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Speaker 1: Hello, do you need ride fans? It's Christopher James Fairbanks,

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Speaker 1: letting you know about a few shows I have coming

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Speaker 1: up here in May. On the tenth, Brooklyn, New York,

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Speaker 1: I'll be at the Bellhouse. If you live in New York,

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Speaker 1: please go to that show. I'm very excited about it.

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Speaker 1: And then the next night, the eleventh, I'll be in

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Speaker 1: jam and Java. Please be BBD in Vienna, Virginia. That's

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Speaker 1: near DC. Closing out this little run, I'll be at

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Speaker 1: City Winery this time in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Please go to

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Speaker 1: Chris Fairbanks dot com for tickets. Thank you and you're welcome.

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Speaker 2: I leave then I you wanna way back either you

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Speaker 2: wanna be.

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Speaker 1: There, doesn't matter how much baggage you clean.

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Speaker 3: Thank us time and day. Turman Al engage.

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Speaker 1: We want to send you us in soil. We wanna

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Speaker 1: welcome you back home.

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Speaker 3: Tell us about it. We scared or was it fine? Malborn?

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Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 1: Do you need with Karen and Chris welcome to Do

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Speaker 1: you need to ride?

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Speaker 3: This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgaroff.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Karen. I feel like I haven't seen you in days,

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Speaker 1: just mere days. Yeah, I saw you in real life.

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Speaker 3: I know that was that was incredible.

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Speaker 1: It had been more than a year. That's what a

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Speaker 1: lot of people don't know.

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Speaker 3: That's how hilarious.

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Speaker 1: Is that not true?

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Speaker 3: I don't think it's true, but it isn't. But it

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Speaker 3: can't be far off because it's been so long.

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Speaker 1: But it was very fun and I, you know, after

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Speaker 1: it was on the heels of that diet. I had

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Speaker 1: the best cheeses. It was my first day off of

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Speaker 1: that damn thing. And I still feel great though I

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Speaker 1: had a little cheese, big deal. Still haven't drink. I

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Speaker 1: think I haven't without going through any sort of program.

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Speaker 1: I tricked myself into not drinking anymore.

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Speaker 3: That's good. Yeah, well you're doing it. You don't need

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Speaker 3: a program if you can do it based on just

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Speaker 3: purely how you feel, and you feel that much of

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Speaker 3: an improvement. That's why sometimes those and here it do

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Speaker 3: you need a ride. We do not endorse dieting in

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Speaker 3: any way, except if you have arthritic inflammations exactly some

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Speaker 3: kind of a you know, gas strotestinal issue whatever.

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Speaker 1: We only approve of dieting for medical purposes.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, or if you just feel shitty and that is

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Speaker 3: somehow going to They understand.

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Speaker 1: I felt medically shitty and now I feel terrific. My

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Speaker 1: brain works better. That's the one thing I noted once

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Speaker 1: I started doing stand up. I was like, I was

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Speaker 1: remembering all my jokes, and that made me realize, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm usually kind of drunk by the second show, just

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Speaker 1: out of habit, and that was a weird realization. All

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Speaker 1: of my shows went well. I thought that just with

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Speaker 1: stand up you had to have a couple bad shows,

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Speaker 1: but I think it.

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Speaker 3: Was me Well, I think these are the kinds of

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Speaker 3: things we adapt to. First of all, I became a

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Speaker 3: stand up comedian because I was an alcoholic, and it

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Speaker 3: was the perfect like a thing to It wasn't it

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Speaker 3: was more than a hobby. It was like something I

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Speaker 3: was really trying to do. But at the same time,

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Speaker 3: it was the perfect setup to be like, well, if

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Speaker 3: I don't have a drink in my hand, that's weird.

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Speaker 3: I'll be the weird one.

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Speaker 1: Especially, Yeah, you're getting paid and drinks when you first start.

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Speaker 3: Yes, And also it's like I could have chosen to

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Speaker 3: be a librarian, but you know that didn't get me

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Speaker 3: closer to the drink quotient that I wanted to be

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Speaker 3: reaching every single night.

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Speaker 1: So I do remember my high school librarian did have

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Speaker 1: a flask in her drawer. So you can still party, which.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I guess that's true. I think it. Depending

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Speaker 3: on the school you work out, you probably want to.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, you know there.

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Speaker 1: Was a lot of teachers with flasks. Yeah yeah, yeah, Well.

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Speaker 3: We support teachers drinking anytime they want, day or not,

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Speaker 3: exactly whatever, as long as you're not hitting anybody.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, as long as it makes you an ire teacher.

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Speaker 3: If you get ire with it, yea support you definitely

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Speaker 3: do it after work down at Applebee's for sure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, of course please. Speaking of Island vibes, I'm very

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Speaker 1: excited about our guests today.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, the perfect seguee.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I mean they just flow out of me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah you get it.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I totally get it. It's always it's always there,

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Speaker 1: you know, are from clubs and colleges across the country, writer,

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Speaker 1: podcast or hilarious comedian. Everyone put your ears together for

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Speaker 1: Test Barker. Hi, Hi Test, Hi Test.

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Speaker 3: Hello Hello how's it going, you know, pretty good TVH.

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Speaker 3: It sounded like you were being h and I appreciate that. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I try to keep it age scarin the good. That's

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Speaker 3: nice because you it almost felt like a discovery as

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Speaker 3: you were saying it, like pretty good.

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Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, well, because I feel like today kind of

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Speaker 2: felt like that day because it got like warm today

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Speaker 2: and so it kind of feels like the first day

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Speaker 2: where I'm like pretty good, Like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, i had an Italian sub for lunch. I've been

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Speaker 3: listening to Jewel all day, really warm, pretty good. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's a real no complaints day right there with you

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Speaker 3: just described that sounds like me in ninety one. Yeah exactly.

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Speaker 1: You just said said that was like a time machine.

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Speaker 1: I never forgot about Jewel.

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Speaker 2: I know, every three years I remember about her, and

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Speaker 2: I'm so glad I did.

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Speaker 3: And I was actually caremul I was listening to her.

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Speaker 2: I was like, you kind of have you remind me

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Speaker 2: of Jewel a little bit like you guys both have

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Speaker 2: that like clear folk.

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Speaker 3: Thank you. Yeah, I have to be honest right now

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Speaker 3: and say that in my in my I would say

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Speaker 3: my sophomore year of comedy, I went in pretty hard

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Speaker 3: on the low affair just because that was what you're

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Speaker 3: supposed to do at the time. Is about being contrary

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Speaker 3: and calling out things. And so while a lot of

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Speaker 3: that chunk of comedy I talked about Jewel and an

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Speaker 3: I mean way, And it does make me feel guilty

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Speaker 3: now because that was back when comedy truly could only

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Speaker 3: exist in the one moment you did it again unless

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Speaker 3: somebody was videotaping, which they almost never were unless you

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Speaker 3: paid them twenty dollars. So I do have like, anytime

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Speaker 3: anyone even brings up Jewel, I feel guilty because it's

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Speaker 3: really mean. Wow.

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Speaker 2: But I mean, I think you can be absolved now

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Speaker 2: and no one needed to know that, You're right.

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Speaker 3: I'm just I'm putting it out there as a like,

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Speaker 3: get this out of me and yeah, so we don't

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Speaker 3: have to talk about it. It's the Catholic things.

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Speaker 2: Sean does that to me all the time, Like he

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Speaker 2: confesses his like food to me, hope, like I had

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Speaker 2: six wings and then bacon like on my sandwich and

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Speaker 2: like six hel marys.

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Speaker 3: I what's the answer, what's the answer to that? To

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Speaker 3: that amount of wings?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 3: It doesn't feel good though I love coming clean about stuff.

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Speaker 3: It feels. Then it's you're like, okay, like now I'm

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Speaker 3: done with that. Yeah you hangle light on it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, come all the way clean and tell this jewel joke.

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Speaker 1: It's not on YouTube. I just searched now.

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Speaker 3: You literally I could not remember I talk about her

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Speaker 3: having a baby talking like a baby, and then I'm

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Speaker 3: sure it was something that led to pedophilia.

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Speaker 1: Okay, oh right, yeah, because oh you like if you

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Speaker 1: like that, because for a while I get it.

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Speaker 3: I give it was just you know, I feel like

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Speaker 3: in the early nineties comedy there was just a lot

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Speaker 3: of wild swings at whoever was like on a magazine

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Speaker 3: at the time. Yeah, it's just like what we were

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Speaker 3: all doing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and Lila Fair was easy to make fun of unfortunately,

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Speaker 2: but then like.

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Speaker 3: Looking back, it slept completely like I mean, oh my god.

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Speaker 3: And also that was all I just caught. Somebody just

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Speaker 3: retweeted something, a video of it, and it was Sarah

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Speaker 3: McLaughlan was the one that did it all because she

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Speaker 3: was so sick of like all these female musicians were

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Speaker 3: like killing it in the charts, but they were just

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Speaker 3: constantly being compared to each other and like, oh, well,

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Speaker 3: if you're here aren't you mad at so and so?

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Speaker 3: It was like all that bullshit, you know, it was

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Speaker 3: just moments ago. It was so much more hideously sexist

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Speaker 3: and anti women even, you know, just like women doing

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Speaker 3: it to women myself included men doing it to it. It

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Speaker 3: was just like crazy, you couldn't succeed enough without somebody

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Speaker 3: coming along to be like, hen, you're just one of

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Speaker 3: those gariels or whatever. So her explaining it of the

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Speaker 3: whole little of Fair thing, which is like, couldn't you

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Speaker 3: have workshopped that name a little bit?

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Speaker 2: That's the problem and the font, if we're being honest,

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Speaker 2: I think it was like it's very I'm giving like

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Speaker 2: Celtic fair.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there had to be a Celtic not in there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yes there was. There was some sort of Enya

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Speaker 3: pointing to Enya style, you know, lowercase along why tail

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Speaker 3: on the why just the type of vibe.

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Speaker 1: Can I tell you guys, I haven't.

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Speaker 3: I guess I don't know what. I guess.

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Speaker 2: I'm just going through a nineties thing right now. But

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Speaker 2: I have a neighbor who has a bumper sticker that

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Speaker 2: says I had rather be crying to Ya, and I

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Speaker 2: just wanted to find out who this person is and

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Speaker 2: befriend them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that is so specific. That's like someone that they

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Speaker 1: had to have that bumper stick.

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Speaker 3: Man, right, yeah, what if it's it turns out it's

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Speaker 3: just Brandy Posey's card.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, here are any friends with her? Fifteen years?

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Speaker 2: I never knew Posey wasn't in your head.

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Speaker 1: No, she's crying a real big fish.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, crying to scot that's disturbing. Oh my god, I'd

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Speaker 3: rather be crying to yet. And Yeah, here's what I

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Speaker 3: love is when people there was one that uh one

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Speaker 3: that went viral that somebody took. It looked like they

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Speaker 3: were behind them in the Starbucks drive through line or whatever,

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Speaker 3: and it said tell your cat, I said, which is

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Speaker 3: the fucking funniest bumper sticker of all time?

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Speaker 1: Is so good?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's incredible. People are funny, Like I know, I

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Speaker 3: used to just think like it was me and my

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Speaker 3: friends and maybe eight other people, like you had to

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Speaker 3: do stand up to be funny. And it's like, here's

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Speaker 3: the sad news. Everybody's funny. Yeah, yeah, it's true.

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Speaker 2: That guy at the bar that's like everyone says, I'm funny,

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Speaker 2: Like he stand ups like to be like why don't

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Speaker 2: you stand up. You're not funny. He's funny. He is

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Speaker 2: the junk guy at the bar's funny. Like, no one's

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Speaker 2: funnier than my grandpa. Like I was talking at my

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Speaker 2: grandpa's ninety two and I was talking to him, like

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Speaker 2: he was telling me about this trip he went onto

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Speaker 2: Mexico a few years ago. I said, did you see

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Speaker 2: the ruins when you were in Mexico and you just

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Speaker 2: went the only ruins around were me?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Like high five?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love Grandpa's joking about partying exactly.

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Speaker 3: Did you guys see that video when the lady, some

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Speaker 3: lady ran up onto like Mayan temple and everybody there

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Speaker 3: started screaming. It was like it's so, you know, obviously

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Speaker 3: a sacred sight and so being preserved and all that stuff.

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Speaker 3: And some lady tried r ran halfway up to try

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Speaker 3: to like get her picture or whatever, and the entire

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Speaker 3: group that was there just people just started screaming at ours.

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Speaker 3: Look that one up. It's amazing.

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Speaker 2: That sounds like a really did she succeed in taking

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Speaker 2: the picture? Or is it like when a model falls?

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Speaker 3: It was she It was kind of far away, so

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Speaker 3: I'm you know, somebody was videoing it, but everyone was

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Speaker 3: because that's the only thing you're looking at is this

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Speaker 3: big temple in front of you that's been there for like,

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Speaker 3: you know, a thousand years or more. But what was

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Speaker 3: great is just there's people yelling at her in Spanish,

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Speaker 3: people yelling at her in English. It was just like

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Speaker 3: everyone there was just like you're disgusting, Like how dare you?

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Speaker 3: I can't remember if she was trying to selfie it

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Speaker 3: or what the situation was, but people were having none

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Speaker 3: of it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, amazing, And I think those are like not standard

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Speaker 2: steps like you have.

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Speaker 3: That's a lot of efforting.

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Speaker 2: Those are like Mayan height steps, yes, yeah, for not rituals.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a real effort she put into breaking all

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Speaker 3: the rules and getting up there, and then just basically

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Speaker 3: I think, uh, you can get charged with a crime

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Speaker 3: if you do that, Yeah, I would. There's all kinds

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Speaker 3: of stuff I would hope.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And also just bad, did you probably like of all

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Speaker 3: the places? Yes, like terrible.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sacred ground. Yeah, yeah, it reminds me at the time,

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Speaker 1: I was at Glacier Park and they do have signs

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Speaker 1: off the trail. The trail is like a wooden deck

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Speaker 1: that you walk up, but it's a protected tundra, the

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Speaker 1: weird tundras on all these signs, but I saw a

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Speaker 1: ground square or marmot I think it's called. Oh they're great.

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Speaker 1: They have great posture and they yell at you, and

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Speaker 1: they have buff teeth and they're pretty cute. But a

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Speaker 1: bud was like had this guy pinned down and he

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Speaker 1: was pecking at him? So I went to break up

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Speaker 1: the bird and marmot fight because it was he was

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Speaker 1: shrieking horribly. And some lady yelled at me for stepping

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Speaker 1: on the tundra, and I was like, wait, you're putting

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Speaker 1: these it's just weeds, truly occurring weeds. Do you care

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Speaker 1: more about that than these animals? I was trying to

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Speaker 1: get the bird or chase it a way at least,

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Speaker 1: and she confirmed that she cared more about the tundra

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Speaker 1: than this marmot.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Yeah, she was defending the natural order. Like you

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Speaker 3: can't be defending that marmot. Now he's too weak to

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Speaker 3: be existing on the tundra, right, Yeah, she she.

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Speaker 1: Just didn't have a place in her heart for animals,

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Speaker 1: but she did for plants.

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Speaker 2: But like, I don't think Chris that you like that

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Speaker 2: story tells me that you could not be a videographer

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Speaker 2: for a planet Earth because you gotta just let it be.

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Speaker 1: I know, I can't. That was nothing was a more

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Speaker 1: natural occurrence than that bird attacking it. And then I

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Speaker 1: come in with my with my clothes and my my

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Speaker 1: unused camera, and I try and the same way.

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Speaker 2: We saw when I was in Vancouver, we saw some

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Speaker 2: killer whales kill a seal, and like everyone else that

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Speaker 2: we were with loved it, but I just I couldn't.

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Speaker 3: I didn't I loved it.

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Speaker 2: I was the only person on the boat that was

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Speaker 2: like this, this is deeply disturbing.

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Speaker 1: Was it a bunch of heavy metal dudes?

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Speaker 2: It was like yeah, but Kitsie, it was like yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean it was cool seeing the killer whales like

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Speaker 2: up that close and like when they would come out

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Speaker 2: of the water and do flips and stuff.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, of course that was cool.

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Speaker 1: But the blood squirting out, that's not majestic. I what

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Speaker 1: a question of those people on the boat are nuts.

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Speaker 2: Well and actually, well, okay, I'll tell you it's not

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Speaker 2: that bloody. How they do it is actually a little

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Speaker 2: bit more disturbing. They were teaching the baby how to

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Speaker 2: kill and how they do it is they stun the

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Speaker 2: seal and so they kill it and they like put

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Speaker 2: into a coma first, and then they knock it around

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Speaker 2: like a volleyball for a while, oh like.

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Speaker 1: With their tails.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then they take it down and they eat

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Speaker 2: it down deep.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Wow. It starts with head trauma. Yeah wow.

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Speaker 3: But that's nice because then it's there's a it's there's

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Speaker 3: mercy at the beginning. Sure it's not, because here's what's

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Speaker 3: interesting I just heard, and here's the kind of world

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Speaker 3: we're starting to live in. I don't know if I

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Speaker 3: saw this on TikTok, if I heard it on a podcast,

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Speaker 3: if I dreamed it, if I left on animal Planet

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Speaker 3: and went to sleep and drink. So there's this is

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Speaker 3: not verifiable at the moment. And also I'm not giving

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Speaker 3: credit to the people I heard it from, which I

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Speaker 3: apologize for. But whoever, there are two people, so I

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Speaker 3: bet you as a podcast they were talking about how

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Speaker 3: orcas are now killing sharks, so orcas are the are

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Speaker 3: the apex predator of the world. Those people that were

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Speaker 3: cheering on those orcas, we're doing it in a very

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Speaker 3: sea world based way, when in truth they were like

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Speaker 3: that that is the ultimate monster because orcas have started

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Speaker 3: to kill great white sharks by eating their liver, and

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Speaker 3: that's it, because the liver is the most Again, this

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Speaker 3: needs only on Elise, if you wouldn't mind trying to

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Speaker 3: bear this in some way. But it's basically they're getting

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Speaker 3: they're becoming so good at hunting that now they're like,

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Speaker 3: I've hunted you, and this is all I need from

336
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Speaker 3: you because there's so many nutrents and things in that

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Speaker 3: liver that if we just eat this, that's plenty.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I have to see the orca

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Speaker 1: surgery where they isolate and extract just the liver.

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Speaker 2: Right, It's like that Audrey's Tattoo movie where they like,

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Speaker 2: maybe they sell the rest on the black market in

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Speaker 2: the ocean, Like maybe another animal is selling shark brain

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Speaker 2: down on the Mexican Gulf.

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Speaker 3: Yes, that's right, shark fins.

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Speaker 2: Wow, I really, I'm actually I desperately want to go

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Speaker 2: diving with great whites and I found a place in

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Speaker 2: Mexico that I was gonna do it, and they just

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Speaker 2: went out of business.

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Speaker 3: And why did they go out of business? Because someone

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Speaker 3: got eaten? Act one thousand percent.

351
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Speaker 2: Now nobody got eaten A couple of sharks have gotten

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Speaker 2: harmed by digging their noses into the cages, which is

353
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Speaker 2: kind of problematic. But I actually from the article I read,

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Speaker 2: it actually sounds like it was the fishermen in the

355
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Speaker 2: area kind of being dicks to the shark people.

356
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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, this headline that Anally's forwarded kind of answers

357
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Speaker 1: my surgery question, and it's absolutely horrifying. It says, discover

358
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Speaker 1: how killer whales squeeze out great white livers like toothpaste. Yes,

359
00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:33,119
Speaker 1: that's a headline. Without gagging, they continued to type and tell.

360
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Speaker 3: Where is it in the body? Does it have a picture?

361
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:45,439
Speaker 1: No, I'm requiring myself not to view the visuals. I

362
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Speaker 1: just that show. Also, it just makes you think a

363
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,120
Speaker 1: liver toothpaste? Which something?

364
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Speaker 3: Is there a picture?

365
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,200
Speaker 2: If I'm squeamish, I'm afraid there is.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going it's uh oh now, I'm oh no,

367
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna look.

368
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Speaker 3: Wait, it is the squeezing from the middle.

369
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Speaker 1: Okay, I mean, if it's anything like toothpaste, it's from

370
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Speaker 1: the bottom. I don't I Oh, there's no picture of

371
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Speaker 1: the actual liver squeezing. That's just a guind photo. That

372
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 1: shows a otherwise intimidating shark in despair, which I guess

373
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Speaker 1: since they used to be the bullies.

374
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Speaker 3: It's kind of hilarious to see. It looks like Jaws

375
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Speaker 3: is crying as two orches on either side are like

376
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Speaker 3: yeah yeah, and he's like no, yeah.

377
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Speaker 1: I guess. I like that Jaws is crying.

378
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,879
Speaker 3: He's like, guy Scott.

379
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:46,360
Speaker 2: I feel like Steven Spielberg did Sharks so dirty, Like

380
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Speaker 2: you guys just brought up Jaws, Like we have so

381
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Speaker 2: much sharkphobia as a species, and like I when I

382
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Speaker 2: worked at MTV News, they wrote an article about sharks

383
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Speaker 2: in California because I was like, it seems like there's

384
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Speaker 2: been a lot more great Waite spottings in California. I

385
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,880
Speaker 2: talked to a shark scientist who was like, they've been

386
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Speaker 2: here the whole time. We just have drones so now

387
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,840
Speaker 2: we can see them. So like they've not been fucking

388
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 2: with us, right, They've been so vilified by that.

389
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Speaker 3: Movie, right, Tess, I need to do a point counterpoint

390
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 3: with you right now.

391
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Speaker 5: Okay, because I'm from the California, I grew up twenty

392
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Speaker 5: five miles away from Stinson Beach where they surfers get

393
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Speaker 5: eaten by great white sharks constantly.

394
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Speaker 3: It's a thing. They have signs, so a, I'll put

395
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:38,639
Speaker 3: that there, and then b sharks. They only live to

396
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 3: kill things. That is all they do. It's they literally

397
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 3: like don't sleep. I think they're just constantly moving and

398
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,560
Speaker 3: constantly trying to eat things.

399
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Speaker 1: Have you ever seen their teeth going after Yeah, we've

400
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,880
Speaker 1: all seen their teeth and then the following several sets

401
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,919
Speaker 1: behind them. They have a backup teams. They have teeth

402
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:03,480
Speaker 1: that are riding the bench waiting to be the base.

403
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:08,320
Speaker 3: Chaincase one tooth goes out tearing flesh, there's a backup

404
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 3: flesh tearing.

405
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,159
Speaker 1: I think they're eating these surfers because they're all in

406
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 1: black wetsuits and they think that they're seals, like a

407
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:15,640
Speaker 1: lot of as. I don't think they have it out

408
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 1: for us humans. That's why I don't know why they

409
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:24,200
Speaker 1: don't make like wildly colored striped wetsuits. I think they do, actually.

410
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 3: But I bet they started to.

411
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:29,920
Speaker 1: I feel so vulnerable in a shiny black body suit.

412
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 3: Right, we basically put on seal costumes. Yeah, yeah, that's true.

413
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,880
Speaker 3: They might not have it out for humans, but they

414
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,040
Speaker 3: certainly don't have it in for humans. That's all.

415
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 2: I feel like we humans, We are the serial part

416
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,199
Speaker 2: of the lucky charms for them, like they would rather not.

417
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:49,679
Speaker 1: Right, We've only heard that we don't taste good, Yeah,

418
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,440
Speaker 1: because of all the processed food and liquor we drink.

419
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, our livers actually do taste like toothpaste. And that's

420
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 3: a real bummer for them when they do eat us.

421
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 3: And I know what you mean, and I'm actually going

422
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:05,239
Speaker 3: to counterpoint myself by saying, you're right the danger that

423
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 3: we've put sharks in people killing sharks, assuming that that's

424
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 3: going to be almost like a preemptive Now everyone's safe.

425
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,199
Speaker 3: We're killing these sharks, and it's done real damage to

426
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 3: like shark populations, especially the ones that don't really attack

427
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 3: anybody at all, like say a nice lemon shark or

428
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 3: a nurse shark or something like that.

429
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 2: Exactly, Like most sharks are docile, and like even I

430
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 2: know the northern California they are bigger. But I have

431
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,720
Speaker 2: a lot of friends that surf too, And like when

432
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,119
Speaker 2: they you say they eat a surfer, don't you just

433
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 2: mean like nip?

434
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, they take off one foot, that's a nip, right.

435
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,160
Speaker 3: It's just nipping with seven rows of sharp keep.

436
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 1: Is it's just that, yeah, like asparagus and then I

437
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 1: swim off.

438
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

439
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 2: But again, I think it's because of that fucking movie,

440
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:58,200
Speaker 2: because it has a great.

441
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 3: Score and a great me of good and evil.

442
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 2: And it's so easy who's the good guy and who's

443
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 2: the bad guy, and it gives us a distorted view

444
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 2: of us it's the good guy, when in fact we

445
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:08,640
Speaker 2: are the bad guy.

446
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,399
Speaker 1: It taught us to hate mayors exactly.

447
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 3: It taught us to love Fourth of July exactly. Have

448
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 3: you guys heard about this story? And I covered it

449
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,919
Speaker 3: on My Favorite Murder because it's truly one of my

450
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 3: favorite things I ever. When I found out about it,

451
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 3: I was like, this can't be real. There's a story

452
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 3: of in the thirties or forties, a shark kind of

453
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,639
Speaker 3: got lost, went the wrong way and ended up going

454
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 3: up this very very small river and I believe it

455
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 3: was New Jersey or New York state, I can't remember.

456
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 3: And it was a sizeable shark and he ate two

457
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,879
Speaker 3: boys that were just playing in like they were like,

458
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 3: we're down at the creek, you know, like fishing and stuff,

459
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 3: and an old town drunk was standing on a bridge

460
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 3: and saw this huge shark swimming up this river or

461
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,440
Speaker 3: ran in to tell everybody, and everyone's like, oh, eddie

462
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 3: you and no one listened to him.

463
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 1: Yeah.

464
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 3: I think two, definitely two boys were killed by this shark.

465
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 3: There may have been more children or more people killed.

466
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 3: I can't remember. But it was this freak like thing

467
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,159
Speaker 3: that never happened. But then suddenly it was just like

468
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 3: it's like every horror movie where like it's not people

469
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 3: going out into the ocean and having a gigantic shark

470
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 3: eat them. It's like the shark came up a river

471
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 3: to find some people.

472
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 1: It's like when Jason came to Manhattan.

473
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 3: But flat laying down, flat.

474
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 1: More swimmy, but still just as dead eyed.

475
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 3: Just as scary and yeah, absolutely socopathic in the same way.

476
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,359
Speaker 2: Wow, And if only they had listened to the town drunk.

477
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,399
Speaker 2: That just goes to show. Listen to the town drunk.

478
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 3: Listen to drunks. They're smart. Say what you will about drunks.

479
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:04,160
Speaker 3: They tell the truth, that's right, they yell the truth. Usually.

480
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,640
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm again talking about myself.

481
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:11,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, that is true. I tell the truth

482
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 1: whenever I'm drunk. It's when the it's the last few

483
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 1: weeks of sobriety that I've been lying to myself and others.

484
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 3: M Chris, what do you think is the what kind

485
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 3: of do you do? You have any examples of clarity

486
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 3: that you want to share with Tessa and I with

487
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 3: your one month right free of alcohol?

488
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 1: It is, yeah, just a month and a week. And

489
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,880
Speaker 1: I don't mean to be preachy about this. I may

490
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 1: fall off the wagon tomorrow. I haven't even established there

491
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 1: is a wagon, and I can't remember if if messing

492
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 1: up is falling on or off.

493
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:48,160
Speaker 2: The point is I always get that confused as well? Yeah, yeah,

494
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,639
Speaker 2: because what's the wagon? It's confusing matter wagon is.

495
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 1: Being on the wagon is sobriety, sobriety falling off is

496
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 1: a delicious beverage.

497
00:25:58,160 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 3: If you want to drink on the wagon, right, Okay,

498
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 3: go ahead, right.

499
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 1: I honestly my brain the two things I've noticed, and

500
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:09,000
Speaker 1: maybe it could have been the sugar and things like that,

501
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 1: but I think we all know it's the booze. I

502
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 1: have been not suddenly feeling depressed at night when unexplained,

503
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 1: you know, there isn't a depressant coursing through me. I

504
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 1: didn't expect that I've been generally happier, and then, yeah,

505
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:29,400
Speaker 1: my memory is better. I'm not better at talking, as

506
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: we've displayed during this there's been a void that might

507
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 1: as well be tequila during this episode. But I when

508
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:40,679
Speaker 1: doing stand up, I felt like I remembered all my jokes.

509
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:45,640
Speaker 1: I normally make a cheat sheet and I wasn't consulting

510
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 1: it for entire shows. And that's a new thing for me.

511
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's great when you were because I yeah, I

512
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 2: realized a few years ago that like it's way better

513
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 2: to do to end up completely sober, which is so shitty. Yeah,

514
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 2: because like, and I will volunt when I do stand

515
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,160
Speaker 2: up with Babs and Brandy all offer to go first

516
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 2: so that I can start drinking after my set.

517
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 3: Right, You're like, I'm not waiting. I'm not waiting for

518
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 3: your shit.

519
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 2: But yeah, it does make and I find too with

520
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 2: the timing. I think even one drink can sort of

521
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 2: throw off I think my connection with the audience and

522
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 2: the timing because you have to be like it's almost

523
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 2: more like like how you have to be when you're

524
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 2: doing something athletic, right, where you kind of have to

525
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 2: be like all the weight dial or it's better when

526
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,119
Speaker 2: you're all the way dialed in, Yes, for sure.

527
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 3: Well, and it's the kind of thing I think, Uh,

528
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 3: you know, people who are funny take it for granted

529
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,439
Speaker 3: of the what it takes to be funny, right, you

530
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 3: guys have probably been funny your whole lives. It's part

531
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 3: of who you are. So that's like you're not worried

532
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,439
Speaker 3: about that part. But then there's this other part of it,

533
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,399
Speaker 3: and then it's like, yeah, I can mess around with

534
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 3: this a little bit and either get a little buzzed

535
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 3: or a little whatever, because ultimately I'm still funny and

536
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 3: it's gonna be fine. But then there are those people

537
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 3: who have like never been drinkers or never that's never

538
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 3: been like a part of them, and so them being like, oh, yeah,

539
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 3: you could be great and then get even better and

540
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:21,440
Speaker 3: better after that, and it's like I my whole life,

541
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,400
Speaker 3: but the whole thing is like no, you come in okay,

542
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 3: and then see what you can do if you fuck

543
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,679
Speaker 3: yourself up, Like yeah, that was part of the game.

544
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 3: Is like I can still do a twenty minute set

545
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 3: five beers under this is crazy, or think of things

546
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 3: on stage or whatever, and it's like it's all an

547
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 3: internal measurement when actually it's an external performance, so you

548
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 3: should really be much more concerned about how other people

549
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 3: are perceiving you as opposed to yourself.

550
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you're gonna have a great time regardless if

551
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 2: you have like your first it's not going to impact

552
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 2: your enjoyability and may increase it, right, Yeah, exactly.

553
00:28:58,960 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 3: And it is.

554
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 2: I think it's also can be a little bit of

555
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 2: a gifted kid thing too, of like I'm gonna get

556
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 2: it might be an a but I can do this

557
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 2: yeahah in my locker, you know, during recess and not

558
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 2: actually do my real homework and still pass this class

559
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 2: kind of vibe too completely.

560
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's also trying to shake the initial realization that

561
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 1: when you're young, like I was pretty shy and if

562
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: I said, ain'tthing funny, it was under my breath or

563
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: to the person next to me. Come senior year, I

564
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: finally started going to these parties that I never went to,

565
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: and I all of a sudden had this courage to

566
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 1: be funny to groups of people and it was working.

567
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: And then I thought, so then I've sat in my

568
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 1: brain like, oh that makes me funnier. Something I thought

569
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 1: I taught myself when I was seventeen and I'm still

570
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 1: telling myself.

571
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 3: That, but m hmm, yeah, because it works because it's

572
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 3: the truth. I mean, that was my You know, I

573
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 3: really loved drinking from the day I started, when I

574
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 3: was like fourteen years old or whatever, nightmarishly young age.

575
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 3: I started because I did have this ongoing, like onslaught

576
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 3: of internal dialogue that was like, don't do that. He

577
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 3: looked terrible, constant and drinking two beers and suddenly being

578
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 3: like that's gone, and now what else is going on?

579
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 3: And like, oh this must be what like yeah, regular

580
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 3: people or even like hot people feel like it's like, oh,

581
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 3: you just think you have the run of the room.

582
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,880
Speaker 3: This is great, Like of course I should be talking.

583
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 3: Of course you should be paying attention to me.

584
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 1: Like that feeling was run and do a front flip

585
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: over bonfire?

586
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 3: Yes, all of a sudden, I should.

587
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 1: I wait till the senior year of high school to

588
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 1: be the coolest student in town. Do you hear about

589
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 1: Fency front flipped over the bonfire, broke his nose on

590
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: Ben Johnson's shoulder, legendary?

591
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, yeah.

592
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have gotten that with my previous years as

593
00:30:58,520 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 1: skim milk.

594
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 3: Those are the only two choices in life liquor or

595
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 3: skim milk.

596
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, and make your choice or together in a white

597
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 2: Russian what's your what is your favorite?

598
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 3: Like if you had a tough day and you were

599
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 3: to show when you just finished, what's your dream cocktail?

600
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 3: Somebody would hand you when you walk off.

601
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 2: Stage, like a paloma or something with tequila.

602
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 3: Here, what's a paloma?

603
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 2: It is tequila, grapefruit juice, grapefruit soda and then on

604
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 2: the rim tajein and salt. Yeah, what's if you know

605
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 2: that like it's on you know when you get like

606
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 2: the street fruit that has like the mango and that

607
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 2: like red spice, it's like that.

608
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, oh nice. Yeah, Chrissy, you said, yes, have

609
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 3: you had palomas?

610
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm at tequila boy, it's index sugar that

611
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 1: it processes down to. A doctor told me to drink tequila.

612
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 1: So no more brown liquors from you, some eighty year

613
00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 1: old hip doctor.

614
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

615
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:01,880
Speaker 1: I was prescribed tequila.

616
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 2: Aaron Lampard told me like six years ago that tequila

617
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 2: was good for you, and I've been writing that high

618
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 2: ever since.

619
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 3: Aaron works at that Barini. That place is the best.

620
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, great wine bar and she's got impeccable taste

621
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 2: in wine. That is one of that's if I'm going

622
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 2: to choose, I love to go to Lampy's wine bar

623
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 2: with a book, be like, Lampy, pour me something weird. Yeah,

624
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 2: and just I like a weird wine some olives.

625
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 1: See, that's what I can see myself doing after I

626
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: spend a little more time doing Let's go back and

627
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 1: have like a classy glass of orange wine, which is

628
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 1: a new that's it's one of my favorites, somewhere between

629
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 1: red and white. I'm assuming we can all assume that.

630
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, what is that a some sort of a rose?

631
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 3: It's an off rose.

632
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like in the rose family. Yeah, it's basically rose,

633
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 2: but it's orange, which is like just so fun.

634
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 1: And I don't have to say I'll have a rose please.

635
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 1: I can't because of the Rose all Day sign in

636
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 1: my kitchen. It's an embarrassed that it's even hanging there.

637
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 3: Teacher, It's is private sign. Please don't read it Rose

638
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 3: all Day. There is a lot of at home goods.

639
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 3: There's a lot of rose merch that you can get

640
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 3: down there, or wind declaratives if you need, you know,

641
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:33,040
Speaker 3: a sign.

642
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 5: Or a.

643
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, no care. What are you a home good are

644
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 2: you in? What's going on with the food at home goods?

645
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 2: I guess is my question?

646
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 3: Oh thank you for asking. I have now organized it

647
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 3: in a way. I Here's the thing. The food isle

648
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 3: at home goods I find is almost always too crowded

649
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 3: to go into because once you start looking at stuff,

650
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, pasta made of corn, Who's I understand

651
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 3: why this is here? No one wants that or whatever.

652
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,959
Speaker 3: You start looking, but then you're like, wait a second,

653
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 3: aren't chocolate covered gummy bears a good idea? This is

654
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 3: what I do every time. And then I'm like and

655
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 3: I put it in my thing. And then I'm like, no,

656
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 3: that's a terrible You don't want to combine those two things,

657
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 3: and I put it back. And then there's something else.

658
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 3: There's like, you know, white chocolate pastials where I'm like,

659
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 3: I've never liked white chocolate, but still I'm getting this anyway.

660
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 3: Like that aisle is pure chaos. It's almost like trying

661
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 3: to tap into your emotions where it's like, but you

662
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 3: like caramel corn, you like it, don't you? Well, what

663
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,399
Speaker 3: if you liked it with prunes in it? Like there's

664
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 3: always that kind of like how far are you willing

665
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 3: to go in the Home Goods food aisle?

666
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 2: Yes, And then like there will also be like novelty

667
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 2: aspects to it, like sometimes Hello Kitty will be on

668
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,919
Speaker 2: Apasta for some reason and I'm often I guess really

669
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 2: high there. I must be high because I'm like, hello

670
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,320
Speaker 2: Kitty pasta Like it's like it knows I'm high.

671
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, It's like it's made by and four stoners

672
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 3: where it's just like come down here and just see

673
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 3: how far you'll go with a snack.

674
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 2: But it's like stoner ladies who also have a membership

675
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 2: at the Huntington Gardens, Like that's.

676
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:18,279
Speaker 3: Me, you found me. I belong here. But the last

677
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,319
Speaker 3: time I went to Home Goods all that's happening in

678
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 3: the food aisle I could not find a spatula. Or

679
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:25,280
Speaker 3: it's just like isn't this what you guys are supposed

680
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,399
Speaker 3: to be doing? And like they don't. That's the funniest thing.

681
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 3: And the thing I love about that place is it's

682
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 3: it is perfect for like if you want a stone

683
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 3: shop or you just want to like kill forty five minutes.

684
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 3: If you're like, oh, I have to go here, but

685
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,840
Speaker 3: I'm going to go here first type of thing to

686
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 3: find stuff, because you hunt around and find weird things,

687
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 3: like I have all kinds of Christmas plates, serving bowls,

688
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,720
Speaker 3: things like that for like a Christmas party or whatever,

689
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,240
Speaker 3: but you can't find just like a Standard's batchela or anything.

690
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 3: You know, you can't get basics there, and you shouldn't

691
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:02,839
Speaker 3: try to. But you can like rock your next Saint

692
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:06,280
Speaker 3: Patrick's Day party, like in a way that you wouldn't believe,

693
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 3: but I feel like it would.

694
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 2: It would magically, know, if you weren't looking for a spatula,

695
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:15,879
Speaker 2: there would be like a purple spatula there that day,

696
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 2: Like you could only find it if you didn't need it.

697
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 3: Yes, you're like a spatula from the TV show Friends.

698
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 3: That's weird, Okay, I don't. I have three spatulas. I

699
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 3: don't need it. But if you were really just trying

700
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 3: to outfit your house, you know that's not That's not

701
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,840
Speaker 3: the place to go. Although I bet right now for

702
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 3: Easter they have a bunch of great shit down there.

703
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 3: Just a bunch of baskets, yeah, baskets, but all giant eggs.

704
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 3: I bet you like eggs that go in the middle

705
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 3: of the table that if you break them open, there's

706
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 3: like a small diorama inside.

707
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 2: Mm maybe and like eggs with like a map of

708
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 2: the world, like a globe, but it's an egg.

709
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, and a lot of cats. I assume they're a

710
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:57,760
Speaker 1: Catholic company.

711
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 3: I'm just guessing, probably because they go pretty hard on Christmas.

712
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 3: Although I did get a ray done mug there that's

713
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 3: the lady that just draws in that very thin font

714
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 3: it all caps and will say like, I have a

715
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 3: mug that says mommy on it, but it looks like

716
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 3: it looks like someone's screaming it because the way the

717
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 3: font is like they made it to seem nice, but

718
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 3: it doesn't seem nice. You have to see it. And

719
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 3: then I found one that says Shaloam, where I'm like, well,

720
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 3: I'm absolutely gonna buy a Shaloam mug. When's the next

721
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 3: time to find that? Yeah?

722
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:35,960
Speaker 1: Wait, that font is someone's art. I've seen that font.

723
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 3: Yes, it's the is this woman who she did it

724
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 3: first and she now has this. You know, it's a

725
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 3: huge company, like very successful, and it's basically all those

726
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,840
Speaker 3: things that are made uneven pottery. And then like a

727
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 3: word on the front that says like candies or whatever.

728
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's funny or whatever, but yeah, she's gigantic, and

729
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,359
Speaker 3: there's people that are obsessed with those with her, with

730
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 3: her products.

731
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 2: I'd like, that's the type of thing that's impossible to

732
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 2: reverse engineer. But I hear that, and I'm like, why

733
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 2: am I not focusing all of my energy on lopsided pottery?

734
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 2: You know?

735
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 3: Yeah?

736
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 1: Or it's yeah, something very easy and specific that seems

737
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:19,720
Speaker 1: to be the recipe for success. Now I'm gonna spread

738
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: myself thin on a bunch of complicated things that I

739
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:23,760
Speaker 1: will follow through with.

740
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 3: That I know have no real like lucrative ending.

741
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me hunt over for hours doing detailed drawings,

742
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:35,879
Speaker 1: when really I should do some thin calligraphy. God damn it.

743
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 3: You should do like the just the word cookies and

744
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,800
Speaker 3: all caps with like a smiley face, and a million

745
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 3: people will buy your.

746
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 1: Jar, yeah or whatever. I think the best idea I

747
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:49,840
Speaker 1: had was sharks and pizza. That's the name of the website.

748
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 1: Everything on there has sharks and pizza. It's somehow mingling,

749
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 1: and that's that's all I do. You're the sharks and pizza.

750
00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 3: Guy combined, like a shark eating a pe pizza or

751
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:04,840
Speaker 3: a shark with pizza teeth. Great pitches right.

752
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:11,280
Speaker 1: There, Yes, shark shape pizza slices, a pizza pizza wearing sunglasses,

753
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 1: surfing on a wave made of sharks.

754
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 3: It's endless and orca eating a shark eating a.

755
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: Pizza squeezing out pizza from the shark like toothpaste. Oh,

756
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:23,800
Speaker 1: this is gidding.

757
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 3: This is good.

758
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 1: Oh god, I gotta write that down.

759
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 3: This is and it's also destined for home goods. That's

760
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 3: a you're describing the perfect home goods item.

761
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, a shark pizza Christmas ornament, reeks of home.

762
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 3: Goods, pizza cutter with shark shaped teeth on the circle

763
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:43,319
Speaker 3: cutting part.

764
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 1: I like a shark with little pizza slices for teeth.

765
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 1: It's just smiling and it's I mean, it's a perfect shape.

766
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:54,320
Speaker 1: This is the kind of brainstorming session I needed.

767
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is what you need it. And also the

768
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 3: shark maybe the cartoon that you could do is like

769
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:03,280
Speaker 3: the shark biting and I'm like, ah, you know, biting

770
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 3: is like bottom lip and being like whoops, I did

771
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 3: it again. Oh that's cute.

772
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be I'm gonna be like Lisa Frank this

773
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 1: is gonna be this.

774
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:15,799
Speaker 3: Is I at your first At Christmas time, I was

775
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:17,800
Speaker 3: trying to get a bunch of last minute stuff before

776
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 3: I went up to up to Pedaloma, and one of

777
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 3: the things I found was a mermaid tail that you

778
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 3: could pull up like you could pull on and up

779
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 3: to your waist, and then it was like having a blanket,

780
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:32,799
Speaker 3: like a lap blanket, so it was like a thing

781
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 3: to be cozy and as you watch TV and I

782
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 3: pull I was gonna get my niece one and my

783
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 3: other two older nieces and I was carrying them around

784
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,880
Speaker 3: as I shopped through home goods, and finally I was like,

785
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,239
Speaker 3: I'm gonna double check is this is. I'm buying a

786
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 3: lot of these and I think I'm off base. And

787
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 3: I sent my sister a picture. I was like, do

788
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,440
Speaker 3: you think Nora would like this? And she's like, Noura's

789
00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 3: not eight years old. She's like, I'm really sorry to

790
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 3: tell you. She's fifteen and she wouldn't fit into that,

791
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 3: She wouldn't probably wouldn't be interested. And I was like,

792
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:08,320
Speaker 3: oh shit, I'm like still shopping for my little girl

793
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 3: niece and yet she's eighteen. Who although later on I

794
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 3: showed her a picture of it, and she's like, I

795
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 3: think I would have liked that, And she's like, but

796
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 3: I think I would have only been able to fit

797
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 3: one leg into it. Yeah.

798
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 1: Right, The size might be an issue, But I have

799
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:26,400
Speaker 1: a pretty good track record with buying my niece's childlike

800
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 1: things that I know they'll like that I know they're

801
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 1: too old for. But I'm reminded of the time I

802
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:36,920
Speaker 1: felt like I discovered a onesie pajama with like little

803
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 1: skateboarders on it, and as an adult, I got so

804
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 1: excited because I never had it as a kid. And

805
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 1: they make adult onesie pajamas. Yes, they do zipper up front,

806
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 1: and nothing will make you happier. I encourage everyone to

807
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:53,320
Speaker 1: buy some for their dad. Everyone wants to be eleven

808
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,320
Speaker 1: or twelve again, Yeah, that's.

809
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's only like five years where you don't want

810
00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 2: to be eleven, right, I think that's it. It's just

811
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:01,800
Speaker 2: I guess from thirteen to eighteen.

812
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, But then like college kids like to act like babies.

813
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,919
Speaker 2: I think, can I remember being in college only taking

814
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 2: a blanket with me to class?

815
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:10,840
Speaker 3: I think I wore a onesee in college.

816
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:11,879
Speaker 1: Yeah.

817
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 2: I was also doing a lot of Molly, so I

818
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 2: had a lot of pacifiers.

819
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 1: Man, they had back when you were in college.

820
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 3: That's oh, oh my god.

821
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 1: I think it was college when I realized I need

822
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:27,320
Speaker 1: to start wearing pajamas because in the dorms, the bathroom

823
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,840
Speaker 1: was in the hallway, and my whole life I've just

824
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 1: slept in my underwear. So the first few weeks I

825
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 1: was just making sure no one was in the hallway

826
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 1: and just running out there in my boxers. And then

827
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 1: you know, there was like girlfriends visiting, you know, I

828
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 1: think it was a co wreck dormitory, and I was

829
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 1: walking around in my underwear just because I didn't grow

830
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: up in a pajama household. And I quickly had to realize, like,

831
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 1: I have to wear a little suit with a pocket

832
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 1: when I go to bed, because I can't be wandering

833
00:42:58,120 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 1: the hallways.

834
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 3: Straight from skivies to a little onesie.

835
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:07,400
Speaker 1: Uh no, I yeah, No. I went classic shorts with shirt,

836
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 1: you know, classic pajamas with some piping and a nice

837
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,399
Speaker 1: pocket in case you want to bring a mouse to.

838
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:16,400
Speaker 3: Bed like a dad in a Disney movie.

839
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:20,680
Speaker 1: Yes, I get Disney Dad. I finally got pajamas. I

840
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:25,279
Speaker 1: remember vividly, like, hey, I think I need pajamas. You

841
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:28,879
Speaker 1: can get me that for Christmas, because I mean there

842
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:31,479
Speaker 1: was a couple episodes I think once the flap was open.

843
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to get graphic, but I was exposing

844
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,840
Speaker 1: myself to other students and I'm glad that that I

845
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 1: finally discovered pajamas at age eighteen.

846
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 2: I feel like my college dorm, like you would like,

847
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 2: it was just everybody. There were so many naked people

848
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 2: always like, what college did you go to?

849
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 3: And we're say, Santa Barbara, Oh.

850
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I went to U see Santa Barbara honor rarely

851
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 2: because I grew up in came Rio. So like when

852
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,399
Speaker 2: I was a teenager, I would party at.

853
00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 3: UCSB, oh gotcha, which was great.

854
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:02,880
Speaker 2: But I went to the dorms at Emerson Yeah, and

855
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,799
Speaker 2: it was like what I mean, Yeah, the doors were

856
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 2: always open everywhere. There were always people like having sex

857
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:11,359
Speaker 2: in the elevators or like passed out in the stairwells

858
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:14,680
Speaker 2: or like I mean, it was, yeah, there was That's

859
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 2: something when I was in college. I don't know if

860
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 2: this was like an Evergreen college thing or just like

861
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,400
Speaker 2: an OTS thing, but called do you guys know what

862
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 2: a flipping fuck is?

863
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 3: What is it? Like a wedge pillow kind of.

864
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like a foldable one person futon, So it

865
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 2: kind of folds up into like a video game chair

866
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 2: and then you flip it open and it turns into

867
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,320
Speaker 2: like a little twin sized mattress.

868
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:41,919
Speaker 3: Oh yes, I've seen those.

869
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:44,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that I guess that's what I got for

870
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:48,439
Speaker 1: my dad's next note. He's gonna lay on this leather

871
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 1: flipping fuck.

872
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 3: I don't think i'll call it that when I would not,

873
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 3: Please don't.

874
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:53,759
Speaker 1: It's one.

875
00:44:55,400 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, he throw yourself down on that, flip the buck

876
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 4: and I'll see in the morning. Yeah, that's really funny

877
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 4: because I you know, I did flunk out of college,

878
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 4: but in the one year that I was in the

879
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:15,919
Speaker 4: dorms at Sacramento State, it was just so not like that.

880
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 3: And I think because it's kind of a commuter school

881
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 3: and it wasn't really you know, I think Emerson's very

882
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 3: like artsy. That's where all like the sketch people go

883
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 3: and all the comedy people go. There's a real artsy

884
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 3: feel to it. I think there's a lot of like

885
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 3: accounting majors in the dorm that I went to, so

886
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,239
Speaker 3: it was a lot of like you know, it was

887
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:38,719
Speaker 3: the year that that Guns N' Roses album came out,

888
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 3: and that was just being blasted constantly, and there was

889
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 3: just like a lot of beer bongs. I think I

890
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,359
Speaker 3: told you this story, Chris, but one time we were

891
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 3: at a party and it was in a dorm room.

892
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 3: So there was like thirty people smashed into this dorm

893
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 3: room and they were doing beer bongs and they were

894
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 3: like here and you have to do it. And I

895
00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 3: was like, uh oh, this is like this is no

896
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:03,920
Speaker 3: one should do this and this is insane. But I

897
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 3: was like, okay, whatever, and so I do it. And

898
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,480
Speaker 3: I remember it was like I watched other people do it.

899
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 3: I'm like, how are they doing this? Like why isn't

900
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 3: anyone spitting this back or like resist there's resisting this

901
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 3: in any way. Yeah, and then I just remember being

902
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:21,759
Speaker 3: like because I was already drunk, and then I was

903
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 3: just like just don't you can't resist this, and you

904
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 3: have to just swallow this into like open your gullet

905
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:33,279
Speaker 3: essentially like a fucking turkey and swallow this. And I

906
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,480
Speaker 3: did it because I was like it'll be so humiliating

907
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 3: if you like a throw up or b like it

908
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,360
Speaker 3: all just comes spilling out of your mouth, it'll be

909
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:44,359
Speaker 3: so humiliating. And so I did it and they all

910
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,640
Speaker 3: went fucking crazy, and it was that kind of thing

911
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,960
Speaker 3: where I was like, Okay, that didn't feel like the

912
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 3: victory that it is, because that was it's like you

913
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:59,960
Speaker 3: basically make your like pure pressuring people into doing this horror,

914
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 3: gross thing, and then like like what would I What

915
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 3: would have happened if I had just been like, I'm

916
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:11,120
Speaker 3: like throwing up you know, yes, people do that too.

917
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I've done that.

918
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 2: I did that once off a party party boat in Portugal,

919
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 2: just threw up a beer boll well that I was

920
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 2: in Europe with my met my brother in Europe and

921
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 2: my brother came up to me. I can handle a

922
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,800
Speaker 2: beer bong, but my brother came up to me without

923
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 2: warning and shoved it in my mouth, not even like

924
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:35,239
Speaker 2: a head's up, and so I sewed it everywhere and

925
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:37,880
Speaker 2: everyone thought I chunked because I couldn't handle it, and

926
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,560
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I was just attacked.

927
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, you had to take a breath. That's like dunking

928
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:46,600
Speaker 1: your sister underwater when she's not ready exactly exactly.

929
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:47,879
Speaker 3: So he had a laugh.

930
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 2: But beer bombs and drinking games they've always liked me,

931
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 2: like to meet that concept is like they're so unnecessary,

932
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 2: Like we were going to drink anyway.

933
00:47:56,640 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, and now that we're being competitive about it,

934
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have a terrible night because I want to win.

935
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,560
Speaker 3: Yes, well, and I or I just don't want to

936
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:11,279
Speaker 3: publicly lose. That's the that seemed to me to be

937
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 3: the pressure where it was somehow I was being called

938
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:17,160
Speaker 3: to the mat as a person of just like come on,

939
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:19,359
Speaker 3: you gotta do it, and it's like right, and then

940
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,280
Speaker 3: if I do this wrong, that's I'm just that girl.

941
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 3: I refuse, yeah, to be that girl. Yeah. Well, and

942
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 3: it feels like as a woman, the pressure is even

943
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 3: more yeah, because once again I'm not getting paid the

944
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 3: rest of the same as those dudes are getting paid

945
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:35,200
Speaker 3: the beer bomb.

946
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 2: We open our bullets twice as wide and we get

947
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 2: half the bud light and.

948
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 3: It is fucking bullshit. I cannot believe how fast this

949
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,400
Speaker 3: podcast has gone by. I know, it was literally like

950
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,840
Speaker 3: I feel like we've said four things and I just

951
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 3: looked down and was like, what is this crazes? Have

952
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:04,680
Speaker 3: you been writing about anything lately or doing any journalisming

953
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 3: that you're especially excited about.

954
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:08,760
Speaker 2: I have been writing stuff that's sort of like longer

955
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 2: form stuff that I'm kind of in the trenches on

956
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:15,360
Speaker 2: right now. But yeah, I'm kind of I'm working on

957
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 2: some kind of bigger pieces that I'm getting my fingers

958
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 2: dirty with, kind of follow up to the reporting I

959
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 2: did around the Britney Spears story, which kept me busy,

960
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 2: Yeah for a couple of years.

961
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was an unexpected busyness.

962
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 2: Huh oh yeah, it completely sideswiped ups. It was like

963
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:36,319
Speaker 2: one day I was just having a Tuesday, and the

964
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,759
Speaker 2: next day it was like, oh my whole world's going

965
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 2: to change.

966
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. You see, handedly made me pay attention to and

967
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:46,720
Speaker 1: appreciate Britney Spears. I didn't think about her much because

968
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 1: I just didn't. I think it's my age. It was

969
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:52,880
Speaker 1: happening after I was already doing these beer bongs.

970
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:53,520
Speaker 4: Yeah.

971
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 2: Yeah.

972
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 1: What I didn't know about you is that you've written

973
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 1: musicals and lyrics. Yeah, Like, I never knew that about

974
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:08,239
Speaker 1: you know, I just talk about myself whenever I see Yeah.

975
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 2: No, I was so excited to do this podcast because

976
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 2: both of you are people that when I see you

977
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:13,919
Speaker 2: at a party, I'm like, oh cool, there's someone cool

978
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:14,680
Speaker 2: here that I can talk to.

979
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: I felt that, Yeah, But yeah, my musical I mean,

980
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 1: I like musicals are just so my love.

981
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:25,879
Speaker 2: Like I don't have a good voice really, so I've

982
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:29,440
Speaker 2: never been like a performer good enough to do it professionally,

983
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 2: but having musical ear, like I can hear when someone's

984
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 2: flat and I have a musical ear sort of in

985
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 2: that sense. And yeah, my musical. Uh, that was kind

986
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,319
Speaker 2: of a crazy story how I wrote that. I had

987
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 2: this friend from college who he went on he became

988
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 2: a musical composer and like conduct stuff on Broadway and

989
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 2: is like the super gifted musical composer. And he was

990
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:54,840
Speaker 2: in La for a friend's wedding and drunk at our

991
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:57,360
Speaker 2: friend's wedding, we came up with an idea for a musical.

992
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, and the.

993
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 2: Next day, like hungover, he was like, I'm serious, let's

994
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 2: talk about the show.

995
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, let's do it.

996
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:09,160
Speaker 2: So we hiked Runyon and we started talking about this

997
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:11,800
Speaker 2: show and we got so like consumed with the idea

998
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:13,319
Speaker 2: that I was like, he was like, do you have

999
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:15,120
Speaker 2: a keyboard? We need to buy a keyboard, And I

1000
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 2: was like, I my boyfriend at the time had just

1001
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:19,359
Speaker 2: gotten a keyboard and I was like, hey, do let's

1002
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 2: go to my house. So we start writing our first song.

1003
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 2: We got like so consumed by the process that he

1004
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 2: like canceled his flight home. Was like I have to

1005
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 2: stay here and finish this song with you. Like we

1006
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 2: had this like crazy moment. And from there he happened

1007
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 2: to be going to Hawaii to meet with an investor

1008
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 2: for a show that he had been working on previously,

1009
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 2: and he was like, I have to play this song

1010
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 2: for you. I just wrote with my friend, like we're

1011
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 2: really excited about the show. He played that song for

1012
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,240
Speaker 2: that investor and that investor was like moved to tears.

1013
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:48,799
Speaker 3: Oh.

1014
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:52,279
Speaker 2: He was like, I have a mansion in South Carolina

1015
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:54,799
Speaker 2: that has a sin Away piano music room in it,

1016
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:56,759
Speaker 2: and I want you guys to go, like go on

1017
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:58,920
Speaker 2: retreat and write this musical in that mansion.

1018
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:00,799
Speaker 3: And so we did.

1019
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:01,799
Speaker 1: That's where you did it.

1020
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we like exile on Main streeted it and like, see.

1021
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 1: If you weren't drinking at that wedding, I'm starting to

1022
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 1: think about it, you wouldn't.

1023
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:16,960
Speaker 3: You have to wait. You have to wait for the moment,

1024
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 3: You have to wait for the the opening sign exactly exactly.

1025
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:23,240
Speaker 1: That is so cool.

1026
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, So yeah, it was a really crazy experience and

1027
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:28,320
Speaker 2: it was like off Broadway, and I mean, yeah, it

1028
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:28,919
Speaker 2: was really cool.

1029
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:29,839
Speaker 3: I mean yeah, it was.

1030
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 2: One of the It kind of like changed how I write,

1031
00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 2: because like I realized that I really like writing on isolation.

1032
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:38,440
Speaker 2: I mean, we wrote an entire show, but like we

1033
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:43,319
Speaker 2: had no internet, we didn't use our phones. We were

1034
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 2: in this like tiny town in South Carolina, in this

1035
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 2: gorgeous mansion, and like we wrote the whole show in

1036
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,920
Speaker 2: this beautiful room with like beautiful art everywhere, and the

1037
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,399
Speaker 2: house came with these robes, and so we just lived

1038
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 2: in these robes for like and we we would write

1039
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 2: for like eighteen hours and then stop working at like

1040
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:02,399
Speaker 2: eleven o'clock in the morning and drink chardeney and smoke

1041
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 2: cigarettes until two pm, sleep for six hours, wake up,

1042
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:05,920
Speaker 2: keep working.

1043
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 3: Like it was like a really crazy Were.

1044
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,719
Speaker 1: You like singing what rhymes with this? Were you like

1045
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 1: singing versus to each other? Like an ishtar the good

1046
00:53:14,719 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 1: part of ishtar? The ft?

1047
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean.

1048
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:22,280
Speaker 2: He wrote ahead of me like he would I wrote,

1049
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 2: like he wrote like like a few bars ahead of

1050
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:25,319
Speaker 2: me the entire time.

1051
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 3: So he would tell me like, I need to up

1052
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 3: a but and then I would work.

1053
00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:29,840
Speaker 1: On that and you were adding jokes.

1054
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:32,840
Speaker 2: I would guess, yeah, yeah, it was me adding like

1055
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:37,279
Speaker 2: blow job jokes, and uh, yeah, that's great.

1056
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 3: Can you tell us what the musical was called.

1057
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's called Time between Us, and it's a two

1058
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 2: person show and it's sort of like the Last five

1059
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:49,239
Speaker 2: Years meets Will and Grace. So it follows these two

1060
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 2: best friends sort of over twenty five years of their life.

1061
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:55,800
Speaker 3: And that's all piano cello. The whole score is piano cello.

1062
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:59,800
Speaker 1: I did not know that you had written musicals.

1063
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,520
Speaker 3: Incredible, Thank you. I mean, that's what I like about

1064
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 3: your test is you really? Uh? When I first met you,

1065
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,759
Speaker 3: the very very first time was a meeting you on

1066
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:12,200
Speaker 3: stage at the Live Lady to Lady that that basically

1067
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:14,759
Speaker 3: brand I knew Brandy and she asked me to do it,

1068
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 3: and that's how I met you, guys, And it was

1069
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:19,080
Speaker 3: I just first started doing stand up again, So it

1070
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,960
Speaker 3: was like probably two thousand and nine or something or

1071
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:25,959
Speaker 3: like a long time ago, and I could not tell

1072
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,759
Speaker 3: if you were doing a character or if you were

1073
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:31,360
Speaker 3: if that was your cause, like your laugh and everything

1074
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 3: but you're so funny. But I was like, this girl

1075
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 3: must have written this down beforehand because you were being

1076
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 3: conversationally funny. But then you but like, you're just such

1077
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:46,160
Speaker 3: a fascinating individual and you are so fucking talented. Like

1078
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 3: the first time I read one of your articles, the

1079
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:52,760
Speaker 3: one you did about the auditions for being a Laker Girl,

1080
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:55,720
Speaker 3: this is one of the most mind blowing like pieces

1081
00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 3: of journalism I've ever read, and I was like, this

1082
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 3: fucking girl can do it all. Like it's just I

1083
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:03,880
Speaker 3: just love how you were really a You're just a

1084
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:08,359
Speaker 3: very genuine You're yourself entirely and you don't really put

1085
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 3: on errors and you absolutely could, like you could be

1086
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 3: an Emiston asshole if you wanted to, Like you could

1087
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:18,800
Speaker 3: be like a fucking you. You can be a very

1088
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 3: high level asshole if you wanted to. And you just

1089
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:27,960
Speaker 3: are just like you are a smiley, fun, happy, hilarious person.

1090
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:30,880
Speaker 1: I don't know that I've ever seen you in a

1091
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:34,360
Speaker 1: bad mood, and that's something that you make an effort

1092
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:38,160
Speaker 1: to do. And that's why at a party, I'm like, oh,

1093
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:41,040
Speaker 1: I've been feeling down, maybe I'll talk to tests And Yep,

1094
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:45,080
Speaker 1: it worked again. Why not be happy all the time.

1095
00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:47,399
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm definitely not happy all the time.

1096
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:52,160
Speaker 1: I will say, no, it is you make an effort

1097
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 1: to present yourself that way, and I realize I don't

1098
00:55:56,160 --> 00:56:00,760
Speaker 1: if I'm not feeling great, I kind of let everyone

1099
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 1: know it. And I'm trying to watch that. And I

1100
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:05,360
Speaker 1: learned it from you specifically.

1101
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:06,640
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

1102
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 2: But I think you're like pretty fun to be around

1103
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:12,279
Speaker 2: to though. I mean, you're a good conversationalist too, and

1104
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,359
Speaker 2: you're someone who does engage with the people that you're

1105
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:16,759
Speaker 2: talking to. Like there are so many people in LA

1106
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:19,440
Speaker 2: that the whole time you're talking to them, they have

1107
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 2: one lazy eye that's just looking for someone else that

1108
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:22,840
Speaker 2: they may potentially want to.

1109
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 3: Oh god, I can't stay.

1110
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:26,840
Speaker 1: We're done recording. I'll give you the names of the

1111
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:30,799
Speaker 1: people they do that the most. Say it as I'm

1112
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:32,480
Speaker 1: saying the name, and it will come out of the

1113
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:35,360
Speaker 1: mountain as if we're twins.

1114
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:39,239
Speaker 3: I mean, I think that is the challenge, though, you know,

1115
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:44,640
Speaker 3: there's it's like people who have a gift, like an

1116
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:50,000
Speaker 3: artistic kind of expression gift, it's easy to get bad

1117
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 3: habits of Like here's how I need to I need

1118
00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:55,520
Speaker 3: to do this to get this or I need to.

1119
00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:58,520
Speaker 3: You know, those people, like the people who look for

1120
00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:00,839
Speaker 3: other people while they're talking to the person in front

1121
00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:04,359
Speaker 3: of them. Those people never find the person they're looking for.

1122
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:07,279
Speaker 3: That's the sad part, is like, and that is a

1123
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 3: I think everyone's done it. I don't think it's you know,

1124
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:12,799
Speaker 3: I think some people just can't ever let go of

1125
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:15,279
Speaker 3: that idea. I remember there was a comic once who

1126
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 3: was from San Francisco and did very well in San Francisco.

1127
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:21,440
Speaker 3: He would come down to La to do sets and

1128
00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:24,040
Speaker 3: he would do fine, but then like nothing would quote

1129
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:27,600
Speaker 3: unquote happen in his mind. So it's like in his mind,

1130
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:29,479
Speaker 3: and this is how it happens for a lot of people.

1131
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:31,720
Speaker 3: I made up this idea of like someone in the

1132
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:33,440
Speaker 3: back of the room is gonna come forward and be like,

1133
00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:37,000
Speaker 3: sign this piece, vaper, you're no in show business. And

1134
00:57:37,040 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 3: one time he asked me, He's like, I just don't

1135
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,400
Speaker 3: get it, Like how do you move up? How do

1136
00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 3: you move up on the ladder? I just don't get this.

1137
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:47,160
Speaker 3: He was so like, kind of wild eyed and angry,

1138
00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 3: and then I just went, there's no ladder. There's no

1139
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 3: fucking ladder, Like but sorry, I don't know.

1140
00:57:54,960 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 1: Actually people with the wandering Hollywood I do and up

1141
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:01,040
Speaker 1: getting what they want.

1142
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:03,880
Speaker 3: I hate that, I know. I hate that.

1143
00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:07,720
Speaker 1: Everyone I'm thinking of is like certainly a home owe

1144
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:09,680
Speaker 1: doing awesome. You know.

1145
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:11,800
Speaker 3: I do think a lot about Lizzie Cooperman.

1146
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 2: I don't know if she still tells this joke, but

1147
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:14,760
Speaker 2: she had a joke back in the day of like

1148
00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:17,480
Speaker 2: talking about like I wonder if people say, how are

1149
00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:18,520
Speaker 2: things going to pan out?

1150
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 3: And this is how they panned out? This is it?

1151
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:25,800
Speaker 3: This is this is it? This is how they panned out.

1152
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:27,240
Speaker 3: What you have right now? Is it?

1153
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:30,800
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, Like when someone after a show says, hey, man,

1154
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:33,240
Speaker 1: keep it up, you're gonna make it, I'm like, oh no,

1155
00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:36,640
Speaker 1: I'm no, I'm afraid I have this. I'm so sorry

1156
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 1: to disappoint you, but you're looking at my level of

1157
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:41,360
Speaker 1: success that I've strived for.

1158
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:45,080
Speaker 3: But that's not true. You don't know, you have no idea,

1159
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:48,920
Speaker 3: And that's what kind of thing we're like. They always say, well,

1160
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 3: you're on your way, but they always say, you know,

1161
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 3: like any quote unquote overnight success that people feel like

1162
00:58:55,560 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 3: they're witnessing took ten fifteen years to get to that point.

1163
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 3: So like everybody has this clock that they made up

1164
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 3: that like, oh, well it's too late now, No, it's

1165
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:09,160
Speaker 3: not you. How would you know? Like you're basing your

1166
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:13,479
Speaker 3: own experience comparing yourself to other people that Like, I've

1167
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:17,480
Speaker 3: been around so long that I've watched people quote unquote

1168
00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:21,040
Speaker 3: succeed and then fail, which is even worse than this

1169
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:25,240
Speaker 3: succeed part. Like there's there's all these ways we interpret

1170
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:28,840
Speaker 3: people getting to a certain spot and what that might

1171
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:31,360
Speaker 3: mean and what it means in comparison to you. None

1172
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:33,880
Speaker 3: of that is real. It's all made up. It's all

1173
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:36,280
Speaker 3: made up and it's not concrete.

1174
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:38,640
Speaker 2: Like and Karen, I feel like you're someone who's had

1175
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:40,960
Speaker 2: success in so many different mediums too, and I feel

1176
00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:44,840
Speaker 2: like when you work in different mediums it looks less

1177
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:48,360
Speaker 2: linear because I mean there are people that are like,

1178
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:50,240
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna do stand up and like that's kind

1179
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:54,439
Speaker 2: of an easier thing to track. But when people write

1180
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:56,720
Speaker 2: and produce and you do TV and podcasting and blah

1181
00:59:56,720 --> 00:59:59,080
Speaker 2: blah blahlah blah, it's like there's so many things. It's

1182
00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:01,600
Speaker 2: like it would be lo to try to have some

1183
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:03,440
Speaker 2: sort of metric where you're like, well, I have not

1184
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:04,720
Speaker 2: here yet what is that?

1185
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:08,840
Speaker 3: What is here? Yeah, here's where you are? Here, especially

1186
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:11,800
Speaker 3: for comics, usually just means what somebody else. Usually it

1187
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:14,000
Speaker 3: means for me, the person I hate the most who

1188
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:18,040
Speaker 3: has stuff, I'm not there. Yeah, And then you're just like, well,

1189
01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 3: I'm not there, and it's like you can do you

1190
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:22,640
Speaker 3: can absolutely do that to yourself. And sometimes it works,

1191
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,439
Speaker 3: you know, if you're trying to prod yourself. But most

1192
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:27,200
Speaker 3: of the time it doesn't work that way.

1193
01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:29,360
Speaker 1: Someday I hope to be at the place where all

1194
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:33,840
Speaker 1: the people I hate are. I'm waiting until, you know,

1195
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,120
Speaker 1: as I get older and become more and more mature.

1196
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 1: That's why I plan on quote unquote making it when

1197
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:39,720
Speaker 1: I'm about sixty.

1198
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:41,960
Speaker 3: Nothing, we'll handle it.

1199
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,480
Speaker 1: I won't be any doing any of this, you know,

1200
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:47,360
Speaker 1: Justin Bieber stuff where I throw rocks at cars outside

1201
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:52,200
Speaker 1: of my church or aside. Yeah, he was well, he

1202
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:56,120
Speaker 1: was always driving erradically outside of a church. Usually, Hey,

1203
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:58,920
Speaker 1: at least he's going. At least he's a believer, a believer.

1204
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:04,520
Speaker 2: Can you got something I realized recently. I substitute taught

1205
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,000
Speaker 2: Justin Bieber's wife when she was a child.

1206
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 1: What how did you Hailey Bieber, No, she did not.

1207
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:19,360
Speaker 3: The only reason because she's the daughter of a Baldwin.

1208
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:23,560
Speaker 2: She's a Stephen Baldwin's daughter, and so I used I

1209
01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:27,280
Speaker 2: was a substitute teacher for Beverly Hills Unified, so like

1210
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:29,480
Speaker 2: a lot of my kids were like Larry King would

1211
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:31,280
Speaker 2: like come drop his kids lunchop. Like I taught a

1212
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:33,440
Speaker 2: lot of celebrity kids, and so I would this one

1213
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:36,360
Speaker 2: school that I worked at, Stephen Baldwin's daughter would go

1214
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 2: into and I'd be like, Oh, I have a Baldwin

1215
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:38,800
Speaker 2: kid in this class.

1216
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:39,560
Speaker 1: Oh wow.

1217
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:42,640
Speaker 2: And then I put two into together. I was like, wait,

1218
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:44,920
Speaker 2: that girl's name is Hailey Baldwin. And then I went

1219
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:47,040
Speaker 2: back to l rodeo and I was like, I gave

1220
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:48,480
Speaker 2: that kid like spelling tests.

1221
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:55,200
Speaker 1: Wow to Haley Baldwin. Is is Stephen Baldwin the kind

1222
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:56,400
Speaker 1: of lighter haired Baldwin?

1223
01:01:56,720 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 3: Yes?

1224
01:01:57,360 --> 01:02:00,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. He came to Missoula with a group of skateboarders

1225
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:03,440
Speaker 1: and as they put on a skate demo for the Lord,

1226
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:09,280
Speaker 1: he would yell scripture from a megaphone and he was

1227
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:12,760
Speaker 1: I think still is part of a Christian skateboard coalition

1228
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:16,680
Speaker 1: and they do little demos like the Power team, except

1229
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:21,200
Speaker 1: they do kickflips, and there was known skateboarders that were

1230
01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:23,200
Speaker 1: in this group, so we all went to see it

1231
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:25,919
Speaker 1: and it's like, wait a minute, what are they yelling through?

1232
01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:30,560
Speaker 1: Why is are these handwritten banners? It was all skating

1233
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 1: for Jesus extreme.

1234
01:02:32,520 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 2: Like skateboard west Side story.

1235
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:42,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, just start singing and dancing well skating. Yeah,

1236
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:43,360
Speaker 1: it was a real thing.

1237
01:02:45,680 --> 01:02:49,400
Speaker 3: Wow, But isn't he Oh No, I think it's Billy Baldwin.

1238
01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:52,080
Speaker 3: That's the good one, and that's very politically.

1239
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:56,439
Speaker 1: Vocal, right, yeah, he's the one from Backdraft, right yeah,

1240
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:56,960
Speaker 1: I think so.

1241
01:02:57,240 --> 01:02:57,479
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1242
01:02:57,480 --> 01:03:00,360
Speaker 2: And then I think Alec Baldwin, before his minikurfuff I

1243
01:03:00,360 --> 01:03:02,640
Speaker 2: think was a pretty solid Democrat.

1244
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:09,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, he's been a real mister bungle lately.

1245
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:15,840
Speaker 3: He really, he really has talk about butterfingers, truly violent

1246
01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:17,760
Speaker 3: kerfuffles that have happened.

1247
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:21,960
Speaker 1: He's chicanery is off.

1248
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:25,880
Speaker 3: The what I truly love. And I don't think anyone.

1249
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:29,520
Speaker 3: I don't think there's enough time in human existence to

1250
01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 3: spend enough time talking about Hilario Baldwin and her fake

1251
01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:37,360
Speaker 3: accent and all the all that that means and all

1252
01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:40,000
Speaker 3: of the ways that like in some ways people are

1253
01:03:40,040 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 3: just like, she's the nicest person. It doesn't matter, no

1254
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:46,600
Speaker 3: one cares. And it's like absolutely and great and it's

1255
01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:49,920
Speaker 3: nice to know that. And at the same time, what

1256
01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:50,640
Speaker 3: are you doing?

1257
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 1: Right? What are you doing spend the weekend?

1258
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:58,880
Speaker 2: Right? Like if we've taken a groundling class, like the

1259
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:01,280
Speaker 2: idea of maintaining an accent for that.

1260
01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 3: Exhausting?

1261
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:07,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. The only thing I hold against Jim Carrey

1262
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:14,960
Speaker 1: is acting like Andy uh Kaufman. Why are we it's

1263
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:20,280
Speaker 1: Kaufman Kaufman. Thank you? I thought you said Bachman Andy

1264
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:24,880
Speaker 1: Kaufman overdrive for the entire like off camera. There's a

1265
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,720
Speaker 1: documentary about it, and I'm like, Okay, this is actually annoying.

1266
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:29,280
Speaker 1: Other than that, I love the guy.

1267
01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:33,480
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, that's that's exhausting. Here's my job to think

1268
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:33,920
Speaker 3: about it.

1269
01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:37,480
Speaker 1: His commitment to character gives me TMJ.

1270
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:40,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you should be able to tell an actor to

1271
01:04:40,080 --> 01:04:42,040
Speaker 2: fuck off if they do that, because I mean, don't

1272
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:44,800
Speaker 2: we all I mean a comic who's always on, Yes,

1273
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 2: terrible imagine like that, but with acting, right.

1274
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:52,640
Speaker 3: Oh god, so much more boring and less entertaining. Yeah,

1275
01:04:52,640 --> 01:04:55,040
Speaker 3: it's just like you have to stop acting now. Where

1276
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:56,480
Speaker 3: I'm going to kick you out of this dead.

1277
01:04:56,640 --> 01:05:00,000
Speaker 1: Although I do like comedians who are funny all the game,

1278
01:05:00,240 --> 01:05:02,040
Speaker 1: damn time. It's a fine line.

1279
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:05,680
Speaker 3: Yes, that's true. Yeah, and I'm willing to go through

1280
01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:10,960
Speaker 3: the pain parts because of the comedy, like absolutely that

1281
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:12,640
Speaker 3: ain't I adore it.

1282
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:12,960
Speaker 1: Thanks.

1283
01:05:13,680 --> 01:05:15,600
Speaker 2: But I find that people who are funny all the

1284
01:05:15,680 --> 01:05:19,800
Speaker 2: time are usually especially funny when they're like grumpy, yes,

1285
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,800
Speaker 2: or like they're funny in the way that they're angry.

1286
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:24,960
Speaker 3: Usually yes, you know, it's not them.

1287
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 1: Like I just made Oh what am I doing? I'm sorry?

1288
01:05:31,280 --> 01:05:33,720
Speaker 2: And they always they always have like cool sweaters and

1289
01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:34,640
Speaker 2: they skate.

1290
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:35,920
Speaker 1: There we are, thank you again.

1291
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they always give up drinking for a month

1292
01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:38,480
Speaker 3: in a.

1293
01:05:38,400 --> 01:05:42,800
Speaker 1: Well there we are, Okay, everyone out of the bag.

1294
01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:45,240
Speaker 1: I'm angry and hilarious around the clock.

1295
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:50,160
Speaker 3: I actually just saw a thing on TikTok. If this

1296
01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:52,960
Speaker 3: helps you, If the next time you get angry, you

1297
01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:57,000
Speaker 3: just go and push against a wall and count thirty

1298
01:05:57,080 --> 01:06:00,439
Speaker 3: seconds and push as hard as you can against the wall.

1299
01:06:00,920 --> 01:06:02,840
Speaker 3: And then when you're done pushing against the wall, you

1300
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:04,680
Speaker 3: stand there and then you put one hand on your

1301
01:06:04,680 --> 01:06:06,880
Speaker 3: stomach and one hand on your heart, and you stand

1302
01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:10,400
Speaker 3: like that for thirty seconds. And it's basically because oftentimes

1303
01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:15,120
Speaker 3: people have when anger, you feel like you're not allowed

1304
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:17,680
Speaker 3: to express anger, which is a thing from our childhoods.

1305
01:06:18,080 --> 01:06:20,520
Speaker 3: Then it comes out in different ways or like you

1306
01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:22,080
Speaker 3: have to wait till you're drunk, or you have to

1307
01:06:22,160 --> 01:06:26,000
Speaker 3: wait till you're whatever, or you're passive aggressive, and so

1308
01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:29,480
Speaker 3: when you do that, it's the physical frustration you allow

1309
01:06:29,520 --> 01:06:34,080
Speaker 3: yourself to like you force yourself to feel that physical frustration,

1310
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:37,400
Speaker 3: and then you just sit there having felt it, without

1311
01:06:37,680 --> 01:06:40,400
Speaker 3: being in trouble or anybody telling you you're wrong or anything.

1312
01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:42,680
Speaker 3: I just watched that on TikTok this morning, and I

1313
01:06:42,720 --> 01:06:45,560
Speaker 3: was like, that's fucking genius because that really is the

1314
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:49,760
Speaker 3: feeling and then you're basically feeling it with just allowing

1315
01:06:49,800 --> 01:06:51,720
Speaker 3: yourself to do it as an adult, like you're fine,

1316
01:06:51,800 --> 01:06:53,600
Speaker 3: you can feel this as much as you want.

1317
01:06:53,880 --> 01:06:56,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, like allowing yourself to go there as hard as

1318
01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:59,080
Speaker 2: you want instead of putting the what's that car part

1319
01:06:59,200 --> 01:06:59,760
Speaker 2: the governor?

1320
01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:06,520
Speaker 3: Have you ever done like a shadow a shadow box? No?

1321
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:10,800
Speaker 2: Oh, the way you're describing sounds like a shadow boxing class,

1322
01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:13,480
Speaker 2: Like I'll take them on like YouTuber peloton, and it's

1323
01:07:13,520 --> 01:07:16,920
Speaker 2: exactly that like you just do these like coordinated punches

1324
01:07:16,960 --> 01:07:19,320
Speaker 2: and you find like things that you forgot you were

1325
01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:21,800
Speaker 2: pissed off about, like bubbling to the surface and it

1326
01:07:21,880 --> 01:07:23,800
Speaker 2: just feels so good and you just like punch it

1327
01:07:23,840 --> 01:07:27,120
Speaker 2: out of your fists and you feel euphoric afterwards, or

1328
01:07:27,160 --> 01:07:29,040
Speaker 2: I do oh, I want to do that because.

1329
01:07:28,880 --> 01:07:33,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I can punch that at the air here,

1330
01:07:33,440 --> 01:07:34,200
Speaker 1: I have enough room.

1331
01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:36,640
Speaker 3: I can kick, I can punch.

1332
01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:38,479
Speaker 1: I high, I can kick.

1333
01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:41,959
Speaker 3: When Kristin Glover was on yet kicked off.

1334
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:45,360
Speaker 1: Look, I'm strong, I'm striking and I can't kick.

1335
01:07:46,120 --> 01:07:48,439
Speaker 3: And Letterman just you ever do a commercial and when

1336
01:07:48,440 --> 01:07:49,640
Speaker 3: they came back, he wasn't there.

1337
01:07:49,840 --> 01:07:54,160
Speaker 1: No that It's one of those many times that guy

1338
01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:57,120
Speaker 1: was my hero for most of my life and then

1339
01:07:57,160 --> 01:08:00,520
Speaker 1: you watch these old the way he treats, you know,

1340
01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:04,360
Speaker 1: like Drew Barrymore or I'm like, wait, he was like

1341
01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:09,000
Speaker 1: a grumpy I don't know. I loved Letterman for so long,

1342
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:11,760
Speaker 1: but he overreacting and got pissed at Chrispin Glover, who

1343
01:08:11,800 --> 01:08:15,760
Speaker 1: was just being a character. The foot wasn't that close

1344
01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:17,200
Speaker 1: to his face, That's what I'm saying.

1345
01:08:17,439 --> 01:08:21,959
Speaker 3: He it's a control thing, though, I think because anything

1346
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:24,479
Speaker 3: you see on especially a talk show when they're like

1347
01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:27,439
Speaker 3: a surprise and oh he didn't know. It's never a surprise.

1348
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:31,719
Speaker 3: They know everything. It's all fake. So he's he's about

1349
01:08:31,720 --> 01:08:35,920
Speaker 3: control and basically Crispin Glover came out, was super weird

1350
01:08:36,080 --> 01:08:38,960
Speaker 3: and then started kicking toward David Letterman's head and he

1351
01:08:39,080 --> 01:08:40,519
Speaker 3: was like, we'll be right back.

1352
01:08:40,760 --> 01:08:44,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I'm team Letterman on this one.

1353
01:08:44,960 --> 01:08:46,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I got I got to come up with

1354
01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:47,760
Speaker 1: better examples.

1355
01:08:48,200 --> 01:08:50,559
Speaker 3: I have to say, I think David Letterman is like

1356
01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:54,639
Speaker 3: still one of the best interviews for so he has.

1357
01:08:54,800 --> 01:08:56,720
Speaker 2: I think it's Netflix, which is him doing like long

1358
01:08:56,720 --> 01:08:59,040
Speaker 2: form interviews, Like they don't make him like that anymore.

1359
01:08:59,360 --> 01:09:01,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I just wish you would shave that beard.

1360
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:08,160
Speaker 3: It's so distracting. Yeah, it's crazy, and it's so hilariously

1361
01:09:08,240 --> 01:09:11,120
Speaker 3: different than what he was like before, Like he was

1362
01:09:11,160 --> 01:09:15,120
Speaker 3: a mister fucking button down, he was mister Brooks Brothers,

1363
01:09:15,320 --> 01:09:19,479
Speaker 3: and then now he's like truly like a lighthouse keeper

1364
01:09:20,160 --> 01:09:22,360
Speaker 3: in a way where you're just like, Dave, what do

1365
01:09:22,439 --> 01:09:25,400
Speaker 3: you doing? And it makes people itchy to look at.

1366
01:09:25,840 --> 01:09:28,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is what happens with me. I imagine him

1367
01:09:28,840 --> 01:09:32,599
Speaker 1: having blemishes under there and scraping at them. Yeah, beards

1368
01:09:32,600 --> 01:09:37,880
Speaker 1: are gross business. And there's mayonnaise and all of them. Yeah,

1369
01:09:38,040 --> 01:09:40,559
Speaker 1: all mustaches have mayonnaise. That's why I got rid of it.

1370
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:43,360
Speaker 1: If you really want to know, I don't even mayonnaise.

1371
01:09:43,439 --> 01:09:47,880
Speaker 3: It's the air. It's just it's a mayonnaise catcher.

1372
01:09:48,080 --> 01:09:51,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. I found a test doesn't like mayonnaise either. People

1373
01:09:51,080 --> 01:09:55,479
Speaker 1: get Yeah, it turns clear overnight hate it. Get it?

1374
01:09:55,680 --> 01:09:58,680
Speaker 3: We all hate it? Yeah, Oh, we are so right,

1375
01:09:58,720 --> 01:10:03,880
Speaker 3: you guys. Used to give herself mayonnaise hair conditioning packs

1376
01:10:03,880 --> 01:10:04,519
Speaker 3: on the weekends.

1377
01:10:04,680 --> 01:10:05,880
Speaker 1: I will, and she would.

1378
01:10:06,479 --> 01:10:10,160
Speaker 3: She would have it under her fingernails, and I truly

1379
01:10:10,320 --> 01:10:12,880
Speaker 3: like any I sometimes you have to have it on

1380
01:10:12,920 --> 01:10:17,559
Speaker 3: a sandwich just for moist but if it's if there's

1381
01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:20,439
Speaker 3: any more than what is absolutely necessary, I'm just like,

1382
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:22,840
Speaker 3: I can't, I have to. I can't do this. I'll

1383
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:24,240
Speaker 3: take mustard both sides.

1384
01:10:24,920 --> 01:10:28,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, any mustard, man, But I don't want that

1385
01:10:28,240 --> 01:10:29,000
Speaker 1: in my hair either.

1386
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:32,400
Speaker 2: I was a child actress and my mom used to

1387
01:10:32,479 --> 01:10:35,439
Speaker 2: be for auditions. She would make me do a raw

1388
01:10:35,479 --> 01:10:38,360
Speaker 2: egg or sometimes I would have to do a cold

1389
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:40,559
Speaker 2: shower and she would pour a coarse light in my hair,

1390
01:10:41,200 --> 01:10:42,640
Speaker 2: shiny body.

1391
01:10:42,400 --> 01:10:45,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, which she did? You think you'd get more work

1392
01:10:45,240 --> 01:10:48,400
Speaker 1: if you had dreadlocks eggs.

1393
01:10:49,120 --> 01:10:52,839
Speaker 2: I just been out for really like inappropriate kind of rolls.

1394
01:10:54,240 --> 01:11:04,519
Speaker 3: Cool runnings, just always only cool runnings. I think we're

1395
01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:06,840
Speaker 3: at time, guys. I think we've done it and my

1396
01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:10,280
Speaker 3: dons won't stop barking effortlesslie tess, what would you like

1397
01:11:10,360 --> 01:11:13,719
Speaker 3: to plug on your way out? Aside from of course exactly?

1398
01:11:13,760 --> 01:11:15,679
Speaker 3: Writes own Lady to Lady podcast.

1399
01:11:15,760 --> 01:11:18,640
Speaker 2: Yes, please listen to my podcast Lady to Lady. You

1400
01:11:18,680 --> 01:11:22,559
Speaker 2: can listen to my investigative documentary podcast Toxic, the Britney

1401
01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:27,719
Speaker 2: Spears Story. Watch me do stand up on Testify Barker

1402
01:11:27,760 --> 01:11:30,120
Speaker 2: with two s's on my Instagram and Twitter where I

1403
01:11:30,120 --> 01:11:31,519
Speaker 2: post my dates and stuff like that.

1404
01:11:32,000 --> 01:11:35,280
Speaker 3: Nice, you're the best test What a joy? That was lovely.

1405
01:11:35,720 --> 01:11:38,760
Speaker 3: That was the easiest, best conversation.

1406
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:42,960
Speaker 1: I expended little to no energy in your presence and

1407
01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:44,000
Speaker 1: that a compliment.

1408
01:11:44,560 --> 01:11:47,639
Speaker 3: The ripping was feather light, so fun.

1409
01:11:48,160 --> 01:11:51,080
Speaker 1: You've been listening to Do you need a ride? D

1410
01:11:51,320 --> 01:12:03,160
Speaker 1: y n hey are? This has been an exactly right production.

1411
01:12:03,600 --> 01:12:05,480
Speaker 3: Produced by Annalise Nelson.

1412
01:12:05,479 --> 01:12:07,160
Speaker 1: Mixed by Edson Choi.

1413
01:12:07,320 --> 01:12:09,200
Speaker 3: Our talent booker is Patrick Kottner.

1414
01:12:09,479 --> 01:12:11,440
Speaker 1: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.

1415
01:12:11,880 --> 01:12:15,400
Speaker 3: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter,

1416
01:12:15,439 --> 01:12:19,800
Speaker 3: and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y nar Podcast.

1417
01:12:20,240 --> 01:12:23,800
Speaker 1: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.

1418
01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:26,080
Speaker 3: Thank you, Oh, You're welcome.