WEBVTT - Short Stuff: Hawaiian Night Marchers

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<v Speaker 1>Helloha, and welcome to the short stuff. I'm Josh, there's Chuck,

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<v Speaker 1>there's Josh. Heloha. No way, don't go anywhere. I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>mean goodbye. I was just saying hello again. You've been

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<v Speaker 1>to Hawaii? Sure? Yeah, Mary, you mean I got married

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<v Speaker 1>in Hawaii. That's right, Hawaii and you've been back right

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<v Speaker 1>or now? Yes, we love it. I can't wait. I've

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<v Speaker 1>never been. Still, you're gonna love it. When we went,

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<v Speaker 1>we were not expecting it to be as great as

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<v Speaker 1>it was, and we were just blown away. And we

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<v Speaker 1>went back and got married, and now we go back

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<v Speaker 1>as often as we can. And to people that are thinking,

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<v Speaker 1>what did jerk? Josh didn't invite Chuck to his wedding,

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<v Speaker 1>didn't invite anybody. Yeah, you guys kind of did your

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<v Speaker 1>own thing. So but yeah, we eloped. I like to

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<v Speaker 1>think I was on the uh spiritual guest list. You

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<v Speaker 1>definitely were. But it was funny when we called people

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<v Speaker 1>and said, like, you know, hey, we just got married.

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<v Speaker 1>We eloped, and and the first question from just about

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<v Speaker 1>everybody was, well, who is there? Really'd say no one,

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<v Speaker 1>and they go congratulations. Wait, why don't you say congratulations first? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's interesting we need new friends and family. Who was

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<v Speaker 1>there exactly? So the thing I couldn't we're talking about

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<v Speaker 1>the legend of the night Marchers of Hawaii. I read

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<v Speaker 1>through a couple of things on this, and I was

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<v Speaker 1>frustrated because I still couldn't figure out what they were.

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<v Speaker 1>Were they like, were they real? Is it a legend

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<v Speaker 1>or the ghost? Is it folklore? And I finally it

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<v Speaker 1>took me like two or three articles, so I was like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>this isn't really happening. So wait, there was a point

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<v Speaker 1>and in your research where you thought that, like, like

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<v Speaker 1>people were walking around just slaughtering innocent bystanders in Hawaii.

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<v Speaker 1>Well that's what confused me is I thought maybe these

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<v Speaker 1>were people re enacting this legend for fun. But then

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, but the murder part, like no one

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<v Speaker 1>has said, like, but they don't really kill you. So

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<v Speaker 1>let's talk about what this is now. I'm confused. Uh,

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<v Speaker 1>if you have been to Hawaii might have heard about

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<v Speaker 1>these night marchers. It is a uh it's basically a

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<v Speaker 1>situation where you might hear and of course this is

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<v Speaker 1>folklore again, right, right, this is this is folklore. Right.

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<v Speaker 1>You'll hear these war drums in the distance, you'll hear chanting. Ah,

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<v Speaker 1>you hear like the horn of a cock shell being

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<v Speaker 1>sound sounded, and you will see the torches marching through

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<v Speaker 1>and winding through the darkness, and you're like, oh s

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<v Speaker 1>the night marchers, right, even if you don't know what

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<v Speaker 1>the night marchers are, hopefully this will scare you enough

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<v Speaker 1>to run and not be like, oh, let me stick

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<v Speaker 1>around and take a gander and see what happens. Because

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<v Speaker 1>here's the problem. If you are a Howley or even

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<v Speaker 1>a Hawaiian who doesn't know what's going on right now,

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<v Speaker 1>although that's probably not the case because it's apparently a

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<v Speaker 1>widespread cultural tradition. Um, if you stick around and the

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<v Speaker 1>night marchers find you and they notice that you are gawking,

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<v Speaker 1>they will kill you right there. They will shout something

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<v Speaker 1>that means pierce that person, and you will be killed. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>if you make eye contact, supposedly, and not only will

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<v Speaker 1>you be killed, you'll be killed by supernatural beings, which

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<v Speaker 1>I would guess is way worse than being killed under

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<v Speaker 1>normal circumstances. That's right. So what's supposedly happening is is

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<v Speaker 1>these I think it's the chiefs are traveling at night

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<v Speaker 1>to avoid being spotted and they are Are they all

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<v Speaker 1>chiefs or is this the chief and people in his

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<v Speaker 1>guard sort of uh, protecting them along the way the

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<v Speaker 1>ladder of those two. Okay, that's what I thought. And

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<v Speaker 1>it's not just like the supernatural ghost. So these are

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<v Speaker 1>the ghosts of chiefs who were protected in the people

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<v Speaker 1>who protect them. It's all this ghost procession through Hawaii

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<v Speaker 1>at night. And it's actually something that used to happen

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<v Speaker 1>in the old days because it was a long standing

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<v Speaker 1>tradition among Hawaiian culture that the chiefs were so divine

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<v Speaker 1>that a normal person couldn't look upon them, and you

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<v Speaker 1>certainly couldn't be in their presence while you had clothes on, right,

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<v Speaker 1>which is why if you're just kind of a tourist

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<v Speaker 1>gawking and you run across the night marchers and you're

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<v Speaker 1>wearing clothes and you're looking at the chief, that's why

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<v Speaker 1>they kill you. So in real life, historically speaking, some

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<v Speaker 1>of the better chiefs would say, well, I can't just

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<v Speaker 1>go wandering around from place to place in the daytime

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<v Speaker 1>where somebody might see me accidentally and then they have

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<v Speaker 1>to be killed. I'll just take to the to the

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<v Speaker 1>trails at night and me and my procession will will

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<v Speaker 1>travel at night. This is the ghostly continuation of that

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<v Speaker 1>actual historical tradition. It's very much like a Scooby Doo

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<v Speaker 1>plot if you ask me, totally. I can't believe they

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<v Speaker 1>never did this, Yeah, because they went on sort of

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<v Speaker 1>exotic vacations occasionally in some of those later years. And

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<v Speaker 1>Hawaiian real estate is so valuable that a real estate

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<v Speaker 1>developer might actually go to this length to scare people

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<v Speaker 1>off of land that he wanted for cheap. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean that would have been perfect for Scooby Doo.

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<v Speaker 1>It would have been the most realistic Scooby Doo episode ever. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but you gotta get like the three students out there

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<v Speaker 1>or something. It's curly Joe. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so

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<v Speaker 1>let's take a quick break and we will come back

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<v Speaker 1>and talk a little bit more about what happens on

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<v Speaker 1>this ghostly journey right after this. Alright, So the lunar

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<v Speaker 1>cycles have something to do with this as well, because

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<v Speaker 1>apparently they tend to appear usually during the last four

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<v Speaker 1>Hawaiian moon phases when it's darkest. Yeah, Hawaii has their

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<v Speaker 1>own lunar phases, and they're more distinct than ours. They

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<v Speaker 1>have like thirty of them where we have like eight.

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<v Speaker 1>It's pretty incredible. And their last four are Kanie, Lono,

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<v Speaker 1>Mauli and Muku and Ralph and they're basically the right

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<v Speaker 1>and they're the h and Curly Joe. They're the dark

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<v Speaker 1>dark phases of the moon. Yeah, so it's it's darkest

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<v Speaker 1>out then. Uh. They're usually mark marching toward uh some

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<v Speaker 1>very sacred sites or very popular and notable cultural sites. Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>And like we said, if you hear this and you're like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my goodness, let me go check this out, just

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<v Speaker 1>don't do it because you're gonna die even though it's

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<v Speaker 1>not real, right. Uh. If you are in an ancestor

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<v Speaker 1>uh and you have some kind of family tie to

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<v Speaker 1>someone in the march, they know to respect it, but

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<v Speaker 1>you will also be protected. Right. So here's the thing,

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<v Speaker 1>Like if you if it turns out that you happen

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<v Speaker 1>just coincidentally to be a um a distant descendant of

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<v Speaker 1>one of the ghosts on the march in this procession,

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<v Speaker 1>they will say this, this person is one of my descendants,

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<v Speaker 1>and don't kill him, and and we'll just go ahead

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<v Speaker 1>and encapsulate him. At least that last part about capsulating

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<v Speaker 1>him or protecting him or her. Uh comes from Akhuna,

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<v Speaker 1>a real life cahuna um by the name of Lopaca

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<v Speaker 1>Kappa Neui. Is he the big Cahuna? I think he's

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<v Speaker 1>just a regular khuna, okay, but he is a kind

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<v Speaker 1>of a cultural historian and uh a khuna again, kind

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<v Speaker 1>of a spiritual leader of um Hawaiian culture. And he

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<v Speaker 1>said that at one point he encountered one of these

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<v Speaker 1>night march ghostly processions and he was protected ostensibly because

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<v Speaker 1>one of his distant relatives was one of the marchers. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>there's another couple of things that can save you. One

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<v Speaker 1>as if you have a plant, very specific plant called

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<v Speaker 1>the t I guess t I I think so it

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<v Speaker 1>is an evergreen plant. And if you have that planet

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<v Speaker 1>around your home, which I bet a lot of houses

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<v Speaker 1>in Hawaii do, just for maybe superstitious sake, you will

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<v Speaker 1>be protected it. And the other is if you just

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<v Speaker 1>happen to be out there and you come across one

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<v Speaker 1>of these marching groups you are too and you're accidentally

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<v Speaker 1>make eye contact. You're like, hey, what's up man, and

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<v Speaker 1>they're like, you're about to die and they say the

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<v Speaker 1>thing you were supposed to strip down naked, lay down,

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<v Speaker 1>face down on the ground, close your eyes, p yourself

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<v Speaker 1>in play dead. Yeah, just basically showing complete deference and

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<v Speaker 1>fealty to these things, to these ghostly warriors in their

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<v Speaker 1>king And the p yourself was not a chuck joke.

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<v Speaker 1>That's for real. They say to urinate if you can,

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<v Speaker 1>and that they'll they'll be like, wow, I guess that worked.

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<v Speaker 1>We scared the p out of them. Yeah. Another another

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<v Speaker 1>UM piece of advice is not to whistle at night,

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<v Speaker 1>because apparently legend has it, you might accidentally summon the

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<v Speaker 1>night marchers. UM. And I don't know if there's any

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<v Speaker 1>more advice. I think, Oh, run, that's that's what um

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<v Speaker 1>Lopaca can Kappa Nui says. He says, if you start

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<v Speaker 1>to hear those drums at night in the distance, or

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<v Speaker 1>you hear a conk show, or you start to apparently

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<v Speaker 1>you can smell rotting flesh that's part of it, um,

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<v Speaker 1>or if you start to see those torches coming towards you,

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<v Speaker 1>you should just just run, don't stick around. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 1>this and this how stuff works article I said, don't

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<v Speaker 1>stop to take selfies like some people done have done

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<v Speaker 1>in the past. Just run Is that all just stungue

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<v Speaker 1>in cheek? I I don't know. I can't tell anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>The border between real and supernatural has been completely crossed.

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<v Speaker 1>I totally agree. I don't know if I need to

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<v Speaker 1>go to Hawaii now because I have made fun of

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<v Speaker 1>this and they they know I'm doing so you are

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<v Speaker 1>going to love it, Chuck, all right, you gotta go

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<v Speaker 1>and you're gonna love it, Okay, all right, Well we'll

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<v Speaker 1>see everybody in Hawaii. Because short stuff is out. Stuff

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<v Speaker 1>you should know is production of iHeart Radios. How Stuff works.

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