1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: advice on relationship, dating, work, sex, parenting, or whatever else 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,600 Speaker 1: you're going through, submit to Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey 4 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: FM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. Uck, it's 5 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:18,640 Speaker 1: on you. Here we go. Subject. I'm married to an escort. 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,920 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been married for almost two years now. 7 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 1: I met my wife on the Dayton web site. She 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,200 Speaker 1: was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, and we 9 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,160 Speaker 1: met in person and quickly fell in love. I came 10 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,200 Speaker 1: with a little baggage and she admitted that she did too. 11 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: We're in our mid forties, so we agreed that our 12 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 1: past was the past, so that's where we leave it. 13 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: She works as a as a guest service manager at 14 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: an elite country club, so I can golf at the 15 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: club for free. The older wealthy men are very fond 16 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: of my wife and they often come in on how 17 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: lucky I am to have her. Well a week ago 18 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: I found out why the men loved my wife so much. 19 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,400 Speaker 1: I was checking my emails one day, but my wife 20 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: had not logged out of her email account, and a 21 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:15,040 Speaker 1: notification popped up that she had a new message. The preview. 22 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,759 Speaker 1: The preview of an email said, if you are free 23 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:24,039 Speaker 1: this weekend, please call. I'm not a snooper, but I 24 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: read the message. It was from one of the executives 25 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,320 Speaker 1: at the country club. He basically wanted to hire my 26 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 1: wife to help him host some of the influential businessmen 27 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:40,200 Speaker 1: that would be in town golfing. He went on to 28 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: say that he knows she's no longer in the business, 29 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: but he would pay her well if she could help 30 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: him out this last time. I was shocked and I 31 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 1: confronted her. She told me that until three years ago, 32 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: she was a professional escort and she did it in 33 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 1: part while she worked at the club, and she did 34 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 1: a part time while she worked at the club. She 35 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: said sex was involved occasionally if the price was right. 36 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 1: She swore that it was in the past and she'd 37 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: never go back. She destroyed that email accountant and called 38 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: the man in front of me to tell him no. 39 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,799 Speaker 1: I've asked her to quit her job, but she refuses. 40 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: Should I trust her since she has totally excuse me? 41 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 1: Should I trust her since she was totally honest about it? Right? Wow? 42 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 1: Is right? Steve all Right? Married for two years? You 43 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,680 Speaker 1: all are still kind of newly was and you guys 44 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: met on the dating site and you said that she's 45 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: the most beautiful lady you've ever seen. Well, your wife 46 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,360 Speaker 1: works as a guest service manager at Elite country Club, 47 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,799 Speaker 1: and it's cool for you. You get to golf for free, 48 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 1: and you found out that the older man at the 49 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 1: country club are fond of your wife. And then you 50 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:03,919 Speaker 1: found an email where a country club executive asked your 51 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 1: wife if she could host some influential men in town 52 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: for golfing event. And when you asked your wife about it, 53 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 1: and that's when she told you she used to be 54 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 1: a professional escort and she sometimes had sex, but she 55 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: was not about that life anymore. Finding out that your 56 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:30,800 Speaker 1: wife was an escort, that's tough. That's who that's tough. Now, 57 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: you both came into this relationship with baggage, and it's 58 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: typical in any relationship to have baggage, especially in your forties. 59 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: But with that being said, you did agree not to 60 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 1: bring up the past, so it's really not cool for 61 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: you not to trust her. She even called the guy 62 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: told him not to contact her anymore in front of you. 63 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 1: She said he was given gave her an offer, but 64 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: she didn't accept it, so you have to take her 65 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 1: word that the past is in the past and that 66 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: she's not about that anymore. And I'm sure you have 67 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: a few skeletons that you haven't told her about in 68 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 1: your past. So at this point you either have to 69 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:18,839 Speaker 1: trust your wife and stay with her if you really 70 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:23,160 Speaker 1: love her, or if you can't get past her former 71 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: life and her former occupation. I don't know, you may 72 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 1: have to. I mean, that's tough finding that your wife 73 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: is to be an escort. I mean that's tough. Steve, 74 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 1: what you got I ain't with this hill. You better 75 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 1: than me, Joe. I'm just gonna be real with you. 76 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 1: I can only answer this letter. Look, man, look, first 77 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: of all, I think you may have found a beautiful person. 78 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,039 Speaker 1: I think you may have found the person that you 79 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 1: can make it to the cross, that you can cross 80 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: the finish line with it. You all all in love 81 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: with each other. You don't have trust issues. You found 82 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: the email. She admitted to it. Now you and your 83 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: mid for this, y'all agreed to leave your past in 84 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 1: the past. That's what y'all said. Email popped up. You 85 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,159 Speaker 1: find out that your girl, the most beautiful girl that 86 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:21,360 Speaker 1: you met on the website, found out she was working 87 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,720 Speaker 1: as an escort and a lot of her business came 88 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: from the country club that she had. Now because the 89 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,920 Speaker 1: dude that asked her to help him out this weekend 90 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 1: with some golfing people that's coming in town, and I 91 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:38,040 Speaker 1: know you probably don't do this no more, but I'll 92 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:42,720 Speaker 1: pay you real well. Now, me, I can't do this. 93 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: I can't do this if you are going to stay 94 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: with this woman, and I think you should, because people change, 95 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 1: everybody grows. She's admitted to what her deal was. You 96 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 1: said you came with some baggage. She said, she came 97 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:02,160 Speaker 1: with some she defined dound you and you didn't found her. Now, 98 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: the fact that you can play golf for free, now 99 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 1: now that that is that that that can't be that 100 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: big a perk. Now, So now they still know, and 101 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: they all fasten that you found a wonderful woman. You 102 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 1: are lucky. Wait a minute, man, hold up, partner, how wonderful. 103 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 1: Then she's admitted that sometimes this led to sex if 104 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 1: the price was right. We all know what that is now. Yeah, 105 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna take commercial breaks so you can think 106 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: about what I just said. Didn't get ready to drink 107 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 1: what I'm about to Part two of Steve's response coming 108 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes after the hour, will be 109 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: right back. You're listening, all right off part two, let's 110 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 1: three cap to day Strawberry. Let him man, I'm married 111 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 1: to an escort. Well Broun. This dude to found out 112 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 1: in his mid for this this woman he met on 113 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 1: the website. They fell in love, decided to get married 114 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 1: and agreed that they He came with a little baggage 115 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 1: and she did too. They agreed to ly. They passed 116 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 1: in the past. He was opening up an email one day, 117 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: her email popped up notification somebody wanted her to hang 118 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: out with this golf outing through the golf club that 119 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: she works out and would pay her way healthy. No, 120 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: you don't do this no more, but I will pay 121 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: you well if you could just help me out this 122 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 1: one last time. So now here's obviously this other man 123 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: who's trying to seduce your wife for one more time 124 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 1: with a little extra money. Your wife admits that she 125 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 1: used to be an escort and sometimes it resulted in 126 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 1: sex if the price was right. Okay, So now that 127 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: your wife and you get to play golf down there 128 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 1: free now and all the men down that telling you 129 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 1: how lucky you are to have her. Well, here's a 130 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 1: problem now. See she took the website down. She called 131 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 1: the guy in front of you so she could prove 132 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: to you that she was changed. Okay, cool, great move 133 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 1: by the sister. I ain't matter. People have passed, people 134 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:32,439 Speaker 1: make mistakes. But you've asked her to leave her job. 135 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: She says she's not leaving her job. Now that's where 136 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 1: we got the problem, because at this point I'm gonna 137 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,319 Speaker 1: need all these ties cut because I can. I can 138 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 1: deal with not bringing up your pass, but your pass 139 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 1: can't keep coming up in my face either. And if 140 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 1: I'm down at the country club now, I don't know 141 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,679 Speaker 1: who you'd have been with. I don't know who trying 142 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: to solicit you. I don't know who if they're trying 143 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: to coach you. One more week in all this here, 144 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 1: and you know how men are. Me and a competitive 145 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 1: I know you don't do this no more, but just 146 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: one more time, I'll dumping your fee. I'll triple your feet. See, 147 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,120 Speaker 1: you can't even be talking to my girl like that, 148 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:09,960 Speaker 1: and she not fit to entertaining. So the problem that 149 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 1: you have, brother, is and it's a male problem. Your 150 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,719 Speaker 1: ego is in it now, and I can't tell you 151 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:21,520 Speaker 1: that mine wouldn't coause mine would be so now. But 152 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: you have to leave this job because the only reason 153 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,720 Speaker 1: you became an escort is because you was available down 154 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 1: there at that job. Now you give up the escort part, 155 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,719 Speaker 1: but you want to keep the job. See, that's why 156 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:38,640 Speaker 1: it gets a little sticky for me. I damn sure, 157 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 1: don't want to play golf down here, no more for free? Right. 158 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,680 Speaker 1: Let me just go and get these two sixty five 159 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 1: and go somewhere else and play now. Bro, Look, man, 160 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 1: I don't think you should leave your girl. I think 161 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,080 Speaker 1: it's something y'all can work through. But I think everybody 162 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,640 Speaker 1: need to take a fresh start because the past and 163 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 1: popped up now it ain't stay there. That's the problem 164 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: with sin. Seeing cost you more than you want to 165 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: pay and make you stay longer than you want to stay. 166 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 1: All sin has that rule. It comes with it. Every 167 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 1: sin I've ever committed costed me more than I wanted 168 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 1: to pay and made me stay in it longer than 169 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 1: I wanted to stay every single time. Ain't no free sin, dog, 170 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: So now that's the problem. Lord Jesus man, but you 171 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 1: have to back. Ain't gonna same mistake, just keep saying 172 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,440 Speaker 1: this is my last time. This. Just just let me 173 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 1: get this one out the way. Jesus forgive me. Yes, well, 174 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 1: I know not. She won't leave the job the past. 175 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 1: Don't get to stay that. Yeah. See, I think what 176 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 1: they need to do, these two people in their mind 177 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 1: for this, need to get themselves a fresh start. Yeah. 178 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 1: So she needs to compromise with her husband and leave 179 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: the job. I got you, ain't got the website, but 180 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 1: I just saw it. This, just this a few days ago. 181 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 1: I got you. Don't do that no more. But but 182 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,560 Speaker 1: a man just asked you down there, would you do 183 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 1: it one more time? Yea. Now, since everybody down there 184 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:19,080 Speaker 1: know your escort, I'm married to the damn escort. Everybody 185 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 1: telling me how lucky I am, How the hell I'm 186 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:30,800 Speaker 1: lucky to have your hooker. It's hard. That's tough. No man, 187 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,640 Speaker 1: that's that's that's tough. So but bro, listen to me. 188 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:38,319 Speaker 1: This ain't no thing that's all over town. You can 189 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,280 Speaker 1: get past this. But I think everybody needs a fresh start. 190 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: And I think once you set your wife down and say, hey, look, 191 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,719 Speaker 1: this is causing me a lot of anxiety here. It's 192 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,320 Speaker 1: causing me a lot of a lot of bad feelings. 193 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 1: My male ego is crushed because I love you and 194 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,200 Speaker 1: I love you as you are. But I can not 195 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 1: face this and I'm just gonna be on my male 196 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: ego can't deal with it. Who else job is that 197 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 1: important to you? You know who else? Know who? If 198 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 1: your job is that important to you, then maybe your 199 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 1: job is more important than me. And I don't want 200 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 1: to make you have to pick between the two. But 201 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,480 Speaker 1: that's really where we at. If it's something I was 202 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,720 Speaker 1: doing that was making you so uncomfortable that it made 203 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,320 Speaker 1: you unhappy, I would I would understand if you put 204 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 1: the ultimatum in front of me, because I just where 205 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,679 Speaker 1: we go? You do you know anybody in here? Or 206 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,240 Speaker 1: I get to having a good time? You know anybody 207 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,520 Speaker 1: in here? I don't think I'm that guy. I don't 208 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: think I can do it. Yeah, you meaning you don't 209 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 1: think that you could get past her? Because everybody everywhere 210 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: I go, I'll be sitting at the dinner table. What 211 00:12:52,960 --> 00:13:01,719 Speaker 1: he looking over here? For? Yeah? Man? Man, I said this, hey, 212 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: miss Jackson, how you doing? How here? He knows? Yeah? 213 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Steve Harvey film on 214 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook, and don't forget to check out the 215 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand coming up at forty six 216 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 1: after the hour, our girl from the Talk Sheryl Underwood. 217 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,080 Speaker 1: Right after this you're listening to st