Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, it's Eric from the One You Feed, which
Speaker 1: you probably expected. I announced on Tuesday that we are
Speaker 1: opening enrollment for the one you Feed coaching program again
Speaker 1: until May, so we'll have an open window till then.
Speaker 1: If you're interested in signing up or learning more, go
Speaker 1: to one you feed dot net slash coaching program and
Speaker 1: you can get signed up. And if you sign up there,
Speaker 1: you'll get a download for the top five mistakes that
Speaker 1: people make when they're trying to change behavior. And by
Speaker 1: the way, when I say sign up, I don't mean
Speaker 1: you have to sign up for the coaching program. I
Speaker 1: mean you sign up to get more information, So no
Speaker 1: obligation there. I didn't that didn't really say that right,
Speaker 1: But hopefully that's clear. And this episode is going to
Speaker 1: be about the first one of those on the list,
Speaker 1: which is starting too big so most of us. Let
Speaker 1: me give you an example from my meditation uh life.
Speaker 1: So I would meditate for a little bit, quit and
Speaker 1: then I pick up another book about meditation or Buddhism.
Speaker 1: I would read about it. I get all excited about
Speaker 1: the benefits that were there, and they would recommend meditating
Speaker 1: thirty minutes a day. So with my new found enthusiasm.
Speaker 1: I would sit down and meditate for thirty minutes, which
Speaker 1: is very It was very, very hard for me to
Speaker 1: sit still for that long with my brain doing everything
Speaker 1: is doing. It just was very uncomfortable. So I but
Speaker 1: I'd got through it for a day or two days
Speaker 1: or three days, but the whole time it was feeling
Speaker 1: like quite a strain, right, I didn't really have the
Speaker 1: ability to sit there that long. So this time around,
Speaker 1: which started a meditation habit that's been daily for about
Speaker 1: three years now, I started really small. I started with
Speaker 1: two minutes, and I did two minutes a day for
Speaker 1: about a week, and then I went to five minutes,
Speaker 1: and I you know, I don't remember the exact cadence
Speaker 1: in which I ramped up, but I did it that way,
Speaker 1: and that makes such a big difference. And all the
Speaker 1: coaching work I've done with people, and all the changes
Speaker 1: I've made over my life, and in all the studies
Speaker 1: and science I read about behavior change, this is such
Speaker 1: a big one. We start too big, and part of
Speaker 1: the problem. If you listen to or remember our episode
Speaker 1: with B. J. Fogg, who is a professor at Stanford
Speaker 1: who studies behavior change and his behavioral model says that
Speaker 1: behavior happens when motivation, ability, and trigger come together at
Speaker 1: the same moment. And so we can talk about why
Speaker 1: small steps really apply with this, because to start off,
Speaker 1: I was describing, you know, I really didn't have the
Speaker 1: ability to sit for thirty minutes a day, or at
Speaker 1: least not without enough discomfort that it became something I
Speaker 1: really liked. You could use the same analogy for running.
Speaker 1: You don't start running five miles out of the gate
Speaker 1: if you haven't been running, because if even if you
Speaker 1: do that five miles, it will be miserable and you'll
Speaker 1: have a very difficult time doing it. And so in
Speaker 1: order to do that, your motivation will have to stay
Speaker 1: sky high. But the motivation doesn't stay as high. So
Speaker 1: back to the meditation example. I read the book. I'm
Speaker 1: very motivated, right, so I start the meditation, but over
Speaker 1: the days I sort of forget what I read. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not maybe as clear on why I'm doing it.
Speaker 1: I'm tired. My motivation goes down. So if my motivation
Speaker 1: is down, then my ability has to be much higher.
Speaker 1: And so by starting very small and gradually increasing, your
Speaker 1: ability increases. And in most cases, when you're successful at
Speaker 1: what you're doing and it's not you know, and it's
Speaker 1: not miserable. Your motivation increases also, so you're able to
Speaker 1: You're able to take that behavior point that occurs and
Speaker 1: move it higher and higher because your motivation and your
Speaker 1: ability are growing together. The key is to get what
Speaker 1: you're trying to do to become a habit that you
Speaker 1: do every day. Even if that habit is five minutes,
Speaker 1: at least, you're now in the habit and that starts
Speaker 1: to become a part of your day. Leo bab Buddha
Speaker 1: of Zen Habits says, make it so easy you can't
Speaker 1: say no. And so what we want to do is
Speaker 1: start start way smaller than you think you need to
Speaker 1: and build on another earlier episode, actually one of our
Speaker 1: very first episodes, Dan Milman, author of Way the Piece
Speaker 1: of a Warrior, had a phrase that I love a lot,
Speaker 1: which is start small and connect the dots. And I'm
Speaker 1: amazed by what a series of small steps done consistently
Speaker 1: over a period of time will accomplish. So in the beginning,
Speaker 1: it seems trivial to do it for five minutes, but
Speaker 1: that five minutes builds the muscle to allow you to
Speaker 1: do it for ten minutes to fifty minutes, and you
Speaker 1: can apply this to any habit you want to build,
Speaker 1: exercise or meditation, or if you're trying to write more
Speaker 1: each day or spend more time focusing on creating music,
Speaker 1: or whatever the thing is that you want to do
Speaker 1: more of, Starting small and building is the way to
Speaker 1: do it. So hopefully that's help full. If you want
Speaker 1: to know the other four biggest mistakes people make when
Speaker 1: they're trying to change your behavior, go to one you
Speaker 1: feed dot net slash coaching program and sign up and
Speaker 1: you will get that download and you will get more
Speaker 1: information on the coaching program and that is available. We
Speaker 1: will take that down on May, so um, i'd love
Speaker 1: to have you check out the program see if it's
Speaker 1: something that makes sense for you. At the very least,
Speaker 1: i'd love for you to have this list of behavior
Speaker 1: change mistakes so you can avoid them. As always, I'm
Speaker 1: really glad and honored that you are here and listening,
Speaker 1: and we'll see you on Tuesday with another episode. Thanks. Bye,