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Speaker 1: Okay, guys, I am officially on my High and Mighty tour.

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Speaker 1: March thirteenth, Cleveland, Ohio. March fourteenth Columbus, Ohio. March fifteenth, Cincinnati, Ohio,

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Speaker 1: and then March twentieth is Denver, Colorado. March twenty seventh, Portland, Maine.

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Speaker 1: March twenty eighth, Providence, Rhode Island. March twenty ninth, Springfield, Massachusetts.

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Speaker 1: April tenth is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater

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Speaker 1: in April eleventh. Indianapolis, Indiana. April twelfth, Louisville, Kentucky. April

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Speaker 1: sixteenth is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April seventeenth is Mesa, Arizona.

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Speaker 1: April twenty third is Kansas City, Missouri. April twenty fourth

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Speaker 1: is Saint Louis, Missouri. April twenty fifth is Minneapolis, Minnesota.

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Speaker 1: April thirtieth Nashville, Tennessee. May first is Charlotte, North Carolina.

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Speaker 1: May second is Durham, North Carolina. May sixth, I'm doing

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Speaker 1: Netflix as a joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles.

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Speaker 1: That is a new announcement, along with Atlantic City May fifteenth, Toga, California,

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Speaker 1: May sixteenth, Monterey California. May seventeenth Modesto, California, and then June.

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Speaker 2: Fourth Portchester, New York.

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Speaker 1: June fifth is Boston, mass And June twelfth is Portland, Oregon.

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Speaker 2: And then Seattle is June thirteenth, So suck on that. Everybody.

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Speaker 2: Go to Chelsea handler dot com for tickets. Hi Catherine,

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Speaker 2: Hi Chelsea. Where are the world are you right now?

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Speaker 1: I'm in Helsinki. Actually, it's funny you mentioned that I'm

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Speaker 1: in Helsinki, and I feel like I am in Russia.

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Speaker 2: It is a very gloomy day.

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Speaker 1: Not to confuse the finished people with Russians because that's

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Speaker 1: probably not welcome. We won't be problematic today and it

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Speaker 1: won't be problematic, but it is a very very gloomy

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Speaker 1: day in Helsinki. We came here for the night on

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Speaker 1: our way to another place, and it is something like

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Speaker 1: I all people do here is sauna and karaoke.

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Speaker 2: I mean that sounds like a good time.

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Speaker 1: I mean if they put this karaoke in the sauna,

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Speaker 1: I think that would be a better time.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely well, our guest today is very exciting.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I love him. He's one of my boyfriends.

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Speaker 1: You know him from Rescue Me. His longtime stand up

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Speaker 1: career and his new series, now in its second season

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Speaker 1: on Hulu, which is called Going Dutch something that I

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Speaker 1: never want to happen. Please welcome, actor, producer, and comedian

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Speaker 1: Dennis Leary.

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Speaker 4: How are you, Telsey? I'm good. Where are you?

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Speaker 2: Are you in a hotel room?

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Speaker 4: I am in a hotel room in downtown New York.

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Speaker 4: I hope because I'm shooting a bunch of stuff today.

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Speaker 4: So this is the you're show.

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Speaker 2: You're doing a podcast before you shoot your show.

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Speaker 4: No, I shot something this morning and then I'm doing

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Speaker 4: a round of press for my show. Okay, So for your.

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Speaker 2: Show, which is called Going Dutch.

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Speaker 4: Going Dutch on Fox and season two, Season two, People Too.

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Speaker 4: It's a half hour comedy. It's really funny. It's a

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Speaker 4: great cast. The girl plays my daughter is amazing, Taylor Michiak.

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Speaker 4: Danny Pooty from Commune is also one of my co

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Speaker 4: stars and my girlfriend this year in this season is

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Speaker 4: played by Kristin Johnston, who's brilliant.

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Speaker 2: Yes she is.

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Speaker 4: So that's it. Everything about the show is out of

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Speaker 4: the way. Okay, whatever the fuck you want to talk about.

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Speaker 1: I just want to make mention as part of the

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Speaker 1: plotline in this show you are you play a colonel

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Speaker 1: who gets well deported. Basically, yes, so very timely, very

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Speaker 1: very timely.

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Speaker 4: It's very timely. I get deported and I get sent

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Speaker 4: to Amsterdam because it's the most It's actually based on

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Speaker 4: a real base that got shut down, based in the Netherlands,

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Speaker 4: that literally was built to supply to do the laundry

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Speaker 4: for the other thirty two NATO basses in Europe and

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Speaker 4: to supply cheese and wine to those other bases.

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Speaker 2: Where do I know you don't drink anymore?

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Speaker 1: So what do you think is more important out of

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Speaker 1: those two responsibilities, the cheese and the wine or the laundry.

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Speaker 4: Okay, here's the fucking thing. Even when I drank because

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Speaker 4: I'm Irish, I hated fucking listen.

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Speaker 2: Listen. I still drink because I'm not Irish. But I

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Speaker 2: also hate fucking wine.

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Speaker 4: I am so sick. Wine is a boring drink.

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Speaker 1: And when people drink too much wine, especially red wine,

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Speaker 1: you look like a fucking jackass.

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Speaker 4: You a jackets number one number two. When you start

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Speaker 4: explaining to me all the things of the flavors in

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Speaker 4: this I don't want that's not good. I want to

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Speaker 4: gulp it. I'm not there for the fucking in the

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Speaker 4: historical information about how it was fucking bottled. Fuck you

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Speaker 4: you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: I went on a date with a guy. It was

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Speaker 1: It wasn't a date, well, I guess it was a date.

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Speaker 1: It was a blind date. I went to go meet

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Speaker 1: him at some bar in Santa Monica or hotel bar

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Speaker 1: in Santa Monica.

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Speaker 2: And I walked in and he had a glass of

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Speaker 2: chardonnay at.

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Speaker 1: Night, and he was also wearing a leather bomber jacket,

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Speaker 1: and so I had to leave. And then after the

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Speaker 1: first I would I have. I had a gin and soda,

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Speaker 1: he had a chardonnay. And after he goes, should we

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Speaker 1: get another round? I said no, this is it. I

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Speaker 1: said you should. I said you should get another one

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Speaker 1: because I'm leaving.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and get rid of the bomber jacket and start

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Speaker 4: drinking real boom.

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Speaker 2: What was your drink of choice when you were off

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Speaker 2: the wagon.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I'm so fucking irish, I'm sohi sky. I drank

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Speaker 4: whiskey and beer and mostly whiskey. And I drank my

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Speaker 4: whiskey straight and I fucking loved it. And sometimes I

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Speaker 4: would veer up in like in the summer, I would

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Speaker 4: have vodka maybe everywhere, but I was like, I was

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Speaker 4: so fucking irish and I had fucking two hollow legs

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Speaker 4: so I could drink like a fucking fish and nobody

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Speaker 4: ever saw me drunk because I'm fucking I'm so one

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Speaker 4: hundred percent of my parents are both from the same

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Speaker 4: village in Ireland, and you know my family, I'm from

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Speaker 4: Massachusetts on top of that, so it's like we still

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Speaker 4: drink up there, like it's nineteen fifty four, you know

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Speaker 4: what I mean, Like Jack Kennedy is in the Senate,

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Speaker 4: That's what. Like, there's no people are still drinking like

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Speaker 4: my family is. Beer is not alcohol. Beer is like water.

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Speaker 4: So you're just drinking beer all day, a lot of beer.

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Speaker 2: It's a sense of beer.

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Speaker 1: A lot of beer does taste like water, specifically like

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Speaker 1: cores light or make a little light like those light

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Speaker 1: beers taste like water.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know what the appeal is.

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Speaker 4: But the other thing is like even with guinness, my mother,

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Speaker 4: God rest your soult. You just passed away this year

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Speaker 4: ninety eight. Wow, she was like guinness was protein. Guinness

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Speaker 4: was like if you were sick. The other whiskey was

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Speaker 4: Nikewi When I was growing up. They didn't they get

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Speaker 4: if you got sick, they gave you whiskey. They like

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Speaker 4: you go to bed when you're ange.

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Speaker 1: I still take whiskey when I have a little cough

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Speaker 1: because somebody told me that that works.

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Speaker 2: Or a fireball. I'll take a shot, a fireball, a whiskey.

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Speaker 4: What do you normally drink? What's your normal? Right now?

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Speaker 1: MIGHT have my own alcoholic drink. It's called Chelsea Handler's

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Speaker 1: vodka lemonade. So I drink a lot of that, and

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Speaker 1: those are nice and light. But when I'm out at

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Speaker 1: dinner and I have to order a cocktail, I get

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Speaker 1: a gin with a splash of soda. And in Canada,

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Speaker 1: which is where I live in the wintertime, you have

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Speaker 1: to get a double. Well you don't have to, but

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Speaker 1: I have to get a double because the shots are

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Speaker 1: here are like, you know, one little jigger, and I

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Speaker 1: like too. I want an American serving, so I get it.

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Speaker 1: Always get a double and then a splash of soda.

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Speaker 1: So mostly gin, but it's something to cut the gin

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Speaker 1: a little bit.

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Speaker 2: But not too much.

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Speaker 4: Well that's the you know that's hoping during the Karen

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Speaker 4: Reid trial when people were so shocked that she was

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Speaker 4: in a bar with their friends and they would order

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Speaker 4: drinks and then order two extra double shots of Vike

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Speaker 4: on the side to pour into the race because that

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Speaker 4: you don't put in, they're not putting enough booze it.

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Speaker 4: I remember that, right, you know? From drinking. Yeah, like

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Speaker 4: at a bar, you almost need to bring your own

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Speaker 4: backup bottle so that you can fill.

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Speaker 1: Right, it's called a flask basically, right, that's what we're

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Speaker 1: talking about.

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Speaker 4: I never I never carried a floor.

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Speaker 2: You look great, dentnis, I mean you do, Yeah, you do.

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Speaker 2: You look good. You look fresh.

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Speaker 4: I mean, you're crazy, You're.

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Speaker 1: Almost I don't know if you're gonna have a problem

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Speaker 1: with me saying this on the air, but you're you're

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Speaker 1: going to be seventy years old soon.

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Speaker 4: I know. It's unbelievable.

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Speaker 2: And then what happens.

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Speaker 4: And I smoked like five packs a day until like

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Speaker 4: five years ago. It's crazy.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe you were able to quit smoking on

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Speaker 2: top of it. That is very impressive.

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Speaker 4: Do you want to hear I'm going to make it

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Speaker 4: very angry now, and a lot of my friends are

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Speaker 4: already angry and I'm just telling you. It's not bragging,

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Speaker 4: it's just the truth. I never fucking intended to quit smoking.

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Speaker 4: I loved fucking smoke. I fucking loved it. And then, uh,

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Speaker 4: my kids asked me, my wife asked me, my mother asked.

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Speaker 4: I was like, I'm just never gonna do it. And

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Speaker 4: I was outside, like in the summertime, like five years ago,

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Speaker 4: and I went outside to smoke a cigarette. And I

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Speaker 4: smoked a cigarette and literally at the end of that cigarette,

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Speaker 4: and they went, nah, I think I'm done, And I

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Speaker 4: was like, ah, that's bullshit. So I got up the

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Speaker 4: next morning, I had a full pack. I went three

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Speaker 4: days and finally my wife said, Hey, what's going on.

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Speaker 4: Are you not smoking? And I was like, yeah, I

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Speaker 4: think I quit and I fucking quit.

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Speaker 2: What you just got that?

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Speaker 4: No, it's so fucking step.

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Speaker 1: You just got the egg, Like Catherine said, I like that,

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Speaker 1: you got the eck from cigarettes.

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Speaker 4: It's unbelievable. And I've never gone back. That is crazy,

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Speaker 4: I mean crazy. I have no explanations.

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Speaker 1: I've had similar experiences with things where I'm just like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm done now.

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Speaker 2: But for most people, what uh people.

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Speaker 4: Men, mostly men?

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Speaker 2: Cigarettes?

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Speaker 1: I like, I quit for ten years, I got hypnotized

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Speaker 1: and I quit. But I was never very a crazy smoker.

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Speaker 1: I smoked when I drank, but then I drank all

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Speaker 1: the time, So then I smoked all the time. But

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Speaker 1: then I just curtailed my behavior, you know, like I

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Speaker 1: just had a revamp. I was like, all right, listen, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to have to quit either one of

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Speaker 1: these things ever, so just dial it all back and

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Speaker 1: just regroup and recalibrate.

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Speaker 2: And I'm pretty good at that in my life.

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Speaker 1: So I went through a period of like ten years

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Speaker 1: where I drank, but I did not smoke one cigarette.

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Speaker 1: And I just didn't drink as much as that would

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Speaker 1: get me into trouble. And I didn't do any drugs

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Speaker 1: that would make me want to smoke, because that was

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Speaker 1: usually the gateway for me.

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Speaker 4: What was the gateway like weed?

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Speaker 1: No, just like you know, tripping or anything, any substance

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Speaker 1: makes you want to just take it up notch.

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Speaker 2: So I quit drink.

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Speaker 1: I quit smoking, and then I was in Europe and

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Speaker 1: people were smoking there like it was just you know,

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Speaker 1: had just been invented.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, or people smoking in Europe?

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Speaker 2: Are you?

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Speaker 1: And then I was like, well, Okay, I guess you

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Speaker 1: can't get cancer over here. And then I had a

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Speaker 1: couple of cigarettes on vacation in Europe, and I remember

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Speaker 1: coming back and being disgusted with myself.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, who do you think you are? You're in

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Speaker 2: your forties at the time, I was in my forties.

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Speaker 1: I'm now fifty, and I was like, you just can't

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Speaker 1: smoke like that, like your skin everything, You're looking old like.

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Speaker 2: It's a vanity thing more than anything.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 1: Of course, it's a hell thing, but first and foremost

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Speaker 1: for me, it was a vanity thing. So I dabble

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Speaker 1: once in a while, but I don't really smoke cigarettes,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. If I'm in Vegas and

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Speaker 1: we're gambling and somebody has a cigarette and I'm lit enough,

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Speaker 1: I will have a cigarette, but as soon as I

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Speaker 1: take a puff, I'm like, why did I do that?

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Speaker 2: It's disgusting.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I'm me. I fucking love them.

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Speaker 2: But I mean I liked your I liked your your

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Speaker 2: hero story.

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Speaker 4: It's I don't think of it as a hero or

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Speaker 4: chamvia story because I can't. I can't. I'm not. It's

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Speaker 4: not that I'm I'm glad I quit smoke.

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Speaker 2: You don't feel victorious.

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Speaker 4: I just felt like, I literally I'm such a fucking

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Speaker 4: addictive personality. Yeah that I just was like, oh my brain.

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Speaker 4: Without even telling me, he was like, all right, so

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Speaker 4: that we're done. Now, this was the last one. And

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Speaker 4: you know Colin Quinn and all these friends of mine

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Speaker 4: that quit smoking over and over. I had a great

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Speaker 4: friend of mine, Adam Roth, was my guitar player in

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Speaker 4: my show band. But he was a famous guitar player.

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Speaker 4: He was in the Jim Carroll band, and he was

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Speaker 4: in the del Foy Goes. He was every at one

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Speaker 4: point in his life. He was everything. When he was

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Speaker 4: in the Jim Carroll band, they were all speedball junkies.

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Speaker 4: They smoked, they drank, they shot speedballs. That's what they did.

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Speaker 2: And that's coke and heroin, right.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. So he was addicted to everything and then pills

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Speaker 4: and then he quit everything and he said the hardest

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Speaker 4: thing for me to quit was the cigarettes, and he did.

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Speaker 4: Throughout his life, he kept going back to the cigarettes.

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Speaker 4: So I just thought like, based on his experience, I'm

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Speaker 4: never gonna quit. It's too hard to quit. Not gonna quit,

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Speaker 4: And so I think I can't take any credit for it.

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Speaker 4: Some part of my brain went, you're done.

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Speaker 1: I wonder how common that is that people actually just

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Speaker 1: quit doing something because they have just reached the end

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Speaker 1: of their rope. And it's not even really doesn't sound

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Speaker 1: like a rope. It's just like I'm no longer interested

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Speaker 1: in doing this.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and I listen, I did a lot of it,

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Speaker 4: So it's not like I believe I believe you. I

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Speaker 4: jerk off a lot. I haven't quit that.

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Speaker 2: I believe that too.

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Speaker 1: You've been married for forty four years, so I'm sure

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of masturbating happening because I'm sure your

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Speaker 1: wife is so sick of your shit.

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Speaker 4: My wife was sick of my shit two years into

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Speaker 4: the race.

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Speaker 2: I believe that too.

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Speaker 4: And here we are forty something four years.

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Speaker 2: You've been married, Dennis Leary, forty four years.

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Speaker 4: That's amazing. We've only been married. We've only been married.

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Speaker 4: We would live together for seven years before we got married.

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Speaker 4: So I don't know what the math is because that's

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Speaker 4: not what I majored in.

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Speaker 2: Forty four minus seven.

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Speaker 4: Neither one of us is a math.

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Speaker 2: Fake thirty seven?

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Speaker 4: How many put you that out?

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure seven plus four is eleven, so seven, I.

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Speaker 4: Guess that forty four seven thirty seven, seven thirty seven,

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Speaker 4: so I've been married for thirty seven years.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, But you know what, I want to say something

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Speaker 1: about your age. First of all, because being married for

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Speaker 1: for that long as a feet and yeah, your wife

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Speaker 1: is probably she's probably got a lot to say about it.

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Speaker 1: But I also want to say about men your age.

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Speaker 1: You know, sometimes when men get older, not sometimes a

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Speaker 1: lot of times, when men get older, they start to

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Speaker 1: transition into a woman.

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Speaker 2: They start to look a little bit softer.

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Speaker 1: Around the edges, and they turn into sort of, you know,

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Speaker 1: a fembot if you will. Yes, And I've seen a

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Speaker 1: lot of older men. I guess it's the testosterone. You

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Speaker 1: lose the testosterone, And I guess I don't know are

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Speaker 1: men taking estrogen because it looks like it, But you

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Speaker 1: don't look like you're turning into a full blown woman.

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Speaker 1: I just want to say that.

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Speaker 4: Well, listen, I just want to say this. I think

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Speaker 4: men do tend to start to look like aging lesbians

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Speaker 4: at a certain point. I was just hanging out with

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Speaker 4: Conan recently, and do you think.

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Speaker 2: Conan is starting to look like an aging lesbian?

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Speaker 4: Conan is self proclaimed looks like an aging conan.

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Speaker 1: Has been a proclaimed lesbian for since I've met him,

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Speaker 1: since i've yes, and I'm sure you've known.

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Speaker 4: Him though i've known him. Well, you know he's my cousin, right,

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Speaker 4: which is weird.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I did know that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's like he's my fourth cousin. But listen,

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Speaker 4: the thing about there's nothing you can do about it

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Speaker 4: unless you're gonna have some kind of plastic surgery or

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Speaker 4: start shooting testosterone.

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Speaker 2: Have you had plastic surgery, Dennis?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 2: Fuck no, okay, because you look really good for seventy years.

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Speaker 4: Old, and I can't. I'm not fucking doing.

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Speaker 2: It, I know, but you never really know. Listen, you

334
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:30,120
Speaker 2: never know what you have patience for his plastic surgery.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you fucking go and get surgery and then you

336
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Speaker 4: got to recover. I don't have time for that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, okay, Well, so I don't.

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Speaker 4: Like here's my thing. Almost every guy, and you know,

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Speaker 4: you've probably had this experience with men where you go

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Speaker 4: you're like, you know, you're working with an actor and

341
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,280
Speaker 4: you go like, this is weird. This guy looks different

342
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Speaker 4: from the last time I saw right, And a lot

343
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,520
Speaker 4: of them don't know that too. But if you know

344
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Speaker 4: the guy long enough, he said, hey, did you do

345
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,760
Speaker 4: something to your faces? Like, oh yeah, I had a

346
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:58,280
Speaker 4: little bit of it. You don't you look you start

347
00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:01,080
Speaker 4: to look like you you look like a lesbian. At

348
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,080
Speaker 4: that point, you look like you know, you're not looking

349
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Speaker 4: like a man anymore. Your face is not aging. I

350
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Speaker 4: think for an actor and a comedian, like you know,

351
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Speaker 4: male comedian, get what are you doing? Right? Right?

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Speaker 1: And most men when I see a man, get plastic

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Speaker 1: surgery that you don't detect. You're like, you're supposed to

354
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Speaker 1: just look refreshed. You're not supposed to look like a woman,

355
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Speaker 1: or I mean it's some plastic surgeries. If you're transitioning,

356
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Speaker 1: I can't speak for anybody except way.

357
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Speaker 4: So, but yeah, you.

358
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Speaker 2: Can't speak for anyone that's transitioning, and.

359
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:33,240
Speaker 4: I can't speak I can't speak for a lot of people.

360
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,280
Speaker 4: I can't speak for anybody except Okay, great.

361
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Speaker 2: Great answer, great straight male answer. Let's go.

362
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,160
Speaker 4: But I will say this, if you're a fucking character actor, right,

363
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:44,280
Speaker 4: or you're a comedian, And in my case, I consider

364
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,320
Speaker 4: myself both like what what why would you not want

365
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,680
Speaker 4: to look? Whatever? The way is you're looking as you age,

366
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,520
Speaker 4: because that's part of what you're your truth that you're telling. Right,

367
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,520
Speaker 4: So it's weird. It's fucking weird.

368
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Speaker 2: And how's your hair doing? Your hair looks beautiful and bounty.

369
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,720
Speaker 4: No, I get it's it's genetic.

370
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,920
Speaker 2: I mean, you really do have good genes.

371
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,160
Speaker 4: Well, here's the thing.

372
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Speaker 2: I don't think I've been more attracted to.

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Speaker 4: You nifty and it's all zoom.

374
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,640
Speaker 1: But I'm always a little attracted to you because I've

375
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,840
Speaker 1: told you that my sister has a huge crush on you,

376
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,800
Speaker 1: and by osmosis, I've always she's always pushed me in

377
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:16,360
Speaker 1: your direction.

378
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,400
Speaker 2: Have Dennis Leary on talk to Dennis Leary.

379
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:22,240
Speaker 4: I love sister. Your sister is so fucking smart and

380
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,600
Speaker 4: she has such great taste in that I always said

381
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:25,040
Speaker 4: that about it.

382
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:27,880
Speaker 1: Here's my next question. Why are you I thought you

383
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,840
Speaker 1: moved to New York. Why are you in a hotel room?

384
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,720
Speaker 4: Oh it's a long story.

385
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,200
Speaker 2: But I bet I know the answer.

386
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,200
Speaker 1: Your wife doesn't want you around when you're doing press

387
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,280
Speaker 1: because you're too annoying talking about yourself all day.

388
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,320
Speaker 4: Probably my wife has write, she's a writer, so she's

389
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,240
Speaker 4: working on her book. She does not want me around.

390
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,680
Speaker 4: Even if I'm in the same place with her, she

391
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,960
Speaker 4: doesn't want to see me until except in the morning

392
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,280
Speaker 4: and what she's done writing in the afternoon. And that's

393
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:54,040
Speaker 4: basically it. Maybe we watch something together, it's we have

394
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 4: the relationship. Pigure it out. No, I'm just I'm doing

395
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,600
Speaker 4: such crazy amount of press these last three days that

396
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:03,360
Speaker 4: I'm in. This is very convenient because it's it's between

397
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:04,280
Speaker 4: two places I have to be.

398
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,240
Speaker 1: And it's also great for your sleepwalking, because if you

399
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,440
Speaker 1: sleepwalk in a hotel room like it's only you're only

400
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,399
Speaker 1: going to injure yourself or you know, hopefully no one else.

401
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,280
Speaker 4: And the windows don't open up here.

402
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,200
Speaker 2: What happens with you when you sleepwalk at home?

403
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:15,399
Speaker 4: What?

404
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:16,720
Speaker 2: How often does this happen?

405
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,480
Speaker 4: Did we talk about this on your on the talk

406
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:20,200
Speaker 4: show one time?

407
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,840
Speaker 2: I don't remember, do we? You're the sober one you

408
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:23,520
Speaker 2: would remember.

409
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,359
Speaker 1: I don't remember if we talked about this, But I

410
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,520
Speaker 1: like it. I like the subject of sleepwalking.

411
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:32,240
Speaker 4: I haven't remembered a sleepwalking experience in a few years now,

412
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 4: so that means.

413
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:33,960
Speaker 2: You're in the clear.

414
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,359
Speaker 1: Maybe you just got ricked out by sleepwalking too, and

415
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:37,159
Speaker 1: we're like, forget it.

416
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,040
Speaker 2: I'm done with you too. Maybe the smoking was causing it.

417
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:45,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh, that would be a fascinating medical correlation if

418
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,640
Speaker 1: you quit smoking and that ended your sleepwalking.

419
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:49,640
Speaker 2: Wow.

420
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,240
Speaker 4: Wow, I'd have to I have to find out from

421
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:57,680
Speaker 4: Mike Perbiglia if that can happen for him. Mike pf Pamiliar.

422
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,200
Speaker 4: He wrote an entire show about it. Yeah, it's crazy, man,

423
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:05,960
Speaker 4: and I haven't Oh my god, it's like I still

424
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:10,480
Speaker 4: don't sleep on airplanes anymore because you know that Kardashian story, right, No, have.

425
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,200
Speaker 2: You been traveling with the Kardashians recently?

426
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,040
Speaker 4: I did. This is years ago, now, this is like

427
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:20,800
Speaker 4: almost probably it's got to be at least fifteen years ago.

428
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:21,600
Speaker 4: This happened.

429
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:21,840
Speaker 5: What?

430
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,200
Speaker 4: Ok long? Okay? So I thought I sleep walk. I've

431
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 4: always left the walk. So here's my worst thing I

432
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,960
Speaker 4: ever did when sleepwalking. I was taking a flight in

433
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,399
Speaker 4: New York to Los Angeles to publicize Rescue Me. So

434
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,160
Speaker 4: it was during Rescue Me, and I was doing Conan

435
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,399
Speaker 4: was the first show I was going to do the

436
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:39,960
Speaker 4: day that I land.

437
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:44,000
Speaker 1: Because he's your first, because he's your fourth cousin removed.

438
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,840
Speaker 4: Well, he was. This is how long ago it was.

439
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,199
Speaker 4: It was when I think it was when he was

440
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,439
Speaker 4: doing the Tonight Show. Okay, so that would have been

441
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:51,240
Speaker 4: whenever the fuck that.

442
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:52,920
Speaker 2: Was highlight of his career, I'm sure.

443
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:56,159
Speaker 4: Yeah, nine months, which is her story. Hard to remember. Anyways,

444
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,000
Speaker 4: He's he's never gotten over that. So I'm taking this

445
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 4: flight that I always take from New York to LA

446
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 4: which leaves first thing in the morning, six o'clock in

447
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 4: the morning. So when you get to the airport like

448
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,560
Speaker 4: four thirty or five, you know there's nobody there and

449
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,760
Speaker 4: first class is usually empty. So I get there, it's me,

450
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 4: Dave Franco, okay, or j Which one was the one

451
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 4: that was sexually had.

452
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 2: I think it was James is the one we don't

453
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:19,880
Speaker 2: talk about.

454
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:23,440
Speaker 1: Its more sexual, publicly sexual.

455
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,640
Speaker 2: I think cancelations situation.

456
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,120
Speaker 4: One was the more publicly sexual Franco.

457
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:34,359
Speaker 1: There's always a very publicly sexual one on the first

458
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 1: class flight from LAX to JFK or.

459
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,040
Speaker 4: There's usually a person on that first class flight in

460
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 4: show business who's teaching an acting class and molesting students,

461
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,639
Speaker 4: So I think I think in this case it was

462
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:52,440
Speaker 4: allegedly Anyways, so it's me, James Franco and the Kardashians

463
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,400
Speaker 4: show up on the flight, the first in the first

464
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 4: class last right, So and again this is me, I'm

465
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 4: so and I'm like, all right, I look at the

466
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,280
Speaker 4: Kardashians in my head, like look at them, and they again,

467
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,480
Speaker 4: to my credit, they did start bitching about the first

468
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 4: class lounge food, which was all really fresh, like just

469
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 4: put out eggs whatever. So I'm totally judgmental about them.

470
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 4: And this is when she was still Bruce Jenner, and

471
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 4: it was Bruce Jenner, the mom and a bunch of

472
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 4: the girls except not Kim and not Chloe. Okay, and

473
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 4: there was a bunch of girls and one boy. So

474
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,159
Speaker 4: I don't know all the Kardashians, but there was a

475
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,119
Speaker 4: bunch of the boys.

476
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:32,640
Speaker 2: Rob Kardashian.

477
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess.

478
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 2: So he's like the roy of our family. That's how

479
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,959
Speaker 2: I know his name. He definitely is.

480
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,200
Speaker 4: So we go, we get on the plane and again,

481
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,240
Speaker 4: like I do have I'm aware of the fact that

482
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,560
Speaker 4: at this point in my life that I have a

483
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 4: sleepwalking problem, but up to this point in my life,

484
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,199
Speaker 4: I had never slept, walk or did anything on a plane.

485
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:55,119
Speaker 4: Right now, here's the other side thing, because of rescue me.

486
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,200
Speaker 4: When there's an air marshal on a flight. They always

487
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,119
Speaker 4: kind of let me know, like, hey, you know, I'm

488
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,159
Speaker 4: a fan of rescue me and they usually give me

489
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,400
Speaker 4: a little pin, you know, or something connected to their

490
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 4: to their job to remind.

491
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 1: Our listeners who aren't familiar with rescue me. That was

492
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 1: a phenomenal show about firefighters fire yeah, that he started

493
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,919
Speaker 1: for many years at what a lot of Emmy's. It

494
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 1: was a very very well received and a very great show.

495
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,159
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it was. It was at that time still on.

496
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 4: That's what I was publicizing. I think, sayways, this guy

497
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,639
Speaker 4: comes up to me again. I could spot him. I

498
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 4: knew he was an air marshal before he told me.

499
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 4: He's like, I'm an air marshal, blah blah, and oh great,

500
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 4: nice to meet you. I'm on your flight. Great, get

501
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 4: on the plane. Kardashians are over the on that's one side.

502
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 4: I'm on the other side. There's nobody else, the Kardashians.

503
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,399
Speaker 4: James Franco was the only person in the middle, and

504
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 4: then me, I'm the only It's basically an empty first class.

505
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 4: So the air marshal goes, hey, you might have to

506
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 4: sit next to you and just talk to you. I

507
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:48,920
Speaker 4: was like, no, not at all, do you.

508
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 1: Typically like that kind of activity when you're on a

509
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,679
Speaker 1: plane talking to strangers, or did you make the exception

510
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 1: because it was an air marshal.

511
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 4: Because it's an air marshal, and you know, he's got

512
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 4: an interesting job. He's probably got some great right. So

513
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 4: now we sit down and the plane takes off and

514
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 4: we're talking for a little while, and then he kind

515
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 4: of he's he can't fall asleep, but he's you know,

516
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 4: the conversation is dying down. Before I know it, I

517
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 4: wake up because I have him trapped in the chair.

518
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 4: I'm standing over him. I have him his legs clenched

519
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 4: in between my legs, and I'm fucking hitting him in

520
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 4: the head and in the in the chest with a

521
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,960
Speaker 4: water bomb that has exploded. It's there's just water everywhere,

522
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:34,879
Speaker 4: and somebody is grabbing me from behind, and and Bruce

523
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,639
Speaker 4: Jenner is on the floor in the on the aisle,

524
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,639
Speaker 4: in my aisle, on the floor in a karate stance

525
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:44,359
Speaker 4: like he's about to attack me, like making karate noises,

526
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 4: and he's been tire of the Kardashian family over there.

527
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:52,200
Speaker 4: Everybody's going scared, and I'm like, and the air marsh

528
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 4: is going they try to grab my arms and screaming

529
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:58,119
Speaker 4: like what the fuck, man, what the I immediately know

530
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 4: that I've I've been asleep in a dream like sleepwalking,

531
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 4: but nobody else knows that. So I stop and I'm like,

532
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,120
Speaker 4: oh my god, I'm my god, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

533
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 4: I sleepwalk. I sleep walk, I like, I like yelling it,

534
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:14,119
Speaker 4: and everybody's like, oh my god. Everybody settles down. I'm like,

535
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, I sleepwalk. I should have told you guys.

536
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 4: Now they take us into the little you know, pants fit, Yeah,

537
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 4: not the cockpit, but the fucking the galley, and because

538
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,360
Speaker 4: his pants are fucking the crotch of his pants are

539
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 4: completely so he's completely so he's ripshit by the way,

540
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 4: as you can imagine, and so are the stewardesses. And

541
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm so sorry. So I go in the

542
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 4: galley with them, and one of them had a blow dryer,

543
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,360
Speaker 4: so they were plug in the blow drying and try

544
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 4: to blow dry his pants and I feel so bad.

545
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 4: And he's literally like, you fucking should tell people that

546
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 4: you have that problem, yeah, And I was like, I don't.

547
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,439
Speaker 4: I didn't plan on falling asleep. I'm so sorry. Whatever,

548
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 4: and I'm in my head, I'm like, the best part

549
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,400
Speaker 4: about this is, I know I slept like five hours

550
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 4: of the flight. I have like an hour left in

551
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 4: this flight.

552
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 1: And by the way, maybe the reason why you fell

553
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,919
Speaker 1: into such a deep slumber was because this man was

554
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:06,640
Speaker 1: talking to you.

555
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 4: Could be his own fault, you know what I mean.

556
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,680
Speaker 2: I mean, just why not repoint the finger back at him?

557
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 2: He didn't have good stories after all? I mean, why, yeah, why?

558
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 2: By the way, we react that way.

559
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 1: In your sleep to punched the many, we were a

560
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 1: bottle of water unless they were super annoying.

561
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 4: Super boring. Yeah. And by the way, we were twenty

562
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 4: minutes into the flight. There's still like another four oh

563
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,199
Speaker 4: oh god. And he and I had to sit by

564
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 4: my way. I went back out and sat by myself

565
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 4: with Bruce Jenner and the whole Jenner family like throwing

566
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 4: me looks, and even James Franco was like, what the fuck? Yeah,

567
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 4: you know, I mean this is pre sexual you know, scandals.

568
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 2: Right right now?

569
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 1: There were no sexual scandals before this happened, not one.

570
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,679
Speaker 4: So anyways, I got to La and I told I

571
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 4: told Brian Kylie is one of Conan's guys, is one

572
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 4: of his writers. It still is. And so I told Kylie,

573
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 4: you know what happened. He's like, you got to tell

574
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,639
Speaker 4: that story on the show one. I'm like, I'm not

575
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 4: fucking telling this story. And then when I got there,

576
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,160
Speaker 4: because it's the same day, Conan's like, if you don't

577
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 4: tell the story, I'm going to tell the story. So

578
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 4: I was like, so I told it on the air

579
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,920
Speaker 4: back whenever it was twenty ten, but now I do

580
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 4: not sleep on planes. I'll take a very brief, like

581
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 4: five minute nap, holding like an iPad or something that

582
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,439
Speaker 4: could fall, but I will not fall asleep.

583
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,920
Speaker 1: You know, they have those like straight jackets you can

584
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 1: get for yourself so that you can put your arms

585
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: around your own body, and it's kind of like it

586
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 1: works is two things. One to protect you from other

587
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,439
Speaker 1: people if you're a sleepwalker, and two you can kind

588
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 1: of hold yourself like a baby.

589
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 4: I'm really I'm not interested in holding myself.

590
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 1: But maybe that's like the kind of soothing you need.

591
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:47,719
Speaker 1: What if this goes all the way back to your

592
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,959
Speaker 1: childhood and you find out you were never held as

593
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 1: a baby and that's why you have these outbursts. First

594
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 1: of all, the chances of you doing that to anyone

595
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 1: other like the fact that you did it to an

596
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 1: air marshal, someone who's trained to actually deal.

597
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,880
Speaker 2: With this kind of beha of the odds.

598
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, exactly, because if that would have been a

599
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 1: real person, you would have been in a lot of trouble.

600
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 2: They would have probably pressed charges for assault.

601
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 4: Well, on top of which he could have killed me,

602
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 4: like with one like just with his like thumb and

603
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 4: forefinger if he wanted.

604
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm going up here.

605
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,159
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm coming on this flight to find terrorists,

606
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,639
Speaker 1: and what I'm dealing with is just an arrant.

607
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 2: Baby.

608
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:26,439
Speaker 1: Dennis Miller, Dennis Dennis Leary, Miller, Dennis Miller, Leary, I

609
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 1: was on.

610
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 4: A flight, That's what I told people.

611
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 2: By the way, I was like, I'm Dennis Miller for

612
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 2: this episode.

613
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 4: I like to say I would have said I would

614
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 4: have said, like, if he didn't know I was Dennis Lear,

615
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 4: I could have said I'm Willem Dafoe and passed off

616
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 4: Vin Baby.

617
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:39,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Kevin.

618
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 4: Jane Lynch.

619
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, Jane, Anybodyellen is a good comp for you.

620
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,679
Speaker 1: Jane Lynch, what about Yeah, you get confused with Willem

621
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 1: Dafoe A lot.

622
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,120
Speaker 4: Don't you all the all the time?

623
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 1: Who do you think I get confused with a lot?

624
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 4: I don't. I would think you're so original that you.

625
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 2: Thank you, Elizabeth Banks. I get confused with Elizabeth Yes, okay.

626
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:07,880
Speaker 1: Interesting And in my earlier years Jenny McCarthy and Pam Anderson,

627
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,719
Speaker 1: when I was really young and I was just boobies out,

628
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,399
Speaker 1: then it was really all about that.

629
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,120
Speaker 4: Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, like like, you're

630
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 4: not boobies out now, No, they're out.

631
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 1: But they're not free. I don't have my nipples exposed.

632
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 1: I don't do that kind of stuff anymore.

633
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 2: Really. I have nephews and they were picked out by it,

634
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:26,120
Speaker 2: and I'm fine.

635
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,399
Speaker 4: Yeah. I thank god there's no video of you like

636
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 4: naked scheme.

637
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Thank god that that's not out there.

638
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 4: Thank god that's not out there for those kids.

639
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 2: I have a sports question for you, Dennis.

640
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 1: I've recently got into betting on sports just so that

641
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 1: I can remain interested in professional basketball football games. And

642
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,240
Speaker 1: then I learned that these guys are throwing games, Like

643
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 1: there's all this stuff happening, right, Yeah, but they can throw,

644
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,160
Speaker 1: they can throw points and stuff and I'm like, wait,

645
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 1: why are we betting on things when we don't even

646
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,640
Speaker 1: know who's getting bribed. But as somebody who is such

647
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 1: a hardcore, know, massive Boston person, Okay, you were Inde

648
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 1: and now you're living in New York, how does that

649
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 1: impact your your loyalty to your sports teams?

650
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 4: Because ronal gamble at all.

651
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure you don't.

652
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 4: You can't, You're not, No, I just can't. You know,

653
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 4: when I was a kid, my brother, my older brother

654
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 4: was he ran a football ticket at one point when

655
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 4: we were in high school, and I was like, I

656
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 4: tried it, and I was like, I gave him like

657
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 4: twenty five bucks, which was a lot of fucking money

658
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 4: at that time, and he was like, yeah, you know,

659
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,639
Speaker 4: with this parlay, you could do this and this and nothing.

660
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,200
Speaker 4: I lost everything, and I was like, I'm not fucking

661
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 4: doing this. I'd rather set my money on fire. So

662
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 4: I'm not going to gamble. I have enough invested emotionally

663
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 4: in the fucking game.

664
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 2: So who is your team now?

665
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 4: Well, I'm all teams.

666
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't have any affinity towards the Knicks.

667
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 4: I have a soft spot for the Knicks because I

668
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 4: have so many friends in New York, and I think

669
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 4: when the Knicks are good, it's good for the entire

670
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 4: for all of basketball, right, But all the New York teams,

671
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 4: I have so many friends here in LA now I

672
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 4: have a sympathy for, Like, those teams need to be

673
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 4: good for all the difference sports those it's important to

674
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 4: have good teams in LA and New York. New York

675
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 4: doesn't make any sense to me. You have so much

676
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 4: fucking money. How can you have a bad team. How

677
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 4: can the Knicks be bad for now? They're good? They

678
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 4: need to win now, right, because they're actually set up

679
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 4: for that. I love Brunts and I think he's great,

680
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 4: So I don't know. I have a soft spot for

681
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 4: the news.

682
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 1: I went to the Knicks game a few weeks ago.

683
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 1: I bet some money on it. I was with a

684
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 1: new guy that I'm dating, and we won, and I

685
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 1: believe like the energy was in the right spot.

686
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 2: I was like, we're going to go to the game.

687
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 2: It's a home game, let's bet.

688
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 1: I mean, I wasn't my idea, let's be honest, But

689
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 1: I'm really into betting because that's the only way I

690
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 1: could pay attention to sports.

691
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 2: I'm just not interested otherwise.

692
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 4: But also, you're not a Knicks fan.

693
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 1: No, But I'm a New Yorker, like you know. At heart,

694
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 1: I'm from New Jersey and Knicks is my team. If

695
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 1: I had to choose a team, it would be the

696
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 1: New York Knicks. But I wouldn't say yes, I'm not

697
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 1: like some avid Knicks fan watching their you know, watching

698
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: their games all the time.

699
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 2: I don't want to falsely represent myself.

700
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,239
Speaker 4: You're not waking up in the morning and look at

701
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 4: the highlights of the game if you I.

702
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 2: Don't even know what site that was, you know what

703
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 2: I mean?

704
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,719
Speaker 4: Yeah? Okay, so I mean that's I do that, not

705
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 4: only with my teams if I miss the games, but

706
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 4: like I'm sports, I get up in the morning, I

707
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 4: watch Get Up, I watch stephen A you know time. Yeah. Yeah,

708
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 4: so you're I'm a fanatic.

709
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, Europe and are your kids too?

710
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 4: My son is my daughter got into football. My daughter

711
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 4: is a writer. But she got into football because when

712
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 4: they started doing the documentaries about the receivers and the quarterbacks,

713
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 4: and she got to see behind the scenes, like hard knocks,

714
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 4: like what she got emotionally invested in football. So now

715
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 4: she cares about football because of the stories behind you know,

716
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 4: behind the athletes.

717
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 1: Okay, we're going to get into the next portion of

718
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 1: this show, which is where we give advice to real

719
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 1: life callers. I'm sure you're going to be terrible at this,

720
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 1: but I want to ask you a question first.

721
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 4: Do you remember I'm really good at this? Yeah?

722
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 2: No, I bet you are.

723
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 4: You have too much.

724
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 1: Like if you have this much life experience and you're

725
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 1: not good at giving people feedback objectively, then there's bigger problems.

726
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 1: And since you got rid of all the main obstacles

727
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,239
Speaker 1: in your life that were preventing you from really I

728
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 1: guess sitting still and growing up, then I guess you're Yeah,

729
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:10,719
Speaker 1: you're prime.

730
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 2: But can you remember a.

731
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 1: Piece of either really good or really bad advice that

732
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 1: you've received.

733
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 2: Over the years?

734
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 4: Oh? Yeah, fuck yeah, what's a piece.

735
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 2: Of really bad advice that someone has given you?

736
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 4: Sid This nun sister Judith Kapanman was her name. She

737
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 4: was the fucking Spanish nun. I flunked. I fled a

738
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 4: lot of things when I was in high school because

739
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,800
Speaker 4: I only I could only care about the things I

740
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 4: was good at, which was smoking, drinking girls, that was

741
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 4: it so and being funny. So uh. She I'd flaunt

742
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 4: Spanish twice and the second time she said to me

743
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 4: I could still remember it. She was like, Leary, I'm

744
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 4: gonna pass you just so I can get you out

745
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 4: of this building, right And I was like, hold, okay, great,

746
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 4: Like is that a compliment? Yeah, that's what I thought,

747
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 4: And she goes, what are you going to do with yourself?

748
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 4: Nothing's going to you can't learn Spanish. You can't. You

749
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 4: don't apply yourself. You're never going to go anywhere. And

750
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, She's like, you need to learn Spanish,

751
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 4: and I was like, man, not really.

752
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: You don't need to learn Spanish for what you're gonna do.

753
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 1: That's space, that's for sure.

754
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:15,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

755
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that I've been learning

756
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 1: Spanish for about ten years and it's been a slow, role,

757
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 1: very slow, but it does feel good to.

758
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 2: Be able to communicate in a different language.

759
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 1: It makes me I felt like, for my life, I

760
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 1: don't want to go through this life not knowing another language.

761
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 1: I feel like America is already too stupid, you know

762
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like, out of respect for others, I

763
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 1: need to learn another language.

764
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 4: So how far along are you? About?

765
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 2: Ten years in of light Spanish.

766
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can have a conversation.

767
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can have a light conversation.

768
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 1: I can't have like a political conversation, and I can't.

769
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's not going to be sophisticated. But

770
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: I can get I can get it from point A

771
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: to point B. If you and I were dropped somewhere

772
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: and in the Canary Islands and I had to navigate

773
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 1: our way back to the port and get us on

774
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 1: a place lane without you talking to anyone, we would

775
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 1: get it done.

776
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 4: Okay, I got it. My wife speaks a little bit

777
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 4: of Spanish, so you probably speak it like her. Perhaps

778
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 4: perhaps listen, I know some Spanish.

779
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, calm down. It's not a competition. So I

780
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 1: asked you what the worst piece of advice is. That

781
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 1: wasn't the worst piece of advice. That was just someone

782
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: for rating you your teacher for being terrible at Spanish.

783
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 2: So that wasn't advice. That was kind of a reaction.

784
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, here's a great piece of advice that Andrew

785
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 4: Dice Clay gave me. When I first got famous. I

786
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 4: was doing a photo shoot for some fucking magazine. I

787
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 4: had just gotten famous. He's already famous, he's the Dice.

788
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 4: He's already he's been famous long enough that he had

789
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 4: the big thing where he hit and then he did

790
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 4: that movie and the movie bombed right Fort Fairlane The

791
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 4: Adventures of fo And by the way, I like Dice.

792
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 4: He's in a very nice guy. But I hadn't met

793
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 4: Dice at this point. So I was coming into the

794
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 4: photo shoot and he was just leaving, I guess from

795
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 4: having done it this lucky photographer YouTube back to back,

796
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 4: I know, back to back. Jesus, what a fucking a

797
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 4: couple of really fucking like Harvard graduates. Anyways, he goes

798
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 4: to me. I go, hey, man, it's really nice to

799
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 4: meet you. Bo. We had some mutual friends. And he's like, hey,

800
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 4: it's nice to meet you. Let me give you this

801
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 4: piece of advice. And I literally was like, okay, because

802
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 4: he's he's been. He goes forget the fucking movies. It's

803
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 4: no good, the acting is a dead end. Stick with

804
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 4: the comedy. And he goes walking down the stairs and

805
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,239
Speaker 4: I'm like, that's not What the fuck is that? What

806
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 4: kind of advice is that to give to a young

807
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 4: guy starting out. Yeah, So it was just reflective of

808
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 4: his experience at the time. That was terrible fucking advice.

809
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds like he was pissed about what happened

810
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 1: to him and had no Okay, well, let's forget about

811
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:46,760
Speaker 1: the bad advice then, and your mother just passed away.

812
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 1: What was something that she told you or that advice

813
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 1: that she gave you, or something that she had said

814
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 1: throughout her life that you listened to.

815
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,439
Speaker 4: She was an amazing woman. She came My parents came

816
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 4: here by boat, right, and they came here in nineteen

817
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 4: fifty from that woman. Yeah, from Ireland with very little education,

818
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 4: big huge families, the whole nine yeards, right, And my

819
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,319
Speaker 4: mother was like on the cutting. First of all, she

820
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 4: was the boss, like she really ran the house. My

821
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 4: dad was always working, but this woman literally was on

822
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:22,280
Speaker 4: the cutting as like civil rights, women's rights, gay rights

823
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 4: right down the line. She hated fucking Trump, She fucking

824
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 4: hated them. She felt like she had lived in this

825
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 4: country long enough to see everything happen in terms of

826
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 4: equal rights for people and women and everything. So she

827
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 4: thought saw what was happening with they were pulling the

828
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 4: country back to the way it was before she had

829
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,560
Speaker 4: even come here. But her whole thing was like the

830
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 4: reason that we came to America is that you kids

831
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 4: could be whatever you want, you know what I mean,

832
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 4: which is an amazing thing for an immigrant parent to

833
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 4: say to kids, which is just go, like, you want

834
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:56,839
Speaker 4: to go to college, Let's find a way to get

835
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 4: you to college. What do you want to be? Be

836
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 4: what you want to be because we didn't come here,

837
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 4: so you had to work, enslave and not enjoy what

838
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 4: you did for a living. And that's like that like

839
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:10,960
Speaker 4: for me to go go like her and my dad

840
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 4: when I was like seventeen, and go like, yeah, I

841
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 4: think I want to be an actor.

842
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

843
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,760
Speaker 4: The easiest thing would be to say what are you nuts?

844
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,319
Speaker 4: But instead they were like, okay, well let's figure out

845
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 4: how we could make that happen, which is crazy because

846
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 4: they didn't have money to send me to college. So

847
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 4: that's I always remembered that, which is it's such a

848
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 4: very stark, pure message, Like I say that to my

849
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 4: kids when they were growing up. I said, your grandparents

850
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 4: didn't come here so that you could end up not

851
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 4: doing something that you love.

852
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 1: It's interesting you say that because my mom was an

853
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,839
Speaker 1: immigrant also. She was from Germany and she married my dad,

854
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 1: who was not an immigrant, and when she came over

855
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 1: here like when I grew up, and I kind of

856
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 1: saw their dynamic and like how beholden she was to

857
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 1: him financially, and like, you know, all the responsibilities and

858
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 1: the finances were all taken care of by my father,

859
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:57,680
Speaker 1: and my mom was for the cooking and the cleaning

860
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 1: and the caretaking and everything. I just remember thinking, I

861
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 1: don't want to be dependent on a man, and my

862
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:06,800
Speaker 1: mom goes, You're so lucky that you have the option

863
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 1: to not have to deal with that, Like, you're so

864
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,399
Speaker 1: lucky that you're growing up in a country where you're

865
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:14,439
Speaker 1: able to pursue whatever dream that is imaginable.

866
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 2: And my dream was I didn't even know what my

867
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:17,799
Speaker 2: dream was.

868
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 1: I just wanted to be heard and seen, and you know,

869
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 1: it was pretty shallow to start with.

870
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 2: I just wanted to get out and to bloom.

871
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,759
Speaker 1: Like but what I've realized now after so many years,

872
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 1: is that I've made a living by being myself, Like

873
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 1: bye bye, by just being myself. Nobody ever said that

874
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,879
Speaker 1: was even an option growing up, right, And what many

875
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 1: of us do as comedians is to make money at

876
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 1: being ourselves. We're telling our stories, we're doing our thing

877
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 1: we're not putting on any acts or playing a character,

878
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 1: and that is really like unreal to think about.

879
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 4: Right.

880
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,359
Speaker 1: It really is like for my mom or your mom

881
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 1: to see you and how you operate through the world,

882
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 1: and then my mom the same thing. Watching us come

883
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: up and actually realize our dreams and pursue our dreams

884
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 1: must have been like, wow, you are you know, this

885
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 1: is a different generation. We get to watch them now

886
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 1: pursue the things that they care about instead of just surviving.

887
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 4: But here's the thing, Chelsea, and it's again. You can

888
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 4: tell us to people, young comedians or young actors, whatever,

889
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,760
Speaker 4: and they probably think it sounds empty because they've heard

890
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 4: cliched versions of it, But it's really true, which is

891
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 4: I learned that when I was very young, as I

892
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 4: think I was in acting school, when I saw an

893
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 4: interview with Richard Pryor, who was one of my I

894
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 4: think is the greatest comedian who ever lived, but he

895
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:38,760
Speaker 4: was one of my heroes as a comedy hero. He said.

896
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 4: When he made the transition from being on the Ed

897
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 4: Sullivan Show, a clean cut version of him so to

898
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 4: being the real Richard Pryor, he said, I wanted to

899
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 4: become the guy that was in the living room with

900
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 4: my friends that Richard pryor the real Richard Pride. I

901
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 4: wanted to get that on stage and you couldn't do

902
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 4: that in the sixties and get on television and so anyways,

903
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, that's what I want to do,

904
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 4: Like if I do stand up, I want to just

905
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,600
Speaker 4: be the guy that I am in the living room

906
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 4: with my friends. Well, once you if you just operate

907
00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 4: that way, if that's the truth you want to have,

908
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 4: that's what you did, you just get on stage and

909
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 4: you eventually work your way toward It's like you're it's

910
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 4: like having a conversation with Chelsea when you're in the audience, right,

911
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 4: because you can feel it's real. So so many people,

912
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 4: I mean you probably knew people like this too. I

913
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,800
Speaker 4: knew so many comedians who were so fucking funny off stage,

914
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 4: but then their act was like this middle yeah, yeah, yeah,

915
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 4: So what are you doing?

916
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 2: I don't know what that is. I don't know what

917
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 2: that I don't know what.

918
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 4: The fuck it's like. It's like, you know, you're I know,

919
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 4: I don't get it. I don't I don't get it.

920
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 4: So I think being authentic is the key. And again,

921
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 4: like our parents said, why would you do it any different?

922
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 5: You know?

923
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 4: Yeah?

924
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I guess because we have the freedom,

925
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 1: or we had the freedom. Hopefully the next generation will

926
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 1: also have the same freedom.

927
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:57,719
Speaker 4: Hey, is your mom still a lot?

928
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, she died with your mom. She died years ago.

929
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:03,919
Speaker 1: My dad, my mom died. I have no sense of time,

930
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 1: so she's been gone a long time, probably almost twenty years.

931
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 2: My mom has been dead.

932
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 4: How old was she when she died?

933
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,799
Speaker 1: Young? She was like sixty three, sixty seven, sixty three,

934
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 1: I can't remember.

935
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 4: Damn, man, that's young.

936
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, she had cancer.

937
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 1: And then my dad hung out forever and he was

938
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 1: a real well you couldn't wait for him to die.

939
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,800
Speaker 2: We were like, all right, let's wrap it up, wrap

940
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 2: it up.

941
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 1: We had to get he had so many issues with

942
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 1: all these old age homes that he was staying in.

943
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 1: He was sexually harassing the staff. He would grab people's butts.

944
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 1: We had to move him from one facility to the next,

945
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 1: and then we had to move him to a facility

946
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,800
Speaker 1: that only had men working, which is very hard to find,

947
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 1: you know, and aftercare in those kinds of facilities. Yeah,

948
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 1: so he was a hot mess. But my mom told

949
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,359
Speaker 1: us when she was dying. She's like, listen, watch out

950
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,400
Speaker 1: for your father because there's a lot of shit you

951
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 1: guys don't know. And as soon as I'm gone, he

952
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 1: will reveal himself. And it was two weeks, two weeks

953
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 1: after my mother died that my brother sent us a

954
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 1: family thread. There are five of us on our red

955
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 1: brothers and sisters, saying, I just walked into our old

956
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 1: house thirty five morning side Drive, living studient Jersey, and

957
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 1: I found Dad and his housekeeper, Lousette. Losette was completely

958
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:14,760
Speaker 1: nude cleaning the kitchen counter and Dad had his pants

959
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 1: around his ankles and was sitting on the couch masturbating.

960
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 2: That was two weeks after my mom passed away. So

961
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 2: you know, on that note, we're going to take a

962
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 2: break and.

963
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 4: We're going to be right back. So often we're going

964
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 4: to be.

965
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:33,800
Speaker 2: Right back with Dennis Leary. And we're back with Dennis

966
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:34,840
Speaker 2: Leary's here to perform.

967
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 4: Why God, that is so fun.

968
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:40,800
Speaker 1: His second season of Going Dutch, which is yeah, a

969
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 1: show where he plays a colonel and he it's a comedy.

970
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:45,879
Speaker 1: It's on Fox. It's in its seconds. You can also

971
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,320
Speaker 1: watch it on Hulu. By the way, Okay, so Dennis,

972
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 1: this it's am I saying Hulu wrong?

973
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:51,320
Speaker 4: Is it Ulu.

974
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 6: Ulu?

975
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 4: You could watch it on Ulu?

976
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 1: Okay, Dennis, we're taking calls from real life people, so

977
00:41:58,360 --> 00:41:58,960
Speaker 1: you need to ask.

978
00:41:59,080 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 2: You need to pay time.

979
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:03,799
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, I fucking pay attention. Read Catherine, what's up?

980
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:04,359
Speaker 6: All right?

981
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 3: We're gonna start with just an email. This is our

982
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 3: one drink question and Dennis, I like, I was gonna

983
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 3: start with an easier question, but I think you can

984
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:12,359
Speaker 3: handle this one.

985
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,320
Speaker 2: Dennis, you can have an OJ for this question.

986
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 3: Yes, So this listener, Elsie says, Hey, Chelsea, ancestry tests

987
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 3: really know how to spice up a family tree. I

988
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 3: recently found out that my half sister, who's in her fifties,

989
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 3: isn't actually related to me, meaning the dad we thought

990
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 3: we shared isn't. Her mom passed, and my dad, now

991
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:37,279
Speaker 3: in his late seventies, has no clue. They've had a

992
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 3: rocky relationship in the past, but have been solid for

993
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,239
Speaker 3: the last decade. She doesn't want to tell him because

994
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:43,399
Speaker 3: she thinks it would break his heart.

995
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 2: I get it.

996
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:47,360
Speaker 3: This was fifty plus years ago, his first of three marriages,

997
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 3: so clearly not his last surprise in life. But keeping

998
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 3: a secret like this until his death feels icky. Do

999
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 3: I respect her wishes or spilled the DNA T help me?

1000
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 2: Wise one? Elsie Dennis.

1001
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 4: Hmm, listen, I'm all. I'm one of those people who's like, listen,

1002
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 4: you gotta fucking unbury the truth and get it out

1003
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 4: in the open, because that's ultimately the best for everybody.

1004
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 4: But I would I have questions. He's in his late seventies,

1005
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:15,239
Speaker 4: she said, yeah, she just.

1006
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, seventies. Yeah, so we don't know later, Oh yeah,

1007
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:18,720
Speaker 2: late seventies.

1008
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:21,640
Speaker 4: She did say late seventies. I mean, if he was

1009
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 4: late eighties, I'd be like, I leave Malone late seventies

1010
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,520
Speaker 4: could probably handle it. That's my feeling. It is like,

1011
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 4: get it out in the open. Also, does he hate her,

1012
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 4: hate this person or like this person?

1013
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:34,879
Speaker 2: He likes her? They have a good relationship now, Yeah,

1014
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 2: I mean, I.

1015
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 4: Don't think it's going to take, you know, alter their relationship.

1016
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:40,280
Speaker 4: But it's not like it's going to kill her. He's young, Listen.

1017
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:41,320
Speaker 2: I I disagree.

1018
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 1: I don't think it's there's any reason to bring all

1019
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:44,479
Speaker 1: that nonsense to the four.

1020
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 2: In the time he knew her, he thought that his father.

1021
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 1: It's upsetting news, it's not really relevant because at this

1022
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,319
Speaker 1: stage in the game, he is her fucking father, So

1023
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 1: just to find out that his dead wife cheated on him,

1024
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 1: is what's the point of that information. I mean, it's

1025
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 1: important for the daughter to know because if she wants

1026
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,239
Speaker 1: to find her real father, then maybe she can. But

1027
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 1: I don't think it's important for your dad, who thinks

1028
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,439
Speaker 1: she's her father, to know at this stage in the game.

1029
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,839
Speaker 1: So I'm all about honesty and making sure you kind

1030
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 1: of like air your dirty laundry. But in these cases,

1031
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 1: the world is about to end anyway, Like, let's just

1032
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 1: let's not blow up our families on our way out

1033
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 1: the window.

1034
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:21,920
Speaker 2: That's my story.

1035
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:25,360
Speaker 4: Listen. Can I just say this, of the two opinions

1036
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 4: that were just offered, I would probably listen to I

1037
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 4: would definitely listen to shelseas she's smarter than I am.

1038
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,359
Speaker 4: And she's a woman, Yeah, so listen to her.

1039
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:35,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, woman to a woman.

1040
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 4: Just I'm turning into a woman, but I'm not a

1041
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 4: woman yet.

1042
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 2: Letlse it's a slow it's a slow roll, all right.

1043
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 4: Well.

1044
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 2: Our first caller today is Alison.

1045
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 3: She's located in DC and her subject line is help,

1046
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 3: I'm trapped in the gym with RFK Junior, Oh.

1047
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:56,720
Speaker 4: And Dennis.

1048
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:58,839
Speaker 3: I pull this for you specifically because I know you're

1049
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 3: like a Jack Kennedy de or. That's what you've always had,

1050
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 3: and you even had a song about the Kennedy, So

1051
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 3: this is for you, she says.

1052
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea.

1053
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:08,200
Speaker 3: I'm writing because I've been angrier than i'd like to

1054
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 3: admit this past year, and I'm struggling to keep that

1055
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:11,800
Speaker 3: anger from bleeding into.

1056
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:12,840
Speaker 2: My everyday life.

1057
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 3: Since the new administration took office, I've felt this constant,

1058
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 3: simmering frustration, not explosive, just ever present. I try to

1059
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 3: be functional, I try to channel it productively, and then

1060
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 3: it shows up in the least therapeutic place possible, my gym.

1061
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 2: Robert F.

1062
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:31,160
Speaker 3: Kennedy Junior works out at my gym, which means several

1063
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:34,120
Speaker 3: times a week, I am expected to peacefully coexist with

1064
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:37,319
Speaker 3: the physical embodiment of my political rage while I'm just

1065
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:41,279
Speaker 3: trying to lift weights and associate. He's quiet, he's confident,

1066
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,799
Speaker 3: maybe too confident. He works out in blue jeans and

1067
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 3: those unsettling.

1068
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 4: Fucking guy bead eyes. Fucking guy they're working out with

1069
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 4: the fucking jeans on go ahead.

1070
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 3: Sorry, Yeah, that's a good and those unsettling beadiyes are

1071
00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 3: always present.

1072
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:56,719
Speaker 2: It's mind boggling.

1073
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:59,959
Speaker 3: This is the cheapest gym in the area, so cheap

1074
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 3: that at one point the air conditioner broke for five

1075
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 3: weeks and we were all just expected to work out

1076
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,799
Speaker 3: in a semi dark sauna and accept it. Meanwhile, there's

1077
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 3: a fully functioning equinox right next door. I don't say anything,

1078
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,960
Speaker 3: I don't do anything, but inside I'm seething. So my

1079
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:17,600
Speaker 3: question is this, how do you contain your anger when

1080
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 3: it's justified, chronic and keeps popping up in places you're

1081
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 3: just trying.

1082
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:21,959
Speaker 2: To live your life?

1083
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:25,920
Speaker 3: Is the answer maturity detachment switching gyms? Or is this

1084
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 3: just the emotional cost of being alive and paying attention?

1085
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 6: Right now?

1086
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 4: Love?

1087
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 2: Alison?

1088
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 4: Hi, Allison?

1089
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 6: Hey, how are you guys?

1090
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 1: Hey Alison, that's Dennis Leary, our special guest today.

1091
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:41,399
Speaker 4: I think I'm very qualified to discuss this because I'm

1092
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 4: an Irish person from Massachusetts, which is where he's from.

1093
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:49,400
Speaker 4: Obviously they were rich, we were poor, but we voted

1094
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:52,319
Speaker 4: for them. So first of all, I can't fucking this

1095
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,360
Speaker 4: guy fucking going to the fucking cheapest gym proves that

1096
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 4: he's cheap. Number one number two working out in fucking Genes.

1097
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,160
Speaker 4: Fucking thing just trives.

1098
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 2: Me too, So I can stand it. I cannot stand that.

1099
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, fuck you you want to like, first of all,

1100
00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 4: why are you in the cheapest gym? Number one? Number two?

1101
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 4: Is he there with his like security detail? Are they

1102
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:15,319
Speaker 4: there too? Are they outside? Oh?

1103
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:18,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, like full perimeter. I'd say there's like upwards of

1104
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 5: like twenty secret service within this tiny little gym.

1105
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 4: So there's no other way to look at this except

1106
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:28,440
Speaker 4: he's cheap and he likes showing off. And the other

1107
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:30,240
Speaker 4: thing is, you know, he fucking goes in and gets

1108
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 4: that's a tan that he gets from Tanning Bets.

1109
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, yeah, he tans this guy.

1110
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, the health administrator of our country tans.

1111
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 4: Yeah. I just I don't here's my here's my thing.

1112
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:46,399
Speaker 4: I don't know you at all. Obviously, my thing would

1113
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 4: be I would just walk up, especially the mental state

1114
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 4: that you're in, I would walk up and fucking have

1115
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 4: a conversation, a real conversation about how you feel about things.

1116
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 2: I don't think that.

1117
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 1: Listen, He's been confronted so many times about his fa

1118
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 1: and his views and his I mean, he doesn't give

1119
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:05,359
Speaker 1: a shit what anyone thinks anyway, so it's not going

1120
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 1: to make an impact on him. First of all, I would,

1121
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 1: but I would like to I would just to get

1122
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:11,239
Speaker 1: my rocks off. I would like to have a go

1123
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 1: at him, first of all. Just some background information. I

1124
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:17,919
Speaker 1: bought RFK Junior's house in Los Angeles five years ago.

1125
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:18,880
Speaker 2: I did not know I was.

1126
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 1: Buying it from him. It was anonymous. It was an

1127
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:23,239
Speaker 1: anonymous but his is in a trust. Mine was in

1128
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:25,839
Speaker 1: a trust. It was all private. I bought his house

1129
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 1: from him and Cheryl Hines. I still have not lived

1130
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:31,799
Speaker 1: in this house. That's how fucked up this house was

1131
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,799
Speaker 1: the idea that this guy is in charge of the

1132
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: health of our country when he didn't even have a

1133
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 1: proper foundation at his house. When they unearthed, when they

1134
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:41,920
Speaker 1: opened up the house, they were like, this house is

1135
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 1: the most toxic environment.

1136
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 2: You cannot live here for at least two years. I'm

1137
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 2: not exaggerating any of this. It is.

1138
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:51,040
Speaker 1: It was a disaster, and I didn't know it going

1139
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:53,920
Speaker 1: in because everything was, you know, under wraps.

1140
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 2: So anyway, I have my own issues.

1141
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 4: With our Oh my god, the money I would pay

1142
00:48:58,160 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 4: to see you walking through the gym where he is

1143
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,799
Speaker 4: and have the conversation about the house that should be

1144
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 4: a fucking He's one of the.

1145
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,480
Speaker 2: Worst people that he really is.

1146
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,919
Speaker 5: I have really thought about it, Chelsea, because I've listened

1147
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 5: to your podcast for a while now and I know

1148
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:12,480
Speaker 5: this story and I see him all the time, and

1149
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:14,399
Speaker 5: I'm like, what did you do to Chelsea's house?

1150
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 4: What have you done?

1151
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 2: I mean, three people just coming in and said this

1152
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:20,320
Speaker 2: house is cursed.

1153
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:22,439
Speaker 4: Hey, you know what we should do, guys. We should

1154
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 4: start an army. Beginning with the three of us. We

1155
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 4: should start an army of people, famous and non famous,

1156
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:31,239
Speaker 4: people who at various points in the country will come

1157
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 4: up to him and go, what the fuck did you

1158
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:34,720
Speaker 4: do to Chelsea's fucking house?

1159
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:38,720
Speaker 2: How could you sell us this house?

1160
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:40,719
Speaker 4: How could you sell Chelsea handle that?

1161
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,360
Speaker 1: In the last week of inspection, they came in. I

1162
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 1: finally like, everything's been redone reade read. They're like, oh,

1163
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,360
Speaker 1: there's an a there's a unit he has, like a

1164
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:52,439
Speaker 1: little outdoor storage unit that's been there since I bought

1165
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 1: the property.

1166
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,240
Speaker 2: And they're like this is illegal, and I'm like, oh my.

1167
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 1: God, so now we have to remove his illegal bullshit

1168
00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 1: from my property, and I'm like, how did they not

1169
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 1: find this upon the first inspection.

1170
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:05,080
Speaker 2: But anyway, I would move gyms.

1171
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to even be exposed to that kind

1172
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:10,280
Speaker 1: of negative at Like he's so negative that whole vibe

1173
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 1: being in DC is probably really negative. But I would

1174
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 1: totally move jyms, go to Equinox. Why are you at

1175
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:16,960
Speaker 1: the cheapest gym? Is it a money issue?

1176
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:21,400
Speaker 5: I mean I could swing it. I just prefer like,

1177
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 5: that's where I want to go. It's right next to

1178
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:26,360
Speaker 5: my house, Like, I just have convenience there. I like

1179
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,919
Speaker 5: it there, I can swing, I can swing to Ox.

1180
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's better.

1181
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 1: I think you should leave him a message, or you

1182
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:34,800
Speaker 1: should let him know that you're leaving the gym because

1183
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,279
Speaker 1: of him, and that you're not the only person and

1184
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 1: be like, I'm so so I can't believe that I

1185
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:41,560
Speaker 1: joined a gym, and then I had to see you here,

1186
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 1: like you are the embodiment of everything that is wrong

1187
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 1: with this administration and you are sickening. And also, what

1188
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 1: the fuck is wrong with Chelsea Handler's house?

1189
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's right, ps, motherfucker, what the fuck did you

1190
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 4: do the Chelsea Handler's fucking house?

1191
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they had the audacity to leave me a note.

1192
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:01,440
Speaker 1: Cheryl Hines left me notes saying let us know if

1193
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 1: there's anything we can do for you.

1194
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:03,400
Speaker 2: Chelsea.

1195
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, how about a fucking foundation. That's something

1196
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 1: you could do for me.

1197
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:12,640
Speaker 2: Anyway. I'm not angry about it or anything. I'm totally

1198
00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:13,720
Speaker 2: over it.

1199
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:15,280
Speaker 6: Five years of your life.

1200
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:17,759
Speaker 5: I'm going to get you some answers. That'll be my

1201
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:18,439
Speaker 5: swan song.

1202
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:19,359
Speaker 2: But change, James.

1203
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 1: Always take yourself out of a situation that's gonna make

1204
00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:22,840
Speaker 1: you angry.

1205
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 2: Yes, better for your blood.

1206
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 4: Pressure, doctor, Chelsea Handler, there you go.

1207
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 3: All right, thank you, Allison, thanks for calling so much.

1208
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:33,440
Speaker 6: Bye bye.

1209
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 1: Okay, we're going to take a break and come back

1210
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:42,000
Speaker 1: with another caller, and we're back with Dennis Leary.

1211
00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 4: I love your breaks. Your breaks are so fast.

1212
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,319
Speaker 1: Well yeah, they're so fast because I mean I need

1213
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 1: you to continue to pay attention, you know what I mean.

1214
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 2: We're already struggling, Catherine. What do we have to close

1215
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:51,839
Speaker 2: out today's episode.

1216
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 3: Well, we have Jennifer who is writing in and she's

1217
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 3: getting into comedy. So Jennifer says, dear Chelsea, two years ago,

1218
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,800
Speaker 3: I started doing stand up open mics, whenever I could.

1219
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:03,400
Speaker 2: I absolutely love it.

1220
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:05,880
Speaker 3: I love making people laugh, and I also love telling

1221
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 3: stories about my family. My partner of twenty years and

1222
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 3: my boys are supportive. It's hard for them because I'm

1223
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:13,399
Speaker 3: away from home on some weeknights trying to get stage time.

1224
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:15,840
Speaker 3: I haven't headlined anything yet, but I'm still working on

1225
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:18,359
Speaker 3: a solid fifteen minute set. I write jokes every day,

1226
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 3: and I work on delivery, timing and stage presents.

1227
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:22,240
Speaker 2: So here are my questions.

1228
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 3: How do I handle the clicks and egos of other

1229
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:27,279
Speaker 3: comics so I can get on stage. I'm running up

1230
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 3: against venues that have their favorites, and no matter how

1231
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:32,359
Speaker 3: talented you are, you aren't getting stage time. I want

1232
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,520
Speaker 3: to be polite, but assertive, and not burn a bridge

1233
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:36,760
Speaker 3: at a club either. Do I set up a YouTube

1234
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 3: channel with sets from my open mics. I would have

1235
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:40,440
Speaker 3: to have my twelve year old help me do that,

1236
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:41,839
Speaker 3: since I don't have a clue how to do it.

1237
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 3: How do I balance the need for laughs every few

1238
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:48,200
Speaker 3: seconds within storytelling? Most of the literature estates that you

1239
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:50,919
Speaker 3: need to find something original and do that. It's twenty

1240
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,479
Speaker 3: twenty six. Comedy's been around since before the written word.

1241
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:55,920
Speaker 3: The only thing original I bring to the table is

1242
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 3: my interpretation of things. I am completely unhinged. How do

1243
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:01,800
Speaker 3: I exploit that in comedy and still be relatable to

1244
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 3: the mainstream? Or should I just not care what the

1245
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 3: mainstream is and just.

1246
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:06,080
Speaker 2: Do my thing?

1247
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:09,239
Speaker 3: And am I too old to even start down this road?

1248
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:11,440
Speaker 3: You're amazing, and I'm trying to get everything arranged so

1249
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,440
Speaker 3: I can see you on tour. My kids have a

1250
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 3: negative review with most sitters, so it's a struggle. Thanks, Jennifer.

1251
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:19,839
Speaker 4: I like that.

1252
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:21,400
Speaker 2: Hi Jennifer.

1253
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:27,719
Speaker 7: Hi, God, guys, God, it's Dennis Leriat Jilsea.

1254
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:31,160
Speaker 4: At the same time, it's like a three second it's

1255
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:33,080
Speaker 4: just kind of against the law. They don't let us

1256
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 4: do it very often. How old are you?

1257
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 6: I just turned fifty one.

1258
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:41,120
Speaker 4: Oh listen, fuck, anybody could do it. Zarna garg is

1259
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,439
Speaker 4: a great example of somebody later in life who raised

1260
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:45,759
Speaker 4: her kids and then started doing stand up comedy. I

1261
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 4: think when they were teenagers or something. Oh yeah, forget

1262
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:52,040
Speaker 4: about that. That doesn't matter anymore. Number one. Number two,

1263
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:55,840
Speaker 4: it sounds like you're actually mentally you're already on the

1264
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:57,920
Speaker 4: right page, which is, you know what, fuck the mainstream?

1265
00:53:57,960 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 4: You just got to do what you have. Like we

1266
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:01,640
Speaker 4: were just talking about this a few minutes ago, me

1267
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:05,120
Speaker 4: and Chelsea about just be yourself. That's I mean, that's

1268
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 4: the best comedy wise, that's always the best thing writing

1269
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,880
Speaker 4: wise as well. So fuck the mainstream who gives a

1270
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:12,319
Speaker 4: shit about that? You should just do what you want.

1271
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say intentionally, like you said, you're unhinged,

1272
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 1: that's great.

1273
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 2: People like that.

1274
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:18,360
Speaker 4: People like unhinged.

1275
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,359
Speaker 1: I would exploit whatever the most outlandish part of your

1276
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:22,359
Speaker 1: personality is.

1277
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:24,600
Speaker 2: I would take that and just put that. You know

1278
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:26,800
Speaker 2: what I mean. That's what separates you from other people,

1279
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:27,839
Speaker 2: is I mean?

1280
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,840
Speaker 1: And listen, Yes, comedy has been around since forever, but

1281
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 1: your take on it hasn't been around forever. So while

1282
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:36,920
Speaker 1: while subject matters may overlap and people may discuss the

1283
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:39,000
Speaker 1: same things, like people are always talking about dating and

1284
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:42,280
Speaker 1: fucking and people who are cheap, or they're talking about politics,

1285
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:44,879
Speaker 1: or girls are talking about guys who are terrible.

1286
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:47,000
Speaker 2: In bed and terrible at paying and blah blah blah.

1287
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:49,160
Speaker 1: While all those things can, like you know, overlap and

1288
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:53,600
Speaker 1: be kind of ongoing sagas your take on it hasn't

1289
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,120
Speaker 1: been out there, you know, and if you're if you're

1290
00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:59,400
Speaker 1: unhinged and you want to really like be something original,

1291
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 1: focus on that. Don't focus on getting as many people

1292
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:05,719
Speaker 1: the mainstream aspect of it. That's just kind of a

1293
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:08,080
Speaker 1: fool's Errand you have to find people that are going

1294
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:11,400
Speaker 1: to respond to you, and you be as much of

1295
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 1: yourself as you can, And I think that's where the

1296
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:16,040
Speaker 1: rewards will come in and you'll start to see some

1297
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 1: gains from your work, like an original when somebody when

1298
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 1: I see someone original on stage, I'm like, wow, I've

1299
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 1: never seen that angle before, you know what I mean.

1300
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:25,359
Speaker 1: So there's always a new angle to be had.

1301
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's very true.

1302
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 1: And being fifty one like exploit that talk about the

1303
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:31,920
Speaker 1: fact that you couldn't you didn't have time to get

1304
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:34,399
Speaker 1: around to this until you've fucking had your kids, because

1305
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:36,080
Speaker 1: you're a woman and you've been put under too much

1306
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 1: pressure your entire life to be the perfect woman. And

1307
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:40,759
Speaker 1: now you're here, you're a little late to the game,

1308
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 1: and you're fucking pissed about it because you should have

1309
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:45,040
Speaker 1: been doing this all along, you know what I mean.

1310
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:47,839
Speaker 1: There's a whole storyline. Just keep adding on to that

1311
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:51,720
Speaker 1: aspect of things, you know. I like disgruntled. I like comics.

1312
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,719
Speaker 1: You get up there and are angry and pissed and

1313
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 1: just want to go off. I always find that very amusing.

1314
00:55:56,480 --> 00:56:00,400
Speaker 3: Regarding the internet question, I would go TikTok not you YouTube,

1315
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:03,840
Speaker 3: and unhinged plays very well on TikTok, like kind of

1316
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 3: the more unhinged you are, the more attention you get.

1317
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 6: That's a good point.

1318
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:09,160
Speaker 4: True, all true.

1319
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 2: How are you getting stage time if you can't find

1320
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 2: a sitter for your kids.

1321
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:16,799
Speaker 7: I have a partner that will stay with them. The

1322
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:20,160
Speaker 7: youngest is eight, the oldest is twelve, So they're almost

1323
00:56:20,239 --> 00:56:22,840
Speaker 7: to the point where they won't set the house on fire.

1324
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:25,560
Speaker 6: So it's close. We're getting almost there.

1325
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:27,839
Speaker 4: We're almost there right here.

1326
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:29,919
Speaker 1: I mean, he can help you, and we can put

1327
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 1: him on speed dial, and if anything happens to your house,

1328
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:33,160
Speaker 1: Dennis will be right over.

1329
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 4: That is I'm really better in a fake fire than

1330
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:37,640
Speaker 4: I am in a real fire.

1331
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:39,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's very good at house calls, do but not

1332
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:41,320
Speaker 1: with regard to fires.

1333
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 4: Do you talk about the kids on stage? I do.

1334
00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 6: I do.

1335
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:48,760
Speaker 7: They're they're a little crazy as well. They're both adopted

1336
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 7: to so it's a completely different story.

1337
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:55,440
Speaker 4: That oat having your kids that's an endless supply of material.

1338
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, adopted, you could return them? Is that an option?

1339
00:56:58,280 --> 00:56:58,839
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

1340
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 6: They'd asked if they can and.

1341
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 1: Be well, that's that's good too. That's all material. Everything

1342
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:06,280
Speaker 1: is material.

1343
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:07,520
Speaker 4: It's all material.

1344
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:10,839
Speaker 6: Okay, I thank you so much. I appreciate that.

1345
00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:12,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, and don't think about age as the number. Think

1346
00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 1: about it as like an avenue, you know what I mean.

1347
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 1: This is my in I'm fifty one. This is how

1348
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:19,120
Speaker 1: pissed I am that I have to do stand up

1349
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 1: comedy to get my rocks off, you know, like I

1350
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 1: you know, I could have a nice, quiet life, but no,

1351
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:25,479
Speaker 1: I don't.

1352
00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:26,440
Speaker 2: I want to disrupt.

1353
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:29,360
Speaker 3: The other question that I wanted to bump back up

1354
00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:31,920
Speaker 3: is like handling the clicks and the egos of the

1355
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 3: other comics and getting stage time.

1356
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 2: Do you guys have advice on that?

1357
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,760
Speaker 1: Listen man, getting stage Yeah, you just have to really

1358
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:41,440
Speaker 1: be persistent and consistent to get the stage time. And

1359
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:44,320
Speaker 1: obviously there will be people that are on your side

1360
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:45,880
Speaker 1: or people that are not on your side, and those

1361
00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:48,080
Speaker 1: are easy to suss out right away. But as far

1362
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:50,480
Speaker 1: as other comics go, like, it's important to kind of

1363
00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:53,400
Speaker 1: form a little you know, get some groups going, or

1364
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:56,680
Speaker 1: make some friends because people are always doing small shows

1365
00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 1: and smaller shows that you can get stage time in,

1366
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:00,360
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So you want to be

1367
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:03,440
Speaker 1: friends with comics, but if you're feeling like people aren't

1368
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:06,720
Speaker 1: welcoming of you, I really just like cut out that noise.

1369
00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 1: I used to go into the comedy store when I

1370
00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:10,920
Speaker 1: was really young and would get and I would just

1371
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 1: walk in, do my set, and walk out.

1372
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 2: Like no socializing everything.

1373
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 1: It's a different story now, but when I didn't feel

1374
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 1: like I was welcome, or I felt like I was

1375
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 1: being judged, or people were jealous or whatever the feelings were,

1376
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:24,560
Speaker 1: I just didn't expose myself to that. All I cared

1377
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:26,360
Speaker 1: about was doing my set and leaving.

1378
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 4: And by the way, the funnier you get, just it's

1379
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:34,080
Speaker 4: human nature, especially comedy human nature. The funnier you get,

1380
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 4: the more fucking people are gonna get jealous comedians of you.

1381
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 4: So don't even fucking worry about that shit. Find like

1382
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:44,920
Speaker 4: Chelsea's right, find your the friends you find that you

1383
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:48,280
Speaker 4: get along with in that scene, fuck everybody else.

1384
00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:50,480
Speaker 6: You know, that's a good point.

1385
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 7: I was told by one male comic that said, as

1386
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:55,720
Speaker 7: soon as you get on stage. Because you're a female,

1387
00:58:56,120 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 7: everybody tunes you out and I was like, for you're

1388
00:58:59,120 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 7: it actual?

1389
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:03,320
Speaker 4: What what fucking year is he living it? Are you

1390
00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 4: fucking kidding me? Oh my god?

1391
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:09,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, welcome to the future. Yeah, yeah, I would. And

1392
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 2: what did you say.

1393
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 4: Back to him?

1394
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:16,800
Speaker 6: I just said, you're an asshole? Yeah, you know.

1395
00:59:16,880 --> 00:59:19,280
Speaker 7: Basically, it was like, I do have a group of

1396
00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:21,560
Speaker 7: guys that I do things with. It's just you know,

1397
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:24,760
Speaker 7: finding the time to get out with them as they do.

1398
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:26,600
Speaker 6: They do small shows and stuff like that.

1399
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 1: So so just do as much as you possibly can

1400
00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:30,120
Speaker 1: with the time.

1401
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 4: That you have.

1402
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:32,920
Speaker 6: Sweet. Thanks guys, I appreciate it.

1403
00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:36,040
Speaker 2: Awesome, Thank you, Jennifer. All right, thanks for calling in.

1404
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:37,240
Speaker 4: Nice to meet you.

1405
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:38,720
Speaker 6: Nice to meet you too. Bye bye.

1406
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:41,560
Speaker 1: I If she plays her cards right, she too, will

1407
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 1: be recording a podcast from Whistler, Canada.

1408
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 4: Can I ask a question? Can I ask a question? Yes?

1409
00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:51,800
Speaker 4: So do you live in Whistler like part of the year.

1410
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, in the in the wintertime, I base myself out

1411
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:56,000
Speaker 1: of Canada and in the winter time because I like

1412
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 1: to ski.

1413
00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:59,120
Speaker 2: I know, you love I know, you know, I love

1414
00:59:59,160 --> 00:59:59,520
Speaker 2: to ski.

1415
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:04,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, So basically you're up there, what from Christmas until.

1416
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 2: Probably like April. But I'm about to go on I'm

1417
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:07,439
Speaker 2: about to go on tour.

1418
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 1: So but I'll be coming in and out of Vancouver

1419
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 1: rather than in and out of la which isn't that

1420
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:13,880
Speaker 1: big of a difference.

1421
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:16,120
Speaker 2: But yeah, I like my little life up here. It's

1422
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:16,880
Speaker 2: a nice trend.

1423
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:20,160
Speaker 1: It's nice juxtaposition from my life in Los Angeles.

1424
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:22,560
Speaker 4: So, you know, in order for Whistler's beautiful.

1425
01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:25,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's beautiful. The snow isn't really cooperating right now,

1426
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:25,800
Speaker 2: but that's okay.

1427
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:28,560
Speaker 1: I can get by. It's a very homey, you know.

1428
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:30,520
Speaker 1: I work out a lot in my house here. I

1429
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:32,320
Speaker 1: read a lot of books. I've got my dog here,

1430
01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:34,720
Speaker 1: I have friends come and visit. I have a lot

1431
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 1: of sex here. Everything's fine, you.

1432
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:37,680
Speaker 4: Know what I mean.

1433
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:42,360
Speaker 1: So well, I am so excited about you becoming a woman.

1434
01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:45,600
Speaker 1: I am so excited about the second season of your show.

1435
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:47,880
Speaker 2: I love you, Dennis. You know that I love you.

1436
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:50,800
Speaker 2: I have strong affection for you.

1437
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 4: I love you and your sister.

1438
01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 2: And my sister. We both love you as a family.

1439
01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:57,320
Speaker 2: And it shows on Hulu or Fox.

1440
01:00:57,360 --> 01:01:02,920
Speaker 4: Guys Going Dutch, It's all the episodes are available on Hulu.

1441
01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 1: Okay, season two. Okay, Dennis, I'll see you. I'll see

1442
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 1: you on the flip side. Hopefully I'll run into you

1443
01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:10,480
Speaker 1: somewhere very soon. I hope I catch you smoking a

1444
01:01:10,480 --> 01:01:11,480
Speaker 1: fucking cigarette.

1445
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 4: Can you imagine?

1446
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:16,439
Speaker 2: No, I never know. After this conversation, you better never

1447
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:17,280
Speaker 2: smoke again.

1448
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,680
Speaker 4: I hope I never smoke again. I don't think I'm

1449
01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 4: gonna No, you're not going to, but you never know.

1450
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:24,720
Speaker 2: No, you're not going to. You're not going to.

1451
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:27,680
Speaker 4: You never know if my brain can click off of

1452
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 4: cigarettes like that, I'm afraid like tomorrow, I'm walking down

1453
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:33,120
Speaker 4: the street and my brain goes, guess what, we're gonna

1454
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 4: start smoking again?

1455
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 2: Or yeah, well, maybe it'll click off something else.

1456
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:38,919
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe just think about things you're gonna keep getting

1457
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:41,520
Speaker 1: rid of instead of thinking going in the reverse direction.

1458
01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 4: Well, kind of what's left to get rid?

1459
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 6: And drinking are gone?

1460
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:43,960
Speaker 4: Right?

1461
01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:44,760
Speaker 2: Drinking?

1462
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 4: Are sure?

1463
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:47,360
Speaker 1: You have some other bad habits? Maybe you can stop

1464
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:51,080
Speaker 1: going to the bathroom. Also, goodbye Dennis.

1465
01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:52,520
Speaker 4: Leary, Bye Chelsea.

1466
01:01:52,680 --> 01:01:56,160
Speaker 1: Bye, Okay, guys, I am officially on my high and

1467
01:01:56,240 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 1: Mighty tour. March thirteenth, Cleveland, Ohio, fourteenth, Columbus, Ohio, March fifteenth, Cincinnati, Ohio,

1468
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:09,440
Speaker 1: and then March twentieth is Denver, Colorado. March twenty seventh Portland, Maine.

1469
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:11,560
Speaker 1: March twenty eighth, Providence.

1470
01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:11,760
Speaker 2: Rhode Island.

1471
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 1: March twenty ninth, Springfield, Massachusetts. April tenth is Chicago. I'll

1472
01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:21,400
Speaker 1: be at the Chicago Theater in April eleventh. Indianapolis, Indiana.

1473
01:02:21,960 --> 01:02:27,320
Speaker 1: April twelfth Louisville, Kentucky. April sixteenth is Albuquerque, New Mexico.

1474
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 1: April seventeenth is Masa, Arizona. April twenty third is Kansas City, Missouri.

1475
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:35,600
Speaker 1: April twenty fourth is Saint Louis, Missouri. April twenty fifth

1476
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:41,720
Speaker 1: is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April thirtieth Nashville, Tennessee. May first is Charlotte,

1477
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:45,560
Speaker 1: North Carolina. May second is Durham, North Carolina. May sixth,

1478
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:47,720
Speaker 1: I'm doing Netflix as a joke festival. I will be

1479
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:50,720
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement, along with

1480
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:54,800
Speaker 1: Atlantic City May fifteenth, Saratoga, California.

1481
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:56,680
Speaker 2: May sixteenth, Monterey, California.

1482
01:02:56,960 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 1: May seventeenth, Modesto, California, and then June fourth.

1483
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:01,960
Speaker 2: Portchester, New York.

1484
01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:07,200
Speaker 1: June fifth is Boston, mass And June twelfth is Portland, Oregon,

1485
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:12,000
Speaker 1: and then Seattle is June thirteenth, So suck on that, everybody.

1486
01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:15,160
Speaker 2: Go to Chelseahandler dot com for tickets. If you want

1487
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 2: advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail

1488
01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:22,160
Speaker 2: dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia.

1489
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:25,320
Speaker 3: Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler, and find

1490
01:03:25,360 --> 01:03:27,360
Speaker 3: Katherine on TikTok at flash Cadabra.

1491
01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:30,760
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon.

1492
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:34,520
Speaker 3: Dickert executive producer Katherine Law. Find full video episodes and

1493
01:03:34,600 --> 01:03:37,520
Speaker 3: minisodes now on Netflix, and get tickets to see Chelsea

1494
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:41,880
Speaker 3: live at Chelseahandler dot com