1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:18,960 Speaker 1: Today's tip is about how practically to build a gratitude 4 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 1: practice well. It's easy to get distracted by what's hard 5 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 1: or frustrating. Things tend to go better and we tend 6 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,640 Speaker 1: to be happier when we focus on what's going well. 7 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: In his book Flourish, psychologist Martin Seligman, one of the 8 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: founders of the field of positive psychology, proposes a daily 9 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: routine he calls what went Well or the Three Blessings. 10 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: Every day, he advises write down three things big or small, 11 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 1: that went well. Some examples might be things like my 12 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:52,040 Speaker 1: top choice candidate accepted our job offer, I had a 13 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 1: great lunch with a new colleague, and my spouse offered 14 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,319 Speaker 1: to handle the grocery shopping for the cook out we're 15 00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 1: having with neighbors this weekend. The second part of the exercise, 16 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: which Seligman says is essential, is to articulate why each 17 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 1: of these things went well. So, for example, you might 18 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 1: note that the top choice candidate accepted the job offer 19 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,959 Speaker 1: because she valued the mentoring your firm offers. As for 20 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: that great lunch. It happened because you appreciated spending time 21 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 1: with colleagues when you were new, so you make sure 22 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: to invite new hires to things, and your spouse offered 23 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: to handle the grocery shopping because he values your time 24 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: well and because he loves a reason to go to costco. 25 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,479 Speaker 1: Writing down what went well helps us focus on all 26 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: the things that we have to be grateful for, and 27 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: talking about why these things went well helps us acknowledge 28 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 1: the positive role others play and making things go well 29 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: in our life, like the spouse who values and equal partnership, 30 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: or the colleagues who welcomed you when you were new. 31 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 1: We pause and appreciate these people rather than taking them 32 00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: for granted. Writing down why things went well also helps 33 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 1: us notice what we ourselves do to make things turn 34 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: out well, like paying attention to what a job applicant 35 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:11,360 Speaker 1: wants and highlighting how our firm offers it. What we 36 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,920 Speaker 1: do in our lives matters, and connecting our past actions 37 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 1: to positive outcomes builds our sense of agency and our 38 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: motivation to make smart choices in the future. Now, obviously, 39 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,239 Speaker 1: it makes the most sense to write down what went 40 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 1: well as an end of day ritual. The whether that's 41 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 1: the end of the work day or the end of 42 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:34,919 Speaker 1: the actual day is up to you. You could make 43 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 1: something like this a daily ritual in your family, with 44 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 1: everybody logging what went well in a family notebook as 45 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: you're gathering for dinner or to say goodnight. Today is 46 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,239 Speaker 1: Thanksgiving Day in the United States, in which the whole 47 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:52,400 Speaker 1: day is theoretically focused on giving thanks and that's great, 48 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,360 Speaker 1: but it's noticing the day to day good stuff of 49 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 1: life that really makes us happier and ultimately more grateful. 50 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,519 Speaker 1: So by all means, count your blessings as you cut 51 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: the turkey, but take a moment to notice what goes 52 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:09,639 Speaker 1: well tomorrow too, and the next day and the next day, 53 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 1: and pretty soon you'll be seeing a lot more of 54 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: these positive things. In the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks 55 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, 56 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 57 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 58 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:38,800 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod 59 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: that's B the number four then Breakfast p o D. 60 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 61 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: Podcast at I heeart media dot Com that Before Breakfast 62 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 1: is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, 63 00:03:53,960 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is 64 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from 65 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 66 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H