1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:00,720
Speaker 1: This is John.

2
00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,320
Speaker 2: This is your og okay Storytime podcast hosts, and.

3
00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:06,840
Speaker 1: We have some rocking stories for you coming up.

4
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,639
Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

5
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,039
Speaker 2: got a quick cheuming an ad break from a sponsors,

6
00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:13,520
Speaker 2: keeping the show rocking and rolling.

7
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:18,320
Speaker 1: My mother in law bribed me to leave her son alone.

8
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:19,880
Speaker 3: But did she bribe you with?

9
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:24,079
Speaker 4: My boyfriend male thirty six and I female thirty four,

10
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,400
Speaker 4: have been together a little over a year. His parents

11
00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:32,199
Speaker 4: hate me over a gift. I gave a jokey gift

12
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,440
Speaker 4: in a basket of other gifts to mother in law,

13
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,159
Speaker 4: not legally, but it's easier to call her that.

14
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,080
Speaker 1: On Mother's Day. Oo.

15
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:43,760
Speaker 4: She and father in law have been just awful, but

16
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,720
Speaker 4: the siblings in significant others have had my back as

17
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,279
Speaker 4: well as my boyfriend. By the way, this comes from

18
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:53,040
Speaker 4: easier think she's my throwaway and if you want to

19
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,960
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay

20
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,120
Speaker 4: Storytime subreddit.

21
00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:00,360
Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, I'm Riley, and we.

22
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:04,040
Speaker 4: Try to give our best advice, but we haven't experienced

23
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:05,800
Speaker 4: every situation we read about.

24
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,319
Speaker 1: We're not perfect.

25
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:12,800
Speaker 4: If you would do things differently, comment what you would

26
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,800
Speaker 4: do So last night I stepped out to tend my

27
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,280
Speaker 4: garden and had to get some stuff out of my car.

28
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:22,440
Speaker 4: There was a letter on my car op We are

29
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,960
Speaker 4: deeply sorry if we offended you. Please understand that we

30
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,440
Speaker 4: as parents love our children and you have now taken

31
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,560
Speaker 4: all of them from us.

32
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:34,080
Speaker 1: This smear campaign is going overboard. Please do not be cruel.

33
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,880
Speaker 1: And also a check for fifteen thousand dollars.

34
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,959
Speaker 3: What just happened in the story what.

35
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,200
Speaker 4: I showed this to my boyfriend and he took pictures

36
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,240
Speaker 4: and sent it in the sibling group chat. This morning

37
00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,720
Speaker 4: was a blizzard of calls and texts. My boyfriend got

38
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:54,440
Speaker 4: text from his mom and he asked the obvious WTF.

39
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,559
Speaker 4: She said she figured that was a peace offering, as

40
00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:58,920
Speaker 4: she knew I grew up poor.

41
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:04,480
Speaker 5: Oh oh, so that was done with bad intentions.

42
00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,840
Speaker 4: The rest of the talk went something like this. My

43
00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,240
Speaker 4: boyfriend told his mom that she had gone too far.

44
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,440
Speaker 4: He said he was sorry, but this was over the line,

45
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,920
Speaker 4: and told her that we were no contact now and

46
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,959
Speaker 4: that she was not to contact us, not to come

47
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,040
Speaker 4: onto our property, and not to come near us.

48
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,040
Speaker 1: He told her to just stop.

49
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,280
Speaker 4: His mother replied that she only wanted to protect him,

50
00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:30,160
Speaker 4: but if he wanted to be stubborn, then so be it.

51
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,520
Speaker 4: She told him he could keep me if that was

52
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,720
Speaker 4: what he wanted, but warned him not to lose them.

53
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,560
Speaker 4: She reminded him that they were his parents and that

54
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,480
Speaker 4: they loved him, and that while I could leave him

55
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,600
Speaker 4: at any time, parents never abandoned their children.

56
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,440
Speaker 5: They just pay other people to abandon them.

57
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:51,520
Speaker 1: The cerently you just threatened him that he would lose you.

58
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, they're not. They're not making sense at all.

59
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,840
Speaker 5: This is all over a gift in a basket.

60
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,400
Speaker 1: We don't even know what it was, and from this

61
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:01,600
Speaker 1: like probably.

62
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,520
Speaker 5: A cheap gift, like a cheap silly like.

63
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,920
Speaker 4: Ha ha ha, a silly he ha hahuh gift a

64
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:10,800
Speaker 4: little te So. My boyfriend told her that if she

65
00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:14,760
Speaker 4: truly loved him, she would have accepted the person he loves.

66
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,639
Speaker 4: He said he knew very well she didn't like me,

67
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,639
Speaker 4: because she had made that very clear. She answered by

68
00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:24,040
Speaker 4: saying I was no good, but admitted it wasn't her choice.

69
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,800
Speaker 4: She told me he had to make his own mistakes.

70
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,720
Speaker 4: She sent a wall of text why I am not

71
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,840
Speaker 4: good for him? The very apparent reasons of me being

72
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,880
Speaker 4: queer and not religious. Were there, but here are my

73
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:39,440
Speaker 4: favorite other ones. I am thinn, so clearly I must

74
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:45,200
Speaker 4: be on substances my garden, and clearly I am growing substances.

75
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,160
Speaker 4: I am of a particular race, and in certain parts

76
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:52,920
Speaker 4: of town, that race sells substances. Our children will be

77
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:57,080
Speaker 4: sick because I will do substances while pregnant. Oh and

78
00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,160
Speaker 4: I like anime, which means I'm immature. There were more,

79
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:05,120
Speaker 4: but it's just bizarre effing heck advice. It doesn't seem

80
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:08,360
Speaker 4: very bizarre. It feels like they think that you are

81
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:13,760
Speaker 4: on substances, are slang in and sm smoking the Devil's

82
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:14,080
Speaker 4: let us.

83
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,640
Speaker 5: That's crazy, every single reason besides anime.

84
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:21,039
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was.

85
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,599
Speaker 4: About substances, and that's just the ones that they wrote down.

86
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm sure there was more about subs.

87
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,200
Speaker 1: Okay, we have an update, but like we already know

88
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,760
Speaker 1: what I would do. I'm taking that.

89
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:34,680
Speaker 3: I'm taking the fifteen K.

90
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:35,679
Speaker 1: I'm going no contact.

91
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,360
Speaker 4: I take the fifteen K, and I go, uh, let

92
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,400
Speaker 4: me know, when you wake up out of your stupor

93
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,560
Speaker 4: and you come to your senses and realize the way

94
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:47,039
Speaker 4: you talked about my partner, it's unacceptable.

95
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:54,680
Speaker 5: I am probably questionably not taking the money, but definitely not.

96
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:57,680
Speaker 4: Talking to them atter like principle or like fear that

97
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:58,640
Speaker 4: they'll retaliate.

98
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,960
Speaker 5: More so, like even though they were like terrible to me,

99
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:07,200
Speaker 5: I wouldn't like, I just wouldn't want their money. I

100
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:07,640
Speaker 5: don't know.

101
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's my money. Once it's mine, say it used

102
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:11,840
Speaker 1: to be your money.

103
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,520
Speaker 5: The way that it came from. And potential retaliation, not

104
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,440
Speaker 5: that I think that they could retaliate against that. It

105
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,560
Speaker 5: would just be like another stress and another headache that

106
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,120
Speaker 5: I'd just be like, oh my god, I don't want

107
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,360
Speaker 5: to I if my partner wanted to cash it, sure, yeah,

108
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,880
Speaker 5: he can take me on a vacation with it, but

109
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,200
Speaker 5: nothing that I'm personally not putting it in my bank.

110
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,560
Speaker 1: He can put it in his bank. Well, he can't

111
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,479
Speaker 1: put it in his bank. It's got your name on it.

112
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,240
Speaker 5: Maybe it has both their names on it. You don't know,

113
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,479
Speaker 5: breakup money, yeah, okay, yeah, I don't know. I don't

114
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:42,720
Speaker 5: know that I could put it in my account.

115
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:43,560
Speaker 1: Okay.

116
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:48,800
Speaker 4: Update, So for those who followed my previous post, there's more.

117
00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:53,200
Speaker 4: It is now September, and for a while things had

118
00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:56,919
Speaker 4: actually calmed down I was relaxing, and we as a

119
00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:00,760
Speaker 4: family minus Ben's parents, still got together and stayed in touch.

120
00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:04,919
Speaker 4: After everyone, all the siblings plus their spouses collectively bowed

121
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,799
Speaker 4: out of mother in law's birthday in August, my boyfriend

122
00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,599
Speaker 4: Ben Mail thirty six, blocked her number for the day

123
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:14,520
Speaker 4: because of the onslaught of woe is Me messages and voicemails.

124
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,920
Speaker 4: I wasn't involved, and frankly, it seemed to overwhelm him. Then,

125
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,040
Speaker 4: not long after, father in law reached out on his

126
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:24,320
Speaker 4: own and offered a real apology to me directly. He

127
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,400
Speaker 4: said he missed his kids, especially Ben, and didn't try

128
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,479
Speaker 4: to excuse mother in law's behavior anymore. I respected that.

129
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,400
Speaker 4: He seemed very sad and sincere, and he's been slowly

130
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:38,159
Speaker 4: getting back into the family. He's mostly quiet, but verbally

131
00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,520
Speaker 4: kind and thoughtful. He didn't tell mother in law about

132
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,520
Speaker 4: any of this, which becomes relevant.

133
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,640
Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah.

134
00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,360
Speaker 4: Once mother in law realized father in law was seeing

135
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,760
Speaker 4: everyone behind her back, she paned. She sent me an

136
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:56,919
Speaker 4: Instagram DM. Yes really, and that alone was shocking because

137
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,919
Speaker 4: this woman barely knows how to work her iPhone, let

138
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,320
Speaker 4: alone Instagram. The message was long, but not an apology

139
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,720
Speaker 4: more of an I'm sorry you feel that way, dressed

140
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:10,080
Speaker 4: in guilt sprinkles and vague sadness. I wasn't going to respond,

141
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:13,240
Speaker 4: but she begged Ben and eventually asked to meet in

142
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,040
Speaker 4: person to offer a real apology.

143
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,240
Speaker 1: Well, if you can't write one, how am I gonna

144
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,600
Speaker 1: think you can say one?

145
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,800
Speaker 5: I feel like she's just using the like I want

146
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,720
Speaker 5: to do it face to face kind of thing.

147
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, I'm not buying it.

148
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:31,080
Speaker 4: So last Friday we met with her, and I'm going

149
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:35,280
Speaker 4: to be real with y'all. She cried, not big sobs,

150
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,560
Speaker 4: but quiet tears. She was clearly trying to hold back.

151
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,960
Speaker 4: She apologized for her attitude in words and said she

152
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,640
Speaker 4: didn't want to be estranged from the family anymore. Honestly,

153
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,640
Speaker 4: I felt like a bully, which is crazy because she

154
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:52,760
Speaker 4: believes you just calls you poor. Yeah she's doing She's

155
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:56,880
Speaker 4: perfectly manipulating you right now. She seemed so small and broken,

156
00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:00,200
Speaker 4: and I thought, what if she really is trying? So

157
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,480
Speaker 4: I checked in with the sibling group chat and asked

158
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,640
Speaker 4: what they thought. Every single one of them said the

159
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,600
Speaker 4: same thing. If I'm okay with it, she can be

160
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:10,840
Speaker 4: invited to the Labor Day barbecue we were hosting in

161
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,320
Speaker 4: our place, so.

162
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:13,160
Speaker 1: I invited her.

163
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, I don't need to be told how

164
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:20,600
Speaker 4: much of a moron I am. The barbecue went fine,

165
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:24,920
Speaker 4: everyone got along, Mother in law stayed polite. Nothing dramatic happened,

166
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,640
Speaker 4: and honestly, it was a good time. The whole family

167
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,200
Speaker 4: was back together, and despite it being a little awkward,

168
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,920
Speaker 4: everyone was sweet to one another. I loved it, and

169
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,679
Speaker 4: Ben was cautiously happy. But this morning, the day after,

170
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,400
Speaker 4: I got a text from Ben as I was about

171
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,400
Speaker 4: to start cleaning up. I had taken paid time off

172
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,200
Speaker 4: today to recover from hosting, he said, Mother in law

173
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,440
Speaker 4: texted him saying she couldn't find her loops. You know

174
00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:54,520
Speaker 4: those noise canceling earplugs. They're pretty pricey. She didn't accuse

175
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,719
Speaker 4: me outright, but said something like, I don't want to

176
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,040
Speaker 4: assume anything.

177
00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:00,000
Speaker 1: But I'm just confused.

178
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,760
Speaker 4: I know mine were pink, and I saw pink ones

179
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,480
Speaker 4: out in the open yesterday. Oh my god, I'm hoping

180
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:10,080
Speaker 4: they just got misplaced and OPI didn't want to replace

181
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,160
Speaker 4: hers with mine.

182
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,319
Speaker 5: Wow, you didn't last very long, mother in law.

183
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:15,480
Speaker 1: Mm mmmm.

184
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,080
Speaker 4: Then she added that she was willing to buy me

185
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:22,800
Speaker 4: replacements of my own if I returned hers. Now here

186
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,960
Speaker 4: is the cherry on top. Ben bought her a pink

187
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,560
Speaker 4: pear and me a purple pear. Earlier this year, he

188
00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:33,880
Speaker 4: remembered her saying she didn't like loud spaces, and I

189
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,720
Speaker 4: get over stimulated easily at work and went out. We

190
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:41,480
Speaker 4: had separate colors. I didn't even wear mine yesterday, as

191
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,800
Speaker 4: I mentioned to everyone that I couldn't find where in

192
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:48,319
Speaker 4: the house I had misplaced mine. I later found mine

193
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:52,360
Speaker 4: in my jacket pockets. I immediately started cleaning and checking,

194
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,479
Speaker 4: and lo and behold, her loops were in their original

195
00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:58,640
Speaker 4: case on the bathroom ottoman, right next to the sink

196
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:03,199
Speaker 4: where she'd left her She left them full stop.

197
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, I could have guessed that one.

198
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:10,680
Speaker 4: But now I'm pissed. I feel bad that I am,

199
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:14,160
Speaker 4: but I am. I'm not sad. I'm just pissed, not

200
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,000
Speaker 4: because she misplaced something, but because she implied I may

201
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,240
Speaker 4: have taken them in my own house. After I welcomed

202
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,400
Speaker 4: her back. Yeah yeah, Ben texted her and let her

203
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,440
Speaker 4: know we found them. He didn't engage beyond that, and

204
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:32,880
Speaker 4: she didn't respond. No apologies, no oops, just silence. Now

205
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:36,360
Speaker 4: I feel gross. I let her back in, I hosted,

206
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,079
Speaker 4: and I forgave, and the first thing she does is

207
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,640
Speaker 4: try to quietly stir doubt about me again. Get the

208
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,720
Speaker 4: f out of here, dude. Ben is working and running errands,

209
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,080
Speaker 4: and I'm glad of that because I need the space

210
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,559
Speaker 4: to burn through my anger and focus on cleaning and housework.

211
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,960
Speaker 4: But this is so frustrating. And there's a second update.

212
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,480
Speaker 3: Oh god, she's terrible.

213
00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:02,240
Speaker 5: She's the worst. I'm like, yeah, you gave her the

214
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:06,760
Speaker 5: chance after her sad little apology, and she ruined it.

215
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:10,319
Speaker 5: The very first time she was back in your house.

216
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:15,439
Speaker 1: The very first opportunity she has. Yes, she did it, Yep,

217
00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:15,920
Speaker 1: she did.

218
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:19,240
Speaker 5: She tried to say that you stole something. She planted

219
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,199
Speaker 5: her own headphones in your bathroom to be like, oh

220
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,400
Speaker 5: my god, she stole them.

221
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,480
Speaker 4: It's just crazy to be like, if she gives me

222
00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:29,280
Speaker 4: back mine, I'll buy her a new pair because she's

223
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:29,920
Speaker 4: so poor.

224
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:35,360
Speaker 1: Just buy yourself that same thing. Uh yeah, mm hmmm

225
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,280
Speaker 1: mmmmm mmmm mmm. Update number two.

226
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,439
Speaker 4: So Ben came home last night and I took the

227
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,360
Speaker 4: liberty of cooking dinner, which was funny because he had

228
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,040
Speaker 4: takeout from my favorite place.

229
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,240
Speaker 1: We both looked at each other like uh oh, we

230
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,160
Speaker 1: knew it was serious.

231
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,319
Speaker 4: We sat down and started in on both meals buffet

232
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,520
Speaker 4: style and started talking. Thankfully, we were both on the

233
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,800
Speaker 4: same page. It broke his heart, but he just can't

234
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,760
Speaker 4: give her and he also doesn't trust her, and I

235
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,559
Speaker 4: felt the same. We cried because Ben had been on

236
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,120
Speaker 4: the fence about a new job opportunity. It's not in

237
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,160
Speaker 4: the bag, but he didn't know whether to throw his

238
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,800
Speaker 4: hat into the ring. It won't take us too far,

239
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,719
Speaker 4: but far enough, and he hesitated to be that far

240
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,360
Speaker 4: from his aging parents. We would move together and possibly

241
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,439
Speaker 4: look at getting engaged in the next year or so.

242
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,000
Speaker 4: We want a long engagement, so that would be perfect

243
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,480
Speaker 4: if he got the higher paying job, and we could

244
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,640
Speaker 4: really start saving for the wedding and honeymoon. On that note,

245
00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:34,160
Speaker 4: I looked at him and point blank asked, so she

246
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,800
Speaker 4: would end up being invited? He paused, but then suggested

247
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,200
Speaker 4: a small dinner with family. If she's reformed by then,

248
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:44,800
Speaker 4: we're talking a year at least into the future, maybe

249
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,679
Speaker 4: she could go to that, but she would have to

250
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,839
Speaker 4: prove to me she can be trusted enough to go

251
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,439
Speaker 4: to the wedding. She is his mother, and he hates

252
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,280
Speaker 4: to hurt her, but he knows it would hurt me

253
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,480
Speaker 4: more to have her duplicity ruin our wedding, So it

254
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,719
Speaker 4: is what it is. He's not taking any of it

255
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:04,000
Speaker 4: life lately, but he's determined, and I believe him. He's

256
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,040
Speaker 4: also angry and hurt due to her behavior. As for

257
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,079
Speaker 4: the here and now, her things will be mailed with

258
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,840
Speaker 4: a letter we both wrote together. The letter outlines all

259
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,400
Speaker 4: her behavior and that Ben and I are a team

260
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:19,520
Speaker 4: and operate as such. It explains that she is responsible

261
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:23,120
Speaker 4: for her actions and what they cause, and this time

262
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:27,400
Speaker 4: it caused such distrust and harm that she is back

263
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,880
Speaker 4: in time out. She is to be no contact with

264
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:36,160
Speaker 4: me entirely, and extremely low contact with Ben. He won't

265
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:40,480
Speaker 4: respond to her directly, only via text, and only as necessary.

266
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,720
Speaker 4: Health and life updates go through his brother, who volunteered,

267
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:48,120
Speaker 4: who will share with everyone else emergency is notwithstanding. She

268
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,480
Speaker 4: is not to contact us at all. Ben will not

269
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,800
Speaker 4: be reaching out or updating her. She is to refer

270
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,800
Speaker 4: inquiries to the brother, who will only share what we

271
00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,959
Speaker 4: explicitly say he can. He is not even to so

272
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:05,040
Speaker 4: much as refer to me at all. She's entirely blocked anyway.

273
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,800
Speaker 4: She's not to show up at my door or work

274
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,960
Speaker 4: or anything like that. If we are to cross paths

275
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,480
Speaker 4: in public, we will be polite but will not engage,

276
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,560
Speaker 4: and she is expected to do the same. Ben loves

277
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,840
Speaker 4: her and is saddened by her behavior and confused as

278
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,320
Speaker 4: to why, but he no longer wishes to give her

279
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:28,160
Speaker 4: any additional chances beyond honoring our wishes. We typed and

280
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,120
Speaker 4: printed the letter and will email it as well tomorrow,

281
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,440
Speaker 4: just for the sake of a paper trail. The siblings

282
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,760
Speaker 4: and significant others are all in agreement of similar, if

283
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:42,040
Speaker 4: not identical standards, not just because of me, but because

284
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,720
Speaker 4: the more it's discussed, the more everyone is realizing. She

285
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,920
Speaker 4: is actually baited and just was extremely subtle about it

286
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:51,680
Speaker 4: until I came along. Everyone is disgusted, except for the brother,

287
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,400
Speaker 4: who will remain in contact, but he has the medical

288
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,400
Speaker 4: training and info to help the parents and thus is

289
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:01,000
Speaker 4: the contact person. He's okay with the arrangement and in

290
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:05,160
Speaker 4: fact volunteered. Mother in law is ill but not terminal

291
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,920
Speaker 4: or anything of that nature, and father in law helps

292
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:08,680
Speaker 4: her manage, but.

293
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,280
Speaker 1: He's older, so they relied on the kids.

294
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,720
Speaker 4: Now they just have limited availability with the one son

295
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,600
Speaker 4: father in law, so far as in the clear. He

296
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,480
Speaker 4: didn't know about mother in law accusing me until Ben asked,

297
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,720
Speaker 4: and father in law apologized a lot and even extended

298
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,680
Speaker 4: the apology to me. In a text chat with me

299
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,440
Speaker 4: and Ben both in it, he explained that he truly

300
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:32,360
Speaker 4: hoped she got forgetful, but the accusation was over the line.

301
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,360
Speaker 4: He even asked if she had everything when they left,

302
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,280
Speaker 4: and she said she did. She had her wallet and

303
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:41,320
Speaker 4: house keys, so he thought he misremembered and that was

304
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:42,560
Speaker 4: all she had brought to my place.

305
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,040
Speaker 1: I think this was the right call. Yeah.

306
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,720
Speaker 5: I feel like everything that you guys talked about you

307
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,480
Speaker 5: sounded on the same page, and he was down. Moving

308
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,920
Speaker 5: away would be like a cool start. I feel like

309
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:58,520
Speaker 5: the whole wedding thing if if she can prove that

310
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,640
Speaker 5: she's cooler in the future, somehow you still put like

311
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,600
Speaker 5: the coolest of his siblings on like mother in law

312
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:11,360
Speaker 5: duty and the second that she does like anything like

313
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,200
Speaker 5: I'm not even I don't even know that she gets.

314
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,480
Speaker 5: Oh she gets a pre wedding warning like you do

315
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:16,200
Speaker 5: one thing, you're out.

316
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean maybe even put father in law on

317
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,280
Speaker 4: there because he seems like maybe father in.

318
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,400
Speaker 5: Law thinking father in law. I think father in law

319
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:24,800
Speaker 5: for sure, but I think there should still be a

320
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,200
Speaker 5: sibling that's willing to enforce. Yeah. I don't know if

321
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,720
Speaker 5: father in law is going to her out if that

322
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:32,560
Speaker 5: means that he has to leave with her, true, if

323
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,840
Speaker 5: it means he might be able to stay.

324
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:34,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like, who knows.

325
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:39,440
Speaker 4: There's time for her to make amends and change and

326
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:44,760
Speaker 4: apologize and make progress, but seems.

327
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,600
Speaker 1: Like a stubborn goat.

328
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,920
Speaker 5: So disgusting.

329
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:53,600
Speaker 4: I am tired and back to work today. Ben left

330
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,560
Speaker 4: the box for his mom in an overnight delivery yesterday.

331
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,960
Speaker 4: I feel awful, but thankful he and the majority of

332
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,240
Speaker 4: the family are on my side. Ben's aunt has been

333
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:07,360
Speaker 4: pestering him to show respect and properly love his mother,

334
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:11,159
Speaker 4: as has her husband and some cousins, but so far

335
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,800
Speaker 4: he hasn't cared and they only contact him.

336
00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:15,240
Speaker 1: That's it. I guess.

337
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,240
Speaker 4: I think the saga is otherwise over unless she burns

338
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,920
Speaker 4: my house down or something crazy, and I think she

339
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:26,199
Speaker 4: is simply too lazy for that level of insanity. Hopefully

340
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:29,760
Speaker 4: Ben gets the job, but if not, I'm still applying elsewhere.

341
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,760
Speaker 4: As well for higher pay, and we've agreed we will

342
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,240
Speaker 4: move based on pay.

343
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,679
Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story.

344
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,040
Speaker 5: My sister in law demanded her children be at my wedding,

345
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:42,640
Speaker 5: but I don't want them there.

346
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,520
Speaker 1: Get those kids out of my sight. I.

347
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,880
Speaker 5: Thirty two female, and my future husband, thirty four male,

348
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,640
Speaker 5: are getting married in four months. My sister in law,

349
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,560
Speaker 5: Amy has twin girls that will be twelve months old

350
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,680
Speaker 5: and a six year old son. So a year old

351
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,439
Speaker 5: and the six year old son. Yeah, by the way,

352
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,280
Speaker 5: this comes from Everlasting Sunshine. And if you want us

353
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 5: to make your own stories, go to the r slash

354
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,240
Speaker 5: Okay storytime subreddit.

355
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:13,600
Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, I'm keon Oh, and we'll try

356
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 1: to give our best advice.

357
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,840
Speaker 5: But we haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves, so

358
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:21,280
Speaker 5: if you have, let us know your take in the comments.

359
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:25,280
Speaker 5: And Opie says, prior to the twins being born, I

360
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,680
Speaker 5: had a conversation with Amy where she said to me

361
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,120
Speaker 5: she was looking forward to knowing at the twelve month

362
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,680
Speaker 5: mark there would be a child free evening where she

363
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 5: could let loose and she didn't want her kids there.

364
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,800
Speaker 5: I said that we would love to have our six

365
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 5: year old as the flower boy, and we agreed that

366
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,720
Speaker 5: he would be part of the ceremony and then be

367
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:49,399
Speaker 5: driven the short distance home to join his sisters with

368
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:53,960
Speaker 5: a babysitter during the reception. Fast forward to now, Amy

369
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,720
Speaker 5: is shopping for dresses for the twins for the wedding day.

370
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,000
Speaker 5: I was confused to hear about it and asked why

371
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 5: Amy seems to have forgotten our conversation and wants her

372
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 5: twins at the wedding. I've been gentle, but I have

373
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 5: said that it was only the six year old that

374
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,000
Speaker 5: was planned to be there, and I wasn't too keen

375
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 5: on the younger kids being there. Mother in law and

376
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 5: sister in law are upset with my future husband and

377
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,399
Speaker 5: I about this decision. Mother in law has pushed for

378
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,200
Speaker 5: the whole family to be in the photographer's family portraits

379
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 5: on the day, as the whole family will be together

380
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,439
Speaker 5: and dressed nice. Sister in law has said, your family

381
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,680
Speaker 5: deserves to be at your wedding and has also said

382
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,960
Speaker 5: she doesn't want the six year old to be attending

383
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 5: events without the twins because he has trouble adjusting to

384
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:49,960
Speaker 5: them and is always asking to leave them behind. That

385
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,160
Speaker 5: six year old's like, I don't want my siblings there.

386
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, ew gross snow IW.

387
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,399
Speaker 5: Sister in law doesn't want to encourage that behavior by

388
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:04,600
Speaker 5: having him attend anything without them, and so she has

389
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,840
Speaker 5: said that either all her kids come or none will.

390
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,720
Speaker 5: This conversation was tense, and I am very conflict avoidant.

391
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 5: I left it there unresolved. Future husband doesn't want the

392
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,200
Speaker 5: twins there, as they do summon a considerable amount of

393
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:24,000
Speaker 5: attention and he wants people focused on us. I don't

394
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 5: really care if they are there or not, but I

395
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,720
Speaker 5: do feel like I've been dismissed by sister in law

396
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,879
Speaker 5: and mother in law, and they've tried to change plans

397
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,640
Speaker 5: without letting me know, and then tried to guilt trip

398
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 5: me when I called it out. Now it kind of

399
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 5: feels like an ultimatum is being set, and the whole

400
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 5: attitude around it has me wanting to put my foot

401
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 5: down and push back. My future husband and I have

402
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,200
Speaker 5: offered up some compromises. We are having a gathering with

403
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 5: all the same people the night before the wedding, and

404
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 5: all their side of the family will be around for

405
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 5: the morning after the wedding, where the twins would be

406
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,600
Speaker 5: welcomed there and we would be able to get some

407
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 5: great photos and have time together, but we would still

408
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 5: have our wedding be child free with the exception of

409
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 5: flower boy. But this was just completely dismissed. I just

410
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 5: want to know if I'm overreacting by saying they can't attend.

411
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,400
Speaker 5: You have some relevant comments, straight up.

412
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 1: Always the same answer, It is your wedding. Yeah, your wedding,

413
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:22,679
Speaker 1: your rules.

414
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,919
Speaker 5: The issue that they're having here though, is that they

415
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 5: will be down a flower boy if the twins can't come,

416
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,479
Speaker 5: the six year old's not coming, which is a poopy

417
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 5: get the.

418
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 1: Best man to be the flower funny.

419
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,359
Speaker 6: I feel like if you ask somebody in like already

420
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:39,359
Speaker 6: in the wedding, like best man or somebody else that

421
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 6: you're like you're really close with, that's not a part

422
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 6: of the wedding. Yeah, you can find a replacement. That's not,

423
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 6: you know, that difficult.

424
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 1: There's a reason they give the job to a child.

425
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 1: It is very easy to do. You can find someone

426
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 1: to do that.

427
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:53,640
Speaker 7: Yeah.

428
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,600
Speaker 5: Uh, we have some relevant comments. Comment are one, it's

429
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 5: your wedding, and sister in law and mother in law

430
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,160
Speaker 5: should have been more a respectful about how they approached

431
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:06,240
Speaker 5: you about these concerns. That having been said, I would

432
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 5: gently suggest that you and your fiance may want to

433
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,679
Speaker 5: rethink how you're handling this. It is unusual to invite

434
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,879
Speaker 5: one child and not other siblings, and I don't follow

435
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 5: the concern about twelve month old twins stealing attention from you.

436
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 5: If you hold firm, which is absolutely within your right,

437
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 5: it means there will possibly be lingering, hard feelings with

438
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 5: your sister in law and mother in law going forward,

439
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:34,680
Speaker 5: and that you need to be okay with that. Just

440
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:38,440
Speaker 5: my two cents, and OP responds, Yes, I know it's

441
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 5: weird to invite just one sibling.

442
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 1: Is it that weird?

443
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,200
Speaker 4: When the other siblings are a year old, they're taught,

444
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,640
Speaker 4: they're babies, they're infants?

445
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 5: Basically, yeah, Mike, they're not gonna remember it. The six

446
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 5: year old probably will remember it.

447
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 4: Who even wants to bring infants to a wedding when

448
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,679
Speaker 4: you could have a babysitter?

449
00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 1: H Like, what where is the desire to do that?

450
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 5: That was the whole thing is she was so excited

451
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,400
Speaker 5: about having like not having to have the twins there

452
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 5: the night.

453
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 1: They had talked about it before, and it was like cooling.

454
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:11,160
Speaker 5: To be like no, like the six year old needs

455
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 5: to know his sisters have to come with them, and

456
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 5: it's like okay, but like we can make one exception.

457
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, it just seems like a weird place to start,

458
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,920
Speaker 4: being like we need to teach him to protect his

459
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 4: shipley right.

460
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 5: Uh, yes, I know it's weird to just invite one sibling.

461
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,440
Speaker 5: That's just how the original conversation landed, and it made

462
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,159
Speaker 5: sense at the time. We have a di wife ven

463
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,960
Speaker 5: you and keeping things in budget. We have family and

464
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 5: friends helping out with a few things. Amy's husband was

465
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 5: given the job of dogminder for our large dog. Mother

466
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,399
Speaker 5: in law was to be make the dog the flower

467
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 5: girl and the ring bear. Mother in law was to

468
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 5: be performing as wedding coordinator type role. We feel like

469
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:56,400
Speaker 5: that's a lot to handle. If you're chasing around twins,

470
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 5: it's not so much about stealing any spotlight. It's more

471
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 5: about things running smoothly. Hope that makes a bit more sense,

472
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 5: and commentar two says, hold up, your large dog will

473
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 5: be there and needs a handler. The handler is the

474
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 5: father of the twins. The twins can't attend because they

475
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,640
Speaker 5: will be a distraction, but I think the dog must

476
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 5: also be a distraction that requires a handler. If I

477
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 5: were Amy, I'd be upset that my husband was assigned

478
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 5: dog duty and then we were told our kids weren't welcome.

479
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 5: I just don't think you can ask people to diyatt

480
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 5: for you so you can save money and then also

481
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 5: tell them unpaid labor to pay for a babysitter so

482
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 5: you can have your preferred child free wedding. Sounds to

483
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 5: me like Amy's family is providing a lot flower boy,

484
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 5: dog wrangler and possibly more, and you and your fiance

485
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 5: aren't being very considerate of that. And I don't agree

486
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,719
Speaker 5: with that commenter. I think if they want their dog there,

487
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:49,120
Speaker 5: they can.

488
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 3: Have their dog there.

489
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 5: And that the part that kids that are not yours

490
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:56,120
Speaker 5: can come after your dog because it's your wedding, same.

491
00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 4: Thing, your wedding, your rules, but like also like people

492
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 4: can decide not to come to your wedding based on

493
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 4: your rules.

494
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:05,879
Speaker 1: And also but it's your wedding.

495
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 5: You could make someone else a dog handler if they're willing.

496
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 5: If he needs to watch the twins, I'm sure someone

497
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 5: would be down to chill with the dog on it.

498
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 1: It's me the dog mind eh.

499
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:20,639
Speaker 5: Communda three. I would compromise and agree that, Okay, no

500
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 5: kids whatsoever then and go without a flower boy. I

501
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,680
Speaker 5: almost feel like a six year old little boy would

502
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:29,160
Speaker 5: be just as much of a loud distraction as two

503
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 5: one year old And your entire wedding is child free anyways,

504
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 5: so it would be odd that one single small child

505
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 5: is the exception to that. Just avoid the whole thing

506
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,440
Speaker 5: and leave all the kids out of it. Opie responds, Yes,

507
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 5: I feel like that's a great option. Totally unfair on

508
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,879
Speaker 5: the six year old, though, as he's been told all

509
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 5: about it and he's so excited.

510
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 3: I don't want to do that to the poor kid.

511
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 5: Opie on should she get her fiance to deal with

512
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 5: his mother and sister, Opie says, we are working on

513
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 5: this together. This post is from my perspective for the

514
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 5: purpose of sharing it with him in a moment, and

515
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 5: then Opi responds to a comment on her future husband

516
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 5: wanting time and space to have his parents' full attention

517
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 5: for the wedding and not being distracted by the twins.

518
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,879
Speaker 5: Obi says, you're spot on, future husband and I have

519
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 5: given a lot to his parents so they can be

520
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,880
Speaker 5: around to help with the grandkids. We have had them

521
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 5: living in our home for the past five years because

522
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 5: we live close to sister in law. What that means is,

523
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,959
Speaker 5: for the past five years, every outing event or conversation

524
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 5: has revolved entirely around these three children. It's become quite

525
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 5: difficult for us, and future husband wants one day that's

526
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 5: not about them. There's obviously other reasons too, but this

527
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:51,960
Speaker 5: is for sure a contributing factor. Amandreforre says uh In quotes,

528
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 5: I don't really care if they are there or not.

529
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 5: If you don't really care, then allow them to be

530
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 5: at the ceremony and in the pictures. Then go to

531
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 5: a babysitter for the reception. Ultimately, and years down the road,

532
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 5: you may find that you are happy you have pictures

533
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 5: with all of the family in them. Opie says. This

534
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 5: is the easy option for sure, but it's not just me.

535
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 5: Future husband is passed away set against it. I get

536
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 5: why our lives have all revolved around these kids for

537
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,640
Speaker 5: such a long time. The mother in law and father

538
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,880
Speaker 5: in law have lived with us for the past five

539
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 5: years because we live so close to sister in law

540
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 5: and they want to be around to help. But especially

541
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 5: in the last six months, we've been asking them to

542
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 5: sort out their living plans long term, as we don't

543
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 5: want them with us forever and we are planning starting

544
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 5: our married life, planning our own family, and there's a

545
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 5: lot on hold waiting for them to leave. The twins

546
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:49,919
Speaker 5: are their excuse to stay while paying no rent, no groceries,

547
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 5: and no bills. But the twins need us, It's true,

548
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 5: but it's also made future husband resentful and me a

549
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 5: bit too. Future husband wants a day that doesn't revolve

550
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 5: around them. They have an update. Yeah, yeah, I feel

551
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 5: like the husband needs to tell this to his family, which.

552
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's about to do it.

553
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 5: I gotta do it, but it sounds like he's the

554
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 5: one that's way more said against it. So I feel

555
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,879
Speaker 5: like coming from him, maybe the family will actually be like, okay,

556
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 5: like we maybe they'll.

557
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:19,640
Speaker 3: Hear him more.

558
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 1: I would certainly hope.

559
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 5: So as their direct family, I don't know, right, got to.

560
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 8: Use those words.

561
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: Gotta use them. You're the relevant party, you gotta use

562
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 1: your words.

563
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 5: They have an update a bit over one month later,

564
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,439
Speaker 5: So future husband and I were invited to the twins'

565
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 5: first birthday this week. As much as I knew this

566
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 5: was not the right time or place to have a

567
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 5: discussion about a tense topic involving the exclusion of these

568
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 5: two babies. It came up context. One week ago, future

569
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 5: husband spoke to his brother in law, who is the

570
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 5: father of the twins, and again said that the babies

571
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 5: were not invited to the wedding. I wasn't there and

572
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 5: don't have further context on how this came up or

573
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 5: how the conversation was handled and received. When we were

574
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 5: around the dinner table for the birthday get together, future

575
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 5: husband left the room for one minute. That was the

576
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 5: moment sister in law said to me, I'd like to

577
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 5: check with you about what future husband said about the wedding.

578
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 5: He said, the babies weren't invited to the ceremony or reception.

579
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 1: So is that right?

580
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 5: I said, yeah, that's our plan. This is not news

581
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 5: to her see last post. This has been my stance

582
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 5: since before these kids were born.

583
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 1: I think this should have been not even an issue.

584
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 4: I think it should have been as simple as it's

585
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 4: my wedding, bride and groom saying here's what we want,

586
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 4: here's what we're looking at, here's what we're thinking, and

587
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 4: everyone going all right.

588
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 1: I can either do that or I can't do that.

589
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 5: I agree, you set the options and they are like cool, yeah.

590
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 1: Not to mention they literally agreed to this before all

591
00:29:58,360 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: of this.

592
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 5: This was an option that they were down or well, no,

593
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,719
Speaker 5: they were down for none of them coming or all

594
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 5: of them coming.

595
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,719
Speaker 1: We don't know if at the very beginning they were

596
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 1: okay with it. Yeah, the very beginning it was this

597
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 1: was the plan. Well, yeah, you're not going to bring

598
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 1: one year olds.

599
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, and you were excited about having that night off.

600
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 5: I excused myself shortly after and made myself busy in

601
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 5: another room. Future husband sat at the table and apparently

602
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 5: laid down the law with his family over this and

603
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 5: some other issues. We left shortly after, but before we went,

604
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 5: sister in law said to me, I respect that this

605
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 5: is what you want, but I am really upset. Part

606
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 5: of me feels so guilty that I've upset her. Also

607
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 5: though your husband was the more set one and don't

608
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 5: feel bad, part of me is annoyed and perplexed by

609
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 5: her apparent shock at this information. As if we didn't

610
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 5: have this conversation a month ago. We have some comments

611
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 5: comment or one you really should have said in front

612
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 5: of everyone, like we talked about whatever month Our plan

613
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 5: has been no babies. Drive the six year old home

614
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 5: after the wedding. You said you were looking forward to

615
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 5: a night without the kids. Bet you a dollar. They're

616
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 5: trying to get free fancy family portraits out of the deal.

617
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 5: I'd be tempted to let them and then not give

618
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 5: them the photos of just their family. Oh, we didn't

619
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 5: have the photographer touch up every photo. You can call

620
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 5: them and buy those photos yourself, Opie says. I did

621
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 5: hear her say to future husband something like those photos

622
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 5: are for a lifetime. Her babies being in the photos

623
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 5: has come up several times. I don't understand that these

624
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 5: kids won't feel any attachment to an event that they

625
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 5: don't remember from when they were one exactly.

626
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, stop it.

627
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 5: And what is Opie's plan if her sister in law

628
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 5: shows up to the wedding with the twins? Opie says,

629
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 5: I have a feeling future husband will have dealt with

630
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 5: that before I make my way down the aisle. That's

631
00:31:58,400 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 5: the end of that story.

632
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: That is the end of that Hey, it's Sam. We're

633
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 1: gonna get back to these stories.

634
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 2: But here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that

635
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 2: keep the show alive.

636
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 3: My mother in law made us leave after we took

637
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 3: care of them.

638
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 5: Oh, make them leave.

639
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 3: My twenty nine male fiance twenty six female and I

640
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 3: have been together nearly half a decade. She just donated

641
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 3: part of her liver to her father because he had

642
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 3: end stage liver disease. They were both hospitalized for recovery.

643
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Perfect Stranger ten thirty six,

644
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 3: And if you want to spit your own stories, go

645
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. I'm Sophia,

646
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 3: I'm Carly, No, I'm Keon, and we'll try to give

647
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 3: our best advice. But we haven't experienced most of these

648
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 3: situations ourselves, so if you have, let us know what

649
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 3: you would do. In the comments, and Opie says, as

650
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 3: part of the preparation for the procedures, we made arrangements

651
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 3: that I would be staying at her parents place with

652
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 3: her mom, who's fifty nine ish years old, to make

653
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,240
Speaker 3: sure her mom wasn't alone, and to drive her back

654
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 3: and forth from the hospital forty five minutes to one

655
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 3: hour each way. I had no problem with that. I

656
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 3: was more than happy to do it if it meant

657
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 3: my fiance and my father in law were at ease,

658
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 3: but I knew her mom wasn't the easiest person to

659
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 3: deal with some history. In the early stages of our relationship,

660
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 3: my then girlfriend argued with her mom and asked if

661
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 3: she could come over because she was fighting with her mom.

662
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 3: While she was on route to us, her mom called

663
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 3: my mom and threatened to call the cops if we

664
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 3: let her in the house. Mind you, my girlfriend was

665
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 3: twenty two at this point. Her mom then began to

666
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 3: insult my mom's way of raising me and my sister's.

667
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 3: My mom fire back with my daughters, aren't the ones

668
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 3: running away from home because they can't stand me. That year,

669
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 3: I gave her mom and dad the silent treatment for

670
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 3: disrespecting my mom and my family. A lot of momses,

671
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 3: a lot of mom drama. My girlfriend asked if I

672
00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 3: could ever forgive her, and I said no. Eventually I

673
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 3: did because it was important to her. You don't stick

674
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 3: to your word, Oh pie, I didn't think I could

675
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 3: ever forgive her. I forgave her, I did. My girlfriend

676
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 3: told me too, but did Anyway? Years later, I've learned

677
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 3: her mom is quite a piece of work. Didn't you

678
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 3: know that not a day goes by round her where

679
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:23,320
Speaker 3: someone doesn't say something that she finds insulting and she

680
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 3: snaps at them. We're in the elevator headed to fiance.

681
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,319
Speaker 3: Mother in law decided to see father in law, who's

682
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:32,840
Speaker 3: still on a lower floor in SICU. I asked her

683
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 3: if she wanted me to accompany her. She said, now,

684
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 3: I know how to get around. I said, okay, you sure,

685
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 3: because you seem a little lost earlier. Her response, yes,

686
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:47,240
Speaker 3: you think I'm stupid. I know how to speak English.

687
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 3: I could ask somebody if I need to. You then

688
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 3: addressed the random person in the elevator with us to

689
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 3: approve her point. Apparently I had implied she didn't know

690
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 3: how to speak English or ask for directions. She decided

691
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 3: to drive the last day because she wanted to get

692
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 3: used to doing it when I went back to work.

693
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 3: We arrived at the hospital and she nearly made a

694
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 3: left turn to enter the exit of the valet parking

695
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 3: lane on a two lane high traffic street. I had

696
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 3: to frantically say no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

697
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 3: please stop. She pulled into a spot perfectly, no adjustment needed.

698
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,440
Speaker 3: She then kept driving to adjust as if she were

699
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 3: parallel parking. I said, hey, it's Okay, you don't need

700
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 3: to do that. You just put the car in park.

701
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 7: Her.

702
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,040
Speaker 3: I know I had a drive. After three to four

703
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,400
Speaker 3: straight days of her throwing digs at me and others,

704
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 3: I had enough. I told her clearly not since she

705
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,399
Speaker 3: almost went into the only part that says do not enter,

706
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,760
Speaker 3: and I got out of the car. I'll take responsibility

707
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 3: for adding fuel to the fire. Father in law is

708
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 3: the recipient of the liver. He is a mutal compromise presently,

709
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 3: and it is dangerous for him to get sick. We

710
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,400
Speaker 3: got to the floor where their rooms are and went

711
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 3: to my fiance's room first. My fiance wanted to walk

712
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 3: to her dad's room, which was right. He was feeling

713
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,839
Speaker 3: marginally better and actually wanted to get up and walk

714
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 3: across the hall to him.

715
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 1: We did that.

716
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,920
Speaker 3: Right before we entered his room, a nurse was sitting

717
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:11,840
Speaker 3: outside entering some info into a monitor in terminal.

718
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:13,319
Speaker 8: Let us know we.

719
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 3: Needed masks, makes sense. She handed me a box and

720
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 3: I took out a few and distributed them to my

721
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 3: fiance and her mom. Fiance and I put on masks

722
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 3: about to enter. Then we heard excuse me, you have

723
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 3: to put on the mask. We turn around, Mom still

724
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 3: hadn't put on a mask. Mom, I didn't put it

725
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,279
Speaker 3: on because you, the lady sitting outside the room doing

726
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 3: her own thing on the terminal, didn't have a mask on.

727
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 1: So why should I?

728
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:45,280
Speaker 5: Cause you're going into the room with your sick husband.

729
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:47,840
Speaker 3: Do you not like your husband?

730
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 5: I don't think so.

731
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 8: I don't know.

732
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:51,320
Speaker 3: Do you not like your husband?

733
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 6: She sounds like just rules are meant to be broken,

734
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 6: like do not enter? Good to break that rule? I

735
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 6: need to wear a mask good to break that rule.

736
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, you can't tell me what to do driving in

737
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 5: the one way I can do that.

738
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:04,439
Speaker 3: I can do whatever I want.

739
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 2: Mumm.

740
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 3: I told her in Spanish that she needed to put

741
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 3: the mask on. My Spanish comes out every now and then.

742
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 3: It's not purposely done to imply she can't speak English.

743
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:18,319
Speaker 3: But regardless. A male nurse walked by, who obviously heard

744
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 3: me speaking Spanish to her, and spoke to the mother

745
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:25,399
Speaker 3: in law in Spanish, communicating the reasoning her cuts him off.

746
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,320
Speaker 3: You could speak to me in English. He was stuck

747
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 3: because he didn't know he had just insulted her. For

748
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 3: her to react like that, To be fair, most people don't.

749
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,760
Speaker 3: Mother in law was born in a Spanish speaking country.

750
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 3: She moved to the US and learned English. She speaks

751
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:43,280
Speaker 3: English well, but there are still times where she mispronounces words,

752
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 3: and she has an accent that makes it pretty obvious

753
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 3: English isn't her first language anyway. Anytime anyone that is

754
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:53,359
Speaker 3: also bilingual speaks Spanish to her, she takes it as

755
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 3: an insult. That is, I mean, like, okay, I get,

756
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:00,120
Speaker 3: I get kind of where she's coming from.

757
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 5: That, but like I get if, like the conversation had

758
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 5: before then not at all in Spanish. Yeah, maybe being

759
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 5: like why did you switch to Spanish suddenly? But like

760
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 5: you already given him sass about the mask, like it's

761
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 5: for your safety to wear a mask going to your

762
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 5: very immuno compromised husband's hospital.

763
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:25,920
Speaker 3: Literally, the male nurse was shocked. I signaled to him

764
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 3: that it was okay, it wasn't him. Mother in law

765
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:31,919
Speaker 3: finally put on the mask and we went into father

766
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 3: in law's room. Two point five seconds in, she yanked

767
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 3: the mask down underneath her chin and stood by father

768
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 3: in law's bedside. Mo'm beaing, I don't need to wear

769
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:44,240
Speaker 3: a mask. I didn't wear one yesterday. Well you probably

770
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:48,400
Speaker 3: should have. You probably should have worn one yesterday, Beyonce,

771
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 3: and I told her she needed to wear one because

772
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 3: he could pass away. If he passes away, my fiance's

773
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 3: gift part of her liver to her father, and all

774
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 3: this pain and suffering would have been for nothing. She exclaimed,

775
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 3: she didn't care what a woman, what a person. And

776
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 3: then and then at that point, honestly, I go get

777
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,719
Speaker 3: a nurse. I'm like, hey, can you just kick my

778
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 3: mom or my mom and just leave? Just hit her

779
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 3: out of here. We were back in fiance's hospital room.

780
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 3: We needed to order a mini fridge for when fiance

781
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 3: and father in law got discharged and went to stay

782
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 3: at mother in law's house. Mother in law attempted to

783
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 3: order and try to show fiance some options. Fyance didn't

784
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 3: want to look at anything. She was nauseous after the

785
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 3: surgery and didn't want to talk or look at screens.

786
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 3: She said that her mom could defer to me with

787
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 3: the decision making. Mother in law asked me if I

788
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,880
Speaker 3: had a mask up. But this is where the accent

789
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 3: comes into play. I looked at her, confused because I

790
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 3: had my mask on my face. Then I realized she

791
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:55,399
Speaker 3: was saying Amazon app, and I said, oh, Amazon yes,

792
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:57,800
Speaker 3: She sat down in the corner of the room and

793
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:00,360
Speaker 3: mumbled to herself in Spanish. Of course, I was on

794
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 3: what else could it possibly be? So I apparently her

795
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:07,800
Speaker 3: mispronouncing Amazon and me not understanding, implied that she didn't

796
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 3: know how to speak English. Now we get to the

797
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 3: reason for the post. Mother in law tells me throughout

798
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 3: the day that I can go home once we leave

799
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 3: and get back to her house. But she's been asking

800
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 3: me the last couple of days if I'm staying on

801
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:24,320
Speaker 3: Monday and or Tuesday, and we've been discussing it. Anyway,

802
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 3: she tells me that, and I say, okay. This means

803
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 3: I would drive back forty five minutes with her to

804
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 3: get my car and belongings, then drive another hour and

805
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,320
Speaker 3: fifteen minutes back the way we came from her house

806
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 3: to get to my home and look for street parking

807
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 3: on a Sunday night. Time passed throughout the day and

808
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 3: I realized it was getting late. He lets me know

809
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:45,879
Speaker 3: we'll be leaving soon, and then we visit the father

810
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 3: in law. Somehow, father in law brings up me staying

811
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 3: a little longer, and she says, now it's okay, He's

812
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:56,520
Speaker 3: leaving tonight. I still think it's an option, so I say, actually,

813
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 3: I was thinking of staying tonight too, since I can

814
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:03,399
Speaker 3: work remote tomorrow. And cue the record scratch, No, you're

815
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,240
Speaker 3: leaving tonight. You need to leave my house tonight.

816
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 5: Mom's just a hater.

817
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 1: She's the worst, the problem with everything.

818
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 3: You're literally trying to be there for your fiance and

819
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:16,399
Speaker 3: her dad, and she's like, get out.

820
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 8: I hate you.

821
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,720
Speaker 3: She looks me in the eyes, and I get the message.

822
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 3: She's punting me out. She says this in front of

823
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,880
Speaker 3: father in law, in front of the nurse. I've been

824
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 3: driving this lady back and forth the last four days.

825
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 3: I've held my tongue when she said something slick. The

826
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 3: first three days, I've been embarrassed when she spasses on

827
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:37,440
Speaker 3: people who aren't doing anything wrong. I've joked with her,

828
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 3: comforted her, and held her hand when she was crying

829
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 3: or scared about the surgery. I wake up whenever she

830
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 3: wants to drive her to the hospital. Now she's punting

831
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 3: me out of her home, her home, her rules, no problem.

832
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 3: If only we had left it at that. She didn't

833
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 3: leave it at that though. Right after she says that,

834
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,959
Speaker 3: she tells father in law, I don't know how to drive,

835
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 3: I don't know how to speak English, I don't know

836
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 3: how to do anything. According to him, That's when I

837
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 3: had it. I let her know she was rude and annoying,

838
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 3: that she takes offense to everything. Nobody can ever do

839
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 3: anything right with her, and she acts like she can't

840
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 3: do anything wrong and is smarter than everyone in everything.

841
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:21,840
Speaker 3: Then I left the room. I don't know where I

842
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 3: was headed. I just needed to leave the room and

843
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,920
Speaker 3: get away from her. She proceeds to chase me out

844
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 3: of the room into the hallway and accuses me of

845
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 3: trying to leave her at the hospital and take her

846
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 3: car to her house without her I'm sorry what. She

847
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:40,800
Speaker 3: kicks you out of the house and then is shocked

848
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 3: that you're leaving.

849
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 5: She's like, but you're leaving.

850
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:45,360
Speaker 3: She's like, I'm sorry you still. I mean, you have

851
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 3: to leave, but you also have to pick me up

852
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 3: and draw me off.

853
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 5: You can't stay here, but you have to come back.

854
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm shocked and bewildered. She says, give her her

855
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 3: house keys, my fiance's house keys to her mother in

856
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 3: law's house. I give her the first set of keys

857
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 3: I grab in my pocket, just to shut her up. Oops,

858
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 3: gave her my own apartment keys. Ask for them back

859
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 3: as I hold out the keys she wants, and she

860
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:10,799
Speaker 3: refuses to hold out my keys. She just keeps yelling

861
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 3: give me my house keys at me in the hall.

862
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 3: So I go into my fiance's room so we're not

863
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 3: making a scene in the hall. She keeps yelling, I

864
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 3: give my fiance her keys. To be the mediator. She

865
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 3: gives the keys to her mom and her mom's throws

866
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 3: my keys on the bed and leaves the room to

867
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 3: go to father in law's room. She tells fiance she

868
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 3: doesn't want me in her home ever again. Security guard

869
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 3: came asked what happened, He understands, says he's gotten into

870
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 3: arguments with his lady's mom as well.

871
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 1: Then he leaves, don't you.

872
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:47,319
Speaker 3: I've gotten into hogments with my lady's mom all the time.

873
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: Just go women mother in law. No, just like mother

874
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 1: in law's.

875
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,359
Speaker 3: I tell my fiance that I've had it with her mom.

876
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,439
Speaker 3: Don't ask me to go over to her mom's anymore either.

877
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:03,840
Speaker 3: Her mind is gone to me, she says. If she

878
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 3: has gone to you, she's gone to me. Nice moment

879
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:08,920
Speaker 3: of support, but that's her mom, So I doubt she

880
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 3: really means that.

881
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:13,319
Speaker 9: I'm not mad if she doesn't, do you, I mean,

882
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 9: did she literally her mom literally told fiance that she

883
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:22,399
Speaker 9: didn't care about her health and was perfectly fine putting

884
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 9: her at risk to like infection.

885
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 3: So I'm she might actually mean that she's done to

886
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 3: the father in law.

887
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 5: She said both, I mean both of them, but I

888
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:32,400
Speaker 5: mean because she donated it so tex for both.

889
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:35,319
Speaker 3: Of their health. Dang man, she really does not care

890
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 3: about any of these people in her life. Yeah, she's

891
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 3: like so proud, you know, like she she has to.

892
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 3: She can't have any insult to her intelligence.

893
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 5: Proud to be a hater.

894
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, just like in terms of like she has

895
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 3: so much pride. She's like, I can't be seen, like

896
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:56,320
Speaker 3: I can't question me. Yeah, and anyone who questions me

897
00:44:56,440 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 3: is against me, even if that's your own family. I'm

898
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:02,319
Speaker 3: just letting you know my boundaries because I don't want

899
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,399
Speaker 3: to deal with her anymore. Anyway. I leave and head

900
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 3: to my parents' house. They drive me upstate to pick

901
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,359
Speaker 3: up my car, and the mother in law is already home.

902
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,439
Speaker 3: It's ten at night at this point. I ring the bell,

903
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:15,800
Speaker 3: knock on the door with my fiance on the phone

904
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 3: on speaker. Mom doesn't answer fiance or father in law's calls.

905
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 3: He looks outside from her bedroom window and doesn't answer

906
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:27,399
Speaker 3: the door downstairs. Apparently she left her phone in her car,

907
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:29,799
Speaker 3: But I'm not buying it. I feel like this woman

908
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 3: is going to call the police on you. Yeah, I

909
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 3: feel like you gotta get out of there.

910
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:35,840
Speaker 5: Accusation of yah'd be like he's.

911
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 3: He's loitering outside my house.

912
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 5: I could see your trying something.

913
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:44,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I honestly, I think you just from this point on,

914
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 3: like limit as much contact with her mom as you can,

915
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:54,719
Speaker 3: because you know, a lady sounds like a nightmare, which

916
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:59,400
Speaker 3: and we knew she was. You knew she was, and

917
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:04,840
Speaker 3: now you just have more proof. Yeugh, But yeah, definitely start.

918
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:07,279
Speaker 3: I mean, it sucks because your fiance can't really be

919
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:10,799
Speaker 3: much of a mediator because she is still recovering. But uh,

920
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 3: if she wants a relationship with the mom, she's definitely

921
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:17,320
Speaker 3: gonna have to be the mediator. Fiance says she was

922
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 3: about to call the town police department so they could

923
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 3: help me get my belongings back. I know it doesn't

924
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:24,879
Speaker 3: guarantee you'll get my stuff, since it's a civil matter.

925
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 3: My mom discouraged her from doing so. Thankfully, I have

926
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,800
Speaker 3: my work laptop and work phone on my person, so

927
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 3: I'll have no issues with work. The next day, I

928
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 3: leave with my car. I never want to deal with

929
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 3: this lady again. Her mom is constantly rude to people,

930
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 3: as disrespected me, my mom, and my family already once

931
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 3: where I forgave her and swallowed my pride, I'm done

932
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 3: swallowing my pride. My fiance can be in her life,

933
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,720
Speaker 3: but I want nothing to do with her. Am I overreacting?

934
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:57,680
Speaker 3: And what do you say?

935
00:46:58,160 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 5: No?

936
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 1: Yeah?

937
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 3: I honestly I don't know how you managed with her

938
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:04,399
Speaker 3: all this time.

939
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, If Beyonce wants to keep her around, she

940
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,840
Speaker 5: can be the one that's interacting with her and everything

941
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 5: when she's healed and every and all good. But mom's

942
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 5: crazy crazy.

943
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 8: My friend took my purse without permission and then lost it.

944
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 3: Give it back.

945
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 8: So I, twenty one female, am just about to leave

946
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:30,240
Speaker 8: from a vacation with a friend, also twenty one female,

947
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,319
Speaker 8: and I'm honestly still sick over what happened a few

948
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:37,440
Speaker 8: days ago. She took my expensive Zadig and Voltaire purse

949
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:40,840
Speaker 8: without asking this purse was a Christmas gift for my

950
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,280
Speaker 8: sister and has a huge sentimental value.

951
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 1: Yikes.

952
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 8: I've spent the past few years taking really good care

953
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:48,839
Speaker 8: of it because it means so much to me. By

954
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 8: the way, this comes from such Designer five to one

955
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 8: eighty five and if you want to submit your own stories,

956
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:56,239
Speaker 8: go to the r slash Okay storytime. Sepread it and

957
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 8: I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, and Opie says when she took it,

958
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:02,400
Speaker 8: she did even tell me. I only found out after

959
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 8: the fact that she used it to go to the

960
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 8: laundromat and then in the process used my money, which

961
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 8: she also didn't ask to take. For context, the purse

962
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:14,120
Speaker 8: had forty dollars in cash and a bunch of quarters,

963
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 8: a gift for my sister's best friend's mom, sixty euros

964
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 8: in notes, and at least twenty euros in coins, so

965
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:25,080
Speaker 8: we're talking over one hundred euros total, not to mention

966
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 8: the purse itself. And now the purse has got she

967
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:32,719
Speaker 8: lost it. I was obviously upset, not yelling or blaming her,

968
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,919
Speaker 8: just crying and saying that I wasn't mad, just hurt.

969
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 8: I told her how much that purse meant to me

970
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 8: and how hard I've worked to keep it safe for years.

971
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:45,800
Speaker 8: Instead of apologizing, she got huffy with me, rolled her eyes,

972
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:47,760
Speaker 8: and said, how much does it cost? I'll just replace

973
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:51,759
Speaker 8: it in this angry, dismissive tone. She has a very

974
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:55,480
Speaker 8: defensive and confrontational nature that makes me feel bullied and small,

975
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:57,080
Speaker 8: so I find it hard to stand up to her.

976
00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 8: But it's not just about the money. It's about trust

977
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 8: and about losing something deeply personal to me. Since then,

978
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 8: she hasn't apologized at all. In fact, she's acting annoyed

979
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:11,279
Speaker 8: that I'm upset. Now We're on the last night of

980
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:14,239
Speaker 8: our trip and I've decided to just be neutral and

981
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 8: quiet for the journey home. But once we're back, I

982
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 8: planned to stop speaking to her entirely. I feel like

983
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:23,839
Speaker 8: she violated my boundaries, disrespected my belongings, and is now

984
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 8: making me feel like I'm too sensitive for being hurt.

985
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:29,320
Speaker 8: But some mutual friends are already making me feel like

986
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,879
Speaker 8: I'm being dramatic and should let it go because it's

987
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 8: just a bag. So am I the a hole for

988
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:36,200
Speaker 8: cutting her off and refusing to speak to her after this?

989
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:40,839
Speaker 8: Absolutely not? Oh, there are some comments. Comment number one says,

990
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 8: she's not a friend. She also needs to pay you

991
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 8: back for the purse she stole it. Actually, so she's

992
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:48,960
Speaker 8: a thief, So your choice on how to handle that

993
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 8: going forward. Not the A hole Opie says she agrees

994
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,800
Speaker 8: to reimburse me, which I accepted, but I haven't spoken

995
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 8: with her further about it as I've been too upset

996
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 8: to look up the cost of the purse, and also

997
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 8: I have I haven't told her the amount that was

998
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 8: in the purse. I plan to do so in two

999
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:06,279
Speaker 8: days time, where I will post the update after I

1000
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 8: discussed with her my true feelings about this. Comment to says,

1001
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 8: not the A hole, I don't know why you say

1002
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 8: you weren't angry, just hurt. I'd be furious as well

1003
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 8: as hurt. She's still from you. She violated your trust.

1004
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 8: She's deflecting as if you're the one making a big

1005
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 8: deal about it, as if what she took was a

1006
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:25,239
Speaker 8: candy bar and not an expensive bag costing hundreds of

1007
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,920
Speaker 8: dollars or euros as well as a bunch of cash.

1008
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:30,359
Speaker 8: Why would you want to stay friends with someone who

1009
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:32,360
Speaker 8: would do that? If she won't pay you back in

1010
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 8: cash for the money and the bag, I'd post this

1011
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:37,200
Speaker 8: all of our social media with her name attached as

1012
00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:39,880
Speaker 8: a warning to others, because I doubt a police report

1013
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 8: will get you anywhere. At this point, Hope says, I agree,

1014
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:45,439
Speaker 8: but getting angry with the girl like her it doesn't work.

1015
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 8: It only invigorates her, it seems. I am genuinely heartbroken

1016
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:52,880
Speaker 8: as this has huge sentimental value, but also the amount

1017
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 8: of money in it may not be large to most,

1018
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 8: but is a lot to a student nurse in college

1019
00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 8: whose parents are not wealthy enough to support my college

1020
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 8: fees and living expenses like hers are. When I received

1021
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 8: nice things, I aim to keep them for a long time.

1022
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 8: She just lost my belongings like it was nothing and

1023
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:15,120
Speaker 8: never apologized. We do have an update. On the flight home,

1024
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 8: she asked me to mind her passport in my bag,

1025
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,800
Speaker 8: even though she had her own backpack. I agreed just

1026
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 8: to keep the peace because I didn't want to deal

1027
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 8: with any attitude or fighting. When we landed, she turned

1028
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,239
Speaker 8: to me and asked, do you have my passport in

1029
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:31,360
Speaker 8: a snappy tone. I was still hurt and wanted to

1030
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:34,000
Speaker 8: get one last jab in, so I said, using the

1031
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:36,400
Speaker 8: exact words she said to me all week about missing

1032
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 8: my purse. I was checking my bag the whole time

1033
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 8: to make sure your passport was there. But maybe it'll

1034
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:43,280
Speaker 8: show up when we get off the plane, I regretted,

1035
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 8: saying it immediately. She snapped in front of other passengers,

1036
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:49,720
Speaker 8: finally acknowledging that I had been upset about the purse,

1037
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:53,319
Speaker 8: but in the most cruel and dismissive way. She said, well,

1038
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 8: at least I didn't throw a hissy fade bawling.

1039
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 3: Crying for hours over a purse.

1040
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 8: That was the last straw acknowledged my obvious upset, yet

1041
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 8: still would not apologize. Once we got our bags at

1042
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:06,880
Speaker 8: the airport, I told her I wanted to check her

1043
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 8: suitcase for my purse. Good I said, if she refused,

1044
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 8: I'd involve the police. She tried to say I was

1045
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 8: violating her privacy, which is hilarious considering she took my

1046
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:20,480
Speaker 8: purse and went through my belongings. I told her, if

1047
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 8: it wasn't there, then she had nothing to be worried about.

1048
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:25,960
Speaker 8: I also made it clear that I wasn't going to

1049
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:27,920
Speaker 8: touch any of her stuff and that I wasn't interested

1050
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 8: in taking other people's belongings without permission, just checking for

1051
00:52:31,239 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 8: what is mine. She was absolutely fuming, face red shaking,

1052
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 8: visibly furious. Then she shoved her bag at me and

1053
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 8: told me to go ahead. I opened a zipped compartment.

1054
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 8: Inside was a black trash bag. Inside that was a

1055
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:50,520
Speaker 8: red Target bag inside that drum roll my part. She

1056
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:51,440
Speaker 8: never lost it.

1057
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:55,320
Speaker 3: She stole it. Oh my gosh, I knew it.

1058
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:58,360
Speaker 8: I was thinking that it she like stole the purse

1059
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:00,960
Speaker 8: and that's why she lost it. But what confused me

1060
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 8: was the fact that she was so willing to pay

1061
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:04,320
Speaker 8: for it again. So I was like, why would you

1062
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:06,399
Speaker 8: steal it if you're you know what I mean? Yeah,

1063
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 8: but she's stop. Oh my gosh. All of the money

1064
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:16,720
Speaker 8: was still inside, the cash, the euro coins, but no quarters.

1065
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 8: I was honestly so shocked I couldn't even ask why

1066
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:22,920
Speaker 8: she had it or what her plan was. I just

1067
00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:26,640
Speaker 8: said thanks and walked away with my stuff. I got

1068
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:28,719
Speaker 8: on the bus home and haven't spoken to her since.

1069
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,680
Speaker 8: I wish I hadn't been so emotionally drained to have

1070
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 8: given her a piece of my mind. She's since blocked

1071
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:38,359
Speaker 8: me with no apology or explanation. As a side note,

1072
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 8: her mom, who doesn't know we're not speaking, called me

1073
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:45,320
Speaker 8: at three am crying this mom was saying how badly

1074
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 8: she feels treated by her daughter, her husband, and how

1075
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:50,640
Speaker 8: she's constantly belittled.

1076
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:52,960
Speaker 3: Why is she calling you at there, yeah in the morning.

1077
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:54,880
Speaker 8: Why is this mom talking to you, a twenty one

1078
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 8: year old, about how bad you're treated by her daughter?

1079
00:53:59,520 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 3: Weird.

1080
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 8: I won't get into any of what had just happened,

1081
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:05,239
Speaker 8: but it definitely gave me more perspective. This is a

1082
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 8: cruel girl and horrendous person with a little to no empathy,

1083
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 8: and I think maybe it's sociopath and there is a

1084
00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 8: little bit bored to this story. But my goodness, this girl.

1085
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:19,760
Speaker 3: Whoe this girl.

1086
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 8: I'm so glad that she got her purse back. Yeah,

1087
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:25,439
Speaker 8: me too. And you know she did confront her, Yeah,

1088
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:27,560
Speaker 8: and got it back. It wasn't just that she had

1089
00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 8: to be mad at her for stealing it or something.

1090
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:31,800
Speaker 8: She got it back and now she's not friends with

1091
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 8: her anymore.

1092
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 3: I would be sending a picture of the bag to

1093
00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:37,879
Speaker 3: all of the friends that said get over it and say, hey,

1094
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 3: she had it, she had it in her bag, She's

1095
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 3: hit it trying to steal it.

1096
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 8: Hidden within two other bags.

1097
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, so she definitely knew that she had it.

1098
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:49,840
Speaker 8: Yeah, Anyway, I got my purse back, but the whole

1099
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:52,080
Speaker 8: thing left a really bad taste in my mouth. I

1100
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:54,279
Speaker 8: still don't fully understand what she was trying to do,

1101
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 8: and honestly, I don't think I want to. I'm just

1102
00:54:57,080 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 8: relieved it's over. What do you guys think she was

1103
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,640
Speaker 8: aiming to do with the purse? Very little of my

1104
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:05,399
Speaker 8: money inside was used. So strange and there isn't edits.

1105
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:08,040
Speaker 8: She stole it for the coins for the launch, just

1106
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 8: for the coins, and then decided to keep the person. Yes,

1107
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:12,120
Speaker 8: I mean this is kind of nice. Actually, yeah, if

1108
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:14,880
Speaker 8: it was an expensive purse, I'm thinking that she just

1109
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 8: wanted it. Yeah, that's all. And she's gonna use the

1110
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 8: money leader she knows she had it, she didn't need

1111
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,719
Speaker 8: to spend it right away. But there is a little edits.

1112
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:24,399
Speaker 8: I didn't realize this would gain so much traction so quickly,

1113
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:28,480
Speaker 8: thinking everybody. Also, she chronically watches YouTube videos where they

1114
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:31,400
Speaker 8: review Reddit stories like this one. I'm just laughing at

1115
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:34,359
Speaker 8: thinking about if this came up. I feel like she's

1116
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 8: so self absorbed that she would not clog that it's

1117
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:41,320
Speaker 8: about her. And there are some comments, why haven't you

1118
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:44,399
Speaker 8: told your friends and her mom about what happened. It's

1119
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:46,600
Speaker 8: like you want her to rewrite the story to make

1120
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:50,239
Speaker 8: you the villain, Opie says. My friends are aware, and

1121
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:53,319
Speaker 8: my entire family they told me they are disgraced by

1122
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:56,320
Speaker 8: her behavior and to cut off contact with her. The

1123
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:59,640
Speaker 8: friends on vacation, however, whether they sided with her or

1124
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,520
Speaker 8: were actually too afraid to side with me, I'm not sure.

1125
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 8: I haven't reached out to them, and from advice from

1126
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 8: the previous post, I'm not going to continue my relationships

1127
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:10,800
Speaker 8: with them. I can't be friends with someone who is

1128
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 8: too weak to stand up for me. Her mother was

1129
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:15,520
Speaker 8: drinking and driving and in a bad spot, so I

1130
00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:17,000
Speaker 8: felt that it was not the right time to bring

1131
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 8: up the situation, and she was very upset.

1132
00:56:19,520 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 3: Also, why would you, I don't even think you need

1133
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:24,400
Speaker 3: to tell her mom what she took you over with

1134
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:25,640
Speaker 3: her mom exactly.

1135
00:56:25,719 --> 00:56:28,520
Speaker 8: I mean, yeah, if the mom is calling ope.

1136
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:30,440
Speaker 3: At three am, she's clearly unhinged.

1137
00:56:30,719 --> 00:56:34,400
Speaker 8: Yeah, so this there's no reason she knows that her

1138
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,359
Speaker 8: daughter is not a good person. Yeah.

1139
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:38,560
Speaker 3: And also she doesn't seem like that grade of a

1140
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 3: person if she's drinking and driving and calling you at

1141
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:44,800
Speaker 3: three am. A random twenty one year old, right, like,

1142
00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 3: clearly something's going on there.

1143
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,520
Speaker 8: Coming number two says, what's the resell value on that purse?

1144
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:51,440
Speaker 8: My first thought was that she was trying to sell it,

1145
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:55,040
Speaker 8: Opie says between two hundred and twenty to three fifty euros.

1146
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 8: Coming number three says, glad you forced her to open

1147
00:56:57,640 --> 00:57:00,080
Speaker 8: her bag at the airport with security around. Only thing

1148
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:03,040
Speaker 8: I would have done is lost her passport and snuck

1149
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:05,479
Speaker 8: it into her bag and let her run around trying

1150
00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 8: to find it. Opie says, Haha, my father told me

1151
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:10,080
Speaker 8: that I should have ft it in the bin, and

1152
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 8: that's all that we have in that story.

1153
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:15,439
Speaker 3: Well, she wrote, Yeah, honestly.

1154
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 8: That commentary's idea of it is kind of funny because

1155
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:20,240
Speaker 8: I was thinking, like, oh, I lost your passport. But then'

1156
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,439
Speaker 8: like ah, but like she does really need that, yeah,

1157
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:24,880
Speaker 8: but then putting it in her bag is kind of

1158
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:25,680
Speaker 8: that's a.

1159
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:28,520
Speaker 3: Great just causes her worry, but then she still has exactly.

1160
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:29,880
Speaker 8: You have it, and you have to rummage through your

1161
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:33,240
Speaker 8: whole bag haha, and around my bag, yeah that's in

1162
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:34,320
Speaker 8: your bag, yeah, and.

1163
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 3: Then find it and then and then yeah, you have

1164
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 3: to reveal that you've stolen the bag.

1165
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:41,280
Speaker 8: She could have done it if she was opening her

1166
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 8: bag to get her own little purse, and then she

1167
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:46,480
Speaker 8: could have easily just stuck it in whatever. I don't

1168
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 8: think she did that, But anyway, that's the end of

1169
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:50,800
Speaker 8: that story. We've got another one coming right up.

1170
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:53,439
Speaker 2: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1171
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:55,440
Speaker 2: Put a quick three minute ad break from her sponsors

1172
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:56,320
Speaker 2: that keep the show going.

1173
00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:00,080
Speaker 3: My friend cut me off after my pregnancy reveal. Well,

1174
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 3: now she wants me back. Too little, too late, my friend,

1175
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 3: So to start off, me and this woman met in

1176
00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 3: middle school when I transferred to the school she went to,

1177
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 3: and we have been really good friends up until the

1178
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:15,360
Speaker 3: most recent years. We are both thirty nine female. She

1179
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:17,960
Speaker 3: and I both were kind of outsiders and did not

1180
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:21,040
Speaker 3: fit in too well with other groups, so we stuck

1181
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:25,080
Speaker 3: together like lou By the way, this comes from scibbscib me,

1182
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

1183
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:29,480
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay story time severed it. I'm

1184
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:33,560
Speaker 3: Sophia and I'm Angie, and Op says her parents passed

1185
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:35,840
Speaker 3: when she was young and she had no siblings, so

1186
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,600
Speaker 3: I admit now she may have felt closer to me

1187
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:41,440
Speaker 3: than I did to her, since I had a lot

1188
00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:43,520
Speaker 3: of friends back in my old school that I still

1189
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:46,920
Speaker 3: talked to over year back I became pregnant with my

1190
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:51,280
Speaker 3: and my husband's firstborn daughter. She is truly everything we

1191
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 3: could have asked for, quite literally perfect. We've been married

1192
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:56,920
Speaker 3: since we were twenty five and had no plans to

1193
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,840
Speaker 3: have children initially, but with my forties coming up and

1194
00:58:59,880 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 3: I had a talk and decided that maybe one would

1195
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 3: not hurt. We absolutely love her and are also so

1196
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,680
Speaker 3: happy to be one and done. We are at a

1197
00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:12,960
Speaker 3: great point in our careers and have honestly spoiled this baby.

1198
00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 3: My friend, let's call her Anna, has been married with

1199
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 3: her husband since she was twenty eight, and they've been

1200
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:21,480
Speaker 3: trying for a baby since she turned thirty. They started

1201
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 3: IVF when she was thirty two, as they are also

1202
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:27,080
Speaker 3: both well off, and fertility experts explained she would have

1203
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:29,880
Speaker 3: a hard time getting pregnant. She knew I was not

1204
00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:32,600
Speaker 3: really planning on a child, and we never really spoke

1205
00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 3: about her Tec journey because that is something deeply personal,

1206
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 3: and I never did any prying. She seemed happy to

1207
00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 3: never bring it up, and when she did talk about it,

1208
00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:43,560
Speaker 3: she would have a sad look, so I figured it

1209
00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:46,160
Speaker 3: was best that way. By the point we decided to

1210
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:48,560
Speaker 3: try for a baby, I tried to keep it just

1211
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 3: to me and my husband. I did not tell her,

1212
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:54,280
Speaker 3: just me and my husband knew. I did not even

1213
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:57,000
Speaker 3: tell my own mom or sister, who I would argue

1214
00:59:57,080 --> 00:59:59,600
Speaker 3: I'm closer with. At the time, I felt she did

1215
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,000
Speaker 3: not need heads up because we just didn't want to

1216
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:05,480
Speaker 3: tell anybody. Honestly, I wasn't really even thinking about her

1217
01:00:05,600 --> 01:00:09,000
Speaker 3: TTC journey, as she rarely talks about it. I did

1218
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 3: not think I owed it to her to tell her

1219
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:14,640
Speaker 3: just because she is TTC. We really wanted to just

1220
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 3: keep it between us. Soon after, about two months later,

1221
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:21,520
Speaker 3: I got pregnant. When the baby reached twenty weeks, this

1222
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:24,560
Speaker 3: is when we announced. Everyone a little late into it

1223
01:00:24,680 --> 01:00:28,040
Speaker 3: and the suspense was unliving us, but we decided it

1224
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:31,440
Speaker 3: was best since my mother has a bad history because

1225
01:00:31,480 --> 01:00:33,720
Speaker 3: of the situation, I decided to meet up with her

1226
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:36,520
Speaker 3: before our reveals, since I planned to invite her and

1227
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:39,520
Speaker 3: didn't want her to be blindsided. Since we were actually

1228
01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 3: finally telling people, I thought it was right. As I

1229
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:45,240
Speaker 3: told her, her face kind of fell and I asked,

1230
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:48,400
Speaker 3: what was wrong. She asked a few questions, like when

1231
01:00:48,480 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 3: did I start, how long did it take? I answered,

1232
01:00:51,360 --> 01:00:54,080
Speaker 3: but then asked how she felt. She got really angry

1233
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 3: and upset and said I was gross for telling her

1234
01:00:56,960 --> 01:00:59,480
Speaker 3: something this late, and that I was pregnant every time

1235
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:02,640
Speaker 3: we hung out, which made her deeply uncomfortable. She explained

1236
01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:05,000
Speaker 3: her clock is running out and said it was wrong

1237
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 3: of me to rub my pregnancy in her face. She

1238
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:09,920
Speaker 3: said she wished I told her before we got pregnant

1239
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,160
Speaker 3: that we were trying, so she would know to stay

1240
01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:13,520
Speaker 3: away for her own peace.

1241
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:14,120
Speaker 7: Oh my god.

1242
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:16,760
Speaker 3: She called me a really big witch and not a

1243
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 3: true friend. I told her she's been peaceful because she

1244
01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:22,240
Speaker 3: did not get queasy seeing me since she didn't know.

1245
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,120
Speaker 3: I said it was weird that instead of being happy

1246
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:28,000
Speaker 3: for me, she was doing this instead. We went back

1247
01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:30,640
Speaker 3: and forth, with her continuing to call me rude names.

1248
01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 3: I admit I got really mad at being called those things,

1249
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:36,840
Speaker 3: and the hormones didn't help either. I told her she

1250
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:39,080
Speaker 3: didn't have to worry about her clock running out because

1251
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:42,080
Speaker 3: her crap wasn't even ticking. As soon as the words

1252
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 3: left my mouth, I felt regret.

1253
01:01:44,280 --> 01:01:44,520
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1254
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:46,560
Speaker 8: Ouch, yeah.

1255
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 3: She stared at me blankly, so I decided to apologize

1256
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 3: and left without waiting for a reply. I got home

1257
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:54,880
Speaker 3: and decided to text her, but found out she had

1258
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 3: actually blocked me everywhere. The anger was still fresh, so

1259
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 3: I didn't try to reach out again. I figured it

1260
01:02:01,680 --> 01:02:04,360
Speaker 3: would be fine because I at my village. I did

1261
01:02:04,400 --> 01:02:08,640
Speaker 3: not need her or her negativity impacting and stressing me out.

1262
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:11,840
Speaker 3: I didn't want to walk on eggshells. I did miss

1263
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:14,320
Speaker 3: her a lot, but what she said kept ringing in

1264
01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 3: my ears. Strangely, I got a text from an unknown

1265
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:20,560
Speaker 3: number a few days ago. It was Anna. She was

1266
01:02:20,640 --> 01:02:22,760
Speaker 3: texting me, asking to meet up and that she had

1267
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:25,360
Speaker 3: something she wanted to talk about. I told her I

1268
01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:27,120
Speaker 3: didn't want to meet up and that she could say

1269
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:29,720
Speaker 3: it right. Then she told me she was pregnant and

1270
01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:33,520
Speaker 3: was hoping we could possibly rekindle. She explained that when

1271
01:02:33,560 --> 01:02:36,200
Speaker 3: she finally was able to get pregnant, she thought about

1272
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:39,640
Speaker 3: me immediately and felt guilt for what went down. She

1273
01:02:39,720 --> 01:02:42,240
Speaker 3: said she was around twenty five weeks and had pondered

1274
01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:45,040
Speaker 3: a long time if she should reach out to me.

1275
01:02:45,600 --> 01:02:47,960
Speaker 3: She admitted she did not really understand things at the

1276
01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:52,680
Speaker 3: time and had building resentment towards pregnant people from her journey.

1277
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:55,120
Speaker 3: She said the fact that I didn't want any kids

1278
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:57,680
Speaker 3: but got to have one before her when she wanted

1279
01:02:57,760 --> 01:03:01,920
Speaker 3: multiple really stung. That day, she said she wanted our

1280
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,400
Speaker 3: kids to grow up together and be best friends.

1281
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:06,280
Speaker 8: I texted her back.

1282
01:03:06,160 --> 01:03:08,200
Speaker 3: And said it was weird of her to fantasize about

1283
01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:11,240
Speaker 3: my baby being friends with hers when we're not friends.

1284
01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:15,320
Speaker 3: I reminded her that for literally the entirety of our friendship,

1285
01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:17,720
Speaker 3: she knew I was child free up until the end

1286
01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:21,240
Speaker 3: where she decided to crash and burn everything we had.

1287
01:03:21,720 --> 01:03:24,680
Speaker 3: I told her she should have had decorum that day.

1288
01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:27,040
Speaker 3: She was allowed to be sad at my pregnancy, but

1289
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 3: blowing up at me was insane.

1290
01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:29,560
Speaker 8: I said.

1291
01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:32,120
Speaker 3: The same way she would have appreciated being told early,

1292
01:03:32,680 --> 01:03:35,560
Speaker 3: I would have appreciated some kindness and maybe a congrats,

1293
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:37,680
Speaker 3: but I did not get that. I said it was

1294
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:39,720
Speaker 3: weird of her to text me now hoping for me

1295
01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:41,760
Speaker 3: to be happy for her. Oh, and the worst part

1296
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:45,320
Speaker 3: is I was happy for her. I told her something

1297
01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:47,480
Speaker 3: in the back of my mind still missed her, and

1298
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:49,640
Speaker 3: I was ready to let it go after this, and

1299
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:52,840
Speaker 3: I wished her a safe pregnancy. Something she could not

1300
01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:55,440
Speaker 3: muster up for me. After this, she sent me a

1301
01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:57,960
Speaker 3: long text saying I was the only real friend she

1302
01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 3: had and that she would have nobody else else to

1303
01:04:00,360 --> 01:04:03,480
Speaker 3: celebrate with other than her husband's family and her coworkers.

1304
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,960
Speaker 3: I told her we were not friends anymore and blocked her.

1305
01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:14,760
Speaker 3: Oh this is dang tragic, like childhood friend. Yeah, and obviously,

1306
01:04:14,960 --> 01:04:19,720
Speaker 3: like you cut her off for reason reasonable, you know things, right,

1307
01:04:20,480 --> 01:04:23,320
Speaker 3: But like, yeah, this kind of sucks.

1308
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:25,880
Speaker 8: That does kind of suck because I feel like, I

1309
01:04:25,960 --> 01:04:28,200
Speaker 8: don't know, I feel like it would be good to

1310
01:04:29,240 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 8: voice your opinion like this, because like I've been in

1311
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:34,760
Speaker 8: a situation where like I stopped being friends with someone

1312
01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:38,120
Speaker 8: and then they apologized afterwards, and then like I still

1313
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:40,560
Speaker 8: had a lot of things to say to them. Yeah,

1314
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:44,520
Speaker 8: but I kind of was just like, oh, well that

1315
01:04:44,680 --> 01:04:46,920
Speaker 8: was a nice apology, so like maybe we can be

1316
01:04:46,960 --> 01:04:48,840
Speaker 8: friends again. But then it didn't feel right, you.

1317
01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:49,320
Speaker 5: Know what I mean.

1318
01:04:49,680 --> 01:04:53,440
Speaker 8: So I like that she was able to say these things.

1319
01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:56,000
Speaker 3: She had this kind of closure, She had this moment

1320
01:04:56,040 --> 01:04:58,640
Speaker 3: where she was offered the friendship, and she was like,

1321
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:02,840
Speaker 3: you know what, know, I appreciate it, but happy for

1322
01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:06,760
Speaker 3: you can go back. Since then my husband actually received

1323
01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:09,480
Speaker 3: a text from her husband asking if he could convince

1324
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:12,840
Speaker 3: me to reconcile because Anna was in shambles and he

1325
01:05:12,920 --> 01:05:15,240
Speaker 3: didn't want her to have so much stress during her

1326
01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:18,400
Speaker 3: very hard to achieve pregnancy. My husband is saying I

1327
01:05:18,480 --> 01:05:20,600
Speaker 3: should just make friends for her sake at least, and

1328
01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:22,600
Speaker 3: that maybe it will be like it used to be.

1329
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:26,720
Speaker 8: Any final thoughts, I think I would hear her out

1330
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:29,120
Speaker 8: and I would try to I would at least be

1331
01:05:29,240 --> 01:05:31,800
Speaker 8: open to forgiving her. I feel like it wouldn't be

1332
01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:35,400
Speaker 8: wouldn't be the same, wouldn't be the same. Yeah, but

1333
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:37,080
Speaker 8: I wouldn't block her, I think.

1334
01:05:37,240 --> 01:05:38,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like that.

1335
01:05:38,480 --> 01:05:40,560
Speaker 3: I don't know. It feels like you both were going

1336
01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:44,440
Speaker 3: through something. Yeah, and she kind of lashed out in

1337
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:46,640
Speaker 3: a really awful way, and you were very right in

1338
01:05:46,760 --> 01:05:50,320
Speaker 3: reacting the way you did after. Right, But it seems

1339
01:05:50,400 --> 01:05:53,200
Speaker 3: like you know, she's kind of had that realization.

1340
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:57,720
Speaker 7: Yeah, but you know you don't know it to her, right,

1341
01:05:58,160 --> 01:06:00,880
Speaker 7: she did hurt you, Right, It's very possible for it

1342
01:06:00,960 --> 01:06:02,960
Speaker 7: to be the kind of thing where, like later down

1343
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:05,040
Speaker 7: the line, if you wish that you were friends to her,

1344
01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:05,840
Speaker 7: or you were mad.

1345
01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:08,200
Speaker 8: That you're not friends anymore, then you could.

1346
01:06:08,320 --> 01:06:09,280
Speaker 3: You can't evaluate.

1347
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:12,960
Speaker 8: Yeah, you can't really like be super mad at her

1348
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:16,720
Speaker 8: for like throwing it all away when it's like, Okay,

1349
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:21,560
Speaker 8: well she messed up. Yeah, nan, but you could still

1350
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:24,200
Speaker 8: have a friendship and you like you could still do

1351
01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:26,600
Speaker 8: something about that. You know, it's not away forever.

1352
01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:28,640
Speaker 3: I told him it has been a year since she

1353
01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:30,640
Speaker 3: reached out to me last, and if she's willing to

1354
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:34,120
Speaker 3: toss decades of friendship away for a year consistently without

1355
01:06:34,200 --> 01:06:37,440
Speaker 3: reaching out until she got pregnant, then maybe she did

1356
01:06:37,520 --> 01:06:40,400
Speaker 3: not deserve me anyway. He still thinks I'm being cold

1357
01:06:40,480 --> 01:06:42,840
Speaker 3: and said it is hard to believe we were even

1358
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:45,680
Speaker 3: friends with how my attitude about her is am I

1359
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:48,360
Speaker 3: the ale? Should I unblock and maybe work it out

1360
01:06:49,120 --> 01:06:51,600
Speaker 3: and edit? Despite the comments saying not the ale, I

1361
01:06:51,720 --> 01:06:54,280
Speaker 3: did get a long DM from someone to keep a

1362
01:06:54,320 --> 01:06:57,200
Speaker 3: long story short. I believe I could be an ahole

1363
01:06:57,560 --> 01:06:59,480
Speaker 3: because I said something very nasty her.

1364
01:06:59,760 --> 01:06:59,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1365
01:07:00,040 --> 01:07:03,080
Speaker 3: Yes, and the argument we had could have been avoided

1366
01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 3: if I had just told her what was going on.

1367
01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:08,400
Speaker 3: The person explained people that our ttcs sometimes need to

1368
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:11,240
Speaker 3: mute others for their own well being. I may have

1369
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:13,640
Speaker 3: been selfish by not telling her and by saying that,

1370
01:07:13,760 --> 01:07:16,680
Speaker 3: as well as not inquiring more about her struggles, this

1371
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:18,680
Speaker 3: has opened my eyes a bit more, but I am

1372
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:20,600
Speaker 3: still very much on the fence about letting her back

1373
01:07:20,600 --> 01:07:23,240
Speaker 3: into my life, not even because of my husband, but

1374
01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:26,360
Speaker 3: because I do miss her. Common one kind of weird

1375
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:28,680
Speaker 3: Your husband cares more about someone who hurt you than

1376
01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:32,080
Speaker 3: his own wife. I disagree with that. I think that

1377
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:33,800
Speaker 3: he cares a lot about his wife, which is why

1378
01:07:33,880 --> 01:07:36,720
Speaker 3: he's bringing that up. Yeah, Opie says, my husband is

1379
01:07:36,840 --> 01:07:39,080
Speaker 3: very good friends with her husband. That is why he

1380
01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:41,760
Speaker 3: also thinks we're both overreacting and that her grief and

1381
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:43,920
Speaker 3: my hormones made us say mean things to each other.

1382
01:07:44,280 --> 01:07:46,320
Speaker 3: We really did used to be very good friends, and

1383
01:07:46,440 --> 01:07:49,160
Speaker 3: he finds it out of character, which it is. I'm

1384
01:07:49,200 --> 01:07:51,040
Speaker 3: not going to defend her, but this is the first

1385
01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:54,320
Speaker 3: time she's ever done something like that. He also sees

1386
01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:57,040
Speaker 3: that I do actually miss her, and I have pretty petty,

1387
01:07:57,160 --> 01:08:00,600
Speaker 3: spiteful side to me that was apparent, and he thinks

1388
01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:03,400
Speaker 3: that is why I don't want to reconcile. She also

1389
01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:06,560
Speaker 3: doesn't really have anyone else, and it sucks because while

1390
01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:09,160
Speaker 3: she may have money to buy her baby anything, nothing

1391
01:08:09,240 --> 01:08:11,680
Speaker 3: beats having a strong village to help you, and she

1392
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:13,960
Speaker 3: won't have that with another woman her age unless she

1393
01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:17,160
Speaker 3: makes up with me. But I'm reluctant. A reply says

1394
01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:19,599
Speaker 3: you miss the friend she used to be. Common too

1395
01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:22,639
Speaker 3: says I understand where you're coming from. Your post initially

1396
01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:24,839
Speaker 3: made it seem like you were not supportive or avoided

1397
01:08:24,920 --> 01:08:28,799
Speaker 3: discussing her struggles, But I see you do understand the situation.

1398
01:08:29,280 --> 01:08:33,960
Speaker 3: While her behavior was extremely hurtful and inexcusable, fertility treatments

1399
01:08:34,040 --> 01:08:38,000
Speaker 3: are invasive and mentally draining the hormones. Repeated failures and

1400
01:08:38,120 --> 01:08:41,600
Speaker 3: watching others get pregnant easily can lead to depression and

1401
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:45,960
Speaker 3: bitterness that cloud's judgment. This does not excuse treating people poorly,

1402
01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:49,400
Speaker 3: but people sometimes fall into holes they cannot climb out

1403
01:08:49,439 --> 01:08:52,480
Speaker 3: of a loone and it sounds like she genuinely regretted

1404
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:56,680
Speaker 3: her reaction. Given your long friendship, ask yourself, is your

1405
01:08:56,760 --> 01:09:00,040
Speaker 3: life better without her? Do you miss the friendship? What

1406
01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:02,599
Speaker 3: you want your kids to be close someday? The real

1407
01:09:02,720 --> 01:09:05,800
Speaker 3: question is what you want to do moving forward. Some

1408
01:09:05,960 --> 01:09:10,120
Speaker 3: people find hate easy and forgiveness hard. I am the opposite.

1409
01:09:10,560 --> 01:09:13,640
Speaker 3: Forgiveness comes easier to me than holding grudges, which I

1410
01:09:13,760 --> 01:09:16,600
Speaker 3: find draining. What matters is what feels right for you

1411
01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:20,000
Speaker 3: and this specific situation. That was a good comment. Yeah,

1412
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,479
Speaker 3: I agree with her comment. OPI says, I do not

1413
01:09:22,760 --> 01:09:25,080
Speaker 3: know what I want. If she had just been upset

1414
01:09:25,240 --> 01:09:27,720
Speaker 3: or asked for space, that would be different. But she

1415
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:30,559
Speaker 3: called me a witch, a bad friend, and other words

1416
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:33,280
Speaker 3: that get flagged. She knows name calling is something I

1417
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:36,680
Speaker 3: find really low and in response and none of that

1418
01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:39,840
Speaker 3: is excusable. But in response, you did bring up one

1419
01:09:39,880 --> 01:09:43,600
Speaker 3: of her deepest insecurities, right, so you know, like you

1420
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:46,160
Speaker 3: guys both said some things that I'm sure you did

1421
01:09:46,240 --> 01:09:46,679
Speaker 3: not mean.

1422
01:09:47,080 --> 01:09:47,960
Speaker 8: Yeah, exactly.

1423
01:09:48,439 --> 01:09:50,880
Speaker 3: She also went on about her biological clock, and I

1424
01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:53,240
Speaker 3: wrongly assume that did not apply to her since she

1425
01:09:53,360 --> 01:09:57,680
Speaker 3: was doing fertility treatments. After my own difficult pregnancy, I

1426
01:09:57,800 --> 01:10:01,120
Speaker 3: realized being twenty five would have made things. It's not

1427
01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:04,360
Speaker 3: just about egg counts. Living without her this year has

1428
01:10:04,439 --> 01:10:06,880
Speaker 3: been hard. I have had lows where I wish she

1429
01:10:07,080 --> 01:10:09,920
Speaker 3: was around, not just to talk, but to laugh until

1430
01:10:09,960 --> 01:10:12,559
Speaker 3: I cried, the kind of laughter that might have sent

1431
01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:15,120
Speaker 3: me into labor if we were still close. I wanted

1432
01:10:15,160 --> 01:10:17,879
Speaker 3: her planning my baby shower and being my baby's auntie.

1433
01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:20,800
Speaker 3: Maybe being pregnant made it feel worse than it was.

1434
01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:24,479
Speaker 3: It felt like she unlive my dog or something. I

1435
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:27,120
Speaker 3: still feel that sting, but wonder if what she said

1436
01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:30,400
Speaker 3: was actually that wrong or if I was just hormonal.

1437
01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:33,040
Speaker 3: I also do not know if she genuinely wants to

1438
01:10:33,120 --> 01:10:36,360
Speaker 3: reconnect or if she is being hormonal too. I do

1439
01:10:36,520 --> 01:10:39,000
Speaker 3: not want to be hurt like that again. That day,

1440
01:10:39,160 --> 01:10:41,639
Speaker 3: she felt like a different person I did not know anymore.

1441
01:10:42,280 --> 01:10:44,160
Speaker 3: I'm not sure I want to get to know her again.

1442
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:47,560
Speaker 3: I think you do, right, Yeah, I feel like she

1443
01:10:47,680 --> 01:10:50,160
Speaker 3: does too. I think you said all of that, and

1444
01:10:50,439 --> 01:10:52,320
Speaker 3: underneath all of it was I miss her.

1445
01:10:53,040 --> 01:10:57,040
Speaker 8: Yeah, because here out you know, like again it's it's

1446
01:10:57,200 --> 01:10:59,240
Speaker 8: not going to jump into what it was before. Oh

1447
01:10:59,439 --> 01:11:01,840
Speaker 8: it shouldn't, right, And you were mad at her for

1448
01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:03,840
Speaker 8: saying those things. I mean, like that's what happened with

1449
01:11:03,920 --> 01:11:05,439
Speaker 8: my friend. I was well, I was kind of mad

1450
01:11:05,520 --> 01:11:07,560
Speaker 8: like about a few things. But then there was like

1451
01:11:08,160 --> 01:11:09,479
Speaker 8: name calling at the end of it. That was like

1452
01:11:09,560 --> 01:11:12,880
Speaker 8: the final straw, and was like, okay, no, but but

1453
01:11:13,360 --> 01:11:15,680
Speaker 8: you know, like listen to what they have to say

1454
01:11:15,800 --> 01:11:19,960
Speaker 8: and see what she'll do if like if she'll put

1455
01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:23,400
Speaker 8: any actions for it that will make things up, like make.

1456
01:11:23,320 --> 01:11:24,880
Speaker 3: Up for it she see if she follows through.

1457
01:11:25,120 --> 01:11:28,560
Speaker 8: Yeah exactly, But don't give up on a friendship that

1458
01:11:28,640 --> 01:11:30,639
Speaker 8: you mess Yeah exactly.

1459
01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:32,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's the end of that story.