Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is to look for the garbage cans. Often
Speaker 1: the images we see of other people's lives have had
Speaker 1: parts strategically left out. When you pay attention, you can
Speaker 1: see that which can keep you from comparing your real
Speaker 1: life to an unattainable fantasy. If you read my blog
Speaker 1: Laura Vanderkam dot com, you saw that my family recently
Speaker 1: put our house on the market. Real estate photos are
Speaker 1: quite the genre. I am fascinated by the fact that
Speaker 1: photographers invariably remove the trash cans before snapping pictures. If
Speaker 1: you haven't noticed this before, pull up your favorite real
Speaker 1: estate site and you will see what I mean. You
Speaker 1: will see home offices and bathrooms and kitchens and laundry
Speaker 1: rooms with no garbage cans anywhere. Apparently, in our dream
Speaker 1: home fantasies, we never need to throw away banana peels
Speaker 1: or dental floss or used dryer sheets. When photos were
Speaker 1: taken of our house before we listed it, we even
Speaker 1: took the shampoo out of the shower and the dish
Speaker 1: soap away from the kitchen. Sink. I'm not quite sure
Speaker 1: how a house and its inhabitants are supposed to stay
Speaker 1: clean without dish, soap, shampoo, or trash cans, but that
Speaker 1: is the fantasy. Real estate sites aren't the only places
Speaker 1: where the staged image can be different from the reality.
Speaker 1: Social media of photos and posts, holiday letters, class notes
Speaker 1: in your alumni newsletter. All of these our contexts where
Speaker 1: people routinely construct an image of their lives, where the
Speaker 1: real and metaphorical garbage cans have been put somewhere else.
Speaker 1: And of course there's nothing wrong with this. Who wouldn't
Speaker 1: crop the a mound of dirty laundry out of that
Speaker 1: photo of your dog before posting it on Instagram? You
Speaker 1: really don't need to report in the class notes that
Speaker 1: you and your spouse are arguing daily about how to
Speaker 1: parent your team. The problem comes when we compare someone
Speaker 1: else's edited image with our own messy reality. Of course,
Speaker 1: we feel like our lives just can't compare with the
Speaker 1: fantasy of someone else's life in all its waste basketless glory.
Speaker 1: But instead of getting discouraged, remind your self to look
Speaker 1: for the garbage cans if you are looking at a
Speaker 1: picture of someone's home office and there doesn't appear to
Speaker 1: be anywhere that you could throw away a piece of paper,
Speaker 1: then you can recognize that this is probably not the
Speaker 1: normal state of affairs. Everyone needs to throw things away,
Speaker 1: even people who live in houses that look like they
Speaker 1: belong on Pinterest. Indeed, in the throws of dinner or
Speaker 1: a big project, their kitchen or home office probably looks
Speaker 1: a lot like yours. If you don't see the garbage can,
Speaker 1: you can rest assured that it is just hidden out
Speaker 1: of your view. You aren't being shown the full picture.
Speaker 1: Everybody has a little disorder in their lives, even if
Speaker 1: we crop it out when we can, so don't compare
Speaker 1: your life to that fiction. He will just wind up
Speaker 1: unhappy or maybe hiding your own trash can. And then
Speaker 1: where are you going to throw away your dirty tissues?
Speaker 1: In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and
Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at before Breakfast pod
Speaker 1: that's B the number four then Breakfast p o D.
Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at before Breakfast
Speaker 1: podcast at iHeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is
Speaker 1: spelled out with all the letters, thanks so much, should
Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is
Speaker 1: a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from
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