1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hello, 2 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 1: as promised, I am back and I'm so happy to 3 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: be here with you today. We are going to talk 4 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:20,560 Speaker 1: about choosing to find me time. On the last episode, 5 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:24,760 Speaker 1: I ranted a little about life, about running on fumes 6 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: and carrying all that heavyweight. There's the forever epic responsibility 7 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: of being a good mom or dad through every stage 8 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 1: and every age. Or maybe you're a parent to an 9 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 1: adult kid who still needs a lot of let's just 10 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: call it guidance, and we're trying to figure out how 11 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: to do this. You know, we're trying to stay connected 12 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: with our adult kids as they're leaving the nest, but 13 00:00:55,840 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 1: also knowing, you know, we gotta let them fly. So yeah, yeah, 14 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 1: figuring out that whole new rhythm, that whole vibe take 15 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: some work. Perhaps you're all the sudden facing having to 16 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: be a completely different kind of parent, like me to 17 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,360 Speaker 1: an eighty three year old who used to be my parent, 18 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:21,319 Speaker 1: kind of thing which requires a great amount of love, yes, 19 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:26,280 Speaker 1: but also patience, so much patience, like all the patients sometimes, 20 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:30,040 Speaker 1: but you know in your bones that's what you need 21 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 1: to be doing. Oh and then there's the relationships. They 22 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 1: are work. A commitment to grow alongside with your person, 23 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,839 Speaker 1: whether you are together or apart, is a lot of work. 24 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 1: You have to give that time or it will just 25 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 1: fizzle and you will grow apart, and we don't want 26 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: that to happen. Or maybe it's just all the hoops, 27 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: all the hoops that you've been jumping through trying to 28 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: hustle your schedule so that you can do all the things. 29 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,280 Speaker 1: But it got me to the root of the point. 30 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: There isn't and never will be a twenty fifth hour. 31 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,800 Speaker 1: That's the deal. So how do we actually make time 32 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:19,919 Speaker 1: for ourselves within our currently existing twenty four hours? First 33 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 1: things first, it starts with choosing to get just as 34 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: serious about caring for yourself as you are about any 35 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 1: other thing in your life. That's it. But here are 36 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 1: some of the ways I protect my me time. Okay, 37 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:44,639 Speaker 1: Number one, schedule yourself in I've said this so many times. Literally, 38 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 1: you have to block out time on your calendar the 39 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 1: way you would for a major meeting, doctor's appointment, an 40 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 1: important you know, thing with your kid. Write it down. 41 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 1: I write down JG time or ME time. Do not 42 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 1: disturb in big bold capital letters. It feels so silly 43 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 1: when I started it, but I felt like it forced 44 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: me to treat my self care as a non negotiable commitment. 45 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: If you see a blank hour in your day, what's 46 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: the first thing you're going to think about? Putting there 47 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: a chore? Right, Let's just stop that. Let's don't do that. Okay, 48 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:28,120 Speaker 1: Let's write in to that blank space, walk with no destination, 49 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 1: or thirty minutes to read a book before anything else 50 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 1: can nab it. It's a boundary with yourself and it works. 51 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 1: Number two is to protect your mornings. You don't have 52 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 1: to carve out an hour. Claim ten minutes that's so easy. 53 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 1: Ten minutes when you first wake up, before you look 54 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 1: at your phone. That's very important, very hard to do, 55 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: but very important, before you check your emails, before you 56 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 1: address the human standing in the kitchen asking for a snack, 57 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: just say no, nope. These ten minutes are mine. No noise, 58 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: no scrolling, just me sitting peacefully in that quiet, protected 59 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: space that is within me, and that is where everything changes. 60 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,679 Speaker 1: My entire perspective for the day. Just that ten minutes 61 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 1: for me. At the end of the day, it's my gardening. 62 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 1: I love ending my workdays in nature. I usually try 63 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: to stretch the time, and I will hide out in 64 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:41,160 Speaker 1: my little rose garden until past dark and then people 65 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: will come looking for me. But it's really my escape. 66 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: So find your rose garden. I don't know, maybe you're 67 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: starting to feel a shift just by listening to this. 68 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 1: You're starting to get a little motivated. But these things, 69 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,919 Speaker 1: they are going to change your game. Okay, So next 70 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,479 Speaker 1: I want to get into the powerful act of saying 71 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:05,480 Speaker 1: no and redefining productivity. Okay, so say no like it's 72 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,720 Speaker 1: a form of self care, because guess what it is. 73 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 1: Every no you say is a non essential request, creating 74 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: space for a yes that actually serves you and your 75 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: well being. Say no is not selfish. It is preventative 76 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:29,600 Speaker 1: medicine for burnout. You don't need a huge explanation when 77 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,920 Speaker 1: you're saying no to somebody. Just keep it simple. Try this. 78 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 1: That sounds really great, but I'm protecting my time right now. 79 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 1: I hope you can understand fair simple right or you 80 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: can say ah, I can't take that on right now. 81 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,919 Speaker 1: But thank you so much for thinking of me. Very short, 82 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 1: very sweet, and you know what, final, So people really 83 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,719 Speaker 1: get your message. 84 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:01,000 Speaker 2: If you've been ghosted, divorced, or left for someone else. 85 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,480 Speaker 2: Snap out of it. It's time for you to give 86 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,280 Speaker 2: some help by listening to us that I Do Part two. 87 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 2: Listen to I Do Part two on the iHeartRadio app, 88 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 2: Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. 89 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: At the core of this is something simple but so powerful, 90 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: the ability to choose yourself. That means tuning into your 91 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: own needs and building the kind of inner strength that 92 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 1: doesn't require validation from an outside source. It's about finding 93 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,680 Speaker 1: stability within yourself so that no matter what life throws 94 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:47,760 Speaker 1: at you, whether it's chaos or change or conflict, you 95 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: know you have your own back. I do just want 96 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 1: to clarify one thing for anyone out there who might 97 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: be having trouble with choose yourself. The concept when I 98 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:03,320 Speaker 1: say I choose me, I am not talking about being selfish. 99 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:08,479 Speaker 1: It's not about being self absorbed or ignoring other people's needs. 100 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 1: That's not the message at all. What I mean is 101 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 1: that we really need to fill our own cup first 102 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: so we have something to offer the people we love. 103 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: When you are grounded in who you are, when you're 104 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,920 Speaker 1: taking care of your physical, emotional, mental needs, you can 105 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: actually show up better for everybody else in your life, 106 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: and that leads to number four. Redefine productivity. This is 107 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: a tough one for me. We think productivity means doing 108 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: folding the laundry, cleaning the floor, sending the emails, the scheduling, 109 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 1: the doctor's appointments, the pickups, the drop offs. But here's 110 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 1: the game changing truth. Rest is not lazy. It's your 111 00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 1: maintenance for your soul. You cannot pour from an empty cup. 112 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: You've hurt that a million times, but it's so true. 113 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: If your self care time is on your calendar and 114 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 1: you follow through, that is one of the most important 115 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: and productive things you will do all week. Number five, 116 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: check your why before you're yes. So before agreeing to anything, pause, 117 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 1: ask yourself, why am I saying yes to this? Is 118 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: it out of joy or obligation? Always take a beat 119 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:32,440 Speaker 1: before saying yes and determine if it's really right for you. 120 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 1: And finally, this is the simple one. Do what you 121 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: say you're gonna do in life and then just do 122 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: your best. That's it. Give yourself permission to let good 123 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 1: enough be enough. So let's bring it back. You don't 124 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: need a mythical twenty fifth hour. You don't need a 125 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,080 Speaker 1: genie in a bottle. You just need to decide that 126 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:03,040 Speaker 1: you are worth one of the twenty four hours you 127 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:07,640 Speaker 1: already have. The real I Choose me moment here is 128 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 1: not finding the time, but claiming the worthiness to use 129 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 1: the time. It's accepting that your rest, your peace, and 130 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 1: your joy are just as important as the hardest deadline 131 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: or the most urgent RSVP. They are the foundation of 132 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 1: everything else you do. My challenge to you this week 133 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 1: don't get scared. I just want you to be open. Okay, 134 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 1: So let's do this. Let's open up our calendars, maybe 135 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,679 Speaker 1: your phone. Maybe you have one of those og spiral 136 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: date book, daily planner things. God bless you, open it 137 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 1: up right now, and I want you to block out 138 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:55,319 Speaker 1: two thirty minute time slots, not for a chore, not 139 00:09:55,360 --> 00:10:00,559 Speaker 1: for an errand for me time. Maybe maybe it's just 140 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: sitting under a tree and doing nothing and that's good enough. 141 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 1: Maybe it's putting on your favorite music and having an 142 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 1: impromptu dance party in the kitchen. I love doing that. 143 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:18,120 Speaker 1: Here's the thing. Don't let that wave of responsibility that 144 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,600 Speaker 1: might pop up in the middle of this me time, 145 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,200 Speaker 1: don't let it wash it away. Don't allow your own 146 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 1: mind to suck up your precious thirty minutes and the 147 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 1: last part of this challenge, tell me what are you 148 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,960 Speaker 1: putting in your thirty minute me time space this week? 149 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: I want to know, so just take a second to 150 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,840 Speaker 1: follow us on I Choose Me with Jenny Garth on 151 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 1: Instagram and let me know. I want to know. Thank 152 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 1: you for choosing me. Bye for now, Love you guys.