Speaker 1: I had a very severe problem with alcohol, and then
Speaker 1: when I saw that in them, when I was desperate
Speaker 1: to help one of my children, it ruptured our relationship
Speaker 1: because I was butting in, interfering, you know, and insisting,
Speaker 1: and I went so far as to do I guess
Speaker 1: the unthinkable, you know, I went to the authorities.
Speaker 2: What was that experience? Like fuse?
Speaker 1: It was devastating, you know, it just it just ruptured
Speaker 1: our relationship.
Speaker 2: In this special Father's Day episode of My Legacy, host
Speaker 2: Martin Luther King the Third Aren'trea Waters, King, Mark Kilberger,
Speaker 2: and Craig Kilberger are sharing some of the best lessons
Speaker 2: from their favorite dads. Shark Tank Mogul Damon John on
Speaker 2: the one question to ask your kids every night. CNN's
Speaker 2: doctor Sanja Gupta on raising teens in a digital world.
Speaker 2: Martin Luther King the Third takes us inside the King home,
Speaker 2: sharing lessons doctor King modeled as a dad, and the
Speaker 2: best advice comedian and Any Winner Larry Wilmore gave his
Speaker 2: kids first up. Beloved actor Martin Sheen on how to
Speaker 2: show up even when it hurts.
Speaker 3: So, Martin, you've raised four children, what do you hope
Speaker 3: your children and grandchildren remember most about you.
Speaker 1: You know, you have children as well, and you know
Speaker 1: you can't love one more than the other, but you
Speaker 1: love them all differently and because of their needs and you.
Speaker 1: My greatest hope is that they will love each other
Speaker 1: when we're gone, when Jane and I are gone their mother,
Speaker 1: you know, Jana, and for that, you know, we have
Speaker 1: grandchildren and great grandchildren now. But I see the love,
Speaker 1: I see the commitment they have to, you know, a
Speaker 1: moral frame of reference. None of them are Catholic, because
Speaker 1: I didn't raise my kids Catholic, you know. But I
Speaker 1: see a sense of their humanity and their best of all, well,
Speaker 1: a reflection of who they are is in their sense
Speaker 1: of humor, and in their sense of humor with me,
Speaker 1: you know, they they take great pleasure, you know, to
Speaker 1: get under my skin, you know, with my ego, with
Speaker 1: like you know, I can imagine pouring the water in
Speaker 1: your dad's ear and then fleeing. Well, they poured a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff in my ear too, And I wasn't
Speaker 1: as non violent as your dad. But you know they
Speaker 1: rub you the wrong way. But your children, they are
Speaker 1: the very they are reflection of the very best and
Speaker 1: the very worst part of us. I remember somebody was once,
Speaker 1: some famous person was asked what they would like to
Speaker 1: be remembered for, and he said for about five minutes.
Speaker 1: And I think that's okay. And you know the old
Speaker 1: phrase heat that has offspring giveth hostages to the future.
Speaker 1: You know, we do we it's it's an active faith,
Speaker 1: it's an act of hope.
Speaker 4: What would you say, is the most difficult time that
Speaker 4: you've had as a parent?
Speaker 1: Uh, dealing with my own addiction. I'm being vulnerable and
Speaker 1: they seeing me vulnerable and my image crumbled. And then
Speaker 1: when I saw that in them?
Speaker 5: And what was that addiction to you?
Speaker 6: For those who don't know you as well?
Speaker 1: And how did you over my addiction?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Alcohol, Yeah, I had a very severe problem with alcohol.
Speaker 7: And how did you overcome that?
Speaker 1: I overcome a visis I think I mentioned about. I
Speaker 1: came back to the Catholic faith and I realized gradually,
Speaker 1: and you know that that that that this was a
Speaker 1: source of nourishment and grace that I could use to
Speaker 1: let it go and I and I did. And then
Speaker 1: a friend of mine who was in the AA the
Speaker 1: twelve step program, when I was desperate to help one
Speaker 1: of my children who had a severe problem. He said,
Speaker 1: you should, you should get in the program. I said,
Speaker 1: when I'm sober. He said, doesn't matter. You've got to
Speaker 1: learn the skills.
Speaker 2: And how did you use that to help your child?
Speaker 1: I wasn't able to because he had no formal teaching
Speaker 1: in the faith or any faith, you know, but he
Speaker 1: had a very generous and a very vulnerable spirit. So
Speaker 1: I knew that he would not refuse me. But I
Speaker 1: had to take that step.
Speaker 8: Assuming this is Charlie, Yeah, and what was that experience
Speaker 8: like bonding as well?
Speaker 1: It didn't start out as bonding. It ruptured our relationship
Speaker 1: because I was budding in interfering, you know, in insisting
Speaker 1: that he acted a certain way. But I think my
Speaker 1: persistence had a lot to do with it. I didn't
Speaker 1: lay him off the hook, and I went so far
Speaker 1: as to do I guess the unthinkable, you know. I
Speaker 1: went to the authorities and said, uh, you know, I
Speaker 1: know this guy and he's he's uh, he's abusing his
Speaker 1: uh his uh probation.
Speaker 8: What was that experience like few?
Speaker 1: It was devastating because he he you know, it just
Speaker 1: it just ruptured our relationship.
Speaker 7: And where's your relationship now?
Speaker 1: It's like I don't know anyone like him. You know.
Speaker 1: I go to mass you know, every every weekend, and
Speaker 1: so he will call and say something about, well, we
Speaker 1: got to get I said, well, I have to get
Speaker 1: to the Oh you're still into that. Oh well, lots
Speaker 1: of luck with that, you know. But he when he
Speaker 1: clowns about it. And yet I know that what he's
Speaker 1: really doing is he he wants to see it in action.
Speaker 1: He wants to see it in me. I'm the only
Speaker 1: one that he's going to find that in, you know,
Speaker 1: on a regular basis. And the fact that I've kept
Speaker 1: it up for the last forty years means something to him.
Speaker 1: So I know what he's doing. You know, he wants
Speaker 1: me to prove it. In some sense, you can't prove
Speaker 1: your faith, but you live it.
Speaker 9: What do you love most about him?
Speaker 1: His vulnerability. He was so vulnerable, and he was so
Speaker 1: he was so aware of people's needs. You know, I
Speaker 1: never saw him unkind to a person need, whether it
Speaker 1: was a fan or somebody on the set or a
Speaker 1: homeless person. His compassion, he was an inspiration. He just
Speaker 1: I would just stand back and say, Jesus, my son,
Speaker 1: look how extraordinary he is. I'm eighty four years old now,
Speaker 1: and I'm often asked you I think about death, and
Speaker 1: I respond, of course, I think about it every day.
Speaker 1: I think I've got a shorter future than I have
Speaker 1: a longer passed. I get less frightened of it, although
Speaker 1: I'm not looking forward to it, but I have to
Speaker 1: include it in every breath, because you know, these days
Speaker 1: we live in very, very vicarious and peculiar times. To
Speaker 1: say the least. I love Richard ROR's comment he said
Speaker 1: that we don't go to heaven, we become heaven. My
Speaker 1: greatest fear is a sudden and unprovided departure, you know.
Speaker 1: So that I didn't get a chance to tell someone
Speaker 1: that I loved, how much I loved, how grateful I was,
Speaker 1: and to those that I refused to love that I'm
Speaker 1: sorry that I didn't and it was my loss. And
Speaker 1: will you forgive me. I hope that I have time
Speaker 1: to do that.
Speaker 7: Since we're talking about your father and nonviolence, I wondered
Speaker 7: if you could share, since I've never got to ask
Speaker 7: you this anything about what you learned from him personally
Speaker 7: about nonviolence? How do we teach nonviolence and live nonviolence?
Speaker 7: And it seems to me sometimes your dad had it
Speaker 7: in his DNA to be gentle. For me, it's kind
Speaker 7: of a struggle, and I gave it. A National Convention
Speaker 7: on nonviolence a couple of years ago. I brought Jim
Speaker 7: Lawson in and I said, I want you to talk
Speaker 7: about doctor King's nonviolence. And he goes, John doesn't know nonviolence.
Speaker 7: If Martin were here, he'd say, nonviolence is power. We're
Speaker 7: not powerless. We have the power through nonviolence to change
Speaker 7: the world through love and truth. I'm thinking of that
Speaker 7: time you were marching with your father and you held
Speaker 7: his hand I read in a book and you felt
Speaker 7: the peace that he knew. Can you tell me what
Speaker 7: you learned from your dad about nonviolence?
Speaker 3: Well, I think first of all, what was learned was
Speaker 3: this has to be a way of life, a commitment.
Speaker 3: You can't practice it one day. Except for that time
Speaker 3: where he became angry with us because we poured water
Speaker 3: in his ears, his children, and so he was That's
Speaker 3: the only time I really ever saw him angry. He
Speaker 3: didn't get he didn't quite whip us, but he was
Speaker 3: on the way.
Speaker 1: What you have to I never heard that tell us.
Speaker 7: You have to tell us that, because you're saying you
Speaker 7: never saw him no otherwise.
Speaker 3: I never remember seeing him angry. I always saw him
Speaker 3: he was always very measured and disciplined. And I think
Speaker 3: that's what in a relationship to nonviolence. It has to
Speaker 3: be a discipline because we are human beings. We're going
Speaker 3: to be upset, be angry. And as I said, now,
Speaker 3: he was asleep and he was exhausted. And because our experience,
Speaker 3: you were well, yeah, I guess that the way. We
Speaker 3: didn't see it that way at the time, but our
Speaker 3: experience was whenever Dad came home, his entire attention was
Speaker 3: devoted to were fulfilling us as his children. So it
Speaker 3: was like I got to play with them. And this
Speaker 3: is looking back thinking about it, because I'm gone all
Speaker 3: the time and I don't have a large quantity of time,
Speaker 3: but the quality of time I want to use to
Speaker 3: fulfill my kids. So we wanted to play and he
Speaker 3: was asleep. So somebody, it wasn't me, but somebody with
Speaker 3: a smart idea, let's pour water in Dad's ear. And
Speaker 3: then that was not a good experience.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 3: It was frightening because of course we did that and
Speaker 3: ran and he ran after us. He didn't whip us,
Speaker 3: he didn't catch us.
Speaker 1: That day.
Speaker 3: I qualified that day.
Speaker 10: But the rest of the time he was no he
Speaker 10: was he was always measured and always the same kind
Speaker 10: of love that he provided for us as a father,
Speaker 10: although it was a father.
Speaker 3: Son for the daughter relationship, he provided to everything.
Speaker 7: That's the one time in your eleven years you saw
Speaker 7: him get even like upset. He was gentle non violence. Yes,
Speaker 7: he was practicing what he preached right, and I think
Speaker 7: that's what the movement needs today. We all have to
Speaker 7: reach doctor King's level of non violence.
Speaker 3: I think yes, ideally, but I also think there's a
Speaker 3: practical and real side of human beings and it doesn't
Speaker 3: mean we can't get there. We have to always aspire.
Speaker 3: Just like you know we talk about a perfect union, Well,
Speaker 3: we're never going to be perfect, but we can always
Speaker 3: aspire to that.
Speaker 2: Up next, Foolboo founder Shark Tank mogul Damon John shares
Speaker 2: the question he asks his daughter every night and why
Speaker 2: failure is a lesson not a loss, and doctor Sanje
Speaker 2: Gupta share smart, real life tips for parenting in a
Speaker 2: digital world.
Speaker 4: Now back to my legacy, Damn.
Speaker 11: So many people shared with us how excited they were
Speaker 11: the opportunity to hear from you partially because you've inspired
Speaker 11: so many people who want to follow in your footsteps. Now,
Speaker 11: one thing I don't know if you want to always realizes,
Speaker 11: was your journey wasn't linear, It wasn't always easy. And
Speaker 11: one thing I love how you've been relating to people
Speaker 11: by being very open about how when you were younger
Speaker 11: you hadeslexia. School was not an easy pathway. It was
Speaker 11: a bit of an unconventional journey in high school. Can
Speaker 11: you take us back to that so that people see
Speaker 11: today this billion dollar success, but they don't always understand
Speaker 11: the origin story.
Speaker 12: I mean, the origin is, you know, I think it's
Speaker 12: an American dream.
Speaker 6: I think that it is.
Speaker 12: You know, I was less fortunate than many and I
Speaker 12: was way more fortunate than most of the people on
Speaker 12: the planet. I had a house, and I had clean
Speaker 12: drinking water, right so, and I had access to food
Speaker 12: and electricity. But you know, we only know what we
Speaker 12: come from. It came from, you know, a place that
Speaker 12: was riddle like most of the you know, American communities
Speaker 12: riddle with crack, and most of my friends became drug dealers.
Speaker 6: Side.
Speaker 12: That's not a path that I wanted, but I was dyslexic.
Speaker 12: Eight of the twelve Sharks are actually dyslexic child.
Speaker 11: I almost wanted people to share that on social media
Speaker 11: for the family.
Speaker 12: That's why it. Branson is dyslexic, Barber's alexic, Kevin's a lexic,
Speaker 12: I believe Rohans aslexic, and there and because of dyslexic,
Speaker 12: I've got the other three. So you know. So I
Speaker 12: didn't do well in school, like I left back in
Speaker 12: the seventh grade. I didn't go to college, but I
Speaker 12: applied myself and started working. But I did realize I
Speaker 12: was hanging out as well because I grew up in Hollis,
Speaker 12: Queens and almost majority of at that time, a lot
Speaker 12: of the famous rappers came from their local Jay Salt
Speaker 12: and Pepper's Trip, Coal Quest and all that I was on.
Speaker 12: I was on these big tours since I was fourteen
Speaker 12: years old. I became too cool for school. But then
Speaker 12: I turned around. I was laughing at the kids who
Speaker 12: were going to college in school. I laughed at all
Speaker 12: the band geeks as they call it, and the nerds. Well,
Speaker 12: those band geeks became people like doctors and Timblin right
Speaker 12: in Pharrell, and the nerds became Zuckerberg and Baso. I
Speaker 12: remember I was working at Red Lobster right around twenty
Speaker 12: one years old. All those kids I was laughing at,
Speaker 12: not that I knew Zuckerbergery of those people. And I'm
Speaker 12: just using an example. I remember all those kids that
Speaker 12: I laughed at that were going to college investing in
Speaker 12: their future. Well they were coming back now and I
Speaker 12: was in Red Lobster serving them shrimp, and I was like, well,
Speaker 12: I'm the idiot. And I started to double down and
Speaker 12: try to get any form of education I could. I
Speaker 12: would and being dyslexic challenge, but I would read a
Speaker 12: book a week, I would find mentors, I would go
Speaker 12: and apply and do a lot of different things. I
Speaker 12: was reading the sales sheets at Red Lobster finding out
Speaker 12: how this large corporation was making money. Well, they needed
Speaker 12: help back a year ago, but they were making money
Speaker 12: back then. And then I started to invest in things
Speaker 12: I love to do, which was this fashion and I
Speaker 12: used what I call the power broke. I realized that
Speaker 12: you know the sixty five percent a lot of winners
Speaker 12: and athletes that broke three years after leaving the league
Speaker 12: because they don't know how to use the tool of money.
Speaker 12: And another sixty or seventy percent of Forbes wealthy. This
Speaker 12: one thousand people are self made men and women. That's
Speaker 12: like the men and women in this room and listening
Speaker 12: to this podcast. So obviously, money is just a tool.
Speaker 12: And I started to use what was around me as
Speaker 12: normal angres. Well, I knew rappers, why don't you wear that?
Speaker 12: You know, while I knew this, why don't you do that?
Speaker 12: And it slowly grew. I had a lot of challenges.
Speaker 12: I started food within eighty nine. I closed it three
Speaker 12: times from eighty nine to ninety two because I ran
Speaker 12: out of money. I found my beautiful three partners who
Speaker 12: believed in me. After that, now there were ten people
Speaker 12: who believed in me, most of them didn't stay around.
Speaker 12: Was those three that believed in me. And then by
Speaker 12: nineteen ninety nineteen ninety eight, I was doing three hundred
Speaker 12: and fifty million dollars a year. Now, that's a long story.
Speaker 12: I started in eighty nine. In nineteen ninety eight, I
Speaker 12: started to make I started get public recognition after failing
Speaker 12: three times. But you know, that's the American dream. That's
Speaker 12: why when we look at you know, people like me
Speaker 12: and all of us on Shark Tank, we all went
Speaker 12: through that process.
Speaker 4: Have you failed since then? I failed?
Speaker 12: I try to fail every day when I talk to
Speaker 12: my daughter all night when we go to bed, When
Speaker 12: she goes to bed, she's eight years old, I tell
Speaker 12: her how daddy failed that day and how Daddy succeeded.
Speaker 12: And I asked her how will she fail? And how
Speaker 12: did she fail that day? They maybe I planned on
Speaker 12: doing this and I didn't get to this, and I
Speaker 12: was late for a meeting. And you should never be
Speaker 12: late because when you're late, you make the other person
Speaker 12: feel like they're not of value, and whatever the case is.
Speaker 12: So she gets used to understanding that failure is a
Speaker 12: part of the process and that it comes along with successes.
Speaker 5: Santra, your work has touched countless people. Millions are inspired
Speaker 5: by your message. But I've heard you say when we
Speaker 5: had dinner that at the heart of all you do,
Speaker 5: the heart of your purpose, is your three daughters. So
Speaker 5: how is being a dad affected how you think of
Speaker 5: purpose and legacy?
Speaker 6: Not only a dad, but a girl dad, teenage girl dad.
Speaker 8: It doesn't make him reach out to boys a little
Speaker 8: bit like, hey guys.
Speaker 6: No, it's a it's a it's a it's a great question.
Speaker 6: And then again, I'll just say this is what's so
Speaker 6: nice about these conversations, because I think life moves so
Speaker 6: fast you don't often reflect on on that sort of thing.
Speaker 6: It's just my life. I'm a teenage girl dad, and
Speaker 6: so the idea of how it changed me, I don't know.
Speaker 6: I don't know what to compare it to. I don't
Speaker 6: know what I would have been like had I not
Speaker 6: done this, but I will. I will say this. It
Speaker 6: feels very natural. I feel like there's there's times when
Speaker 6: I've said to Rebecca, I feel like I manifested my
Speaker 6: destiny in a way that this was how it was
Speaker 6: supposed to unfold. So that's a good feeling, as opposed
Speaker 6: to feeling out of sorts or like something doesn't work
Speaker 6: or belong. I'll be honest. I think a lot of
Speaker 6: people think about their legacy, and I think that's important
Speaker 6: to the extent that it drives them to do good
Speaker 6: things in the world. But to think about yourself in
Speaker 6: retrospect generations down the line, who knows. We live in
Speaker 6: a really flimsy world, and people's attitudes and beliefs, soystems
Speaker 6: and all these things change. So all that to say
Speaker 6: we don't think about legacy in a conventional sense that way,
Speaker 6: except when it comes to our girls, they are the legacy.
Speaker 6: That's it.
Speaker 3: What do you love most being a girl?
Speaker 7: Dad?
Speaker 6: What?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 7: What gets you up in the morning?
Speaker 5: Having that wonderful title.
Speaker 6: They they challenge me in a in a tell.
Speaker 4: Us, tell us, tell us what you know? I think.
Speaker 5: I think when you're understand this.
Speaker 6: When you're a neuroscientist, I think part of what drives
Speaker 6: you is that you're you're consistently trying to find logic
Speaker 6: in the world, and there are things that are just
Speaker 6: they defy logic, and you have to get comfortable with that.
Speaker 6: You know, you have to get comfortable with the uncertainty.
Speaker 6: So you know, the idea of walking down in the
Speaker 6: kitchen in the morning and never really knowing for sure
Speaker 6: it's it's it's it's wonderful if you lean into it. Yes,
Speaker 6: you know, if it scares you, then you know you
Speaker 6: got to readjust but you get.
Speaker 5: A Mark got two daughters asking very personally, and we've
Speaker 5: got one amazing daughter here among the King family as well.
Speaker 4: Sonjay. On your podcast Chasing Life, you've explored the effects
Speaker 4: of social media on kids, even going as far as
Speaker 4: interviewing your daughters, who you call the real experts. How
Speaker 4: do you and Rebecca help them navigate a healthy balance
Speaker 4: between social media and real world connections.
Speaker 6: I will tell you one thing that I found interesting, though,
Speaker 6: is that they did this camp over the summer where
Speaker 6: there was no phones allowed, and it was a couple
Speaker 6: of weeks.
Speaker 8: Right, Yeah, They always did that every summer, and.
Speaker 6: They come back super happy, super happy from this. And
Speaker 6: I made the observation that, hey, you know this thing
Speaker 6: that you are using all the time, you didn't use
Speaker 6: it at all, and you're super happy. And my youngest,
Speaker 6: who's I think a very wise child, she said to me,
Speaker 6: she said, you know, it's called social media. And I said,
Speaker 6: I get it. She goes, I was totally social. I
Speaker 6: had all these people in my own age. I was
Speaker 6: with them all the time. I was interacting in a
Speaker 6: social wad. That's what I'm really trying to do. But
Speaker 6: in the United States, many households have become more siloed off,
Speaker 6: and so having that type of village social interaction, all
Speaker 6: the kids playing together in the in the street, you know,
Speaker 6: or in the playground whatever, you know, that you don't
Speaker 6: see that as much. So this is is it is
Speaker 6: filled a gap for them. It's there's problems, you know,
Speaker 6: and I think you know, the devices are designed to
Speaker 6: be addictive in a way, but it does at the
Speaker 6: same time serve a purpose that I think is very
Speaker 6: human evolutionarily, Like they want to be together. If they
Speaker 6: can't be together physically, then they want to be together
Speaker 6: virtually digitally, and.
Speaker 4: That feels different to them, I think than to us.
Speaker 4: I mean, since they were raised with it, and you know,
Speaker 4: we're just like you all, like we're trying to balance
Speaker 4: between the two because just taking it away, it's not
Speaker 4: they won't be prepared. They're not prepared for digital world,
Speaker 4: and they are using it also sometimes in a way
Speaker 4: that is connection. And I do think for for us,
Speaker 4: connection is all physical. But perhaps since our kids are
Speaker 4: being you know, they're nurtured in the digital world. You know,
Speaker 4: part of their connection is social, like you know, like digitally.
Speaker 8: And you'll notice a big difference when they start driving,
Speaker 8: because then they can go and be social where that
Speaker 8: is such a huge difference in our society too, Like
Speaker 8: it's when it becomes the parent's responsibility to get them
Speaker 8: here and get them there, they spend less time. It's
Speaker 8: we're controlling it too much, and so they spend less time,
Speaker 8: like I said, having those study groups or doing those things.
Speaker 8: And when they do have that autonomy to like go
Speaker 8: out meet a front for coffee and go over you know,
Speaker 8: history or something, they start doing it, and the and
Speaker 8: the phone and the social media becomes less and less
Speaker 8: and less.
Speaker 4: I'm smiling at my husband across the table. We're seeing
Speaker 4: that already.
Speaker 8: Literally suddenly you're like, wow, well, I mean, because we
Speaker 8: have all this technology, then tells us how much time
Speaker 8: our kids are off social media. And we look at
Speaker 8: our daughter who's in college and now she's living with
Speaker 8: her so rority sisters, that kind of stuff, and she's
Speaker 8: rarely ever on it, and she used to be our
Speaker 8: biggest person on it. So it's a social thing.
Speaker 6: I'll tell you three quick things that she came up with.
Speaker 6: Rebecca came up with as far as if people are
Speaker 6: thinking about social media for their kids. One is that
Speaker 6: we made an agreement that we actually could have access
Speaker 6: to their accounts, so kind of the ability to lurk. Now,
Speaker 6: we didn't really do it much, but they knew that
Speaker 6: we could. Number two was and every now and then
Speaker 6: we would peek in to see what was going on.
Speaker 6: Number two was that no friends online that you couldn't
Speaker 6: touch in the real world. I want to be able
Speaker 6: to touch that person physically or is this somebody who's
Speaker 6: totally made up?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 6: And the third thing, which Rebecca mentioned is that your
Speaker 6: technology allows you to monitor screen time, so you can
Speaker 6: get indicators that there's too much screen time being used
Speaker 6: on Snapchat or Instagram. And it can even cut off
Speaker 6: after a certain amount of time. So you know those
Speaker 6: three things. Again, it's a brave new world for everybody
Speaker 6: when it comes to this, but I think they've worked
Speaker 6: well for our three teenage girls.
Speaker 8: Yeah, we did have a cut off at a certain
Speaker 8: time at night and turn back on at a certain
Speaker 8: time in the morning. Yeah, because sleep is really important exactly,
Speaker 8: and it is hard when they're up studying or need
Speaker 8: to get the you know, lost that paper or something
Speaker 8: that they want to reach out. I think technology and
Speaker 8: social media is not going to go away. It's learning
Speaker 8: how to make it work for you and thinking about
Speaker 8: what is the main reason that it is in their lives,
Speaker 8: and then how do you work around that.
Speaker 2: Know, someone who's searching for a little inspiration or joy
Speaker 2: right now, send us their way and hit that subscribe
Speaker 2: or follow buttons so we can continue to bring you
Speaker 2: these heartfelt conversations and unforgettable lessons. More from this Best
Speaker 2: of My Legacy episode right after the break.
Speaker 4: Now back to My Legacy now, Larry, who our origin
Speaker 4: story is so important to all of us and who
Speaker 4: raised us had a phenomenal impact, good, bad, or indifferent. Now,
Speaker 4: you grew up the middle child of six kids in California,
Speaker 4: but your family has roots in the Midwest. Yes, and
Speaker 4: so I'm really curious. I'm sure our listeners are who
Speaker 4: would you consider the most influential person of your childhood?
Speaker 13: Of course, you know, my parents very influential in different ways.
Speaker 13: You know, my parents got divorced when I was young,
Speaker 13: but I was able to get different things from both parents,
Speaker 13: sometimes in different ways.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 13: My mom went through a lot, you know, she really
Speaker 13: dealt with a lot of emotional issues, but there was
Speaker 13: a strength about her and a resilience about her that
Speaker 13: I really admired, you know, even going through it. And
Speaker 13: my dad was a person who it seemed like he
Speaker 13: just kept his own ideas about himself when he was
Speaker 13: out in the world, like the world didn't affect him,
Speaker 13: and he was a civil servant.
Speaker 7: He worked.
Speaker 13: He was a probation officer at a time, and it
Speaker 13: wasn't easy for black people who you know, working those
Speaker 13: kinds of jobs. But he always had a sense of
Speaker 13: humor about it, and I always admired the way he
Speaker 13: treated people. I also grew up at a time when
Speaker 13: your neighborhood kind of raised you. Our next door neighbors
Speaker 13: were very important to raising us. We called them Bebie
Speaker 13: and Uncle Henry were their names. There were an older
Speaker 13: couple from Texas had all that homespun old school like
Speaker 13: knowledge and everything like she made peach jam and candid.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 13: It was that type of growing up, and we all
Speaker 13: had fruit trees in our backyards. But the last part
Speaker 13: of it was I was so lucky. I had influential
Speaker 13: teachers who at certain points in my life were just
Speaker 13: there at the right time. And there was a thread
Speaker 13: through some of my most important teachers. They always appreciated individuality, uniqueness,
Speaker 13: it's okay to be different, you know. And one of
Speaker 13: the biggest ones of that, I'll say briefly, was my
Speaker 13: seventh grade teacher. He and his wife are from Peru.
Speaker 13: I went to Catholic school. They were the late teachers there,
Speaker 13: and he saw that I was like making jokes and
Speaker 13: stuff like during school, me and my friends, and he
Speaker 13: came to me and said, he said, Okay, Larry, here's
Speaker 13: the thing. I'm gonna make a deal with you. After lunch,
Speaker 13: there's like fifteen minutes when I'm trying to get everybody's
Speaker 13: attention and all that stuff. You can have that as
Speaker 13: joke time, okay, and you could get up and do
Speaker 13: whatever you went in front of the class. And I
Speaker 13: was like, Okay, that sounds fantastic. He says, but in return,
Speaker 13: I don't want to hear a peep out of you
Speaker 13: for the rest of the day.
Speaker 8: And I'm like, you're done.
Speaker 13: That's the fantastic deal.
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 13: And he was so influential In fact, I remember he
Speaker 13: gave us a math question that he said, nobody can
Speaker 13: figure this out. If you do, I'll make I'll cook
Speaker 13: you a steak dinner. Of course, my brain wentn't stop.
Speaker 13: I figured it out, and sure enough he and his
Speaker 13: wife invited me into their home cooked me and steak dinner.
Speaker 13: I'll never forget that teacher was so influential in how
Speaker 13: he dealt with students and inspired us he used to
Speaker 13: play the guitar every day in class. It's just great,
Speaker 13: mister and missus Rebello. Yeah, they were awesome, just the
Speaker 13: best teachers ever. So teachers, family, you know, and neighbors
Speaker 13: and neighbors.
Speaker 4: And now, Lauren, how did you see the values your
Speaker 4: dad grew up with influence the way that he parented
Speaker 4: you and your brother?
Speaker 9: You know, it's so interesting When he was saying teachers
Speaker 9: and family, I was like, that is such a theme
Speaker 9: in my life so many people. First of all, many
Speaker 9: people in my family are teachers on both sides. And
Speaker 9: I'm an actor, but my day job is teaching Mandarin
Speaker 9: to kids. And I also have so many teachers that
Speaker 9: have influenced me. Yeah, beside Bard.
Speaker 13: And a quick dad, like she also teaches French. That's
Speaker 13: just a quick dad.
Speaker 9: But I have so many teachers that have influenced me
Speaker 9: as well. And part of what inspired me to become
Speaker 9: a teacher was knowing how much your life can change
Speaker 9: from one good teacher who sees you and values you
Speaker 9: and helps nudge you along your path. And also the
Speaker 9: importance of family, especially since twenty twenty, like we've all
Speaker 9: just been really clinging on to our family the past
Speaker 9: five years, and we've lost a lot of family members,
Speaker 9: but it has really brought all of us closer and
Speaker 9: we've just really been finding as many ways as possible
Speaker 9: to just like support each other and all of that
Speaker 9: throughout this time. So, yeah, those two You happen to
Speaker 9: mention those two values, and I think those are big
Speaker 9: themes in my life.
Speaker 4: That apple didn't fall far from the tree.
Speaker 3: So, Lauren, your dad's known for certainly sharp humor and
Speaker 3: ability to challenge perspectives through comedy. He certainly is a
Speaker 3: big deal in Hollywood. What what's something you and your
Speaker 3: brother maybe tease him about that reminds you that he's
Speaker 3: just dad.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 9: It's so funny because I was thinking about this and
Speaker 9: I was like, what don't we tease him about? But
Speaker 9: also what doesn't he tease us about? You know that,
Speaker 9: Like it's a lot of mutual teasing in our household.
Speaker 9: There's just always this back and forth of silliness and goofiness.
Speaker 9: And I think one thing that and feel free if
Speaker 9: you think of anything dad. But a lot of times
Speaker 9: if he does a joke that I feel like goes
Speaker 9: a little too far, I'll give him two thumbs and
Speaker 9: He's always like, whoa, oh, no, two thumbs down. I
Speaker 9: feel he'd probably use it anyway. But that's a fun
Speaker 9: little thing that I do. But I don't know, can
Speaker 9: you think of anything?
Speaker 10: Lauren?
Speaker 13: Is great because I can see how far I'm being
Speaker 13: provocative thumb thumbs up or thumbs downs. You know, when
Speaker 13: I get two thumbs down, I'm like, oh, I'm touching
Speaker 13: a nerve here.
Speaker 3: So, Lauren, you know you've watched your dad navigate Hollywood
Speaker 3: and said he taught you a lot about resilience. What
Speaker 3: is one of the most important pieces of vice that
Speaker 3: he's given you in terms of.
Speaker 9: Navigating I think this just for life, not even just
Speaker 9: for you know, being in the in show business. But
Speaker 9: he always said to John and I, you don't have
Speaker 9: to be the best, you have to be your best.
Speaker 9: And that stuck with me because I am a recovering perfectionist,
Speaker 9: and you know, like just knowing that it wasn't and
Speaker 9: that kind of takes off the energy of competition as
Speaker 9: well of having to beat other people out for something,
Speaker 9: but just focusing on living up to your potential and
Speaker 9: shining your light as opposed to trying to dim someone
Speaker 9: else's so that you can get to the top. I
Speaker 9: mean that applies to just everything ever in life, but
Speaker 9: certainly in show business. And I've really come to understand
Speaker 9: that more the past couple of years that I've been
Speaker 9: here in New York and finding my community here and
Speaker 9: my friends, and we're all just constantly lifting each other
Speaker 9: up because that's the only way to you know, that's
Speaker 9: the only way to live. You can't be always trying
Speaker 9: to push other people down. And so I really appreciated that,
Speaker 9: and that I always knew that from both of my parents.
Speaker 9: It wasn't about getting a certain grade or a certain thing.
Speaker 9: It was just well, did you work hard, did you
Speaker 9: try your best? Okay, well, there you go. That's it.
Speaker 4: Thanks for joining us for this best of episode of
Speaker 4: My Legacy. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss
Speaker 4: an episode.