WEBVTT - Look for the garbage cans

0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:06.680
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:15.480
<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

0:00:16.920 --> 0:00:22.520
<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to look for the garbage cans. Often

0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:26.279
<v Speaker 1>the images we see of other people's lives have had

0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:32.760
<v Speaker 1>parts strategically left out. When you pay attention, you can

0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:37.120
<v Speaker 1>see that which can keep you from comparing your real

0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:43.600
<v Speaker 1>life to an unattainable fantasy. If you read my blog

0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:47.720
<v Speaker 1>Laura Vanderkam dot com, you saw that my family recently

0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:52.320
<v Speaker 1>put our house on the market. Real estate photos are

0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:56.880
<v Speaker 1>quite the genre. I am fascinated by the fact that

0:00:56.920 --> 0:01:03.639
<v Speaker 1>photographers invariably remove the trash cans before snapping pictures. If

0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:07.080
<v Speaker 1>you haven't noticed this before, pull up your favorite real

0:01:07.200 --> 0:01:10.600
<v Speaker 1>estate site and you will see what I mean. You

0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:15.319
<v Speaker 1>will see home offices and bathrooms and kitchens and laundry

0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:21.119
<v Speaker 1>rooms with no garbage cans anywhere. Apparently, in our dream

0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:25.559
<v Speaker 1>home fantasies, we never need to throw away banana peels

0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:29.720
<v Speaker 1>or dental floss or used dryer sheets. When photos were

0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:32.800
<v Speaker 1>taken of our house before we listed it, we even

0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:36.000
<v Speaker 1>took the shampoo out of the shower and the dish

0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:39.960
<v Speaker 1>soap away from the kitchen. Sink. I'm not quite sure

0:01:40.000 --> 0:01:43.720
<v Speaker 1>how a house and its inhabitants are supposed to stay

0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:49.960
<v Speaker 1>clean without dish, soap, shampoo, or trash cans, but that

0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:54.560
<v Speaker 1>is the fantasy. Real estate sites aren't the only places

0:01:54.600 --> 0:01:58.040
<v Speaker 1>where the staged image can be different from the reality.

0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:04.320
<v Speaker 1>Social media of photos and posts, holiday letters, class notes

0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:09.120
<v Speaker 1>in your alumni newsletter. All of these our contexts where

0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:12.919
<v Speaker 1>people routinely construct an image of their lives, where the

0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:17.360
<v Speaker 1>real and metaphorical garbage cans have been put somewhere else.

0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:22.280
<v Speaker 1>And of course there's nothing wrong with this. Who wouldn't

0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:24.520
<v Speaker 1>crop the a mound of dirty laundry out of that

0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:28.280
<v Speaker 1>photo of your dog before posting it on Instagram? You

0:02:28.320 --> 0:02:31.520
<v Speaker 1>really don't need to report in the class notes that

0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:35.840
<v Speaker 1>you and your spouse are arguing daily about how to

0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:40.560
<v Speaker 1>parent your team. The problem comes when we compare someone

0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:46.840
<v Speaker 1>else's edited image with our own messy reality. Of course,

0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:49.960
<v Speaker 1>we feel like our lives just can't compare with the

0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:55.359
<v Speaker 1>fantasy of someone else's life in all its waste basketless glory.

0:02:57.040 --> 0:03:01.400
<v Speaker 1>But instead of getting discouraged, remind your self to look

0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:04.880
<v Speaker 1>for the garbage cans if you are looking at a

0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:08.679
<v Speaker 1>picture of someone's home office and there doesn't appear to

0:03:08.720 --> 0:03:11.920
<v Speaker 1>be anywhere that you could throw away a piece of paper,

0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:16.919
<v Speaker 1>then you can recognize that this is probably not the

0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:23.160
<v Speaker 1>normal state of affairs. Everyone needs to throw things away,

0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.960
<v Speaker 1>even people who live in houses that look like they

0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:32.959
<v Speaker 1>belong on Pinterest. Indeed, in the throws of dinner or

0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:39.080
<v Speaker 1>a big project, their kitchen or home office probably looks

0:03:39.160 --> 0:03:44.080
<v Speaker 1>a lot like yours. If you don't see the garbage can,

0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.960
<v Speaker 1>you can rest assured that it is just hidden out

0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:52.680
<v Speaker 1>of your view. You aren't being shown the full picture.

0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:58.240
<v Speaker 1>Everybody has a little disorder in their lives, even if

0:03:58.280 --> 0:04:02.680
<v Speaker 1>we crop it out when we can, so don't compare

0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:07.240
<v Speaker 1>your life to that fiction. He will just wind up

0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:11.360
<v Speaker 1>unhappy or maybe hiding your own trash can. And then

0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:15.040
<v Speaker 1>where are you going to throw away your dirty tissues?

0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:21.960
<v Speaker 1>In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:32.039
<v Speaker 1>here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:34.400
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:38.080
<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:42.480
<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at before Breakfast pod

0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:47.520
<v Speaker 1>that's B the number four then Breakfast p o D.

0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:51.240
<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at before Breakfast

0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:54.880
<v Speaker 1>podcast at iHeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is

0:04:54.920 --> 0:04:57.640
<v Speaker 1>spelled out with all the letters, thanks so much, should

0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:05.719
<v Speaker 1>I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:08.920
<v Speaker 1>a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from

0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:12.960
<v Speaker 1>I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:17.480
<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H