WEBVTT - Harvard's Forgotten Murder/Suicide 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:15.960 Diversion audio. A note this episode contains mature content and 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:19.720 descriptions of violence that may be disturbing for some listeners. 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:27.720 Please take care in listening. There's nothing like being on 0:00:27.760 --> 0:00:32.280 a college campus during the final week of classes. The 0:00:32.400 --> 0:00:36.559 relaxing exhale of summer is right around the corner, and 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:40.800 the energy of what's next bubbles up in every conversation 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:45.640 and social circle. For students of Harvard, there's an added 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:49.960 pride in having completed another semester. At an ivy league. 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:56.400 On Saturday, May twenty seventh, nineteen ninety five, two young 0:00:56.440 --> 0:01:01.680 women in Harvard's Dunster House dorm building were celebrating the 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:06.120 end of a long, hard year. The women were juniors, 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:11.240 both pre med and both immigrants to America with dreams 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:18.280 of becoming doctors. Decades of dedication, sacrifice, and faith had 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:23.200 brought them here to the world's most prestigious institution, and 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:26.319 they were a source of immense pride for both of 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:30.400 their families. That the girls would meet in a science 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:35.160 class their freshman year and end up roommates seemed like fate. 0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:40.160 Both had made journeys of many thousands of miles to 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:43.560 end up in Massachusetts and they must have felt like 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:49.200 kindred spirits. But while from the outside their similarities were 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:54.280 impossible to deny, the girls' inner worlds couldn't have been 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:58.640 more different. While one found purpose and thrived in her 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:04.080 college environment, the other struggled to find a place. While 0:02:04.160 --> 0:02:09.400 one made strong friendships and found community, the other grew 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:13.919 isolated and distant from her loved ones. What started as 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:19.960 a fated friendship after a while became estranged. Admiration turned 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:25.080 to jealousy, good will turned to resentment, and late on 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:28.680 that Saturday night in May nineteen ninety five, when the 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:32.840 air was thick with anticipation of good things, one girl 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:37.760 saw the end of her world. Other residents of Dunster 0:02:37.840 --> 0:02:41.760 House would wake up the next morning to screams coming 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:46.960 from the girl's dorm room. Harvard campus security in Cambridge 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:50.440 police would be called in. The gruesome scene they would 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:53.080 find on the other side of that door would be 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:56.239 like something out of a nightmare. But the two women, 0:02:56.880 --> 0:03:15.560 for their families and for the university, Welcome to the 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:19.480 greatest true crime stories ever told. I'm Mary Kay McBrayer. 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:26.400 Today's episode we're calling Harvard's Forgotten Murder Suicide. It's the 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:30.480 story of a friendship gone wrong, the limits of human ambition, 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:35.560 and the dark underbelly of the American dream. Because the 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:38.960 thing they don't tell you about having your greatest dream 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:44.320 come true is what to do with yourself afterwards. We'll 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:47.400 get into all of that right after this quick break. 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:07.240 The college experience is so much less about academics than 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:10.760 you think it's going to be when you're eighteen. It 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:13.400 isn't until you're well out of school that you realize 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:16.320 that the most important lessons you learned during those years 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:19.440 were how to be a normal, functioning adult in the world, 0:04:20.240 --> 0:04:23.120 one who knows how to make friends, form a community, 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:27.480 and take care of themselves. It's a time to figure 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:32.160 out where you fit inside this much bigger pond, and 0:04:32.240 --> 0:04:34.880 it's something that doesn't come easy for a lot of kids. 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:38.880 I know this from experience. I showed up to a 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:41.880 liberal arts school from suburban Georgia and had to answer 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:45.599 the question where are you from? Twice, once to name 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:49.560 my hometown and again to say where I was from from. 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:54.080 It highlights your experience, or at least other people's experience, 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:58.840 of you. Introducing yourself means explaining parts of you that 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:02.799 you've never had to earn articulate before. But my experience 0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:05.880 was nothing compared to the task that immigrant and international 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:09.680 students face when they come to college in America. Not 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:13.039 only are they learning how to handle new levels of 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:17.599 academic challenge, but many also carry the dreams of proud 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:23.520 and expectant families being there, finding your place, making the 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:27.040 most of the unparalleled opportunities in front of you after 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:31.960 decades of sacrifice in single minded dedication is a big 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:36.960 task for an eighteen year old. Reconciling your past self 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:40.279 with the person you're becoming is one of the greatest 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:44.839 transformations any person can experience. The story I'm going to 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:48.039 tell you today is about the limitations of the human 0:05:48.080 --> 0:05:52.520 psyche when those needs of community and social connection aren't met, 0:05:53.760 --> 0:06:11.360 even in a place as picture perfect as Harvard. Sinnadu 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:15.520 Taedessa had big dreams for her life from the very beginning. 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:20.359 She was born and raised in Addis Ababa in nineteen 0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:24.960 seventy five, the capital of the world's third poorest country 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:31.359 at the time, Ethiopia. Walking those crowded streets of Addis Ababa, 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:36.839 you'd see livestock, hungry mothers with outstretched hands, and malnourished 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:42.600 children selling trinkets. In public schools, students sat on dirt floors, 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:47.360 dozens and dozens to a class. Books and supplies were 0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:53.440 a luxury, but Sinnadu Taedessa was fortunate. As a member 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:56.839 of an elite class, her family had the resources to 0:06:56.880 --> 0:07:02.400 send her to one of Oddis Ababa's coveted Internet schools. There, 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:08.839 she was given opportunities. Few Ethiopians had English instruction, rigorous 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:14.640 courses preparation for university in America. The gravity of this 0:07:14.760 --> 0:07:20.880 opportunity was not lost on Sinadu. While her country buckled 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:24.360 under the weight of a political turmoil, warfare, and famine, 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:29.880 Sinnadu studied. One of her English teachers remembered her as 0:07:29.960 --> 0:07:35.320 being quote quiet and demure, academically focused to the point 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:41.160 of tunnel vision, and she was successful. In fact, Sinnadu 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:46.360 wasn't just good in school, she was exceptional. During her 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:49.520 senior year of high school, she was named the number 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:54.160 two student in all of Ethiopia. Her high school guidance 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:58.520 counselor said, you couldn't tell her that academics weren't everything, 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:03.640 because they were. They were her ticket out. The day 0:08:03.680 --> 0:08:06.800 she received her acceptance letter and a full scholarship to 0:08:06.840 --> 0:08:10.400 Harvard was the happiest day of her life. She would 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:13.800 go to America, get the best education money could buy 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:19.320 from the world's most prestigious institution, and return home a doctor. 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:24.200 But the way Harvard looked in Sinnadu's dreams was a 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:29.680 lot different than her reality. Accustomed to being exceptional, she 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:34.240 found classes difficult. The reinforcement and praise she was used 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:39.480 to receiving for her efforts didn't come. Far from standing out. 0:08:39.800 --> 0:08:44.880 She struggled to make bees. The cold Massachusetts weather depressed her, 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:50.839 and she felt deeply isolated. Visiting her family in Ethiopia 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:55.680 was out of the question financially. The only person she 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:59.600 knew on campus was neb, a smart and popular classmate 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:03.280 of hers from the International School, but the two of 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:07.439 them didn't run in the same social circles. Learning how 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:10.880 to make friends wasn't something Sinna Dou had spent much 0:09:10.920 --> 0:09:15.800 time doing. Now she not only had to learn how, 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:19.720 but do so among young adults who had grown up 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:25.640 with entirely different customs, cultural references, and social etiquette. When 0:09:25.679 --> 0:09:29.079 she didn't have friends to confide in, Sinadu would divulge 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:32.719 her feelings in her diary and journals. One of her 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:37.559 spiral notebooks was labeled My Small Book of Social Rules. 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:43.040 In it, Senadu wrote pages and pages of numbered instructions 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:46.400 for how to address the problems she was facing socially, 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:50.480 things like what to discuss with the other students in 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:54.840 the cafeteria Every morning when you wake up, you have 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:58.520 to come up with three fat topics of conversation. This 0:09:58.679 --> 0:10:01.960 is always your greatest problem, so deal with it properly, 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:07.280 one entry said. But as the diary goes on, her 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:11.960 words take on a more paranoid tone. One said, do 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:14.839 not show off what you really think. Put on a mask. 0:10:16.480 --> 0:10:20.400 These social exercises didn't seem to bring sinnad much success, though. 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:25.160 The summer after her freshman year, Sinadu reached a point 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:29.640 of desperation. In a baffling move, she sent a letter 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:33.439 to a stranger at Harvard's law school pleading for help 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:38.840 making friends. The glimpse this letter gives into sinad psyche 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:45.120 is honestly fascinating and frankly, she writes, beautifully, I'm going 0:10:45.160 --> 0:10:47.360 to take a minute to read a few paragraphs from it. 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:51.760 Why am I writing this letter because I am desperate. 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:55.600 As far as I can remember, my life has been hellish. 0:10:56.440 --> 0:11:01.320 Year after year, I became lonelier and lonelier. When I'm 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:04.080 with a group of people, I keep so quiet. I 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:07.319 have nothing to say that I send the chills through 0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:10.320 those who notice me. Then I cry when people forget 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:13.880 about me or dislike being with me. When I'm with 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:17.800 one person, I shake with nervousness, fearing that we will 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:20.400 run out of things to say, or she or he 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:24.920 will be bored. For math, I had a teacher for painting. 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:28.200 I had a teacher for social life. I had no one. 0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:31.680 All you have to do is give me a hand 0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:35.560 and put into words what you already know. All it 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:39.120 takes is a few hours from your week and some energy. 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:42.880 Please do not close the door in my face. Even 0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:45.680 if you are not interested. Please give this letter to 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:49.880 a friend or relative who might be We don't know 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:53.360 much about who the recipient of this letter was, but 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:56.160 what we do know is that they forwarded it to 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:59.480 a dean at Harvard, who then placed it in Sinedu's 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:05.880 file and left it at that, no investigation, no follow up. 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:10.360 To be fair, this was probably unlike anything the dean's 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:14.240 office or student health services had ever seen before, but 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:19.400 still it's a literal cry for help. More on the 0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:24.960 student health services later, though. There was one bright spot 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:29.040 in Sinnidu's freshman year. It came in the form of 0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:33.040 another student named Trang Ho, whom Sinnadou met in her 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:37.240 science class. The two had a lot in common. Both 0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:41.360 were polite, hard working biology majors who had moved to 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:46.080 America from across the world. Both had risen from humble 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:51.000 circumstances to become valedictorians of their high school graduating classes, 0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:57.040 and both dreamed of becoming doctors. Trang was born near 0:12:57.120 --> 0:13:01.560 Saigon in nineteen seventy four, just five months before the 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:06.319 culmination of the Vietnam War. Both of Treng's parents were 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:08.800 sent to re education camps in the wake of the war, 0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:13.439 and in nineteen eighty four, when Treng was ten, they 0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:17.040 made the difficult decision to attempt to escape Vietnam for 0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:21.679 a better life abroad. Treng, her older sister, and their 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:27.000 father went first Under the cover of night, they crammed 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:30.520 inside a small boat along two hundred and sixty five 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:36.360 other refugees. Their destination was Indonesia, where they'd stay in 0:13:36.400 --> 0:13:40.520 a refugee camp for a few months and hopefully continue 0:13:40.520 --> 0:13:45.040 on to America. The boat was so crowded that the 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:49.480 passengers were forced to stand for seven days. At the 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:53.480 refugee camp, mister ho gave the girls English words to 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:57.960 learn to prepare them for their life in America. At 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:02.280 first it was ten or twin words, and later nearly 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:06.400 one hundred a day. Mister Hoe knew about the famous 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:10.240 universities on the East Coast, and in nineteen eighty six 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:14.120 he settled his family in the Boston area, hoping to 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:17.640 send his daughters to one of the IVY leagues one day. 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:23.800 Like Sinadu, Train took her studies very seriously. Once as 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:26.440 a young student, when she found herself stuck on a 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:29.680 homework problem, she called nine one one to ask her help. 0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:33.280 The dispatcher told her that someone would call her back, 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:36.360 and when her father answered the phone a few minutes later, 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:40.160 he heard a policeman on the other end asking for 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:44.000 the little girl who needed help with her assignment. But 0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:48.960 unlike Sinadou, Train didn't seem to have a problem forming friendships. 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:52.560 Her teachers would later describe the joy and excitement she 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:57.000 found in learning. All through high school, she tutored her classmates. 0:14:57.440 --> 0:15:00.440 By the beginning of her sophomore year at Harvard, Trang 0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:03.560 had established a solid group of friends and was thriving. 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:07.120 Her grades were good, and she seemed well on her 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:10.640 way to the goal of medical school. A few weeks 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:14.600 before meeting Trayng in that science class, Sinadu had been 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:17.640 hurt to find that her then roommate wanted to live 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:22.000 with someone else next year. Finding yourself without a roommate 0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:24.200 at the end of the spring semester is a tough 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:27.680 blow for anyone, but it must have been especially tough 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:33.480 for Sinadu, who was struggling so hard socially. Treng was kind, 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:37.160 and it's not difficult to imagine how the two must 0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:40.520 have formed a connection around their similar upbringings and dreams 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:44.880 for the future. Sinadou decided to ask Trang to be 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:51.080 her roommate, and Trang agreed. Sinadu was overjoyed. Perhaps this 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:53.840 would finally be the chance for the kind of close 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:58.320 friendship that had always been beyond her grasp. In her 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:02.720 diary entry from that week, Sinnadu wrote, the last four 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:06.320 days were the highlight of my life thus far in Harvard. 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:10.600 My roommate problem was solved in the best way possible 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:13.840 with a girl I thought I would really enjoy to 0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:17.040 be with with a girl I would make the queen 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:21.560 of my life. Sinadu would later tell her father she 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:27.120 had found a best friend. Unfortunately, Trang seems to have 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:30.680 had no idea of the role she was playing in 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:50.720 her new roommate's life. The high hopes Sinnadu had for 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:55.120 her friendship with Treyng would never come to be. Far 0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:59.440 from being Sinnidu's new confidant, Treng was away from campus 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:03.479 nearly every weekend, visiting her family who lived close by. 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:06.800 Even more of a blow was the fact that Trang 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:10.520 already had a best friend, her name was Tao. When 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:14.760 Tao was twenty nine years old and working as a 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:19.720 teacher in a nearby town, she too had emigrated to America, 0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:24.560 but only recently Trang had become her first friend. Here. 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:28.520 The two would go shopping, and Trang would insist that 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:32.440 they spoke English to help Tao learn. Tao would even 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:35.320 stay over in Trang in Sinadu's dorm from time to time. 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:41.000 Before long, this friendship became a source of jealousy for Sinadu. 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:46.639 Sometimes she would even neglect to tell Trang about Tao's 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:52.879 telephone messages to Senadou. Tao and Trang's friendship felt like 0:17:52.920 --> 0:17:58.080 another rejection, and little by little this feeling of rejection 0:17:58.640 --> 0:18:02.480 was hardening into something else else, something closer to anger. 0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:06.880 Sinadu's diary entry from a month into their living arrangement 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:10.560 shows a sharp and alarming turn taking place in her 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:14.800 mental space, on the way to depression and battered with 0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:19.439 pessimistic thoughts. Tray told me I am boring. I felt 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:22.920 like I'm boring her. If I ever grow desperate enough 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:26.720 to seek power and a fearful respect through killing, she 0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:30.520 would be the first one I would blow off. Reading 0:18:30.560 --> 0:18:34.639 words like this in someone else's diary, it's hard to 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:38.719 know what to think of them. Was this a serious consideration? 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:44.560 Was it sarcasm? How does a person shift from frustration 0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:49.040 and loneliness to murderous anger. Are these the kind of 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:53.520 words that only become significant in retrospect, or are they 0:18:53.520 --> 0:18:57.840 a clear marker of a break from reality? These are 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:02.040 questions I, unfortunately can't answer her. But what is clear 0:19:02.800 --> 0:19:05.800 is that Sinadu was having a hard time reconciling the 0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:09.159 dreams she had for her friendship with Tray and the 0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:12.399 reality that Treng was her own person with a busy 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:18.600 routine and a well established social circle. Sinadu's anger grew, 0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:22.399 and as it did, so did the tension in the 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:26.840 dorm room. By the middle of their junior year, Treng's 0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:30.480 patience with Sinadu was coming to an end. This was 0:19:30.480 --> 0:19:34.040 their fourth semester as roommates, and according to accounts from 0:19:34.080 --> 0:19:41.760 people who knew treg Sinnadu had become uncharacteristically and aggressively messy. 0:19:43.240 --> 0:19:46.000 She leave fruit peels out around the room to rot. 0:19:46.680 --> 0:19:49.960 Trein complained about Sinadu to her mother and sister, who 0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:52.119 asked if there was anything they could do to intervene, 0:19:52.760 --> 0:19:56.600 but Treng assured them she would handle it. She made 0:19:56.680 --> 0:19:59.000 up her mind to tell Sinadu that for their senior 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:03.240 year she be rooming with someone else. She knew it 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:07.240 would be a difficult conversation, but in the spring, when 0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:11.280 the deadline for next year's rooming decisions was approaching, Train 0:20:11.359 --> 0:20:13.639 got up the courage to break the news to Sinadu. 0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:19.480 Treng was right to be worried. Sinnadu was beside herself 0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:23.520 after their conversation. According to an article in The New Yorker, 0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:27.680 Sinadu followed Trang onto the street and into the subway 0:20:27.800 --> 0:20:32.880 after their conversation, pleading with her to reconsider. Sinadu even 0:20:32.920 --> 0:20:36.280 wrote Treng a letter saying that Trang would always have 0:20:36.320 --> 0:20:39.240 a family to go to, but Sinnadu had no one. 0:20:40.000 --> 0:20:45.359 Couldn't they just please finish out their time at Harvard together. Trang, 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:50.960 whose impulse was always to be kind and accommodating, felt terrible. 0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:55.040 She asked her friend tal whether she was making a mistake, 0:20:55.960 --> 0:20:59.080 but Tao assured her that everything she was doing was 0:20:59.160 --> 0:21:03.639 completely reasonable. So she wrote Sinadu a note in response, 0:21:05.080 --> 0:21:09.880 I respect you, so you should respect my decision despite 0:21:09.880 --> 0:21:12.719 what happened. I hope that we can still be friends, 0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:19.480 it said. For Senadu, a boundary like this just wasn't acceptable. 0:21:20.520 --> 0:21:24.440 She retaliated by giving Tray the cold shoulder, a powerful 0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:30.280 gesture in their tiny shared space once. Senadu even refused 0:21:30.280 --> 0:21:33.400 to unlock the door when Treng was accidentally locked out, 0:21:34.000 --> 0:21:38.359 forcing her to call building security. Now, on some level, 0:21:38.880 --> 0:21:43.320 all of this feels like a serious overreaction, but I 0:21:43.320 --> 0:21:45.640 think it's worth taking a minute to consider this from 0:21:45.680 --> 0:21:50.720 Sinadu's perspective. Here, she was weeks before the start of 0:21:50.760 --> 0:21:53.640 her senior year, a time when most students had well 0:21:53.720 --> 0:21:57.480 established friend groups and were solidifying next year's living arrangements 0:21:57.480 --> 0:22:02.720 with people they really loved. Instead, Senadu would be added 0:22:02.760 --> 0:22:06.800 to the general roommate pool as a floater to be 0:22:06.880 --> 0:22:10.760 matched with someone else. She didn't know. She was probably 0:22:10.800 --> 0:22:16.080 feeling supremely lonely and maybe even embarrassed. These social failings 0:22:16.080 --> 0:22:20.800 of hers were now on display. For someone with so 0:22:21.000 --> 0:22:25.080 few emotional resources and so little community, this must have 0:22:25.119 --> 0:22:30.000 been really difficult. Of course, circumstances like this are no 0:22:30.119 --> 0:22:34.240 excuse for emotional warfare, but they may help give context 0:22:34.320 --> 0:22:39.720 to her behavior. According to doctor Randolph Catlan, chief of 0:22:39.800 --> 0:22:43.600 Harvard's Mental Health services during traying and Sinidu's time at 0:22:43.600 --> 0:22:48.480 the university, in cases of mental distress, where a person's 0:22:48.560 --> 0:22:53.639 quote self esteem is narrowly based, it becomes terribly important 0:22:54.240 --> 0:22:57.000 to feel there is one person who cares about you. 0:22:58.320 --> 0:23:01.400 If you take that person's rejection and as clear evidence 0:23:01.480 --> 0:23:05.600 that you as a person are not valuable, that might 0:23:05.640 --> 0:23:10.480 make you enormously angry. A primitive response to this is 0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:13.960 that you might want to destroy that person or yourself, 0:23:15.200 --> 0:23:20.600 or both. According to Sinideu's diaries, traying appears to be 0:23:20.680 --> 0:23:25.720 Sinnidhu's only source of emotional support at this time. Her 0:23:25.800 --> 0:23:28.200 name shows up again and again in the pages of 0:23:28.240 --> 0:23:33.320 her notebooks, but the truth was Sinnadu had others she 0:23:33.359 --> 0:23:38.520 could have turned to. Neb Sinnidhu's classmate from Ethiopia, who 0:23:38.560 --> 0:23:41.560 also went to Harvard, was in her same year. Her 0:23:41.600 --> 0:23:44.560 brother was also studying in the US by now, and 0:23:44.640 --> 0:23:48.560 she had cousins in the Boston area. Sinnidou told none 0:23:48.560 --> 0:23:51.479 of them about the loneliness she was facing or her 0:23:51.560 --> 0:24:05.919 sadness over losing traying as a roommate. Two weeks before 0:24:05.960 --> 0:24:10.119 the end of the semester, Sennadou methodically packed her computer 0:24:10.320 --> 0:24:13.480 into its original packaging and sent it to one of 0:24:13.480 --> 0:24:17.879 her cousins to use. She acquired two knives and a 0:24:17.960 --> 0:24:22.240 nylon rope. She sent her school photo to the staff 0:24:22.240 --> 0:24:26.600 at Harvard's student newspaper, The Harvard Crimson, along with an 0:24:26.600 --> 0:24:30.880 anonymous note that read, keep this picture. There will soon 0:24:31.000 --> 0:24:35.240 be a very juicy story involving the person in this picture. 0:24:37.000 --> 0:24:39.960 Editors at the newspaper looked at the photo, unsure what 0:24:40.080 --> 0:24:43.840 to do before throwing it in the trash, only to 0:24:43.920 --> 0:24:47.040 phish it out a few days later, when its significance 0:24:47.160 --> 0:24:52.399 became very clear, Sinadu did one other thing that was 0:24:52.480 --> 0:24:55.760 totally out of character. During that last week of school. 0:24:57.119 --> 0:24:59.639 She called her friend Neb, whom she hadn't spoken to 0:24:59.680 --> 0:25:04.440 a unps. Sinadu invited him to brunch on Sunday, May 0:25:04.440 --> 0:25:09.640 twenty first, a week before the end of classes. According 0:25:09.680 --> 0:25:12.040 to Neb, when he sat down across from Sinadu at 0:25:12.080 --> 0:25:18.680 the restaurant, she was practically unrecognizable. She was brighter, lighter, 0:25:19.000 --> 0:25:22.560 wearing makeup, high heels and shorts, something she never did. 0:25:23.200 --> 0:25:27.760 In fact, in Ethiopia, shorts were considered disrespectful. Sinnadu was 0:25:27.840 --> 0:25:31.520 usually a modest dresser, and Neb was later quoted as 0:25:31.560 --> 0:25:34.840 saying that there was a profound change in the way 0:25:34.920 --> 0:25:39.280 she looked, and moved and carried herself. It was the 0:25:39.359 --> 0:25:44.280 happiest Neb had ever seen her. It was only after 0:25:44.680 --> 0:25:48.639 what happened in Dunster House a week later that the 0:25:48.680 --> 0:26:08.840 memory became a disturbing one for Neb. That week, Senedu 0:26:08.920 --> 0:26:11.480 turned in the final work for one class, on which 0:26:11.480 --> 0:26:14.320 she got an A, but didn't study for her next 0:26:14.320 --> 0:26:18.640 few classes. Students who saw her in the library said 0:26:18.680 --> 0:26:22.760 she looked distracted and distant. She would end up requesting 0:26:22.800 --> 0:26:26.320 medical forbearance for the rest of her exams and spend 0:26:26.400 --> 0:26:30.920 much of the next few days in bed. On Friday 0:26:31.359 --> 0:26:35.080 May twenty sixth, just a few days before the official 0:26:35.280 --> 0:26:39.200 end of the year, Trang invited her best friend Tao 0:26:39.720 --> 0:26:43.600 to stay the weekend at their dorm. Tao would offer 0:26:43.680 --> 0:26:47.520 moral support as Trang finished her exams and would help 0:26:47.600 --> 0:26:51.520 Trang move out once she was done. On Saturday, May 0:26:51.560 --> 0:26:55.560 twenty seventh, Trang left the dorm around ten am to 0:26:55.560 --> 0:26:58.280 study for the physics exam she'd be taking that evening. 0:27:00.320 --> 0:27:03.639 Was taking the same physics course, so Treng found it 0:27:03.680 --> 0:27:10.000 odd that Sinadu wasn't also studying that day. Instead, Sinnadu 0:27:10.080 --> 0:27:12.440 had been laying in her bed all day, knees to 0:27:12.480 --> 0:27:16.720 her chest, quietly crying. At this point, the two women 0:27:16.720 --> 0:27:20.600 hadn't spoken in months, but Treng hesitantly broke the silence 0:27:20.640 --> 0:27:24.720 to ask if Sinnadu was okay. Sinnadu waved her off 0:27:24.720 --> 0:27:28.879 without saying a word, so Treg left to focus on 0:27:28.880 --> 0:27:33.800 her exam. Once she was finished, Trang met Tao back 0:27:33.840 --> 0:27:37.399 at the dorm before heading out to celebrate together. They 0:27:37.440 --> 0:27:40.480 watched a movie in another friend's room until about two am, 0:27:40.760 --> 0:27:43.439 when they returned to tray in Sinadu's room to sleep. 0:27:44.600 --> 0:27:47.360 This time, they found Cinnadu lying face down on her 0:27:47.359 --> 0:27:51.359 bed with the light on. The two friends talked for 0:27:51.359 --> 0:27:53.760 a while in Trang's bed about how far each of 0:27:53.800 --> 0:27:56.879 them had come, the summer ahead, and their big dreams 0:27:56.880 --> 0:28:01.240 for the future. Sometime before eight am, the girls woke 0:28:01.320 --> 0:28:05.600 to an alarm. After realizing it was Sinnadou's, the two 0:28:05.720 --> 0:28:09.359 closed their eyes again. Tal heard the sound of running 0:28:09.359 --> 0:28:12.560 water coming from the bathroom before drifting back to sleep. 0:28:14.200 --> 0:28:17.879 Some time later, Tao awoke to see Sinnadu standing above 0:28:17.960 --> 0:28:22.560 Trayng's small bed, silently stabbing Trang with a five inch 0:28:22.640 --> 0:28:28.080 hunting knife. There was a glazed, determined expression on Sinnadu's face. 0:28:29.400 --> 0:28:32.679 Tal watched as Traying held up her hands to block 0:28:32.720 --> 0:28:36.960 the knife and cry out, but no sound escaped her lips. 0:28:37.720 --> 0:28:40.320 Tal sat up and tried to grab the knife from Sinnadu, 0:28:40.920 --> 0:28:44.360 but Sinnadu pulled it away, slicing through Too's hand in 0:28:44.400 --> 0:28:49.760 the process. That's when instinct took over. Tal rolled out 0:28:49.760 --> 0:28:53.400 of bed and stumbled toward the dorm room door. Her 0:28:53.440 --> 0:28:57.360 life was in danger. She had to escape. Blood from 0:28:57.360 --> 0:28:59.920 her hand smeared on the handle as she pulled open 0:29:00.120 --> 0:29:04.320 the door and dragged her body into the quiet hallway. 0:29:04.360 --> 0:29:09.240 Then she heard the sound she'd never forget, the heavy, 0:29:09.960 --> 0:29:15.040 self locking door clicking shut behind her. Towel was safe 0:29:15.080 --> 0:29:19.040 in the hall, but now only someone with a key 0:29:19.320 --> 0:29:22.760 would be able to get into that room, and the 0:29:22.800 --> 0:29:27.560 only two people who had a key were inside. Training 0:29:28.160 --> 0:29:32.320 was trapped in a panic. Towel ran down the hall, 0:29:32.400 --> 0:29:36.480 banging on doors, trying desperately to get someone's attention, but 0:29:36.600 --> 0:29:39.240 it was early in the morning on a Saturday, few 0:29:39.280 --> 0:29:42.720 students were awake. Finally, she got the attention of a 0:29:42.720 --> 0:29:46.960 student in the quad, who called the police. When officers 0:29:47.080 --> 0:29:50.280 entered the room, the first thing they saw was Traying 0:29:51.120 --> 0:29:55.200 lying lifeless on the floor with forty five stab wounds 0:29:55.360 --> 0:30:00.320 to her face, chest and legs. Sinnadu appe apeared to 0:30:00.360 --> 0:30:05.800 be missing until they checked the bathroom. There, hanging from 0:30:05.800 --> 0:30:08.560 the ceiling by the rope she'd purchased a week earlier. 0:30:09.080 --> 0:30:14.960 With Sinnadu's body, officers attempted to resuscitate her, but pronounced 0:30:15.000 --> 0:30:18.960