WEBVTT - Do Apologies Matter? 0:00:05.400 --> 0:00:06.680 Saw us on the side. 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:10.000 Hello, it's Gandhi and I'm here with my girl Diamond, 0:00:10.440 --> 0:00:12.399 who I have to say, I think, Diamond, you are 0:00:12.440 --> 0:00:15.960 becoming a superstar. Really yeah, I think people really like you, 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:17.400 which is a shocking. 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:20.840 It is very shocking the first time in my entire 0:00:20.880 --> 0:00:25.160 life the people, damn lie, people hated me growing up. Kidding, 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:28.200 go ahead, go on, Yeah, they hated me. Girls hated me. 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:31.440 I don't know what an interesting statement. I always find 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:35.199 it questionable when people say that did. 0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:38.000 Girls hate you for no reason? Or were you hateable? 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:40.280 I probably was hateable, but a lot of these girls 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:42.199 didn't even really know me, so it's just why they 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:46.160 did you. I guess boys, it's not my fault boys 0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:46.600 liked me? 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:48.240 What happened? 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:49.760 They just hated me? 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:54.720 No, I met boys like you, Oh honey whatever, anyway, 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:56.680 Were you a mean girl? 0:00:57.160 --> 0:00:59.800 No, but I had potential to be so like I 0:00:59.880 --> 0:01:02.280 was mean to people for no reason, like, which is 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:04.160 why I was so shocking when people like I got 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:05.720 to high school and people really didn't like me, and 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:06.760 I was like, oh what did I do? 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:07.679 Oh? Okay? Whatever? 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:08.360 Interesting? 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:09.160 Okay? 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:12.800 I you know, like I live in a certain land 0:01:12.800 --> 0:01:15.440 of delusion. For the most part, where I'm like, nobody 0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:18.360 dislikes me until you know you have a reason to 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:21.240 dislike me. Why would you make me any character in 0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:22.680 your story if we don't know each other and I've 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:24.000 never met you or talk to you or done anything 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:25.760 to you, that can't be true. And then I found 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:27.800 out who it is. No, yeah, that's a bummer. 0:01:28.000 --> 0:01:29.559 Oh yeah, I think it's kind of fun. 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:32.280 I used to like you, like really be upset you 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:33.000 like meing the villain? 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:37.040 Oh yeah, Okay, I take pride in it because I'm like, hey, 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:40.479 you made me this way. Yeah, I love it. 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:42.600 I told you I want everyone to lean into their 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:45.040 villain era because I feel like I've been living in 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:47.440 that space for quite some time. And you know me, 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:50.320 I hear what you're saying, and I accept what you're 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:52.040 saying to me because that's how you feel, and I 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:53.600 cannot talk you out of your feelings. 0:01:53.840 --> 0:01:54.920 But if you were to ask. 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:57.120 Me do I think I'm a villain? I would never 0:01:57.200 --> 0:02:00.240 say yes. I don't think I'm a villain at all. Uh, 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:02.960 here we go, Okay, No, go ahead. 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:10.639 I don't don't trust villain. I was gonna say, I 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:12.520 don't think you're a villain on purpose. But I do 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:16.160 think that you do things sometimes that are like, oh yeah, 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:18.080 it's like I say this all the time, like the 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:21.480 mischievous kid in the classroom who just wants to see 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:24.160 the classroom something in it catch on fire. 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:26.000 No, I mean, for sure, I do that kind of 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:28.440 stuff like I would. I like, I'm I will say 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:29.919 this all the time. I feel like I'm the youngest child. 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:31.520 I like to needle and poke people and play around 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:33.720 with them because that's my love language. We're playing well, 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:35.520 or so I think we're playing, and then you know, 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:37.320 you quickly find out other people do not feel the 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:40.440 same way. No, yeah, that's a bummer. We got a 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:44.440 lot of bummer things happening here. But I've also decided 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:48.120 I don't care anymore if people do think that I'm 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:50.800 the bad guy, because I know my intentions and I 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:53.200 know what I'm trying to do, and if people have 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:55.440 a problem with it, then that, to me might just 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:58.040 be their problem because I'm never operating out of a 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:01.079 place of being mean, and if I f up, I 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:02.160 will apologize for it. 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:04.760 Wait, so you're never operating in a place of being 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:06.160 from a place of being Oh. 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:08.440 I don't know all the time, And I don't purposely 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:09.320 try to be mean to people. 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.480 Why not we need to be meaner we do. 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:14.480 I think that might be like the problem with the 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:16.919 world at the moment is everybody is sort of feeling 0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:19.600 that same thing and on that same page. And I 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:22.720 think you would be so shocked in so many instances 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:26.160 when two people are being shitty to each other, if 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:29.440 one just breaks and is nice, usually the other person 0:03:29.480 --> 0:03:31.480 will as well. And I think it just takes that 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:34.320 first step of like the white flag. Hey man, let's calm, 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:35.280 let's all calm down. 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:38.000 No, if you give me a reason to be mean, 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:40.480 I'm gonna take it to the grave. We're gonna be 0:03:40.520 --> 0:03:42.080 mean forever. What's of it? 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:45.320 What is a reason that you think there is to 0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:45.680 be mean? 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:56.640 Uh, if someone does something that could ruin your reputation 0:03:57.320 --> 0:04:01.160 or like your livelihood or something like that, oh it's war, 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:04.200 or like they do something that really hurts your feelings 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:10.400 or like intentionally okay, or something that is mean toward 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:14.840 people that you love. I think those grounds for war forever. Okay, start, 0:04:15.320 --> 0:04:16.200 we'll finish. 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:18.400 I understand that. So you're very much like an eye 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:21.520 for an eye, let's all be blind. I get that 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:25.040 sometimes I do. I mean, if somebody tried to specifically 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:27.839 come for me on purpose and be crappy to me, yes, 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:30.200 I'm not going to be nice to that person. But 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:33.440 I don't think I ever fire the first shots. I 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:36.560 try not. No, I don't have unintentionally, but I try 0:04:36.560 --> 0:04:36.800 not to. 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:41.440 If you have, I think it's been unintentionally. But also 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:44.120 I don't know you. I only know you here. 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:49.160 I'm pretty much the same. I actually think people get 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:51.920 a way better version of me here. This is the 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:54.920 most like buttoned up and put together that I ever 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:57.919 am in my life is here. So this is like 0:04:58.000 --> 0:05:01.760 my best foot forward here a mess outside of here? 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:07.240 Yeah, but okay, how are you two people not on 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:10.520 the street, but like people like not here at work, 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:12.479 but not people that you've grown up with or know 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:14.520 you closely. 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:16.880 Like random people or just like acquaintances. 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:19.840 Let's go with acquaintances, because random people. I think we're 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:21.520 all nice to random people. To be mean to a 0:05:21.560 --> 0:05:23.440 person you don't know, like on the street that holds 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:24.839 the door for you or something like that, it's just 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:25.679 insanely weird. 0:05:25.800 --> 0:05:29.760 But how am I to acquaintances? I mean, do I 0:05:29.839 --> 0:05:31.120 like them? Or do I not? I think you know 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:33.960 me well enough. If I don't like someone, I'm not 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:35.400 gonna be mean to them. I just act like I 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:37.760 cannot see them and go about my business. 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:40.680 You do, Yeah, you absolutely do. I love every second 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:42.360 of it. Ten out of ten. 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:45.960 There was a person here for a while who crust me, 0:05:47.400 --> 0:05:51.960 you see, so, so. 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:54.200 If he or she was to come to you, yeah, 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:59.680 with kindness in twenty twenty six, Yeah, would you still 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:01.640 hold grudu or would you be over it and move 0:06:01.680 --> 0:06:03.000 forward in a nice way? 0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:07.000 I would probably move forward. What I don't ever listen 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:10.400 if you can see the errors of your ways, the 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:13.520 error of your ways, and you want to address it 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:15.760 and say sorry, I aft that up. I was an 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:18.240 idiot and super stupid and I shouldn't have done all 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:19.360 of those things. 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:19.679 That I did. 0:06:20.600 --> 0:06:23.799 Okay, cool, we can move on. I won't trust you again. 0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:25.960 I'm not gonna We're not gonna be besties, we're not 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:28.320 gonna hang out. But I also won't ic you out 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:30.880 to where you know, Like I'm talking and you walk 0:06:30.880 --> 0:06:32.960 into a room and I walk out. 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:36.280 I know you all loved it. I loved I lived 0:06:36.320 --> 0:06:40.960 for it. Okay, you're better than me. I could forgive 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:42.720 but I'm still never gonna talk to you. 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:45.360 Can we talk about that you're better than me? That 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:49.640 is black people's way of saying that's stupid. 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:54.919 No, it's my way of saying you're better that I 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:55.760 wouldn't be able. 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:58.800 To do it is it is a condescending bless your heart. 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:01.599 No, it is kind of like a bless your heart 0:07:01.760 --> 0:07:03.520 if you like it, I love it, babes, you know 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:06.760 something like that. But like, how would you have handled 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:10.160 that situation? Never speak to you again? And I honestly 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:14.920 I would look for something to put in my arsenal 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:17.320 and use it immediately. 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:20.040 I don't care about that, like, see you're better than me, 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:23.600 because it would be war forever. Yeah, I just I 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:27.040 feel like, generally speaking, and this is not all the time. 0:07:27.160 --> 0:07:29.520 I'm sure that at some point somebody will cross me 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:30.720 in a way that maybe I do just want to 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:32.760 get vengeance all the time. And we joke about this 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:34.920 on the show because I'm like revenge sometimes there needs 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:37.280 to be prevenge. If you suspect somebody's gonna do something, 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:38.200 you strike. 0:07:38.600 --> 0:07:43.560 But you know, I'm kidding. I'm not really serious about that. 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:47.120 I think that me hating another person and them not 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:50.960 knowing about it every day only tortures me like I'm 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.600 the only one that really cares about it. This bitch 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:56.280 from high school I used to be friends with until 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:58.200 well after high school. Who if I ever see her, 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:00.640 there's a chance I punch her in the face. She's 0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:02.760 just living her life. She doesn't care. She probably never 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:04.800 thinks about me. I mean, I kind of hope she does. 0:08:04.840 --> 0:08:05.600 I hope she has to. 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:07.760 I hope that I'm on the radio somewhere where she is. 0:08:08.360 --> 0:08:09.920 I hope her best friend loves me. And I hope 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:13.200 her socks are wet every day every day. 0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:19.600 That is the best punishment that. Oh wow, you know. 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:21.680 That big ex the plug song with Ella Langley where 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:23.800 they're just wishing poor things on each other or on 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:26.720 like you know, their significant others. My favorite line is, 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:28.760 I hope you fall in love and every day he 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:29.600 hurts your feelings. 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:31.400 Oh that is what I hope for this bitch. 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:35.640 I'm not even gonna say her name, and so sad. 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:37.920 But you'll deserve it. Some people deserve it. She deserves it. 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:39.360 Do you want to know what she did? What? 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:41.360 I feel like I might have told you this. She 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:46.800 was my best friend and when my boyfriend died. She 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:49.720 did not show up for anything. She was nowhere to 0:08:49.720 --> 0:08:52.080 be found, and we were standing on the bay for 0:08:52.120 --> 0:08:54.440 three days while they looked for his body. She didn't 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:56.360 come to anything. She didn't call me, she didn't text 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:58.000 me nothing, And I was in the midst of all it. 0:08:58.000 --> 0:09:00.959 I didn't really even pay attention to it. Days later, 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:03.960 she butt dialed me and I was like, oh damn, 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:05.839 where has she been? This is crazy? Like I hope 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:07.560 she's okay. And I answered, and it was a quote 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:10.280 unquote butt dial, I should say. And she was talking 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:13.400 to a friend of hers about how ridiculous I was 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:19.080 being because I missed her birthday and Chad's dead, so 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:22.000 it's not like I could celebrate him. How selfish was 0:09:22.120 --> 0:09:25.199 I to not even say happy birthday to her during 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:27.800 all of this? Fuck me? I'm dead to her, no way, 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:29.560 swear no. 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:34.640 I And there's well, I guess my question is, like, 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:37.120 to this day, does she know that you got that 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:37.640 butt dial? 0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:40.000 She knows because one of my other friends called her 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:42.800 and went off at her and threatened to gut her 0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:44.320 like a fish. And I was like, all right, all right, 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:47.840 all right, everybody, calm down. I'm just going to you 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:49.839 are now dead to me and I will never speak 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:52.199 to you, or I was gonna say never think of 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:54.960 you again, but obviously I am at this moment. She 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:57.240 did try to reach out a couple times, and I 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:00.439 was like, absolutely the fuck not turn on a read mesage, 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:02.080 made sure that she could see that I read the 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:05.480 message online. Nothing just terrible. 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:06.120 Yeah, she was. 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:08.080 I mean, she was genuinely mad at me for not 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:11.640 celebrating her birthday whilst I was looking for my boyfriend's body. 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:15.640 I hope that she's matured and realized that that was 0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:17.719 fucked up. But also I. 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:19.040 Hope she falls in love and every day here it's 0:10:19.040 --> 0:10:19.400 a feeling. 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:22.319 Oh god, it steps in water in her so. 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:23.480 Nasty New York snow. 0:10:23.679 --> 0:10:23.880 Eh. 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:32.120 Do you think sometimes I think that I've been put 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:34.959 on this earth to teach a lot of people lessons. 0:10:37.160 --> 0:10:39.200 I love to think so highly of myself. I know, 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:45.200 I know, But like you cross me, you can mature 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:49.320 and realize that you fucked up. Okay, But like an 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.800 apology doesn't fix anything at all, So like sometimes you 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:55.240 have to be the person who teaches people lessons. 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:59.080 I okay, maybe maybe everybody in some way is someone 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:03.200 else's karma. I also, you heard me say it the 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:05.840 other day. Something happened here that I can't really talk about, 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:09.000 and people were like, oh, so and so is going 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:11.040 to apologize to you, And what did I say? I 0:11:11.040 --> 0:11:14.320 don't want an apology that does nothing for me, and 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:17.000 I don't want that person to be sorry to me. 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:20.760 An apology is changed behavior. So don't do the thing again. 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:25.000 Just learn and don't do that. And that's my apology. 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:26.640 I don't need you to come say sorry to me 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:29.400 because to your point, eh, yeah, it doesn't really matter. 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:31.520 But I think sorry a lot of times is for 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:33.920 the person saying it. Yeah, it's so that they can 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:37.960 clear their conscience and they can go about their lives like, well, 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:41.280 I did take accountability and I did say sorry. Okay, 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:42.880 it doesn't really do anything for the other person. 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:46.840 Shut up people, you know. Like accountability is another word 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:49.480 that I hate. We were talking about this earlier. I 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:52.839 hate taking up space or holding space. I'm going to 0:11:52.960 --> 0:11:56.440 hold space. I want you to hold space for the 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:59.239 idea that fuck off with these buzzwords. 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:01.319 I hate it pop psychology. 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:09.319 Oh my god, that's a misability. What's another word triggered? 0:12:09.520 --> 0:12:10.080 Fuck off? 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:12.120 Don't I can't. 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:14.800 I can't take it. I get I'm gonna get triggered. Yes, 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:16.959 now you've triggered me with your trigger. 0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:17.400 Thanks. 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:20.400 But like a lot of people use these words and 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:22.560 they don't even really know why they're using them. They 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:24.520 just hear other people use them, and I'm just like, 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:27.640 please with the therapy talk, and like therapy is great. 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:31.320 But like one of the many many downfalls oh the Internet, 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:35.040 because now people have access to pop psychology and they 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:36.920 see a meme and they're just like, yes, that that 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:40.400 is true. So just because you don't like something, or 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:42.080 just because something might have rubbed you the wrong way, 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:44.560 it doesn't mean you're triggered. Come on, yeah, you're not 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:46.880 having like a PTSD collapse on the floor moment. And 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:50.040 if you are based on something small that somebody else does, 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:51.160 you gotta figure that out. 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:51.880 Please. 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:56.880 The amount of kids, and I will say kids maybe 0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:59.960 up to like the age of I don't even know anymore. 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:02.679 I'll just say people, no, twenty five. I think even 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:05.320 people older than twenty five are doing it. They blame 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.920 their parents for everything that's wrong in their life, as 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:13.560 though they had this horrific, like traumatic abusive childhood, when 0:13:13.600 --> 0:13:16.280 in reality, I mean, it took me a while to 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:17.880 figure it out. But your parents are growing up with you. 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:20.439 A lot of people's parents had them when they were 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:23.200 twenty something years old. Do you know what it's like 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:24.760 to be a twenty something year old? We all do 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:26.720 because we were there. And then you have a child 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:28.720 and you have to raise that kid and you're expected 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:31.920 to do everything perfectly or not. You're still growing and 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:35.840 people really need to hold space for their parents having 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.040 made some mistakes. That doesn't mean they were bad parents. 0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:40.400 It doesn't mean you had a traumatic childhood. It just 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:42.680 means that everybody could have learned something from it and 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:45.480 you can move on. But I was watching this video 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:48.400 from a psychologist actually pop psychology again here we go, 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:51.520 where she was talking about this is the new thing 0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:54.040 that everybody wants to say. I don't have X y 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:56.280 Z and it's not my fault. It's because of what 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.199 my parents did to me and I'll never get over it. 0:13:58.559 --> 0:13:59.480 And we see that all the time. 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:01.559 Oh, sure, I know some of those kids. 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:12.559 I know a lot of them. Okay. 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:16.000 I remember someone was telling me a story about their 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:19.880 childhood and I didn't give a reaction and she was like, yeah, 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:21.480 well I'm sure you never had to deal with that. 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:26.040 And I was like, who says who? Like says who? 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:26.640 Oh? 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:29.360 My parents yelled at me so bad when I was 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:33.280 like eight, and I was like, okay, Like parents were 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:37.680 literally walking into our classrooms when I was little, yanking 0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:40.520 their kid out of the seat and beating their asses 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:44.000 in front of us. You got whoopins okay in front 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:48.840 embarrassing getting beat in front of your classroom after the teacher. 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:51.040 We watched the teacher call your parents and then the 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:54.040 parent comes in and responds in real time ten out 0:14:54.040 --> 0:14:58.800 of ten. But like you thinking, yelled at is horrible. 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:03.160 Imagine the embarrassments with that kid. And I was that kid. 0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:06.200 You got you got a spanking in front of people. 0:15:06.240 --> 0:15:08.320 No, no, no, My dad wouldn't spanke me in front 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:10.160 of people, but he would show the fuck up oh 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:12.880 yool embarrassingly all the time to yell at me, and 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:14.800 then I'll get spanked when I went home. So it 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:19.120 was just like and it was always madea dadsy wearing 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:20.000 his suspenders. 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:22.040 I was like, damn it, why does he do wear suspenders? 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:25.840 It wasn't that you were embarrassed that he came there. 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:27.240 You were embarrassing came and suspend. 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:29.800 Yeah, man, people people were used to seeing him like 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:31.960 they knew this one's a little bit of a problem. 0:15:32.000 --> 0:15:34.320 So he's gonna show up all the time. The man 0:15:34.360 --> 0:15:35.640 he had to show up in his suspenders and his 0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:36.400 paper boy eyes. 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:40.720 All stop. Mena your dadsy shut the fuck up? 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:42.480 Could I have been better? 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:42.800 Sure? 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.880 But yes, what you were saying. People used to get 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:46.960 yoked out of their seating. 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:49.080 Yeah, man, the teachers used to let them walk in 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:53.480 and just I mean a woppin', not a whoopin', a woppin', 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:56.800 oh turn out of tin. Lindsey I can't remember her 0:15:56.880 --> 0:16:01.640 last name, did Lindsay? Deserved would have? Absolutely? Lindsay tried 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:03.240 to be a bully, but she couldn't bully me. So 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:05.520 we used to fight all the time. Likes fight, Yeah, 0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:07.320 but it was like kiddie fights, like you know, not 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:09.360 just pull her hair on the playground, yeah, like you 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:12.080 know one time I threw her into a bookshelf because 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:14.880 she just kept fucking okay, like you know. Yeah, I 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:18.080 was a chubby kid. I guess you get popping. Yes, 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:20.600 you were a chubby, jitterbug kid. Yeah, I was round, 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:25.880 wholly in the face round Yeah, listen, and one day 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:28.800 her mom came in, took her hat off and whipped 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:31.080 her with her hat, and I was like, oh, what 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:33.480 kind of hat? It was like a do you know 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:35.240 what a tobargan is? Do they call them that? My 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:39.840 grandmother calls them toboggans, a toboggan basically like Scully, like 0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:43.480 you know Scully, or like a beanie without the little 0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:45.640 ball on the top. Took it off her head. What 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:49.840 loved it? Loved it? And you can't wait to do 0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:53.440 that to other people's children? Yeah, just a little. You know, 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:56.720 I think I would love for my kids to have 0:16:56.800 --> 0:17:00.400 a fear of me ruining their favorite T shirt. So, 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:03.800 like you act up, I'm gonna y if this is 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:06.000 your favorite shirt, you're going to be sick because the 0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:07.680 collar is going to be stretched and there's no way 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:11.760 that we could fix it. Stop. I want you to 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:14.880 think about the things that like, yeah. 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.960 Hm, well not to you know, bring back last week's 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:19.720 episode too much. But for you to have kids, you 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:20.920 might have to make out with someone. 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:21.440 I know. 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:24.800 Okay, we're gonna have to talk about this. Let's do it, 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:25.840 talk about them, okay. 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:30.960 I was very surprised by the reactions from people, really yeah, 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:33.800 I just didn't think that would be a quote unquote 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:34.840 triggering subject. 0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:37.439 I mean, I guess I think the day that we 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:40.240 realized that making out is a means to an end, 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:43.399 we can literally like we'll be more happy and like 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:46.720 able to just move forward with Like it is like 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:51.720 you make out wanting some form of climax and I'm 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:55.560 hoping that everyone gets it right. But like you just 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:58.840 make out to make out. Yeah wait, wait back that up. 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:01.840 Yeah, you only make out in the hopes of getting 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:02.680 lady no. 0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:06.879 But like it's a means no. Like if okay, I'm 0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:08.720 not going I'm not the type of person who's just 0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:11.360 going to make out in a bar with random people, Okay, right, 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.520 but if I'm like getting to know someone, of course 0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:15.879 you're going to make out with them. You got to 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:17.760 test it out. If the makeout is horrible, then you're 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:20.720 done here kind of kind of okay, So it's always 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:23.680