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Speaker 1: Two hopeless theaters, one dating app.

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Speaker 2: Then there's you swipe right. The question is whose love

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Speaker 2: life is more tragic.

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Speaker 3: It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.

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Speaker 1: It's the dating game show that thinks the little blue

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Speaker 1: pill is for WIMPs? What real men swallow the extra

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Speaker 1: jumbo sized magenta horse pill off the dark web.

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Speaker 3: It's Battle of the Tinder dats Scared, where two of our.

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Speaker 1: Listeners go head to head to find out whose dating

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Speaker 1: life is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules in

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Speaker 1: just a second, but first let's meet today's contestants. In

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Speaker 1: this corner, she treats her dating life like a visit

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Speaker 1: to Sizzler, because she always goes back for seconds and

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Speaker 1: thirds and fourth. That's why they call her buffea Leyah,

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Speaker 1: All right.

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Speaker 3: Lea, you feel that plate girl?

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: And in the other corner, her top five celebrity hall

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Speaker 1: passes are all dead US presidents, and they've got an

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Speaker 1: open invitation to haunt her in her sleep anytime.

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Speaker 3: Botus lois got a thing for white wigs. Oh you

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Speaker 3: like these wooden teeth?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: She is?

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Speaker 3: She getting haunted as we speak. I'm here, okay, right,

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Speaker 3: Here's how the game works.

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Speaker 1: One contestant will start by telling one of their worst

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Speaker 1: dating stories. Then the other will try and counter with

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Speaker 1: the nightmare story of their own. We're gonna go back

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Speaker 1: and forth for three rounds, so we declare a winner.

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Speaker 1: Kicking things off with buffeo lea, let's get it, Okay.

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Speaker 2: I guy asked me to hang out. I had any

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Speaker 2: all appointments, and so he said that he would just

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Speaker 2: meet me there.

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Speaker 3: At the nail salon.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I show up. He's already there and he's

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Speaker 2: like holding court talking to like all these ladies. And

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Speaker 2: then they told me I'm gonna have to wait twenty

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Speaker 2: minutes because he took my appointment.

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Speaker 3: Oh oh my god. That some beautiful fingernails. Yeah, he's

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Speaker 3: ready of the day, I mean for him, Lois, can

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Speaker 3: you counter? Yes?

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Speaker 2: So I had dinner with a guy and when we

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Speaker 2: order drinks, the staff found out his ID was fake.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So basically he is the college kids trying to date

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Speaker 2: older women. Basically I had one, he had Petsy.

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Speaker 1: Wait you still he just couldn't drink his courage.

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Speaker 3: I get that. Now we're on a round too. That

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Speaker 3: means lea back to you.

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Speaker 2: So a guy inviting me to do a birthday party

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Speaker 2: with him.

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Speaker 3: Okay, that's fine.

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Speaker 2: I get there and he doesn't tell me that the

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Speaker 2: birthday party is for his twin five year old son.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I didn't even know that they existed lot

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Speaker 2: alone their birthday party.

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Speaker 1: It's always is good to bring a date that will

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Speaker 1: be in pictures that the kids can remember.

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Speaker 2: Right. So I'm looking all over and I can't find him.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, where is he? At first, I'm like, am

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Speaker 2: I even at the right party? But you say, the

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Speaker 2: clown comes up to me and it's like, hey, it's me.

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Speaker 2: You want to go get freaking in the laundry room?

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Speaker 3: What he.

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Speaker 2: Wasn't a clowns in the laundry room?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: No, no comment, no comments.

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Speaker 1: I was already there.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I might as well.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what they say about cloud feet, right, Lois,

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Speaker 1: you gotta step it up, all right.

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Speaker 2: I had this guy wanted to cook dinner for me

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Speaker 2: at his house, and when I got there, he was

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Speaker 2: cooking in an easy bake oven.

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Speaker 3: Are you dating any adults?

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Speaker 2: I thought he was just joking with me, but he

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Speaker 2: tells me he's been cooking in five hours. Yeah, And

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Speaker 2: when I told him it's not a real oven. He

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Speaker 2: he got upset his friend played a trick on them.

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Speaker 2: Stay like, oh no more, man, this.

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Speaker 3: Is he the most gullible person in the world.

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Speaker 2: Apparently he never cooks, and he said it was it

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Speaker 2: was the better. It was better than a microwave.

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Speaker 3: Those Fisher Price microwaves, they're not very good. Okay, we're

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Speaker 3: on to the third and final round here. That means

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Speaker 3: we need your best stories, Leo, what do you got?

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Speaker 2: Okay? I went out with this guy and he told

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Speaker 2: me that his job was a coin collector, and I

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Speaker 2: didn't really understand what that meant, and honestly I still don't.

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Speaker 3: There's Monty.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I met up with him and he was like,

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Speaker 2: the date can't start officially until we find four pennies.

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, like randomly four pennies around you, like.

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Speaker 3: On the ground. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So we're like walking through the city for forty five

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Speaker 2: in it nothing but there's not even.

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Speaker 3: To take a penny leave anywhere nowhere.

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Speaker 2: And honestly, I just I was so tired and so hungry.

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Speaker 2: I just took some change on my purse and just

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Speaker 2: dropped it.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh my god, look I found and I found

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Speaker 1: a Nickel and I would have maybe just taking money

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Speaker 1: out of my person, bought myself dinner, you know, welcome back.

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Speaker 3: She was hungry that she wasn't thinking straight, thinking straight. Alright, Lois,

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Speaker 3: this is your last chance, all right.

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Speaker 2: I dated my therapist son.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, oh god, that is at the end of

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Speaker 1: the sentence.

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Speaker 3: Oh God, tell me your problem.

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Speaker 2: So I dated my therapist sign and he sent me

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Speaker 2: that he actually read my notes, went my foul.

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Speaker 3: That's nice. He tried to get to know you, ae. Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 1: I did tell him it was a violation of my privacy.

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Speaker 1: He told me I should't.

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Speaker 2: Worry about it, okay, and then he can handle my

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Speaker 2: emotional issues and stuff.

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Speaker 3: What a man, Well, I mean I like a man

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Speaker 3: who like is okay with the baggage?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Ok end That final bell means the match is over. Judges,

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Speaker 1: when you to score an Alexis, who do you think.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go to la for the clown guy?

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 3: I don't mess with clown. One vote for down to clown.

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Speaker 3: I'm going Lois with the bad easy bakeup and dinner.

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Speaker 3: I'll tied up. The final decision is on, Jose. I

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Speaker 3: think I gotta go with Lois and the therapist sun

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Speaker 3: Us Lois in the come from behind victory. You are

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Speaker 3: our champion in Battle of the Tender Days. Yaya, don't cry.

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Speaker 2: Celebrate the rematch. Sorry, Honey's done. It's mine.

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Speaker 3: You keep that crowd. That's Battle of the Tender Dates.

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Speaker 3: We got phone Tap coming up next