1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha. 2 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,480 Speaker 2: And welcome to Steph. I've never told your direction No, iHeartRadio. 3 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 1: Yes, and y'all. 4 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:24,280 Speaker 3: In the world of finding that perfect mate or mates, 5 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 3: trying to find a compatible partner is still hard. That's 6 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 3: what we've discovered recently. Had some social time with friends. Yes, 7 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 3: I actually went out surprise, and the group was mixed 8 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 3: up with a lot of different people with different stages 9 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 3: in their relationship, which is interesting to me. Surprisingly, the 10 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 3: number of couples married couples of the group worth of minority. 11 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 3: I think there was only like two people who were 12 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:51,519 Speaker 3: married out of the group of twenty. We had several 13 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 3: thirty year olds who were single then in the group, 14 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 3: and then we had a few long term couples who 15 00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 3: are not quite married. We did have a couple of 16 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 3: people who lived with you know, had people who lived 17 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 3: they lived with, which apparently is still a no no 18 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 3: according to most of the sites. They said that cohabiting 19 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 3: can actually set you up to fail, which I think 20 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 3: is still odd to be I don't understand that or 21 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 3: whatever we'll see, won't we just kidding? And then we 22 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 3: had one or two divorced people I believe in that 23 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 3: mix us, well, not too many. They were just as like, 24 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,680 Speaker 3: probably around the same as the married couple, so fifty 25 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,839 Speaker 3: to fifty aha statistics. 26 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 1: I guess it was. 27 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 3: A true mixed bag, which naturally led into a lot 28 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 3: of stories of dating and having a conversation about that 29 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:43,119 Speaker 3: and what was happening today and guess what, Annie, dating 30 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 3: is still scary. 31 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: Just want you to know this. 32 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 3: Newly divorced people who met their previous partners at school 33 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 3: or the old school way of like you know, a 34 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 3: meet cute, as you and I have taught before, have 35 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 3: recently been venturing into the online dating world and have 36 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 3: cotten quickly overwhelm at not only the characters they sometimes 37 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 3: oftentimes rather meet, but the swiftness of the timeline of 38 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 3: online dating, which you and I have talked about previously 39 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 3: about how like it just goes quickly because you talk, 40 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 3: and if you talk too long, either it fizzles out 41 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 3: very quickly or you're expected to like jump into a 42 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 3: relationship because you quote unquote know each other, which begs 43 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 3: the question has it changed much in the last couple 44 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 3: of years, Because we definitely did have an episode about 45 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 3: online dating or dating in the era of a pandemic 46 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 3: and though the pandemic has not necessarily stopped or like 47 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 3: has gone away, because COVID still exists. 48 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 1: Things are spreading more things are spreading. We talked about 49 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,079 Speaker 1: malaria not too long ago, and. 50 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 2: That's the thing. 51 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,840 Speaker 3: But all these things are still happening. But we are 52 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 3: now going out. As I said, I went out and 53 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 3: hung out with a group of people and I was 54 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,080 Speaker 3: very awkward and tired. 55 00:02:57,919 --> 00:02:59,519 Speaker 1: So what does it look like today? 56 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 3: So first we're going to talk about statistics, because that's 57 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 3: what we do, statistics of dating and what exactly is happening. 58 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 3: One thing for sure, many adults in the US find 59 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 3: it hard to date today. Nearly half the Americans believe 60 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 3: it's gotten harder to date in the last ten years, 61 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:21,919 Speaker 3: and not too surprisingly, women especially find it hard to date, 62 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 3: with like fifty five percent of them attesting to the fact. 63 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:28,120 Speaker 3: And this is from a twenty twenty Pew research article. 64 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 3: And I know that's pre or I guess I'm mid 65 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:34,239 Speaker 3: of the pandemic. Those numbers have only increased by the way, 66 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 3: and within those stats, at least sixty two percent of 67 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 3: the Black women and fifty percent of Hispanic women would 68 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 3: agree to that, so their numbers are even higher, and 69 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 3: women are twice as likely to say that it is 70 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 3: due to increased risks that dating has become harder. And 71 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 3: I don't think that's surprising. We've talked about it repeatedly, 72 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 3: about how dangerous is to date, how dangerous is to 73 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 3: turn someone down. I feel like my TikTok videos, a 74 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 3: lot of them are like men asking women why their 75 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 3: standards are so high, and then women have an explained 76 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 3: because half or why their standards are so low. It's 77 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 3: one or the other, there's no in between. And then 78 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 3: having to come back to the we have to play 79 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 3: it safe for the sake of our own health literally 80 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 3: physical well being, because. 81 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,600 Speaker 1: We might die. 82 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 3: And then things like what's happened on the news in 83 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 3: Canada recently with the stabbing in the gender studies class, 84 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 3: which is one more thing to add to like, yeah, 85 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 3: we're petrified of men, and this is why, and this 86 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,920 Speaker 3: is why. There are other statistics that are a bit 87 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,839 Speaker 3: more surprising, like the fact that a majority didn't think 88 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 3: that online dating made it harder or easier to date, 89 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 3: which I assume there would be an opinion, but there wasn't. 90 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:51,239 Speaker 3: And here's a quote from Americansurvey Center dot org about 91 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 3: the gender divide on why dating is difficult. Many Americans 92 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,600 Speaker 3: believe that dating has become more difficult than it once was, 93 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 3: but men and women just agree somewhat about whether dating 94 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 3: is more difficult for women or for men. The majority 95 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,479 Speaker 3: of Americans, including most Americans who are single, do not 96 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 3: believe that dating is any more difficult for men or women. 97 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,520 Speaker 3: More than six and ten, sixty two percent of Americans 98 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 3: say that when it comes to dating, neither men or 99 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 3: women have a more difficult experience, which is countering. 100 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 1: What we just talked about. 101 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,840 Speaker 3: Roughly equal numbers of Americans believe that dating is more 102 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 3: difficult to men seventy percent, as say it is more 103 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 3: difficult for women at nineteen percent. So obviously these are 104 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 3: different numbers than what we said above. 105 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: I would resent or cling. 106 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:39,360 Speaker 3: To the Pew numbers. I think, who actually knew this? 107 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 3: But whatever, and it goes on. There are predictable differences 108 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 3: between men and women. Women are more likely to believe 109 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 3: that dating presents greater challenges to women twenty seven percent, 110 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 3: while men are more likely to believe that men twenty 111 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 3: eight percent face greater challenges when it comes to dating. 112 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:57,479 Speaker 3: Gender differences are most pronounced among young adults. Thirty percent 113 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 3: of young men believe that men have a harder time 114 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 3: when it comes to dating, while more than one in 115 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,640 Speaker 3: three thirty four percent believe they face greater difficulties in dating. 116 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 3: So I think the younger and that does come into play. 117 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 3: By the way, the gen zs versus versus the millennials 118 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,800 Speaker 3: pretty interesting, and I think that has a lot to 119 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 3: do with the conversation that men believe feminism has made 120 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,279 Speaker 3: it harder and the hashtag me too has made it 121 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 3: harder for them to date, so they are more likely 122 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 3: to whine about that, And I said. 123 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:30,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I think it's also like it's a 124 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 2: really unfortunate, toxic part of a lot of our modern 125 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:39,039 Speaker 2: especially like heteroinormative dating, is that women do have to 126 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 2: take these precautions, and men who maybe aren't creeps are 127 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 2: kind of getting reapuffed by women who are worried that 128 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,600 Speaker 2: they might be. And so it just kind of like 129 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:56,479 Speaker 2: exacerbates it's it's like it gets it's it's not good 130 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 2: for anybody, no, but for anybody no, all right, But 131 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,320 Speaker 2: with that to no one surprise. Online dating is one 132 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,919 Speaker 2: of the most used forms of finding a date or 133 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 2: a partner in twenty twenty two, three hundred and sixty 134 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 2: six million users were on a dating app, which is 135 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 2: over forty five million more than the previous year, of 136 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 2: which three out of four were looking to find a 137 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 2: committed relationship. And LGBTQ users are two times as likely 138 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 2: to use a dating app fifty five percent of LGBTQ 139 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 2: users versus twenty eight percent of straight users. And with that, 140 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 2: over thirteen percent of online users got engaged or married 141 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 2: from a dating app, but twenty three point seven percent 142 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,720 Speaker 2: claim they have not gone on more than two dates. 143 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 2: But even with those types of statistics, fifty four percent 144 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 2: of the online users say that relationships started online are 145 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 2: just as successful as those started IRL. And the stigma 146 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 2: has changed with time, as where once once it was 147 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 2: something a lot of people would about our makeup, the 148 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 2: meet cute, the how we met stories, it is now 149 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 2: common enough that meeting people IRL first is more unusual 150 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,120 Speaker 2: or that's how it seems. 151 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 3: Yes, especially my group of people, me telling about my 152 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 3: partner and I who met because we were neighbors versus 153 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 3: the online dating is unusual. So here's one more study, 154 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 3: as reported by the Americansurveycenter dot org about dating and 155 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 3: the gender divide. The January twenty twenty three American Perspective 156 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 3: Survey shed some light on dating preferences, experiences, and perspectives. 157 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 3: The national survey of more than five thousand adults age 158 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 3: eighteen and older, including nearly eight hundred single adults, finds 159 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 3: that Americans have strong dating preferences when it comes to 160 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 3: living at home, being unemployed, and smoking. These are especially 161 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 3: salient considerations for women. Politics is another important consideration for 162 00:08:55,360 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 3: many Americans, especially committed partisans. Most Republicans and Democrats say 163 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 3: they would be much less interested in dating those of 164 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:05,959 Speaker 3: the opposite political persuasions. And we talked about that during 165 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 3: the pandemic, especially with the Trump administration. 166 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 1: That brought a huge divide very quickly. And it has 167 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 1: not gotten any better, No, any better. 168 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,560 Speaker 3: And yeah, once again, as we mentioned numerous times, less 169 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,959 Speaker 3: and less people are inclined to get married. From that 170 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 3: same American Survey article. Marriage is also facing an increasing 171 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 3: competition from other types of social arrangements, such as cohabitation. 172 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 3: The number of Americans cohabitating with their romantic partner has 173 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 3: more than doubled over the past three decades. Is become 174 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:43,200 Speaker 3: a widely accepted practice, particularly among younger Americans. I'm going 175 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 3: to put myself in that younger category. Nearly six to 176 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:50,199 Speaker 3: ten younger Americans report having cohabitated with a romantic partner. 177 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 3: Nowhere is the decline of marriage more evident than the 178 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,319 Speaker 3: lives of young adults. Overall, more than one in three 179 00:09:56,360 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 3: Americans have never been married. Only twenty five percent of 180 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 3: young adults ages eighteen to thirty four are currently married, 181 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 3: a dramatic decline over the past few decades. In nineteen 182 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 3: seventy eight, younger adults who are almost twice as likely 183 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 3: to be married as fifty nine percent. That is a huge, 184 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 3: significant decrease. 185 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, yep. And it looks like with all of this, 186 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,839 Speaker 2: women are even less interested in dating after the pandemic. 187 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 2: Here's some more numbers for you from the American Survey Center. 188 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:32,440 Speaker 2: Single women are much more likely than single men to 189 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,680 Speaker 2: say this is a major reason they are not dating, 190 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:39,600 Speaker 2: forty five percent versus twenty nine percent, respectively. An identical number, 191 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 2: thirty six percent of single Americans say that difficulty meeting 192 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:46,320 Speaker 2: people is a major reason they are not dating. Roughly 193 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 2: equal numbers of single men thirty five percent and single 194 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 2: women thirty eight percent say this is a major factor. 195 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,320 Speaker 2: Not being able to find someone who measures up is 196 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:59,720 Speaker 2: another important reason many American sites. Of single Americans, thirty 197 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 2: percent say that not being able to find someone who 198 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 2: meets their expectations is a major reason they are not dating. 199 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 2: Women cite this as a factor more often than men do. 200 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 2: Nearly four and ten or thirty eight percent single women, 201 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,000 Speaker 2: compared to less than one quarter twenty three percent of 202 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 2: single men say an inability to find someone who meets 203 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,520 Speaker 2: their expectations it's a major reason they are not dating. 204 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,320 Speaker 2: This is an especially salient issue for college educated women. 205 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 2: Close to half forty five percent of college educated women 206 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 2: say not being able to find someone who meets their 207 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:35,679 Speaker 2: expectations is a major factor, while only twenty eight percent 208 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 2: of women without a college education feel the same. This 209 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 2: education gap is slightly smaller among men. One third thirty 210 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 2: three percent of college educated men claim not finding someone 211 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,040 Speaker 2: who meets their standards it's a major factor for them, 212 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 2: compared to nineteen percent of non college educated men. 213 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 1: That college thing really gets at them. 214 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 2: That's why, that's why the conservatives rail against it. To 215 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 2: go to your liberal college and then ye whant to 216 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,079 Speaker 2: get married. 217 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,240 Speaker 3: It's true, you got out of the kitchen and get 218 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:08,959 Speaker 3: some learning, and then you don't, and you're gonna die alone. 219 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 1: No one's gonna take care of for your dog. I'm 220 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 1: okay with them. 221 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 3: And some of the reasons maybe due to men. And 222 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:20,079 Speaker 3: we're speaking here in the heteronumber of standards not meeting 223 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 3: expectations and the women having more deal breakers. Uh, And 224 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 3: I'm I'm a firm believer in sticking to those deal breakers. 225 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,679 Speaker 3: It's okay to have them. The same article Rights, Women 226 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 3: more than men, report having a greater number of potential 227 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 3: deal breakers when it comes to dating. They are also 228 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,240 Speaker 3: more likely to report having difficulty finding someone who meets 229 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:43,200 Speaker 3: their expectations. But for many young women, dating expectations refer 230 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 3: less to a laundry list of must have qualities and 231 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 3: more to basic standards of how they wish to be treated. 232 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:49,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. 233 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 1: I feel that shouldn't be a surprise. 234 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:57,079 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I feel like they also had to say it. 235 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 2: It's true, It's true. I've said before. One of the reasons, 236 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 2: Like my ex and I when we were having like 237 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:10,320 Speaker 2: our exit breakup survey, I was like, you, We're never 238 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:13,000 Speaker 2: gonna I'm always gonna feel more responsible to do things 239 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 2: like domestic things, than you, and it's how we were 240 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 2: both raised. And I can't change that way. Like we 241 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,040 Speaker 2: can work on it, we could talk about it, but 242 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 2: the truth is I'm gonna end up presenting you and 243 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,880 Speaker 2: you're presenting me. We're not on the same level. 244 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 1: I don't know. 245 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,560 Speaker 3: I wonder if people can find that even today, like 246 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 3: especially I say that in my generation, I feel like 247 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 3: gen zers may have better luck. But I'm I am 248 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 3: a elder millennial, like I am still quite on the 249 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 3: cusp of being a gen xer, you know, so I 250 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,600 Speaker 3: think my generation is a little different, even more old 251 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:51,040 Speaker 3: fashioned than the younger and younger like that, right, the 252 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 3: newer millennials huh? Anyway, sad And yeah, as we talked 253 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,360 Speaker 3: about in our earlier dating episodes, politics and beliefs are 254 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 3: pretty high on the list of possible green or red flags. 255 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,840 Speaker 3: Issues like abortion, voting, habits, and religious beliefs are high 256 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,319 Speaker 3: on the list of considerations. 257 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 1: We've talked about our own standards. 258 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 3: And yeah, if you've voted for Trump at any point, 259 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 3: even if you think it's a mistake today, probably not. 260 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,080 Speaker 1: No, you're you're already man like xed out. 261 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 2: This is your fault. 262 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 1: Where we are Today's your fault. You specifically, I don't 263 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:23,920 Speaker 1: know who you are, but you. 264 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 2: Yes. Okay, so let's talk about some of the best 265 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 2: ways to meet possible partners. According to the not dot Com, 266 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,360 Speaker 2: these are the top dating trends of twenty twenty three according. 267 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,720 Speaker 3: To experts, Wait, do you know what the not dot 268 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 3: com is? 269 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 2: That's like the wedding Yeah, okay, it's like the wedding registration. 270 00:14:53,360 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 4: I've I've been to weddings. I'm telling you checking that's fair. 271 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 4: I still love that. You could hear it on the 272 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 4: Daily Zeitgeist when they said me cute, and I had 273 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,280 Speaker 4: no idea what they were talking about, and I just 274 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,720 Speaker 4: tried to pretend for a second, and then it just 275 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 4: became very clear. 276 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 2: I did not know, don't know what sounds fair? All right? 277 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 2: Infla dating, which is a term coined by Plenty of Fish, 278 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:28,360 Speaker 2: the app which states is quote going on less expensive 279 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:32,720 Speaker 2: dates due to inflation in the current economic environment, rising 280 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:36,080 Speaker 2: prices are affecting all aspects of our lives, including dating. 281 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,480 Speaker 2: Nearly half forty eight percent of single millennials and gen 282 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 2: z have suggested going on a less expensive, budget friendly date, which, 283 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 2: by the way, I think is just smart. I don't 284 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,200 Speaker 2: think inflation or not. Don't put too much pressure on 285 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 2: that date, that first date, especially especially the first date. 286 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 2: H conscious swiping, and that's exactly what it sounds like. 287 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 2: It's conscientiously swiping. Combatible choices are dating with intention which 288 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,800 Speaker 2: we talked about some people it's really gamified in a 289 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,240 Speaker 2: lot of instances. Yeah, so this is sort of the 290 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 2: answer to that. 291 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:12,320 Speaker 3: So others could be avoiding situationships we talked about this 292 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 3: term before, the kind of together but not really you know, 293 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 3: more than the body, but not a full relationship, and 294 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 3: follows along the intentional dating idea. 295 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:25,920 Speaker 1: So don't do those essentially sober dates. 296 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 3: Which again is exactly how it sounds choosing to date 297 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:34,320 Speaker 3: with drinking less and the overall alcohol consumption, as noted 298 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 3: on tender has decreased for dating habits, which is not 299 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:42,400 Speaker 3: how I did it, but it's probably the recommended way 300 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 3: to do this. And this would replace dates revolved around 301 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,720 Speaker 3: eating and drinking to more creative outings that test each 302 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 3: other's compatibility. So, I don't know, maybe finding a hobby 303 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 3: hiking I did. I actually ran with a dude as 304 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:58,720 Speaker 3: a date that was really awkward. 305 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, that doesn't sound like good. 306 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 3: That was when I was in my half marathon face too. 307 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 3: I was like, okay, let's go. But this dude was 308 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 3: like six foot two and my five foot four self like, 309 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 3: I'm not a I'm a paste runner. When I was right, 310 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 3: So this dude's going, I'm like, I'm fine, and I 311 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,280 Speaker 3: sweat real bad and I turned it real red, so 312 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:18,440 Speaker 3: it was not cute. 313 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,040 Speaker 2: That's like a good like we've been dating for a while, 314 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 2: but not an early date. 315 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 1: I don't know why we did. 316 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,960 Speaker 3: I don't know why we did this, but we did anyway. 317 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:32,359 Speaker 3: And then there's research back dating tips like listening to 318 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 3: this episode or other episodes about dating and learning who 319 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:39,479 Speaker 3: you are, your attachment styles, learning what red flags look for, 320 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 3: and looking out for negative or manipulative behaviors. 321 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:49,959 Speaker 2: I think that one's really important. Yes, building healthy habits 322 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:53,120 Speaker 2: with tech with all kinds of apps for all kinds 323 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 2: of things such as meditation apps, life coaching apps, building 324 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 2: better habit apps, people have so much more access so 325 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,200 Speaker 2: for those who take advantage of the tech that help 326 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:08,360 Speaker 2: build healthier habits, it could help build healthier relationships as 327 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:11,600 Speaker 2: well as so this list says I would also say, 328 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:15,600 Speaker 2: like there's a caution especially for someone like me, Like 329 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,720 Speaker 2: you mentioned that checklist earlier, like don't get too forear 330 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:19,280 Speaker 2: into that. 331 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,440 Speaker 3: Don't get too obsessive, and to that level, like it 332 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,520 Speaker 3: has to be all these things because. 333 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,680 Speaker 2: By thirty it has to be this or don't do that. 334 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:35,879 Speaker 2: Chasing the meet cute irl. As with everything in the world, 335 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 2: we have come back to appreciating the meat cute or 336 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,320 Speaker 2: spontaneous meeting. Many are trying to create situations where they 337 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:46,000 Speaker 2: can meet someone in person, according going to home depot 338 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 2: and just asking around, which does sound like a nightmare, 339 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 2: but you know, you do you. This was the the 340 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 2: advice I used to give to my friends who really 341 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 2: wanted to date. It was always like, just pursue what 342 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:01,800 Speaker 2: you really like in a like kind of fashion and 343 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:02,880 Speaker 2: just see what happens. 344 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:08,200 Speaker 3: Like romantically, I think people would do like an intermittent sports. 345 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, to do this, to try to meet. 346 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,200 Speaker 3: People, find new hobbies. There are meetups. 347 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,480 Speaker 1: Is this something I think so? 348 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,479 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure during the pandemic it took a hit, 349 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:19,400 Speaker 2: but I'm pretty sure. 350 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 3: I think though it's majority made up of women, So 351 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 3: if you're a queer woman, just wo'd be great. 352 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,560 Speaker 2: But I mean, again, going back to that like safety thing. 353 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 2: I'm sure like if there's a group of people in 354 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,399 Speaker 2: the same boat, you feel a little better. 355 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:35,880 Speaker 3: There's still the speed dating Annie, if you ever want 356 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 3: to try that too. I've never heard of being successful 357 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:39,720 Speaker 3: for anyone, but I'm just. 358 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:46,720 Speaker 2: Saying, listeners if anyone has had it successful or not 359 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:47,920 Speaker 2: ready to. 360 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 3: Know, because I'm still curious about stuff like that. So 361 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,960 Speaker 3: there's some of the current trends. But since we brought 362 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 3: up the old school meet cues, we wanted to see 363 00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,400 Speaker 3: if the old school tradition of blind dates is still happening, 364 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,719 Speaker 3: and according to one article, it is on the rise. 365 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,440 Speaker 1: But it's actually app based. 366 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:11,639 Speaker 3: So there is one called blindly b l I n 367 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:16,160 Speaker 3: d l EE, which is a quote blind dating app 368 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 3: that hosts three minute blurred video calls between users who 369 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:24,400 Speaker 3: match each other's criteria. In app, pop ups offer icebreaker prompts, 370 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:28,159 Speaker 3: and as time goes on, the option to gradually unblur 371 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:32,679 Speaker 3: the video image. After three minutes, the app asks participants 372 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,440 Speaker 3: if they want to continue the conversation. 373 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,160 Speaker 1: If they both say. 374 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 3: Yes, only then we'll it create a match and of 375 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:44,320 Speaker 3: conversation can continue. So the co founder of the site, 376 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,000 Speaker 3: Sasha how I say it's right, Nason said of the app, 377 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 3: we have seen there is a very high likelihood that 378 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 3: people will continue chatting via messages or videos because they 379 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:58,400 Speaker 3: already had this ice breaking moment. And yeah, this app 380 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:02,200 Speaker 3: launched in twenty nineteen and has grown since the pandemic, 381 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 3: and it's currently at fifty thousand users. 382 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,840 Speaker 2: Hmmm, and more blind date apps like this have popped up. 383 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,120 Speaker 2: Many sites blur out photos or don't reveal photos until 384 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,440 Speaker 2: after a certain amount of messages are sent, perhaps inspired 385 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,440 Speaker 2: by things like Love Is Blind, the reality series. Although 386 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,919 Speaker 2: one of the big concerns with sites like these is 387 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,960 Speaker 2: that people post the risk of being catfished, but different 388 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,720 Speaker 2: sites have assured users that they verify all users. I 389 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,280 Speaker 2: don't know how I was thinking about this. There's a 390 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:31,920 Speaker 2: horror movie based on this, by the way, of course 391 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:37,960 Speaker 2: it is. It's really good actually, But I was thinking 392 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,639 Speaker 2: about because I've had some friends tell me going back 393 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,400 Speaker 2: to one of those statistics you said earlier about women 394 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,040 Speaker 2: during the pandemic wanting to date less is that they 395 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 2: don't feel comfortable with their bodies anymore during the pandemic, 396 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,240 Speaker 2: And so I wonder if that's part of the appeal 397 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,439 Speaker 2: with this or not I would be interested to know. 398 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,159 Speaker 2: I've just had a handful of friends say something like 399 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,919 Speaker 2: that to me that they don't feel comfortable with whatever 400 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,680 Speaker 2: weight they've gained during the pandemic, that they don't want 401 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:10,560 Speaker 2: to date anymore. All right, So, speaking of apps, old, new, 402 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,000 Speaker 2: and faves, here are some of the top apps today 403 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,119 Speaker 2: as well as some of the newest ones, according to 404 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 2: MindBodyGreen dot com. Here are some best serious relationship app 405 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:24,680 Speaker 2: e Harmony, best dating over fifty, Match best dating app 406 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 2: for kink Field best dating over forty, Okay Cupid best 407 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:34,439 Speaker 2: for women, Bumble best for young adults, Hinge best for gayman, 408 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:39,879 Speaker 2: Grinder best for lesbians, her best for working professionals, the League, 409 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,719 Speaker 2: which is very expensive and best for hookups is Tender, 410 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 2: which my friends have echoed a lot of these sentiments. 411 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't realize okay Cupid was over forty because 412 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,360 Speaker 3: I was using it early thirties. 413 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 2: Well, I mean that's probably changed, just more things of 414 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:56,440 Speaker 2: entered the maybe the field. Yeah yeah. 415 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,960 Speaker 3: As in fact, here are some new ones for twenty 416 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:03,960 Speaker 3: twenty three according to datingadvice dot com. The Sauce, which 417 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 3: uses video chats and video profile features and apparently ninety 418 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,400 Speaker 3: five percent of Sauce dates lead to a second date, 419 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,320 Speaker 3: so you know they're ras statistic. Stir is a sister 420 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 3: app to Match and is specific to single parents. Snack 421 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:24,280 Speaker 3: which by these names things are getting with. Okay, Snack 422 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:28,439 Speaker 3: specifically aimed toward gen zers and is marketed as not 423 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,200 Speaker 3: your parents Dating app, which makes me feel really old, 424 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,200 Speaker 3: really really old, because I have believe I was using 425 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,680 Speaker 3: the apps that would be considered your parents dating app. 426 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:42,359 Speaker 3: That's fine, I'm fine. Frome or first Rounds on Me 427 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 3: is designed to quote encourage people to be more confident 428 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:50,600 Speaker 3: in themselves and their quests for companionship through face to 429 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 3: face interaction. So in this app, a user literally sends 430 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,960 Speaker 3: a drink request with a type of drink, date, time, 431 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:02,080 Speaker 3: and location, and then the receipt can change details, accept 432 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 3: or decline, and if it's set, they just meet up. 433 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:09,639 Speaker 3: Huh okay, that's whole intention tap that And I'm sorry, 434 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:13,320 Speaker 3: but that is tap dat. I'm not trying to use 435 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 3: ab or being sarcastic in anyway. It is a straight 436 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 3: up hookup site. So they're trying to replace Tender I 437 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 3: think smile And from the dating article, it says software 438 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 3: engineer Melissa Mullen created the Smile app after realizing that 439 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,240 Speaker 3: her best relationships have been with people who shared her humor. 440 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 3: She designed Smile to match singles based on shared sense 441 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 3: of humor. On Smile, you're paired with each potential match 442 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,960 Speaker 3: based on what you have in common. Comedically, after a 443 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 3: few hours of chatting, you can see what your match 444 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:50,360 Speaker 3: looks like. But the laughs come first is a great 445 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 3: way to keep dating fun while avoiding focusing on less 446 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:58,159 Speaker 3: important things like superficial appearance or social media presence. I 447 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,639 Speaker 3: really like that idea because I'm pretty funny, damn it. 448 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a certain type of humor. 449 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:13,320 Speaker 3: But yeah, but yeah, I found that interesting. It was like, huh, 450 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 3: I wonder how that goes to you? Like pick out comedians? 451 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:17,480 Speaker 3: Do you pick out movies? 452 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 1: How do you? 453 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:20,840 Speaker 3: How do you even get there? So if someone has 454 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,840 Speaker 3: to use this, I need to know because it sounds 455 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:26,120 Speaker 3: like a really great idea. Yeah, but well how does 456 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 3: it work? 457 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:27,680 Speaker 1: Yeah? 458 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:31,240 Speaker 3: And uh, these are just a few if you're trying 459 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,560 Speaker 3: to find different options today. There there's more on that list. Again, 460 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:38,240 Speaker 3: it was from datingadvice dot Com and they had several 461 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,960 Speaker 3: other They had zeusk on there, which is not new, 462 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 3: but I guess it's gotten more popular as of late. 463 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,880 Speaker 3: But there's some more if you if you. 464 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 2: So want to go check them out some more. But 465 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 2: with all of that, interestingly, several of the Alumni apps 466 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,960 Speaker 2: have been accused of trickery, anding Hinge, who recently was 467 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 2: accused on TikTok for gatekeeping the better matches. Now, with 468 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 2: more and more apps adding an upgraded version of their 469 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 2: apps for a subscription fee, it wouldn't be too surprising 470 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:17,000 Speaker 2: to see this happen on any site. There are those 471 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,520 Speaker 2: who found a way to skirt around gatekeeping and teach 472 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:24,840 Speaker 2: others to do the same. So users, but essentially, yeah, 473 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:26,440 Speaker 2: you have to pay for the good. 474 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,199 Speaker 3: Matches, right, and that's I mean, like whether it's like 475 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:33,440 Speaker 3: you can request specific types of conversations. I think like 476 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,520 Speaker 3: I don't know if it was coffee meat's bagel, like 477 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 3: if you wanted to have more than two. 478 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,400 Speaker 1: Matches a day, you had to pay. It's definitely all 479 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: out there. 480 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,960 Speaker 3: But Hinge was specifically accused of holding back some of 481 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,560 Speaker 3: their better quality of people. And then one user was like, 482 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,600 Speaker 3: so all you really need to do is deny all 483 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,640 Speaker 3: of them, Just just swipe no on all of them 484 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 3: and then eventually they have to give it to you 485 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,760 Speaker 3: because you run out of people or they're gonna lose 486 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 3: you all together. So I was like, well, that's smart 487 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,359 Speaker 3: at the same time because it's sad because do you 488 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 3: miss out because but because if you're on there long enough, 489 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,760 Speaker 3: people repeat, you see them on. 490 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:11,440 Speaker 2: Everything from according to my friends, I've never used one. 491 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 1: Maybe it's just Lenda is the smallest. I think. 492 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,840 Speaker 3: We've talked about the fact that I have never matched 493 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,879 Speaker 3: with the same person as one of my friends because 494 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:24,479 Speaker 3: we had very different taste, which is surprising because all 495 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:25,200 Speaker 3: of us were on there. 496 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,560 Speaker 2: But yeah, that was like my greatest year. As one 497 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:28,720 Speaker 2: of the reasons I never used one. 498 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:32,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, or we have made sure like if we match 499 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,000 Speaker 3: with someone like we would check with each other. 500 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:35,480 Speaker 1: Have you seen this, dude? Have you been on? 501 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 2: Yeah? 502 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 1: That was always a good way to go to. 503 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,280 Speaker 3: But with all of this, a new article written in 504 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:44,040 Speaker 3: The New York Times suggests that women are actually taking 505 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,280 Speaker 3: the summer off. 506 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:46,520 Speaker 1: Of online dating. 507 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 3: In the article, written by Gina chirellis I really hope 508 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,320 Speaker 3: I said that correctly? She says as the days grow 509 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,080 Speaker 3: longer and the weather warmer, there are some who are 510 00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 3: opting out of dating apps, at least for now. Of 511 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:02,720 Speaker 3: nearly a women interviewed, many said they were reclaiming this 512 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,720 Speaker 3: time that had spent in the cold winter months swiping 513 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:10,080 Speaker 3: through dating apps by prioritizing real life encounters and focusing 514 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 3: on having fun. Many women interviewed in the article spoke 515 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,840 Speaker 3: of being burnt out from online dating scenes, tired of 516 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,040 Speaker 3: casually dating or matching up with people who were not compatible. 517 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:21,800 Speaker 3: So a lot of them were like they were doing 518 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,679 Speaker 3: casual dating and a lot of women were looking for relationships. 519 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,920 Speaker 3: They'd been on the site since the beginning of dating apps, 520 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:31,159 Speaker 3: and they were tired of this conversation. So yeah, and 521 00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:34,120 Speaker 3: like we said before, they kind of regurgitate the same men. 522 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:36,840 Speaker 3: It's almost like you guys are all and I say 523 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,520 Speaker 3: you guys myself included, like I would be on the 524 00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,960 Speaker 3: same timeline of like, well that didn't work, I'm back. 525 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:46,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it is exhausting going on dates, Like it 526 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,960 Speaker 2: can be really fun, but if it's over and over 527 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 2: and over, you're like, yeah, I just want to go home. 528 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,440 Speaker 3: You just put down the phone, delete everything, just like 529 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:59,600 Speaker 3: crawl a bit a fetal position, how your dog or 530 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,960 Speaker 3: go out outside and not fun, but it's ridiculous, Annie, 531 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 3: how dare you be proactive? 532 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:05,959 Speaker 1: Healthy? 533 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:12,240 Speaker 3: Or perhaps some of them are having even worse experiences, 534 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:14,400 Speaker 3: like those who had been chatfished. 535 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:16,480 Speaker 1: And though it's. 536 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,960 Speaker 3: Been around for longer than I had realized. Actually, the 537 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 3: trend of chatfishing or a practice in which men from 538 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 3: in cell communities set up a fake dating profile posing 539 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 3: as chads. And this is like the perfect dude who 540 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 3: can get any girl, according to in cells, And if 541 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 3: you want to know more about that, you can listen 542 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,400 Speaker 3: to our earlier in cell episode. And they do this 543 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,360 Speaker 3: in order to trick and humiliate women. 544 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 2: Right, here's a little bit of an explanation from the 545 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,840 Speaker 2: Daily dot dot com. The dupe involves fooling women into 546 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:50,239 Speaker 2: virtual relationships using fake Tinder profiles, just like catfishing, but 547 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 2: instead of pretending to be perfect, in cells use these 548 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:56,360 Speaker 2: accounts to act like a chad slang for conventionally attractive 549 00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:00,000 Speaker 2: men with awful personalities who still manage to attract women. 550 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 2: The in cell or involuntarily celibate community often blames these 551 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:09,400 Speaker 2: conceptualized men for its member's own sexual failings, while threats 552 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,720 Speaker 2: about chad fish and go back as far as twenty sixteen, 553 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,520 Speaker 2: it became a trend within the in cell community. Just 554 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 2: last year, men angry at their perceived inability to attract 555 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:23,080 Speaker 2: sexual partners because of these supposed chads called the practice 556 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:28,760 Speaker 2: the ultimate black pill, essentially proof that their ghastly assumptions 557 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:32,280 Speaker 2: about what women wanted in a relationship were right. After 558 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,479 Speaker 2: chatting with women on tender, the chad fishers would ghost 559 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:40,480 Speaker 2: the women or share their nudes without consent. Ironically, many 560 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 2: men found that even while pretending to be a chad, 561 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:46,120 Speaker 2: they still struggled to convince women to sleep with them, 562 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:51,680 Speaker 2: and a few or even ghosted themselves, which is just glorious. 563 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:52,720 Speaker 1: It was ironic. 564 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 3: I think eventually it just comes out if you stay 565 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:57,800 Speaker 3: on longer than one or two chads are like this 566 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:12,120 Speaker 3: is this is odd at. A recent article from news 567 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,920 Speaker 3: dot com dot Au talks about the uprising of chatfishing 568 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,280 Speaker 3: in Australia in twenty twenty three. In a report, they 569 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:21,440 Speaker 3: share messages that have been published on in cell forums 570 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 3: about the practices and here are some of the messages 571 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:28,640 Speaker 3: and incidents they reported. Quote my hobby is chatfishing whores. 572 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,760 Speaker 3: I arranged days and stand them up at bars, he continues, 573 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 3: is fun to deflate their ego and make them waste 574 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,360 Speaker 3: money on ubers, fuel and parking. 575 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:39,040 Speaker 1: And then another example, and this is a quote. 576 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,080 Speaker 3: And then possibly the worst example, the in cell targeted 577 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,920 Speaker 3: a recently divorced forty one year old woman who had 578 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 3: told them she was a little lost, eventually standing her 579 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:51,440 Speaker 3: up three separate times and describing it as his best 580 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,760 Speaker 3: one yet. And he goes, after I stood her up 581 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,880 Speaker 3: first time, she concocted a story about receiving bad news 582 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 3: as a reason to leave. She appolis and hinted at 583 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:05,760 Speaker 3: another date another time, he told his twisted followers, I 584 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,240 Speaker 3: knew she was desperate for a Chad, so I started 585 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,960 Speaker 3: with her, testing her reaction to chats multiple women's stashed 586 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,600 Speaker 3: around the city. She said, TIHI, you're so funny, Chad. 587 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,760 Speaker 3: So I stood her up a second time, and I 588 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,480 Speaker 3: have a third time with a different chatfish. 589 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:21,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. 590 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:24,400 Speaker 3: So those are totally the awful stories, which I'm like 591 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 3: reading that doesn't sound believable. 592 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 2: I could realy lie it could be. And the purpose 593 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,520 Speaker 2: of all of this is to abuse women. Here's a 594 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:39,680 Speaker 2: quote from malmagazine dot com. Ostensibly, they're looking to prove 595 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,240 Speaker 2: that women are superficial sluts willing to hop into bed 596 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:46,400 Speaker 2: with any guy sporting chiseled abs, regardless of his awful personality. 597 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,000 Speaker 2: In practice, it's about gaining the opportunity to verbally abuse 598 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:51,600 Speaker 2: women in tender chats. 599 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:52,120 Speaker 1: Right. 600 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,480 Speaker 3: And here's something from in cells dot I this is 601 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:59,440 Speaker 3: an actual site because we love you. I did look 602 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 3: through it. I'm very unhappy about it. But here is 603 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:08,160 Speaker 3: a chatfishing slash catfeshing guide that someone posted. It says, 604 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,280 Speaker 3: make sure you stay consistent with the first and last 605 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,960 Speaker 3: name when making fake accounts. Just pick any chad name 606 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:19,240 Speaker 3: like Tyler Hunter or something. Make your chat's age from 607 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,959 Speaker 3: twenty two to twenty four years old. You can skip 608 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,120 Speaker 3: steps one and two. And there's all these steps if 609 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,160 Speaker 3: you have a spare Facebook account. So step one make 610 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,760 Speaker 3: a Gmail account and then create a whole account with 611 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,640 Speaker 3: phone numbers. Step two make a Facebook account, which I 612 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,880 Speaker 3: feel like because this is twenty sixteen, they just kind 613 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:38,120 Speaker 3: of outdate it now using your real number and your 614 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:42,400 Speaker 3: Chaz's Gmail, which doesn't sound smart, but okay. Next is 615 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:46,640 Speaker 3: of something like downloading a text me or WhatsApp I 616 00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:50,080 Speaker 3: believe to spoof phone numbers, and then it warns them 617 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:51,000 Speaker 3: if you use your own number. 618 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,760 Speaker 1: People can do a reverse look up, so be careful. 619 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,360 Speaker 3: Create an account on Snapchat and then talk about how 620 00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,520 Speaker 3: to find followers and make sure they have followers, and 621 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 3: they give you video instructions finding the right Chad, and 622 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 3: they give they give you like five rules about you 623 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:11,400 Speaker 3: know what a right chat is, including Instagram and having girls. Yeah, 624 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,480 Speaker 3: and then about having a Chad who is a YouTube blogger, 625 00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:18,560 Speaker 3: which I feel like that would be an obvious like 626 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,000 Speaker 3: obviously you know, like what, like you can find out 627 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,719 Speaker 3: where these people are from? Like that doesn't sound smart 628 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,680 Speaker 3: this app So I'm also going to read some of 629 00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:31,080 Speaker 3: the comments below in a minute, but okay, and then 630 00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:34,239 Speaker 3: he gives an example of pictures to use to catfishing. 631 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,160 Speaker 3: Then he talks about finding girls, but he kid doesn't 632 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,640 Speaker 3: spell fine. There's so many spelling mistakes in this, so 633 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:42,319 Speaker 3: I have to imagine it's a fourteen. 634 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,360 Speaker 1: Year old doing this. To be honest, Oh boy. 635 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:48,720 Speaker 3: Use pictures from chad instagrams as your dating pictures and profiles. 636 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,040 Speaker 3: Those are also to be careful certain times because they 637 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:55,000 Speaker 3: can be reversed for image proof, which many women have 638 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,960 Speaker 3: found out. Make a fun bio, like you know, putting 639 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:01,399 Speaker 3: about how I'm a great cuddler, wear hills. I'll kill 640 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,839 Speaker 3: spiders for you and then also make up fight weaknesses 641 00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 3: like a job interview. 642 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,480 Speaker 1: You know I'm too dependable. 643 00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:14,279 Speaker 2: Right, I'm too focused, reliable, reliable, ridiculous. 644 00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:17,319 Speaker 1: I'm so that people love me. 645 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,279 Speaker 3: But like some of the comments on here, which is 646 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,719 Speaker 3: hilarious because of like the pictures on it itself is ridiculous, 647 00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:27,040 Speaker 3: but one of them says, damn awesome thread. The Gmail 648 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,400 Speaker 3: and Facebook things sounds like work and effort. Then the 649 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:34,799 Speaker 3: actual catfishing again, the spelling on here is amazing and 650 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:39,000 Speaker 3: it says, uh, this one, dude is like you're a saint, thinks, 651 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:44,920 Speaker 3: except yours whyle you are. Someone complained that this was 652 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,919 Speaker 3: too much work. It says I used to catfish using 653 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,799 Speaker 3: online dating apps, but they got suspicious since didn't have 654 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:54,240 Speaker 3: a social media like Instagram. Might use this though, thinks 655 00:35:55,520 --> 00:36:01,319 Speaker 3: all these like hmmm, I don't know. Great things will 656 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:05,640 Speaker 3: get on it JFL just for last lingo at the 657 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,600 Speaker 3: White Nights here asking what's the point of this? The 658 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,400 Speaker 3: point is to make the tender experience unpleasant for as 659 00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:14,359 Speaker 3: many girls as possible. Tender is the number one cause 660 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,560 Speaker 3: of hypergammy and it's killing us, so we may as 661 00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:20,239 Speaker 3: well try to kill it back, which a lot of 662 00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,480 Speaker 3: them were like, are you doing this for nudes? Like? 663 00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,960 Speaker 1: Are you this is too much work? Dude for nuds? 664 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:25,600 Speaker 1: Are you like? 665 00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,000 Speaker 2: It's It did have a lot of specific Samantha didn't read. 666 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:31,759 Speaker 3: All Hypergammy is the action of marrying or forming its 667 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,600 Speaker 3: sexual relationship with a person of a superior sociological or 668 00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:35,719 Speaker 3: educational background. 669 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:37,680 Speaker 1: So he used the big word. 670 00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,799 Speaker 2: He did. They know the big words when it is 671 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,680 Speaker 2: involved with them not getting what they feel. 672 00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 3: And they're just a lot of things bump for the 673 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,960 Speaker 3: people to see. Those Chad instagrams are suicide fuel. I'm 674 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:56,719 Speaker 3: not even the same species as them. I guess there's 675 00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,680 Speaker 3: some self deprecation in all this, but yeah, So essentially 676 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,600 Speaker 3: these are the sites that are happening. I know at 677 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:07,680 Speaker 3: one point I believe Reddit did take down one instructional 678 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:11,799 Speaker 3: Reddit site. But obviously I found this very easily. All 679 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,799 Speaker 3: I did was literally put the word chatfishing, and this 680 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:18,680 Speaker 3: popped up very quickly. Do I think it's sensible, Do 681 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,520 Speaker 3: I think it's smart? Do I think it works? 682 00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:21,480 Speaker 1: Hope not? 683 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:25,640 Speaker 3: But you never know who can be scammed so quickly 684 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:30,000 Speaker 3: and yeah, there's reports of not only people doing this, 685 00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:34,520 Speaker 3: but some of them actually show up with cameras intending 686 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:38,200 Speaker 3: to humiliate them and then putting them on Reddit forums 687 00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,560 Speaker 3: to humiliate women and as well as doxing them essentially 688 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:45,000 Speaker 3: to shame them for coming to wanting to be on 689 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:50,399 Speaker 3: a date with a catfished dating profile, which if they 690 00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:55,359 Speaker 3: sound nice right, which again I don't. This is where 691 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:59,600 Speaker 3: you know the boys on this site have no clue 692 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:00,840 Speaker 3: about the female gaze. 693 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:04,480 Speaker 1: No, because the even if they're real, those are the 694 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:04,879 Speaker 1: first ones. 695 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:08,160 Speaker 3: I was like, oh, yeah, you really like the is 696 00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:12,520 Speaker 3: you're saying working out? Gone Like, definitely not If that's 697 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,000 Speaker 3: the first thing you tell me about it. You love CrossFit, I'm. 698 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:18,480 Speaker 2: Out, yeah, yeah, well I've told the story a million 699 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,279 Speaker 2: times that I remember once I projected a guy and 700 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:25,799 Speaker 2: he's just shouted at me. It's because I'm not Brad Pitt, 701 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:26,319 Speaker 2: isn't it? 702 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:32,840 Speaker 3: And I was like, hell, like I wouldn't date but 703 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,279 Speaker 3: he's also problematic, so no, but thank you. 704 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's also like way older than me. 705 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,279 Speaker 3: And then also it's the same like when I got 706 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,759 Speaker 3: the dude who has opening line was I know you're 707 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,760 Speaker 3: not going to date me? I know that you probably 708 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,000 Speaker 3: will only date handsome white dudes, and you want to 709 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,160 Speaker 3: take a chance with me, And he was an Asian dude. 710 00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:51,879 Speaker 1: I was like, I don't. 711 00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,920 Speaker 3: I don't have a response to this, Like I you 712 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,080 Speaker 3: didn't say hello, he didn't even say his name. 713 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:02,160 Speaker 1: It was immediately on the defensive. 714 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,440 Speaker 3: And I was like, well, yeah, now I'm scared of you, 715 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,920 Speaker 3: so absolutely not. I don't like, there's no chance in 716 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:10,399 Speaker 3: hell if you had given me a funny line. Right. 717 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,880 Speaker 2: Well, that's the thing, is like, so much of this 718 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:18,560 Speaker 2: to me sounds so defensive. It's it's already like the 719 00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,200 Speaker 2: only reason she doesn't like me is because I'm not 720 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:27,120 Speaker 2: bread bitch, But it's it's other things. It's other things. 721 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,239 Speaker 1: Well, the fact that you're already yelling at me would 722 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:30,960 Speaker 1: be the first. 723 00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:37,040 Speaker 3: Exactly being aggressive on the jump is automatic red flag. 724 00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:40,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, on the play room, dude out. 725 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,759 Speaker 3: But yeah, and of course, again we're talking about this 726 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,800 Speaker 3: in very heteronormative conversations. When it comes to chat fishing, 727 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,560 Speaker 3: it is an in cell group that are going after 728 00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:53,080 Speaker 3: women who they fill out of the blame for their 729 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:57,600 Speaker 3: virginity and lack of happiness, which kind of like they're 730 00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,000 Speaker 3: not completely wrong because they're so focused on being miserable 731 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:02,920 Speaker 3: because they don't have something, or they can't have something, 732 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,000 Speaker 3: or they don't go after the right things. I don't know, 733 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:09,320 Speaker 3: but like they may like they make it come true essentially, 734 00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:13,480 Speaker 3: But it's very concerning that this kind of practice is 735 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,200 Speaker 3: still happening. And then we talked about AI and what's 736 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,560 Speaker 3: happening with AI and how quickly that has changed things 737 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:23,000 Speaker 3: and how quickly that's will change even further for women 738 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:30,440 Speaker 3: who maybe victims of this type of pranks and harmful behaviors. 739 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,719 Speaker 1: We know it's going to be bad. Oh. 740 00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:38,080 Speaker 3: I Actually, like we talked about the fact that they're 741 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:42,480 Speaker 3: making bad revenge porn just through AI. So there's a 742 00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,640 Speaker 3: lot of conversations of like what this is and what 743 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:46,239 Speaker 3: it's going to do in the power of how that's 744 00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:47,520 Speaker 3: going to be, and what we need to look out 745 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,839 Speaker 3: for because this practices has already happened even before the technology. 746 00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:53,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I saw a headline about that the 747 00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:57,959 Speaker 2: other day, that revenge porn is on the riose. It's 748 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,759 Speaker 2: just it's a lot to look out for when you're 749 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,600 Speaker 2: just trying to have a date. 750 00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:06,600 Speaker 1: What. 751 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:15,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, if anyone is in the dating world. Yeah, 752 00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,839 Speaker 2: we've heard some stories from you all before, but let 753 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:19,880 Speaker 2: us know, give. 754 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,480 Speaker 1: Us updates, give us some good things too. We're not 755 00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:23,760 Speaker 1: just talking about bad things. 756 00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:26,240 Speaker 3: But you know, if you try somebody sites that sounds 757 00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:27,919 Speaker 3: really kind of interesting, let us know. 758 00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,920 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. You can email us at Stephanie and Momsteph 759 00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,200 Speaker 2: at heeartmedia dot com. You can find us on Twitter 760 00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:37,440 Speaker 2: at moom Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok at 761 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,040 Speaker 2: Stuff One never told you. We also have a YouTube 762 00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:43,880 Speaker 2: and we have a tea public store. You can pre 763 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,640 Speaker 2: order our book. It comes out August twenty ninth. You 764 00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:48,359 Speaker 2: can pre order it at stuff You should read books 765 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,920 Speaker 2: dot com or on Audible for the audiobook. Thanks to 766 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:55,120 Speaker 2: always to our super producer Christina Are, executive producer May 767 00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:58,560 Speaker 2: and our contributor Joey. Thank you all, yes, and thanks 768 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,840 Speaker 2: to you for listening. One ever told you the protection 769 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:02,799 Speaker 2: of iHeart Radio. For more podcasts in my Heart Radio, 770 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:04,600 Speaker 2: you can check out the heart Radio app Apple podcast 771 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:06,280 Speaker 2: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.