1 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 1: I had a very severe problem with alcohol, and then 2 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 1: when I saw that in them, when I was desperate 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:15,400 Speaker 1: to help one of my children, it ruptured our relationship 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: because I was butting in, interfering, you know, and insisting, 5 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and I went so far as to do I guess 6 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 1: the unthinkable, you know, I went to the authorities. 7 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 2: What was that experience? Like fuse? 8 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: It was devastating, you know, it just it just ruptured 9 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 1: our relationship. 10 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 2: In this special Father's Day episode of My Legacy, host 11 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 2: Martin Luther King the Third Aren'trea Waters, King, Mark Kilberger, 12 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,559 Speaker 2: and Craig Kilberger are sharing some of the best lessons 13 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:49,519 Speaker 2: from their favorite dads. Shark Tank Mogul Damon John on 14 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 2: the one question to ask your kids every night. CNN's 15 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 2: doctor Sanja Gupta on raising teens in a digital world. 16 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 2: Martin Luther King the Third takes us inside the King home, 17 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 2: sharing lessons doctor King modeled as a dad, and the 18 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 2: best advice comedian and Any Winner Larry Wilmore gave his 19 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,959 Speaker 2: kids first up. Beloved actor Martin Sheen on how to 20 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,759 Speaker 2: show up even when it hurts. 21 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 3: So, Martin, you've raised four children, what do you hope 22 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 3: your children and grandchildren remember most about you. 23 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 1: You know, you have children as well, and you know 24 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: you can't love one more than the other, but you 25 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: love them all differently and because of their needs and you. 26 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: My greatest hope is that they will love each other 27 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:40,120 Speaker 1: when we're gone, when Jane and I are gone their mother, 28 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: you know, Jana, and for that, you know, we have 29 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: grandchildren and great grandchildren now. But I see the love, 30 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: I see the commitment they have to, you know, a 31 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: moral frame of reference. None of them are Catholic, because 32 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 1: I didn't raise my kids Catholic, you know. But I 33 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:09,639 Speaker 1: see a sense of their humanity and their best of all, well, 34 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: a reflection of who they are is in their sense 35 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: of humor, and in their sense of humor with me, 36 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:19,239 Speaker 1: you know, they they take great pleasure, you know, to 37 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 1: get under my skin, you know, with my ego, with 38 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,519 Speaker 1: like you know, I can imagine pouring the water in 39 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: your dad's ear and then fleeing. Well, they poured a 40 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 1: lot of stuff in my ear too, And I wasn't 41 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,800 Speaker 1: as non violent as your dad. But you know they 42 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 1: rub you the wrong way. But your children, they are 43 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 1: the very they are reflection of the very best and 44 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: the very worst part of us. I remember somebody was once, 45 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: some famous person was asked what they would like to 46 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: be remembered for, and he said for about five minutes. 47 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:58,799 Speaker 1: And I think that's okay. And you know the old 48 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 1: phrase heat that has offspring giveth hostages to the future. 49 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 1: You know, we do we it's it's an active faith, 50 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: it's an act of hope. 51 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,960 Speaker 4: What would you say, is the most difficult time that 52 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 4: you've had as a parent? 53 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 1: Uh, dealing with my own addiction. I'm being vulnerable and 54 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:28,839 Speaker 1: they seeing me vulnerable and my image crumbled. And then 55 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,079 Speaker 1: when I saw that in them? 56 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 5: And what was that addiction to you? 57 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 6: For those who don't know you as well? 58 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 1: And how did you over my addiction? 59 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 4: Yes? 60 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 1: Alcohol, Yeah, I had a very severe problem with alcohol. 61 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 7: And how did you overcome that? 62 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:48,000 Speaker 1: I overcome a visis I think I mentioned about. I 63 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: came back to the Catholic faith and I realized gradually, 64 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: and you know that that that that this was a 65 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: source of nourishment and grace that I could use to 66 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: let it go and I and I did. And then 67 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: a friend of mine who was in the AA the 68 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 1: twelve step program, when I was desperate to help one 69 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 1: of my children who had a severe problem. He said, 70 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 1: you should, you should get in the program. I said, 71 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,120 Speaker 1: when I'm sober. He said, doesn't matter. You've got to 72 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 1: learn the skills. 73 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,719 Speaker 2: And how did you use that to help your child? 74 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 1: I wasn't able to because he had no formal teaching 75 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 1: in the faith or any faith, you know, but he 76 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: had a very generous and a very vulnerable spirit. So 77 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 1: I knew that he would not refuse me. But I 78 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:45,160 Speaker 1: had to take that step. 79 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 8: Assuming this is Charlie, Yeah, and what was that experience 80 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 8: like bonding as well? 81 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: It didn't start out as bonding. It ruptured our relationship 82 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: because I was budding in interfering, you know, in insisting 83 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,599 Speaker 1: that he acted a certain way. But I think my 84 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,720 Speaker 1: persistence had a lot to do with it. I didn't 85 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,920 Speaker 1: lay him off the hook, and I went so far 86 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:13,240 Speaker 1: as to do I guess the unthinkable, you know. I 87 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: went to the authorities and said, uh, you know, I 88 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: know this guy and he's he's uh, he's abusing his 89 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: uh his uh probation. 90 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:24,720 Speaker 8: What was that experience like few? 91 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 1: It was devastating because he he you know, it just 92 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 1: it just ruptured our relationship. 93 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,159 Speaker 7: And where's your relationship now? 94 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:38,720 Speaker 1: It's like I don't know anyone like him. You know. 95 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,359 Speaker 1: I go to mass you know, every every weekend, and 96 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 1: so he will call and say something about, well, we 97 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,160 Speaker 1: got to get I said, well, I have to get 98 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 1: to the Oh you're still into that. Oh well, lots 99 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,720 Speaker 1: of luck with that, you know. But he when he 100 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 1: clowns about it. And yet I know that what he's 101 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 1: really doing is he he wants to see it in action. 102 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,600 Speaker 1: He wants to see it in me. I'm the only 103 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,360 Speaker 1: one that he's going to find that in, you know, 104 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: on a regular basis. And the fact that I've kept 105 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,800 Speaker 1: it up for the last forty years means something to him. 106 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 1: So I know what he's doing. You know, he wants 107 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: me to prove it. In some sense, you can't prove 108 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: your faith, but you live it. 109 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 9: What do you love most about him? 110 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 1: His vulnerability. He was so vulnerable, and he was so 111 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: he was so aware of people's needs. You know, I 112 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: never saw him unkind to a person need, whether it 113 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 1: was a fan or somebody on the set or a 114 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 1: homeless person. His compassion, he was an inspiration. He just 115 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:50,360 Speaker 1: I would just stand back and say, Jesus, my son, 116 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: look how extraordinary he is. I'm eighty four years old now, 117 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: and I'm often asked you I think about death, and 118 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,680 Speaker 1: I respond, of course, I think about it every day. 119 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: I think I've got a shorter future than I have 120 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 1: a longer passed. I get less frightened of it, although 121 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 1: I'm not looking forward to it, but I have to 122 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:15,000 Speaker 1: include it in every breath, because you know, these days 123 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 1: we live in very, very vicarious and peculiar times. To 124 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:25,440 Speaker 1: say the least. I love Richard ROR's comment he said 125 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 1: that we don't go to heaven, we become heaven. My 126 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:33,080 Speaker 1: greatest fear is a sudden and unprovided departure, you know. 127 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: So that I didn't get a chance to tell someone 128 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 1: that I loved, how much I loved, how grateful I was, 129 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 1: and to those that I refused to love that I'm 130 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 1: sorry that I didn't and it was my loss. And 131 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,280 Speaker 1: will you forgive me. I hope that I have time 132 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: to do that. 133 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 7: Since we're talking about your father and nonviolence, I wondered 134 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 7: if you could share, since I've never got to ask 135 00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 7: you this anything about what you learned from him personally 136 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 7: about nonviolence? How do we teach nonviolence and live nonviolence? 137 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 7: And it seems to me sometimes your dad had it 138 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 7: in his DNA to be gentle. For me, it's kind 139 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 7: of a struggle, and I gave it. A National Convention 140 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 7: on nonviolence a couple of years ago. I brought Jim 141 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 7: Lawson in and I said, I want you to talk 142 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:25,440 Speaker 7: about doctor King's nonviolence. And he goes, John doesn't know nonviolence. 143 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 7: If Martin were here, he'd say, nonviolence is power. We're 144 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 7: not powerless. We have the power through nonviolence to change 145 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 7: the world through love and truth. I'm thinking of that 146 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 7: time you were marching with your father and you held 147 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,920 Speaker 7: his hand I read in a book and you felt 148 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 7: the peace that he knew. Can you tell me what 149 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 7: you learned from your dad about nonviolence? 150 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 3: Well, I think first of all, what was learned was 151 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,199 Speaker 3: this has to be a way of life, a commitment. 152 00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:00,440 Speaker 3: You can't practice it one day. Except for that time 153 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 3: where he became angry with us because we poured water 154 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 3: in his ears, his children, and so he was That's 155 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 3: the only time I really ever saw him angry. He 156 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 3: didn't get he didn't quite whip us, but he was 157 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:14,680 Speaker 3: on the way. 158 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 1: What you have to I never heard that tell us. 159 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,680 Speaker 7: You have to tell us that, because you're saying you 160 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,439 Speaker 7: never saw him no otherwise. 161 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 3: I never remember seeing him angry. I always saw him 162 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 3: he was always very measured and disciplined. And I think 163 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 3: that's what in a relationship to nonviolence. It has to 164 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 3: be a discipline because we are human beings. We're going 165 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 3: to be upset, be angry. And as I said, now, 166 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 3: he was asleep and he was exhausted. And because our experience, 167 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 3: you were well, yeah, I guess that the way. We 168 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,280 Speaker 3: didn't see it that way at the time, but our 169 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:59,400 Speaker 3: experience was whenever Dad came home, his entire attention was 170 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,680 Speaker 3: devoted to were fulfilling us as his children. So it 171 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 3: was like I got to play with them. And this 172 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,520 Speaker 3: is looking back thinking about it, because I'm gone all 173 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 3: the time and I don't have a large quantity of time, 174 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,680 Speaker 3: but the quality of time I want to use to 175 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 3: fulfill my kids. So we wanted to play and he 176 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:22,439 Speaker 3: was asleep. So somebody, it wasn't me, but somebody with 177 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 3: a smart idea, let's pour water in Dad's ear. And 178 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,119 Speaker 3: then that was not a good experience. 179 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 1: It was. 180 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,079 Speaker 3: It was frightening because of course we did that and 181 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:37,280 Speaker 3: ran and he ran after us. He didn't whip us, 182 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 3: he didn't catch us. 183 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 1: That day. 184 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 3: I qualified that day. 185 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 10: But the rest of the time he was no he 186 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 10: was he was always measured and always the same kind 187 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 10: of love that he provided for us as a father, 188 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:52,839 Speaker 10: although it was a father. 189 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 3: Son for the daughter relationship, he provided to everything. 190 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 7: That's the one time in your eleven years you saw 191 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:04,720 Speaker 7: him get even like upset. He was gentle non violence. Yes, 192 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 7: he was practicing what he preached right, and I think 193 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 7: that's what the movement needs today. We all have to 194 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,880 Speaker 7: reach doctor King's level of non violence. 195 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 3: I think yes, ideally, but I also think there's a 196 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:22,040 Speaker 3: practical and real side of human beings and it doesn't 197 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:25,199 Speaker 3: mean we can't get there. We have to always aspire. 198 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:29,320 Speaker 3: Just like you know we talk about a perfect union, Well, 199 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 3: we're never going to be perfect, but we can always 200 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:33,080 Speaker 3: aspire to that. 201 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 2: Up next, Foolboo founder Shark Tank mogul Damon John shares 202 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,960 Speaker 2: the question he asks his daughter every night and why 203 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 2: failure is a lesson not a loss, and doctor Sanje 204 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,840 Speaker 2: Gupta share smart, real life tips for parenting in a 205 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:48,680 Speaker 2: digital world. 206 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 4: Now back to my legacy, Damn. 207 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,839 Speaker 11: So many people shared with us how excited they were 208 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:04,040 Speaker 11: the opportunity to hear from you partially because you've inspired 209 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 11: so many people who want to follow in your footsteps. Now, 210 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,560 Speaker 11: one thing I don't know if you want to always realizes, 211 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 11: was your journey wasn't linear, It wasn't always easy. And 212 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 11: one thing I love how you've been relating to people 213 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,679 Speaker 11: by being very open about how when you were younger 214 00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 11: you hadeslexia. School was not an easy pathway. It was 215 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:22,559 Speaker 11: a bit of an unconventional journey in high school. Can 216 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 11: you take us back to that so that people see 217 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,240 Speaker 11: today this billion dollar success, but they don't always understand 218 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:28,959 Speaker 11: the origin story. 219 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 12: I mean, the origin is, you know, I think it's 220 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 12: an American dream. 221 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 6: I think that it is. 222 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 12: You know, I was less fortunate than many and I 223 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,680 Speaker 12: was way more fortunate than most of the people on 224 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 12: the planet. I had a house, and I had clean 225 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:46,080 Speaker 12: drinking water, right so, and I had access to food 226 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:49,960 Speaker 12: and electricity. But you know, we only know what we 227 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 12: come from. It came from, you know, a place that 228 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,960 Speaker 12: was riddle like most of the you know, American communities 229 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:59,080 Speaker 12: riddle with crack, and most of my friends became drug dealers. 230 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 6: Side. 231 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 12: That's not a path that I wanted, but I was dyslexic. 232 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 12: Eight of the twelve Sharks are actually dyslexic child. 233 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,080 Speaker 11: I almost wanted people to share that on social media 234 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:10,680 Speaker 11: for the family. 235 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:15,320 Speaker 12: That's why it. Branson is dyslexic, Barber's alexic, Kevin's a lexic, 236 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,080 Speaker 12: I believe Rohans aslexic, and there and because of dyslexic, 237 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 12: I've got the other three. So you know. So I 238 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 12: didn't do well in school, like I left back in 239 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 12: the seventh grade. I didn't go to college, but I 240 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 12: applied myself and started working. But I did realize I 241 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:34,559 Speaker 12: was hanging out as well because I grew up in Hollis, 242 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 12: Queens and almost majority of at that time, a lot 243 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,720 Speaker 12: of the famous rappers came from their local Jay Salt 244 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,800 Speaker 12: and Pepper's Trip, Coal Quest and all that I was on. 245 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 12: I was on these big tours since I was fourteen 246 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:49,440 Speaker 12: years old. I became too cool for school. But then 247 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,679 Speaker 12: I turned around. I was laughing at the kids who 248 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 12: were going to college in school. I laughed at all 249 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 12: the band geeks as they call it, and the nerds. Well, 250 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 12: those band geeks became people like doctors and Timblin right 251 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 12: in Pharrell, and the nerds became Zuckerberg and Baso. I 252 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 12: remember I was working at Red Lobster right around twenty 253 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 12: one years old. All those kids I was laughing at, 254 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 12: not that I knew Zuckerbergery of those people. And I'm 255 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 12: just using an example. I remember all those kids that 256 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,680 Speaker 12: I laughed at that were going to college investing in 257 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 12: their future. Well they were coming back now and I 258 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 12: was in Red Lobster serving them shrimp, and I was like, well, 259 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 12: I'm the idiot. And I started to double down and 260 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 12: try to get any form of education I could. I 261 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 12: would and being dyslexic challenge, but I would read a 262 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 12: book a week, I would find mentors, I would go 263 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 12: and apply and do a lot of different things. I 264 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,720 Speaker 12: was reading the sales sheets at Red Lobster finding out 265 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 12: how this large corporation was making money. Well, they needed 266 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 12: help back a year ago, but they were making money 267 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:49,120 Speaker 12: back then. And then I started to invest in things 268 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 12: I love to do, which was this fashion and I 269 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 12: used what I call the power broke. I realized that 270 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 12: you know the sixty five percent a lot of winners 271 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 12: and athletes that broke three years after leaving the league 272 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 12: because they don't know how to use the tool of money. 273 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 12: And another sixty or seventy percent of Forbes wealthy. This 274 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 12: one thousand people are self made men and women. That's 275 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 12: like the men and women in this room and listening 276 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 12: to this podcast. So obviously, money is just a tool. 277 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 12: And I started to use what was around me as 278 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 12: normal angres. Well, I knew rappers, why don't you wear that? 279 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,200 Speaker 12: You know, while I knew this, why don't you do that? 280 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,880 Speaker 12: And it slowly grew. I had a lot of challenges. 281 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 12: I started food within eighty nine. I closed it three 282 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 12: times from eighty nine to ninety two because I ran 283 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 12: out of money. I found my beautiful three partners who 284 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 12: believed in me. After that, now there were ten people 285 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 12: who believed in me, most of them didn't stay around. 286 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,800 Speaker 12: Was those three that believed in me. And then by 287 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 12: nineteen ninety nineteen ninety eight, I was doing three hundred 288 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 12: and fifty million dollars a year. Now, that's a long story. 289 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 12: I started in eighty nine. In nineteen ninety eight, I 290 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,800 Speaker 12: started to make I started get public recognition after failing 291 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 12: three times. But you know, that's the American dream. That's 292 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 12: why when we look at you know, people like me 293 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 12: and all of us on Shark Tank, we all went 294 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 12: through that process. 295 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 4: Have you failed since then? I failed? 296 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 12: I try to fail every day when I talk to 297 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 12: my daughter all night when we go to bed, When 298 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,360 Speaker 12: she goes to bed, she's eight years old, I tell 299 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,640 Speaker 12: her how daddy failed that day and how Daddy succeeded. 300 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,520 Speaker 12: And I asked her how will she fail? And how 301 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,840 Speaker 12: did she fail that day? They maybe I planned on 302 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 12: doing this and I didn't get to this, and I 303 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,240 Speaker 12: was late for a meeting. And you should never be 304 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 12: late because when you're late, you make the other person 305 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,960 Speaker 12: feel like they're not of value, and whatever the case is. 306 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,360 Speaker 12: So she gets used to understanding that failure is a 307 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:35,479 Speaker 12: part of the process and that it comes along with successes. 308 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:41,360 Speaker 5: Santra, your work has touched countless people. Millions are inspired 309 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 5: by your message. But I've heard you say when we 310 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,600 Speaker 5: had dinner that at the heart of all you do, 311 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,920 Speaker 5: the heart of your purpose, is your three daughters. So 312 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 5: how is being a dad affected how you think of 313 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 5: purpose and legacy? 314 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 6: Not only a dad, but a girl dad, teenage girl dad. 315 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 8: It doesn't make him reach out to boys a little 316 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 8: bit like, hey guys. 317 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,720 Speaker 6: No, it's a it's a it's a it's a great question. 318 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,480 Speaker 6: And then again, I'll just say this is what's so 319 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 6: nice about these conversations, because I think life moves so 320 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:14,120 Speaker 6: fast you don't often reflect on on that sort of thing. 321 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 6: It's just my life. I'm a teenage girl dad, and 322 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,720 Speaker 6: so the idea of how it changed me, I don't know. 323 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,280 Speaker 6: I don't know what to compare it to. I don't 324 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,719 Speaker 6: know what I would have been like had I not 325 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:24,520 Speaker 6: done this, but I will. I will say this. It 326 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:28,359 Speaker 6: feels very natural. I feel like there's there's times when 327 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:30,720 Speaker 6: I've said to Rebecca, I feel like I manifested my 328 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,440 Speaker 6: destiny in a way that this was how it was 329 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:36,159 Speaker 6: supposed to unfold. So that's a good feeling, as opposed 330 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 6: to feeling out of sorts or like something doesn't work 331 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 6: or belong. I'll be honest. I think a lot of 332 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:46,119 Speaker 6: people think about their legacy, and I think that's important 333 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:47,960 Speaker 6: to the extent that it drives them to do good 334 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 6: things in the world. But to think about yourself in 335 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 6: retrospect generations down the line, who knows. We live in 336 00:17:55,920 --> 00:18:00,359 Speaker 6: a really flimsy world, and people's attitudes and beliefs, soystems 337 00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 6: and all these things change. So all that to say 338 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:05,600 Speaker 6: we don't think about legacy in a conventional sense that way, 339 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,200 Speaker 6: except when it comes to our girls, they are the legacy. 340 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 6: That's it. 341 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 3: What do you love most being a girl? 342 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 7: Dad? 343 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:13,080 Speaker 6: What? 344 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:13,399 Speaker 4: What? 345 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:14,439 Speaker 7: What gets you up in the morning? 346 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 5: Having that wonderful title. 347 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 6: They they challenge me in a in a tell. 348 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,360 Speaker 4: Us, tell us, tell us what you know? I think. 349 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 5: I think when you're understand this. 350 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,679 Speaker 6: When you're a neuroscientist, I think part of what drives 351 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,240 Speaker 6: you is that you're you're consistently trying to find logic 352 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:35,280 Speaker 6: in the world, and there are things that are just 353 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 6: they defy logic, and you have to get comfortable with that. 354 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 6: You know, you have to get comfortable with the uncertainty. 355 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,359 Speaker 6: So you know, the idea of walking down in the 356 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,040 Speaker 6: kitchen in the morning and never really knowing for sure 357 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,800 Speaker 6: it's it's it's it's wonderful if you lean into it. Yes, 358 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 6: you know, if it scares you, then you know you 359 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 6: got to readjust but you get. 360 00:18:55,760 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 5: A Mark got two daughters asking very personally, and we've 361 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 5: got one amazing daughter here among the King family as well. 362 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 4: Sonjay. On your podcast Chasing Life, you've explored the effects 363 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:13,360 Speaker 4: of social media on kids, even going as far as 364 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 4: interviewing your daughters, who you call the real experts. How 365 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 4: do you and Rebecca help them navigate a healthy balance 366 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:24,800 Speaker 4: between social media and real world connections. 367 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,440 Speaker 6: I will tell you one thing that I found interesting, though, 368 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 6: is that they did this camp over the summer where 369 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 6: there was no phones allowed, and it was a couple 370 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:33,680 Speaker 6: of weeks. 371 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,520 Speaker 8: Right, Yeah, They always did that every summer, and. 372 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,399 Speaker 6: They come back super happy, super happy from this. And 373 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,280 Speaker 6: I made the observation that, hey, you know this thing 374 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,639 Speaker 6: that you are using all the time, you didn't use 375 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 6: it at all, and you're super happy. And my youngest, 376 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 6: who's I think a very wise child, she said to me, 377 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,200 Speaker 6: she said, you know, it's called social media. And I said, 378 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,440 Speaker 6: I get it. She goes, I was totally social. I 379 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,119 Speaker 6: had all these people in my own age. I was 380 00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,000 Speaker 6: with them all the time. I was interacting in a 381 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 6: social wad. That's what I'm really trying to do. But 382 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 6: in the United States, many households have become more siloed off, 383 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:09,199 Speaker 6: and so having that type of village social interaction, all 384 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 6: the kids playing together in the in the street, you know, 385 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,960 Speaker 6: or in the playground whatever, you know, that you don't 386 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,320 Speaker 6: see that as much. So this is is it is 387 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,399 Speaker 6: filled a gap for them. It's there's problems, you know, 388 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 6: and I think you know, the devices are designed to 389 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,159 Speaker 6: be addictive in a way, but it does at the 390 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,359 Speaker 6: same time serve a purpose that I think is very 391 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 6: human evolutionarily, Like they want to be together. If they 392 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,399 Speaker 6: can't be together physically, then they want to be together 393 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 6: virtually digitally, and. 394 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 4: That feels different to them, I think than to us. 395 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,600 Speaker 4: I mean, since they were raised with it, and you know, 396 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,680 Speaker 4: we're just like you all, like we're trying to balance 397 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,879 Speaker 4: between the two because just taking it away, it's not 398 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,800 Speaker 4: they won't be prepared. They're not prepared for digital world, 399 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,520 Speaker 4: and they are using it also sometimes in a way 400 00:20:56,680 --> 00:21:00,400 Speaker 4: that is connection. And I do think for for us, 401 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:04,720 Speaker 4: connection is all physical. But perhaps since our kids are 402 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,960 Speaker 4: being you know, they're nurtured in the digital world. You know, 403 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:13,199 Speaker 4: part of their connection is social, like you know, like digitally. 404 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,120 Speaker 8: And you'll notice a big difference when they start driving, 405 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 8: because then they can go and be social where that 406 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:23,239 Speaker 8: is such a huge difference in our society too, Like 407 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,119 Speaker 8: it's when it becomes the parent's responsibility to get them 408 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:30,120 Speaker 8: here and get them there, they spend less time. It's 409 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,200 Speaker 8: we're controlling it too much, and so they spend less time, 410 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 8: like I said, having those study groups or doing those things. 411 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 8: And when they do have that autonomy to like go 412 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,680 Speaker 8: out meet a front for coffee and go over you know, 413 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 8: history or something, they start doing it, and the and 414 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,720 Speaker 8: the phone and the social media becomes less and less 415 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 8: and less. 416 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 4: I'm smiling at my husband across the table. We're seeing 417 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,040 Speaker 4: that already. 418 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 8: Literally suddenly you're like, wow, well, I mean, because we 419 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 8: have all this technology, then tells us how much time 420 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,439 Speaker 8: our kids are off social media. And we look at 421 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:09,760 Speaker 8: our daughter who's in college and now she's living with 422 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,720 Speaker 8: her so rority sisters, that kind of stuff, and she's 423 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 8: rarely ever on it, and she used to be our 424 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,520 Speaker 8: biggest person on it. So it's a social thing. 425 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 6: I'll tell you three quick things that she came up with. 426 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 6: Rebecca came up with as far as if people are 427 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,360 Speaker 6: thinking about social media for their kids. One is that 428 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,959 Speaker 6: we made an agreement that we actually could have access 429 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:33,320 Speaker 6: to their accounts, so kind of the ability to lurk. Now, 430 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 6: we didn't really do it much, but they knew that 431 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 6: we could. Number two was and every now and then 432 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 6: we would peek in to see what was going on. 433 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,880 Speaker 6: Number two was that no friends online that you couldn't 434 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,680 Speaker 6: touch in the real world. I want to be able 435 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 6: to touch that person physically or is this somebody who's 436 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:50,600 Speaker 6: totally made up? 437 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:50,800 Speaker 4: Right? 438 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,679 Speaker 6: And the third thing, which Rebecca mentioned is that your 439 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:58,880 Speaker 6: technology allows you to monitor screen time, so you can 440 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 6: get indicators that there's too much screen time being used 441 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 6: on Snapchat or Instagram. And it can even cut off 442 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 6: after a certain amount of time. So you know those 443 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,880 Speaker 6: three things. Again, it's a brave new world for everybody 444 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,880 Speaker 6: when it comes to this, but I think they've worked 445 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:14,359 Speaker 6: well for our three teenage girls. 446 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,280 Speaker 8: Yeah, we did have a cut off at a certain 447 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 8: time at night and turn back on at a certain 448 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 8: time in the morning. Yeah, because sleep is really important exactly, 449 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 8: and it is hard when they're up studying or need 450 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:29,199 Speaker 8: to get the you know, lost that paper or something 451 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 8: that they want to reach out. I think technology and 452 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,159 Speaker 8: social media is not going to go away. It's learning 453 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,920 Speaker 8: how to make it work for you and thinking about 454 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 8: what is the main reason that it is in their lives, 455 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:46,639 Speaker 8: and then how do you work around that. 456 00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:51,160 Speaker 2: Know, someone who's searching for a little inspiration or joy 457 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,119 Speaker 2: right now, send us their way and hit that subscribe 458 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 2: or follow buttons so we can continue to bring you 459 00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 2: these heartfelt conversations and unforgettable lessons. More from this Best 460 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,919 Speaker 2: of My Legacy episode right after the break. 461 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,679 Speaker 4: Now back to My Legacy now, Larry, who our origin 462 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,960 Speaker 4: story is so important to all of us and who 463 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 4: raised us had a phenomenal impact, good, bad, or indifferent. Now, 464 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:24,919 Speaker 4: you grew up the middle child of six kids in California, 465 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 4: but your family has roots in the Midwest. Yes, and 466 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,560 Speaker 4: so I'm really curious. I'm sure our listeners are who 467 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,959 Speaker 4: would you consider the most influential person of your childhood? 468 00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:41,119 Speaker 13: Of course, you know, my parents very influential in different ways. 469 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,520 Speaker 13: You know, my parents got divorced when I was young, 470 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:48,600 Speaker 13: but I was able to get different things from both parents, 471 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,360 Speaker 13: sometimes in different ways. 472 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 6: You know. 473 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,880 Speaker 13: My mom went through a lot, you know, she really 474 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,240 Speaker 13: dealt with a lot of emotional issues, but there was 475 00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:00,080 Speaker 13: a strength about her and a resilience about her that 476 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 13: I really admired, you know, even going through it. And 477 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,919 Speaker 13: my dad was a person who it seemed like he 478 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:12,560 Speaker 13: just kept his own ideas about himself when he was 479 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,679 Speaker 13: out in the world, like the world didn't affect him, 480 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 13: and he was a civil servant. 481 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 7: He worked. 482 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 13: He was a probation officer at a time, and it 483 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 13: wasn't easy for black people who you know, working those 484 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,399 Speaker 13: kinds of jobs. But he always had a sense of 485 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:24,919 Speaker 13: humor about it, and I always admired the way he 486 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,920 Speaker 13: treated people. I also grew up at a time when 487 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 13: your neighborhood kind of raised you. Our next door neighbors 488 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,879 Speaker 13: were very important to raising us. We called them Bebie 489 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,920 Speaker 13: and Uncle Henry were their names. There were an older 490 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 13: couple from Texas had all that homespun old school like 491 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,360 Speaker 13: knowledge and everything like she made peach jam and candid. 492 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 7: You know. 493 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:44,680 Speaker 13: It was that type of growing up, and we all 494 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:48,359 Speaker 13: had fruit trees in our backyards. But the last part 495 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,200 Speaker 13: of it was I was so lucky. I had influential 496 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,320 Speaker 13: teachers who at certain points in my life were just 497 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,680 Speaker 13: there at the right time. And there was a thread 498 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:02,600 Speaker 13: through some of my most important teachers. They always appreciated individuality, uniqueness, 499 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:06,360 Speaker 13: it's okay to be different, you know. And one of 500 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,679 Speaker 13: the biggest ones of that, I'll say briefly, was my 501 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,320 Speaker 13: seventh grade teacher. He and his wife are from Peru. 502 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,760 Speaker 13: I went to Catholic school. They were the late teachers there, 503 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,440 Speaker 13: and he saw that I was like making jokes and 504 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,159 Speaker 13: stuff like during school, me and my friends, and he 505 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 13: came to me and said, he said, Okay, Larry, here's 506 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 13: the thing. I'm gonna make a deal with you. After lunch, 507 00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 13: there's like fifteen minutes when I'm trying to get everybody's 508 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,880 Speaker 13: attention and all that stuff. You can have that as 509 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,320 Speaker 13: joke time, okay, and you could get up and do 510 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,320 Speaker 13: whatever you went in front of the class. And I 511 00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:39,479 Speaker 13: was like, Okay, that sounds fantastic. He says, but in return, 512 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:40,840 Speaker 13: I don't want to hear a peep out of you 513 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:41,479 Speaker 13: for the rest of the day. 514 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:42,640 Speaker 8: And I'm like, you're done. 515 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,160 Speaker 13: That's the fantastic deal. 516 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:45,919 Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? 517 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,439 Speaker 13: And he was so influential In fact, I remember he 518 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,760 Speaker 13: gave us a math question that he said, nobody can 519 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 13: figure this out. If you do, I'll make I'll cook 520 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,880 Speaker 13: you a steak dinner. Of course, my brain wentn't stop. 521 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 13: I figured it out, and sure enough he and his 522 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,359 Speaker 13: wife invited me into their home cooked me and steak dinner. 523 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,560 Speaker 13: I'll never forget that teacher was so influential in how 524 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,720 Speaker 13: he dealt with students and inspired us he used to 525 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,200 Speaker 13: play the guitar every day in class. It's just great, 526 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 13: mister and missus Rebello. Yeah, they were awesome, just the 527 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:18,360 Speaker 13: best teachers ever. So teachers, family, you know, and neighbors 528 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 13: and neighbors. 529 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:23,200 Speaker 4: And now, Lauren, how did you see the values your 530 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:26,919 Speaker 4: dad grew up with influence the way that he parented 531 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 4: you and your brother? 532 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 9: You know, it's so interesting When he was saying teachers 533 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,760 Speaker 9: and family, I was like, that is such a theme 534 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,440 Speaker 9: in my life so many people. First of all, many 535 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:40,120 Speaker 9: people in my family are teachers on both sides. And 536 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,880 Speaker 9: I'm an actor, but my day job is teaching Mandarin 537 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,280 Speaker 9: to kids. And I also have so many teachers that 538 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 9: have influenced me. Yeah, beside Bard. 539 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,880 Speaker 13: And a quick dad, like she also teaches French. That's 540 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,040 Speaker 13: just a quick dad. 541 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:01,840 Speaker 9: But I have so many teachers that have influenced me 542 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,000 Speaker 9: as well. And part of what inspired me to become 543 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:09,040 Speaker 9: a teacher was knowing how much your life can change 544 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,919 Speaker 9: from one good teacher who sees you and values you 545 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:17,000 Speaker 9: and helps nudge you along your path. And also the 546 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:22,120 Speaker 9: importance of family, especially since twenty twenty, like we've all 547 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,800 Speaker 9: just been really clinging on to our family the past 548 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,320 Speaker 9: five years, and we've lost a lot of family members, 549 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,959 Speaker 9: but it has really brought all of us closer and 550 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 9: we've just really been finding as many ways as possible 551 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:40,320 Speaker 9: to just like support each other and all of that 552 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,720 Speaker 9: throughout this time. So, yeah, those two You happen to 553 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,680 Speaker 9: mention those two values, and I think those are big 554 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 9: themes in my life. 555 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 4: That apple didn't fall far from the tree. 556 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 3: So, Lauren, your dad's known for certainly sharp humor and 557 00:28:55,960 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 3: ability to challenge perspectives through comedy. He certainly is a 558 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 3: big deal in Hollywood. What what's something you and your 559 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:10,520 Speaker 3: brother maybe tease him about that reminds you that he's 560 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 3: just dad. 561 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 2: You know. 562 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,480 Speaker 9: It's so funny because I was thinking about this and 563 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,880 Speaker 9: I was like, what don't we tease him about? But 564 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,480 Speaker 9: also what doesn't he tease us about? You know that, 565 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:26,000 Speaker 9: Like it's a lot of mutual teasing in our household. 566 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:30,960 Speaker 9: There's just always this back and forth of silliness and goofiness. 567 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 9: And I think one thing that and feel free if 568 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:38,040 Speaker 9: you think of anything dad. But a lot of times 569 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,520 Speaker 9: if he does a joke that I feel like goes 570 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:45,920 Speaker 9: a little too far, I'll give him two thumbs and 571 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,640 Speaker 9: He's always like, whoa, oh, no, two thumbs down. I 572 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,360 Speaker 9: feel he'd probably use it anyway. But that's a fun 573 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 9: little thing that I do. But I don't know, can 574 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:55,120 Speaker 9: you think of anything? 575 00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 10: Lauren? 576 00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 13: Is great because I can see how far I'm being 577 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,760 Speaker 13: provocative thumb thumbs up or thumbs downs. You know, when 578 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:05,920 Speaker 13: I get two thumbs down, I'm like, oh, I'm touching 579 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:06,520 Speaker 13: a nerve here. 580 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 3: So, Lauren, you know you've watched your dad navigate Hollywood 581 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:15,840 Speaker 3: and said he taught you a lot about resilience. What 582 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:20,840 Speaker 3: is one of the most important pieces of vice that 583 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:22,640 Speaker 3: he's given you in terms of. 584 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:27,000 Speaker 9: Navigating I think this just for life, not even just 585 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,040 Speaker 9: for you know, being in the in show business. But 586 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:34,080 Speaker 9: he always said to John and I, you don't have 587 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,920 Speaker 9: to be the best, you have to be your best. 588 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 9: And that stuck with me because I am a recovering perfectionist, 589 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:48,520 Speaker 9: and you know, like just knowing that it wasn't and 590 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:52,720 Speaker 9: that kind of takes off the energy of competition as 591 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,920 Speaker 9: well of having to beat other people out for something, 592 00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:01,240 Speaker 9: but just focusing on living up to your potential and 593 00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 9: shining your light as opposed to trying to dim someone 594 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:06,600 Speaker 9: else's so that you can get to the top. I 595 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:11,120 Speaker 9: mean that applies to just everything ever in life, but 596 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,240 Speaker 9: certainly in show business. And I've really come to understand 597 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,360 Speaker 9: that more the past couple of years that I've been 598 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:20,200 Speaker 9: here in New York and finding my community here and 599 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,680 Speaker 9: my friends, and we're all just constantly lifting each other 600 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,880 Speaker 9: up because that's the only way to you know, that's 601 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:29,360 Speaker 9: the only way to live. You can't be always trying 602 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 9: to push other people down. And so I really appreciated that, 603 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:37,000 Speaker 9: and that I always knew that from both of my parents. 604 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,880 Speaker 9: It wasn't about getting a certain grade or a certain thing. 605 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,240 Speaker 9: It was just well, did you work hard, did you 606 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 9: try your best? Okay, well, there you go. That's it. 607 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,200 Speaker 4: Thanks for joining us for this best of episode of 608 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,200 Speaker 4: My Legacy. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss 609 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:53,720 Speaker 4: an episode.