WEBVTT - Just Jennie: HOW to Stop Chasing that "25th Hour"

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hello,

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<v Speaker 1>as promised, I am back and I'm so happy to

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<v Speaker 1>be here with you today. We are going to talk

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<v Speaker 1>about choosing to find me time. On the last episode,

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<v Speaker 1>I ranted a little about life, about running on fumes

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<v Speaker 1>and carrying all that heavyweight. There's the forever epic responsibility

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<v Speaker 1>of being a good mom or dad through every stage

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<v Speaker 1>and every age. Or maybe you're a parent to an

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<v Speaker 1>adult kid who still needs a lot of let's just

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<v Speaker 1>call it guidance, and we're trying to figure out how

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<v Speaker 1>to do this. You know, we're trying to stay connected

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<v Speaker 1>with our adult kids as they're leaving the nest, but

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<v Speaker 1>also knowing, you know, we gotta let them fly. So yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>figuring out that whole new rhythm, that whole vibe take

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<v Speaker 1>some work. Perhaps you're all the sudden facing having to

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<v Speaker 1>be a completely different kind of parent, like me to

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<v Speaker 1>an eighty three year old who used to be my parent,

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<v Speaker 1>kind of thing which requires a great amount of love, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>but also patience, so much patience, like all the patients sometimes,

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<v Speaker 1>but you know in your bones that's what you need

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<v Speaker 1>to be doing. Oh and then there's the relationships. They

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<v Speaker 1>are work. A commitment to grow alongside with your person,

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<v Speaker 1>whether you are together or apart, is a lot of work.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to give that time or it will just

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<v Speaker 1>fizzle and you will grow apart, and we don't want

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<v Speaker 1>that to happen. Or maybe it's just all the hoops,

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<v Speaker 1>all the hoops that you've been jumping through trying to

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<v Speaker 1>hustle your schedule so that you can do all the things.

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<v Speaker 1>But it got me to the root of the point.

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<v Speaker 1>There isn't and never will be a twenty fifth hour.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the deal. So how do we actually make time

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<v Speaker 1>for ourselves within our currently existing twenty four hours? First

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<v Speaker 1>things first, it starts with choosing to get just as

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<v Speaker 1>serious about caring for yourself as you are about any

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<v Speaker 1>other thing in your life. That's it. But here are

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<v Speaker 1>some of the ways I protect my me time. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>Number one, schedule yourself in I've said this so many times. Literally,

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<v Speaker 1>you have to block out time on your calendar the

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<v Speaker 1>way you would for a major meeting, doctor's appointment, an

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<v Speaker 1>important you know, thing with your kid. Write it down.

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<v Speaker 1>I write down JG time or ME time. Do not

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<v Speaker 1>disturb in big bold capital letters. It feels so silly

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<v Speaker 1>when I started it, but I felt like it forced

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<v Speaker 1>me to treat my self care as a non negotiable commitment.

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<v Speaker 1>If you see a blank hour in your day, what's

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<v Speaker 1>the first thing you're going to think about? Putting there

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<v Speaker 1>a chore? Right, Let's just stop that. Let's don't do that. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>Let's write in to that blank space, walk with no destination,

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<v Speaker 1>or thirty minutes to read a book before anything else

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<v Speaker 1>can nab it. It's a boundary with yourself and it works.

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<v Speaker 1>Number two is to protect your mornings. You don't have

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<v Speaker 1>to carve out an hour. Claim ten minutes that's so easy.

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<v Speaker 1>Ten minutes when you first wake up, before you look

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<v Speaker 1>at your phone. That's very important, very hard to do,

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<v Speaker 1>but very important, before you check your emails, before you

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<v Speaker 1>address the human standing in the kitchen asking for a snack,

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<v Speaker 1>just say no, nope. These ten minutes are mine. No noise,

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<v Speaker 1>no scrolling, just me sitting peacefully in that quiet, protected

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<v Speaker 1>space that is within me, and that is where everything changes.

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<v Speaker 1>My entire perspective for the day. Just that ten minutes

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<v Speaker 1>for me. At the end of the day, it's my gardening.

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<v Speaker 1>I love ending my workdays in nature. I usually try

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<v Speaker 1>to stretch the time, and I will hide out in

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<v Speaker 1>my little rose garden until past dark and then people

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<v Speaker 1>will come looking for me. But it's really my escape.

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<v Speaker 1>So find your rose garden. I don't know, maybe you're

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<v Speaker 1>starting to feel a shift just by listening to this.

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<v Speaker 1>You're starting to get a little motivated. But these things,

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<v Speaker 1>they are going to change your game. Okay, So next

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<v Speaker 1>I want to get into the powerful act of saying

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<v Speaker 1>no and redefining productivity. Okay, so say no like it's

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<v Speaker 1>a form of self care, because guess what it is.

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<v Speaker 1>Every no you say is a non essential request, creating

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<v Speaker 1>space for a yes that actually serves you and your

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<v Speaker 1>well being. Say no is not selfish. It is preventative

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<v Speaker 1>medicine for burnout. You don't need a huge explanation when

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<v Speaker 1>you're saying no to somebody. Just keep it simple. Try this.

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<v Speaker 1>That sounds really great, but I'm protecting my time right now.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope you can understand fair simple right or you

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<v Speaker 1>can say ah, I can't take that on right now.

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<v Speaker 1>But thank you so much for thinking of me. Very short,

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<v Speaker 1>very sweet, and you know what, final, So people really

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<v Speaker 1>get your message.

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<v Speaker 2>If you've been ghosted, divorced, or left for someone else.

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<v Speaker 2>Snap out of it. It's time for you to give

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<v Speaker 2>some help by listening to us that I Do Part two.

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<v Speaker 2>Listen to I Do Part two on the iHeartRadio app,

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<v Speaker 2>Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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<v Speaker 1>At the core of this is something simple but so powerful,

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<v Speaker 1>the ability to choose yourself. That means tuning into your

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<v Speaker 1>own needs and building the kind of inner strength that

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't require validation from an outside source. It's about finding

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<v Speaker 1>stability within yourself so that no matter what life throws

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<v Speaker 1>at you, whether it's chaos or change or conflict, you

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<v Speaker 1>know you have your own back. I do just want

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<v Speaker 1>to clarify one thing for anyone out there who might

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<v Speaker 1>be having trouble with choose yourself. The concept when I

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<v Speaker 1>say I choose me, I am not talking about being selfish.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not about being self absorbed or ignoring other people's needs.

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<v Speaker 1>That's not the message at all. What I mean is

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<v Speaker 1>that we really need to fill our own cup first

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<v Speaker 1>so we have something to offer the people we love.

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<v Speaker 1>When you are grounded in who you are, when you're

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<v Speaker 1>taking care of your physical, emotional, mental needs, you can

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<v Speaker 1>actually show up better for everybody else in your life,

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<v Speaker 1>and that leads to number four. Redefine productivity. This is

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<v Speaker 1>a tough one for me. We think productivity means doing

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<v Speaker 1>folding the laundry, cleaning the floor, sending the emails, the scheduling,

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<v Speaker 1>the doctor's appointments, the pickups, the drop offs. But here's

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<v Speaker 1>the game changing truth. Rest is not lazy. It's your

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<v Speaker 1>maintenance for your soul. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

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<v Speaker 1>You've hurt that a million times, but it's so true.

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<v Speaker 1>If your self care time is on your calendar and

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<v Speaker 1>you follow through, that is one of the most important

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<v Speaker 1>and productive things you will do all week. Number five,

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<v Speaker 1>check your why before you're yes. So before agreeing to anything, pause,

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<v Speaker 1>ask yourself, why am I saying yes to this? Is

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<v Speaker 1>it out of joy or obligation? Always take a beat

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<v Speaker 1>before saying yes and determine if it's really right for you.

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<v Speaker 1>And finally, this is the simple one. Do what you

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<v Speaker 1>say you're gonna do in life and then just do

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<v Speaker 1>your best. That's it. Give yourself permission to let good

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<v Speaker 1>enough be enough. So let's bring it back. You don't

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<v Speaker 1>need a mythical twenty fifth hour. You don't need a

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<v Speaker 1>genie in a bottle. You just need to decide that

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<v Speaker 1>you are worth one of the twenty four hours you

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<v Speaker 1>already have. The real I Choose me moment here is

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<v Speaker 1>not finding the time, but claiming the worthiness to use

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<v Speaker 1>the time. It's accepting that your rest, your peace, and

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<v Speaker 1>your joy are just as important as the hardest deadline

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<v Speaker 1>or the most urgent RSVP. They are the foundation of

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<v Speaker 1>everything else you do. My challenge to you this week

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<v Speaker 1>don't get scared. I just want you to be open. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So let's do this. Let's open up our calendars, maybe

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<v Speaker 1>your phone. Maybe you have one of those og spiral

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<v Speaker 1>date book, daily planner things. God bless you, open it

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<v Speaker 1>up right now, and I want you to block out

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<v Speaker 1>two thirty minute time slots, not for a chore, not

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<v Speaker 1>for an errand for me time. Maybe maybe it's just

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<v Speaker 1>sitting under a tree and doing nothing and that's good enough.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe it's putting on your favorite music and having an

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<v Speaker 1>impromptu dance party in the kitchen. I love doing that.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's the thing. Don't let that wave of responsibility that

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<v Speaker 1>might pop up in the middle of this me time,

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<v Speaker 1>don't let it wash it away. Don't allow your own

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<v Speaker 1>mind to suck up your precious thirty minutes and the

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<v Speaker 1>last part of this challenge, tell me what are you

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<v Speaker 1>putting in your thirty minute me time space this week?

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<v Speaker 1>I want to know, so just take a second to

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<v Speaker 1>follow us on I Choose Me with Jenny Garth on

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<v Speaker 1>Instagram and let me know. I want to know. Thank

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<v Speaker 1>you for choosing me. Bye for now, Love you guys.