop it, go their separate ways. 19 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from a must Hustle left 20 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 1: Whisker from the Arsasha Okay storytime sabreddet However, February of 21 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 1: twenty twenty three, he invited me out to lunch and 22 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: confessed to me that it had been a mistake and 23 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: when he pictured his future, it had always involved me. 24 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 1: By the end of the conversation, we both admitted to 25 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:07,320 Speaker 1: having strong feelings for each other and wanted to give 26 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: dating a shot. So from that point on, things progressed 27 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 1: fairly quickly. As we already knew each other very deeply. 28 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:17,039 Speaker 1: Even when we were just friends, we often could read 29 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: each other's minds. We soon began to talk plans of 30 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 1: when we can get engaged slash married, slash have kids 31 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,119 Speaker 1: in the coming years. These feelings were also communicated very 32 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 1: early on to his parents. Remember that for later put 33 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,199 Speaker 1: an ic you in the chat if you see what's 34 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: about to go down. 35 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 2: I don't want that to go down. I like this 36 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 2: relationship well, ship to sail into the sunset. 37 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 1: Freaking bad Samuel. Also, before I get into what his 38 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: family has said, Slash done, I do want to preface 39 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 1: something when I tell you this man is the most loving, 40 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: caring and kind man I have ever met. I really, 41 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 1: really mean it. I have been in abusive relationships in 42 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: the past and had honestly just given up on dating. 43 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 1: If I was not with him, I do not think 44 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,560 Speaker 1: I would be planning a future with another person. He 45 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: has met all of my friends and family and they 46 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 1: have welcomed him with open arms. My friends adore how 47 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: he treats me well, and he has truly been one 48 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,520 Speaker 1: of the best things that has ever happened to me. 49 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: Any issues we had we talked through calmly and together, 50 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,399 Speaker 1: and we worked past them. About six months into our relationship, 51 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: I began to express more frequently that I wanted to 52 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:30,240 Speaker 1: meet his mom and dad. For context, they are still married, 53 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: although it is very strained all capitals, extremely unhappily married. 54 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: Ooh baby, strained like some wet noodles. And the beginning 55 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: of our relationship, he had moved in with them less 56 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: than ten minutes down the road from my parents' house 57 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 1: and about fifteen minutes down the road from my own home. Okay, 58 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 1: we stopped by his parents' home several times where I 59 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,360 Speaker 1: was asked to wait in the car, and once we 60 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: had met them at a gas station late one night 61 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: for important medical reasons, and again I was asked to 62 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 1: wait in the car. 63 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 2: Maybe he's like uncomfortable with what his parents think of 64 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 2: ope or what they might say. 65 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,919 Speaker 3: There's definitely something's. 66 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 2: Something's awry, something's amiss. 67 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 1: He always explained it as he needs our meeting to 68 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 1: be under the right circumstances, quote unquote. Soon after that, 69 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,079 Speaker 1: I met his uncle and his uncle's family. It went 70 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,399 Speaker 1: so well. We made the two and a half hour 71 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 1: road trip drive to hang out with his uncle again 72 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,920 Speaker 1: once or twice in the following months. I remember my 73 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: heart being so full seeing how kind and welcoming his 74 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 1: uncle's family was. However, I still had not met his parents. 75 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: He literally met the uncle before the I don't understand. 76 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 1: I under like, man, they must be bad. I think 77 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 1: we're about to understand how bad unfortunately. 78 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 2: Okay, let's see. 79 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: When I finally met his mom, it was fine, but 80 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 1: she did come across as a very my way or 81 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: the highway and got upset with a waiter that was 82 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: calling orders in the restaurants. Excuse me, sir, why are 83 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 1: you calling orders and doing your job? 84 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 2: Can you please? Can you please not do that? 85 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 1: Could you just use your telepathic skills to be able 86 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 1: to silently communicate? 87 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 3: So when your drum a dinner in piece, I have. 88 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 2: A robot serve me like they do in Japan. Please. 89 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: As someone who grew up in a in a semi 90 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: cultish church, whoa, I was already too familiar with the 91 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:30,840 Speaker 1: holier than thou pastor's wife with a dash of Karen persona, 92 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: if you know, you know a few weeks later I 93 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,279 Speaker 1: almost met his dad at a soccer game, but he 94 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,919 Speaker 1: left about ten minutes, no speaking to me much. I 95 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: saw his mom once or twice after that, and she 96 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 1: didn't make much of an effort to speak to me 97 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,479 Speaker 1: or get to know me. Then her behavior towards me 98 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:50,719 Speaker 1: in these small interactions became increasingly rude, such as walking 99 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 1: away when I was in the middle of inviting her 100 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 1: over for dinner. 101 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 2: This sounds like someone trying to like spy an elusive 102 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 2: die or animal. It's like, yeah, I was trying to 103 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 2: get close to it and then it ran away. 104 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 1: Yeah. Like every time she leads up to something, she's like, hey, 105 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,039 Speaker 1: so you know I was wondering if you could come 106 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: back to dinner. 107 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:13,719 Speaker 3: She's like, oh. 108 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 2: No, no, run away, run away. Oh yet, oh my muffins, 109 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 2: I must take them out of the op. Mom, just 110 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 2: just stay in place and talk to me like a 111 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:25,479 Speaker 2: real human. 112 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 1: Just sit for two seconds. As my boyfriend had just 113 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: moved in and had already expressed to his dad he 114 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,479 Speaker 1: wanted to have his parents over so we could cook 115 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 1: for them. At the time, I thought she maybe just 116 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: didn't hear me. Eventually, at his uncle's Christmas party, I 117 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: began to really notice his mom doing passive aggressive behaviors 118 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:48,720 Speaker 1: towards me, and how and how intentional it seemed. For example, 119 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,679 Speaker 1: she would randomly began talking in front of me about 120 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,600 Speaker 1: how terrible public schools are and how she would never 121 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: let her kids be educated by inept public school teachers 122 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: from the South. Both my boyfriend and his brother went 123 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:06,799 Speaker 1: to extremely expensive international private schools kindergarten. 124 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 3: Through twelfth grade. 125 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,600 Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's enough to make your blow your 126 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,599 Speaker 1: hair back, you know, I mean, my God, to shock 127 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: you with the. 128 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 2: Cost of it. 129 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 1: I know, I am shocked, my goodness, while knowing that 130 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: not only am I a product of Southern public schools, 131 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 1: but also, ladies and gentlemen, a Southern public school teacher myself. 132 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,360 Speaker 2: That's a double dunk. 133 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:34,039 Speaker 1: To rewind it back, Mom said, and I quote that 134 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,719 Speaker 1: she would never let her kids kids be educated by 135 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 1: inept public school teachers from the South, as if it's 136 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:42,720 Speaker 1: not already. 137 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 2: And also nept public school teachers from the South that 138 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 2: are in this room and talking to me right now, 139 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 2: I would never let my children do that. 140 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: That's enough to make me just like grab my hair 141 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:57,479 Speaker 1: and then just yank one thickled strand down and frustration. 142 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,120 Speaker 3: I mean that is just beyond. 143 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 4: From street, frustrated, and hey, most of them can ridd 144 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 4: just some of them can't. 145 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, exactly. Riley is the perfect example. 146 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 4: I'm having a hard time, but I'm making a worse 147 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 4: guys once again, a dyslexic reading podcast producer. 148 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 3: Host from the South. 149 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 2: Come on. 150 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 1: She said other passive aggressive things like this throughout the night, 151 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: and would also ignore me or respond in only one 152 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 1: or two words when I tried to speak to her. 153 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: So when I told her about the point set of 154 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: flower I bought for her, she visibly rolled her eyes 155 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:37,880 Speaker 1: and seemed annoyed. She also would turn her back to 156 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,560 Speaker 1: me or come stand in front of me with her 157 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 1: back to me while I was in a group conversation. 158 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 2: So like, I mean, now I understand why Ope did 159 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 2: not want to introduce his parents. Start like they suck. 160 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 2: They suck terrible. 161 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,239 Speaker 1: It's so aggravating it makes you want to take both 162 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 1: your hands, take two even thicker strands of your hair 163 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 1: and just freaking you know, twist it up and. 164 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 3: Just yeah, I can't. 165 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 2: Imagine deal with this. 166 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 3: I can't even fath Just listen to him makes me 167 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 3: want to do that. Oh my god. 168 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 1: Well, I mentioned that I mentioned that night to my 169 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 1: boyfriend when we were alone, how uncomfortable her behavior had 170 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: made me feel. He tried to explain a lot of 171 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: it as just the business of the night and said 172 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 1: that we would all be able to get to know 173 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 1: each other a lot better in Boston. You see, we 174 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: had planned for my birthday, which is on New Year's Eve. 175 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 1: By the way, Wow, that's crazy that we would go 176 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,840 Speaker 1: visit his brother in Boston and last minute found out 177 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 1: that his parents had an extra room in the house 178 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,319 Speaker 1: that they had been loaned to by a friend. Wow, 179 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,920 Speaker 1: and that they were going on almost the exact same 180 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: days as us. My boyfriend had asked if we could 181 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 1: stay with them, and his father said yes. So stupidly, 182 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,599 Speaker 1: I gased at myself that everything had simply been coincidence 183 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: and I was being too sensitive and optim and was 184 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: optimistic as I packed my suitcase. Once we landed to Boston, 185 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: I came down with a cold, and my boyfriend, with 186 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:10,320 Speaker 1: medical issues, became very ill. I was terrified that he 187 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 1: was going to end up in the emergency room. This 188 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:17,559 Speaker 1: is like this serious stuff, this is serious, serious stuff business. 189 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 1: I was constantly running to the corner store to get 190 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,200 Speaker 1: medicine he asked for and even walked two miles to 191 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: get him Italian wedding soup from Whole Foods because I 192 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,080 Speaker 1: was trying to keep his sodium levels down. 193 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 3: Hydration was a big concern to keep him out of 194 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 3: the er. 195 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,560 Speaker 1: Meanwhile, his mom went out of her way to not 196 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 1: speak to me, make passive aggressive comments to other people 197 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: that seemed directed at me, be overly nice to everyone else, 198 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: and when I would walk in and would walk in 199 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,199 Speaker 1: front of me and put her back to me anytime 200 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,679 Speaker 1: we were standing in a group, especially on my birthday 201 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,560 Speaker 1: when we were all at an escape room arcade. Dude, 202 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: the mom literally on her own birthday, is like, no, no, 203 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 1: we can't and have her like She's like, okay, guys, 204 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 1: let's plan the escape room. And then the mom's like, yeah, yeah, 205 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 1: let's let's let's plan that. 206 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 3: And he's like, can I can I poke my head 207 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:11,319 Speaker 3: in here? 208 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 2: Kay? Please? Can we have a dialogue? Dude? No, not 209 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 2: at all. 210 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 3: It's enough to just make you take your hand and 211 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 3: I don't even know just you know, just just just 212 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 3: take your hair and just go just go crazy, right, 213 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 3: I mean, agreed, agreed, agreed. I don't get it. I 214 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:30,959 Speaker 3: don't get it. 215 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: If I spoke to her, she would walk away in 216 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: the middle of me talking and wave me off. 217 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 3: Like a shoe, like you're shoeing a dog. Be gone, 218 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:41,720 Speaker 3: get out of my face. 219 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,440 Speaker 1: When we return home, I spoke to my boyfriend about 220 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 1: her behavior, and he said he noticed it too and 221 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:48,360 Speaker 1: was not sure. 222 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 3: Why she was acting that way. 223 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 1: The only explanation he could come up with is that 224 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 1: we were very different personality wise. Let's take a quick 225 00:10:58,520 --> 00:10:59,959 Speaker 1: little pause right here. 226 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,720 Speaker 2: Okay, wait, why are we pausing. 227 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 1: Because I felt it important to stop right here because 228 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 1: I think we need to talk about the boyfriend a 229 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,200 Speaker 1: little bit. I think that the boyfriend is enabling his 230 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 1: mom and is absolutely afraid to confront her. 231 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah. He's not putting down boundaries. He's 232 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,839 Speaker 2: not putting down like I think, like in a situation 233 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,400 Speaker 2: like this where you have a mom that's like overstepping 234 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 2: every boundary, your girlfriend can't be the person that says, hey, 235 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 2: stop because she doesn't have that relationship. 236 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 1: He said that he was going to speak to her 237 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: about treating me with respect. However, when he tried to 238 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: have this conversation, she proceeded to talk poorly about me 239 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 1: for two plus hours. How can you say I hate 240 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,280 Speaker 1: this person two hours plus straight? How you only have 241 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,720 Speaker 1: so many hair follicles on your head? 242 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 2: How do you know? 243 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,960 Speaker 1: I don't know how these things can happen, but I 244 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: guess it does. And my boyfriend claims he just froze 245 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,400 Speaker 1: and he didn't. 246 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:51,840 Speaker 2: Know what to do. 247 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 3: Oohoo, and I don't know what you do. 248 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 1: Now. He tried to defend me, but he admitted he 249 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 1: disassociated for a lot of the conversation. She claimed I 250 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: was controlling because I gave him niquilt when he asked 251 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 1: for it, and she doesn't like niquil, and that I 252 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: spoke for him because I told her that I was 253 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 1: worried about his fever and his cough. Then claimed that 254 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,439 Speaker 1: I had tried to physically block her access to him 255 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 1: while he was sick. 256 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 3: This just straight up never happened. 257 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:28,800 Speaker 1: So after him and I had a very serious discussion 258 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 1: about setting boundaries with his mom. 259 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 3: He tried to speak to her again. 260 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 1: Right after him and I having a very serious discussion 261 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 1: about setting boundaries with his mom, he tried to speak 262 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,880 Speaker 1: to her again and explained that I was trying to 263 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:47,880 Speaker 1: be helpful and I have good intentions by literally getting 264 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:52,360 Speaker 1: him medicine when he's freaking dying. Well, the conversation went 265 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:56,600 Speaker 1: much the same as before. Nothing change. Hmm, she's so terrible. 266 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 2: I feel like she never Yeah, she's shown time to 267 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,960 Speaker 2: time again that she will not change. 268 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 1: My boyfriend asked if she would be willing to sit 269 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 1: down and speak with me, as it seems there was 270 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 1: a lot of miscommunications going on. She responded she felt 271 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,680 Speaker 1: it wasn't her place to have a talk with me. 272 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,679 Speaker 1: At first, I told my boyfriend no because I didn't 273 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 1: like that, and she was going into She was going 274 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 1: into it with the mindset that I need to be 275 00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:23,560 Speaker 1: put in my place. But my boyfriend insisted that was 276 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,960 Speaker 1: not much the But my boyfriend insisted that was not 277 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,040 Speaker 1: the point of the convo. 278 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,760 Speaker 3: I could see how much it was. 279 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:33,200 Speaker 1: Hurting my boyfriend, and so reluctantly I agreed and reached 280 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 1: out to her. So, with my boyfriend's help, I drafted 281 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: and eventually sent a text apologizing if any of my 282 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 1: behavior had been hurtful, expressing my intention was to care 283 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 1: for him in a time of need, and expressing that 284 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 1: I wish he had given me a chance to explain 285 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,840 Speaker 1: these things at the time. So we could clear up 286 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,439 Speaker 1: any misunderstandings. 287 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 2: I also feel like that's like that's taking the bigger person. 288 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:59,959 Speaker 1: Like that is that is a you know, that's this big, 289 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,599 Speaker 1: that's a big You're taking the high road and the 290 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:07,280 Speaker 1: highest road, higher than your hair can even stand. You know, 291 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,760 Speaker 1: that's how high of a road. 292 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,600 Speaker 2: And that's to think where you want to be at 293 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,960 Speaker 2: like is in as many ways and as many times 294 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 2: as possible. It's where you want to be. It's where 295 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 2: you want to be right. 296 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 1: I also said that although we do not have to 297 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 1: be best friends, I hoped in the future we would 298 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,360 Speaker 1: both treat each other with respect because we both cared 299 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 1: about my boyfriend in all seriousness. Very classy message in 300 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,520 Speaker 1: OPI didn't even have to do that, But I'll give 301 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 1: it to OPI for having the most kind approach humanly conceivable. 302 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,880 Speaker 1: She responded with a day in time she wanted to 303 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 1: sit down and have a chat at Starbucks. The day 304 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 1: arrives and I walk into my boyfriend, who said he 305 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 1: would meet me there from work, already inside and standing 306 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 1: with his parents waiting on me. Immediately, I had a 307 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 1: sinking feeling, as you can imagine. The three hour conversation 308 00:14:57,280 --> 00:15:04,440 Speaker 1: went terrible. Oh, but some highlights of my favorite things 309 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:07,640 Speaker 1: she said to me are and I quote number one. 310 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 1: Unless she comes up to me and asks me to speak, 311 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 1: she doesn't want to hear what I have to say. 312 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,640 Speaker 3: She would be allowed to do what she wants with 313 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 3: her body. 314 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 1: When I asked if she could please stop walking in 315 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,200 Speaker 1: the middle of groups while I'm talking with others and 316 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:26,080 Speaker 1: putting her back to me, so I'm excluded from the conversation. 317 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:30,440 Speaker 2: She'll do with her body? What she my body? My choice? 318 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 3: Mm that yeah, apparently number. 319 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,840 Speaker 2: Poor use of that catch phrase on my part. I'm sorry, 320 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 2: my god. 321 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 3: Number three. 322 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 1: She had in fact been kind to me because she 323 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 1: allowed me to hug her first when she entered her 324 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: son's home. Context. I bought the home one hundred percent 325 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 1: independently before he and I ever started dating. But I 326 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: guess since a man moved in, it's his now. I'm 327 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,040 Speaker 1: just a silly little girl. She also was kind to 328 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:04,920 Speaker 1: me because she prayed an asthma attack away. It was 329 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: definitely not the person who lent me their rescue in 330 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,160 Speaker 1: Hayler that saved the day that day. 331 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 3: Number five, don't look at him, look at me. 332 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 1: We are having a conversation because I turned to my boyfriend, 333 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 1: hoping he would chime in when I pointed out that 334 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 1: either he nor I remember anything remotely close to me, 335 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:28,120 Speaker 1: physically blocking her from entering the door to our room 336 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 1: when she wanted to ask him what his symptoms were 337 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: and what he took moments after asking me the exact 338 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: same questions and then walking away before I could answer 339 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,080 Speaker 1: and barging into our room. I was behind her at 340 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,280 Speaker 1: this point, so I am not sure how she could 341 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: have ever perceived. 342 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,600 Speaker 3: I tried blocking her number six. 343 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 2: Oh man, there we got numbers. We got numbers on 344 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 2: the screen. 345 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,680 Speaker 3: We are not done yet. 346 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: I was controlling because I was self conscious, amazing that 347 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,000 Speaker 1: someone who has never asked a single question about me 348 00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: knows me so well. 349 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:04,399 Speaker 3: Also because I gave my boyfriend night quill when he 350 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,359 Speaker 3: asked for it, and she doesn't like night quill. 351 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 2: Dude, why are people hating on night quill? Niquil's great. 352 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 1: She knows everything, and I mean everything about my boyfriend, 353 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 1: and she has known him for longer than I have, 354 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:25,159 Speaker 1: some would even say from birth, and therefore there is 355 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 1: nothing I can tell her about him that she doesn't 356 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:31,640 Speaker 1: already know. And therefore I should not speak about him 357 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,920 Speaker 1: to her, uh to speak about him to her or 358 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,000 Speaker 1: anyone else. 359 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 3: Number eight. There's nothing I can give him that she 360 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:41,680 Speaker 3: can't give him. 361 00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:45,879 Speaker 2: That's so bad. I was making a jump before. 362 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:50,920 Speaker 1: H and ah, wow, I'm speechless. Too much time has 363 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,840 Speaker 1: passed since the trip and I shouldn't be bringing this 364 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,639 Speaker 1: up now. Number nine, Guys, we're not even we're not 365 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 1: even done with this list. Number nine repeatedly referring to 366 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 1: me as my boyfriend's friend and a guest of the family. 367 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,680 Speaker 3: Nine icing on the cake or ten icing on the cake. 368 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,760 Speaker 1: After berating me, gaslighting me, interrupting me, and belittling me 369 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 1: for almost three hours, and me finally on the verge 370 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 1: of tears, she jumps up, rushes into my personal space 371 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,439 Speaker 1: and says, See, this isn't about me. 372 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 3: This is about something going on with you. 373 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,120 Speaker 1: You were hurting and that's why, and that's what I'm 374 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 1: worried about. At that point, I walked out, drove home 375 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 1: sobbing to my best friend on the phone about what 376 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 1: had just happened, locked myself in the bedroom, and cried 377 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:47,719 Speaker 1: myself to sleep. Needless to say, I was devastated because 378 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,680 Speaker 1: I was seriously doubting the relationship. 379 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:57,840 Speaker 2: Let's take a pause right here. This relationship is ft. 380 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 1: Pole break up or work on it, because I ask, 381 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 1: because because. 382 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,879 Speaker 2: They do have they've had a decent relationship before all this. Yeah, 383 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 2: and he knows how bad it is. He was trying 384 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,439 Speaker 2: to keep it away from her. 385 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 1: They met the uncle's family multiple times before OP got 386 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:27,160 Speaker 1: to meet his parents, and this is the reason why 387 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,879 Speaker 1: he was trying to hold off as long as he 388 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:29,680 Speaker 1: possibly could. 389 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 2: We do have some votes coming in for breakup, but 390 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 2: just before everyone swarms to the breakup. 391 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,160 Speaker 3: Yep, let's talk about it. 392 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,359 Speaker 2: I you know, I don't want to judge people on 393 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:44,159 Speaker 2: how terrible their parents are, Like, we don't want to 394 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,360 Speaker 2: do that. We don't want to do that, we don't 395 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,399 Speaker 2: want to do that. I do think it's a red flag. 396 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:52,359 Speaker 2: The boyfriend hasn't stood up as much as I feel 397 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,879 Speaker 2: like he should in this case. 398 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 1: At this point it all I feel like it's pivoting 399 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,960 Speaker 1: on the boyfriend. And if we'll actually stand up and 400 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,920 Speaker 1: do any of the things we just tal And if 401 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:01,359 Speaker 1: you really. 402 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,480 Speaker 4: Want to be with him and you don't want the 403 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,120 Speaker 4: mom around, you're gonna have to watch a few episodes 404 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:06,440 Speaker 4: of dexter to figure that one out. 405 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:07,120 Speaker 2: Uh. 406 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:12,400 Speaker 1: Oh, it took me a while to gather my thoughts. 407 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,640 Speaker 1: But after a few tense days, I sat my boyfriend 408 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:20,359 Speaker 1: down and recounted to him every horrible thing that she 409 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 1: said to me. I pressed him on why he didn't 410 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,920 Speaker 1: chime in when she lied about things that we both 411 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 1: had previously agreed did not happen, and when she was 412 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,679 Speaker 1: being condescending towards me. 413 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 3: Oh, he's probably max chubbing right now. 414 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 2: Dude. 415 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,199 Speaker 4: He's like, Oh, she's getting onto me. I can't do 416 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,720 Speaker 4: anything but just sit here and take it. 417 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,679 Speaker 1: He admitted that he had felt he needed to be 418 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:44,879 Speaker 1: a neutral party in the conversation. This is not the 419 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,000 Speaker 1: time to be Switzerland, my brother in Christ. 420 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,359 Speaker 2: Pick up for your girl, your gold. 421 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 1: You can't be Switzerland when your own mother is a 422 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:53,720 Speaker 1: nuclear bomb. 423 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:54,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't be that. 424 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:56,160 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 425 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,399 Speaker 1: I reminded him that I walked into this conversation in 426 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,240 Speaker 1: good faith that this was to clear up communications, and 427 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 1: instead I felt like it was his family versus me 428 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:10,479 Speaker 1: having to defend my character while being interrupted insulted in 429 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:11,160 Speaker 1: gas lit. 430 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, I can't imagine if I was to have 431 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:19,440 Speaker 2: a girlfriend and be in a situation like this, where 432 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,959 Speaker 2: like my family is going after this person, and like 433 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,399 Speaker 2: everyone was going after them, I would I feel like 434 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 2: the natural thing would be to like protect the person 435 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:30,800 Speaker 2: who is being persecuted. You know that you ate supposedly love. 436 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,879 Speaker 1: I point blank told him that I nearly broke up 437 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,720 Speaker 1: with him that night and every day since. But my 438 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 1: friends have talked to me off the ledge because they 439 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:44,160 Speaker 1: acknowledge that we have something very special. I also point 440 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,240 Speaker 1: blank told him a lot of point blanks here that 441 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:50,040 Speaker 1: I had three non negotiable boundaries that I now needed 442 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:50,439 Speaker 1: to set in. 443 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:51,639 Speaker 3: Place for my mental health. 444 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,399 Speaker 1: Boundary number one, he needed to go to therapy, and 445 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: his first appointment had to be in the next three weeks, 446 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 1: or I would end the relationship we are. 447 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 3: This is a contract. 448 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 2: Als, Yeah, I love how concrete and time sensitive these 449 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:08,120 Speaker 2: ass are. 450 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:13,040 Speaker 1: Indeed absolutely number Boundary number two, he had one year 451 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,119 Speaker 1: to learn how to set boundaries with his family and 452 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 1: stand up for me when I am there and when 453 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,800 Speaker 1: I am not, or I would end the relationship. And finally, 454 00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 1: boundary number three, I would never speak to his mom 455 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,679 Speaker 1: again unless she apologized for the way she treated me, 456 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 1: and even then I would not spend prolonged time with her, 457 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,879 Speaker 1: or interact with her closely. 458 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 2: These are great boundaries. These are great boundaries. 459 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:44,359 Speaker 1: We are laying it down explicitly and expetitiously. 460 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I love to see it. 461 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:49,879 Speaker 1: He had since attended therapy regularly, where his therapist has 462 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 1: expressed his mom has an emotionally, an emotionally gross and 463 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:58,200 Speaker 1: too close, spicy, sepually relationship towards him. 464 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, hey, you got We're all. 465 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,360 Speaker 3: Like you, Sam. I can't believe he said that. 466 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 2: Well, guess who agrees with me, the freaking therapist. 467 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:06,920 Speaker 3: Therapist. 468 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I'm not saying certified I'm a therapist, but 469 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,720 Speaker 2: I am. But I I mean the proof is in 470 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 2: the pudding because from a. 471 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,680 Speaker 3: Young age, she began to place the emotional. 472 00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:22,440 Speaker 1: Responsibilities of a partner on my boyfriend because his dad 473 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,960 Speaker 1: wasn't meeting them in therapy, which I'm guessing means that 474 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:29,159 Speaker 1: he's so far agreed to the three boundaries, but in 475 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 1: therapy has begun to recall a lot about his childhood 476 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,160 Speaker 1: he repressed, like the fact that she would often vent 477 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:38,400 Speaker 1: to him and expose him to very adult topics from 478 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:39,360 Speaker 1: a young age. 479 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:43,280 Speaker 3: She also asked him to make adult decisions. 480 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,919 Speaker 1: For her, like how he felt about her divorcing her 481 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,920 Speaker 1: husband his dad, or the know, what do. 482 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,639 Speaker 2: You think about this guy? Yeah? I think I think 483 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 2: he's good. He's good for me. I know he's your dad, 484 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 2: but like, yeah, come on, you know, I feel. 485 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,760 Speaker 3: Like I should leave him for a much much better man. 486 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, much younger man, someone I have much more in 487 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 2: common with. 488 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,880 Speaker 3: Someone should say fifty, my DNA. 489 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,240 Speaker 2: I hate this. I hate this. I'm stopping it. I 490 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,160 Speaker 2: hate it. I can't even believe I just I contributed 491 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:11,520 Speaker 2: to that. 492 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,440 Speaker 3: Bit, and I love them so much. 493 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:17,800 Speaker 1: I wanted to be fifty, like how he felt about 494 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:20,840 Speaker 1: her divorcing her husband's dad, or the financial burden of 495 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,919 Speaker 1: their very expensive schooling, asking him if he would be 496 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,679 Speaker 1: okay with being pulled out his senior year to be 497 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 1: transferred to public school. Additionally, his parents made passive aggressive 498 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:35,000 Speaker 1: comments about race, such as his mom stating her disgust 499 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,960 Speaker 1: for people of color being with white women. 500 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,200 Speaker 3: Turns there it faking, is. 501 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 2: Oh sopop of everything what we just had that was 502 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,919 Speaker 2: already grows. We're slapping on racism. 503 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:51,840 Speaker 3: Racist. 504 00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 2: This is a multi layered dip and I don't want 505 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 2: any of this time out. 506 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,600 Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, But didn't she say earlier that she 507 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 4: doesn't lie people being taught by people from the South, 508 00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:04,080 Speaker 4: like teachers from the south. 509 00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:08,040 Speaker 2: Was that a story that happened in this story, that happened. 510 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:11,720 Speaker 4: In this story, Yet we're doing other things like people 511 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:12,240 Speaker 4: of the South do. 512 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,960 Speaker 1: And his dad saying he's glad his son shows the 513 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:20,920 Speaker 1: quote unquote will write kind of white to date when 514 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,560 Speaker 1: he began, when he began dating one of his exes 515 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:24,800 Speaker 1: who was Europeans. 516 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 3: They are wow. 517 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:33,639 Speaker 1: His parents were also very cold, distant and uninviting to 518 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,720 Speaker 1: his friends and girlfriends. 519 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, they want to keep that blood pure. 520 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,800 Speaker 3: A little bit too pure at this point. 521 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,240 Speaker 1: It's like, bro, not only not only do I need 522 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:45,640 Speaker 1: to cut off your parents. 523 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,159 Speaker 2: But you need to cut off This is yucky, yucky. 524 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,160 Speaker 2: They are yucky beyond repair. 525 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,879 Speaker 1: They also I've talked a lot about the night my 526 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 1: boyfriend let his mom braate me in Starbucks for three 527 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 1: hours and how wildly inappropriate her behavior and him allowing 528 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 1: it ones. 529 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,600 Speaker 2: You know, you go to Starbucks for coffee, not to 530 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,280 Speaker 2: overhear tea. You know, dude, my god. 531 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,920 Speaker 1: Since then, he has apologized on many occasions, saying more 532 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 1: than once It's one of the biggest regrets of his 533 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 1: life and the biggest mistake he has ever made in 534 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:18,760 Speaker 1: our relationship. 535 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:19,879 Speaker 2: You can say that again. 536 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,520 Speaker 1: He has also tried repeatedly to set boundaries with his 537 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,840 Speaker 1: parents and talk to them about the inappropriate things they 538 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 1: have said and continue to say. However, the conversations always 539 00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,520 Speaker 1: fall apart, usually with them beginning to gaslight him, making 540 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,919 Speaker 1: excuses for their behavior, changing the topic, and pretending they 541 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:41,920 Speaker 1: don't understand the very simple things he is asking them. 542 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:48,240 Speaker 3: They just keep breaking my walls. Dude, Riley, Riley, you're you're, you're, you're, you're, 543 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 3: You're about to go to the time out corner. 544 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,920 Speaker 1: Okay, oh my god, Okay, we're just gonna pretend like 545 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,560 Speaker 1: Riley did just say that. So, for example, his mom 546 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,159 Speaker 1: tried to say I was trying to control her and 547 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:04,679 Speaker 1: showed the text, show the text that he has helped 548 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,760 Speaker 1: me right where I was saying, I hope going forward 549 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,280 Speaker 1: we can be respectful towards each other as a proof, 550 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,320 Speaker 1: and therefore I wasn't going to allow her to see 551 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:19,359 Speaker 1: her grandchildren. There was never a mention of grandchildren in 552 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:22,399 Speaker 1: that whole text. Another time, when he tried to speak 553 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,399 Speaker 1: with her about how she had spoken to me. She 554 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 1: claimed it was his fault. It was his fault she 555 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:31,399 Speaker 1: treated me so poorly because she didn't know she needed 556 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,359 Speaker 1: to be nice to me, because she thought I was 557 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:35,160 Speaker 1: just some chick. 558 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:36,320 Speaker 3: He was hooking up. 559 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:40,679 Speaker 2: With some fluozy. Wait, so any person your son's not 560 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,200 Speaker 2: hooking up with your automatic, like any person your son 561 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,360 Speaker 2: is hooking up with, you're just going to be mean 562 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,359 Speaker 2: to out of jealousy. Out of jealousy. She's like, I 563 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:51,040 Speaker 2: wish so was me. 564 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,520 Speaker 3: This man cannot have a wife or a girlfriend. 565 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:59,160 Speaker 2: Or partner because this whole dynamic is the. 566 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 4: Mom is literally not going like his mom is the 567 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:03,960 Speaker 4: only woman he'll ever need. 568 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,920 Speaker 1: Though, instead of bringing up how his dad had been 569 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:11,000 Speaker 1: horrible to her throughout their marriage, describing in detail his 570 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:15,040 Speaker 1: repeated infidelities, among other things, his father, at one point, 571 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,680 Speaker 1: completely unprompted, asked my boyfriend to move in with him 572 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 1: if he got selected to pass her a church with 573 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,920 Speaker 1: an attached home, random and began talking about how much 574 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,840 Speaker 1: of a mistake it was for him to move in 575 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 1: with his wife when he was my boyfriend's age. When 576 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,560 Speaker 1: my boyfriend confronted him about this, his dad his dad 577 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:40,600 Speaker 1: saying my boyfriend was single and also would have offered 578 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: his brother the same thing. His brother, who has been 579 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,920 Speaker 1: unemployed for almost a year and was financially stressed, don't 580 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,760 Speaker 1: recall being offered the same thing. Oddly enough, my boyfriend 581 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 1: then said that he didn't want to be referred to 582 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:56,160 Speaker 1: as single, to which his dad said he was a 583 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 1: biblically single. 584 00:28:58,080 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 2: That's kind of funny, though, m. 585 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,160 Speaker 3: And so he would do so regardless. 586 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:08,240 Speaker 1: So basically, shut the freak up, son, you freaking little idiot, 587 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:14,000 Speaker 1: freaking virgin. He is visibly exasperated with the conversations, often 588 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:17,440 Speaker 1: dreading to have interactions with his parents, and has begun 589 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,560 Speaker 1: seeing them less and less. This is painful for me 590 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,080 Speaker 1: to see because I don't want him to not have 591 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 1: a relationship with them, but also I know that I 592 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 1: cannot have a relationship with them without something changing. And 593 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 1: my bigger concern is that if we have children, they 594 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:38,240 Speaker 1: would see this behavior and think it is okay. That 595 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,640 Speaker 1: is a great point. The kids will pick up from 596 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:45,480 Speaker 1: old granny over here. It's one thing for them to 597 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,800 Speaker 1: traumatize me. But I have told my boyfriend I am 598 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 1: not okay with traumatizing our children. I know all of 599 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,800 Speaker 1: this is making him feel torn, and often when we 600 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 1: try to talk about it and how toxic some of 601 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,360 Speaker 1: their behavior is, he gets so in trying to defend 602 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 1: their character. I don't feel truly hurt. My friends think 603 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,600 Speaker 1: he has worked really hard to grow these last ten months, 604 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,920 Speaker 1: and he has already made some big changes and wants 605 00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,240 Speaker 1: to continue to do better so that I feel safe 606 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:16,440 Speaker 1: around his family. However, my therapist has pointed out this 607 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 1: might be a bigger issue further down the road and 608 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,640 Speaker 1: has asked me if he has changed enough for me 609 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 1: to consider next steps with him. Originally, we planned on 610 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,920 Speaker 1: getting engaged next spring, but things have been in a 611 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,280 Speaker 1: holding pattern for obvious reasons. 612 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,080 Speaker 3: At first, I felt like he At first, I. 613 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:38,240 Speaker 1: Was feeling like he had because his uncle expressed wanting 614 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 1: to sit down and have a conversation with us to 615 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 1: help improve my relationship with his mom, and my boyfriend 616 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,720 Speaker 1: had called him, and my boyfriend had called him and 617 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:51,440 Speaker 1: set boundaries. That strain had come from his mother's behavior, 618 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,880 Speaker 1: and I had already tried to mend that fence but 619 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:58,360 Speaker 1: was treated poorly and it would not happen again. However, 620 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,600 Speaker 1: I found out that this week end his uncle doesn't 621 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,440 Speaker 1: plan on his mom being there and instead just wants 622 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:08,960 Speaker 1: to share information about his mom to help us understand. 623 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:13,480 Speaker 2: Understand. What could you possibly want to understand about the mom? 624 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:18,320 Speaker 1: Well, maybe there's some big thing we do not know 625 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,200 Speaker 1: right now, maybe that even the boyfriend her son doesn't 626 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:25,040 Speaker 1: know that will shed a light on what is there will. 627 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:25,520 Speaker 3: Be going on in her. 628 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:31,360 Speaker 2: No way any more information could turn me into a 629 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:32,720 Speaker 2: supporter of this mom. 630 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I feel like we're about to see a 631 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,760 Speaker 4: really dark family secret. 632 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,720 Speaker 2: I don't know if I want to see that family secret. 633 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:44,520 Speaker 1: What if there was a a a brain changing leech 634 00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,560 Speaker 1: that leeches onto your brain and is like it's like 635 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 1: ratitudey pulling the hair, you know, it's like poking the 636 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:54,360 Speaker 1: different nerve receptors, and it's programming you to be a racist, 637 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:55,360 Speaker 1: insane maniac. 638 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,600 Speaker 2: I mean maybe maybe if that's the case. But unless 639 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,960 Speaker 2: there's a little ratitude making her racist, I really don't 640 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:03,040 Speaker 2: think I'm gonna forgive her. 641 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,560 Speaker 1: I straight up told my boyfriend that was triangulation, and 642 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:09,800 Speaker 1: I wasn't sure I wanted to have that conversation anymore. 643 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 1: He was devastated and said he felt like this was 644 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,880 Speaker 1: going to be his last hope, as he and his 645 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,920 Speaker 1: uncle had already acknowledged his mom's behavior will probably never change. 646 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,320 Speaker 1: I also found out that he talked to his dad 647 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:26,360 Speaker 1: again about his frustrations, yet still did not clearly set 648 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,120 Speaker 1: the boundary that he needed to be respectful towards our 649 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,120 Speaker 1: relationship and towards me. I got quiet at this point, 650 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,440 Speaker 1: and after a while he admitted he knew he had 651 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: dropped the ball, but honestly, at this point it all 652 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,640 Speaker 1: felt like too much. I told him I don't feel 653 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,040 Speaker 1: like rehashing the same conversation because there really wasn't anything 654 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,560 Speaker 1: less left for us to say for the millionth time, 655 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:51,520 Speaker 1: and I was tired. And if you're tired, you can 656 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,600 Speaker 1: tap our profile and join us live every weekday at 657 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 1: three pm PST, like we are right now. I think 658 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,720 Speaker 1: OPC said it perfectly when she said the line, Uh, 659 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,960 Speaker 1: why would we talk through this when it would just 660 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,080 Speaker 1: be like rehashing it for the millionth time and we 661 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:09,360 Speaker 1: know nothing's going to change. 662 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:10,720 Speaker 3: It is just a. 663 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,560 Speaker 2: Lost There's no information that we could get that would 664 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:17,360 Speaker 2: make this right. There's no information we could get that again, 665 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:21,360 Speaker 2: unless it's the racist ratitude controlling this, this motherlike strategy. 666 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:24,400 Speaker 2: I don't. I don't think there's anything that we could 667 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,520 Speaker 2: get that would make me want to have a relationship 668 00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 2: with this person. 669 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 3: She has RRD racist rattue diseasease. That's it's a tough. 670 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 2: More and more people are affected every day. 671 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,280 Speaker 3: Dude, there's some fricking people freaking affected with it. 672 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:38,920 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah. 673 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 3: Since then, things have been really tense between us. 674 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 1: I know, I said I would give him a year, 675 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,520 Speaker 1: and maybe I am not being fair getting upset when 676 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,680 Speaker 1: it hasn't when it hasn't been the full year, and 677 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,160 Speaker 1: he in fact has gone to therapy and has set 678 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,560 Speaker 1: boundaries with and to set boundaries with some of his family, 679 00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:58,120 Speaker 1: the ones who care to listen at least, it is 680 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,800 Speaker 1: so much more for someone to process and over comedy year. 681 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,840 Speaker 1: He's just seeing for the first time how toxic many 682 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,440 Speaker 1: of his family's patterns are, and it's still navigating on 683 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 1: how to put a stop to it. He hasn't technically 684 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:10,920 Speaker 1: met my ultimatums, so I should be grateful for the 685 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,040 Speaker 1: progress I do see. Are my expectations too high? Am 686 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:17,360 Speaker 1: I unreasonable for being the a whole? That's it of 687 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,359 Speaker 1: the story. We do not get a confirmation of if 688 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: she actually left the relationship or not. But you know what, 689 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:28,840 Speaker 1: I hope she I mean, we can only pray, We 690 00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:31,960 Speaker 1: can only pray, can only pray, We can only freaking 691 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,239 Speaker 1: can I ask you, Sam? Is this the worst mother 692 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,359 Speaker 1: in law in Okay storytime history? I think we might 693 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,120 Speaker 1: have finally met metal match here. 694 00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:44,040 Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I feel like most mother in laws are 695 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,680 Speaker 2: efing their their sons over, but this one's taken that 696 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:49,200 Speaker 2: a little bit further to. 697 00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:53,040 Speaker 3: A whole new level, a whole new meaning. What an 698 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:56,279 Speaker 3: episode this has been late, gentlemen, I'm speechless. 699 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,040 Speaker 2: I really don't like it. I don't really like it. 700 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:03,680 Speaker 2: Kimberly finds as people like this suck across the board 701 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:07,799 Speaker 2: outside of their positional authority. All it takes is a 702 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 2: little time to come around with parents. You have to 703 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:14,360 Speaker 2: unlearn the only thing you've known since birth. True. 704 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sorry. There's just no hope in them changing. 705 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:22,319 Speaker 2: Sassy says, Can we have a wholesome story? Now? Yeah? 706 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,879 Speaker 2: This was we have been doing. We have been doing 707 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:33,680 Speaker 2: more wholesome stories. This one was not that. It was 708 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:38,640 Speaker 2: not that, but don't worry. Well there's more we have. 709 00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,239 Speaker 1: We have a little, a little quickie to close us out. 710 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 1: But ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, wholesome break. 711 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 3: Please please any good news fellas. 712 00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:52,480 Speaker 2: Wait wait, do we have an update on this? No? 713 00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,080 Speaker 4: Okay, they had a lot of comments. They were just 714 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:56,680 Speaker 4: ranting stuff. 715 00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:00,319 Speaker 2: But let's get into this next door ray. So