1 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:12,520 Speaker 1: It's the week of love. 2 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 2: Chip, Oh god, I hope I find some. 3 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 3: It's always so ridiculous to me. I'm like, so this 4 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:21,319 Speaker 3: is the week of love, but what are every other week? 5 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,400 Speaker 1: Every other week of the world. 6 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of a wild I've never really bought into 7 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 3: the idea of Valentine's Day, have you. 8 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 4: No, it's a I mean I feel like it's a 9 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 4: Hallmark holiday. Like they created a way to sell cards. 10 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: Make more money off of us. 11 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, and like and then you've got the gall the 12 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 4: anti Valentines sentiment now too, So there's another way for people. 13 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 4: Like they're like, oh, well, we can't make money off 14 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 4: of people that aren't in love, so let's make money 15 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 4: off of people that aren't in love, like Gallanines, Gallantines 16 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 4: and like the anti Valentines cards and stuff like that, 17 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 4: so make money off of us. 18 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 1: Yeah. My boyfriend is like, do you care about that? 19 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,039 Speaker 3: And like last year I think we weren't together, so 20 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 3: he sent me flowers. Like those are always just nice 21 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 3: gestures that you appreciate, you know, but it could be 22 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 3: on a random Tuesday and I would appreciate it just 23 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 3: as equally. 24 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 1: It's just like I think maybe more Yeah, maybe. 25 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,040 Speaker 2: It's because it's not an expectation. 26 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, I just think I kind of look at these 27 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:23,400 Speaker 3: kind of holidays as one more reason to like tell 28 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 3: the person or the people in my life that I 29 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,680 Speaker 3: love them. But like, we don't need to make it 30 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 3: into this big or you know, this huge production where 31 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 3: we're spending tons of money and like it feels like 32 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 3: New Year's to me in a way where it's like 33 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 3: if you go to a restaurant, everything's jacked up price wise, 34 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 3: and there's really no reason. It's just like another day 35 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:42,360 Speaker 3: if you really think about it. 36 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,199 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it's just it's truly a way for 37 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 4: people to monetize. I always get stressed out, whether it's 38 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:55,279 Speaker 4: Valentine's or Christmas or even birthdays, like buying gifts for people. 39 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 4: I feel like I end up buying things that, like 40 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,600 Speaker 4: I normally wouldn't have bought them, just because there is 41 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 4: that expectation. I love to buy gifts for people. When 42 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 4: I'm like shopping and I see something, I'm like, holy shit, Kelly. 43 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 2: Would love this, God so Kelly, Yeah, and just. 44 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,080 Speaker 4: Giving it to like then I even if it's like 45 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 4: before your birthday, like you will like eat a hole 46 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 4: in my pocket the gift to you. So to bring 47 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 4: it back to the Valentine's Day piece of it, it's like, 48 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 4: what are you gonna buy? I'm gonna buy someone like. 49 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 2: A stuffed bear with a heart, you know, It's like. 50 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 3: Come on when that speaks to you and tells you 51 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 3: it loves you every time you press its right hand. 52 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 4: My favorite, though, is when you're like at Walgreens, like 53 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 4: picking up a prescription on you know, Valentine's Day, and 54 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 4: there's like a line of men with like teddy bears 55 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 4: and fake roses, just like trying not to get in trouble. 56 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, it is kind of silly, but it is the 57 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 3: week of love that we universally seem to celebrate, So 58 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 3: here we are. We had matchmaker April Buyer was on 59 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 3: the podcast on Wednesday, and I always find that to 60 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 3: be a really interesting conversation when I'm speaking to people 61 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 3: who work in the profession of matchmaking or dating, you know, 62 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 3: those kind of like workshops. We've had Amy Chan I 63 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 3: don't know if you remember her on the podcast back 64 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 3: in the day, and like people who are truly trying 65 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 3: to connect you with real life relationships that will work, 66 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 3: that will help you do your own healings, so you're 67 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 3: not bringing your baggage to the table in relationships. I 68 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,119 Speaker 3: just always really find it to be an interesting conversation. 69 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 3: So April was really great, and we talked a lot 70 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 3: about dating apps. Though obviously because if you really think 71 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 3: about it, a dating app probably coming along, I would 72 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:34,200 Speaker 3: say that was almost like competition for matchmakers in some ways, 73 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 3: or it seems like it would have taken away some 74 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 3: business from people. 75 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, you know what I mean. 76 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 3: But we really talked about like the difference, and it's 77 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 3: just interesting because I think at this stage of our life, 78 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 3: wouldn't you say the conversation around dating apps is mostly 79 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 3: that they don't work, Like I don't really have positive 80 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 3: conversations about dating apps anymore. 81 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, they I mean I feel like they work if 82 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 2: you want to just hook. 83 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 3: Up, you know, like, well that's the gay man's mentality 84 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 3: though too well. 85 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 4: But I think it's you know, that's what tender so 86 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 4: big too. I mean, I do think Tender is like 87 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 4: evolved into a much more like legit dating app. Yeah, 88 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 4: but when it first exploded, it was like the straight 89 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:17,360 Speaker 4: world's answer to Grinder, you know, like, oh yeah, well 90 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 4: we can fuck too. But yeah, I mean, I think 91 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,560 Speaker 4: if you, if you really look at their model, if 92 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 4: they want you to be paying monthly or yearly, like 93 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 4: why would they be incentivized for you to actually find 94 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 4: a match. 95 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 1: Well they wouldn't. 96 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,919 Speaker 4: Yeah, Grinder just it's been getting all this press and 97 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 4: I just noticed it on the app yesterday. But they 98 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,839 Speaker 4: have a new feature now that costs like three hundred 99 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:41,720 Speaker 4: and fifty dollars a month, and it's I'm not going 100 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 4: to test it. Like the way that they get you 101 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 4: to spend the money too, is like or you can 102 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 4: get it for a week for two hundred and twenty 103 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 4: dollars and apparently like the press, because I was googling 104 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 4: it because of the press. Like it's also the pricing 105 00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 4: varies per person, like it's some people are paying up 106 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:03,280 Speaker 4: to six it's AI generative, so I don't know, Like 107 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 4: it reads like you get all of the like bells 108 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,720 Speaker 4: and whistles of all the other stuff that you can 109 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 4: pay for with Grinder, but it's got like AI stuff, 110 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 4: so it's like reads people's profiles for you, and it 111 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,799 Speaker 4: serves you the people that it thinks that you because 112 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,839 Speaker 4: right now, when you sign on a Grinder, it's literally 113 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 4: geolocation so you're just seeing the people that are the 114 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 4: closest to you, and you you have to pay for 115 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 4: premium things to not see just a handful of people 116 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:30,040 Speaker 4: like you. Like it's called extra So extra ge lets 117 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 4: you like go beyond the like two mile radius or whatever. 118 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 4: And it's like I read there's a word that my 119 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 4: friend John works in, like you know, tech space, and 120 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,360 Speaker 4: he had told me this word last week and then. 121 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 2: I saw it in an article. 122 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:47,719 Speaker 4: It's called like in shittification, and it's what it's basically 123 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 4: it is. 124 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 2: I think that's the right word. 125 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 4: It is a tech term that is used to describe, like, 126 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 4: I mean anything from a dating app to Facebook to 127 00:05:56,279 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 4: MySpace to any of these where something starts off with 128 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,919 Speaker 4: like a real I mean even Instagram a real goal 129 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 4: in mind, like connecting people, helping you find a date, 130 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 4: and then they have to figure out how to make money, 131 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 4: and then all the bots come in, and then all 132 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,600 Speaker 4: the people that are trying to steal from you come 133 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 4: in and they just shulify it. Yeah, it happens across it. 134 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,279 Speaker 4: I think it's in shitification. 135 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that is what's happened on social media. 136 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's social media. I mean it's almost any website. 137 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 4: Like you know, even if you think about CNN dot com. 138 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,719 Speaker 4: When they built that website, it was meant to be 139 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 4: an extension of the news. Now it's like now they're like, 140 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,720 Speaker 4: it's I mean, and it's not just CNN, it's any 141 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 4: news site. It's about clickbait. They're trying to sell ads. 142 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 4: They don't care about you getting the news. They're trying 143 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 4: to make money, and. 144 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 2: It's just the in stotification of the Internet. 145 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 4: So I love like, I love that, Like as addicted 146 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,840 Speaker 4: as I am to some of these apps because they 147 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 4: are a time oyster, at one point they did feel 148 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,599 Speaker 4: a lot more useful. Now they just feel like there's 149 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 4: a bunch of fake people and bots and people trying 150 00:06:59,560 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 4: to get. 151 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 2: You to pay for massage. 152 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, it definitely feels more about the making money, 153 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,359 Speaker 3: and obviously it is a business, and so it's like, 154 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 3: you know, that's happening. I don't know if you remember 155 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 3: we had Melissa hob Hobbley I think was her name. 156 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 3: Yet she when we talked to her, she worked at 157 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 3: was Tender and now she's at Tender. I don't remember. 158 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 3: She was a she was at different apps, and she 159 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 3: told us like there is an algorithm to it, or 160 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 3: like if you get on the apps, they're going to 161 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 3: show you their best people at first, and then it's 162 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 3: like over time you kind of get in some algorithm 163 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 3: of like not the best. Then if you get off 164 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 3: of it, they show you like when you come back, 165 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 3: they show you all the good people again because they 166 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 3: want to hook you. And it's so messed up because 167 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 3: this is really playing into like our deep desire to 168 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 3: find true connections. But it's difficult out there, and I 169 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 3: think we're so busy in our lives and like people 170 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 3: don't go up to people anymore. We live in this 171 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 3: like phone obsessed culture and so there's not as much 172 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,680 Speaker 3: conversation happening at a bar, at a restaurant or things 173 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:09,320 Speaker 3: like that. It's become definitely harder to meet people in 174 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 3: real life. Yeah, I think we go to the apps 175 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 3: and like try to expand our horizons or whatever. But 176 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,400 Speaker 3: like what my conversation with April was about was just 177 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 3: that it almost messages you up more because we don't 178 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 3: really look deeply into the person. We're just swiping on 179 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 3: the surface level of it, and we just think that 180 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 3: it's never ending. 181 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 4: Because of that, Well, you Also, it's like when someone 182 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 4: is two dimensional and you've read this is what they 183 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 4: do for a job. You see what they look like, 184 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 4: this is what they're interested in. You paint a picture 185 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,960 Speaker 4: of them that's not real. You know, Like they're great 186 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,560 Speaker 4: tools because it is a way to meet people. But 187 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 4: I think the more you linger on them, the less 188 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:55,520 Speaker 4: useful they become, because it's more of a fantasy world 189 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 4: instead of. 190 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:56,560 Speaker 2: The real world. 191 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 4: And I'm very much of the mindset like if you 192 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,440 Speaker 4: connect with somebody and start chatting and it feels good, 193 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,319 Speaker 4: like it should move quickly to like let's grab a 194 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,640 Speaker 4: drink or a coffee or something, because otherwise it is 195 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 4: it's this two dimensional sort of thing that is not realistic. Meanwhile, 196 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 4: you're in this ecosystem where there's other people that are 197 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 4: better looking that are stealing your attention to or more 198 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 4: interesting or whatever. It is the quality that you're looking for, 199 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 4: and it's just it's becomes like this never ending cycle 200 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 4: of the grass is always greener. 201 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 2: And by the way, a lot of people like you 202 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:33,840 Speaker 2: assume that. 203 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 4: People are using it the same way that you are, 204 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 4: that they're on it as often as you are, or 205 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 4: that they're actually reading everything like there's all these things 206 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 4: that you can assume that you know, are sort of 207 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 4: removed when you move to the like the real world 208 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 4: of dating. 209 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 1: When you actually get to know someone, you mean, yeah. 210 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, or try to. 211 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 4: I remember forever ago and this isn't doesn't even it's 212 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 4: it applies to dating the dating apps. But it was 213 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 4: the article that I read. It was like New York Times, 214 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 4: I think years ago I still lived in Los Angeles, 215 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:09,080 Speaker 4: about what the internet and social media had sort of 216 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 4: done to really social people and people who had struggled 217 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 4: to have friends. What the internet and social media had 218 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 4: sort of done to really social people and people who 219 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 4: had struggled to have friends, And it like outlined the 220 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 4: benefits of people that weren't social and the fact that 221 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 4: they have now the Internet opened up their world to 222 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 4: community and they can find you know, like I think 223 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,960 Speaker 4: the stereotype would be like a nerdy kid in his 224 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 4: basement who like plays video games, Like suddenly he has 225 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,760 Speaker 4: trouble in real life meeting people because he's nervous or 226 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 4: whatever it is, or just an introvert, but now he 227 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,960 Speaker 4: can find community and he can chat with friends and 228 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,840 Speaker 4: make friends on the internet, which is great. But people 229 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,080 Speaker 4: like you and I who thrive in the real world 230 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 4: and can connect do a really good job of connecting 231 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 4: with people one on one. It made our lives harder 232 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:13,720 Speaker 4: because people were retreating into the internet, and it made 233 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 4: us less social. It made the world less social for us. 234 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:20,200 Speaker 3: The world is definitely less social, I think. Yeah, I mean, 235 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 3: it's really interesting because it's almost like we've talked about 236 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 3: this a ton, but it's like a fake social that 237 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,839 Speaker 3: we think we're so connected to people because we have 238 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 3: more access than ever and our time is spent monitoring, observing, swiping, 239 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,599 Speaker 3: doing all the things, but we're not actually truly connecting. 240 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,280 Speaker 3: Like I remember before I was in my relationship now 241 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 3: and I was on the apps, and so I was 242 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 3: just going on dates and I remember feeling like it 243 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 3: didn't need to put that much pressure on the date 244 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:52,439 Speaker 3: because it felt like such a good practice to remember 245 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 3: how to communicate conversate with people, Like yeah, really, it 246 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 3: was almost like I was out of practice of that 247 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 3: because you just don't you know, you do it with 248 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,839 Speaker 3: your like immediate friend groups and stuff, but you're not 249 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:08,280 Speaker 3: actually just having a conversation with a stranger very often anymore, 250 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 3: and sometimes that can be tricky. 251 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 2: You never know what that leads to. 252 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean it's great, I think, but I'm 253 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,680 Speaker 3: saying you kind of can get out of practice because 254 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 3: we don't do it right. 255 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 2: World. 256 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 4: So I was I went to see a comedy show 257 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 4: on Thursday night and I was wearing a Dua Lipa 258 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 4: T shirt. 259 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,440 Speaker 2: And there was this girl. 260 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:28,240 Speaker 4: I was seated at the bar at Zany's, which is 261 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 4: the club here in Nashville. I was waiting for my 262 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 4: friend to show up, and this girl with like she's 263 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:41,079 Speaker 4: wearing full on like Apple Pro Max headphones, not the earbuds, 264 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 4: like okay, she has braces, she's wearing like moon boots, 265 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 4: like walks up to me and I'm. 266 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 2: Like, what is going on? 267 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:55,000 Speaker 4: And she says something, but she said it really quietly, 268 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,839 Speaker 4: and I think it was probably a result because she 269 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,320 Speaker 4: had like she couldn't hear how loud she was talking 270 00:12:59,360 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 4: because of her head. 271 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 2: So I was like what. She's like, I like your shirt. 272 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 4: I was like, oh, thanks, and then she motions that 273 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,719 Speaker 4: she's also wearing a dual a leap of shirt and 274 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 4: so we start talking about Dua Lipa and it was 275 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 4: a really like awkward exchange and I And'm like, look, 276 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 4: I am open to talking to strangers, but I definitely 277 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 4: think she there was just an awkwardness about her. But 278 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,840 Speaker 4: she was bold enough to walk up to a stranger, 279 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,720 Speaker 4: so I was like trying to embrace that. And but 280 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 4: you know, there was also an age difference. She was 281 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 4: like in the second year of law school. Like I 282 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 4: was shocked that she was over sixteen. You know, I 283 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 4: can't tell the difference these days. But it was just 284 00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:42,079 Speaker 4: like this very awkward conversation. And then I spotted my 285 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,199 Speaker 4: friend Jackie Jones across the way and I was like, oh, 286 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,560 Speaker 4: I got to go say hi to a friend before 287 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:46,720 Speaker 4: they like turn the lights off. 288 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 2: And I was like, enjoy the show. 289 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:51,720 Speaker 4: And she just kind of stood there very awkwardly, and 290 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,200 Speaker 4: it was like this example of like, shit, we don't 291 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,760 Speaker 4: talk to strangers anymore. 292 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,440 Speaker 2: I don't know how to do it. 293 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, you want to come with me? 294 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,560 Speaker 2: I feel like, oh, do you want to sit here? 295 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 2: Like what is going on? 296 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,160 Speaker 4: But she was It was sweet and I appreciate that 297 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,960 Speaker 4: she was willing to talk and she was there by 298 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:14,400 Speaker 4: herself and one other quick little internet meeting thing before 299 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 4: I we move on. But last night I had drinks 300 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 4: with a friend who was in town. 301 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 2: From New York. 302 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 4: A new friend who I met on the internet through 303 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 4: Willa Ford, who I work with, and it was a 304 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,360 Speaker 4: guy that we discovered because he makes He made an 305 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 4: AI music video for her and I sort of discovered 306 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,640 Speaker 4: him through this like AI thing and then realized that 307 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 4: he was a will of Ford fan, which was weird. 308 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,480 Speaker 4: So I was like, hey, you need to like share 309 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,640 Speaker 4: this thing that this guy just did, and we ended 310 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,360 Speaker 4: up like connecting and he made a music video for her, 311 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,440 Speaker 4: and he's been incredibly supportive. 312 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 2: Flew to LA for an event, and we've. 313 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 4: Just got to be friends through the time, and he's 314 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 4: friends with the comedian I went to see and So 315 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 4: and So. He had come to town for the comedian 316 00:14:56,480 --> 00:15:00,120 Speaker 4: show and Peter. His name's Peter, and Peter and his 317 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 4: husband and I grabbed drinks last night and I asked him. 318 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 2: I said, how do you know Rob? 319 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,520 Speaker 4: And he was like, well, you know, when he was 320 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 4: starting to blow up on Instagram. Rob works for Instagram. 321 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 4: I mean sorry, Peter works for Instagram And he said, well, 322 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 4: when Rob was blowing up on Instagram, we were working 323 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 4: on these new products. And so I reached out to 324 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 4: him and asked him if he wanted to test them, and. 325 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,400 Speaker 2: So he used the new products. 326 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 4: And we just started talking a lot, and then I 327 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 4: moved to New York and we just became really good friends. 328 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,080 Speaker 2: And I was like, well, the. 329 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 1: Internet does connect people like connect. 330 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 4: But you, I mean, I think it's important that you 331 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 4: move it to real life. You know, like you can't 332 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 4: let people be two dimensional, or your connections be too 333 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 4: or your relationships be two dimensional. Like could you imagine 334 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 4: if that moves into you think you're in love, and 335 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 4: then it moves into your house and you've got this 336 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 4: two dimensional relationship. I think it's really important to meet 337 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 4: in real life and try and see if there's chemistry 338 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 4: or spark or any of those things that are that 339 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 4: live beyond your imagination. 340 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 3: So yeah, one of the things we talked about that 341 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,200 Speaker 3: I thought was really interesting. A point that April made was, 342 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 3: and I can't remember exactly how she worded it, but 343 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,960 Speaker 3: the way I would word it is that it's really 344 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:10,360 Speaker 3: easy online to get an ick too, because you're judging 345 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:14,160 Speaker 3: so much by external things, you know, and we have 346 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,600 Speaker 3: these like internal checklists whether we want to think that 347 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,480 Speaker 3: we do or not. Like I know a lot of 348 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 3: our friends we've talked about this one of our friends 349 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 3: would have be like, oh, he has to drive a 350 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 3: truck and he has to do this, and like there 351 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 3: were certain indicators of being a man that she had 352 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 3: somehow formulated in her brain. Right now, she's totally different. 353 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 3: That's why I feel like I can just say this 354 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 3: and make fun. 355 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 4: Of it, because she met enough of those guys to 356 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 4: be like, oh wait, wait a. 357 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,680 Speaker 3: Minute, yeah, and then she ended up falling in love 358 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 3: with a guy who didn't have some of those things, 359 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 3: and it was like, oh, so I was associating that 360 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 3: with being manly, and really that has nothing to do 361 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 3: with it, you know. And so I think it is 362 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 3: interesting because this thing that we have where we just 363 00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:00,880 Speaker 3: think is this never ending that of people and options 364 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,320 Speaker 3: and all whatever. It makes it really easy to stay 365 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,600 Speaker 3: in your comfort zone of lack of vulnerability, Like you 366 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:11,120 Speaker 3: don't really have to go be vulnerable, put yourself out there, 367 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:15,720 Speaker 3: work on intimacy, work on what your cks actually are, 368 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 3: like are they really about that person or is. 369 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: It something within you? 370 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,640 Speaker 3: You know, like a lot of people, if you're actually available, 371 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 3: I learned this on like by watching Love Island and stuff. 372 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:30,359 Speaker 3: If you're actually available, it cks a lot of people out, 373 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,880 Speaker 3: like if you're actually emotionally available because they haven't done 374 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,000 Speaker 3: their work to deal with their own shit. Yea, Like 375 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 3: you know, a lot of times I remember hearing friends 376 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,200 Speaker 3: of ours or even me back in the day, and 377 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 3: I would be like, Oh, he's just like too much, 378 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,920 Speaker 3: or like if someone was too into me back in 379 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,600 Speaker 3: the day, it would kind of almost stress me out 380 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,399 Speaker 3: because I was so used to unavailable men, Like it 381 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,880 Speaker 3: took me a minute to really, I like really had 382 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:55,320 Speaker 3: to work on that block within me of someone just 383 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:59,879 Speaker 3: being available. That doesn't mean they're like too overeager whatever, 384 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,919 Speaker 3: you know, or like if they're not toxic thinking they 385 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,400 Speaker 3: were boring back. 386 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,359 Speaker 2: On the yeah, you're like I need some spice, damn it. 387 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 3: I would just be like, oh, we don't have a spark, 388 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,399 Speaker 3: And it's like, oh, because they're actually not dysfunctional like 389 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 3: every other person you've dated, and like it's not tapping 390 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:19,399 Speaker 3: into all of your anxiety and your fears and like 391 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 3: your attachment shit or whatever. Like they're actually just emotionally 392 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 3: available and want to see if y'all could have a 393 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:25,680 Speaker 3: relationship like. 394 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 1: Get to know you. That's like such a novel concept. 395 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:30,640 Speaker 2: Fancy that. 396 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I. 397 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:35,439 Speaker 3: Think the apps really perpetuate that problem in our world 398 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 3: because it feels like, oh they don't you know, on 399 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,359 Speaker 3: the outside, there's this one thing that they don't check 400 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,119 Speaker 3: for me. I'm not even going to take it to 401 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,280 Speaker 3: that next level like you're talking about and meat in 402 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 3: real life. So I do think it's important to just 403 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:48,720 Speaker 3: give it a go, like. 404 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,359 Speaker 1: See you, what do you have to lose? 405 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:55,080 Speaker 3: That's the other thing that just go have at or something. 406 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, don't agree to a dinner first, but I. 407 00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 4: Do I do think like, look, I don't think you 408 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,440 Speaker 4: should will rely be like let's go have. 409 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:02,479 Speaker 2: A drink, like you should. 410 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,080 Speaker 4: You should definitely feel like, Okay, this is someone I'm 411 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:09,959 Speaker 4: interested in, because there is like sometimes like when you 412 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 4: do move to the ir like in real life situation, 413 00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:19,280 Speaker 4: then there are like unspoken expectations and I don't mean 414 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:23,719 Speaker 4: even just sexual like like it it are you going 415 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 4: to have a second date or you know what I mean. 416 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:30,200 Speaker 4: And it's so the stakes get higher, but I also 417 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,840 Speaker 4: think the reward gets higher to or you know, the 418 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,800 Speaker 4: reward is better if it works, Whereas it's so much 419 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:40,080 Speaker 4: easier just to be like okay, delete conversation, bye bye, 420 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 4: you know, and you know it's I think in a 421 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:51,199 Speaker 4: real relationship, nobody's no human is perfect. No one's going 422 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 4: to check every single box that you're looking for. And 423 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,320 Speaker 4: when you're talking to someone and interacting with them in 424 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 4: a real way in real life, you I think it's 425 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 4: probably easier for you to be like, well, they might 426 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 4: not have this, but they're this, and like I love 427 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,440 Speaker 4: this about them, And when it's two dimensional on the app, 428 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 4: it's so much easier to be like yep, not for me. 429 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 2: Moving on totally. 430 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:16,280 Speaker 4: So you know, I as a as a person who 431 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 4: wastes a lot of time on these apps, and I 432 00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 4: have a love hate relationship with them because I have 433 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,400 Speaker 4: met some great people through them. 434 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:23,440 Speaker 2: You know, I feel like. 435 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 4: I've I know every gay person in Nashville as a 436 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,840 Speaker 4: result of it. But I also know that that's not 437 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,840 Speaker 4: the truth because not everyone is on these things. 438 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 1: So totally. 439 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,880 Speaker 3: I was going to ask you, just because we haven't 440 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,600 Speaker 3: done a dating update for you in a while, are 441 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:36,760 Speaker 3: you on the apps? 442 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:37,720 Speaker 1: Which apps are you want? 443 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 3: What's your experience recently because I feel like listeners always 444 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:41,879 Speaker 3: resonate with what you have to say. 445 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 4: About that I am on the apps. I mean, I 446 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,200 Speaker 4: just do the gay ones. 447 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:49,880 Speaker 3: Like scruff grinder, scruff. Yeah, what's the news. 448 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,320 Speaker 4: There's one called Sniffies. I mean that is one hundred 449 00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:57,399 Speaker 4: percent of hookup app. Like people's profile photos are nudes, 450 00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:58,919 Speaker 4: you know, like not mine. 451 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,800 Speaker 3: Gay man be Wild and I were saying, it's like, 452 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 3: it is unbelievable to me the dating scene for gay 453 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 3: men out there. 454 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. 455 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just some people need to get their rocks off. 456 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,440 Speaker 2: You know. It's funny. I went on a date this week. 457 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 1: I didn't even know yet. 458 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:25,440 Speaker 4: This is a This is a really interesting story too 459 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 4: because I went on the day. It's really cunty, but 460 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,360 Speaker 4: like it's not why but when you. 461 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: Look at it of me, oh boy. 462 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 4: I went on a date with the ex husband of 463 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:37,359 Speaker 4: someone I dated. 464 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:40,879 Speaker 1: Actually I did know this, I forgot. 465 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,360 Speaker 4: And it's funny too because you know, I said when 466 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,920 Speaker 4: we sat down, I was like, hey, I don't want 467 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 4: to make it all about your ex, but like that's 468 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 4: what we have in common right now, so let's talk 469 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,520 Speaker 4: about this stuff and blah blah. And he was like, 470 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 4: I feel like you. I feel like you're sad that 471 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,880 Speaker 4: it didn't work out. And I was like, I get 472 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,240 Speaker 4: why you think that, And this I think applies to 473 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,520 Speaker 4: this conversation too. 474 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,440 Speaker 2: I think I was. I liked the idea of him 475 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,760 Speaker 2: more than him. Oh yeah. 476 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:14,119 Speaker 4: And when you're in it, you think, oh, if I 477 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 4: can shift this and do this and make him see 478 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 4: this and blah blah. 479 00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,800 Speaker 2: Blah, then it works for what I want. 480 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,720 Speaker 4: And the whole time you're ignoring that he's not the 481 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,680 Speaker 4: person that's willing to do that in there. 482 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,160 Speaker 2: Right, And so. 483 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,800 Speaker 4: You know, and so I said that his name, this 484 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,480 Speaker 4: guy's name was I'll use Michael's name because Michael is 485 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,240 Speaker 4: the current. And I said, you know, I understand why 486 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 4: you think that, but like it's not the case, Like 487 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,159 Speaker 4: I am so happy that it didn't work out, Like 488 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,919 Speaker 4: and you know, in hindsight, I can see, oh, like 489 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,360 Speaker 4: on never paper, yeah, on paper, this was what I wanted, 490 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,639 Speaker 4: but in reality it's was never going to work. 491 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 1: So I'm wa, So, are you going to see this 492 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:56,120 Speaker 1: guy again? 493 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 2: Yeah? I think I will. Yeah. 494 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 3: So that is so interesting. So they were married, you 495 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:07,040 Speaker 3: dated the other guy pretty soon after the divorce, is 496 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:07,440 Speaker 3: that right? 497 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:09,760 Speaker 2: Yes? Yeah? 498 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 3: Okay, And then like, weren't you like the first relationship 499 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:14,360 Speaker 3: after yeah? 500 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 4: I think so yeah, And he was like, you know, 501 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 4: he was saying he was open to relationship, but he wasn't. 502 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:21,960 Speaker 1: His actions weren't really showing. 503 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 2: His actions were not. 504 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,680 Speaker 4: And then you know, meeting his husband actually or his 505 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,400 Speaker 4: ex's husband, explained a lot to me, you know, because 506 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,360 Speaker 4: he was able to give me insight to their relationship 507 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 4: and the breakdown there. And I was like, oh, okay, 508 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,040 Speaker 4: a lot of this now makes sense. 509 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,320 Speaker 1: Did it wed him out that you had dated the 510 00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:39,960 Speaker 1: other one? 511 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:40,600 Speaker 2: No? 512 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 4: I don't think so, and I had come clearly like 513 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,520 Speaker 4: he knew before we sat down. We also have we 514 00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 4: also have a mutual friend in common, and we have 515 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:51,679 Speaker 4: actually several mutual friends in common. But our friend joy 516 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:53,960 Speaker 4: I saw her when I was in LA and she 517 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 4: was like, I'm connecting you with Michael. You have to like, 518 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 4: even if you're just friends, like you got to meet Michael. 519 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. 520 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,520 Speaker 4: So she like connected us over text, and we had 521 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:06,000 Speaker 4: actually connected on Scruff and had been chatting. We had 522 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,200 Speaker 4: chatted and when I first connected with him, I wasn't 523 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,440 Speaker 4: sure it was him, and then I realized it was, 524 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 4: so I felt a little creepy. But so once she 525 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,439 Speaker 4: connected us over text, I was like, Hey, did she 526 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 4: tell you everything? Like, yeah, what she told me about 527 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,199 Speaker 4: told you about me? And I was like, I just 528 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,679 Speaker 4: wanted you to know, like I did date your ex 529 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:25,399 Speaker 4: for a while. 530 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 2: I don't want that to be weird, you know. 531 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,960 Speaker 4: So it sounds like it, I mean, it sounds like 532 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,239 Speaker 4: it's happened several times for him. 533 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 3: Well, there's not a massive gay community in Nashville, which 534 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,320 Speaker 3: is wild because our city is growing so much, but 535 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:42,920 Speaker 3: like it feels a little bit like it did in 536 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:46,119 Speaker 3: high school, where there's not that many options. So it's like, 537 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,199 Speaker 3: of course you're gonna kind of cross paths with the 538 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:49,960 Speaker 3: same and they're. 539 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 2: Both like like. 540 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 4: They're both like sort of more worldly than a lot 541 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 4: of the guys here. You know, they've lived in New 542 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,919 Speaker 4: York and Los Angeles and travel and you can you 543 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,439 Speaker 4: pick that up from their photos and you know what 544 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:04,080 Speaker 4: they're saying. 545 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:08,240 Speaker 2: So it's like it would make sense that anyone. 546 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,879 Speaker 4: Who might be interested in one of them would be 547 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,080 Speaker 4: attracted to the other one too. 548 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:11,640 Speaker 1: Exactly. 549 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,199 Speaker 3: Yeah, wow, what a little twist. I mean, I'll have 550 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,920 Speaker 3: to keep us posted. Yeah, But other than this date situation, 551 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,160 Speaker 3: I feel like you have had some complaints about apps 552 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:21,600 Speaker 3: in the past. 553 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,440 Speaker 1: What do you what were the biggest struggles. 554 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:26,119 Speaker 3: You come up against and like what is it teaching 555 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 3: you about yourself with dating? 556 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,480 Speaker 2: I guess, well, I mean I have. 557 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:35,640 Speaker 4: It's funny because I know from using them that they're 558 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 4: they're more interested in having you addicted and staying on 559 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,280 Speaker 4: the app and actually connecting you. I'm fully aware of 560 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:46,640 Speaker 4: you can feel it, yes, and and you know, it's 561 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,600 Speaker 4: also one of those things where the grass is always 562 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,320 Speaker 4: going to be greener. There's always going to be someone 563 00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,600 Speaker 4: more interesting, There's always going to be someone who's hotter. 564 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,119 Speaker 4: There's always going to be that. So it keeps you 565 00:25:55,240 --> 00:26:01,080 Speaker 4: coming back. But the frustration is that, like, I mean, 566 00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,960 Speaker 4: I'm looking at the same guys that I've been looking 567 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,080 Speaker 4: out in Nashville for the last ten years, Like. 568 00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,720 Speaker 1: You're like, oh, five years older. 569 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:12,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, and or no, they're still using the same photos 570 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,880 Speaker 4: from ten you know, yeah, And so it's just there's 571 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,959 Speaker 4: something that's really depressing about it. But I keep going 572 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,399 Speaker 4: back because I'm not the type that goes and just 573 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,120 Speaker 4: sits at a bar and waits to meet strangers. It's 574 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:26,879 Speaker 4: just not what I like. My life is too busy 575 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,399 Speaker 4: for and I've never really been that anyway. So it 576 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 4: feels it's frustrating because it feels like it's my only option, 577 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,640 Speaker 4: but it also feels like it's a dead end road. 578 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,479 Speaker 4: And even with Michael the other night, he was like, 579 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,879 Speaker 4: I so much prefer to have a friend be like 580 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:42,720 Speaker 4: you need to be my friend. 581 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:44,400 Speaker 2: I'm like, yes, I would much. 582 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:48,320 Speaker 4: Rather like make eyes with a person in the coffee 583 00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 4: shop and be like, oh my god, we both like 584 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,720 Speaker 4: looked back at each other, right, Like that to me 585 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,280 Speaker 4: is so much more romantic when you. 586 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 1: Can feel something right. 587 00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 4: But it's you know, everyone's looking at their phone in 588 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 4: the car shop now right, you know, it's it's we 589 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,360 Speaker 4: live in a very, very weird time, and I do 590 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,840 Speaker 4: think it's going to come back around. 591 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,840 Speaker 2: I need some more irl. 592 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,639 Speaker 4: And matchmaking and because it's like when you think and 593 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:18,000 Speaker 4: I've never actually used a matchmaker in fact, like it 594 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,760 Speaker 4: makes me really uncomfortable to know that like I've if 595 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:23,000 Speaker 4: I'm like going out on a date with someone that 596 00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,960 Speaker 4: like I've been met, or you know, or you're walking 597 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,080 Speaker 4: into a thing where it's like a group dinner and 598 00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:31,200 Speaker 4: say you've brought a gay friend that you think might 599 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:34,560 Speaker 4: like me. I hate I hate knowing that there's a 600 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:38,920 Speaker 4: setup happening. I would rather show up and like it 601 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:43,439 Speaker 4: be a surprise or like it's just unspoken to me, 602 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,439 Speaker 4: Like I if I know that there's something happening, I 603 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:47,920 Speaker 4: come in more performative. 604 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:49,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, I could see that. 605 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, But I also think what you just said made 606 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:56,080 Speaker 3: me think about like if someone going, oh, I have 607 00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,000 Speaker 3: a gay friend, and it's like, but are they like 608 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,040 Speaker 3: actually compatible with you or is it just. 609 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 1: The gay man that they know? 610 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:01,560 Speaker 2: You know? 611 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:04,040 Speaker 3: And I think that happens a lot in your world 612 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:06,879 Speaker 3: a little bit, And so the matchmaking thing to me 613 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 3: is very interesting to think about. And like I just 614 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 3: pulled up the stat for April. It was like, I 615 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:16,399 Speaker 3: can't remember exactly what it was, but her percentages of 616 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,159 Speaker 3: success it was really high, even in the eighties. I 617 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,720 Speaker 3: think it's something insane. And then a lot of percentage 618 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,399 Speaker 3: had gotten married. And I think the reason that stood 619 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:30,720 Speaker 3: out to me is because it's someone else actually listening 620 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:35,360 Speaker 3: to you, actually looking at your skill sets, your qualities, 621 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,640 Speaker 3: like the true things that you want, not the surface 622 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,479 Speaker 3: things that we think we want, and that are so 623 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 3: important in matching you and connecting you with someone that 624 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,479 Speaker 3: is compatible with that versus you know, when you're picking 625 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 3: a lot of times we're just picking with our default stuff, 626 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,400 Speaker 3: Like we've talked about like or on the surface or 627 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,000 Speaker 3: what we think we want, and we're not really truly 628 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 3: connected to ourselves and like what we're actually seeking in 629 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 3: a relationship. 630 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 1: And I think that's kind. 631 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,320 Speaker 3: Of also a faulty part of apps is you're when 632 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 3: you're the picker like that. I don't know, a lot 633 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:08,920 Speaker 3: of times people are not the best pickers for themselves. 634 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 3: I surely wasn't for many many years. 635 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,800 Speaker 4: Well, I mean, because we're coming from a place where 636 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:18,520 Speaker 4: we're like looking for the things that we want, and 637 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,040 Speaker 4: what we're not thinking about is what we bring to 638 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:21,600 Speaker 4: the table. 639 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 3: Well, you're also not necessarily thinking about what you need, 640 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 3: maybe like your runts, Like you might go, oh, I 641 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,600 Speaker 3: just really want this super hot guy that I can 642 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:33,160 Speaker 3: flaunt around town or whatever, But meanwhile you really seek 643 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,320 Speaker 3: a deep emotional connection and he has no capacity for that, 644 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,840 Speaker 3: or you know what I mean, Like right, you really 645 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,520 Speaker 3: have to get clear with yourself about what your objectives 646 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:45,400 Speaker 3: are for a relationship, what you really want a relationship 647 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 3: to bring to your life, and what you want to 648 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,920 Speaker 3: show up for not just like swiping and going window 649 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,040 Speaker 3: shopping of like, oh that could be nice, so let 650 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,920 Speaker 3: me try that on, you know, like it can work, 651 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,000 Speaker 3: I think if you really get honest with yourself. 652 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 1: But a lot of us skip that stuff and we 653 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 1: just keep swiping. 654 00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:03,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. 655 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's by the way back to her success rates, 656 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,840 Speaker 4: it's eighty nine percent success rate. 657 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,440 Speaker 1: See I knew it is that she only has. 658 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:12,240 Speaker 2: A one percent divorce rate for people that have got it. 659 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 3: That's wild and not everybody gets married, obviously, but still 660 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 3: that's an amazing percentage. Well, she's she offered a lot, 661 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,480 Speaker 3: a lot of valuable insights. If you guys haven't listened 662 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,560 Speaker 3: to that podcast, go check that one out. Another thing 663 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,000 Speaker 3: I want to say this week, and this is because 664 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,400 Speaker 3: I spent so many years single and I think as 665 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:29,960 Speaker 3: a girl, and I don't know if you feel this 666 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,520 Speaker 3: at all as a gay man, because I think this 667 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,520 Speaker 3: is very directed at women in the South a lot 668 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,720 Speaker 3: of times too. But like i'd assume a lot of 669 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,800 Speaker 3: times people who are single on holidays like this, like 670 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 3: it does make you feel or it can make you 671 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,920 Speaker 3: feel like you're not doing something right, or you're less 672 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,600 Speaker 3: than or whatever, and it's not. That's all I would 673 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,160 Speaker 3: say is just like this is some silly holiday like 674 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,880 Speaker 3: we talked about in the beginning, and your life is 675 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 3: your life, and so you're on your own path. And 676 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,920 Speaker 3: if you're in a relationship right now, great, If you're not, great, Like, 677 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,320 Speaker 3: neither one is right or wrong. And I think that 678 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,440 Speaker 3: that's important to talk about too, not just like being 679 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,880 Speaker 3: in a relationship as the end all be all for 680 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:11,360 Speaker 3: everyone in their life or during this timeline or whatever. 681 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,440 Speaker 3: You know, like, do what's right for you. Know that 682 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 3: if that's something you want, it's going to come when 683 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,360 Speaker 3: it's the right time and the right person, And you should. 684 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:23,720 Speaker 2: Never settle for what's not right exactly. You're so much 685 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:24,440 Speaker 2: better off. 686 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,960 Speaker 4: I mean, I'm so much better off single than in 687 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,000 Speaker 4: an unhealthy relationship. 688 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:30,760 Speaker 1: Well all of us. 689 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like when you think about how hard it 690 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:38,320 Speaker 4: is to have a healthy relationship with yourself, that like you, 691 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:39,280 Speaker 4: if you're. 692 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,720 Speaker 2: Single, work on that because it's always really fucking hard. 693 00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:46,120 Speaker 4: And the better your relationship is with yourself, the better 694 00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 4: you are at showing up for a relationship with somebody else. 695 00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 2: Yes, And I know that that sounds like, you know. 696 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 1: You just write a Hallmark card for it. 697 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like a Hallmark card, but it's true. 698 00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 4: It's true, like you'll know what you want and need 699 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:04,760 Speaker 4: more then you're just your your superficial checklist in somebody. 700 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:08,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, And with that, have you Valentine's Day 701 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,200 Speaker 1: guys have health. No. 702 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 3: But as you guys go into this weekend and you're 703 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,200 Speaker 3: celebrating this, just remember wherever you are, whatever it is 704 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 3: you're celebrating. If you're celebrating nothing, all of that is good. 705 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,520 Speaker 3: And you can always email us. Yeah, celebrate yourself. You 706 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,640 Speaker 3: can always email us at the Edge at velvet edge 707 00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,239 Speaker 3: dot com to stay in touch, or you can hit 708 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,000 Speaker 3: me up on my dms on Instagram. 709 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,760 Speaker 1: I'm at Velvet Edge Chip, I'm at Chip Doors. 710 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,760 Speaker 2: It's Chip d O r scch. 711 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 3: You can also find us on at Velvet Edge podcast 712 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,480 Speaker 3: Instagram and we have some prompts for you guys, some 713 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 3: videos of the podcasts. Just a good way to stay connected. 714 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:44,960 Speaker 2: So check us out YouTube too. 715 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 1: Oh we do have a YouTube. Yeah, you can watch. 716 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,520 Speaker 3: You can watch if you prefer to watch, like a 717 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,520 Speaker 3: lot of people watch podcasts like TV now, which is 718 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,520 Speaker 3: I'm sorry because look at us, I. 719 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:57,920 Speaker 2: Like literally roll out of bed. 720 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,760 Speaker 3: We yeah, we don't our best, but if you feel 721 00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:04,080 Speaker 3: like looking at our faces while we say it. 722 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:09,400 Speaker 2: Looks like I'm like got. 723 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:11,240 Speaker 3: Touch anyway, you can watch us on YouTube at Velvet's Edge. 724 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:12,080 Speaker 1: So check all. 725 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,600 Speaker 3: Those things out as you guys go into this lovely 726 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 3: holiday weekend. I hope you I knew I was gonna 727 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:22,000 Speaker 3: fuck myself up. As you guys go into the weekend 728 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,200 Speaker 3: and you're living on the edge, I hope you always 729 00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:24,920 Speaker 3: remember to 730 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,840 Speaker 2: A casual ye