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Speaker 1: Two hopeless daters, one dating app.

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Speaker 2: Then there's you guys, swipe right. The question is whose

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Speaker 2: love life is more tragic.

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Speaker 3: It's Battle of the Tinder Dates. It's the dating game

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Speaker 3: show that has a pilot eject button for the loser.

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Speaker 3: Oh so, get ready for a scream in edition of

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Speaker 3: Battle of the Tender Dates, where two of our listeners

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Speaker 3: go head to head to find out whose dating life

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Speaker 3: is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules in just

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Speaker 3: a second. First, let's meet today's contestants in this corner.

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Speaker 3: Even when he gets bad service at a restaurant, he

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Speaker 3: still tips thirty percent, then leaves and lights a small

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Speaker 3: fire in the alley behind the kitchen like a gentleman.

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Speaker 3: Meet big Flame, James, he died. We always have a

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Speaker 3: lighters in gasoline on hand, James. Or Yeah, And in

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Speaker 3: the other corner, his ideal first date is living through

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Speaker 3: a global apocalypse that wipes out O humanity, making it

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Speaker 3: his responsibility to repopulate the entire earth meat fertile Kyle.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hello Kyle.

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Speaker 3: We were so close there for a second. You know

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Speaker 3: I'm talking to I think I just got pregnant. Well,

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Speaker 3: how the game works? One contestant is going to start

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Speaker 3: by telling one of their worst dating stories. Then the

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Speaker 3: other will try and counter with a nightmare story of

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Speaker 3: their own. We're going back and forth for three rounds,

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Speaker 3: and afterwards we will declare a winner. Big Flame James

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Speaker 3: kick us off.

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Speaker 1: So I went ice dating with this girl.

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Speaker 3: Okay, that's cute.

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Speaker 1: It was both our first time ever.

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Speaker 2: Try again, Not so cute.

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Speaker 3: It's like Bambi out there. What if he needs to

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Speaker 3: know to be able to hold the other one up? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's true.

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Speaker 1: So she offered to put my phone in her wallet,

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Speaker 1: in my watching and my stuff in her purse, and

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Speaker 1: she put it inside of a locker.

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Speaker 3: That's smart.

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Speaker 1: So we get on the ice and it turns out

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Speaker 1: she's really good at ice skating.

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Speaker 3: On the first try, yeah.

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Speaker 1: The first so I'm slipping and fall in the middle.

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Speaker 1: I see her doing a figure eight over twelve lockers.

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Speaker 3: Y truth here, But this is the worst part.

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Speaker 1: When she gets to the lockers, she steals my stuff

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Speaker 1: and just waves goodbye to me. No, you can't get

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Speaker 1: over there.

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Speaker 3: Well she she kind of earned it. Fertile Kyle, can

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Speaker 3: you count her?

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Speaker 2: Okay, I went out with this girl and she immediately

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Speaker 2: invited me over to her place, which and it turns

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Speaker 2: out she lives with her parents.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I didn't tell you that prior.

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Speaker 2: She didn't mention that, but I was surprised, but I

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Speaker 2: stayed really ok. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And then right.

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Speaker 2: Before bed, she told me if we want to hook up,

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Speaker 2: they wouldn't be able to hear us if we went

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Speaker 2: into this dirty, unfinished crawl space under the house.

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Speaker 3: Oh gosh, it's like hook up. Den. Here's a decision

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Speaker 3: that you have to make.

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Speaker 2: Well, I I did it. I said, yes?

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Speaker 1: Was it worth it?

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Speaker 2: It was the filthiest walk of shame ever.

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Speaker 3: Round to James.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I did a candle making class for like our

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Speaker 1: first day. When you start, they let you picked a cent.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I picked vanilla vanilla.

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Speaker 1: When my date got act with since she wanted to

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Speaker 1: pick she wanted it to smell like her last boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: Oh do they have that in the array? Yeah, vanilla hazelnut.

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Speaker 3: Your ex tears. That's what she said out loud.

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Speaker 1: Out loud, like to the person who acts. And then

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Speaker 1: after that, this is the craziest part. She took a

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Speaker 1: lock of hair from her purse and acts that they

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Speaker 1: could bake it into a candle for her.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, did it smell good hair? Probably surprising.

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Speaker 2: Good.

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Speaker 3: Okay, that is awful, Kyle got to hit back.

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Speaker 2: All right. I just had a tandard dinner date with

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Speaker 2: this girl, and then I paid for her uber to

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Speaker 2: get back to her apartment.

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Speaker 3: Okay, classic Jose move.

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Speaker 1: Keep going.

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Speaker 2: I look at the tracker and I see that it

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Speaker 2: takes a detour for a moment, but then it gets

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Speaker 2: back on track.

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Speaker 3: It's a little bit creepy that you're watching you're out, But.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm making sure she gets home.

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Speaker 3: Just wait for the text.

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Speaker 2: But all right, but then it gets weirder when I'm

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Speaker 2: charged to a fee.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was, you know, maybe.

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Speaker 2: She puked in the back and they were charging me

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Speaker 2: for the clean up. It turns out she picked up

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Speaker 2: another guy and started hooking up in the back seat.

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Speaker 1: What can you see that on.

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Speaker 3: The little icon?

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Speaker 1: Does it change?

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Speaker 3: No wonder? Alexis's uber bill is always so high. It's

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Speaker 3: around three. This is their final round. Need to be

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Speaker 3: your best stories, gentlemen. What do you got, James?

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna girls who volunteers at the Humane Society? Oh,

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Speaker 1: she like me to come meet her there before our

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Speaker 1: dinner day signs. She comes out holding a cat. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: and she filled out an application under my name and

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Speaker 1: adopted a.

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Speaker 2: Cat for me.

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Speaker 3: Oh your cat.

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Speaker 1: Apparently the shelter had too many kittens, so she said

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Speaker 1: she was using lonely tender guys as candidates to come

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Speaker 1: take them.

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Speaker 3: That's a different definition of cat fishing.

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Speaker 2: Somebody did, what did you name your cat?

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Speaker 3: I didn't take the cat, Terrible Kyle, last chance go okay?

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Speaker 2: I matched with what I thought was a real life

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Speaker 2: model on Tinder.

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Speaker 3: Okay. Already.

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Speaker 2: By way through our date, she told me she has

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Speaker 2: this big gig coming up, and she asked me if

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Speaker 2: she could is showing me her poses? Okay, obviously I

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Speaker 2: say yes.

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Speaker 3: Even if she's not great at it.

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Speaker 2: Who does She puts her fingers in her mouth, go

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Speaker 2: on and opens her lips up wide.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I'm listening.

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Speaker 2: Okay. Well, I was like, what's going on? She says

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Speaker 2: she does dentistry. Magazine shoots, Oh she's a professional gum model.

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Speaker 1: Wow wow.

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Speaker 3: Jefferys still like and continue, do next?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 3: Final bell? That means the match is over. We have

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Speaker 3: to score this, Alexis I'm gonna go James for the

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Speaker 3: girl with the ex boyfriend candles one for big blame James, Brooke,

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Speaker 3: I feel bad for James.

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Speaker 1: I go James for getting robbed.

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Speaker 3: Congratulations big flame, James. You have a dating life that

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Speaker 3: makes Jose feel good about being Yeah, I didn't think

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Speaker 3: I'll go without one. That's Battle of the Tinder dates.

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Speaker 3: Phone tap right after

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Speaker 1: That, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,