1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: This is Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous in Depth. 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 1: We got an in depth episode with Colton Underwood. It's 3 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:10,960 Speaker 1: been a while since he's been on the Almost Famous podcast. 4 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: We're pumped to have him here. Colton Welcome, Well, it's 5 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,919 Speaker 1: nice to be here. Hello, Ashley, Hello, Bit Hello Hello. 6 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 1: I mean, wow, couldn't more things have happened in your 7 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,279 Speaker 1: life since you were here? I don't know. I guess 8 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 1: it was like two someven years ago. Uh No, some 9 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: highs and some lows for sure, And yeah, COVID changed 10 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:36,200 Speaker 1: a lot. I had a time hop on my Instagram 11 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: come up the other day and it was a picture 12 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 1: of you meet Jared Ari Lauren and you and Cassie 13 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 1: from Yeah, from that movie premiere. And I was like 14 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,600 Speaker 1: looking at this picture and it's like some big life 15 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 1: event happened with pretty much everyone. It's crazy. Yeah, I 16 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: mean that was I think that was like right before 17 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: the world sort of shut down to it was legit 18 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: like two yeah, Yeah, we're like, okay, let's get somewhere 19 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:07,960 Speaker 1: where we're okay with staying for the next two months. Yeah, now, 20 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,480 Speaker 1: uh walk us through it. Uh coldon. I mean, we 21 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: obviously just mentioned a ton has gone on in your life, 22 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 1: including um, professionally, personally, emotionally. Um, how has these last? 23 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,119 Speaker 1: I mean if we say two years, it's probably more 24 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 1: like about a year and nine months. How have they 25 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 1: been for you? Um? I mean rocky? It's I mean, 26 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: there's no way to like sugarcoat it. I mean, it 27 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 1: hasn't been the easiest process. And I'm really happy, really 28 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 1: good now, but it took a lot of work to 29 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 1: get there. And I mean, look, it just was like 30 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,280 Speaker 1: it was covered pretty much in the documentary as far 31 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 1: as like how things went right after the breakup and 32 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: COVID and all of that. But at the end of it, 33 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: I mean, look, I could have handled a lot of 34 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: things better and changed a lot of you know, and 35 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 1: saved a lot of people a lot of time. But um, 36 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, like you know, my 37 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 1: path to coming out, my path to finding happiness was 38 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:15,119 Speaker 1: definitely one that was pretty rocky. Now, Yeah, I mean 39 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,079 Speaker 1: I think, but we get to finish that up, then 40 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 1: what have you learned? Maybe can we we close that 41 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: thought with like where you sit today looking back on it, 42 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: Like what what's changed within you? And what new like 43 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:31,920 Speaker 1: things have you started to focus on your life? I 44 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: think I found inner peace, I mean, and it's and 45 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 1: it's not something that like is I find and you 46 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,959 Speaker 1: get to keep all the time, like it's a work 47 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 1: in progress. It's something that I'm still trying to find. 48 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,240 Speaker 1: What's going to keep that piece inside of me and 49 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: how I'm gonna try to remain you know, true to 50 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 1: who I am in all times and all aspects of 51 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 1: my life. I think there's a lot of me, a 52 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 1: lot of me that was overcompensating a lot of different 53 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 1: aspects of my life, a lot of me that was 54 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: trying to be somebody who I wasn't. So now that 55 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 1: I have found that, I want to keep on that 56 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: path and I want to keep you know, holding myself 57 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 1: accountable and surrounding myself by good people and really just 58 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 1: cutting out things in life that don't and that aren't 59 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 1: good for me or healthy for me. Um. So you 60 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 1: talk about what we can talk about documentary a little 61 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: bit later, but in the documentary usually talk about what 62 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: wich is called coming Out Colton on Netflix, Cassie's brought 63 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,799 Speaker 1: up a number of times. Of course, it was a 64 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 1: huge part of your life and a lot of stuff 65 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,920 Speaker 1: that you went through. She we haven't heard from until 66 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: perhaps tomorrow night she's might be on the Bachelor finale. 67 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 1: How do you do you feel like she's going to speak? 68 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: Do you how do you foresee a conversation with her? 69 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: Maybe Jesse Palmer going, I have I have no clue? 70 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 1: Um I did. I did know that she was going 71 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: on one of the producer's text me just to give 72 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: me heads up, um, which I mean obviously they don't 73 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,360 Speaker 1: even owe me that at this point. But I did 74 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 1: appreciate that. But I don't mean I have no clue. 75 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 1: I and whatever she needs to say, like I've always 76 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 1: from the very beginning, you know, whatever she has to 77 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: say event or do, like I'm you know, I obviously 78 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: have no control over that. So it's, you know, whatever 79 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: she feels like she needs to do. It is weird. Um, Well, 80 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,599 Speaker 1: first off, they didn't owe you that. I haven't had 81 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 1: a producer text me I've bet in three years. I 82 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,840 Speaker 1: mean I don't, I don't think, so they don't give 83 00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 1: me any heads up anymore. And then I just saw 84 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:30,520 Speaker 1: a preview of my proposal during the Bachelor, was like, 85 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 1: come on, guys, I'm married, Like, can we stop? ABC? 86 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 1: But I know they How does that make you feel? Though? 87 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: Because that's that's something, you know, And I got caught 88 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 1: in the media, and I mean, obviously I don't want to, like, um, 89 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 1: avoid the elephant in the room. I mean the title 90 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 1: of me if you calling out for lying, Like you know, 91 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: I think the Bachelor franchise for me became just so 92 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 1: toxic in such a business that I didn't want to 93 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: be involved in with how they handle things like that. 94 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 1: So I stepped away. And UM, I just I don't know, like, 95 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,840 Speaker 1: how do you record, you know, reconcile that with yourself 96 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 1: internally when they continue to do things that don't sit 97 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,599 Speaker 1: well with you or don't give your heads up. Well, yeah, 98 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 1: I'd love to talk about UM. I think there's two 99 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: things there. I'd love to talk about. UM saying that 100 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: nobody in batin Nations supported you, UM, because that hurt 101 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 1: pretty good, UM from a lot of people, like from 102 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 1: a couple of people that I knew, just like we 103 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:29,039 Speaker 1: like Colton. I don't know why he's saying this about 104 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,719 Speaker 1: us like this was, you know. I fully support what 105 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: he's doing. I don't love the path that it took, 106 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: and I can't even comment on that, but I just 107 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: don't love that he came out and said that, So 108 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: that's one thing we'll talk about a second personally. UM, 109 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,440 Speaker 1: I think it's it's more hard for Jessica than it 110 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:50,480 Speaker 1: is for me. For me, it is a memory. Uh, 111 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: it is a lot of times a blur in my life. 112 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: Obviously was a very real relationship and a very real 113 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: time for me that um almost you know that I've 114 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,720 Speaker 1: worked hard on moving on from Like there wasn't like 115 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:04,839 Speaker 1: this immediately like okay, it's over now I can get 116 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:07,719 Speaker 1: past It's like no, that's you know, that relationship affected 117 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 1: me in a lot of different ways, good and bad. 118 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:14,159 Speaker 1: Um and uh. And so I've worked personally on getting 119 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: away from that to then invest fully into my wife. 120 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 1: Like that's that's like that's a big deal. Um, that's 121 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,679 Speaker 1: hard enough, you know, is to to to be married 122 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 1: and to you know, give up a lot of yourself 123 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: for your partner. But um, I also, I think at 124 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 1: this point have understood that I agreed to the show. 125 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: You know, fully agreed to it, said I am, I'm 126 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: on this show. I'm going to now be the lead 127 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 1: of this show, and whatever happens you I fully understand 128 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: that you own the rights to everything that happens on 129 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 1: this season. For perpetuity. And so however you use that, 130 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:55,719 Speaker 1: I cannot be upset because I agreed to that. I 131 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 1: don't have to like it. I don't have to enjoy it. 132 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 1: And I hope they respect, you know, I hope they 133 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: care about me enough at this point where they're like, 134 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to show something that like ruins his 135 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,840 Speaker 1: marriage or like, you know not maybe I don't know 136 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 1: if they have that power, but they don't show something 137 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 1: that like causes you know, drama within my marriage. Um, 138 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 1: I hope they respect me enough for that. I don't know, 139 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: you know, that's yet to be seen. But it's still 140 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 1: isn't fun, and it's still is not ideal, and it's 141 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 1: still like makes me cringe and I'm like, gosh, dang it, 142 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 1: Like I don't want to watch myself with another human. 143 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 1: Like that's where my mind's at. So but I understand, 144 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: I understand what I did. I understand that I gave 145 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: it up, and uh, as much as I've moved on 146 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: and and I don't have that much of a connection 147 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: anymore with them, I understand that they still have that 148 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:42,240 Speaker 1: piece of me, and shoot, they want to show a 149 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 1: couple more clips of me, Maybe that helps my social 150 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: media following I don't know. Um, you guys are doing 151 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:51,320 Speaker 1: something right. Access to their lead isn't the easiest thing. 152 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 1: Must not be in the in the dog in the 153 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 1: dog hole anymore. UM. Okay. So then the second part 154 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 1: of that um is, obviously if you hear some background noise. 155 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: My I do have a puppy of the house and 156 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 1: stuff gets knocked over and stuff gets growed out. So 157 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: I just apologize for that. Um. You know, the headlines 158 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 1: came out, Ueah, what what cause? And I'll tell you 159 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 1: my side of what happened. UM, so that you have 160 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 1: some context, because I think those headlines oftentimes get skewed 161 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 1: and they're good clip bait. But I did say what 162 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,920 Speaker 1: I said. I said, this isn't true. Like you know, 163 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 1: I know people that reached out to Colton. I reached 164 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: out to Colton. Um. I had messages from people that 165 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:37,679 Speaker 1: I could show you right now saying, Uh, you claim 166 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:42,560 Speaker 1: to be inclusive, you you claim to be welcoming. Yet 167 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: Colton has just came out and said nobody from Bachelor 168 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 1: Nation supported him and Ben. You wer a lead on 169 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,680 Speaker 1: the on a season you were on Colton season. You 170 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 1: live in Denver, How can you not support him, and 171 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,679 Speaker 1: I say that's not fair to That's not fair, And 172 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: so that's where I was coming from. Was I felt 173 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 1: like that statement was disregarding a couple of your friends 174 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: within you know, maybe not close friends anymore, but friends 175 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 1: who said, hey, I just want to see Colton happy 176 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 1: or I want to see Colton with that inner piece, 177 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: like I can't be mad at this decision he's made 178 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,960 Speaker 1: in his life to come out like that's I want to. 179 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,480 Speaker 1: I want to be at least for him to know 180 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: that somebody from this world says, hey, that's not like 181 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,040 Speaker 1: when I'm mad at you for that. And so I 182 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: guess that's where I was coming from, and it would 183 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: be great too to hear what you know, your side 184 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,000 Speaker 1: of that. Yeah, well, I mean first like the fact 185 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:36,120 Speaker 1: that even got those messages, I'll say sorry because you know, 186 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: after coming out, you did reach out to me. I 187 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 1: think where you were starting at the beginning, As you know, 188 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 1: headlines I have to you know, get clicks and move things, 189 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 1: and the headline that came out I was more so. 190 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 1: And I just I actually just watched the interview back 191 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,000 Speaker 1: just to make sure that I wasn't going to come 192 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 1: on here and not have the facts, but it was 193 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,640 Speaker 1: more so saying, like when I was going through my 194 00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 1: mental spiral and my downfall, like when the news first 195 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,720 Speaker 1: broke of what was going on between me and my ex, 196 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,440 Speaker 1: the only person who did reach out was Chris. I 197 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 1: had no support from the network, I had no support 198 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 1: from the production company. I had no support from my 199 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: own mental health. And I was really in a dark place. 200 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: And I'd share that with with people in production how 201 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 1: bad it was for me. And I think that's more 202 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 1: where I was speaking from at that moment in that interview, 203 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 1: when they were asking me, do I still watch a show? 204 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 1: And I said, don't you know, I don't have a 205 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,000 Speaker 1: good relationship. It's not for me. Actually, the only person 206 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,080 Speaker 1: I truly keep in touch with, and by the way, 207 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 1: keeping in touch for me is a text once twice 208 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: a month to Chris checking in or congratulating him on 209 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: a milestone or victory. I don't And maybe it wasn't 210 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 1: a different interview where I said that, and if I did, 211 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: I am sorry for if they did ask me if 212 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 1: anybody since coming out had reached out. But that was 213 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: more so where I was speaking from, as far as 214 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: when I was going through the mental health side of things. 215 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,840 Speaker 1: I didn't really And look, the thing is like I 216 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,319 Speaker 1: didn't expect that from either of you, because you know, 217 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 1: while we have a lot of risk for each other, 218 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,400 Speaker 1: we're not the closest of friends and there's nothing wrong 219 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: with that. You know, people come in and out of 220 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 1: your life. So I think that's sort of sort of 221 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 1: more so where I was coming from. And I didn't 222 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,839 Speaker 1: definitely didn't mean to. But when all of a sudden 223 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 1: I got thrown back on me. I had you, I 224 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 1: had Nick Vial, which like reading messages out on his thing, 225 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 1: whatever he's got to do for his you know, his 226 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 1: socials and engagement and stuff, and then Tatia. It just 227 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 1: was like a bombardment of misunder like misunderstandings at the time, 228 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: and they sort of took things how they wanted to. 229 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 1: But I mean, truly to you, I'm sorry for that, 230 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 1: but I did just I mean, I was making sure 231 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 1: that I didn't misspeak in that and say like, hey, 232 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: since coming out, nobody's reached out to because that definitely 233 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 1: wouldn't have been true. Yeah. Well yeah, and I you know, 234 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,680 Speaker 1: at this point, it is a if you were hurt 235 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,320 Speaker 1: by during that time, or if you felt isolated alone. 236 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,200 Speaker 1: I mean, you didn't make it easy in yourself. You 237 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: change your number and you shut down your social media accounts, 238 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,559 Speaker 1: and so I mean I kept in touch with you 239 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 1: from a distance, and I'm sure your friends that you're 240 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 1: close friends, who do did you have your new number? Um? 241 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 1: And did have access to you? Probably told you that 242 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,320 Speaker 1: It was not not often that I would have just 243 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: asked him how is he doing? Like is he good? 244 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 1: Is he okay? I do actually I do remember that 245 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 1: Eric said, he said, Hey, I was just with Ben 246 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 1: the other night and he wanted to check in on you. 247 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 1: So I do, I do actually remember that. So I 248 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 1: can't I can't say that. So and you've been You've 249 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 1: always been a great human being and the same with 250 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,560 Speaker 1: you actually, Like I mean, I obviously wouldn't be sitting 251 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,120 Speaker 1: here if and I have respect for how you guys 252 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,120 Speaker 1: have gone through this franchise, because it's not an easy 253 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:37,920 Speaker 1: thing to go through. You both have handled it with 254 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,959 Speaker 1: grace and humility the entire time, no matter how you're 255 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 1: being portrayed or what's going on in the media. So 256 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,679 Speaker 1: I mean, I at least owe that to you to say, like, 257 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: I am sorry for how things happened in the in 258 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,959 Speaker 1: the precedent the media. And also you know, I didn't 259 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,839 Speaker 1: make it easy and I don't and that's something I'm 260 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: still continuing to work on. Is I shut off and 261 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 1: I shut down pretty quick when when things aren't good. Yeah, 262 00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,880 Speaker 1: well it's water on the bridge. I'm glad we could 263 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,080 Speaker 1: tell about it, um, because once you talk about it, 264 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: then there's no reason to to hold it in or 265 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 1: to keep perpetuating the thing that happened. I just I 266 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 1: wanted to make sure that when you came on that 267 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: we we you knew that you weren't on an island alone. Um, 268 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 1: that you you know that no matter how hard or 269 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 1: no matter how many decisions that weren't great, and we're 270 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 1: you know, talked about, we're happening maybe in your life 271 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:31,000 Speaker 1: that like your mental health and your stability and your 272 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,839 Speaker 1: ability to process and work towards things was not something 273 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: that we neglected or said, hey, hey good for Colton. 274 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 1: Screw you go run you know, run off on your 275 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,720 Speaker 1: own and and you know, fall off a bridge. Like 276 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: that's not what all we were saying. In fact, like 277 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 1: you know, I was hoping you heard and knew that, 278 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:51,400 Speaker 1: like we worked towards reaching out to you. UM, and 279 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 1: that's why it hurt, because it was like, I don't 280 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,840 Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on here. I don't know 281 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,840 Speaker 1: why this is being said. Um, that's not fair to 282 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 1: anybody that tried to reach out. Is it makes people 283 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 1: feel look like they didn't care. And that couldn't have 284 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: been farther from the truth. And so that book is closed. UM, 285 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,600 Speaker 1: and now we can move by the way, which by 286 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,440 Speaker 1: the way, I have the gift you gave me right here. 287 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,600 Speaker 1: Thank you. Oh wait a second, So I actually was 288 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:19,640 Speaker 1: thinking about asking you this question. Holton is holding up 289 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 1: a book about explain a little bit about what it's about. 290 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,800 Speaker 1: It's about. Um, after coming out, one of the things 291 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 1: that Ben and I discussed was how I want to 292 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 1: remain a Christian. And obviously after coming out, I had 293 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 1: the internal battle of the homosexuality christian about and sort 294 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 1: of battle that goes on. And Ben sent me the 295 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: book by Kolby Martin called on Clover to help with 296 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 1: my path and my road, um in you know, remaining 297 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: a Christian and um, you know, wrestling the fact that 298 00:14:56,680 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 1: you know I'm gay. So it's been a great resource. 299 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 1: I'm not I will disclose. I'm not finished with it. 300 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: I've come in and read chunks of it, very similar 301 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 1: to how I treat my my Bible study and my 302 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 1: marks there, read a chapter here, paragraph there. Um, But 303 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 1: it's a journey that I'm still on. Yeah, just yeah, 304 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 1: I mean I guess that, you know, the hope is 305 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,480 Speaker 1: that you, no matter what, you just don't feel alone 306 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 1: in this Um. That's not fun, that's not ideal, and 307 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 1: that's not good for anybody in this world. So I 308 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 1: brought that up because, um, there are three things that, now, 309 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:41,480 Speaker 1: like six months removed from watching your documentary, I have 310 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,600 Speaker 1: that stuck with me. One it was the religion episode, 311 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: which was like honestly fascinating, um, which you just kind 312 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,760 Speaker 1: of said you're still on that journey of kind of 313 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 1: figuring out that. And two was the episode about you 314 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: dating and get out there and like just dating in 315 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,840 Speaker 1: like the gay community, which you felt is like so 316 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 1: much different. And I don't know why I found myself 317 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,960 Speaker 1: like relating to you so much in that episode because 318 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 1: you were like, I am not like I don't want 319 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: to be in two parties like this is like way 320 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 1: too extroverted for me. And I was thinking I was like, oh, man, 321 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 1: is this how like like why does he have to 322 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,160 Speaker 1: date like this? Like where it's like all just like 323 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 1: a party. I don't know. And it made me nervous 324 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 1: maybe yeah, the giant group dat made me nervous. For you, So, 325 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: how did you come about meeting your fiance? Were you 326 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 1: able to navigate the gay um dating world in a 327 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 1: way that was just like maybe a little bit calmer. Also, 328 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:54,840 Speaker 1: congratulations on your engagement and congratulations that was what I 329 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 1: was going to move into. And so we can process 330 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,160 Speaker 1: now and totally turn the table and say congratulations to 331 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:03,880 Speaker 1: you on your engagement. But okay, so yeah, oh gosh, 332 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:08,480 Speaker 1: well we'll get like light lighter now. But please tell 333 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,919 Speaker 1: me how like dating initially went. Oh jeez, I was 334 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:16,120 Speaker 1: so intimidated because what I knew of the gay community, 335 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,680 Speaker 1: which was very little, because I was so scared to 336 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,760 Speaker 1: even look in that direction because I didn't want to 337 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,400 Speaker 1: be called out or found out. Um, all I knew 338 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 1: is it like they really enjoyed themselves in the gay community. 339 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 1: They like to party and you know, do amazing things. Uh, 340 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,159 Speaker 1: And I didn't really know how to get into it. 341 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,959 Speaker 1: And that was obviously just showing how awkward I was 342 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,439 Speaker 1: in that group setting and how uncomfortable I still was 343 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,800 Speaker 1: with dating. And I actually truly honestly didn't date until 344 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,399 Speaker 1: after the show wrapped, like legitimately, and when it did, 345 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 1: I went on. I think I went on two or 346 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:54,480 Speaker 1: three different dates, and I mean they went okay. It 347 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:59,159 Speaker 1: wasn't anything great, um, and with different people, two or 348 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:02,359 Speaker 1: three different people. Yeah. I think after coming out, I 349 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:06,639 Speaker 1: dated five people before I met Jordan's um, and a 350 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,120 Speaker 1: couple of them twice or three times. But it just 351 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,679 Speaker 1: was nothing like my connection was with Jordan when we 352 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,439 Speaker 1: first met and we met her a mutual friend here 353 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 1: in l So. Um, it was just one of those 354 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,439 Speaker 1: things that we hit it off and we went on 355 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 1: you know, there was a trip that a bunch of 356 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 1: us went on together and the connection was there and 357 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,080 Speaker 1: it was just an awesome time. Okay. So when you 358 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:30,240 Speaker 1: did meet, was it like love at first sight? Was 359 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 1: it like boom, oh my god, like I'm feeling this 360 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,800 Speaker 1: or was it a slow grow or like a slow 361 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,239 Speaker 1: word grow? It was obviously not slow. You guys got 362 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: engaged after like six months? Yeah? No. Um, And once 363 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,520 Speaker 1: again another amazing part that I can thank the Bachelor 364 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: franchise for because I didn't like when I I dated 365 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,520 Speaker 1: with so much intent now, which I think that's why 366 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 1: it's so easy for me to move through the first 367 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 1: few people that I was dating, because I was like, Okay, 368 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,919 Speaker 1: I asked the I asked questions, and I bring up 369 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,200 Speaker 1: topics that a lot of couples hold on too until 370 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 1: they're like two, three or four months into dating. And 371 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,120 Speaker 1: that is because of just sort of what I went 372 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,959 Speaker 1: through the last two years. So um, we moved pretty quickly, 373 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: and I would say like, yes, I was looking, but 374 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 1: I didn't know that I was looking for that right away, 375 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 1: and when it happened, I just didn't want to hold back. 376 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 1: There was no there was no holding back for me. 377 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,480 Speaker 1: There was no playing at safe. I was going to 378 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,720 Speaker 1: be criticized one way or another, you know, by the 379 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 1: public of coming out and getting engaged too soon, or 380 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,159 Speaker 1: whether you know I came out and they saw me 381 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,200 Speaker 1: at clubs and who, Like I mean, I was gonna 382 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:32,639 Speaker 1: get shamed or hate for either route that I decided 383 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,479 Speaker 1: to choose. And I chose my happiness and somebody who 384 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:39,119 Speaker 1: makes me extremely happy and somebody who I extremely happy 385 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,160 Speaker 1: and we have an amazing life together. He's so supportive. 386 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,400 Speaker 1: I can't say enough good things about him. But it 387 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:48,359 Speaker 1: was truly like this. I mean, it was so easy 388 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,800 Speaker 1: and so natural and so meant to be and there 389 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,199 Speaker 1: was no holding back the and and I don't know 390 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:58,800 Speaker 1: if I have the timeline here correct um, but when 391 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:03,720 Speaker 1: you are in the public spotlight, dating can be difficult. 392 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: And I remember on this podcast reading a headline that 393 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,800 Speaker 1: you were on a trip was somebody that was rumored 394 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 1: to be your like boyfriend or partner or like I 395 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,920 Speaker 1: don't even know if they called it that yet, or 396 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,320 Speaker 1: like that you're interested in so like now that you 397 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,919 Speaker 1: just told us the story of you went on a 398 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 1: trip and then the sparks flew like that had to 399 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:29,200 Speaker 1: be very early on in your relationship. Did it make 400 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,280 Speaker 1: it weird? Did it put a hard pressure on it? 401 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 1: Or was it like let's just dive in and go. 402 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,480 Speaker 1: Like how was your reaction to these headlines that came 403 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: out so quickly after you started, you know, dating? Oh gosh, 404 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 1: I I did not like it. I mean I sort 405 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:47,200 Speaker 1: of I just wanted to protect our bubble and what 406 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,160 Speaker 1: we what we were building and having together. And like 407 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,479 Speaker 1: I so vividly I know what you mean. We were 408 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:55,640 Speaker 1: in Hawaii at the time, and I know exactly who 409 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 1: it was filming and taking the picture because it was 410 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:02,199 Speaker 1: a private ish resort um. And when that got leaked, 411 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 1: you know, I just my heart sunk for a second. 412 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,800 Speaker 1: But then also I remember, like, look, you are the 413 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,560 Speaker 1: creator of your own happiness, like so, so the old 414 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,119 Speaker 1: Culton would have retaliated in the press or done something 415 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 1: on my social media. But then like, it doesn't matter 416 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,760 Speaker 1: what the headlines saying with the public things like I 417 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 1: just wanted to be happy. But I do remember like 418 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,399 Speaker 1: it was just it was a little upsetting that I 419 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 1: got out, just because I would have rather handle it 420 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,720 Speaker 1: how I needed, how mentally and how we both agreed 421 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,879 Speaker 1: that we wanted to handle it. But once again, you 422 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,640 Speaker 1: can't like as much as we wanted to try to hide, 423 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 1: it was going to come out one way or another. Well, 424 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 1: tell us about the proposal. Who proposed? Uh, he proposed 425 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:45,160 Speaker 1: to me, and so did you. Great we did ended 426 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,960 Speaker 1: up doing necklaces. So we have our burst stones and 427 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 1: our first initial and then they're interlocked on our necklaces. 428 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,760 Speaker 1: And I did not expect we had. We obviously had 429 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,440 Speaker 1: a conversation um prior to saying like, look, I think 430 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: we're both ready, or we didn't say I think we're 431 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:05,439 Speaker 1: both ready, and I just said, like, look, I would 432 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,199 Speaker 1: love to be surprised, just whenever you feel like that is. 433 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,639 Speaker 1: And after my careiode pir day. We went on a 434 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 1: trip and it was an amazing surprise and an amazing weekend. 435 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 1: Can you walk me through I'm ignorant to this colton? Um? 436 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,399 Speaker 1: Like how like how did you know that he was 437 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,000 Speaker 1: going to propose to you? Like, how like did that 438 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,320 Speaker 1: process go where you said, I want to be surprised. 439 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:29,520 Speaker 1: I want to be the person getting asked. It was 440 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 1: just a conversation that we had. Um, I mean they're there. 441 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 1: I think that's what's also beautiful about being gay is 442 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:41,760 Speaker 1: there's really no rules and there's no um like expectations 443 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 1: of gender roles now like of like the man has 444 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,440 Speaker 1: to do this, woman has to do this. And so 445 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,600 Speaker 1: we just had the open and honest conversation and I 446 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,439 Speaker 1: was like I came from a pastor. I was always 447 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 1: expected to get down on a knee and he um, 448 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:59,120 Speaker 1: he and his past had um some things that both 449 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,159 Speaker 1: made our conversation and lead to hey, when you're when 450 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,040 Speaker 1: when you feel I'm giving you the trust in the 451 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,880 Speaker 1: power to say, hey, when you feel like the time 452 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 1: is right, you asked me and that was and he agreed, 453 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 1: and it's like that sounds great. I appreciate that. So 454 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,800 Speaker 1: it's just a healthy conversation. But it's an example of 455 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,879 Speaker 1: our communication. Yeah, I was gonna say, it's an example 456 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 1: of your communication amongst each other. Is um is being 457 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,520 Speaker 1: able to talk through that those stuff. There's big decisions 458 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: in life. Yeah, I mean, that's That's one thing that 459 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 1: really struck me with with Jordan is the way that 460 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,960 Speaker 1: we communicate in the way that we um. We sort 461 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,240 Speaker 1: of knit problems in the bud so like before it 462 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,720 Speaker 1: becomes a big issue in our relationship, we already just ahead. 463 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 1: You know. That didn't make me feel great. I didn't 464 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 1: like that, which is a little new to me. Um 465 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 1: As as far as having that direct conversation in a relationship, 466 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 1: you don't have to guess what the other person is thinking. 467 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 1: It's like, hey, can you work on this? Can you 468 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,240 Speaker 1: work on that? And there's nothing We'll never get to 469 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 1: a point where we're trying to change one another, but 470 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 1: it's it's just such a healthy dynamic and it's something 471 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,040 Speaker 1: that I just really appreciate and didn't know that I 472 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:03,160 Speaker 1: needed need to work on that myself. Jessica just said yesterday, 473 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:04,400 Speaker 1: she goes, it feels like you've been off the last 474 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 1: couple days like I have. She's like, why don't you 475 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 1: tell me? And I was like, I don't know. I 476 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:11,680 Speaker 1: just felt like it was easier to run away. Um, yeah, 477 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 1: I need to work on that's what does too. Okay, 478 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,880 Speaker 1: let's talk about the conversation that you guys have must 479 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 1: have had about kids, because I know that that is 480 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,359 Speaker 1: something that you want. Is it important to you? So 481 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 1: where do you stand there with Jordan's Well, I had 482 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,119 Speaker 1: to do a lot of research into figuring out how 483 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 1: the kid's process worked. And now that i'm that, I'm 484 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,639 Speaker 1: out and happily in a gay relationship. Um yeah, so 485 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 1: we thinking adoption? Are we thinking, you know, sarrogate, We're 486 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,600 Speaker 1: thinking sag. Yeah. So there's a lot of work that 487 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,000 Speaker 1: goes into that. I did not know all of the 488 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:49,720 Speaker 1: all of the steps, and um, I'm really really excited 489 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:54,720 Speaker 1: about that the process and it's pretty, um scientifically unbelievable 490 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,960 Speaker 1: the amount of choices you get to make now when 491 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: it comes to building your embryos. So it's a very 492 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,480 Speaker 1: it's a very very exciting process and something that we're 493 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: excited to start and we have not started yet, but 494 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,639 Speaker 1: we've had the conversation too started and figure out what 495 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,120 Speaker 1: that's gonna look like. Timeline wise, cool in your last 496 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:14,479 Speaker 1: two years are insane, I mean really like, there's so 497 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 1: much has happened, and you know, I don't know what 498 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 1: your timeline is for kids, but add kids in the 499 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 1: you know, two and a half year mark, and I 500 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,959 Speaker 1: don't know how you're ever going to speed back up 501 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,159 Speaker 1: to the pace that life has been running for you, 502 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,920 Speaker 1: because it's not only you know that you came out 503 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 1: that you had a Netflix documentary UM, that you processed 504 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:37,199 Speaker 1: a lot and like, as you mentioned, internally and emotionally 505 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,719 Speaker 1: and had to work through a lot of things personally. 506 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,439 Speaker 1: But then you have a new show coming out on 507 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,920 Speaker 1: CBS UH, and it's one of the reasons that you're 508 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,680 Speaker 1: here with us today is a talk about this show. 509 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:52,600 Speaker 1: I believe it's called Beyond the Edge UM on CBS UH. 510 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,720 Speaker 1: I guess my first question, the one and most intrigued by, 511 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,399 Speaker 1: is how in the world did you find time to 512 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 1: film anything right now with all these other things going well? 513 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:03,879 Speaker 1: To be honest with you, I went into filming for 514 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 1: this UM. I would say a few months after my 515 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:13,680 Speaker 1: Netflix show wrapped, UM, just because I sort of said 516 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,960 Speaker 1: to my my business team, is like, I sort of 517 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,240 Speaker 1: just need something light and fun and I want to 518 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,160 Speaker 1: like decompress a little bit because these last two years 519 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,760 Speaker 1: have been so heavy and for me. So I was like, 520 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,440 Speaker 1: can you can you find something that maybe I can 521 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,720 Speaker 1: go work on and has a charity component. And this 522 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:34,639 Speaker 1: show came up called Beyond the Edge and um it 523 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,320 Speaker 1: was competition outdoors and for charity, and I said, sign 524 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: me up please. And it's no secret. I mean I 525 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 1: like being on TV. I like the entertainment industry. I 526 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,800 Speaker 1: love being involved in it. UM. So I wanted to 527 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:52,439 Speaker 1: to stay in it. UM. And I will say this 528 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,679 Speaker 1: like it was a It was a decision that I 529 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,240 Speaker 1: had to talk through not only with with my team, 530 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,280 Speaker 1: but my family too, just because I was still in 531 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 1: such a wrongvulnerable place after filming that show. But I 532 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,399 Speaker 1: got and I still am in therapy. I got the 533 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,760 Speaker 1: help that I needed and really stayed on track and 534 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,880 Speaker 1: on focus and it's an integral part of my schedule 535 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,040 Speaker 1: now just to make sure that I can stay mentally 536 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:17,240 Speaker 1: as healthy as I can while balancing all of these things. Um. 537 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,919 Speaker 1: But the show is unbelievable and I mean we can 538 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:21,679 Speaker 1: get into that too if you want. But as far 539 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:25,119 Speaker 1: as the balance of life right now, just trying to 540 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,560 Speaker 1: find that rhythm and that routine of what works for 541 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:42,240 Speaker 1: me and what doesn't UM has has really helped. Okay. 542 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:45,040 Speaker 1: So I said earlier that there was three things that 543 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,800 Speaker 1: stood out to me about the documentary six months removed, 544 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,120 Speaker 1: and now I realized there's for Can I talk about 545 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,399 Speaker 1: the last two? Yeah, let's go for it. So I 546 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,200 Speaker 1: know we need to talk more about the CBS show, 547 00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,800 Speaker 1: but I do feel like I'm hung up on your 548 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,480 Speaker 1: last and then we can go to the future. UM. Okay. 549 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:05,120 Speaker 1: So your relationship with your dad, he headlines came out 550 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,920 Speaker 1: then that he did not appreciate you coming out to 551 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 1: him on camera. First off, what did you think that 552 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:13,840 Speaker 1: the documentary was about? Like? How did you hide this 553 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,800 Speaker 1: for so long? And secondly, I just want to say 554 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 1: that was pretty awesome to see how your relationship evolved 555 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,720 Speaker 1: throughout those ex episodes. He became very supportive and I'm 556 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,000 Speaker 1: assuming that he's very supportive of Jordan's and you now 557 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,520 Speaker 1: but first let's go back to how did he get 558 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:32,840 Speaker 1: over you coming out to him on film? Yeah, well, 559 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,040 Speaker 1: I think to understand that. I'll back up a little 560 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:42,120 Speaker 1: bit too, because the documentary I didn't like completely seek out. Um. 561 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 1: What ended up happening was I was already working with 562 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 1: this production company on another show that involved a completely 563 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,160 Speaker 1: different group of people prior to me going through sort 564 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:56,720 Speaker 1: of my spiral down. Once that happened, I dropped, like 565 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 1: Ben said, I changed my number and moved back to Colorado, 566 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 1: dropped off the face to the earth and handled my 567 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 1: you know, what I was going through mentally private, very privately. Um. 568 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,040 Speaker 1: And they had enough information from working with me in 569 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:11,920 Speaker 1: the past to realize, you know, at that time, I 570 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,840 Speaker 1: was being blackmailed. At that time, there was a you know, 571 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,440 Speaker 1: a handful of people running around l A saying I 572 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,360 Speaker 1: was gay. So they sort of figured out the pieces 573 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,680 Speaker 1: and they when they reapproached me, they're just saying, hey, 574 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,080 Speaker 1: you know, we would love to take this on if 575 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 1: you ever feel like you have you want to come out, 576 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,360 Speaker 1: like let us know and like sort of wink wink, 577 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 1: like we'll be here for you. Is the production companies 578 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 1: ran by two gay men and I trusted them, um, 579 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,360 Speaker 1: and after conversations of how we were going to handle this, 580 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,040 Speaker 1: I felt comfortable enough to put my family in that position, 581 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,160 Speaker 1: because it is a very uncomfortable position to be put in, um, 582 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 1: and that goes for everybody who was on the show. 583 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 1: So to answer your question directly, now, I just told 584 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 1: my dad it was a pick up off of where 585 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,080 Speaker 1: Life After the Bachelor, I mean basically the show that 586 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 1: changed my life, and I obviously went through a lot 587 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,120 Speaker 1: that a lot of people didn't understand. There was a 588 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 1: lot of headlines out there that were Falster's headlines out 589 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,240 Speaker 1: there that were true. There was just so much out 590 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 1: there about me that this was sort of, you know, 591 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,640 Speaker 1: my opportunity to say, hey, here's who I am, this 592 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,120 Speaker 1: is what's been going on, um inside of me. So 593 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,560 Speaker 1: he just thought it was sort of a like, uh, 594 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:24,960 Speaker 1: talk through things and life after series or recap regroup. Um. 595 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 1: He didn't know much about the series, but that just 596 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,600 Speaker 1: shows you how supportive my parents were from the very beginning. 597 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,720 Speaker 1: So then how did he feel when you actually had 598 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:36,720 Speaker 1: that conversation with him on camera? Uh, Well it wasn't shown, 599 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,400 Speaker 1: but he actually I think he needed a sex So 600 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,840 Speaker 1: the cameras went down, um, and just regrouped and then 601 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:44,680 Speaker 1: came back, you know, they came back on and we 602 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 1: had the conversation. Um. That was one thing that I 603 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:51,000 Speaker 1: really appreciated since working with a couple of different production 604 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 1: companies now is they've really allowed to put the human 605 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 1: element first, where it's like, hey, instead of what you 606 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,280 Speaker 1: think might make great TV, like give my dad a second, 607 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,480 Speaker 1: like he needs time to process this, and then once 608 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,240 Speaker 1: it comes back, you know. And it wasn't very long, 609 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:06,880 Speaker 1: he and there wasn't a conversation that really took place 610 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:12,080 Speaker 1: like in that dead time, but um, you know, I 611 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:13,880 Speaker 1: get what I get where he's coming from, where he's 612 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:15,080 Speaker 1: like it would have been nice to him to just 613 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,160 Speaker 1: come out to me privately. But we also I think 614 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,280 Speaker 1: in that same article, he was like, we also understand 615 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,080 Speaker 1: that this is a life he chose, Like he he 616 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,040 Speaker 1: loves the TV industry and being on it, so that 617 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 1: that's sort of wed. We knew what we were signing 618 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:31,520 Speaker 1: up for. And then how's his relationship with Jordan's It's good, Um, 619 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:34,080 Speaker 1: it really is. And I was very very nervous, but 620 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,240 Speaker 1: I think what really made me feel the most comfortable 621 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:40,080 Speaker 1: is Jordan came to meet my family very quickly. Um, 622 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:44,840 Speaker 1: and they treated him and once again, I don't know 623 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 1: if this is okay to say, but they treated him 624 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,360 Speaker 1: like they would if I brought a girl home, you know, 625 00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:53,040 Speaker 1: like there was no there was no difference, There was 626 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 1: no making him feel awkward or not asking questions like 627 00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:59,080 Speaker 1: they asked him the same questions that they would have 628 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,880 Speaker 1: asked if I brought a girl. I just thought that 629 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,200 Speaker 1: was the most amazing part of all of it. Yeah, 630 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,640 Speaker 1: because as much as you're learning, and you mentioned earlier 631 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,000 Speaker 1: you were learning a lot at this time, they were 632 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,959 Speaker 1: learning as well and trying to figure out, you know, Okay, 633 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,600 Speaker 1: how do we best support Colton, how do we best 634 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,200 Speaker 1: support Jordan, how we best support their relationship? And so 635 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:21,800 Speaker 1: the fact that they chose that even is says so 636 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,000 Speaker 1: much about them that they chose to go on that 637 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:25,880 Speaker 1: path and say, Okay, we're not going to do this perfectly. 638 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:27,400 Speaker 1: We might need to take a second, we might need 639 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 1: to just like you know, reality for us has changed 640 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:31,800 Speaker 1: a bit, but let's take a second come back, And 641 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:33,680 Speaker 1: that that does speak a lot to who they are. 642 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,680 Speaker 1: First off, it's very sweet to see what your face 643 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,080 Speaker 1: looks like when you talk about Jordan's it definitely lights up. 644 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:42,520 Speaker 1: It's very cute. Uh. And then the other standout was 645 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 1: that you talk about Cassie reaching out to you and 646 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,959 Speaker 1: how she hadn't reached out to you, and like your 647 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,400 Speaker 1: dad was like, I think she's going to reach out 648 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:54,280 Speaker 1: to you today. My lingering question was if that was 649 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:58,120 Speaker 1: like a topic of conversation, did you why didn't you 650 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:03,360 Speaker 1: reach out to her for what? In the documentary? In 651 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,760 Speaker 1: the documentary, but when you came out, when you came out, 652 00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,960 Speaker 1: you were like you came out without telling her that 653 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:13,560 Speaker 1: you were getting first. So why didn't you tell her 654 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:16,360 Speaker 1: before we made a public because we weren't in a 655 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 1: position of speaking to each other. Yeah, so just legal, 656 00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:23,440 Speaker 1: legal wise, we couldn't. It couldn't be done. Okay, I 657 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 1: thought I thought that might be why. But I just 658 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,440 Speaker 1: wanted there can say this because I think it's out there. 659 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:32,960 Speaker 1: There was. We offered her to come on the show, 660 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 1: to like sit down and have a conversation whatever that 661 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:39,800 Speaker 1: looked like what however she wanted to handle that too, Um, 662 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,240 Speaker 1: but it just wasn't it just I don't think it 663 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 1: was in the cards. And I think she's moved on 664 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,080 Speaker 1: and happy in her life and yeah, you know, I'm 665 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:48,840 Speaker 1: obviously in a great place now, So okay, I just 666 00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,480 Speaker 1: wanted to get that clear, like there was probably a 667 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:55,120 Speaker 1: legal thing. Okay, gotcha. Yeah. Well, given given that framework 668 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,760 Speaker 1: to Colton for where your lives are at, I just 669 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,560 Speaker 1: have a feeling Tomorrow night will not be easy on 670 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:06,280 Speaker 1: either of you. Um that you know, it's it's national 671 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,360 Speaker 1: television and I just watched the finale of this season 672 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,800 Speaker 1: and that's going to be you know, the crazy enough 673 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:17,200 Speaker 1: and um, it will just be an interesting night where 674 00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:19,000 Speaker 1: I'm sure there's gonna be a lot of processing. Are 675 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,319 Speaker 1: you gonna watch it? Um? Are you going to tune in? 676 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:23,799 Speaker 1: How are you going to handle knowing that your name 677 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,560 Speaker 1: is definitely gonna be out there come you know Wednesday morning? 678 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,399 Speaker 1: Oh well, I don't know. I mean my text with 679 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,040 Speaker 1: the with the producers said it was she was gonna 680 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,240 Speaker 1: be speaking on a panel and that she doesn't foresee 681 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,080 Speaker 1: my name being brought up. So I mean I've heard 682 00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,600 Speaker 1: that before and it took a completely different shift. Um. 683 00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:42,920 Speaker 1: So mentally though I'm in a much better place, this 684 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:47,520 Speaker 1: is a very similar situation to write before my my spiral. Yeah, Um, 685 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,040 Speaker 1: you know where I reached out to the producer and 686 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:52,080 Speaker 1: sort of begged him not to like contribute to my 687 00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,360 Speaker 1: my mental downfall. But you know, I'm I'm in a 688 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:57,440 Speaker 1: really healthy spot now. I have a you know, the 689 00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:59,200 Speaker 1: love of my life to support me. I have my 690 00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:02,000 Speaker 1: family to support me. I have a great group of friends, 691 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:05,920 Speaker 1: and you know, I'm I'm not gonna watch, but I'm 692 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:08,840 Speaker 1: also like, you know, excited if if that, you know, 693 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,839 Speaker 1: if that's what she needs to do, whatever that looks like, 694 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,080 Speaker 1: then so be it. Yeah, well, I uh, I also 695 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,279 Speaker 1: I think I was thinking about this. I misspoke earlier. 696 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,319 Speaker 1: The producers have texted me the last three years. In fact, 697 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:21,279 Speaker 1: a couple of them came to my wedding, so I 698 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,160 Speaker 1: know I was texting with them then, so this is 699 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:24,879 Speaker 1: maybe not about this show. And then I went on 700 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,120 Speaker 1: the Matt season, which is probably yeah, I know, which 701 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,879 Speaker 1: was probably two years ago. I went on Match. I'm saying, 702 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 1: when my name gets brought up or when there's like 703 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:36,520 Speaker 1: clippets of stuff, I don't get the heads up. Like 704 00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,400 Speaker 1: but I mean, granted, not too many people from my 705 00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,560 Speaker 1: season are still coming on the show, so I don't 706 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,400 Speaker 1: know why. Well, like, like for example, I got you know, 707 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,000 Speaker 1: I was the worst kisser, I guess in Paradise. I 708 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,000 Speaker 1: didn't get the heads up for that episode coming out. 709 00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,560 Speaker 1: Now it makes sense to people while I wasn't a 710 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:58,240 Speaker 1: great kisser, the yeah, that's that's actually that's good for you. Um. Alright, 711 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,000 Speaker 1: So back to CBS, UM, what fans look forward to? 712 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,200 Speaker 1: They're gonna watch you again as we close up here, 713 00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:05,279 Speaker 1: what can they look forward to with this show? With 714 00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,960 Speaker 1: watching you on television? Who else is involved? Give us 715 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,399 Speaker 1: the best sales pitch for why people should tune into 716 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:14,800 Speaker 1: Beyond the Edge. Well, on the show, it's Ray Lewis, 717 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:20,520 Speaker 1: Metal World Piece, Jody Sweeten, Ebony Williams, Paulina Porreskova, Um, 718 00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:25,040 Speaker 1: Lauren Elena, and Craig Morgan Forgetting Somebody, Oh, Mike Singletary 719 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:30,239 Speaker 1: as well. Um. And it's a show about putting our 720 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,600 Speaker 1: differences aside and coming together and working together to raise 721 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:38,520 Speaker 1: money for our respective charities. And while there's competitions every 722 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,320 Speaker 1: single day and money up for grabs, we are there 723 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:44,719 Speaker 1: um on our own. We are there um for as 724 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:46,600 Speaker 1: long as we feel like in our hearts we need 725 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,839 Speaker 1: to be there both mentally and physically. So there's no 726 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,520 Speaker 1: elimination process other than ringing the bell. And when you 727 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,560 Speaker 1: ring the bell, you're done, you pack up and you leave. 728 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,279 Speaker 1: So you come and really just push yourself. You push 729 00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:01,080 Speaker 1: your your body, you push your yourself mentally, and it's 730 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:04,879 Speaker 1: just interesting to see how different people from different walks 731 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:06,719 Speaker 1: of life can come together and support one another. And 732 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,400 Speaker 1: I think that is so needed right now in our society. 733 00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:13,719 Speaker 1: So it was honestly one of the best decisions I 734 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:15,520 Speaker 1: made to go onto that show and something that I 735 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:19,399 Speaker 1: truly needed in that moment. So when can fans tune in? 736 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,960 Speaker 1: Fans can tune in on Wednesday nights. I think a 737 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,319 Speaker 1: follow a Survivor on Wednesday nights. And then I've been 738 00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:27,840 Speaker 1: in four different time zones now this week, so I 739 00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:31,480 Speaker 1: don't know exactly what what time zone you know, Pacific 740 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,399 Speaker 1: time or Standard time whatever it comes on, but it's 741 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:35,880 Speaker 1: right after a Survivor, I think, okay, it's probably a 742 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:40,000 Speaker 1: ten Eastern then I'm assuming. So, what was one thing 743 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,399 Speaker 1: that truly drove you beyond the edge? Just to give 744 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:47,920 Speaker 1: a little easier. I'm very particular in the way that 745 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,720 Speaker 1: I sleep. I need air conditioning, I need white noise. 746 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:58,719 Speaker 1: I need very badly. If you remember, um so We're 747 00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:03,839 Speaker 1: literally slipping bamboo in the rain like it was, and 748 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,799 Speaker 1: it's all I mean, we had cameras everywhere, so you're 749 00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:10,960 Speaker 1: gonna see it. And it was brutal, mentally draining and exhausting. 750 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,359 Speaker 1: I put ten pounds on before I left for the show, 751 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:15,399 Speaker 1: just because, like I knew, I wasn't gonna be eating 752 00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:18,280 Speaker 1: a whole lot um. So it's like the opposite of Paradise, 753 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,239 Speaker 1: where I gained ten pounds on accident. I put it 754 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:23,080 Speaker 1: on to go out to the jungle to try to 755 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:26,160 Speaker 1: embrace it, but it was it was wild. Um. I 756 00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,480 Speaker 1: would say I was really intimidated by a lot of 757 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,120 Speaker 1: the puzzle challenges, and you know, I think I was 758 00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:33,279 Speaker 1: probably I think I left the most proud of how 759 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:37,200 Speaker 1: I've performed in those Okay, alright, well, Colton, thank you 760 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:42,200 Speaker 1: for being here. It was we got a lot of answers, um, 761 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,280 Speaker 1: a lot of questions answered today and we're very happy 762 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,600 Speaker 1: for you. Congratulations well, and thank you guys for your support. 763 00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:52,640 Speaker 1: And then also sorry for the obviously the misunderstanding, the 764 00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:54,920 Speaker 1: lies or whatever it shook out to be in the press. 765 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,239 Speaker 1: I just um, I'll make sure you have my new 766 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:04,080 Speaker 1: number two so you can and we can text each other. Yeah. Well, 767 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,520 Speaker 1: and uh, you know that wasn't you know. I appreciate 768 00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:08,480 Speaker 1: that a lot that you say you're sorry, but that 769 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,239 Speaker 1: you know that this wasn't about me. UM. I was 770 00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,319 Speaker 1: like a small piece that felt like I was like, 771 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,200 Speaker 1: woke up one morning, I was like, what the heck 772 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:19,799 Speaker 1: is happening? Why am I now UM thrown into this? 773 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,960 Speaker 1: And uh, you know, so I appreciate that that that 774 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,799 Speaker 1: you apologize. I appreciate you coming on here and and 775 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:29,560 Speaker 1: and being big enough to to even confront it, UM. 776 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,600 Speaker 1: But ultimately, you know, it's water under the bridge. Now, 777 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,239 Speaker 1: I'm glad we could talk it through. And I'm I'm 778 00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,960 Speaker 1: glad we're on the same page because I know just 779 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,319 Speaker 1: as well as you do how messy this can get 780 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:42,040 Speaker 1: when you are talking UM through media and when you 781 00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,880 Speaker 1: are talking through things like this. So I'm glad you 782 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:47,839 Speaker 1: come on. UM. Hey, I think it's important Colton, if 783 00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,000 Speaker 1: you don't mind, as we close out here, the last 784 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:55,040 Speaker 1: and final thing word would be just anybody listening UM 785 00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:58,040 Speaker 1: who was struggling UM. And And I maybe even want 786 00:39:58,040 --> 00:39:59,480 Speaker 1: to expand because I think you probably have a lot 787 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:03,000 Speaker 1: of insight now UM into many different aspects of life. 788 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:07,600 Speaker 1: Maybe it is your sexuality, maybe it is career changes. 789 00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:10,400 Speaker 1: Maybe it is just feeling lonely and isolated due to 790 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:14,840 Speaker 1: not being accepted at school for whatever reason. What message 791 00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,320 Speaker 1: have you learned that you would share to any listener 792 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:19,719 Speaker 1: out there who you could probably relate with with your 793 00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:23,439 Speaker 1: story of the last two years. I think it would 794 00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,840 Speaker 1: go in hand with what you were saying out at 795 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:27,480 Speaker 1: the top of this is like you wanted to make 796 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:31,760 Speaker 1: me feel like I wasn't alone and I felt really alone, um, 797 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:34,560 Speaker 1: despite people going out of their way to try to 798 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,920 Speaker 1: make me not feel alone. So I think sharing the 799 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:41,319 Speaker 1: message that trust people UM give people in your and 800 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,680 Speaker 1: your family and in your circle a chance UM to 801 00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:46,960 Speaker 1: try to lean on them and you aren't alone in 802 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,400 Speaker 1: all of this. And then also, there's no shame in 803 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,480 Speaker 1: asking for help when you're at your lowest, when you're 804 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,040 Speaker 1: at your weakness, when you feel like giving up. It's 805 00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,560 Speaker 1: okay to ask for help, It's okay to seek help, 806 00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,160 Speaker 1: and um, it doesn't make you weak and it doesn't 807 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:02,360 Speaker 1: make you any ser than another human being just because 808 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:04,279 Speaker 1: you can't handle that moment of life that you're in 809 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,840 Speaker 1: and no matter how dark it gets, there's always you know, 810 00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,920 Speaker 1: there's always the next day, in the next hour, in 811 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:14,319 Speaker 1: the next moment. Could Underwood, thanks are coming on this 812 00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:18,080 Speaker 1: episode of the Almost Famous podcast. Um again, tune in 813 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,440 Speaker 1: the CBS after Survivor for Beyond the Edge you can 814 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:24,360 Speaker 1: see Colton. They're also tune into the finale of The Bachelor, 815 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,560 Speaker 1: because even if you haven't watched all season, this is 816 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:29,239 Speaker 1: by far the wildest finale I've ever seen. I don't 817 00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:30,719 Speaker 1: have a lot of words to wrap around it because 818 00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:32,760 Speaker 1: whatever I say is going to be taken wrong and 819 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,440 Speaker 1: you know, manipulated to be something it's not. But I 820 00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:39,759 Speaker 1: just will say wow and holy cow, and I haven't 821 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,839 Speaker 1: seen it and I can't wait. Your teasers are amazing. Yeah, 822 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,400 Speaker 1: so um tune in that. But again, Colton, thanks for 823 00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:47,520 Speaker 1: joining us with that. This has been an episode of 824 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:51,120 Speaker 1: the Almost Famous Podcast in depth episode with Colton Underwood. 825 00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:55,000 Speaker 1: I've Been Been, I've Been Ashley, and I've Been Colton, 826 00:41:55,320 --> 00:42:02,640 Speaker 1: Perfect Fall, the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts 827 00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:06,000 Speaker 1: on I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.