1
00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:03,800
Speaker 1: What's up.

2
00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:06,440
Speaker 2: It's way up with Angela yee and I'm here with

3
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,000
Speaker 2: my girl Stacy Tisdale from Wealth Wednesdays.

4
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:12,799
Speaker 3: Happy Wealth Wednesdays everyone, and we are bringing it once again.

5
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,000
Speaker 3: We are so excited to bring you. You know who

6
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:19,200
Speaker 3: this person is, Vivian two. You're rich BFF baby, she

7
00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:22,119
Speaker 3: is your rich VFF. And she's also a former Wall

8
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,759
Speaker 3: Street trader. You guys know her from social media and

9
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:28,639
Speaker 3: the host of podcast net Worth and Chill. And she

10
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,880
Speaker 3: has a new book coming out and don't be fooled

11
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,879
Speaker 3: by the title. But y'all are going to be well endowed.

12
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,760
Speaker 2: Yes, you also know her other book, rich af Yeah,

13
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:39,839
Speaker 2: that gets referenced the Latin.

14
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,920
Speaker 4: New York Times bestsellingf You know what, we have to

15
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,400
Speaker 4: have a fun, spicy title.

16
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,199
Speaker 1: Yes, I love it. I love it.

17
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,720
Speaker 5: Yeah I know.

18
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,519
Speaker 1: But you know, being well endowed is a great thing

19
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:51,160
Speaker 1: in many ways.

20
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:54,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean listen, Okay, So everybody loves to ask, like,

21
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,760
Speaker 4: why is it titled well endowed?

22
00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:57,560
Speaker 5: But if you.

23
00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,200
Speaker 4: Actually, you know, get past the like twelve years old

24
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:03,200
Speaker 4: boy joke. Yeah, think about the phrase well endowed. It's

25
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,600
Speaker 4: describing something, It's describing an endowment. And what is an endowment.

26
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:10,000
Speaker 4: You've heard this phrase, like Harvard's endowment or your favorite

27
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,480
Speaker 4: charity's endowment. And endowment is literally just a pile of

28
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,680
Speaker 4: money that you invest, it grows, and then it allows

29
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:21,080
Speaker 4: any organization to further their mission into perpetuity aka into

30
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,600
Speaker 4: the future forever. I want all of us to be

31
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,880
Speaker 4: well endowed. I want all of us to have a

32
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,000
Speaker 4: pile of money that we can invest, that can grow

33
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,959
Speaker 4: for the future, so that you can actually buy the

34
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,080
Speaker 4: life that you want, because I feel like so many

35
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,360
Speaker 4: people these days make money, they work hard, and then

36
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,600
Speaker 4: they look at their lives and they're like, this isn't

37
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:40,479
Speaker 4: what I bargained for.

38
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,039
Speaker 5: Where did all my money go?

39
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,319
Speaker 4: And they have a closet full of stuff or a

40
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,160
Speaker 4: garage full of cars, and they're still not satisfied.

41
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:48,040
Speaker 1: Oh that's a fact.

42
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,200
Speaker 3: There's a difference in the tone, the energy, and the

43
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,360
Speaker 3: emotion of rich Af and Well Endowed.

44
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,240
Speaker 6: So I'm really.

45
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:59,200
Speaker 3: Curious about what was the personal transformation in you between

46
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,520
Speaker 3: those two books. And I was really struck by an

47
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,760
Speaker 3: AHA moment you had with your parents.

48
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:04,640
Speaker 5: Tell us about that.

49
00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,480
Speaker 4: I mean, listen, I think rich Af was all about,

50
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:11,000
Speaker 4: like my young person journey of how do I get

51
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,720
Speaker 4: smart with my money, budgeting, saving, investing, debt pay down.

52
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,640
Speaker 4: But well, in doubt is the more like, the older,

53
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,240
Speaker 4: more mature like I have it kind of figured out

54
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:26,240
Speaker 4: version of me. But it got to a point where

55
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,560
Speaker 4: I was starting to make really good money. I had

56
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:34,080
Speaker 4: this like life that I loved, but it wasn't necessarily

57
00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,200
Speaker 4: leading me to all of the things that I really

58
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:41,240
Speaker 4: cared about. Right, I didn't have, you know, the freedom

59
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,280
Speaker 4: to spend my time the way I wanted to. I mean,

60
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,240
Speaker 4: my parents were at my place. I had just sent

61
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,160
Speaker 4: them on an all expensive paid vacation, and then they

62
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,119
Speaker 4: came to visit me in New York and I could

63
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,640
Speaker 4: barely get three hours out of my work day to

64
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,600
Speaker 4: take them to brunch and like hang out with them

65
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,720
Speaker 4: for a couple hours. And I don't see them enough,

66
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,440
Speaker 4: And so for me to feel like I have all

67
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:05,200
Speaker 4: this money but I don't understand what true value is,

68
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,760
Speaker 4: that was a very big aha moment where I was like,

69
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:12,320
Speaker 4: I need to reframe, reset what is this money for

70
00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:14,720
Speaker 4: and how do I actually get the life I want.

71
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,720
Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting because you talk about how your

72
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:21,240
Speaker 2: parents were when you were growing up and milestone moments

73
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,600
Speaker 2: that they missed, but you really wanted to have them there.

74
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,880
Speaker 2: And then in this aha moment, you see yourself kind

75
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,200
Speaker 2: of doing I'm doing the same thing what they did,

76
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,760
Speaker 2: yea to them? Yeah, yeah, and I agree with that.

77
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,640
Speaker 2: You know, I've been spending a lot more time with

78
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:36,600
Speaker 2: my parents, which is not something that I've done, but

79
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,440
Speaker 2: it's you know, I think sometimes when things happen, there

80
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,480
Speaker 2: is always that moment where there's like a shift and

81
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,440
Speaker 2: a click like, oh, there's some things that really matter

82
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,760
Speaker 2: to me that I need to be focused on, and

83
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,520
Speaker 2: everything is not about like it's great that you can

84
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,480
Speaker 2: do those things, but them because that is important. Like

85
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,280
Speaker 2: I love the fact that my parents could come to

86
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,280
Speaker 2: my house, they can be comfortable with their space. I

87
00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,760
Speaker 2: can order them food, which I do order and sometimes

88
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,640
Speaker 2: I wish I would be at home making food.

89
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,320
Speaker 1: But time is money, you.

90
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,840
Speaker 4: Know, and your time, by the way, is the only

91
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,360
Speaker 4: thing in this lifetime that you can't make more of.

92
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,760
Speaker 4: You get what you get, and there's I mean, listen,

93
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,280
Speaker 4: you can eat healthy, you can exercise, you can do

94
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,480
Speaker 4: all that stuff. But I'm saying you can go and

95
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,799
Speaker 4: make more money, you can't make more time.

96
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,560
Speaker 3: Right now, the older you get through you realize how

97
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,880
Speaker 3: much you know relationships were, Oh, relationships were the most

98
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:26,599
Speaker 3: important thing.

99
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,680
Speaker 6: How long until I figured that out?

100
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,279
Speaker 3: But I love how you're saying, So you've basically shifted

101
00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,680
Speaker 3: and been like, I'm gonna wealth is about doing what

102
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,560
Speaker 3: I value. Yeah, how do you talk to someone about

103
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,240
Speaker 3: that and convey that message to someone who's on their

104
00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:45,200
Speaker 3: way up to building wealth so that they don't fall

105
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,880
Speaker 3: into that I need more money trap?

106
00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:51,240
Speaker 4: I think really simply put, this is so funny to

107
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,320
Speaker 4: say because I started my career on social media, but

108
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:58,239
Speaker 4: I feel like social media sets us up for failure.

109
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,920
Speaker 4: You know, keeping up with the Joneses and our parents

110
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,440
Speaker 4: generation was you looking across the street and seeing if

111
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,800
Speaker 4: your neighbors had the new car and like they maybe

112
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,839
Speaker 4: they got a flat screen TV. But now keeping up

113
00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:11,080
Speaker 4: with the Joneses is keeping up with the Kardashians, and

114
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,040
Speaker 4: all of a sudden, I'm looking inside of people's private jets.

115
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:18,280
Speaker 4: I'm seeing them literally rent out private islands. I don't

116
00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:20,000
Speaker 4: have private island money. I want to be very clear,

117
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,640
Speaker 4: like I have now.

118
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,320
Speaker 1: Its island, I think.

119
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:24,560
Speaker 6: And a lot.

120
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,719
Speaker 4: But you know what, like I think it's silly because

121
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,960
Speaker 4: like I don't need those things to be happy, right,

122
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,600
Speaker 4: Like I don't need to fly on a private jet

123
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,720
Speaker 4: to feel joy in my life, to feel to feel

124
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,280
Speaker 4: really rich, to feel really wealthy.

125
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,880
Speaker 2: I want to say, I flew on a private jet

126
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,720
Speaker 2: once in my life, and it was scary. It wasn't

127
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,320
Speaker 2: like the nicest one. It was kind of like a

128
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,920
Speaker 2: because there's a different levels of private jets too.

129
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:45,760
Speaker 5: There's levels to this.

130
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:51,760
Speaker 2: Airbnb jet that no, not Airbnb jets, I mean not Airbnb.

131
00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:53,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I meant to say uber jet, uber jet,

132
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:54,240
Speaker 1: like uber je.

133
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:54,520
Speaker 6: Yeah.

134
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, I'd rather have been in fairs class,

135
00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:57,400
Speaker 1: you know.

136
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, But you know, it's more.

137
00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:03,000
Speaker 4: I think the big strugg is that, like we convince

138
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,880
Speaker 4: ourselves that the next big purchase is gonna make you happy.

139
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:06,599
Speaker 5: Right.

140
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,080
Speaker 4: You get the really fancy vacation, you get the next

141
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,599
Speaker 4: designer bag, you get the next X Y Z, and

142
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,039
Speaker 4: it's like a dopamine hend You're happy for like thirty minutes.

143
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,440
Speaker 4: It's the best thirty minutes. But then it's onto the

144
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,240
Speaker 4: next thing, right, It's onto the next thing. But like,

145
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,040
Speaker 4: I went through my closet this past year and I

146
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,760
Speaker 4: pulled out so many things that I had to have

147
00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:31,600
Speaker 4: at the time. Mm hm, and they all got donated, right,

148
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,680
Speaker 4: maybe you wear it once or never at all, because

149
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:34,799
Speaker 4: sometimes we buy things.

150
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then and then you talk about this advertising

151
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,000
Speaker 2: and this whole like you feel like you can only

152
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,880
Speaker 2: wear something one time and once you're pictured with it, click,

153
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,240
Speaker 2: you're done. Yeah, you're like, I can't wear this again.

154
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,880
Speaker 4: And I do that too, And it's so evil, by

155
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:52,000
Speaker 4: the way, especially for women, because think about this. A

156
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:55,480
Speaker 4: man can wear a suit to every single wedding.

157
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,720
Speaker 1: That he is invited to.

158
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,920
Speaker 4: I gotta have a new dress though, otherwise do why

159
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,240
Speaker 4: this girl only have one dress? And it's like, well, no,

160
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,600
Speaker 4: like I have a washing machine, or like I can

161
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,160
Speaker 4: go to the dry clean, like the dress is clean.

162
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,720
Speaker 4: But it's it's not weird for my husband to wear

163
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,880
Speaker 4: the same suit over and over again. But it's like

164
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,960
Speaker 4: kind of an expectation that, like we are constantly looking

165
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,240
Speaker 4: new because that's what we see on social because we

166
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,600
Speaker 4: see our favorite celebrities constantly getting new clothes, wearing new things, which.

167
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,840
Speaker 5: By the way, all a facade.

168
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,200
Speaker 4: As someone who is now in the industry, I literally

169
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,440
Speaker 4: had a stylist come with me today and I look

170
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,480
Speaker 4: nice because she yeah, she she she dressed me. I

171
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,320
Speaker 4: have to give it back though, and people don't realize that.

172
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,360
Speaker 2: But it also makes more sense for you to do that.

173
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,679
Speaker 2: I do want to say, if we talk about time

174
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,920
Speaker 2: management and we talk about money economically, are you going

175
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,000
Speaker 2: to buy this outfit and then keep it and never

176
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,760
Speaker 2: wear it again or would you rather pay a stylist

177
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,560
Speaker 2: And it's not going to be as much as you

178
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:52,400
Speaker 2: having to continually buy one hundred Si, she's going to

179
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,520
Speaker 2: statue it saves you the time and headache.

180
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,360
Speaker 4: And she has a better vision of fashion than I do.

181
00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:00,360
Speaker 4: And so like, I just think that, like we have

182
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,760
Speaker 4: to convince ourselves and realize that, like our regular lives

183
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:07,160
Speaker 4: are enough. We deserve to be happy, but we don't

184
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,480
Speaker 4: need to necessarily buy one more thing to be happy.

185
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:13,120
Speaker 3: That's a big mind that's a that's mindset shifting. So

186
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,720
Speaker 3: what are the tools and things that you give people

187
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:19,440
Speaker 3: to stand up to that? Because it's it's human nature,

188
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,400
Speaker 3: that's our brains are wired to compare. So that's just

189
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,760
Speaker 3: gonna happen. And how do you, you know, kind of

190
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,720
Speaker 3: go to a deeper level, say you don't get pulled

191
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:29,680
Speaker 3: away by that feeling?

192
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,640
Speaker 4: I ask myself this one question before I buy anything.

193
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,320
Speaker 4: Do I want this thing or do I want people

194
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:41,760
Speaker 4: to know I have it? So for me, I'm gonna

195
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,320
Speaker 4: be very vulnerable with you guys here. I got my

196
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,079
Speaker 4: driver's license at sixteen, when regular, you know, young people

197
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:50,000
Speaker 4: get them. I drove for nine months to school for

198
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:54,280
Speaker 4: my last year of high school, and then I went

199
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:55,920
Speaker 4: to college, and I went to college in a city,

200
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,120
Speaker 4: so I didn't drive for those four years. Then I

201
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,560
Speaker 4: moved to New York City didn't drive for all that.

202
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,800
Speaker 4: It's been like over a decade since I've been behind

203
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,160
Speaker 4: the wheel of a car. If you asked me to

204
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:10,240
Speaker 4: drive some very fancy luxury car and a Toyota Prias,

205
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:15,160
Speaker 4: I probably could not tell you the difference in the handling,

206
00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:19,520
Speaker 4: or I couldn't really appreciate the V eight turbo. And

207
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,200
Speaker 4: I don't know what any of those words means. But

208
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,000
Speaker 4: I would want people to know that I drive a

209
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:30,439
Speaker 4: really fancy Bentley because it's sexy. It's something nice to say.

210
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,079
Speaker 4: But when I think about the things in my life

211
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,880
Speaker 4: that I've purchased that have brought me the most value,

212
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,920
Speaker 4: they're not things that are really exciting to brag about.

213
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,920
Speaker 4: Right they're like, Oh, I got a really really good

214
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,800
Speaker 4: mattress because my back was hurting.

215
00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:47,079
Speaker 5: But like, what am I gonna be?

216
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:47,160
Speaker 4: Like?

217
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,920
Speaker 5: Hey, guys, guess kind of a mattress I have?

218
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,520
Speaker 2: I love my mattress, say, and you talk about that

219
00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:55,000
Speaker 2: in the book, Lie, So are you okay with this

220
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:55,720
Speaker 2: purchase if.

221
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:56,880
Speaker 1: No one even knows about it?

222
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:57,360
Speaker 5: Exactly?

223
00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:01,080
Speaker 2: Those are the ones that are important. A mattress and

224
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:03,280
Speaker 2: I do want to say a mattress is set. We

225
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:04,440
Speaker 2: spend so much time in.

226
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:05,440
Speaker 5: Bed a third of your life.

227
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, why not have an amazing mattress and nobody needs

228
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,840
Speaker 2: to know who cares? Like but I think you'll get

229
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,920
Speaker 2: a mattress deal from that.

230
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,520
Speaker 6: We all need new mattresses.

231
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,160
Speaker 5: You guys are so funny because you.

232
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,240
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, we had to do it.

233
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:23,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

234
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:27,640
Speaker 3: This amazing perspective you have on money, I know a

235
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:31,920
Speaker 3: lot of it came from Orphan Duffy. Tell us about

236
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,160
Speaker 3: the Orphan Duffy story.

237
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:34,360
Speaker 5: Yes, okay.

238
00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:37,520
Speaker 4: So when I was in the fifth grade, I was

239
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:41,880
Speaker 4: in the play Annie, and this was like the hot ticket.

240
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,280
Speaker 4: All the kids wanted to be in this play, and

241
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,360
Speaker 4: some of them were so tone off that their parents

242
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:51,000
Speaker 4: then had to complain to get them apart. Fortunately for me,

243
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,080
Speaker 4: I got apart. And not only I got apart, I

244
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,360
Speaker 4: got a part with lines and songs that I had

245
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,320
Speaker 4: to sing, and so I was feeling pretty good about myself.

246
00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:01,600
Speaker 4: I'm in this play and all of these parents are,

247
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:05,720
Speaker 4: you know, coming to this play. They're coming with flowers

248
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:09,160
Speaker 4: and Teddy Bear and all this to see there, you know,

249
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,199
Speaker 4: precious little fifth grader in this play.

250
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,880
Speaker 5: But both of my parents work. Both of my parents worked.

251
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:20,840
Speaker 4: I'm a first generation immigrant kid, so my parents came

252
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,760
Speaker 4: here to this country and they were focused on survival.

253
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,960
Speaker 4: This was not about, oh, we have to thrive. This

254
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,559
Speaker 4: was we got to make ends meet and we have

255
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,000
Speaker 4: to make the math math. So both of my parents worked.

256
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,720
Speaker 4: They worked, you know, pretty decent drives away from our home.

257
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:41,520
Speaker 4: And I remember they didn't come to any of the play,

258
00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:43,559
Speaker 4: Like we put it off for three nights in a row.

259
00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:45,680
Speaker 4: They didn't come to any of them. But they would

260
00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:47,640
Speaker 4: come pick me up from the parking lot afterwards.

261
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:51,000
Speaker 5: I didn't have any flowers. There was no fanfare.

262
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,760
Speaker 4: This was just a fun little after school activity that

263
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,400
Speaker 4: my parents that I wanted to do. And I was

264
00:11:56,559 --> 00:12:03,679
Speaker 4: so jealous and resentful of all these other kids who

265
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:07,640
Speaker 4: had these amazing, cute, little picturesque like lifetime movie families,

266
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,720
Speaker 4: and my parents can do that for me. And so

267
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,320
Speaker 4: I in my head, you know, just being kind of

268
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,840
Speaker 4: like a bitter kid, was like, I will never do

269
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:17,880
Speaker 4: this to my children.

270
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,680
Speaker 5: But we talked about this. I literally did it to

271
00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:23,559
Speaker 5: my parents, did it to them. I literally just did.

272
00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:25,800
Speaker 4: As my parents because I was like, oh, it's more

273
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:30,000
Speaker 4: important for me to provide stability and money and all

274
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,439
Speaker 4: of these things for my parents to be able to

275
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:35,000
Speaker 4: help them retire. Yea yah, yeah, not to realize that

276
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,040
Speaker 4: like all my parents wanted in that moment was just

277
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,120
Speaker 4: to spend a couple hours with me.

278
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,920
Speaker 2: I want to ask you when I was reading that

279
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,960
Speaker 2: part about first of all, I was trying to remember

280
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,480
Speaker 2: who Orphing Duffy was.

281
00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,520
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I gotta go back. But I

282
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:51,319
Speaker 1: was also.

283
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:54,560
Speaker 2: Wondering for your parents to even know that and that

284
00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:57,280
Speaker 2: you felt that way. Were you ever to talk to them,

285
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:01,440
Speaker 2: able to express that to them too, because sometimes you know,

286
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,800
Speaker 2: the kids don't don't though you.

287
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,040
Speaker 5: Know what it was.

288
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,120
Speaker 4: Maybe I don't think I brought it up in that instance,

289
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,440
Speaker 4: but it had happened, like you know, over the course

290
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:14,000
Speaker 4: of my elementary school education because some of the moms

291
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,720
Speaker 4: and I used to call them the PTA moms, because

292
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:20,600
Speaker 4: there were many families in my neighborhood that like could

293
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:24,240
Speaker 4: survive off of one parent's income. There was a breadwinner

294
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,800
Speaker 4: and there was a stay at home mom in most cases,

295
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,160
Speaker 4: and those moms were really involved in the school and

296
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,920
Speaker 4: like sometimes e would like come to lunch and like

297
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:35,120
Speaker 4: bring their kid like Subway or McDonald's, and it was

298
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,839
Speaker 4: like such a treat. But like my mom never did

299
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,520
Speaker 4: any of that. My mom was busy. My mom was

300
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:44,000
Speaker 4: trying to make money. And so I think there was

301
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,040
Speaker 4: one instance that like, you know, I just made a

302
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:50,920
Speaker 4: comment about how you know this one kid's mom is

303
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,319
Speaker 4: a PTA mom. I wish you could be a PTA mom.

304
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:58,520
Speaker 4: And I think it really hurt my parents, if I'm honest.

305
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,640
Speaker 4: But you know, they got down to eye level. And

306
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,400
Speaker 4: this wasn't even a situation where like I got in

307
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,960
Speaker 4: trouble or that yelled at me, but it was just

308
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:10,640
Speaker 4: like they explained, they were like, we don't have the

309
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:15,760
Speaker 4: you know, facilities, the resources to do that, and I'm

310
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,840
Speaker 4: sorry that sucks, but.

311
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:19,800
Speaker 5: Life's not fair.

312
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:25,920
Speaker 4: And it really did, like I was just like, what

313
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,040
Speaker 4: am I supposed to say to that?

314
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:31,920
Speaker 5: But I think there were many moments.

315
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:35,120
Speaker 4: Throughout the course of my childhood, throughout my teenage years,

316
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,560
Speaker 4: when it became very abundantly clear to me that like

317
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:41,280
Speaker 4: other families had more money than us, that like I

318
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:44,080
Speaker 4: never ever wanted to feel like this as an adult,

319
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,680
Speaker 4: Like I was like, I'm going to be rich, like

320
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,480
Speaker 4: that was my goal. Yeah, Like I was like, I

321
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,480
Speaker 4: don't care what job I do. I need to make

322
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:53,320
Speaker 4: as much money as humanly possibly because I never wanted

323
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:57,280
Speaker 4: to feel like I couldn't have something or that I

324
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,920
Speaker 4: couldn't be there for something, and it just it hurts

325
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:00,480
Speaker 4: so bad.

326
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was other good luck with the stay in

327
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:04,840
Speaker 3: your childhood for just to.

328
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:05,800
Speaker 5: Wow, we're just trauma.

329
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:10,240
Speaker 6: Dontais no no, no, no, okay. Buffet strategy okay, not

330
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:10,840
Speaker 6: a see.

331
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,040
Speaker 1: I just want to say, my dad is Chinese.

332
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, when I tell you the buffet strategy is a

333
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,720
Speaker 2: real this is culture.

334
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:18,680
Speaker 1: They love a.

335
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,120
Speaker 2: Buff We're going to a buffet for things. I mean

336
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:24,120
Speaker 2: we go to buffets for like Thanksgiving, Chinese New Year's

337
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,880
Speaker 2: coming up. Oh yeah, that buffet is a thing. And

338
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,000
Speaker 2: we got to go up several times whether or not.

339
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:33,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, first off, hunger has nothing. Hunger has nothing to

340
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,560
Speaker 4: do with how much you eat at a buffet.

341
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,240
Speaker 5: Okay, so.

342
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:39,840
Speaker 1: It does not.

343
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,640
Speaker 4: It doesn't matter. I don't care if you're hungry or not.

344
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,760
Speaker 4: You're gonna eat until we get the value. So the

345
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:48,480
Speaker 4: Chinese buffet story is growing up again. My parents didn't

346
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,200
Speaker 4: have too much money to spend on dining out, but

347
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,520
Speaker 4: when we would go out to eat, we would go

348
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,000
Speaker 4: to a Chinese buffet because it was the most value

349
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,480
Speaker 4: optimized place to go absolutely, And what we would do is,

350
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,720
Speaker 4: first off, my parents were one thousand percent lying about

351
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,480
Speaker 4: me being like eleven for like four years, I didn't

352
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,800
Speaker 4: get that grocerper and they were like, cool, she's eleven again.

353
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,040
Speaker 4: But we would go to this buffet and my parents

354
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,600
Speaker 4: would get like the half rate for me because I

355
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,800
Speaker 4: was eleven. And then there was a strategy. We would

356
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,280
Speaker 4: go and stand by the seafood area where they would

357
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:23,720
Speaker 4: bring out like the crab, the shrimp, the lobster, all

358
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,840
Speaker 4: of the very expensive stuff, like the stuff that you

359
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,520
Speaker 4: know is like premium ticket when you go to the

360
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,280
Speaker 4: grocery store and after you ate as much as you

361
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,600
Speaker 4: could humanly eat.

362
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:33,760
Speaker 5: Of that like you can't button your pants at.

363
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,640
Speaker 1: The store, Maybe put some in your bag.

364
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:39,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, truly you thought I wasn't bringing a tupperware.

365
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,480
Speaker 4: After that, you would then go to the meats. But

366
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,360
Speaker 4: I'm not talking like chicken. I'm talking the expensive meats,

367
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,960
Speaker 4: like the steaks, lamb pork. Okay, we would do that

368
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:53,200
Speaker 4: again at this point you feel ill, then you would

369
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,960
Speaker 4: go to the vegetable section, not cheap vegetables like broccoli.

370
00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:01,840
Speaker 4: I'm talking pea shoots, snow peas, like the expensive vegetables. Okay,

371
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,200
Speaker 4: once you get your fill of vegetables, then and only

372
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,040
Speaker 4: then can you go it to really one Yeah, which

373
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:10,280
Speaker 4: is by the way, I was eleven, quote unquote, I

374
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,159
Speaker 4: wanted to get pizza.

375
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,480
Speaker 5: I wanted to get fried rice, and.

376
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:16,040
Speaker 4: My parents were like, don't you dare eat that because

377
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:19,960
Speaker 4: it's the lowest value item. So I've eaten seafood, meat,

378
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,760
Speaker 4: and vegetables, and now I'm finally allowed to have a

379
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:22,800
Speaker 4: little bit of carbohydrate.

380
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,280
Speaker 5: But because I have.

381
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:30,240
Speaker 4: Always been taught to seek out value and optimize for price,

382
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:34,880
Speaker 4: I feel like making smart financial decisions and like optimizing

383
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,280
Speaker 4: my life is like a birthright because we have been

384
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,480
Speaker 4: doing it since we were kids, and our parents would

385
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,600
Speaker 4: instill in us how to do it, like even now,

386
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:46,320
Speaker 4: like my like, I took my parents out to dinner

387
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,679
Speaker 4: and I was like, oh, yeah, can I get like

388
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:52,360
Speaker 4: a diet coke? And I ordered appetizers and my parents.

389
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:53,560
Speaker 1: Were like, oh, they get freaked out.

390
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,040
Speaker 4: They were like no, no, no, no, no. Everybody drinks water. Everybody

391
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:57,600
Speaker 4: drinks water and we get one main each.

392
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 1: And I hate when they asked how much is that?

393
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,560
Speaker 1: How much was the bill? And You're like, don't worry,

394
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:02,200
Speaker 1: you're not even.

395
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:02,879
Speaker 5: You're not paying it.

396
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:03,679
Speaker 6: Why are you asking?

397
00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:04,639
Speaker 1: Why do you care?

398
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:05,960
Speaker 6: How much were the baby?

399
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:06,439
Speaker 5: Yeah?

400
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,919
Speaker 4: But you know what, even when it's my money, my

401
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:09,679
Speaker 4: parents want to save it.

402
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:09,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

403
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,360
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, it's just cultural.

404
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,879
Speaker 2: Anytime my dad asked me how much something costs, I

405
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,359
Speaker 2: lie yeah or you know, I'm like, I don't remember

406
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,199
Speaker 2: it was on still I think it was like I

407
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 2: think this was like twenty five dollars and he's like really,

408
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,000
Speaker 2: and I'm like yes.

409
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,080
Speaker 4: Like I can't even tell them what stuff costs anymore

410
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,159
Speaker 4: because then they won't enjoy it.

411
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:28,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

412
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:31,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, like that was my dad stuff, like if I

413
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,680
Speaker 2: get him something and I'm like, I got this for free.

414
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,600
Speaker 2: Somebody sent it to me at work. He's like, oh,

415
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,640
Speaker 2: and then he'll love it. Love my time I pay

416
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:38,040
Speaker 2: for it.

417
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,320
Speaker 5: He hates, Yeah, hates you shot that.

418
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, he gets a bad what'd you buy this for? Yeah?

419
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, this is.

420
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,120
Speaker 6: This is just so interesting. Listen to the two of you.

421
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,159
Speaker 3: I give a speech at the university and the Chinese

422
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,199
Speaker 3: woman came up to me after and she was crying,

423
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,880
Speaker 3: and I'm like, was my speech that bad? And she's

424
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,159
Speaker 3: like no, no, no, no no, And she's like, I

425
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,399
Speaker 3: just got into Harvard Business School. And I'm like, I

426
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:02,400
Speaker 3: really don't know why you're crying now, right, Yeah, And

427
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,880
Speaker 3: what I was talking about is cultural conditioning and how

428
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,280
Speaker 3: that plays out in our families and stuff. And she

429
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:13,200
Speaker 3: said her parents would not even let her consider taking

430
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,680
Speaker 3: on student loan debt to pay for that university because

431
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 3: of their relationship with debt. And in the speech I

432
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,680
Speaker 3: was giving, it was the first time. It's not personal.

433
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,120
Speaker 3: I'm not a bad person. It's cultural conditioning. That's why

434
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,119
Speaker 3: she was crying. But that's so deep.

435
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,440
Speaker 5: That's so funny too, because.

436
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 6: I'm not a bad speaker.

437
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:38,119
Speaker 4: You're my dad had this like conspiracy theory which, by

438
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 4: the way, guys, this is not true.

439
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,680
Speaker 5: So I applied to a lot of very top.

440
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,880
Speaker 4: Universities and they were elite schools, and they all said

441
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 4: that we're need blind, so like your application is considered

442
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,320
Speaker 4: regardless of if you can pay for the universe you're not.

443
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 4: And I was like, Dad, like should we apply for

444
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 4: financial aid? And my dad was convinced. He was like,

445
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:04,120
Speaker 4: absolutely not because they say they're need blind, but they're

446
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:07,880
Speaker 4: definitely need looking and they're looking and if you need money,

447
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 4: they're not going to let you in. And this was

448
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,159
Speaker 4: a time and like, you know, there was a lot

449
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,640
Speaker 4: of pressure on me to like get into a good

450
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 4: university because in many immigrant communities, especially my family, it

451
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 4: felt like the only key to socioeconomic mobility and like

452
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 4: the ability to like increase where my station in life

453
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,240
Speaker 4: was was to get that education. Yeah, And so my

454
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,280
Speaker 4: dad was like, we're not taking any chances.

455
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 5: We don't believe it. Yeah, but you know what it was.

456
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:39,159
Speaker 4: I got a merit scholarship from the college I went to,

457
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,399
Speaker 4: so they paid for a like a hefty portion of it.

458
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,959
Speaker 4: Then I got a bunch of outside scholarships, and then

459
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 4: my parents helped me fund the rest of it with

460
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 4: a five two nine.

461
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, how's that pressure playing on you when you're in

462
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,880
Speaker 3: school knowing you're gonna have to do that stuff?

463
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 4: Oh well, I mean there was no pressure because my life,

464
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,800
Speaker 4: my fate was decided for me.

465
00:20:58,920 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 5: Please.

466
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,639
Speaker 4: I was told that I could be a lawyer, doctor,

467
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,640
Speaker 4: an engineer. And when I found finance, they were like, Okay,

468
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 4: that's a bonus fourth option.

469
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 5: Fine, that works. We can deal with that, and we

470
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 5: can live with that.

471
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,440
Speaker 4: But there were people who were like, I want to

472
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:16,720
Speaker 4: be an English major or a classics or a philosophy major,

473
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 4: but you know what, my parents are like, good for them,

474
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,160
Speaker 4: that's not for you.

475
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,399
Speaker 5: Like that was not available to me, Absolutely not.

476
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,679
Speaker 4: So you know, I think it was pretty clear to

477
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:33,120
Speaker 4: me that, like, after school, I wasn't getting a dime

478
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 4: of help from my parents, and I didn't. I moved

479
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 4: to New York City from Chicago. I went to the

480
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 4: University of Chicago. I moved there based on the money

481
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 4: that my first job gave me as a relocation bonus.

482
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,120
Speaker 4: So I used that money to pay two guys from

483
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,119
Speaker 4: campus who were also moving to New York. We got

484
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 4: a U haul together and I paid them a little

485
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 4: extras for them to drive it, and I flew cause

486
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,679
Speaker 4: again I didn't I'm not confident in driving a U

487
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 4: haul across state lines. But like, I use that money,

488
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 4: and I knew my parents were going to help me,

489
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 4: and so I was like, I need to make money again,

490
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 4: I want to be rich. But also my parents aren't

491
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 4: going to help me. I don't have parents that can

492
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 4: help me with rent. I don't have parents that can

493
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 4: help me, you know, buy a new wardrobe for my job.

494
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 4: I have to pay for this myself, and I did.

495
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 4: And so I think for me, there was that consistent

496
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 4: conditioning of like, you are getting a huge privilege by

497
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 4: not having student loan debt, but you better make something

498
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,119
Speaker 4: of yourself. You better figure it out because there's no

499
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 4: safety net after this.

500
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:34,479
Speaker 6: You know.

501
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,680
Speaker 1: Vivian, you also and well and Dawd.

502
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 2: You talk about relationships, you talk about marriage.

503
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 6: Dan.

504
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 2: Do we have the clip now, Now this isn't in

505
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 2: the book, but this is a viral clip and I

506
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 2: want to get your take on this. This is Cameron

507
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 2: talk with Fella. He's actually on his show talking to

508
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 2: his ex girlfriend okay, about the time that she needed

509
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 2: some money. Yeah, and he I guess didn't give it

510
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 2: to her, and I want you to hear there back

511
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,159
Speaker 2: and forth explanation, and I want you to kind of

512
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 2: analyze this.

513
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 5: Okay, we're going to analyze.

514
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,199
Speaker 2: So, as a woman, if I share my body with

515
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 2: a man, I shouldn't expect him to want to put

516
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:12,480
Speaker 2: sex and provide for me.

517
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 6: I'd rather invest in my female than give my female.

518
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 4: And that's the problem.

519
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,879
Speaker 3: Never because you had bad investments.

520
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 4: That's why you're in nursing school.

521
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 5: That's not why I'm in nursing school.

522
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 1: I've been working on my nursing degree since twenty nineteen.

523
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 4: Why don't have it yet?

524
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,880
Speaker 2: I opened the business to help me get through nurses school.

525
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 4: Which was a bad which income, which was a bad investment.

526
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:38,120
Speaker 5: Wow wow Yeah.

527
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 2: So I want to get your thoughts on her saying

528
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 2: that if I'm laying down with a man, he should

529
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:48,439
Speaker 2: be protecting and providing, and then him saying that he

530
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 2: doesn't want to give you money, but he would invest,

531
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,880
Speaker 2: and then she's saying he didn't, and then he's saying.

532
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,359
Speaker 5: You make bad investment.

533
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 1: So I want to get.

534
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,160
Speaker 6: Calling her as he's calling her a lot of names.

535
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,639
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, So I think one we are listening to

536
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 4: a post relationship couple, right, So like they already don't

537
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:08,639
Speaker 4: like each other, so we have to look at it

538
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 4: through that lens. They're saying some nasty stuff about each other.

539
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 4: But I think it is unreasonable for any partner to

540
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 4: expect their partner to fund their lifestyle. So I think

541
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:26,400
Speaker 4: she's in the wrong for expecting him to pay for everything. However,

542
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 4: I do like what he said about I don't want

543
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,639
Speaker 4: to give you money. I want to invest in you.

544
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 4: I want to like help you. I want to teach

545
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 4: you how to give you resources because I feel like

546
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 4: the you know, teach a man of fish versus give

547
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:42,159
Speaker 4: a man of fish is a better strategy. However, listen,

548
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 4: She's like, there's a lot here, There's a lot going

549
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:49,120
Speaker 4: on here. I think he made some really good points.

550
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 4: He asked why she hadn't completed the nursing degree. It

551
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 4: sounds like there was some sort of failed business venture.

552
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 4: It seems like there were some poor judgment calls made

553
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,359
Speaker 4: when it came to her spending, to how she was,

554
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:07,679
Speaker 4: you know, using that money.

555
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,680
Speaker 5: I feel like the.

556
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,680
Speaker 4: Business knowledge just wasn't one hundred percent there. I think

557
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,239
Speaker 4: at the time when they were still together, when they

558
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:19,959
Speaker 4: still liked each other, a more loving and more caring

559
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,400
Speaker 4: thing to do on both of their ends, versus him

560
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,359
Speaker 4: being like you're a bad investment in her being like,

561
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,439
Speaker 4: you don't care about me and you don't provide for me.

562
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 4: Is they actually needed to sit down and be like, hey, Cameron,

563
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 4: you're this incredible artist. You're probably touring, You're probably busy.

564
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 4: I'm taking care of certain things at home. I'm making

565
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,840
Speaker 4: sure that when you come home there's a hot meal

566
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 4: on the table. I'm doing all of this as a

567
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 4: woman that is unpaid labor. You have expectations of what

568
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 4: I'm bringing to the table, So I like, there needs

569
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 4: to be some sort of like compensation for that unpaid leak.

570
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 3: Look at it, looking at it as a job, correct,

571
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 3: and this is what it's.

572
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 6: This is what I get every month for doing that.

573
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 4: It's the same thing with a stay at home parent,

574
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 4: when the state when a stayle parent is the chauffeur,

575
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 4: the chef, the nanny, the housekeeper, there everything, But then.

576
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 6: Working women have to do all that, right.

577
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, But just to say that, like, if your husband

578
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 4: goes out and makes all the money and then you

579
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,960
Speaker 4: do all those things at home, the money he makes

580
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:22,680
Speaker 4: is not his money.

581
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,359
Speaker 5: It's your together money.

582
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, because people always act like she don't work, she

583
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 2: stays at home.

584
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 1: That is a lot of work.

585
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 3: It's so much, so many things, because a lot of

586
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 3: women will, you know, take care of their kids someone.

587
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 3: You know, there's that unspoken thing, you're the breadwinner. I'm

588
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 3: going to stay home and take care of the kids.

589
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 3: Always telling them put a value on that. And that's funny.

590
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,639
Speaker 3: Why because you need a prenup Because what you just

591
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 3: heard from her is what happened. What happens when you're

592
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 3: completely financially dependent on somebody and the relationship falls apart.

593
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 5: I never want to have to depend on a man.

594
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 3: Right because if if you're financially independent, you can conduct

595
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 3: your differently in the relationship.

596
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 4: You get to make decisions out of a place of abundance,

597
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 4: You have options, you have choices. When you are dependent

598
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 4: on someone else, if they have the power to feed you,

599
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 4: they have the power to starve you.

600
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 6: That's why you want to be well endown.

601
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 2: Now, can we talk about getting financially naked and a

602
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 2: relationship and what that means.

603
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, So getting financially naked is so uncomfortable because you

604
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 4: have to lay it all out there. You have to

605
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 4: talk about what you make, what you have in terms

606
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,959
Speaker 4: of assets, what you owe in terms of debt, and

607
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 4: also what you're spending and expenses are. And I feel

608
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 4: like more relationships would succeed if people got financially naked

609
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:43,439
Speaker 4: earlier and got naked naked later, because we feel so

610
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 4: comfortable now, especially as pop culture has become more and

611
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:51,200
Speaker 4: more progressive, Like people are really comfortable talking about intimacy,

612
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 4: People are really comfortable talking about bodies and you know,

613
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,919
Speaker 4: relationships like that. But you need to be just as

614
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 4: comfortable getting financially naked, because nearly half of couples don't

615
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 4: talk about money until they're already engaged. Engaged, you've already

616
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 4: made some sort of financial investment at this point to

617
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 4: say we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together.

618
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 4: The problem is money and intimacy are the top two

619
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 4: reasons why couples fight.

620
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,320
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, I wonder if that's the same

621
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:18,920
Speaker 3: fifty percent that are right, that are the fifty percent

622
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 3: of married couples of a good divorce.

623
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 4: Right, I mean, listen, like, I just think if you

624
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 4: are able to eliminate one of the top two reasons

625
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 4: why couples fight, you're just gonna have a better relationship.

626
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's so telling.

627
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 3: Also, my ex's of my best friends great coplays, we're

628
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 3: married for ten years.

629
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 6: We were never able to talk about money easily.

630
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 2: Never, never, and that shit that was such a red Yeah,

631
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 2: that's indicative of a ready You're able to even have

632
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 2: somebody handles their finances.

633
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I also can tell you a lot about them.

634
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 5: One hundred percent.

635
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 4: I always say, this person doesn't need to be debt free.

636
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 4: They don't need to be the richest person. They don't

637
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 4: need to be the biggest earner. They need to value

638
00:28:58,080 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 4: a dollar the same way you do.

639
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 6: They need to be honest. It's like having the same

640
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 6: love language exactly.

641
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting to me Stacy was talking earlier

642
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 2: about the journey between richef and well endowed and the

643
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 2: things you've been through because you're able to talk about

644
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:14,480
Speaker 2: like marriage and buying a house and a car, some

645
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 2: of the biggest purchases you know that you'll make and

646
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 2: compare like buying versus leasing. There's always these conversations online

647
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 2: that turn into arguments with people.

648
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 5: People just like to argue.

649
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 2: You see the argument about home ownership and like you said,

650
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 2: this is not a one size fits all things, right,

651
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 2: And so even with home ownership, that's a conversation that

652
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 2: people are having do I rent?

653
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 1: People are talking about why?

654
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 4: You know.

655
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 2: Some people will tell you renting is a better idea

656
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 2: and I only rent and I wouldn't want to own

657
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:42,640
Speaker 2: a home and all the problems that come with it.

658
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: Some people will tell you that owning a home, I

659
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 1: mean sorry, owning a home is a bad idea.

660
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 2: Some people will tell you that renting is a bad idea,

661
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 2: and it's never a one size fits all, never great point.

662
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 1: But you give us a lot of tools to figure

663
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 1: out what will work for us.

664
00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, one hundred percent, because how crazy would it be

665
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 4: to say that millions and millions of people should all

666
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 4: be doing the exact same thing. You don't make the

667
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 4: same type of money, you don't live in the same

668
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 4: geographical region, which, by the way, real estate is entirely

669
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 4: geographically dependent. But also like your lifestyle is different, Like

670
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 4: if you are someone who's trying to plant roots, you

671
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 4: know you're gonna be here for over a decade. Buying

672
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 4: might be a really smart way for you to build

673
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 4: equity in a property that you are going to be

674
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 4: in for a long time. Great, maybe you are young,

675
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 4: Maybe you have the opportunity to get a big promotion

676
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 4: if you go and run the Tokyo office, the London office,

677
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 4: the LA office, and all of a sudden you got

678
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 4: to pick up your life and move in three months.

679
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 4: Are you going to be able to get out of

680
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 4: your house in three months?

681
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 5: I don't know.

682
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 4: The housing market is not that liquid, and so you

683
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 4: have to think about what are the things that are

684
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 4: going to cost you money and what you're going to

685
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 4: make money from. But like again, you want to be

686
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 4: in a place for less than five to seven years.

687
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 4: You know what the closing on a house are. You

688
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 4: don't get that money back that doesn't go into the

689
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 4: equity of your house. That gets paid to people. So

690
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 4: the frictional costs are very high homeowners' associations or building

691
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 4: fees or.

692
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,400
Speaker 1: Same mansion tax because that's high.

693
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 5: That's high.

694
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 6: Yeah.

695
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 4: But like I got back from the winter holidays this year, guys,

696
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 4: my HVAC was broken. Oh there's ten thousand dollars. I

697
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 4: wasn't planning on spending that. I now have to pay

698
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 4: a contractor to rip open my ceiling. I have to

699
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 4: pay the HVAC guys to come redo the coil. Then

700
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 4: I have to pay the general contractor to come do

701
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 4: the drywall again. And now all of a sudden, I've

702
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 4: paid a bunch of people. I've spent ten thousand dollars

703
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 4: and my house looks the same. But it's just like that,

704
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 4: and it's so fuz. Do you know what I would

705
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 4: have liked to spend ten thousand dollars on? Literally anything else?

706
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 4: Like you know, being a homeowner is great. I own

707
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 4: in New York City, but I'm also a renter in Florida.

708
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 4: And if I were to go to Los Angeles for

709
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,960
Speaker 4: some TV work, I would probably rent there. I don't

710
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 4: know what my life looks like, but I need to

711
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 4: have flexibility. I need to be able to have all

712
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 4: of these things. And so I think there are benefits

713
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 4: to both, there are cons to both, and you have

714
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 4: to think about your lifestyle.

715
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 6: Absolutely.

716
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 3: I have three homes that I own that are investment

717
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 3: properties and one that I use that I wrint yep

718
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 3: exactly for that flexibility.

719
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 2: Exactly, you know one thing that and I'm always trying

720
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 2: to grow my knowledge financially. And when you talked about

721
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 2: home ownership not being as liquid. That is something that

722
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 2: I was just told by the person who I'm working

723
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 2: with with my finances. They're like, okay, you need to

724
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 2: get somewhere liquid assets for yourself. And I was like, okay,

725
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 2: fair enough, because I've always been so big into real

726
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 2: estate and so I feel I'm just comfortable and like tangible.

727
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 5: You like to be able to touch the wall and

728
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 5: be like this is mine. But that's the problem.

729
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 4: When I say the word liquid, what that really just

730
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 4: means is like how quickly can you turn something into

731
00:32:58,880 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 4: cold hor.

732
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 6: Cash You're gonna need it without making on debt exactly.

733
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 4: So like buying investments in the stock market, very liquid,

734
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 4: you can sell in and out of those probably in

735
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 4: a day or two, like you need you know, three

736
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 4: to five days for the funds to clear, but you're

737
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 4: in and out in a week. Great making investments in

738
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 4: real estate are Do you think if I listed a

739
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 4: home on Monday it would be sold, signed, sealed, and

740
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 4: delivered by the following Monday.

741
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 5: I don't think so.

742
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 3: Right, You're back in that cultural stuff because in our

743
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 3: in the black community, you know, first of all, we

744
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 3: used to be property, right, so it's got a very

745
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 3: special thing there. We don't trust financial institutions for very

746
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 3: very good reasons, and we understand real estate, but you're

747
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 3: starting to see the younger generations doing something different, and

748
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 3: they're like, I don't want that real estate and they're

749
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 3: putting it in stocks.

750
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 6: Yeah.

751
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 4: Well, I also think in particular, like the African American

752
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 4: community has been systematically prevented from making real estate investments,

753
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 4: whether it was actually prevented like redlining or being chased

754
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 4: out of neighborhoods, but even just more soft biases i'll

755
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 4: call them, or just frankly discrimination on the back end.

756
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 4: If you go into a play into a bank to

757
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 4: go get a mortgage, they look you up and down,

758
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 4: they size you up, and they give you a certain

759
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 4: you know term based on your financials. We have literally

760
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 4: seen black families' homes get appraised for half the price

761
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 4: as they get a praised for six months later when

762
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 4: they have their white friend pretend.

763
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:37,280
Speaker 6: To be the owner with Senator Booker. Yeah literally, reset,

764
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 6: it's so so awful.

765
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 5: But I think there's something to be said about the

766
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 5: next generation.

767
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 6: Yes, it's different.

768
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 5: It's different because they saw the housing crisis, they saw

769
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 5: a lot of.

770
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 4: Those things happen to their parents, they saw the challenges

771
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,320
Speaker 4: and they're like, well, they're not going to give me

772
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 4: a different price when I buy this, you know on

773
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 4: my app, like my Fidelity app. Like I am going

774
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 4: to get a fair shake. I'm gonna be in a

775
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 4: very liquid asset. I think there's a lot of appeal

776
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 4: to that.

777
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 6: Oh definitely.

778
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 4: Yeah.

779
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:13,320
Speaker 3: Online lending eliminates eighty percent of that discrimination, and Blacks

780
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 3: pay two hundred billion dollars a year in extra fees

781
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 3: and taxes.

782
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 6: So it's important, important, important, importance.

783
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,440
Speaker 2: You know, as we're talking about important financial decisions, you

784
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 2: also said the most important financial decision you'll.

785
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:30,359
Speaker 5: Ever make is your significant other.

786
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, Now break that down for us, Okay,

787
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 2: you know, for some people it's hard to look at

788
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 2: marriage and love as.

789
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,720
Speaker 1: Something that is a financial decision.

790
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 6: It's getting hot here.

791
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:46,479
Speaker 5: Of course, you know, we always keep it spicy. Here's

792
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,399
Speaker 5: the thing. Life is hard.

793
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 4: I'm gonna just say that. And when I go home,

794
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 4: I don't want to be living with a hater at

795
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:57,879
Speaker 4: home because that person is supposed to be your safe space.

796
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 4: That person is supposed to open, like open the door,

797
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 4: have their arms open, you run into them, and they

798
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 4: make you feel safe. They make you feel like the

799
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 4: sun shines out of your butt. Great, But I know

800
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 4: so many people whose significant others are haters are secret haters.

801
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 4: They are competitive with their partner. They want they want

802
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 4: you to do well, but not better than them, And

803
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 4: that is deeply problematic for a number of reasons. But

804
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,840
Speaker 4: first off, studies have shown that if you have a

805
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 4: conscientious partner, you are on average, every single year, going

806
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:36,360
Speaker 4: to make four percent more. That's money in your pocket.

807
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 4: If you're conscientious, that's money in your partner's pocket. You

808
00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 4: are making compounding more and more money every single year

809
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 4: because you support each other when things get busy, because

810
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 4: you encourage each other to take big opportunities, because you

811
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:52,800
Speaker 4: want them to do well, even if it means it

812
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:56,360
Speaker 4: outshines you. And the best example I give of this

813
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 4: is when I first started dating my husband, and you know,

814
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 4: he was like random dude I met in a bar

815
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 4: through a coworker, like he made meaningfully more money than me.

816
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 4: At the greatest difference was probably three or four years

817
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 4: in he made three to four times as much as

818
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 4: I did, and he never made me feel less than

819
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,400
Speaker 4: for making less. Then he would pay for more of

820
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,719
Speaker 4: our rent. He would pay for more of our vacations.

821
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 4: He would cover more of our dinners. And he was

822
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:27,760
Speaker 4: so generous, both with his money but mostly with his time.

823
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 5: And his love and his effort.

824
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 4: And when I decided to leave my full time job

825
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 4: and take your rich BFF full time, I turned him

826
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,719
Speaker 4: and I was like, what if I don't make a

827
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 4: dollar in the first year that I'm doing this? And

828
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 4: he said, do you think we'll starve on my salary?

829
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 5: And I was like, okay, Daddy wore bus, No, we're not.

830
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 4: But because he gave me that golden parachute, I always

831
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 4: knew I could pull that parachute.

832
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 5: If things got bad, he.

833
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 4: Would always be able to cover the rent, he would

834
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 4: always be able to pay for you know, our dinners.

835
00:37:58,960 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 5: Whatever.

836
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 4: I was able to make a really big leap. I

837
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 4: took your to BFF full time. I started my own company,

838
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 4: and it was scary at certain points, but because I

839
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,879
Speaker 4: could take that big swing, I was able to make

840
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 4: so much more. I was able to advance my career.

841
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 4: I mean, I'll tell you got the New York Times

842
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,760
Speaker 4: reported last year my business made seven million dollars.

843
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 5: Wow, I am the breadwinner. I know that my family.

844
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 1: I love that, but I didn't even have a bidding

845
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 1: war for your book. Yes, yeah, that's a yeah deal though.

846
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, you have to feel so good. Yeah, thank you.

847
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 5: But here's the thing.

848
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 4: I didn't get to this position of being the breadwinner

849
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 4: in my family without having a conscientious partner who supported

850
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 4: me day in and day out. He was holding my

851
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 4: hand on the days when I was announced, you know,

852
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 4: on time one hundred and four to thirty under thirty. Sure,

853
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 4: he was really there, he was like, yeah, I love you, amazing.

854
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 4: But he was also there when makeup is streaming down

855
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 4: my face, I'm in tears. Something's not working. It's the

856
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 4: day before I have to go do something, and I

857
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 4: didn't sell enough tickets. Nothing works, everything's terrible. He has

858
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 4: been there for both and I'm telling you, I am

859
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 4: a richer woman because of that man.

860
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:16,320
Speaker 2: And sometimes when the dynamics shift to where he's the breadwinner,

861
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 2: and then you're making all this money because they'll act

862
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 2: like they want it and then you do it. Yeah,

863
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,840
Speaker 2: and then that is hard for men too at times.

864
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, But if it's only hard for men, if the

865
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 4: only thing they bring to the table is money, Yes,

866
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:35,760
Speaker 4: I want to see men bring. Sure you can bring finances,

867
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 4: financial stability, that's what we have told them is really

868
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 4: important over the past couple decades. But I want you

869
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,800
Speaker 4: to bring emotional maturity. I want you to bring like

870
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 4: generosity with your time, with your love, with your support.

871
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 4: I want to see you pick up around the house.

872
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:50,719
Speaker 5: Heaven forbid, women are.

873
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 1: I would love to see that.

874
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 6: But no comment.

875
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:00,319
Speaker 5: Yeah, if you are a man who does those things.

876
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:03,839
Speaker 4: Though, if you have a significant other who's a woman

877
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:05,800
Speaker 4: and she starts to out earn you, you still know

878
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 4: you bring so much to the table though. You are

879
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 4: literally a provider in more ways than one.

880
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 2: And I think even to your point of not making

881
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 2: that person feel less less. Sometimes people will provide but

882
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 2: throw it in your face all the time.

883
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 5: Don't do that.

884
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 6: I hate that.

885
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like, don't be like yeah, and remember when I

886
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,840
Speaker 5: got you that? Like, ew gross.

887
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 3: This is deep because there's a woman's side of this

888
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 3: issue too. What do you both think of this? So

889
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 3: the Federal Reserve, so, first of all, like eighty percent

890
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 3: of women in the United States are primary breadwinners. Yeah,

891
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:39,640
Speaker 3: Federal Reserve found that when a woman out earns her spouse,

892
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:45,319
Speaker 3: the majority will still lie to their friends and people

893
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 3: around them and say that their spouse out earns them

894
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:50,360
Speaker 3: even when they out earn their spouse. What do you

895
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:51,240
Speaker 3: think that's about.

896
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,760
Speaker 4: I think it's perception. It's helping them keep up the ego,

897
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 4: the machra like the machismo. But I think that does

898
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,919
Speaker 4: a disservice to the relationship.

899
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:03,840
Speaker 6: It's women throwing themselves away.

900
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like you're downplaying your success because you think

901
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:08,360
Speaker 4: other people can't handle.

902
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 1: It, like worried about what other people are.

903
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, this is their partner, Like you should shine bright.

904
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 4: I mean, like, if I'm honest with you, guys, my

905
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 4: mom told me, she was like, you should like kind

906
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 4: of downplay how much you're making when.

907
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 5: You talk to your husband about it.

908
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 4: And I was like, unfortunately for you, I chose a

909
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 4: partner who is very very modern in that like he

910
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 4: wants me to make as much as possible.

911
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 5: He wants me to do as well as possible, like.

912
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 4: I think in more traditional senses, like in traditional gender norms.

913
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 5: Like my mom didn't want me to say.

914
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's exactly what that research, because.

915
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 4: It's just it's crazy to me, because if you truly

916
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 4: love your partner, wuldn't you want them to do the

917
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 4: best they could possibly do. And I asked my husband

918
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 4: about this, by the way, because I was so curious

919
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 4: what he thought.

920
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:55,320
Speaker 5: And you know what he said. He was like, you

921
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 5: think I don't like free money. You think I don't

922
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 5: want to get to the next house sooner. You think

923
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:01,800
Speaker 5: I don't want to go on a nicer vacation.

924
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,239
Speaker 4: And he just laughed about it, and he was like,

925
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 4: I know what I'm capable of. And I will say,

926
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 4: I do want to call you out this. My husband

927
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 4: is a huge, like hugely successful individual, like great job,

928
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 4: great income. In any other reality, he would be our

929
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:20,840
Speaker 4: family spread winner. I just have a very unique situation

930
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 4: right here, right right. But like I think he is

931
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 4: confident enough in himself that I don't need to dim

932
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:27,479
Speaker 4: my life for him.

933
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 5: To feel bright.

934
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:29,760
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's awesome.

935
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 1: I love this.

936
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 5: I always joke I got the last good man in

937
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 5: New York City.

938
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 6: There are no more as a sense of a woman.

939
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:36,800
Speaker 6: I think you did.

940
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 4: Now.

941
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,800
Speaker 2: But I honestly like, I'm just so happy for you.

942
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 2: I had a chance to read the book so much

943
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 2: great information. I'm always at forever student, and so.

944
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 5: Even if somebody I love that about you.

945
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 2: Much younger than me is teaching me things. I welcome

946
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:52,839
Speaker 2: that and am excited about it. Like I said, I file,

947
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 2: I've been filing when you on social media. We actually

948
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 2: did some work together in the past too that it

949
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 2: was exciting, and so I'm just happy that I had

950
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 2: a chance to this book well and Out. I feel

951
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:04,720
Speaker 2: like we should do like a party at a buffet

952
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:05,200
Speaker 2: or something.

953
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, yeah, except it's only seafood.

954
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:10,960
Speaker 1: Let's do a party.

955
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 2: Everybody comes to the buffet, all you can eat and

956
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 2: it'll go crazy. But congratulations, I already know this is

957
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:17,800
Speaker 2: going to be another bestseller.

958
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 4: Thank you and thank you to everybody listening. Please grab

959
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 4: a copy of Well and Dowt. You can get one

960
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,040
Speaker 4: at richbff book dot com.

961
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 3: I wish you were all in here. Vivian is so

962
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,719
Speaker 3: beautiful and authentic. It's been great to spend time.

963
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:31,279
Speaker 1: Thank you for coming out of her.

964
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,279
Speaker 3: But thank you for I didn't say all that because

965
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's I don't know if that's

966
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 3: something you want.

967
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 6: You know what.

968
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 5: I love that it's warm and fuzzy. I'm glad we

969
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 5: got to do this. I had a lot of fun.

970
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 1: Okay, good to have you.

971
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:44,760
Speaker 6: Welcome Wednesdays everybody,