Speaker 1: Helloha, and welcome to the short stuff. I'm Josh, there's Chuck,
Speaker 1: there's Josh. Heloha. No way, don't go anywhere. I didn't
Speaker 1: mean goodbye. I was just saying hello again. You've been
Speaker 1: to Hawaii? Sure? Yeah, Mary, you mean I got married
Speaker 1: in Hawaii. That's right, Hawaii and you've been back right
Speaker 1: or now? Yes, we love it. I can't wait. I've
Speaker 1: never been. Still, you're gonna love it. When we went,
Speaker 1: we were not expecting it to be as great as
Speaker 1: it was, and we were just blown away. And we
Speaker 1: went back and got married, and now we go back
Speaker 1: as often as we can. And to people that are thinking,
Speaker 1: what did jerk? Josh didn't invite Chuck to his wedding,
Speaker 1: didn't invite anybody. Yeah, you guys kind of did your
Speaker 1: own thing. So but yeah, we eloped. I like to
Speaker 1: think I was on the uh spiritual guest list. You
Speaker 1: definitely were. But it was funny when we called people
Speaker 1: and said, like, you know, hey, we just got married.
Speaker 1: We eloped, and and the first question from just about
Speaker 1: everybody was, well, who is there? Really'd say no one,
Speaker 1: and they go congratulations. Wait, why don't you say congratulations first? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's interesting we need new friends and family. Who was
Speaker 1: there exactly? So the thing I couldn't we're talking about
Speaker 1: the legend of the night Marchers of Hawaii. I read
Speaker 1: through a couple of things on this, and I was
Speaker 1: frustrated because I still couldn't figure out what they were.
Speaker 1: Were they like, were they real? Is it a legend
Speaker 1: or the ghost? Is it folklore? And I finally it
Speaker 1: took me like two or three articles, so I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this isn't really happening. So wait, there was a point
Speaker 1: and in your research where you thought that, like, like
Speaker 1: people were walking around just slaughtering innocent bystanders in Hawaii.
Speaker 1: Well that's what confused me is I thought maybe these
Speaker 1: were people re enacting this legend for fun. But then
Speaker 1: I was like, but the murder part, like no one
Speaker 1: has said, like, but they don't really kill you. So
Speaker 1: let's talk about what this is now. I'm confused. Uh,
Speaker 1: if you have been to Hawaii might have heard about
Speaker 1: these night marchers. It is a uh it's basically a
Speaker 1: situation where you might hear and of course this is
Speaker 1: folklore again, right, right, this is this is folklore. Right.
Speaker 1: You'll hear these war drums in the distance, you'll hear chanting. Ah,
Speaker 1: you hear like the horn of a cock shell being
Speaker 1: sound sounded, and you will see the torches marching through
Speaker 1: and winding through the darkness, and you're like, oh s
Speaker 1: the night marchers, right, even if you don't know what
Speaker 1: the night marchers are, hopefully this will scare you enough
Speaker 1: to run and not be like, oh, let me stick
Speaker 1: around and take a gander and see what happens. Because
Speaker 1: here's the problem. If you are a Howley or even
Speaker 1: a Hawaiian who doesn't know what's going on right now,
Speaker 1: although that's probably not the case because it's apparently a
Speaker 1: widespread cultural tradition. Um, if you stick around and the
Speaker 1: night marchers find you and they notice that you are gawking,
Speaker 1: they will kill you right there. They will shout something
Speaker 1: that means pierce that person, and you will be killed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you make eye contact, supposedly, and not only will
Speaker 1: you be killed, you'll be killed by supernatural beings, which
Speaker 1: I would guess is way worse than being killed under
Speaker 1: normal circumstances. That's right. So what's supposedly happening is is
Speaker 1: these I think it's the chiefs are traveling at night
Speaker 1: to avoid being spotted and they are Are they all
Speaker 1: chiefs or is this the chief and people in his
Speaker 1: guard sort of uh, protecting them along the way the
Speaker 1: ladder of those two. Okay, that's what I thought. And
Speaker 1: it's not just like the supernatural ghost. So these are
Speaker 1: the ghosts of chiefs who were protected in the people
Speaker 1: who protect them. It's all this ghost procession through Hawaii
Speaker 1: at night. And it's actually something that used to happen
Speaker 1: in the old days because it was a long standing
Speaker 1: tradition among Hawaiian culture that the chiefs were so divine
Speaker 1: that a normal person couldn't look upon them, and you
Speaker 1: certainly couldn't be in their presence while you had clothes on, right,
Speaker 1: which is why if you're just kind of a tourist
Speaker 1: gawking and you run across the night marchers and you're
Speaker 1: wearing clothes and you're looking at the chief, that's why
Speaker 1: they kill you. So in real life, historically speaking, some
Speaker 1: of the better chiefs would say, well, I can't just
Speaker 1: go wandering around from place to place in the daytime
Speaker 1: where somebody might see me accidentally and then they have
Speaker 1: to be killed. I'll just take to the to the
Speaker 1: trails at night and me and my procession will will
Speaker 1: travel at night. This is the ghostly continuation of that
Speaker 1: actual historical tradition. It's very much like a Scooby Doo
Speaker 1: plot if you ask me, totally. I can't believe they
Speaker 1: never did this, Yeah, because they went on sort of
Speaker 1: exotic vacations occasionally in some of those later years. And
Speaker 1: Hawaiian real estate is so valuable that a real estate
Speaker 1: developer might actually go to this length to scare people
Speaker 1: off of land that he wanted for cheap. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that would have been perfect for Scooby Doo.
Speaker 1: It would have been the most realistic Scooby Doo episode ever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you gotta get like the three students out there
Speaker 1: or something. It's curly Joe. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and we will come back
Speaker 1: and talk a little bit more about what happens on
Speaker 1: this ghostly journey right after this. Alright, So the lunar
Speaker 1: cycles have something to do with this as well, because
Speaker 1: apparently they tend to appear usually during the last four
Speaker 1: Hawaiian moon phases when it's darkest. Yeah, Hawaii has their
Speaker 1: own lunar phases, and they're more distinct than ours. They
Speaker 1: have like thirty of them where we have like eight.
Speaker 1: It's pretty incredible. And their last four are Kanie, Lono,
Speaker 1: Mauli and Muku and Ralph and they're basically the right
Speaker 1: and they're the h and Curly Joe. They're the dark
Speaker 1: dark phases of the moon. Yeah, so it's it's darkest
Speaker 1: out then. Uh. They're usually mark marching toward uh some
Speaker 1: very sacred sites or very popular and notable cultural sites. Uh.
Speaker 1: And like we said, if you hear this and you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my goodness, let me go check this out, just
Speaker 1: don't do it because you're gonna die even though it's
Speaker 1: not real, right. Uh. If you are in an ancestor
Speaker 1: uh and you have some kind of family tie to
Speaker 1: someone in the march, they know to respect it, but
Speaker 1: you will also be protected. Right. So here's the thing,
Speaker 1: Like if you if it turns out that you happen
Speaker 1: just coincidentally to be a um a distant descendant of
Speaker 1: one of the ghosts on the march in this procession,
Speaker 1: they will say this, this person is one of my descendants,
Speaker 1: and don't kill him, and and we'll just go ahead
Speaker 1: and encapsulate him. At least that last part about capsulating
Speaker 1: him or protecting him or her. Uh comes from Akhuna,
Speaker 1: a real life cahuna um by the name of Lopaca
Speaker 1: Kappa Neui. Is he the big Cahuna? I think he's
Speaker 1: just a regular khuna, okay, but he is a kind
Speaker 1: of a cultural historian and uh a khuna again, kind
Speaker 1: of a spiritual leader of um Hawaiian culture. And he
Speaker 1: said that at one point he encountered one of these
Speaker 1: night march ghostly processions and he was protected ostensibly because
Speaker 1: one of his distant relatives was one of the marchers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's another couple of things that can save you. One
Speaker 1: as if you have a plant, very specific plant called
Speaker 1: the t I guess t I I think so it
Speaker 1: is an evergreen plant. And if you have that planet
Speaker 1: around your home, which I bet a lot of houses
Speaker 1: in Hawaii do, just for maybe superstitious sake, you will
Speaker 1: be protected it. And the other is if you just
Speaker 1: happen to be out there and you come across one
Speaker 1: of these marching groups you are too and you're accidentally
Speaker 1: make eye contact. You're like, hey, what's up man, and
Speaker 1: they're like, you're about to die and they say the
Speaker 1: thing you were supposed to strip down naked, lay down,
Speaker 1: face down on the ground, close your eyes, p yourself
Speaker 1: in play dead. Yeah, just basically showing complete deference and
Speaker 1: fealty to these things, to these ghostly warriors in their
Speaker 1: king And the p yourself was not a chuck joke.
Speaker 1: That's for real. They say to urinate if you can,
Speaker 1: and that they'll they'll be like, wow, I guess that worked.
Speaker 1: We scared the p out of them. Yeah. Another another
Speaker 1: UM piece of advice is not to whistle at night,
Speaker 1: because apparently legend has it, you might accidentally summon the
Speaker 1: night marchers. UM. And I don't know if there's any
Speaker 1: more advice. I think, Oh, run, that's that's what um
Speaker 1: Lopaca can Kappa Nui says. He says, if you start
Speaker 1: to hear those drums at night in the distance, or
Speaker 1: you hear a conk show, or you start to apparently
Speaker 1: you can smell rotting flesh that's part of it, um,
Speaker 1: or if you start to see those torches coming towards you,
Speaker 1: you should just just run, don't stick around. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: this and this how stuff works article I said, don't
Speaker 1: stop to take selfies like some people done have done
Speaker 1: in the past. Just run Is that all just stungue
Speaker 1: in cheek? I I don't know. I can't tell anymore.
Speaker 1: The border between real and supernatural has been completely crossed.
Speaker 1: I totally agree. I don't know if I need to
Speaker 1: go to Hawaii now because I have made fun of
Speaker 1: this and they they know I'm doing so you are
Speaker 1: going to love it, Chuck, all right, you gotta go
Speaker 1: and you're gonna love it, Okay, all right, Well we'll
Speaker 1: see everybody in Hawaii. Because short stuff is out. Stuff
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