WEBVTT - Hobbies, Red Flags & Why Amy May No Longer Be Datable (5th Thing) 0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:06.640 Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and 0:00:06.680 --> 0:00:09.920 I'm Kat, And today's quote comes from one of our listeners, Melissa, 0:00:09.960 --> 0:00:13.080 who emailed it to us. She said, Hey, Amy, I 0:00:13.160 --> 0:00:16.240 just saw this quote and thought about your recent episode 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:18.960 with Cat. I think it's because we were talking about hobbies. 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:21.640 Like Kat has all kinds of hobbies. Right now, she's 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:25.759 doing everybody's nails, like everybody in Nashville. You need your 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:28.600 nails done, go over to Cat's kitchen. It will take 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:31.440 me three hours, but it's looking good. 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:32.120 Yeah. 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:36.320 She does painting classes also in her kitchen, and soon 0:00:36.400 --> 0:00:38.680 to be pottery classes. She'll tell us more about that 0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:40.599 in a minute, because she just ordered a pottery kit. 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:44.320 But Melissa sent us this quote. Every time I think 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:47.040 I have a new hobby, it turns out i'd just 0:00:47.120 --> 0:00:51.400 like to buy stuff. And I was like, oh yeah, 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:54.160 And I was just unboxing things before Kat got to 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:58.360 my house and my face cupping tool came in the mail. 0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:00.720 I am still doing. Face fitness is not a hobby, 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:05.760 it's a lifestyle. And my cupping tool is like, you know, 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:08.560 apparently I haven't even used it yet. I just pulled 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:10.360 it out of the box and it's going to like 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:12.279 suction to my face and. 0:01:13.080 --> 0:01:15.080 How does are you supposed to stick it on your 0:01:15.120 --> 0:01:16.520 face and leave it there? No? 0:01:16.640 --> 0:01:18.639 You do like, like, have you ever had a cupping 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:21.559 done on your body or seen it done? I'm an Olympian. Yeah, 0:01:22.240 --> 0:01:26.200 I've never personally needed it for whatever reason. I'm not 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:29.360 an Olympian, but I've had cupping done before, and it's 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:32.399 like glides across the face and like suctions like and 0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:34.280 then and you do it to your forehead. But I 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:37.160 know there's rules, like this is a bigger cup and 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:38.959 I'm only supposed to use it on certain parts of 0:01:39.000 --> 0:01:41.760 my face and there's a smaller cup that you use elsewhere. 0:01:42.120 --> 0:01:44.479 I don't know, but this is my algorithm now because 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:48.040 it's what I talk about and everything that pops up 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:52.440 in my for you page or whatever. Is face fitness interesting. 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:57.600 We have very different algorithms, but it's interesting because face 0:01:57.640 --> 0:02:02.880 fitness is something that you really could do with yourself 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:06.520 and no real products. But now you're probably getting targeted 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:09.639 for all of these fun, fun tools you can get 0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:12.600 to make your experience even better. And that's where the 0:02:13.200 --> 0:02:14.839 shopping addiction hobby comes in. 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:18.120 I know I could see myself ordering more tools, but 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:20.600 that actually looks kind of cool. Yeah, And I'm not 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:22.400 spending money on botox, so. 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:25.120 You're saving money because that's cheaper than botox. 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:27.639 That is my hobby. There you go, saving money. That's 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:30.880 my hot heck, it's a heck. Maggie. My cat is 0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:32.959 in here with us, and cat was just looking over 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:36.680 at her therapy cat. He was looking at my cat, Maggie, 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:39.360 and she was like, oh my gosh, she looks like 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:42.640 a human. And I said, oh my gosh, I have 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:46.120 to tell you what I told my boyfriend today this morning. 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:48.200 Early this morning, he had to leave for like a 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:50.840 work trip, so he was up early, and I guess 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:53.560 his colleague they were traveling together and they were going 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:56.200 to be in the car for a long time, and 0:02:57.000 --> 0:02:59.000 I don't know. For whatever reason, I was like, well, 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:02.519 if I come up, it's like, you should just tell 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:07.840 him that I'm I too, because we're going to talk 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:12.359 about red flags this relationship. Even thinking back on it now, 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:14.960 the fact that he had to listen to me say 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:19.680 this and then process it like it might be a 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:23.079 red flag, Like I don't know if later today when 0:03:23.080 --> 0:03:26.800 he gets back, if I'm gonna have a boyfriend, I said, 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:29.040 what are y all going to talk about? Like, y'all 0:03:29.080 --> 0:03:30.960 need to talk about interesting things, like if I come 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:33.600 up like you should you could tell him about me, 0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:35.800 but you should tell him that I was raised by cats. 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:41.240 And see what he says, and I'm like, and don't budge. 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:43.440 Just go with it, be like, yeah, she was raised 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:48.320 by cats, and these say like people named cat or 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:52.760 actual cats. You should just with a straight face as possible, 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:55.440 just be like, no cats, she was raised by cats. 0:03:55.720 --> 0:03:56.000 Okay. 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:58.280 I'm Another potential red flag question also has to do 0:03:58.320 --> 0:03:58.800 with my cat. 0:03:59.200 --> 0:03:59.800 Did you do this? 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:02.440 Maybe I'm just having in my head only to myself. 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:04.240 Though, Oh you kept this one in you had enough 0:04:04.280 --> 0:04:06.240 self awaren just to say it. I did this? 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:10.360 Okay. So I ordered some new cat food and it 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:12.960 came in, and I was I put the cat food 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:17.040 in this clear tupperware thing, because when you open it up, 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:20.479 Maggie doesn't like it. If it's been if like air 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:22.240 has touched it for too long, like I guess, it 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:25.039 gets stale. For so I realized if I put it 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:28.720 in an airtight container like su'l, she doesn't get turned. 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:28.800 Off by it. 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:30.640 And cats are very picky. I'm pretty sure if they 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:32.640 don't want what you're serving them, and they don't have 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:35.760 access to more food, they'll just not eat wither away. 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:38.880 But the cat food came in and there's this really 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:43.160 beautiful cat on the packaging, and I feel like when 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.200 I was opening it up to put it in the container, 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:48.159 Maggie made this weird face and I was like, well, 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:51.240 that was weird. And I was like, Maggie, She's like 0:04:51.800 --> 0:04:55.240 looked at me, like what, And I said, oh, I 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:58.760 know what it is, Maggie, And then I started this 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:02.039 whole story. I was like, you're mad because your sister's 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:06.280 a model now and she's living in New York modeling 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:10.039 for cat food, and you are sad that you're stuck here. 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:14.400 Wait so this was just in your head. Well, I mean, 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:16.719 I'm saying it to her, but nobody was around. 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:17.360 Nobody was around. 0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:21.839 Okay, you're just having conversations in your head, your cat. 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:26.000 But it was this whole thing about how her sister 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:30.520 is the cat model for this cat food and she's mad. 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:31.640 Because she's living here. 0:05:31.720 --> 0:05:34.039 She's living here and her sister's living her best life 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:37.440 modeling for this cat food company in New York City, 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:42.760 and Maggie can't even go outside, like she's she. 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:47.160 Can't even go outside. So what a sad life you live? 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:50.400 I know, But is that weird. 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:50.440 Before you had a cat. 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:54.120 I just feel like I've been doing weird things lately. 0:05:54.160 --> 0:06:00.240 Like here's another one. My son he woke up and 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:02.680 walked into the hall like we were waking up it 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:04.479 was morning time. And then I looked at him and 0:06:04.480 --> 0:06:07.760 I was like, like, a what year is it? And 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:11.279 he was like twenty twenty five and I was like, 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:14.360 oh okay. I was like I don't know. I'm just 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:18.760 seeing like electricity and there's all these machines and I 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:22.680 have this machine in front of me that's like uh beeping, 0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:27.880 and it's got time on it, all this stuff, and 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:29.679 he's looking at me and he's like what is wrong? 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:31.360 And then we go down into the kitchen and I'm 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:35.400 like what is this machine? And it's a dishwasher and 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:38.320 he's like what is happening? And I'm like Steven said, 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:41.240 I swear like we're over by the laundry stuff now too, 0:06:41.320 --> 0:06:43.880 and I'm like what is this? And I'm like I 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:45.280 swear when I went to bed, like we used to 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:48.120 have to hang dry our clothes and then with the toilet. 0:06:48.160 --> 0:06:49.440 I was like, I used to have to just go 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:52.560 out into the yard and do what was he saying? 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:56.080 He just was like, Mom, you're crazy, You're crazy. 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:58.279 And I was like, I went to bed and it 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:00.680 was eighteen hundred something and now you're telling me it's 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:01.479 twenty twenty five. 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:03.560 And I mean, I kept it up for but he 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:04.480 didn't believe you did. 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:05.919 A little bit. I mean, he just kept looking at me. 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:09.160 But he thought once I was he realized I was 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:11.640 just totally joking with him. Like he died laughing, and 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:13.880 I'm like, you know, I think there's just something to 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:18.640 just play, like even with our kids. He's fourteen, but 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:21.080 he was able to giggle with me and then he 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:24.840 started being like okay, mom. And I hope that that 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:27.560 encourages him to play more. I mean, obviously, when I 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:30.280 start talking to Maggie about her model cat's sister, she 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:32.520 can't play back with me because she's a cat, or 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:33.200 I laugh. 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:34.200 With you because she's a cat. 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:37.440 I do think that maybe there's something inside of me 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:41.080 that just wants to play. 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:41.600 I don't know. 0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:45.040 I had a brain appointment last week. Did it unlock something? 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:47.240 But also, do you think you're just in a lighter 0:07:47.720 --> 0:07:52.800 mood lately, maybe because of some of just your life circumstances. 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:55.680 I do wonder though, Like I had my neurofeedback check 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:57.600 up appointment, and I wonder if it just sort of 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:03.000 unlocked something that's like be playful. Yeah, have conversations with 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:05.840 yourself more so than you do, like on the next level, 0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:09.080 because I've always sort of talked to myself, but now. 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:12.600 I'm just talking to other people as I'm talking to myself. Right. 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:15.880 So, anyway, are these red flags. 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:19.600 Depending on the person, they could be, but maybe they're 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:21.960 green flags for who you're dating. 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:26.240 Yeah, because he likes says things like you're funny. Yeah, 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:28.800 And I'm not saying that any of this stuff is 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.640 like hilarious funny ha ha, but more just like you're funny, 0:08:31.680 --> 0:08:34.960 like you're ridiculous, like you're you don't take life too seriously, 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:38.280 not like you're crazy. Like this feels in alignment with me. 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:40.280 But I don't think I could have done this stuff 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:41.040 like first date. 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:44.800 No, I think if you did that, if you told 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:46.720 him that you were raised, well, actually that could have 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:49.240 been really funny if you did it to him on 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:50.720 a first date and he's like, so tell me about 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:52.240 you childhood and you're like, well, I was raised by 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:56.600 a cat, cats, cats, multiple cats. Yeah, I was raised right, 0:08:56.760 --> 0:08:59.599 It could have been funny depending on the person, or 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:01.520 could have and like, oh I went on those date 0:09:01.559 --> 0:09:02.920 with this girl where she told me she was raised 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:04.160 by cats. I didn't know what to say. 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:08.440 Well, I think that leads perfectly into the conversation of 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:11.320 not everything is a red flag, because it could end 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:13.240 up being good, Like it could be warning, but then 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:15.000 it could be good of like, maybe this is a 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:16.920 sign you need to loosen up, Like why are you 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:20.679 taking life so seriously? What's wrong with me getting up 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:22.640 and acting? Like when I went to sleep it was 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:25.040 eighteen ninety eight. I always wanted to live in the 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:25.840 Gilded Age. 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:29.240 Wait was it you that I was just looking up 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:30.359 with the Gilded Age. 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:32.160 Was Yeah, we talked about it on a recent episode 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:34.880 because I love that show, The Guilded Age. Oh yes, yes, yes, 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:37.839 But I said, I for sure needed to be part 0:09:37.880 --> 0:09:41.880 of high society, but like the nice ones, because there's 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:44.240 really snobby, mean ones. But I just want to I 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:48.000 want the amenities because life back then was a little hard. 0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:52.000 Yeah, yeah, I think depending on when it comes to 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:55.640 red flags, green flags, yellow flags. There there are some 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:57.760 things like okay that you need to pay attention to, 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:00.280 but most of the things that people call red flag 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:03.760 are just dependent on who the person is. Wouldn't you agree, 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:05.480 like it would be a red flag for you, but 0:10:05.559 --> 0:10:07.680 not a red flag for me some things. 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:10.280 Yeah, I just think that it's another one of those 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:13.079 buzz things we see on social lot, speaking of algorithm, 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:14.400 Like a lot of times you can just be fed 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:15.960 a bunch of red flag stuff and then it makes 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.080 you start to think that certain things are red flags 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:21.520 when it can turn you away from a relationship with someone, 0:10:21.640 --> 0:10:22.640 and then you're missing out. 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:26.120 Yes, And I think when that thought of it turning 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:28.360 you away, when you're thinking about that, then you are 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:31.480 clocking all of the weird things that you don't like, 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:33.959 versus paying attention to all the things that you do. Like. 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:37.600 Let be more about what we're for, not what we're against. 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:40.840 Yeah, sure, I love that, But I also do like 0:10:40.880 --> 0:10:42.199 talking about people's red flags. 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:47.480 But okay, I agree sometimes that can be entertaining. I 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:52.080 just think the main conversation is not everything not everything 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:52.760 else flag. 0:10:52.880 --> 0:10:58.959 Yes, for example, I dated somebody who refused to wear 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:00.440 theater when they. 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:02.319 Worked out only when they worked out. 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:04.080 Only when they worked out, they would put it on, 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:07.480 they put on after, They would put it on after. 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:10.000 But they re used to wear deodar when they worked 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:14.600 out because it swore that sweat doesn't smell. It only 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:17.679 smells after it's dry. So it would be a waste 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:23.439 of deodorant to wear it while you're working out, because 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:25.480 it wouldn't You're not going to stop you from sweating, 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:29.640 mostly because you're gonna sweat anyway, and it's not gonna 0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:33.200 smell until later. So I guess they thought they were like, 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:35.719 you know, pulling one over on the deodorant industry and 0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:39.400 saving a bunch of money. I thought it was very strange, 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:43.800 and we continued to argue about that forever. But that 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:47.480 was not a reason to end that relationship. It was 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:49.600 it was weird, not about flat. 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:53.640 Had he done the cost analysis of a bar? Yeah, 0:11:53.720 --> 0:12:02.240 like like, because I'm trying to even it's like any well. 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:04.600 I even was like I'll pay for the deodorant if 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.120 you just want to wear it, And it was like 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:08.599 one of those things you're just like, no, this is 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:10.880 a hill I'm gonna die on. I'm not wearing Theodora 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:14.720 when I work out. I never understood why they were 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:18.360 so stuck on that where they wouldn't budg rum. I'm like, 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:21.120 if it just makes me happy, just put the on. 0:12:21.720 --> 0:12:22.480 But he didn't smell. 0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:26.400 Yeah, I have to admit his sweat. He didn't smell 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:28.840 when he worked out. So it was hard for me 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:31.880 to really have a point because he was right. But 0:12:32.040 --> 0:12:35.360 I looked it up. Sweat doesn't smell until it is 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:38.200 either mixed with the air or dry. I don't know, 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:40.439 but like actual sweat doesn't have a smell. 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:43.040 Like Maggie's ude when it mixes with air. 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:46.720 I swear my if I don't wear deodorant when I 0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:48.880 work out, I swear I can't, Like I don't want 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:50.400 to be around myself. So it was very weird that 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:52.800 I was like, well, maybe I don't know. He has 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:56.360 something this works for him anyway. 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:58.120 One of my old hobbies used to be that I 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:01.080 would make my own deodorant. I gave up on that 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:03.800 hobby because I started to just buy the deodorant that 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:07.680 was the exact same ingredients because I do a natural 0:13:07.920 --> 0:13:11.840 one and I love the one I'm getting. I've gotten 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:14.280 it for years. I can't think of the name. 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:16.480 Right, I probably pure kind for a while. 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:17.360 I've never tried that. 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:19.560 Well. I didn't like it because it turned all my 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:22.280 It's like their charcoal didean. But it turned my like 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:25.200 bras because it was like all natural, so it started 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:26.800 getting like white on my clothes. 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:28.400 Oh, I just thought of my when I bought the 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.640 aluminum kind while you were saying that, No milk, no, 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:34.360 don't do that, No, go back. My milk and honey 0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:36.200 is the brand of mine, and I do the vanilla one. 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:39.200 But yeah, I used to get my own, all my 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:42.119 own little ingredients, and I would whip up my own deodorant. 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:44.439 Was it like a stick or like, did you just no? 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:46.080 I just keep it in a jar and just put 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:47.520 it in my fingers and then put it on. 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:52.120 Okay, he really wouldn't be wearing that. 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:56.760 It was awesome though, I mean literally the kind I'm buying. 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:58.320 The reason why I like to buy it better is 0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:01.560 whatever I was doing, it was just melt all the time, 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:03.240 like especially if it was hot out like in my 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:06.520 little jar. And maybe I had too much coconut oil. 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:09.840 But however they're whipping this up, it stays at least. 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.640 But that was just for smell, not for sweat, so 0:14:12.679 --> 0:14:15.480 it would make your armpits smell better, but you're not 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:17.679 going to stop yourself from sweating. I guess I think 0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:21.400 that's what the aluminum does. No, that's the antiperspriant, right, 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:24.040 So that's what stops you anti persperant. 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:25.280 But what's the aluminum. 0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:26.600 That's what they put in. 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:29.960 You can't get an anti persperant without aluminum. 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:33.120 That's just deodorant makes you not smell. But if it's 0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:36.000 an antiperspont deodorant, it stops you from sweating as much too. 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:38.800 Okay, I used to use that stuff way back in 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:40.560 the day, which who knows what kind of I U 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:42.520 stuff that was doing for me. No, no, no, not 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:45.920 that the the you'd buy it at the drug store 0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:47.480 and you'd roll it on and it would stop you 0:14:47.520 --> 0:14:48.040 from sweating. 0:14:48.120 --> 0:14:50.760 The clinical strength. Yes, well, I think a lot of 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:52.560 people use that kind of stuff when they're growing up 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:54.800 because through puberty, like your armpits sweat a lot. 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:56.800 Oh you know, fun fact about me. 0:14:58.000 --> 0:14:59.960 I'm not gonna brag about not having sweaty armpits. 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:05.520 Actually just gonna say I hate the word armpit. I 0:15:05.600 --> 0:15:06.440 like under arm. 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:08.160 Yeah it doesn't sound better. 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:11.480 Yes, Like just now when you said it. I was like, oh, cringe. 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:14.520 And I was watching a TV show the other day. 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:16.200 What show was it that I was watching? And they 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:18.880 said armpit? Maybe it was younger She said something about 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:20.680 her armpit, and I was like, Oh, don't say that. 0:15:21.920 --> 0:15:26.240 How dare you say that word? Underarm does sound much better? 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:29.240 Yeah, just something about armpit. 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:31.920 Yeah, it's not that. 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:35.360 So I don't know red flag. If you say armpit, 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:39.960 don't say with words. I don't like moist either, but 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:44.800 I think I that word doesn't dislike armpit more. Oh, 0:15:44.840 --> 0:15:46.440 I just said it. I don't like saying it. I'm 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:51.400 sorry responsive you said yeah, because then I'm like, oh, 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:53.640 why am I saying it? And then to anybody else 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:57.120 that has an aversion to that word. Maybe it's because 0:15:57.200 --> 0:15:59.040 the cats that raised me they don't have. 0:16:00.720 --> 0:16:01.160 Armpits. 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:04.000 They have under armed they have under legs, or they 0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:06.760 have two under arms and then under legs. 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:08.800 Would you call that an arm I think that she 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:09.880 has four legs? 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:15.960 What? No, I guess that is how It depends on 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:18.520 how we look at it. But I see how dogs 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:25.440 have arms and legs. Wait, am I, I'm sure you're right. 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:27.200 I'm sure you're right. I just have always looked. 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:29.320 At them as like hats and dogs don't have arms. 0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:32.040 No, they well they have their arms and their legs. 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:32.920 They have hind legs. 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:34.840 Then how do you say, Okay, you would say the 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:38.640 front leg Sure, yeah, okay, that's fine if you want 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:40.400 to talk about pets that way. But I like to 0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:42.920 say that they have arms. This is this whole episode's 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:44.440 of red flag, like don't date me. 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:48.160 Well you're the one raised by cat, so I guess 0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:51.480 you know what they want their front legs to be called. 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:06.600 So when we stop looking at everything as a red flag, 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:09.600 and this could be in any human we're talking about dating, 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:11.639 but it could be in any relationship, could be in 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:16.800 a friendship or a work relationship. If you pause and 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:18.960 not look at everything as like this red flag and 0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:22.240 maybe see it as beige, or maybe it eventually becomes 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:25.960 endearing right and you like it about them. This makes 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:28.760 room for personal growth. It could be something that this 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:33.159 person literally outgrows what you maybe need to grow, at 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:36.280 least room for growth for all, because it could be 0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:38.160 something like this is like a season of their life, 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.720 depending on how they're behaving. Like, for whatever reason, the 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:43.760 last week, I've just been more silly don't judge me 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:48.160 for my little games this last week that are playful. 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:51.160 I don't know. I have never had any of these 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:53.040 conversations before in my life. 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:55.000 Sure, No, I never. 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:59.080 I've never made up a story about you know, the 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:02.320 cat on the cat food bag. I've not ever pretended 0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:06.240 like I was born in another century. And I have 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:09.879 never asked a man to tell his coworker that I 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:10.640 was raised by. 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:13.600 We're gonna get all these emails, being like I went 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:15.040 on a date with Amy and she told me she 0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:16.400 was raised by No, no, no, no no. 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:19.680 I've never done this. Okay, ever, and to be fair, 0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:21.480 I wasn't gonna be the one delivering the news. It 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:23.119 was gonna be him delivering it. 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:27.080 True, true, true. Well, also I think with red flags 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:30.240 things like I'm just throwing things out there, but if 0:18:30.359 --> 0:18:32.920 if you start dating somebody and maybe they aren't making 0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:35.160 a lot of money, or they're in between a job 0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:38.040 or they I don't know, just little things like that 0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:41.320 where people would would say, oh, red flag, like he 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:43.560 just lost his job or he just quit a job 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:46.359 or whatever. Some of that also is like is he 0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:49.840 building something that did he quit a job that was toxic? 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:52.159 Like we can't take everything I mean, or is he 0:18:52.280 --> 0:18:54.520 just not gonnot want to have a job. There's different 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:57.879 degrees of that versus just looking at things as they 0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:00.080 are plainly you have to kind of zoom out and 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:03.520 see what the bigger picture is, Like you're talking about 0:19:03.520 --> 0:19:06.480 with talking to your cats and pretending you're a different world. 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:09.680 Is she hallucinating or is she going through this phase 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:11.760 of life or she's more silly and isn't taking life 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:15.200 so seriously. You know, I think we kind of narrow 0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:17.760 those things down to be things and they mean things 0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:18.639