WEBVTT - Fatherhood Brotherhood

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<v Speaker 1>What's up, family, I'm your girl to meet A. D.

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<v Speaker 1>Mallory should boy, my son the general, and we are

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<v Speaker 1>your hosts of street politicians. That the place where the

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<v Speaker 1>streets and politics meet meet, streets and politics meet. Father's

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<v Speaker 1>Day just happened, just passed. You know, black folks out

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<v Speaker 1>here fighting, struggling, and we're making sure that we're standing

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<v Speaker 1>up for our communities, for our people. So it's a

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<v Speaker 1>good time to be black and to be a freedom fighter. Right.

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<v Speaker 1>Justice for Pam Turner, Justice for pam Ala Turners. This

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<v Speaker 1>woman was killed by police in Houston, Texas. She was

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<v Speaker 1>She suffered from some mental health challenges. Officer lived in

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<v Speaker 1>her community, knew her. I think there are reports that

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<v Speaker 1>he had encountered her in the past. She was out

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<v Speaker 1>doing what she does, you know, often, walking the community.

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<v Speaker 1>Everybody knows Pam Turner was one of those women that

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<v Speaker 1>you might see out there taking the garbage out. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes she might actually be rumbling a little bit. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>she had some challenges. Officer approaches her, she they get

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<v Speaker 1>into a little conversation back and forth. He tells her

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<v Speaker 1>over and over, you know, not he tells her, she

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<v Speaker 1>tells him over and over again. I don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>be harmed. You know, I'm pregnant, which I think later

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<v Speaker 1>on they found out she wasn't, but she was trying

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<v Speaker 1>to appeal to his morality, you know, trying to tell

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<v Speaker 1>him I'm pregnant. She didn't want to be harmed. He

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<v Speaker 1>tasted her, and while she was down on the ground,

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<v Speaker 1>he got on he stood on top of her and

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<v Speaker 1>shot at the death um. And so Pam Turner died

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<v Speaker 1>because a hateful man decided to take her life for

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<v Speaker 1>no reason at all. And we are fighting for a

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<v Speaker 1>justice for Pam Turner. Shout out to Ben Crump, family attorney,

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<v Speaker 1>also miss Miss Turner's daughter and family members, her sister.

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<v Speaker 1>They're out here, they're struggling on her behalf. And just

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<v Speaker 1>weeks ago we went to Houston along with the Just

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<v Speaker 1>All Our movement folks to be with traded truth uh

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<v Speaker 1>and stand with the family of Pam Turner. Definitely did man,

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<v Speaker 1>So justice for Pam Turners. Turn What made you get

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<v Speaker 1>up today and put your Pam Turning? I was. I

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<v Speaker 1>was going through my closet right, you know, trying to

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<v Speaker 1>because I always want This is our podcast and we

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<v Speaker 1>should be branding things that we represent that we own,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, God's work had on, you know, shameless plug.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I looked and I've seen this T shirt.

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<v Speaker 1>I hadn't one. It was still in plastic, and I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, you know what, today's the day. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I just we just celebrated Father's Day. And and that's

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<v Speaker 1>always a good thing, you know, even though we don't

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<v Speaker 1>really get much. But you know we we ain't gonna

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<v Speaker 1>talk about that. We're talking about that later. But anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>I found my Pam Turner shirt and I just wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to say justice for PM Turners. So we got justice

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<v Speaker 1>for Pam Turners for sure. So there's a lot that's happening. Um.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, I feel like, you know, now we're

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<v Speaker 1>we've entered this sort of freedom riding hot summer where

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<v Speaker 1>we're now beginning to pick up the steam of protests

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<v Speaker 1>around the nation. Tomorrow we'll be in Washington, d c. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, until Freedom and other partners will be there

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<v Speaker 1>dealing with this filibuster issue, ending the filibusters so that

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<v Speaker 1>we can actually move some legislation through the federal government. UM.

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<v Speaker 1>So it basically is it's it's basically a delay. It

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<v Speaker 1>gives power to particularly the Republicans to delay the process.

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<v Speaker 1>And have you ever seen them on the floor where

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<v Speaker 1>they're like talking for hours and hours and hours and hours.

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<v Speaker 1>The most simple way of explaining the filipbuster is to say,

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<v Speaker 1>it's a delay. That's that's the that's the shortest way

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<v Speaker 1>to describe it. It's a delay. And if you ever

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<v Speaker 1>watch where there when you see uh legislators speaking for

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<v Speaker 1>a long period of time and they're just like standing

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<v Speaker 1>on the floor, they're basically trying to obstruct progress. And UM,

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<v Speaker 1>I forget exactly how it works between the Democrats and

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<v Speaker 1>the Republicans, but I do know that the Republicans use

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<v Speaker 1>the filipbuster to be able to slow down and delay

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<v Speaker 1>progress as often as possible. It really sort of throws

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<v Speaker 1>the government into this this stalemate process, and um, it

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<v Speaker 1>needs to be removed. It's there's no reason for it.

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<v Speaker 1>There should be votes, We should have people voting on issues,

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<v Speaker 1>voting to pass laws and moving forward. There should not

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<v Speaker 1>be any process in place that can slow down progress

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<v Speaker 1>or gives you the ability to obstruct justice, because that's

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<v Speaker 1>what the feel of us to currently does. Then most

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<v Speaker 1>Democrats are for getting rid of it, but you of

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<v Speaker 1>course have folks like Joe Manchin and Senators Uh Cinema

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<v Speaker 1>who are saying that, well, you know, they're not a

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<v Speaker 1>hundred percent in agreement with ending it unless the GOP,

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<v Speaker 1>which is the Republicans, agree as well. So they want

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<v Speaker 1>everybody to be on the same page, and we're just

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<v Speaker 1>not in that. We're not in that space. And I think,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think that's what it is to me, right,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I think most people are losing faith and

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<v Speaker 1>what what government even is not even just individuals, just

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<v Speaker 1>the whole state of what government is. Right when you

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<v Speaker 1>when you can have something like this that can purposely

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<v Speaker 1>just delayed progress, right, when you have people who who

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<v Speaker 1>have been in Korea, politicians and they know that this

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<v Speaker 1>process has never been everybody on the same page, it's

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<v Speaker 1>never been coomed by young right, And then you hear

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<v Speaker 1>and these are the same people that are supposed to

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<v Speaker 1>be with the party that you supposed to be progressive.

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<v Speaker 1>And now when we have an opportunity to do something

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<v Speaker 1>that's progressed to you need the people who have been

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<v Speaker 1>stopping progress to agree. It makes no sense. So I

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<v Speaker 1>think people are starting to see that, right, And that's

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<v Speaker 1>why I say we need something different. I think you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and then the Philipbuster. Philipbuster is definitely one of the

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<v Speaker 1>first things that's really important. It's very important to see

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<v Speaker 1>the other thing that they can do with the Philipbusters,

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<v Speaker 1>like they enter all types of motions, you know, again delays, uh,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, coming finding all kinds of problems with the legislation,

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<v Speaker 1>um serving this motion and that motion, just delaying and

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<v Speaker 1>exactly that it really it sits on someone's desk and

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<v Speaker 1>it never really moves because the philip Buster was was

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<v Speaker 1>designed to sort of like stop things or to dis

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<v Speaker 1>imagine being imprisoned and somebody and you're waiting to go

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<v Speaker 1>to trial and they and they're able to do that.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's not on that level, but I get

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<v Speaker 1>you just think about it, because it's not level is

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<v Speaker 1>a different thing, but it's pretty much the same because

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<v Speaker 1>people's life hanging the balance of these bills that they

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<v Speaker 1>won't pass. So while we wait, we're fighting to get

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<v Speaker 1>just basic civil rights bills passed that you block, and

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<v Speaker 1>people are dying. People are losing their life, they're losing

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<v Speaker 1>their finances, they're losing so many things. So it's yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>people are dying. The blood is still spelling, and so

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<v Speaker 1>I agree with you. You know, the Philipbuster needs to end.

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<v Speaker 1>And so tomorrow when we go to Washington, we will

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<v Speaker 1>be one addressing that, protesting to end the Philipbuster, to

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<v Speaker 1>push especially the Democrats to do something. And then also

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<v Speaker 1>there are other issues passing the George Floyd Justice and

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<v Speaker 1>Policing Act that for us is not negotiable and we

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to pass as it currently stands, rather than it

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<v Speaker 1>being a watered down bill. So you know we're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>be This summer is hot. It's time for us to

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<v Speaker 1>get back to the energy of last summer. People don't

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<v Speaker 1>people got their vaccinations. The world is opening back up,

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<v Speaker 1>and there should be no reason why we're not hitting

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<v Speaker 1>the streets. And you know, I was thinking, because that's

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<v Speaker 1>what I do. In my thought of the day, I

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<v Speaker 1>was thinking about this idea of June teach and realizing

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<v Speaker 1>that there are some folks who are really mad at

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<v Speaker 1>people like me. I don't know your position on on it.

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<v Speaker 1>We haven't really talked much who are not impressed by

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<v Speaker 1>the fact that there is a Juneteenth holiday, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I want to say, and I did alive on it

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<v Speaker 1>um the next day after it happened last week, after

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<v Speaker 1>the uh the holiday um was passed into federal law.

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<v Speaker 1>You will um you know where people I did a

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<v Speaker 1>live explaining why I said, I'm not impressed. And there

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<v Speaker 1>was some folks who were like, when you say you're

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<v Speaker 1>not impressed, it's disrespectful because there are people who fought

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<v Speaker 1>to make this happen, you know. And they named particularly

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<v Speaker 1>one woman, miss Opal, who is someone who let them move.

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<v Speaker 1>Meant to get um, the the June team to be recognized.

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<v Speaker 1>And obviously we understand the history of June teenth, this

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<v Speaker 1>when black folks became free. When when people in Galveston,

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<v Speaker 1>Texas who didn't know that they were free from when

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<v Speaker 1>we originally supposedly received emancipation on June nineteenth, that's when

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<v Speaker 1>they learned that they actually was still being held in

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<v Speaker 1>bondage with the word didn't get to them that they

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<v Speaker 1>were free. We know that, and we understand that June

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<v Speaker 1>tea is important. And to your point is we're not

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<v Speaker 1>freedom right? Well, I mean, but we can move about

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<v Speaker 1>the world, right, and so and and and and if

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<v Speaker 1>you compare today to what they were experiencing, oh, certainly

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<v Speaker 1>there's progress. Right, So we all we all respect that.

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<v Speaker 1>And I understand a thousand percent why people would lead

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<v Speaker 1>a movement to get that day recognized, because at the

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<v Speaker 1>end of the day, right the first step towards anything

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<v Speaker 1>is an acknowledgement of wrongdoing. So we all support that.

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<v Speaker 1>No one is saying that we don't appreciate the work

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<v Speaker 1>that was done by Miss Opal and others who have

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<v Speaker 1>fought hard. And I know for sure they didn't just

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<v Speaker 1>want a symbolic day. They wanted an acknowledgement so that

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<v Speaker 1>we would know who we are, where we come from.

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<v Speaker 1>Our children will understand the history of black folks in

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<v Speaker 1>this country. So we would not think that the fourth

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<v Speaker 1>of July was our Emancipation Day, because it is not right.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I understand that they they they were working

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<v Speaker 1>to get this holiday put in place, not because they

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<v Speaker 1>think this is the end of the conversation around the

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<v Speaker 1>enslavement and oppression of black folks, but so that we

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<v Speaker 1>have a new beginning, a new conversation. But some of

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<v Speaker 1>us said, and so when we say we're not impressed,

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<v Speaker 1>we're not talking to the advocates who worked to get

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<v Speaker 1>the holiday. We're talking to the people who passed it

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<v Speaker 1>who are disingenuous. Is because you won't pass the Voting

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<v Speaker 1>Rights Act. You won't secure voting rights in this country.

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<v Speaker 1>You won't pass an anti lynching bill. You won't pass

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<v Speaker 1>and hate I hate crime bill. John Kanye is died

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<v Speaker 1>trying to get a racial profile and bill in place.

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<v Speaker 1>You won't pass the George Floyd Justice and Police and Act.

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<v Speaker 1>Not only will they not pass it, they're trying to

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<v Speaker 1>block it to the point where they want to roll

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<v Speaker 1>us back to what I think is the sixties and

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<v Speaker 1>even beyond that, even before that. Okay, that's that's what

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<v Speaker 1>we're up against. And you and and so that. They said, well,

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<v Speaker 1>these folks have been fighting all their lives. Well, John

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<v Speaker 1>Kanye is for all his life. Guess what John lewis

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<v Speaker 1>for all his life for our voting rights to be secured.

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<v Speaker 1>And we're losing them every single day. Okay. Brianna Taylor

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<v Speaker 1>died while they were out here. Uh. You know which,

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<v Speaker 1>by the way, it's still happening with no knock warrants

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<v Speaker 1>and other forms of policing that is harmful and dangerous

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<v Speaker 1>and abusive for our communities. Uh. Eric Garner died being

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<v Speaker 1>choked to death. Uh. George Floyd died with officers me

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<v Speaker 1>and his neck. We got names of people who have

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<v Speaker 1>given their lives for this struggle. And so what I'm

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<v Speaker 1>saying is acknowledge the day, celebrate the day, have our

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<v Speaker 1>black joy as a resistance method and as a as

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<v Speaker 1>a revolutionary act, have all of that. But for me,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to be impressed with the holiday until

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<v Speaker 1>I have the accountability match with the holiday so that

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<v Speaker 1>I can look at it and say, they gave us

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<v Speaker 1>a holiday on whatever whatever the date is, June of

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand and twenty one, and this holiday signifies that

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<v Speaker 1>we've actually turned the page and then we've actually made

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<v Speaker 1>some form of progress. So no, I'm not impressed. And

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<v Speaker 1>in the in the words of my dear sister, our

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<v Speaker 1>sister Leah Daughtry, Bishop Leo Dartry, that's nice. That's nice,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, thank you to appreciate that. But we want

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<v Speaker 1>some real stuff done. We want some real things done

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<v Speaker 1>so that we can celebrate the holiday knowing that you

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<v Speaker 1>can't say we won't be killed, we won't be harmed,

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<v Speaker 1>we won't have to deal with racism. But what you

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<v Speaker 1>can say is that somebody's gonna have to pay for

0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:21.160
<v Speaker 1>it if they do it in our communities, because damn

0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:25.400
<v Speaker 1>it June nineteenth is a great day, a great holiday

0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:28.800
<v Speaker 1>that we can all celebrate together. And meanwhile, on the

0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:32.800
<v Speaker 1>way to your celebration or back, or if you Brianna Taylor,

0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:36.760
<v Speaker 1>you could be dead in your home on the same holiday,

0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:40.160
<v Speaker 1>and guess what, nobody's gonna give you a damned piece

0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:44.240
<v Speaker 1>of justice for it. So no, I'm not impressed. I'm

0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:49.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad that there are some folks who see this

0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:53.240
<v Speaker 1>as a milestone, and God bless them, and keep fighting

0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:56.480
<v Speaker 1>for us, Keep fighting for us, keep doing the work

0:13:56.720 --> 0:13:59.760
<v Speaker 1>to make sure that their flag is raised, that people

0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:03.040
<v Speaker 1>know we're at war and what our people have been through,

0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:06.200
<v Speaker 1>because we've been harmed, we've been abused, and we have

0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:10.359
<v Speaker 1>been in this country for over four hundred years experiencing

0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:15.160
<v Speaker 1>an oppression that nobody else has ever experienced on American soil.

0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:18.000
<v Speaker 1>So keep doing what you're doing, keep fighting for us.

0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:20.920
<v Speaker 1>When I say I'm not impressed, I'm not talking to you.

0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:24.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm impressed by the work, the struggle, and the sacrifice

0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:27.240
<v Speaker 1>of our elders and brothers and sisters who are out

0:14:27.280 --> 0:14:30.080
<v Speaker 1>there sounding the alarm on our behalf. But I am

0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:34.600
<v Speaker 1>not impressed by some, particularly white men, who are sitting

0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:38.400
<v Speaker 1>up in Washington, who have struck justice every single day,

0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:41.560
<v Speaker 1>deciding to sign a damn holiday in place and give

0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:44.080
<v Speaker 1>it to us and say, now, on this day, go

0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:46.840
<v Speaker 1>eat some stuff, dance. We're gonna give you some damn

0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:50.960
<v Speaker 1>uht off at this store. We're gonna give you a

0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:54.800
<v Speaker 1>few things to make you celebrate and drink away the

0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:57.720
<v Speaker 1>the the real truth of what we're doing, which is

0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:00.600
<v Speaker 1>to try to take you back to at the same

0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:03.760
<v Speaker 1>time when June nineteenth had to be granted to you

0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:06.200
<v Speaker 1>in the first place. That's how I feel about it.

0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:11.080
<v Speaker 1>So no, I'm not impressed, have mercy, and I can

0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:14.200
<v Speaker 1>still say happy holiday on June nineteen. I have the

0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:17.960
<v Speaker 1>right to feel both things. And we need grace for

0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:23.280
<v Speaker 1>people to be unimpressed and celebrate at the same time. No,

0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:26.880
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's the truth. Listen, you just you sound

0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:30.120
<v Speaker 1>like a Baptist preacher in here today. You just look,

0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:33.400
<v Speaker 1>she listened. We don't even need to talk about that

0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:36.200
<v Speaker 1>is what you call thought of the day. She from

0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:38.760
<v Speaker 1>the router to the tutor about this man. She feels

0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:41.600
<v Speaker 1>some way. And let's right, man, we need real We

0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:46.640
<v Speaker 1>don't need symbolism, we need activities, we need policy, Biden.

0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:51.360
<v Speaker 1>We need policy and everything that it encompasses. So listen,

0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:55.240
<v Speaker 1>June teeth is nice. Like she said, it's nice. It's nice.

0:15:55.280 --> 0:15:58.040
<v Speaker 1>It looks good, but make it feel good. You know,

0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:01.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm tired of looking good. Make me feel good. Get that.

0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:05.120
<v Speaker 1>What's her name? Holly Berry and Moss is going Now,

0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:10.400
<v Speaker 1>this is funny. Holle Berry was talking about something else

0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:14.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm talking about, Yeah, but not halle Berry. Come on, now,

0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:16.640
<v Speaker 1>let's get it together because people, you know how people get.

0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:18.720
<v Speaker 1>We did the comments to be the only chi like

0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:21.240
<v Speaker 1>Hollie Berry and Master's Boy. You know what's going on

0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:28.280
<v Speaker 1>in Marsters, No champion, make me feel good? Okay, she

0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:31.640
<v Speaker 1>was talking about something completely different than I'm talking. I'm

0:16:31.680 --> 0:16:36.760
<v Speaker 1>talking about policies and laws. She about somebody's draws. I'm

0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:41.160
<v Speaker 1>not talking about that what I'm saying, So no, h's

0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:43.600
<v Speaker 1>the truth. Before we go to the next segment and

0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:45.960
<v Speaker 1>have our special guests joint, we're gonna take a quick

0:16:46.000 --> 0:16:51.840
<v Speaker 1>break for our sponsors. That's so in keeping with this

0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:55.960
<v Speaker 1>idea that we're still celebrating fathers. We always celebrated black

0:16:56.040 --> 0:17:01.120
<v Speaker 1>fathers on street politicians trying because I'm a black father.

0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:04.200
<v Speaker 1>So we did celebrate you. So you know, we talked

0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:07.160
<v Speaker 1>about how great you are as a father, this is true.

0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:10.520
<v Speaker 1>And then also to the community, there's so many young

0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:13.720
<v Speaker 1>people who look up to you, So we're still celebrating fathers.

0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:17.640
<v Speaker 1>That and in keeping with that, we're being joined by

0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:20.760
<v Speaker 1>one of our friends, of our friends, that's a that's

0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:27.679
<v Speaker 1>a that's a brother. He's still because the fame is

0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:31.080
<v Speaker 1>that we've got so many friends across the country that

0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:35.560
<v Speaker 1>do such amazing, amazing work. And I appreciate you for

0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:40.879
<v Speaker 1>allowing me to introduce him today because Jeff Johnson is

0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:44.560
<v Speaker 1>someone that I consider to be a mentor, uh, someone

0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:47.960
<v Speaker 1>that I have been for many many years looking up

0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:53.000
<v Speaker 1>to and looking to for advice about strategy and how

0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:56.639
<v Speaker 1>to maneuver through this crazy movement that he knows all

0:17:56.720 --> 0:18:01.520
<v Speaker 1>too well. UM. I first learned earned of Jeff Johnson

0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:04.360
<v Speaker 1>when he was the director of the Youth and College

0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.760
<v Speaker 1>Division of the nub A c P, which is a

0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:10.840
<v Speaker 1>position that Jamal Bryant, Reverend Jamal Bryant, our friend, um

0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:14.560
<v Speaker 1>and brothers you said, also had. And then Stephen Green,

0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:19.360
<v Speaker 1>Reverend Stephen Green, who's one of our friend and he's

0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:22.879
<v Speaker 1>our until freedom. UM, I won't call him a baby

0:18:22.920 --> 0:18:25.720
<v Speaker 1>because he won't appreciate that. But he said, well he's

0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:29.439
<v Speaker 1>yesterday at an event he actually said that I was

0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:33.000
<v Speaker 1>his elder by far, So I will call him one

0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:36.560
<v Speaker 1>of the until Freedom babies today. And then Tiffany Lofton,

0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:41.800
<v Speaker 1>who is one of our colleagues dope organizer. The Double

0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:46.080
<v Speaker 1>A CP has produced some of the absolute baddest young

0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:50.359
<v Speaker 1>organizers in the country. Um, I think about Stephanie Brown,

0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:54.480
<v Speaker 1>James and now Brother Wisdom is running then a CP

0:18:54.640 --> 0:18:57.000
<v Speaker 1>youth in college the business. So Jeff comes out of

0:18:57.080 --> 0:19:03.440
<v Speaker 1>that tradition. Um, he's a commentator, radio personality and influencer. Uh,

0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:05.800
<v Speaker 1>he won't want me to say a celebrity, but he is.

0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:11.080
<v Speaker 1>And he is a brilliant organizer and now leading men

0:19:11.240 --> 0:19:17.320
<v Speaker 1>thrive and so and he's a dope father ape that

0:19:17.400 --> 0:19:21.120
<v Speaker 1>might be a T shirt. Yeah. If the Dad gang

0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:25.159
<v Speaker 1>already has they got a dope dade. Okay, all right,

0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:27.800
<v Speaker 1>you see, look you know all about the dead. But

0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:31.119
<v Speaker 1>thanks Jeff, thanks for coming on this show today. Of course,

0:19:31.200 --> 0:19:33.679
<v Speaker 1>thank you. I mean you all are you all are

0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:36.000
<v Speaker 1>friends and I don't I don't I like you all.

0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:39.240
<v Speaker 1>Don't throw that around like and um we've been in

0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:41.240
<v Speaker 1>this a long time, and there's just certain people who

0:19:41.280 --> 0:19:44.560
<v Speaker 1>you know that whenever you call or they call, they

0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:48.879
<v Speaker 1>always answered. UM. So I'm just I'm forever thankful and

0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:51.720
<v Speaker 1>grateful for who you all are in this work, uh,

0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:54.440
<v Speaker 1>and who you are in my life. So when when

0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:56.520
<v Speaker 1>you hit me and say come on, I don't even

0:19:56.520 --> 0:19:59.239
<v Speaker 1>think I checked my schedule. I'm just like, let's go

0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:03.520
<v Speaker 1>appreciate that. We definitely appreciate that. Man. Just just just

0:20:03.600 --> 0:20:07.240
<v Speaker 1>watching you over the years, man, and I watched how

0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:10.639
<v Speaker 1>fatherhood just changed you. You understand, I'm saying, like I

0:20:10.680 --> 0:20:14.280
<v Speaker 1>watched you just always be one of the greatest speakers

0:20:14.320 --> 0:20:17.520
<v Speaker 1>of all our time. Educated and always I'm looking on

0:20:17.600 --> 0:20:20.320
<v Speaker 1>your shows and just tune into your social media and

0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:23.480
<v Speaker 1>just get guide into certain things. But I remember, and

0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:25.439
<v Speaker 1>we actually probably and I don't know when it was,

0:20:25.480 --> 0:20:28.560
<v Speaker 1>but we had a conversation about how being a father

0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:32.000
<v Speaker 1>had had changed your perspective about life and it probably

0:20:32.080 --> 0:20:36.040
<v Speaker 1>saved a lot of different ideologies and things that you

0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:40.320
<v Speaker 1>thought you change becoming a father. What is that process?

0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:43.239
<v Speaker 1>You see? My son is that I was never in

0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:48.680
<v Speaker 1>the public space, not as a father. So so my

0:20:48.760 --> 0:20:53.520
<v Speaker 1>daughter was born, Madison was born, Uh, four months after

0:20:53.520 --> 0:20:56.320
<v Speaker 1>I started working at the a CP. So by the

0:20:56.359 --> 0:20:59.520
<v Speaker 1>time I was on Rap City, which is when most

0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:02.640
<v Speaker 1>people got to know me, I was already a thirty

0:21:02.680 --> 0:21:06.600
<v Speaker 1>year old dada too. So i've I've never really been

0:21:06.600 --> 0:21:08.800
<v Speaker 1>in the public space and not been a father. But

0:21:08.880 --> 0:21:13.400
<v Speaker 1>to your point, um, I think fatherhood if if if,

0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:16.800
<v Speaker 1>if you're doing it in a way that makes any

0:21:16.840 --> 0:21:23.720
<v Speaker 1>sense at all, reminds you how the difference between, um,

0:21:24.440 --> 0:21:27.600
<v Speaker 1>the difference between moving to create pleasure and moving to

0:21:27.640 --> 0:21:32.720
<v Speaker 1>create legacy m hm. And and so I never got

0:21:32.720 --> 0:21:34.919
<v Speaker 1>everything right. I don't get everything right now, but but

0:21:35.080 --> 0:21:39.520
<v Speaker 1>being a father helped me recognized with real clarity the

0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:45.240
<v Speaker 1>difference between legacy movement and pleasure movement. And there's something

0:21:45.560 --> 0:21:47.560
<v Speaker 1>I think too, to my son's point, because there are

0:21:47.560 --> 0:21:51.440
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people who don't know that we had

0:21:51.560 --> 0:21:54.199
<v Speaker 1>children so young, you know what I mean, And so

0:21:54.240 --> 0:21:58.080
<v Speaker 1>they see you with your newer children and it's like, oh, wow,

0:21:58.119 --> 0:22:00.800
<v Speaker 1>you know, now Jeff has kids. Will know actually, Jeff's

0:22:01.000 --> 0:22:04.360
<v Speaker 1>had kids probably for as you said, as long as

0:22:04.400 --> 0:22:07.879
<v Speaker 1>your you know, public career, um, you know, and as

0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:10.000
<v Speaker 1>long as people have known you. But there is something

0:22:10.040 --> 0:22:14.240
<v Speaker 1>about having children later in life, uh, that I I

0:22:14.280 --> 0:22:17.040
<v Speaker 1>do think it's sort of shifts your perspective from when

0:22:17.080 --> 0:22:18.720
<v Speaker 1>you have them and you're young and you don't really

0:22:18.720 --> 0:22:20.840
<v Speaker 1>know anything, and they don't know anything, and y'all don't

0:22:20.840 --> 0:22:23.840
<v Speaker 1>know anything together. When you have the smaller kids, you're

0:22:23.840 --> 0:22:28.000
<v Speaker 1>trying to approach it from a different perspective. Yeah, you

0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:30.960
<v Speaker 1>know what's funny, the perspectives already changed. So I mean

0:22:31.520 --> 0:22:33.560
<v Speaker 1>you're right. When I had Madison a twenty six, I

0:22:33.600 --> 0:22:37.240
<v Speaker 1>didn't know ship. Uh. I'm just like, can the rink

0:22:37.240 --> 0:22:44.360
<v Speaker 1>get paid? And can I not kill her? Kay? I'm winning? Um.

0:22:44.400 --> 0:22:47.919
<v Speaker 1>You know when when Baldwin Garvey was born, I was.

0:22:48.080 --> 0:22:51.040
<v Speaker 1>I was in my forties, and so you know, my

0:22:51.119 --> 0:22:54.480
<v Speaker 1>wisdom was different, my revenue was different, my thought process

0:22:54.560 --> 0:22:57.880
<v Speaker 1>was different. Um, the relationship that I was in with

0:22:57.920 --> 0:23:00.119
<v Speaker 1>my wife was different than the relationship I was with

0:23:00.200 --> 0:23:02.879
<v Speaker 1>my previous wife. And so there were all this this

0:23:03.040 --> 0:23:08.680
<v Speaker 1>maturation that it happened, and so too, I literally tell um, Madison,

0:23:08.720 --> 0:23:11.560
<v Speaker 1>Miles and Maltham like, don't hate your brothers, like they

0:23:11.600 --> 0:23:15.000
<v Speaker 1>just got a better me than youall. And and what

0:23:15.080 --> 0:23:18.600
<v Speaker 1>I learned being a father with you, the joys, the pain,

0:23:18.680 --> 0:23:22.480
<v Speaker 1>the mistakes, the triumphs at all have maybe a better

0:23:22.560 --> 0:23:24.560
<v Speaker 1>daddy for them, and so they get it. I think

0:23:24.600 --> 0:23:27.600
<v Speaker 1>on most days sometimes they'll be looking like, damn, dad,

0:23:27.640 --> 0:23:30.280
<v Speaker 1>you ain't never do that when we was killing But

0:23:30.280 --> 0:23:32.960
<v Speaker 1>but um, but it is a blessing. It's it's such

0:23:33.000 --> 0:23:35.800
<v Speaker 1>a blessing to be in this space and be a

0:23:35.880 --> 0:23:39.479
<v Speaker 1>father for the first time again. Um, because I just

0:23:39.520 --> 0:23:42.240
<v Speaker 1>know so much. I didn't know how old is your

0:23:42.280 --> 0:23:46.560
<v Speaker 1>youngest child? Two too? Wow, I remember that. It was

0:23:47.880 --> 0:23:50.600
<v Speaker 1>terrible too. I tell people all the time, at two

0:23:50.680 --> 0:23:53.600
<v Speaker 1>years old, they trying to kill yourself when your job

0:23:53.680 --> 0:23:56.480
<v Speaker 1>is to make sure that they don't know. You know,

0:23:56.520 --> 0:24:01.000
<v Speaker 1>it's crazy. They are trying to discover the world and

0:24:01.200 --> 0:24:06.320
<v Speaker 1>like with with no limitation myself, Like brother, I will

0:24:06.359 --> 0:24:10.240
<v Speaker 1>sit there and watch them move, and I'm like like, Lord,

0:24:10.320 --> 0:24:15.440
<v Speaker 1>please please help me not mess up this life us

0:24:16.000 --> 0:24:18.879
<v Speaker 1>because they're not supposed to stop. And my wife I

0:24:18.880 --> 0:24:20.800
<v Speaker 1>had to teach my wife. I'm like, this is age

0:24:20.800 --> 0:24:23.640
<v Speaker 1>appropriate defiance. Like if you got a two year old

0:24:23.880 --> 0:24:27.879
<v Speaker 1>who does everything, you say something wrong with him? Like

0:24:28.160 --> 0:24:30.280
<v Speaker 1>something is wrong with a two year old that does

0:24:30.320 --> 0:24:33.199
<v Speaker 1>everything because they're supposed to pretend like they don't hear you,

0:24:33.520 --> 0:24:36.479
<v Speaker 1>and they're supposed to break stuff and throw stuff and

0:24:36.520 --> 0:24:39.119
<v Speaker 1>figure stuff out and kick stuff. And they're supposed to

0:24:39.160 --> 0:24:43.840
<v Speaker 1>be overly emotional and whine and cry and get angry

0:24:44.480 --> 0:24:46.880
<v Speaker 1>and and of course we're supposed to parent them through that,

0:24:47.520 --> 0:24:51.240
<v Speaker 1>but that's naturally what a two year old energy is

0:24:51.240 --> 0:24:55.439
<v Speaker 1>supposed to be. And so I really they have taught

0:24:55.480 --> 0:24:57.879
<v Speaker 1>me something like I now have a mantra where like

0:24:57.960 --> 0:25:01.760
<v Speaker 1>every day I want to have childlike joy at least

0:25:01.760 --> 0:25:05.960
<v Speaker 1>once a day, because I watched them operate in a

0:25:06.080 --> 0:25:10.760
<v Speaker 1>level of joy that often confuses me because I'm so

0:25:10.880 --> 0:25:13.840
<v Speaker 1>busy trying to figure out how to fix stuff and

0:25:14.000 --> 0:25:18.280
<v Speaker 1>create stuff and make stuff that I often deny myself

0:25:18.320 --> 0:25:22.280
<v Speaker 1>that joy. And so I have learned so much from

0:25:22.400 --> 0:25:25.560
<v Speaker 1>their joy about joy that I gotta make sure exists

0:25:25.560 --> 0:25:28.720
<v Speaker 1>in my life when we think about the community, because

0:25:28.760 --> 0:25:32.040
<v Speaker 1>then it's like, now you're twelve years old, you grow up,

0:25:32.080 --> 0:25:34.800
<v Speaker 1>and I would like to see that young black boys

0:25:34.840 --> 0:25:38.040
<v Speaker 1>would still have that joy. But now you get to school,

0:25:38.160 --> 0:25:41.160
<v Speaker 1>you get to other places, and you're operating within systems

0:25:41.200 --> 0:25:44.959
<v Speaker 1>that are trying to stop you from realizing you know

0:25:45.040 --> 0:25:48.639
<v Speaker 1>your greatness and and and seeing the world. What would

0:25:48.680 --> 0:25:53.160
<v Speaker 1>you say is the approach that educators and administrators need

0:25:53.200 --> 0:25:58.320
<v Speaker 1>to be taking to to continue to allow that defiance

0:25:58.720 --> 0:26:02.000
<v Speaker 1>to blossom in to the greatness that our young people

0:26:02.040 --> 0:26:06.960
<v Speaker 1>can actually display. Yeah, I mean, listen to me. I

0:26:07.000 --> 0:26:09.119
<v Speaker 1>don't I don't even think it's just about defiance. It's like,

0:26:09.240 --> 0:26:11.520
<v Speaker 1>let them be who the hell they are. And that

0:26:11.560 --> 0:26:14.880
<v Speaker 1>doesn't mean that that doesn't mean that there aren't rules, right,

0:26:14.960 --> 0:26:18.360
<v Speaker 1>and to some degree we were, so we're so concentrated

0:26:18.400 --> 0:26:24.760
<v Speaker 1>on order and controlling people that we destroy what they

0:26:24.760 --> 0:26:27.840
<v Speaker 1>were put here to do. And so I think it's parents,

0:26:27.920 --> 0:26:30.480
<v Speaker 1>I think it's teachers. I think it's administrators. I think

0:26:30.760 --> 0:26:33.800
<v Speaker 1>I think we have to realize what spectrum is. And

0:26:33.840 --> 0:26:38.000
<v Speaker 1>so whether we're talking about autism or we're talking about dyslexia,

0:26:39.040 --> 0:26:43.600
<v Speaker 1>kids exist on spectrum. And so we're busy diagnosing and

0:26:43.720 --> 0:26:47.160
<v Speaker 1>labeling that we're not dealing with the nuance of our babies.

0:26:47.440 --> 0:26:50.880
<v Speaker 1>And so kids are gonna exist on a spectrum one

0:26:50.880 --> 0:26:54.000
<v Speaker 1>way or another. And as opposed to spending so much

0:26:54.000 --> 0:26:56.080
<v Speaker 1>time saying, well, now something's wrong with this kid because

0:26:56.080 --> 0:26:58.479
<v Speaker 1>they've been diagnosed for this, and now they can't do

0:26:58.560 --> 0:27:01.000
<v Speaker 1>a B, C and D or now this kid has

0:27:01.000 --> 0:27:04.280
<v Speaker 1>been diagnosed and that means she is this, and now

0:27:04.280 --> 0:27:06.920
<v Speaker 1>we're creating judgment around what she's gonna be able to

0:27:06.960 --> 0:27:11.359
<v Speaker 1>do with her life. Just recognizing my my, my oldest son, Myles,

0:27:11.440 --> 0:27:15.439
<v Speaker 1>has dyslexia. And I'll never forget when we got the diagnosis.

0:27:15.560 --> 0:27:19.680
<v Speaker 1>And maybe six months after that, we ran into Mr

0:27:19.720 --> 0:27:22.840
<v Speaker 1>bel Fonte and we're at a we were at an

0:27:22.840 --> 0:27:27.119
<v Speaker 1>event for kids with dyslexia because because Yale runs this

0:27:27.200 --> 0:27:32.199
<v Speaker 1>event and and Mr B has dyslexia, and so he

0:27:32.240 --> 0:27:33.960
<v Speaker 1>was like, it's this the boy And I was like yeah,

0:27:33.960 --> 0:27:36.280
<v Speaker 1>And so he pulls him aside and like, I need

0:27:36.320 --> 0:27:38.520
<v Speaker 1>to have a conversation with him without you. And so

0:27:39.320 --> 0:27:42.200
<v Speaker 1>my Miles is probably nine years old, has no real

0:27:42.520 --> 0:27:45.720
<v Speaker 1>clear understanding of who Mr B is at all. And

0:27:46.040 --> 0:27:47.600
<v Speaker 1>when I asked him, I said, well, what did he

0:27:47.640 --> 0:27:50.439
<v Speaker 1>say to you? He said, he told me that I

0:27:50.520 --> 0:27:54.000
<v Speaker 1>have that dyslexia gives me a superpower and I just

0:27:54.240 --> 0:27:58.920
<v Speaker 1>learned what mine is and and it was so empowering

0:27:59.040 --> 0:28:01.439
<v Speaker 1>for him. But I think every kid is in that space.

0:28:01.920 --> 0:28:04.760
<v Speaker 1>It's like every kid is in a space where they

0:28:04.800 --> 0:28:07.280
<v Speaker 1>have been told or they have been convinced that something

0:28:07.320 --> 0:28:10.159
<v Speaker 1>that is really natural to them is crazy to other people.

0:28:11.000 --> 0:28:13.480
<v Speaker 1>And if we would stop telling kids that there's some

0:28:13.600 --> 0:28:17.760
<v Speaker 1>yellow brick road to success or some narrow road that

0:28:17.840 --> 0:28:20.119
<v Speaker 1>if they travel this road that all these other people

0:28:20.119 --> 0:28:24.000
<v Speaker 1>have traveled, that they're gonna make it and start individualizing

0:28:24.160 --> 0:28:27.280
<v Speaker 1>that give them have a unique gift and they have

0:28:27.400 --> 0:28:30.200
<v Speaker 1>to uniquely identify the tools that help them get there.

0:28:30.640 --> 0:28:35.520
<v Speaker 1>Then whether it's defiant, um, whether it's questioning, whether it's activity,

0:28:36.200 --> 0:28:39.760
<v Speaker 1>whether it's whether it's uh, you know, solving problem solved,

0:28:39.760 --> 0:28:42.480
<v Speaker 1>whatever it is, we would be getting out of these

0:28:42.520 --> 0:28:47.080
<v Speaker 1>babies way helping them actually do what it is that

0:28:47.120 --> 0:28:49.640
<v Speaker 1>they were put here to do, as opposed to convince

0:28:49.720 --> 0:28:51.200
<v Speaker 1>them that they were put here to do something else.

0:28:51.920 --> 0:28:54.840
<v Speaker 1>Before you, I just wanted to to chime in on

0:28:54.960 --> 0:28:59.120
<v Speaker 1>that thought. That and I talked about it all the time, um,

0:28:59.200 --> 0:29:01.200
<v Speaker 1>because you know, I of to talk. That's something we

0:29:01.280 --> 0:29:04.880
<v Speaker 1>do together. We talk all the time. When I was young,

0:29:05.000 --> 0:29:08.440
<v Speaker 1>I was punished a lot for talking. Um. It was

0:29:08.520 --> 0:29:11.240
<v Speaker 1>actually the thing in school that would keep me in

0:29:11.360 --> 0:29:14.000
<v Speaker 1>trouble and I and I wasn't just a talker, but

0:29:14.080 --> 0:29:17.840
<v Speaker 1>I recognize injustice and so I would speak up on

0:29:17.920 --> 0:29:20.760
<v Speaker 1>behalf of other people. I would speak to the conditions

0:29:20.800 --> 0:29:24.760
<v Speaker 1>of the school. I attended a Catholic school in which, um,

0:29:24.920 --> 0:29:29.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, there was clearly a difference between the way

0:29:29.160 --> 0:29:34.240
<v Speaker 1>that the Latino young people, especially young girls, they had longer,

0:29:34.440 --> 0:29:38.520
<v Speaker 1>prettier hair, they were treated differently from us as young

0:29:38.520 --> 0:29:42.760
<v Speaker 1>black girls, darker brown skin girls, um, you know, who

0:29:42.960 --> 0:29:45.600
<v Speaker 1>had the sort of pigtail look. And I used to

0:29:45.600 --> 0:29:49.560
<v Speaker 1>say things about it, and they found ways to marginalize

0:29:49.600 --> 0:29:51.640
<v Speaker 1>me and to use the fact that I was so

0:29:51.720 --> 0:29:55.040
<v Speaker 1>talkative as something to tell my parents so that I

0:29:55.040 --> 0:29:59.560
<v Speaker 1>would stay in trouble. So the discipline, if you will,

0:30:00.080 --> 0:30:02.240
<v Speaker 1>at school was rough, and then I would get home

0:30:02.280 --> 0:30:04.160
<v Speaker 1>and my parents would punish me over the weekend because

0:30:04.200 --> 0:30:06.959
<v Speaker 1>they had to to pay me back for whatever I

0:30:07.000 --> 0:30:10.200
<v Speaker 1>was doing in school, and it made me miserable and

0:30:10.320 --> 0:30:13.800
<v Speaker 1>probably very rebellious to where at twelve years old, I

0:30:13.840 --> 0:30:16.800
<v Speaker 1>started running away from home. And the conversation that I've

0:30:16.800 --> 0:30:19.800
<v Speaker 1>had with my parents since then is that the thing

0:30:20.280 --> 0:30:24.000
<v Speaker 1>we thought or they thought, was, you know, you know,

0:30:24.040 --> 0:30:27.960
<v Speaker 1>it was problematic about me ended up being what now

0:30:28.360 --> 0:30:31.120
<v Speaker 1>has shaped who I am as a person. Um. And

0:30:31.160 --> 0:30:35.920
<v Speaker 1>so I agree with you so much about individualizing individuals,

0:30:36.160 --> 0:30:38.560
<v Speaker 1>and you know, we call people individuals, but then we

0:30:38.600 --> 0:30:41.200
<v Speaker 1>want them to act in a pack. And it doesn't.

0:30:41.280 --> 0:30:43.520
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't work that way. And I think if folks

0:30:43.520 --> 0:30:46.920
<v Speaker 1>had been more like if perhaps if they had found

0:30:46.920 --> 0:30:50.760
<v Speaker 1>me a debate school, perhaps if they had, you know,

0:30:50.800 --> 0:30:53.680
<v Speaker 1>allowed me to be the one to do the announcements

0:30:53.760 --> 0:30:56.720
<v Speaker 1>every day, you know what I mean, giving me some

0:30:56.880 --> 0:30:59.320
<v Speaker 1>job that allowed me to speak rather than trying to

0:30:59.360 --> 0:31:02.360
<v Speaker 1>suppress my voice. It may have actually helped me. But

0:31:02.440 --> 0:31:04.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, I still did it. I still talked too

0:31:04.240 --> 0:31:07.680
<v Speaker 1>much behind whatever I think it's I think it's it's perfect.

0:31:07.680 --> 0:31:10.200
<v Speaker 1>I say that all the time. I said, your gifts

0:31:10.240 --> 0:31:12.800
<v Speaker 1>are the things that come so natural to you, you know,

0:31:12.840 --> 0:31:14.520
<v Speaker 1>and when you have when you say what you just said.

0:31:14.560 --> 0:31:17.640
<v Speaker 1>Your mother actually acknowledged that at your party. She was like,

0:31:17.680 --> 0:31:20.440
<v Speaker 1>you know, the children who give you the most, hell,

0:31:20.920 --> 0:31:23.480
<v Speaker 1>those let them do what they need to do. She said,

0:31:23.480 --> 0:31:25.720
<v Speaker 1>those are the ones that are gonna go off and

0:31:25.760 --> 0:31:27.720
<v Speaker 1>do great things. And I realized the same thing in

0:31:27.800 --> 0:31:29.720
<v Speaker 1>my life. But I want what I want. I'm gonna

0:31:29.720 --> 0:31:32.400
<v Speaker 1>bring it back to this. I think black fatherhood is

0:31:32.440 --> 0:31:35.440
<v Speaker 1>so important right and when we look even when now

0:31:35.520 --> 0:31:37.920
<v Speaker 1>when you go they have a lot of commercials for

0:31:37.960 --> 0:31:41.719
<v Speaker 1>schools where they want black teachers black male teachers, because

0:31:42.120 --> 0:31:44.280
<v Speaker 1>there's not a lot of black male teachers, and I

0:31:44.640 --> 0:31:50.040
<v Speaker 1>realized there was one. There was there was one black

0:31:50.040 --> 0:31:53.360
<v Speaker 1>teacher that that really pretty much molded me in fourth grade.

0:31:53.400 --> 0:31:55.920
<v Speaker 1>I never had any other teacher. And I remember one

0:31:55.960 --> 0:31:59.520
<v Speaker 1>day I was just in a school walking. He pulled

0:31:59.520 --> 0:32:01.280
<v Speaker 1>me to this out and tell me pull your damn

0:32:01.360 --> 0:32:03.800
<v Speaker 1>pants up, and he just put me to side. He said,

0:32:03.800 --> 0:32:05.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, you know these kids look up to you.

0:32:06.120 --> 0:32:08.480
<v Speaker 1>You know how influential you are. You know how intelligent

0:32:08.560 --> 0:32:10.000
<v Speaker 1>you are, you know how smart you out here and

0:32:10.000 --> 0:32:11.840
<v Speaker 1>you out here running around here looking like a fool

0:32:12.040 --> 0:32:16.840
<v Speaker 1>and letting these people um marginalize you and pay us

0:32:16.920 --> 0:32:19.600
<v Speaker 1>and label you as something that you're not. You You

0:32:19.720 --> 0:32:22.040
<v Speaker 1>reflect me, and you gotta and you need to act

0:32:22.080 --> 0:32:24.800
<v Speaker 1>like it. And from that conversation, the way that I

0:32:24.880 --> 0:32:28.280
<v Speaker 1>conducted myself every day after that, because I didn't want

0:32:28.360 --> 0:32:30.200
<v Speaker 1>him to see me in a certain way and I

0:32:30.240 --> 0:32:32.880
<v Speaker 1>wanted him to be proud of me, pretty much shaped

0:32:32.960 --> 0:32:35.080
<v Speaker 1>my life throughout the rest of my life. Every time

0:32:35.120 --> 0:32:37.680
<v Speaker 1>I would do something wrong in school, I thought about

0:32:37.720 --> 0:32:40.600
<v Speaker 1>this teacher's name was Mr. Johnson, So I wanted you

0:32:40.680 --> 0:32:42.560
<v Speaker 1>to speak to what do you how do you feel

0:32:42.560 --> 0:32:45.320
<v Speaker 1>about the the presence of black fathers, the presence of

0:32:45.360 --> 0:32:48.320
<v Speaker 1>black men just in the community, whether it's your father

0:32:48.480 --> 0:32:52.360
<v Speaker 1>or your father like figure in the community. No, I

0:32:52.360 --> 0:32:54.240
<v Speaker 1>mean I I don't. I don't think we can argue

0:32:54.320 --> 0:32:58.000
<v Speaker 1>the importance of men in communities. I think the question

0:32:58.160 --> 0:33:02.600
<v Speaker 1>for us, because we know we know when when men

0:33:02.600 --> 0:33:06.520
<v Speaker 1>are in communities and and that there is a difference,

0:33:06.560 --> 0:33:10.000
<v Speaker 1>the question for me is how are we investing in

0:33:10.560 --> 0:33:14.160
<v Speaker 1>how brothers are in communities? And so I think sometimes

0:33:14.200 --> 0:33:18.440
<v Speaker 1>we're so heavy to talk about presents that we don't

0:33:18.520 --> 0:33:24.600
<v Speaker 1>talk about health. I know, you know, we we created

0:33:24.600 --> 0:33:28.600
<v Speaker 1>a community called JOURNALSY, and JOURNALSY is taking the word

0:33:28.680 --> 0:33:32.800
<v Speaker 1>journey and legacy and bringing it together. So JOURNALSY is about, um,

0:33:32.800 --> 0:33:36.920
<v Speaker 1>how do we honor every black dad's unique journey to

0:33:37.000 --> 0:33:41.120
<v Speaker 1>create legacy for his kids. But the community is about health.

0:33:41.240 --> 0:33:44.480
<v Speaker 1>I mean literally, I did an unplanned live uh two

0:33:44.560 --> 0:33:47.440
<v Speaker 1>days ago, and a brother came on and said, you know,

0:33:47.600 --> 0:33:51.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm raising this two year old by myself, her

0:33:51.440 --> 0:33:55.240
<v Speaker 1>mother's daughter. Her my daughter's mother passed away, and I

0:33:55.280 --> 0:33:58.640
<v Speaker 1>don't know what the hell I'm doing. And not only

0:33:58.680 --> 0:34:01.360
<v Speaker 1>do we have another brother who was alive and these

0:34:01.360 --> 0:34:03.640
<v Speaker 1>are just regular dads. Like I literally went on and

0:34:03.760 --> 0:34:05.360
<v Speaker 1>was just like, I just want to talk to some dads.

0:34:05.680 --> 0:34:09.000
<v Speaker 1>So this wasn't influencers, this wasn't dad influencers, this wasn't

0:34:09.000 --> 0:34:12.960
<v Speaker 1>celebrity dads. Was his brothers at work, and and so

0:34:14.040 --> 0:34:16.960
<v Speaker 1>he was like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm angry.

0:34:17.000 --> 0:34:19.880
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes I'm like, why did this happen to me? Um,

0:34:19.920 --> 0:34:22.080
<v Speaker 1>there's certain things with her I don't know how to do.

0:34:22.680 --> 0:34:26.080
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, bro, like one, can I celebrate you

0:34:26.200 --> 0:34:30.239
<v Speaker 1>right now? Because you you didn't put this baby up

0:34:30.239 --> 0:34:32.239
<v Speaker 1>for adoption, You didn't drop it off in your mind,

0:34:32.840 --> 0:34:36.360
<v Speaker 1>and do you you acknowledge like most parents do that

0:34:36.440 --> 0:34:38.200
<v Speaker 1>we don't know what Any good parents will tell you.

0:34:38.239 --> 0:34:40.440
<v Speaker 1>They don't know what the hell they're going Any parents

0:34:40.480 --> 0:34:42.480
<v Speaker 1>like I don't. I'm showing up at what I have

0:34:43.320 --> 0:34:45.040
<v Speaker 1>because I don't know what else to do, and I'm

0:34:45.040 --> 0:34:47.719
<v Speaker 1>hoping for the best. But but we were able to

0:34:47.760 --> 0:34:51.919
<v Speaker 1>connect him to three brothers who have been raising their

0:34:52.000 --> 0:34:55.359
<v Speaker 1>daughters by their self because they either lost the mother

0:34:55.440 --> 0:34:59.280
<v Speaker 1>in childbirth or the mother had a ray ease or condition.

0:35:00.040 --> 0:35:02.879
<v Speaker 1>And I talked to him the live is two days ago.

0:35:03.239 --> 0:35:06.840
<v Speaker 1>I talked to him this morning and he's like, man,

0:35:07.320 --> 0:35:11.080
<v Speaker 1>these brothers are fantastic. It seems like an entirely new day.

0:35:11.320 --> 0:35:14.960
<v Speaker 1>And I bring up that story to say, that's the

0:35:15.000 --> 0:35:17.399
<v Speaker 1>focus for me, because I don't want brothers to be

0:35:17.440 --> 0:35:21.360
<v Speaker 1>present and broken. I want them to be present. And

0:35:21.760 --> 0:35:24.560
<v Speaker 1>black men have the lowest life expectancy of any demographic

0:35:24.560 --> 0:35:26.800
<v Speaker 1>in America. We've got the highest level of toxic stress,

0:35:27.040 --> 0:35:30.760
<v Speaker 1>highest level of anxiety, highest level of of of increased

0:35:30.760 --> 0:35:34.759
<v Speaker 1>suicide rate, highest level of certain preventable diseases, and as

0:35:34.760 --> 0:35:38.279
<v Speaker 1>a result, we're dying from stuff that's preventable, but we

0:35:38.320 --> 0:35:40.360
<v Speaker 1>don't even have the wherewith all to talk about it

0:35:40.400 --> 0:35:43.080
<v Speaker 1>because what we've been told is manhood is shut the

0:35:43.120 --> 0:35:47.239
<v Speaker 1>funk up and standing there and look strong. So so yes,

0:35:47.680 --> 0:35:50.439
<v Speaker 1>my sound. The more brothers we can have present, I'm

0:35:50.480 --> 0:35:52.879
<v Speaker 1>with it. But can you imagine a world where black

0:35:52.880 --> 0:35:56.520
<v Speaker 1>men show up whole? That's beautiful And so that's what

0:35:56.800 --> 0:35:59.560
<v Speaker 1>that's what men thrive is about, That's what journalysy is about.

0:36:00.080 --> 0:36:01.840
<v Speaker 1>Destre mentor that's what I was about to ask you.

0:36:01.880 --> 0:36:05.960
<v Speaker 1>So that's pretty much what I've been that dude that

0:36:06.040 --> 0:36:08.920
<v Speaker 1>was showing up and like I got to a place

0:36:08.960 --> 0:36:10.440
<v Speaker 1>and I know y'all been there. I got to a

0:36:10.440 --> 0:36:13.360
<v Speaker 1>place where I was on the road for the mpteenth day,

0:36:13.840 --> 0:36:18.640
<v Speaker 1>and I got a call from Myers actually, and he

0:36:18.760 --> 0:36:21.640
<v Speaker 1>was like, I said, buddy, how you doing. You know,

0:36:21.680 --> 0:36:23.799
<v Speaker 1>blah blah blah blah. He was like, Daddy, I just

0:36:23.800 --> 0:36:29.080
<v Speaker 1>need you to come home. You come home, And and

0:36:30.480 --> 0:36:32.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean, coming out of the a CP, I was

0:36:32.400 --> 0:36:36.080
<v Speaker 1>probably in the worst place I've ever been. Um it

0:36:36.200 --> 0:36:38.880
<v Speaker 1>was a place of depression. I realized I hadn't. I

0:36:38.880 --> 0:36:44.759
<v Speaker 1>had been living this life of service and never serving me,

0:36:46.280 --> 0:36:49.360
<v Speaker 1>and so I was broken. Um, I wasn't who I

0:36:49.360 --> 0:36:53.200
<v Speaker 1>was supposed to be. I was navigating crazy um character

0:36:53.280 --> 0:36:57.200
<v Speaker 1>flaws that were being encouraged a lout of the brothers

0:36:57.239 --> 0:37:01.520
<v Speaker 1>around me were a whole either. And so I'm I am.

0:37:01.560 --> 0:37:04.920
<v Speaker 1>I am for my son brothers being president anyway, they

0:37:04.960 --> 0:37:11.359
<v Speaker 1>know how, but I'm excited about brothers being holed. M M. Yeah,

0:37:11.640 --> 0:37:14.200
<v Speaker 1>I mean pretty much. You pretty much sailed to deal

0:37:14.239 --> 0:37:16.920
<v Speaker 1>with that one. Being hold man. It's hard, you know,

0:37:16.960 --> 0:37:19.279
<v Speaker 1>we deal with so many different things, and like you said,

0:37:19.320 --> 0:37:21.680
<v Speaker 1>we've been told to just shut up and be strong,

0:37:22.360 --> 0:37:26.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, So just unpacking that and re teaching ourselves

0:37:26.360 --> 0:37:29.400
<v Speaker 1>something different. Man, it's really important. I'm in the process

0:37:29.400 --> 0:37:32.480
<v Speaker 1>of doing that because I find myself doing that with

0:37:32.520 --> 0:37:35.080
<v Speaker 1>my child. You don't have two young sons, and a

0:37:35.080 --> 0:37:37.399
<v Speaker 1>lot of times they'd be doing things and they fall

0:37:37.440 --> 0:37:38.759
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, you don't be crying, and then I

0:37:39.120 --> 0:37:41.719
<v Speaker 1>have to pull myself back and say, that's not that's

0:37:41.760 --> 0:37:44.200
<v Speaker 1>not really something I should tell them. Be emotional, have

0:37:44.680 --> 0:37:47.239
<v Speaker 1>expressed yourself. I don't want you to feel like you

0:37:47.320 --> 0:37:50.360
<v Speaker 1>have to put up a certain role or be something different,

0:37:50.800 --> 0:37:52.960
<v Speaker 1>or be too strong like you know, you should be

0:37:53.000 --> 0:37:55.600
<v Speaker 1>able to do those things. So I'm unlearning as I'm

0:37:55.640 --> 0:37:58.120
<v Speaker 1>trying to teach them, you know. So it's a process.

0:37:58.120 --> 0:38:00.840
<v Speaker 1>So definitely appreciate men throughout. I mean, I want to

0:38:00.880 --> 0:38:03.480
<v Speaker 1>get more in tune with that, you know, connect with

0:38:03.520 --> 0:38:04.960
<v Speaker 1>you on that and see what we could do. I

0:38:04.960 --> 0:38:08.720
<v Speaker 1>appreciate you though. All I will say, Jeff, is that

0:38:09.239 --> 0:38:12.919
<v Speaker 1>the more you are able to help black men heal

0:38:13.120 --> 0:38:17.000
<v Speaker 1>as you continue your own healing process. Yes, it's important

0:38:17.000 --> 0:38:20.120
<v Speaker 1>for our children, but black women need you all. You know,

0:38:20.239 --> 0:38:24.640
<v Speaker 1>Black women need healed black men in our lives, and um,

0:38:24.680 --> 0:38:27.520
<v Speaker 1>I think the work you're doing is probably the most

0:38:27.560 --> 0:38:31.600
<v Speaker 1>critical component of what can bring the black family together.

0:38:31.760 --> 0:38:34.640
<v Speaker 1>And I don't mean it so much in a relational

0:38:34.719 --> 0:38:39.240
<v Speaker 1>sense in terms of husband and wife for spouses. UM.

0:38:39.280 --> 0:38:42.359
<v Speaker 1>I mean it just the Black family. Is the grandfather

0:38:42.719 --> 0:38:47.080
<v Speaker 1>to the grandchild, it's the granddaughter having a relationship with

0:38:47.120 --> 0:38:50.239
<v Speaker 1>the son. I mean, all those things are so important.

0:38:50.520 --> 0:38:53.200
<v Speaker 1>And I believe that in this moment. I think that

0:38:53.880 --> 0:38:57.640
<v Speaker 1>throughout history, UM, and I guess, I guess I don't think.

0:38:57.680 --> 0:39:01.360
<v Speaker 1>I know that throughout history one of the most important

0:39:01.440 --> 0:39:04.680
<v Speaker 1>tactics of our oppressor has been to keep our families

0:39:04.840 --> 0:39:08.279
<v Speaker 1>split and to keep us broken. UM. Because once we

0:39:08.360 --> 0:39:11.640
<v Speaker 1>recognize and realize the power that we have being a unit,

0:39:12.239 --> 0:39:15.719
<v Speaker 1>how how bold will we be? UM. And So it's

0:39:15.760 --> 0:39:18.200
<v Speaker 1>something I look forward to and I look forward to

0:39:18.440 --> 0:39:21.480
<v Speaker 1>even my own healing, because I am in transformation and

0:39:21.520 --> 0:39:23.680
<v Speaker 1>I feel it every day, and I feel like I'm

0:39:23.719 --> 0:39:26.600
<v Speaker 1>showing up better in space with my son, which you

0:39:26.680 --> 0:39:30.280
<v Speaker 1>and I have talked about so many times over the years.

0:39:30.560 --> 0:39:32.839
<v Speaker 1>What it's like to try to raise a twenty two

0:39:32.920 --> 0:39:36.880
<v Speaker 1>year old when I also needed to be raised. UM.

0:39:36.960 --> 0:39:40.680
<v Speaker 1>So I love you and and I'm so grateful for you, Jeff.

0:39:40.719 --> 0:39:42.799
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for your work. Thank you for your sacrifice.

0:39:42.840 --> 0:39:44.960
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for your commitment. Know that it does not

0:39:45.160 --> 0:39:49.520
<v Speaker 1>go unseen. Absolutely, but you before you go, we got

0:39:49.520 --> 0:39:51.200
<v Speaker 1>to come back and talk about something you just said.

0:39:51.239 --> 0:39:54.520
<v Speaker 1>Because the family is us, it really is the platonic

0:39:54.560 --> 0:39:58.120
<v Speaker 1>relationships between black men and women. We could get to

0:39:58.120 --> 0:40:02.160
<v Speaker 1>the place where relationship goals, where more about how do

0:40:02.520 --> 0:40:04.719
<v Speaker 1>black men and black women look at each other and

0:40:04.719 --> 0:40:06.759
<v Speaker 1>say I want to create a relationship with them just

0:40:06.800 --> 0:40:09.759
<v Speaker 1>because not because I want to hit because they look

0:40:09.800 --> 0:40:11.560
<v Speaker 1>good on my arm, not because she can hold it back,

0:40:11.680 --> 0:40:14.120
<v Speaker 1>not because she can cook, not because this negro can

0:40:14.200 --> 0:40:16.160
<v Speaker 1>buy his ring, or not because he can drive this.

0:40:16.600 --> 0:40:19.319
<v Speaker 1>But I think about the relationship you and I have

0:40:19.880 --> 0:40:22.920
<v Speaker 1>and it's like, I love you because you dope theory

0:40:23.040 --> 0:40:26.960
<v Speaker 1>because you dope, no right and so, but imagine what

0:40:27.000 --> 0:40:30.640
<v Speaker 1>we would look like if even the romantic relationships we

0:40:30.640 --> 0:40:33.160
<v Speaker 1>were in were rooted in the fact that we got

0:40:33.560 --> 0:40:37.920
<v Speaker 1>first because we each other was dope. That's that's the

0:40:38.000 --> 0:40:43.799
<v Speaker 1>key to Yeah, that's the key to it. Y'all are

0:40:43.800 --> 0:40:47.399
<v Speaker 1>both dope dads. Love y'all so much. Thank you, Jeff,

0:40:47.440 --> 0:40:49.760
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for being with us, you coming back again,

0:40:50.200 --> 0:41:01.719
<v Speaker 1>definitely You appreci YouTube helping men thrive Jeff. Jeff is

0:41:01.800 --> 0:41:06.000
<v Speaker 1>very inspirational. I watched just just watching him. See the

0:41:06.000 --> 0:41:08.840
<v Speaker 1>thing is, you know, I realized that he had a

0:41:08.840 --> 0:41:12.600
<v Speaker 1>lot of children. He got well, I realized that he

0:41:12.640 --> 0:41:16.279
<v Speaker 1>had children before. But I think maybe it's the fact that,

0:41:17.800 --> 0:41:20.319
<v Speaker 1>you know, social media got way more prevalent. And I

0:41:20.320 --> 0:41:25.120
<v Speaker 1>started seeing him talk about the journey, you know, it

0:41:25.200 --> 0:41:26.800
<v Speaker 1>was a lot, and I was like, damn. And he

0:41:26.880 --> 0:41:30.520
<v Speaker 1>started talking about how changed and it even changed the

0:41:30.560 --> 0:41:33.480
<v Speaker 1>relationship with him and his wife and everything. So you know,

0:41:33.520 --> 0:41:35.680
<v Speaker 1>I just I applaud him and just listening to the

0:41:35.760 --> 0:41:38.000
<v Speaker 1>men thriving something that's because a lot of us men,

0:41:38.480 --> 0:41:40.560
<v Speaker 1>we just was taught different. We was told we wasn't

0:41:40.560 --> 0:41:43.320
<v Speaker 1>supposed to be emotional. We was supposed to strow emotions,

0:41:43.320 --> 0:41:46.440
<v Speaker 1>were supposed to always be strong, and a lot of

0:41:46.520 --> 0:41:49.600
<v Speaker 1>us were raised that way. And and when you start

0:41:49.640 --> 0:41:53.359
<v Speaker 1>to think about it, it's not even realistic. Yeah, right,

0:41:55.200 --> 0:41:59.359
<v Speaker 1>part of the breakdown between black women and black men,

0:41:59.719 --> 0:42:02.040
<v Speaker 1>it's of the things that we've been taught on both sides.

0:42:02.080 --> 0:42:04.480
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you know, when I when I was growing up,

0:42:04.520 --> 0:42:06.839
<v Speaker 1>my mother didn't say it because she obviously has an

0:42:06.880 --> 0:42:11.520
<v Speaker 1>incredible husband, which he wasn't always incredible, but nonetheless he's

0:42:11.560 --> 0:42:14.560
<v Speaker 1>a good man. Um. But there was a narrative that

0:42:14.600 --> 0:42:16.759
<v Speaker 1>I heard from many older women, and men ain't ship,

0:42:16.960 --> 0:42:19.319
<v Speaker 1>you know, that's just something we were taught. You can't

0:42:19.360 --> 0:42:21.799
<v Speaker 1>trust them. They all lie, they all cheat, and so

0:42:21.960 --> 0:42:25.600
<v Speaker 1>we carry that with us into relationships. So we're entering

0:42:25.640 --> 0:42:30.440
<v Speaker 1>a relationship with trauma just based upon somebody else's story

0:42:30.600 --> 0:42:33.400
<v Speaker 1>or what what what's being deposited in our minds, and

0:42:33.480 --> 0:42:35.719
<v Speaker 1>so in state of emergency, one of the things that

0:42:35.760 --> 0:42:39.160
<v Speaker 1>I thought was so important is to hire someone to

0:42:39.239 --> 0:42:43.680
<v Speaker 1>help me with research, because sometimes we as black folks,

0:42:43.680 --> 0:42:45.640
<v Speaker 1>and I don't know if other communities do this, but

0:42:45.719 --> 0:42:50.080
<v Speaker 1>I know with us, we tell stories like tales to

0:42:50.280 --> 0:42:53.400
<v Speaker 1>make a particular point. And then later on you're like

0:42:53.480 --> 0:42:56.800
<v Speaker 1>going around thinking that Jesus walked down hunt twenty five street,

0:42:57.239 --> 0:42:59.799
<v Speaker 1>and it's like Jesus was not. He was never on

0:43:00.040 --> 0:43:02.759
<v Speaker 1>Huntsway history. But that's something that made sense at the

0:43:02.880 --> 0:43:06.720
<v Speaker 1>time that your grandmother said, if you know, because Jesus

0:43:06.840 --> 0:43:08.960
<v Speaker 1>is down there walking on in twenty fifty and he

0:43:09.040 --> 0:43:11.200
<v Speaker 1>gonna get you. And you're like, oh my god, can't

0:43:11.320 --> 0:43:13.640
<v Speaker 1>you know You're thinking that these things are true, and

0:43:13.680 --> 0:43:16.239
<v Speaker 1>it's actually not. So I wanted to make sure that

0:43:16.320 --> 0:43:19.520
<v Speaker 1>even the things that I believe I know about history

0:43:19.560 --> 0:43:21.520
<v Speaker 1>that I was I was right, that I was right

0:43:21.560 --> 0:43:25.160
<v Speaker 1>on point, and I learned in the process and unlearned

0:43:25.200 --> 0:43:27.320
<v Speaker 1>some things. And one of the one of the issues

0:43:27.360 --> 0:43:29.480
<v Speaker 1>that I told you about all the time is that

0:43:29.840 --> 0:43:32.479
<v Speaker 1>towards um the end of the book, where I start

0:43:32.560 --> 0:43:35.680
<v Speaker 1>to really get into some of the solutions, I talked

0:43:35.719 --> 0:43:38.719
<v Speaker 1>about police reform. And it just kills me that I

0:43:38.840 --> 0:43:42.439
<v Speaker 1>used the word reform, because over the year that I

0:43:42.480 --> 0:43:45.440
<v Speaker 1>was writing the book, I still believe that reform is

0:43:45.480 --> 0:43:48.960
<v Speaker 1>what we needed and towards and now as I'm entering

0:43:49.000 --> 0:43:51.720
<v Speaker 1>this new phase of my own development, I realized reform

0:43:51.760 --> 0:43:58.080
<v Speaker 1>won't work. That it's you overhaul that transformation, overhaul, tearing

0:43:58.120 --> 0:44:02.799
<v Speaker 1>down up what exists and rebuilding public safety with community

0:44:03.040 --> 0:44:05.920
<v Speaker 1>at the center of it. And so but you know,

0:44:06.080 --> 0:44:09.040
<v Speaker 1>that's evolution, That's what growth is all about. Where we

0:44:09.160 --> 0:44:11.239
<v Speaker 1>get in trouble is when we think we know and

0:44:11.239 --> 0:44:13.800
<v Speaker 1>are unwilling to listen to other people. So I appreciate

0:44:13.880 --> 0:44:17.480
<v Speaker 1>Jeff for saying we're healing, learning and growing together. Definitely,

0:44:17.680 --> 0:44:20.279
<v Speaker 1>I definitely appreciate him. One of the fathers that I

0:44:20.320 --> 0:44:23.040
<v Speaker 1>look up to. And the next person that we're about

0:44:23.080 --> 0:44:25.759
<v Speaker 1>to have is also a father that I look up

0:44:25.800 --> 0:44:28.360
<v Speaker 1>to a very you know, a brother of somebody I

0:44:28.400 --> 0:44:30.840
<v Speaker 1>consider a brother. He's our friend. We got more friends

0:44:30.880 --> 0:44:33.879
<v Speaker 1>than anybody. But this is one of those brothers that man.

0:44:33.920 --> 0:44:36.560
<v Speaker 1>I just I watched the way he moves. I love,

0:44:37.160 --> 0:44:39.279
<v Speaker 1>you know, how stand up he is. I love the

0:44:39.320 --> 0:44:41.040
<v Speaker 1>way that he carries itself as a man, the way

0:44:41.080 --> 0:44:44.919
<v Speaker 1>he carries his family. And you know, he's always tintoes down.

0:44:45.000 --> 0:44:47.160
<v Speaker 1>So this is one of my brothers. And he happies

0:44:47.200 --> 0:44:49.960
<v Speaker 1>to he I mean, and he happens to be married

0:44:50.440 --> 0:44:56.799
<v Speaker 1>to our brand expert, LaToya LaToya Bond. Yes, and this

0:44:56.880 --> 0:45:02.120
<v Speaker 1>is my brother, none other than James Bond, the Bond Man.

0:45:03.120 --> 0:45:08.560
<v Speaker 1>What's going on? Everything good? Appreciate job, but we appreciate you. Man.

0:45:09.719 --> 0:45:12.080
<v Speaker 1>It's funny because y'all you had Jeff here today and

0:45:12.160 --> 0:45:16.600
<v Speaker 1>me and Jeff just went live yesterday. Yeah, we were

0:45:16.680 --> 0:45:20.360
<v Speaker 1>just building and kicking it about the importance of fatherhood,

0:45:20.440 --> 0:45:23.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, and how the neighborhoods and in the city

0:45:23.800 --> 0:45:26.040
<v Speaker 1>kids really need that, you know, and not only the

0:45:26.080 --> 0:45:29.120
<v Speaker 1>in the city. You know, it's very important. Yes, sir,

0:45:29.320 --> 0:45:31.000
<v Speaker 1>I was saying that to Jeff two, you know how

0:45:31.040 --> 0:45:34.920
<v Speaker 1>important it is to have black men in prevalent in

0:45:35.000 --> 0:45:39.200
<v Speaker 1>our communities fathers, even even if you're not biologically fathers.

0:45:39.200 --> 0:45:42.040
<v Speaker 1>But there's a lot of men in our communities who

0:45:42.080 --> 0:45:44.080
<v Speaker 1>people look up to as fathers, you know, and I

0:45:44.120 --> 0:45:47.080
<v Speaker 1>think it's important that we get back to that. You know,

0:45:47.200 --> 0:45:50.000
<v Speaker 1>So tell us about dad Ish. You know what made

0:45:50.000 --> 0:45:54.320
<v Speaker 1>you created? What is it is? I like the name already,

0:45:54.360 --> 0:45:56.440
<v Speaker 1>but I just wanted there is the name for me,

0:45:57.080 --> 0:45:58.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, do some of the little bit of down

0:45:58.640 --> 0:46:01.040
<v Speaker 1>to it. Yea. So reason why I came up with

0:46:01.120 --> 0:46:04.719
<v Speaker 1>Dada's just because I've seen that it was just a

0:46:04.840 --> 0:46:08.239
<v Speaker 1>lack of you know, like brotherhood, So I call it

0:46:08.360 --> 0:46:10.680
<v Speaker 1>dad It's just the fatherhood brotherhood, you know what I

0:46:10.920 --> 0:46:13.680
<v Speaker 1>And then what I try to do with dadashes link

0:46:13.760 --> 0:46:17.040
<v Speaker 1>up with like minded fathers because as fathers and as

0:46:17.040 --> 0:46:20.840
<v Speaker 1>men were we all have circles, right, So what I

0:46:20.920 --> 0:46:23.440
<v Speaker 1>do is I come in with my circle and we

0:46:23.520 --> 0:46:26.359
<v Speaker 1>get our circles together, which create a larger circle. And

0:46:26.360 --> 0:46:30.000
<v Speaker 1>if we build the right way, that overflows to the

0:46:30.120 --> 0:46:33.160
<v Speaker 1>kids in the community, you feel me. So that's what

0:46:33.280 --> 0:46:36.440
<v Speaker 1>Dadash is really all about. Networking and building and just

0:46:36.640 --> 0:46:40.479
<v Speaker 1>giving back, you know, because as a dad, the reason

0:46:40.480 --> 0:46:42.080
<v Speaker 1>why I do the things that I do is because

0:46:42.239 --> 0:46:44.479
<v Speaker 1>I grew up without a father. So all the things

0:46:44.480 --> 0:46:46.719
<v Speaker 1>that I missed out on is the things that I

0:46:47.040 --> 0:46:49.520
<v Speaker 1>give to my kids, you know, and it's very important

0:46:49.520 --> 0:46:53.080
<v Speaker 1>to me. So what activities of dad is like, what

0:46:53.160 --> 0:46:55.120
<v Speaker 1>have you guys been doing? I mean, I've been watching

0:46:55.120 --> 0:46:59.040
<v Speaker 1>you on social media really building a movement. I love

0:46:59.120 --> 0:47:02.560
<v Speaker 1>the networking opponent of father is getting together because one

0:47:02.600 --> 0:47:05.440
<v Speaker 1>of the big arguments that my son and I have

0:47:05.840 --> 0:47:09.360
<v Speaker 1>on a regular basis not just him, also um Angelo,

0:47:09.400 --> 0:47:12.640
<v Speaker 1>who you know well, our partner until freedom. One of

0:47:12.680 --> 0:47:16.080
<v Speaker 1>the biggest arguments we get into is this idea that

0:47:16.600 --> 0:47:20.520
<v Speaker 1>women get together all the time working on women. So

0:47:20.560 --> 0:47:22.759
<v Speaker 1>we don't need y'all to tell us what we need

0:47:22.840 --> 0:47:25.280
<v Speaker 1>to do, because that's what they do to me. Y'all

0:47:25.280 --> 0:47:27.040
<v Speaker 1>need to do this, and y'all need to do that,

0:47:27.200 --> 0:47:30.239
<v Speaker 1>and y'all need to know what you do to Yeah,

0:47:30.280 --> 0:47:32.600
<v Speaker 1>well that's because y'all don't get together and figure out

0:47:32.640 --> 0:47:35.040
<v Speaker 1>what y'all need. Y'all need us to tell y'all. We

0:47:35.080 --> 0:47:38.480
<v Speaker 1>don't need y'all telling It's true because women do get

0:47:38.480 --> 0:47:43.840
<v Speaker 1>together more than men, and they building, they create common

0:47:43.880 --> 0:47:46.480
<v Speaker 1>goals and then they attack them, you feel me. And

0:47:46.520 --> 0:47:49.480
<v Speaker 1>that's another part of this where I reached out to

0:47:49.520 --> 0:47:52.359
<v Speaker 1>all the brothers who I know, the young Dad's old days,

0:47:52.440 --> 0:47:55.480
<v Speaker 1>because it's basically each one teach one thing. So what

0:47:55.600 --> 0:47:57.600
<v Speaker 1>I do is, first of all, I'm from Halem of

0:47:57.640 --> 0:47:59.880
<v Speaker 1>Coach ya know what everybody else don't know. I go

0:48:00.040 --> 0:48:02.640
<v Speaker 1>back to where I'm originally from, where they know me

0:48:02.680 --> 0:48:05.839
<v Speaker 1>the best at and I started there. That's my grassroots,

0:48:06.280 --> 0:48:09.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, and I just build with the brothers, like, yo,

0:48:09.480 --> 0:48:11.799
<v Speaker 1>you could be doing something different, you know, with this

0:48:11.880 --> 0:48:14.719
<v Speaker 1>amount of I mean, you could call it power, but

0:48:14.800 --> 0:48:18.200
<v Speaker 1>it's just basically influence in the community. You could be

0:48:18.200 --> 0:48:20.840
<v Speaker 1>doing much more. And I tell them, look, I'm a

0:48:20.840 --> 0:48:22.920
<v Speaker 1>perfect example that we all come from the same place,

0:48:23.320 --> 0:48:26.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, and that's that's what it is. That's the

0:48:26.080 --> 0:48:27.520
<v Speaker 1>key to it, you know. And I try to do

0:48:27.560 --> 0:48:30.200
<v Speaker 1>the same thing. Go back to the community because for me,

0:48:30.280 --> 0:48:33.080
<v Speaker 1>it's like why would I want to grow and evolve

0:48:33.560 --> 0:48:36.960
<v Speaker 1>and be successful and have the people from where I

0:48:37.520 --> 0:48:40.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, is that my lowest at stay there, you know.

0:48:40.239 --> 0:48:42.640
<v Speaker 1>I want to evolve what people come back to the community.

0:48:42.640 --> 0:48:44.680
<v Speaker 1>I tell people all the time A lot that the

0:48:44.719 --> 0:48:47.319
<v Speaker 1>notion of leaving the hood is good, but you know,

0:48:47.440 --> 0:48:48.839
<v Speaker 1>you want to go to a better place, you want

0:48:48.880 --> 0:48:52.200
<v Speaker 1>to live in it. But the key is to transform

0:48:52.280 --> 0:48:56.120
<v Speaker 1>the hood to where it's something that's that's beautiful for you.

0:48:56.120 --> 0:48:58.120
<v Speaker 1>You know, you want to I want to see everybody

0:48:58.360 --> 0:49:00.560
<v Speaker 1>in our community thrive. I want to see these young

0:49:00.600 --> 0:49:04.040
<v Speaker 1>brothers utilized, like you said, their influence to be, you know,

0:49:04.160 --> 0:49:06.839
<v Speaker 1>something positive, because it's it's easy to do. And when

0:49:06.880 --> 0:49:09.400
<v Speaker 1>you start to realize it, you know, when I started

0:49:09.400 --> 0:49:12.719
<v Speaker 1>realizing that the influence I have and the ideologies I

0:49:12.800 --> 0:49:16.439
<v Speaker 1>have can be put to something more than what we've

0:49:16.440 --> 0:49:18.640
<v Speaker 1>been taught about in the streets, you know, and when

0:49:18.680 --> 0:49:22.000
<v Speaker 1>you apply it to something else that's that's legal and positive,

0:49:22.320 --> 0:49:24.640
<v Speaker 1>the amount of success that you can have from it.

0:49:24.800 --> 0:49:27.520
<v Speaker 1>I was startled. I couldn't even believe that because we

0:49:27.600 --> 0:49:29.680
<v Speaker 1>have only been taught that this is the way. You

0:49:29.760 --> 0:49:32.000
<v Speaker 1>gotta do this, and you gotta utilize the streets, and

0:49:32.000 --> 0:49:33.640
<v Speaker 1>you gotta go to this method. And as soon as

0:49:33.920 --> 0:49:36.960
<v Speaker 1>I realized that the same ideology and the same talents

0:49:36.960 --> 0:49:39.120
<v Speaker 1>that I have I can use to do something positive,

0:49:39.719 --> 0:49:42.400
<v Speaker 1>I immediately did it. So Dad is when I when

0:49:42.440 --> 0:49:44.279
<v Speaker 1>I think about what you're saying with Dad, is is

0:49:44.880 --> 0:49:49.520
<v Speaker 1>influences and people of integrity who have you know, some

0:49:49.640 --> 0:49:54.200
<v Speaker 1>level of notoriety. Just coming together with this regular people

0:49:54.400 --> 0:49:57.439
<v Speaker 1>everybody and just and letting them feel empowered and showing

0:49:57.480 --> 0:49:59.640
<v Speaker 1>them how to utilize what they have to be in

0:49:59.680 --> 0:50:04.840
<v Speaker 1>power game changes, just showing them that it's other options.

0:50:04.960 --> 0:50:07.080
<v Speaker 1>You know, we don't got to be stuck in the

0:50:07.120 --> 0:50:10.640
<v Speaker 1>same ways anymore. There's so many optionss guys with limit

0:50:11.080 --> 0:50:13.680
<v Speaker 1>and you know, with Dad is as you guys already know,

0:50:13.719 --> 0:50:16.480
<v Speaker 1>we're putting together a tournament for get back I mean

0:50:16.680 --> 0:50:19.920
<v Speaker 1>back to school in August, and also working on putting

0:50:19.920 --> 0:50:22.760
<v Speaker 1>a retreat together for Dad so that we could get together.

0:50:22.760 --> 0:50:26.320
<v Speaker 1>And there you go, because these girls are retreats. You

0:50:26.360 --> 0:50:29.720
<v Speaker 1>already know. We gotta build and just playing the seeds,

0:50:30.080 --> 0:50:32.480
<v Speaker 1>you feel me because without playing the seeds, it won't

0:50:32.480 --> 0:50:36.000
<v Speaker 1>be anything. Yeah, No, And you know I think, Um,

0:50:36.040 --> 0:50:38.759
<v Speaker 1>you know you are our change maker today. We have

0:50:38.840 --> 0:50:42.040
<v Speaker 1>a change maker, a segment in which we choose people

0:50:42.239 --> 0:50:46.320
<v Speaker 1>who are doing really, really positive things within the community.

0:50:46.400 --> 0:50:49.520
<v Speaker 1>Some folks are doing it on an international scale. Other

0:50:49.560 --> 0:50:52.120
<v Speaker 1>people are doing it just on their block. Um, and

0:50:52.160 --> 0:50:54.560
<v Speaker 1>I think all those things matter, and Dad is is

0:50:54.640 --> 0:50:58.000
<v Speaker 1>so important. I see this movement growing. I know the

0:50:58.120 --> 0:51:01.000
<v Speaker 1>drive that you have and also the support of the

0:51:01.080 --> 0:51:04.080
<v Speaker 1>strong black women who are there to help you um

0:51:04.200 --> 0:51:08.920
<v Speaker 1>and and it's obviously a very very very important moment

0:51:09.160 --> 0:51:12.279
<v Speaker 1>in our in in in just in in general, in

0:51:12.320 --> 0:51:15.799
<v Speaker 1>our society, especially when we know that shootings are up

0:51:15.840 --> 0:51:19.640
<v Speaker 1>around the country. People are dying, and they're dying because

0:51:19.680 --> 0:51:22.560
<v Speaker 1>there's so much oppression and pain and so much lack

0:51:22.800 --> 0:51:25.759
<v Speaker 1>to your original point, where folks are feeling like they

0:51:25.800 --> 0:51:28.359
<v Speaker 1>don't have. But one of the things I will say

0:51:28.480 --> 0:51:33.840
<v Speaker 1>is that watching you with your daughter, watching you with Journey,

0:51:34.280 --> 0:51:38.400
<v Speaker 1>is where I see the most of the of the

0:51:38.520 --> 0:51:41.680
<v Speaker 1>of the let's see, what do I want to call it,

0:51:41.680 --> 0:51:46.440
<v Speaker 1>it's change maker stuff. Man to watch a man and

0:51:46.520 --> 0:51:50.360
<v Speaker 1>his daughter have such a bond and come together in

0:51:50.440 --> 0:51:52.600
<v Speaker 1>the way with you, And I know because I have

0:51:52.760 --> 0:51:55.759
<v Speaker 1>that bond with my father, I know other young men

0:51:55.960 --> 0:51:59.000
<v Speaker 1>on the other, young women who have those bonds with

0:51:59.120 --> 0:52:03.480
<v Speaker 1>their dads. And I don't know if men, and particularly

0:52:03.560 --> 0:52:08.240
<v Speaker 1>black men, understand how important it is for your daughter

0:52:08.280 --> 0:52:11.560
<v Speaker 1>to know that her first love is her father, who

0:52:11.640 --> 0:52:14.319
<v Speaker 1>is there to teach her the values of what it

0:52:14.360 --> 0:52:17.200
<v Speaker 1>is for a man to be in her life. So

0:52:17.320 --> 0:52:19.640
<v Speaker 1>I just want to salute you for that and thank

0:52:19.680 --> 0:52:22.600
<v Speaker 1>you for the movement you're creating, because there is definitely

0:52:22.640 --> 0:52:26.359
<v Speaker 1>a need. Yes, yes, sir, Man, we appreciate you. King.

0:52:26.680 --> 0:52:29.279
<v Speaker 1>I always tell you, Man, you wanted brothers I look

0:52:29.360 --> 0:52:32.600
<v Speaker 1>up to. Man. Continue to be with you all man, Dad,

0:52:32.640 --> 0:52:35.279
<v Speaker 1>is just something I see going far. Make sure we

0:52:35.320 --> 0:52:38.160
<v Speaker 1>get these retreats going because we need to go out

0:52:38.400 --> 0:52:40.319
<v Speaker 1>and just build with each other. Because these women got

0:52:40.360 --> 0:52:42.800
<v Speaker 1>all types of stuff going on. Every time I turn around,

0:52:43.040 --> 0:52:45.680
<v Speaker 1>they got something going on. They work, They working. Look,

0:52:45.719 --> 0:52:49.279
<v Speaker 1>we gotta work. Well, listen, we working too. Let's work, man,

0:52:49.320 --> 0:52:53.160
<v Speaker 1>Let's get it going. Man. I appreciate you, appreciate your love.

0:52:53.239 --> 0:52:56.720
<v Speaker 1>You keep doing what you're doing. The Bond James Bond

0:52:56.800 --> 0:53:02.320
<v Speaker 1>Dad Ish Yes, Sir, shout out to James Man, James,

0:53:03.040 --> 0:53:04.840
<v Speaker 1>these are just a great dude. You know, there's a

0:53:04.880 --> 0:53:09.480
<v Speaker 1>lot of dudes, and you know it's hard, right transitioning

0:53:09.480 --> 0:53:12.120
<v Speaker 1>from where we come from. I see a lot of

0:53:12.440 --> 0:53:15.120
<v Speaker 1>brothers that I know have a struggle transitioning from the

0:53:15.160 --> 0:53:20.760
<v Speaker 1>streets and then evolving into having seen principles and morals

0:53:20.800 --> 0:53:24.040
<v Speaker 1>that we got from the streets but transform into something

0:53:24.080 --> 0:53:25.920
<v Speaker 1>that's positive. They think you just got to be the

0:53:25.960 --> 0:53:29.279
<v Speaker 1>street person and stay in golfing that. And he's one

0:53:29.320 --> 0:53:31.520
<v Speaker 1>of the people who shows you don't have to do that,

0:53:31.520 --> 0:53:33.759
<v Speaker 1>that you can come from the streets and understand the

0:53:33.760 --> 0:53:38.759
<v Speaker 1>ideology and still be respected, still be firm. That's what

0:53:38.840 --> 0:53:43.279
<v Speaker 1>it is because a lot of people and respect every

0:53:43.320 --> 0:53:46.480
<v Speaker 1>first of all American society. A matter of fact, the

0:53:46.480 --> 0:53:52.040
<v Speaker 1>whole world is has been built off of the perception

0:53:52.200 --> 0:53:57.239
<v Speaker 1>of power and respect. Right, well, you gotta have in

0:53:57.360 --> 0:53:59.680
<v Speaker 1>order for you to have power, people have to respect

0:53:59.840 --> 0:54:03.640
<v Speaker 1>or fear you. And um, I think that for a

0:54:03.640 --> 0:54:07.680
<v Speaker 1>lot of men, there is this feeling of you know,

0:54:08.000 --> 0:54:13.000
<v Speaker 1>if I soften and or change, will it make me

0:54:13.160 --> 0:54:16.160
<v Speaker 1>lose the grip that I have on whatever power is

0:54:16.239 --> 0:54:20.080
<v Speaker 1>in my little box, whatever box I live on, my street,

0:54:20.080 --> 0:54:22.680
<v Speaker 1>corner my house. So do I need to have power

0:54:22.719 --> 0:54:25.560
<v Speaker 1>over my wife? Do I need to have power, you know,

0:54:25.680 --> 0:54:29.160
<v Speaker 1>on the corner and the hood? So I think, now,

0:54:29.239 --> 0:54:32.040
<v Speaker 1>what what I'm hearing is that this is an opportunity

0:54:32.040 --> 0:54:34.520
<v Speaker 1>to figure out how to use, as you said, the

0:54:34.560 --> 0:54:38.840
<v Speaker 1>same skill set, the same talents, the same strategic thinking,

0:54:38.920 --> 0:54:42.759
<v Speaker 1>but to apply it to how we're going to develop

0:54:43.040 --> 0:54:47.880
<v Speaker 1>and empower our community. Shout out to James, and and

0:54:48.280 --> 0:54:51.719
<v Speaker 1>that just brings me to mine. Don't get it. I

0:54:51.800 --> 0:54:58.239
<v Speaker 1>don't get how any man would not want to be

0:54:58.320 --> 0:55:01.200
<v Speaker 1>your father to this shop. You know when when I

0:55:01.280 --> 0:55:03.560
<v Speaker 1>hear or you know, hearing the desk because some of

0:55:03.600 --> 0:55:06.400
<v Speaker 1>the stories and I've real you know, they are different,

0:55:06.760 --> 0:55:11.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, situations in people's relationships, but they are actually

0:55:11.160 --> 0:55:15.920
<v Speaker 1>men who father childs, who have had sons, who have daughters,

0:55:15.960 --> 0:55:20.319
<v Speaker 1>who really want to be connected to their fathers, and

0:55:20.360 --> 0:55:23.040
<v Speaker 1>they don't do it, you know, And as a father,

0:55:23.200 --> 0:55:26.239
<v Speaker 1>just understanding how connected I am to my children, how

0:55:26.440 --> 0:55:29.000
<v Speaker 1>just wanting to hear their voice, just seeing them smile,

0:55:29.239 --> 0:55:32.440
<v Speaker 1>just wanting to guide them through things, and watching how

0:55:32.520 --> 0:55:34.440
<v Speaker 1>they just evolved. Like when she talked, when he was

0:55:34.480 --> 0:55:37.760
<v Speaker 1>just talking about his child and seeing them do things

0:55:37.840 --> 0:55:40.920
<v Speaker 1>and his freedom. You know, every time my sons do

0:55:41.120 --> 0:55:45.040
<v Speaker 1>different things and I and I see them Jeff was

0:55:45.040 --> 0:55:48.120
<v Speaker 1>talking about his his two year olds, said watching them

0:55:48.120 --> 0:55:50.520
<v Speaker 1>and seeing them be so free and wanting to have that.

0:55:51.600 --> 0:55:55.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't understand how a man would not feel so

0:55:55.680 --> 0:55:58.880
<v Speaker 1>connected and obligated to be a father to their child,

0:55:58.880 --> 0:56:02.520
<v Speaker 1>Like I really don't get at all. Yeah, I mean,

0:56:02.880 --> 0:56:06.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, I mean, I guess I don't get it either. Um,

0:56:06.080 --> 0:56:08.960
<v Speaker 1>but there's a lot of it, and unfortunate, it's a

0:56:09.040 --> 0:56:13.200
<v Speaker 1>lot of absent parents in general, and certainty dads. But

0:56:13.400 --> 0:56:18.040
<v Speaker 1>the positive note is that there are many studies that

0:56:18.239 --> 0:56:22.040
<v Speaker 1>show black men are re entering the home, that black men,

0:56:22.239 --> 0:56:26.000
<v Speaker 1>especially those having children today, are finding ways to be

0:56:26.160 --> 0:56:29.399
<v Speaker 1>more committed and more present in their families. And I'm

0:56:29.400 --> 0:56:31.719
<v Speaker 1>really proud to see your son, my son who has

0:56:31.760 --> 0:56:35.720
<v Speaker 1>a new baby, really stand up and be a dad

0:56:36.040 --> 0:56:39.799
<v Speaker 1>now hopefully to reak his best buddy doesn't go out

0:56:39.880 --> 0:56:42.239
<v Speaker 1>and do the same thing. We're trying to keep him

0:56:42.280 --> 0:56:45.520
<v Speaker 1>at twenty two, my child from having a baby because

0:56:45.520 --> 0:56:48.239
<v Speaker 1>it's hard. You know, it's hard, And I think that's

0:56:48.320 --> 0:56:51.919
<v Speaker 1>one of the issues is that. And again a lot

0:56:51.960 --> 0:56:54.520
<v Speaker 1>of things, as we were just saying, it's been taught

0:56:54.640 --> 0:56:58.160
<v Speaker 1>over time. So one of the things that we learned, um,

0:56:58.200 --> 0:57:03.200
<v Speaker 1>as black women or as men, is that it's mommy's baby, daddy's.

0:57:03.280 --> 0:57:07.319
<v Speaker 1>Maybe that was a saying that you would hear as

0:57:07.360 --> 0:57:09.800
<v Speaker 1>people were trying to encourage you as a young girl

0:57:10.160 --> 0:57:13.840
<v Speaker 1>not to get pregnant. It's mommy's baby. Daddy's maybe, but

0:57:14.000 --> 0:57:16.640
<v Speaker 1>that statement. But I thought the statement was about we

0:57:16.680 --> 0:57:19.960
<v Speaker 1>don't know if it's the demands baby. That statement or

0:57:19.960 --> 0:57:21.840
<v Speaker 1>at least the way that it was given to me,

0:57:22.680 --> 0:57:26.360
<v Speaker 1>it was about, you have no choice but to take

0:57:26.400 --> 0:57:30.280
<v Speaker 1>care of your child, and you hope the dad will

0:57:30.320 --> 0:57:33.640
<v Speaker 1>be present, but it's possible that he may or may

0:57:33.680 --> 0:57:37.760
<v Speaker 1>not be there. For me, it was, look, you don't

0:57:37.800 --> 0:57:40.160
<v Speaker 1>know who she even sleeping with, and you better go

0:57:40.240 --> 0:57:45.120
<v Speaker 1>get your blood test to make sure. From the male

0:57:45.200 --> 0:57:48.000
<v Speaker 1>perspective to the female perspective. But I know for us,

0:57:48.360 --> 0:57:51.680
<v Speaker 1>we definitely learned you stuck with this child, and the

0:57:51.680 --> 0:57:54.080
<v Speaker 1>baby's going to live with you. The father can come

0:57:54.120 --> 0:57:56.080
<v Speaker 1>and go, he can do whatever he chooses. But I

0:57:56.080 --> 0:57:59.240
<v Speaker 1>think that's I think that's that's that's a two pronged

0:57:59.280 --> 0:58:05.919
<v Speaker 1>situation because legally the mother is the primary I can't

0:58:05.960 --> 0:58:08.040
<v Speaker 1>take of the child. Legal like, you have to go

0:58:08.120 --> 0:58:11.400
<v Speaker 1>through processes for you to have the same rights as

0:58:11.440 --> 0:58:14.360
<v Speaker 1>the mother all the time. It's not if you if

0:58:14.400 --> 0:58:16.920
<v Speaker 1>a child is living in the mother's home, right, if

0:58:16.920 --> 0:58:19.439
<v Speaker 1>both of y'all living in the same place, you can't

0:58:19.480 --> 0:58:22.680
<v Speaker 1>just take the child. No. But well, but so first

0:58:22.680 --> 0:58:26.640
<v Speaker 1>of all, there are there are provisions in place or

0:58:26.880 --> 0:58:30.640
<v Speaker 1>laws in place on both sides, because also the mother

0:58:30.760 --> 0:58:33.120
<v Speaker 1>cannot take the child out of state and just move

0:58:33.400 --> 0:58:35.520
<v Speaker 1>without out of state, but she can take it to

0:58:35.600 --> 0:58:38.720
<v Speaker 1>somewhere else, and she's the primary chip. If you take

0:58:38.960 --> 0:58:40.720
<v Speaker 1>as a father, you're both living in the same house,

0:58:40.720 --> 0:58:42.720
<v Speaker 1>and you take the child and you go to the way,

0:58:42.720 --> 0:58:46.160
<v Speaker 1>they're bringing that child back to his mother. Well that's

0:58:46.440 --> 0:58:52.560
<v Speaker 1>probably true, but they're still court proceedings that will take place.

0:58:52.600 --> 0:58:55.000
<v Speaker 1>So for instance, I have a friend who I'm very

0:58:55.000 --> 0:58:58.800
<v Speaker 1>close to, and recently that happened. Her nine year old

0:58:58.880 --> 0:59:02.480
<v Speaker 1>daughter went to her father's house and decided that she

0:59:02.600 --> 0:59:05.320
<v Speaker 1>wasn't going home because she's They got into it and

0:59:05.360 --> 0:59:08.400
<v Speaker 1>she was like, I'm staying with my father. Well when uh,

0:59:08.880 --> 0:59:10.720
<v Speaker 1>you know, her mother got the police and went to

0:59:10.800 --> 0:59:13.200
<v Speaker 1>his house to get him get her back because he

0:59:13.280 --> 0:59:16.200
<v Speaker 1>wasn't willing to send her back, and a c S

0:59:16.240 --> 0:59:19.160
<v Speaker 1>got involved and said, well, we can't just remove her

0:59:19.240 --> 0:59:21.880
<v Speaker 1>from her father's home because her mother did not have

0:59:21.960 --> 0:59:26.160
<v Speaker 1>any paperwork that says that she is the prominent or

0:59:26.200 --> 0:59:30.880
<v Speaker 1>the dominant parent, not dominant, but the main parent, primary parent,

0:59:31.000 --> 0:59:34.080
<v Speaker 1>that's the word. Um, she didn't have that paperwork, so

0:59:34.160 --> 0:59:37.520
<v Speaker 1>now they need an investigation to figure out is the

0:59:37.600 --> 0:59:40.440
<v Speaker 1>child being harmed, this and that and now that little

0:59:40.480 --> 0:59:45.800
<v Speaker 1>thing that happened. Unfortunately, has the child protective services in

0:59:46.000 --> 0:59:49.240
<v Speaker 1>both homes on a regular basis over the fact that

0:59:49.280 --> 0:59:51.280
<v Speaker 1>the mother and the nine year old got into it.

0:59:51.840 --> 0:59:55.680
<v Speaker 1>So it's the system. The lines get very blurred. But yes,

0:59:55.960 --> 0:59:58.440
<v Speaker 1>the mother does birth the child, and therefore there's a

0:59:58.440 --> 1:00:02.439
<v Speaker 1>lot of responsibility and also expectations placed on the mother.

1:00:02.840 --> 1:00:05.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying that because of the way it's framed

1:00:05.280 --> 1:00:07.479
<v Speaker 1>in the world, because you know, sometimes you put things

1:00:07.480 --> 1:00:10.360
<v Speaker 1>in the air in the universe and it sticks, and

1:00:10.400 --> 1:00:13.520
<v Speaker 1>I think that there has been because it's so difficult

1:00:13.800 --> 1:00:17.680
<v Speaker 1>to raise a child. It's stuck somewhere along the line

1:00:17.960 --> 1:00:21.400
<v Speaker 1>that the father is like, maybe you know, you can

1:00:21.480 --> 1:00:23.920
<v Speaker 1>be there, but you can also go off and do

1:00:23.960 --> 1:00:26.160
<v Speaker 1>whatever else you need to do in your life, and

1:00:26.200 --> 1:00:28.200
<v Speaker 1>maybe you come, maybe you don't. And I think that's

1:00:28.240 --> 1:00:32.880
<v Speaker 1>shifting because people are understanding that their children need both parents.

1:00:32.920 --> 1:00:37.000
<v Speaker 1>There is no way that balance of two parents is

1:00:37.280 --> 1:00:39.680
<v Speaker 1>very critical, and it's not just two parents. You actually

1:00:39.720 --> 1:00:43.680
<v Speaker 1>need two parents, grandparents on It takes a whole village

1:00:44.160 --> 1:00:47.040
<v Speaker 1>to raise one child, so it's good to see daddish,

1:00:47.120 --> 1:00:49.880
<v Speaker 1>It's good to see men thrive. I love these types

1:00:49.920 --> 1:00:52.360
<v Speaker 1>of shows when we bring the brothers into the space

1:00:52.400 --> 1:00:56.120
<v Speaker 1>because we always have powerful black women, but they are

1:00:56.200 --> 1:01:00.439
<v Speaker 1>also great black men out there doing IMpower the whole

1:01:00.800 --> 1:01:05.840
<v Speaker 1>things as well. That's right. So that concludes our episode.

1:01:06.760 --> 1:01:11.040
<v Speaker 1>Great episode celebrating fatherhood. Happy belated Father's Day to all

1:01:11.080 --> 1:01:14.000
<v Speaker 1>the fathers out there. If you have a child, you

1:01:14.320 --> 1:01:17.280
<v Speaker 1>deserve to be celebrated. Hopefully you got more than the card.

1:01:17.600 --> 1:01:20.560
<v Speaker 1>Maybe somebody cooked you something. Probably maybe you got a

1:01:20.640 --> 1:01:24.080
<v Speaker 1>little more than socks. Come on, woman, step up, gives

1:01:24.440 --> 1:01:26.600
<v Speaker 1>his Father's Day. Look, I want all the types of

1:01:27.000 --> 1:01:30.840
<v Speaker 1>gifts and jewelry and trips and all this stuff. Act

1:01:30.880 --> 1:01:33.320
<v Speaker 1>like Father's Day really exists. Were tired of getting the

1:01:33.400 --> 1:01:37.160
<v Speaker 1>same old card that you wiped off from last year

1:01:38.320 --> 1:01:44.320
<v Speaker 1>and you put the new you say, they do we

1:01:44.320 --> 1:01:46.960
<v Speaker 1>want more than a hug. We were more than a

1:01:47.080 --> 1:01:50.760
<v Speaker 1>hug for you know, for Father's Day. Starts stepping up,

1:01:50.800 --> 1:01:54.400
<v Speaker 1>Step up, step your Father's Day. You know, thing up

1:01:54.560 --> 1:01:58.880
<v Speaker 1>so we appreciate your game. Father's Day game, step your

1:01:58.880 --> 1:02:02.440
<v Speaker 1>Father's Day game all the way up. Salute you dads.

1:02:02.480 --> 1:02:05.480
<v Speaker 1>We love you. We appreciate you. Continue to be great,

1:02:06.120 --> 1:02:09.080
<v Speaker 1>and once again, I'm not gonna always be right, but

1:02:09.160 --> 1:02:12.200
<v Speaker 1>I am now because today's probably day and we're gonna

1:02:12.200 --> 1:02:15.720
<v Speaker 1>celebrate Father's Day. So fathers are right and Tamika is

1:02:15.720 --> 1:02:20.600
<v Speaker 1>not gonna always be wrong, but we will both always

1:02:20.640 --> 1:02:25.040
<v Speaker 1>be right. Thanks for the Street Politicians, the number one,

1:02:25.160 --> 1:02:32.720
<v Speaker 1>number one podcast. Appreciate your number one Subscribe, Subscribe, subscribe, suscribe,

1:02:33.000 --> 1:02:36.040
<v Speaker 1>hit hit the light button. That's how we owned it.