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Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. This is a

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Speaker 1: part that me and my bandmates grapple with most of them,

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Speaker 1: not even my bandmates, but danity came but the three

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Speaker 1: bands from making the band that we're all created. We

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Speaker 1: are all in heavy conversation a lot lately. One thing,

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Speaker 1: when to the people I bounce things off from before

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Speaker 1: I speak on topic that topic in general, they don't.

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Speaker 1: They say, what you just said? It was your talent.

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Speaker 1: It was you that had that. And for me, I

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Speaker 1: would have never done anything that I do now if

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Speaker 1: you would have left it up to me and my

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Speaker 1: knowledge and understanding of what I'm good at. He showed

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Speaker 1: told master manipulator and like I said, that's not always

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Speaker 1: a bad thing.

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Speaker 2: Good way Okay.

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Speaker 1: He taught me I was, and then I knew what

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Speaker 1: I was. If you come to me now and say

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Speaker 1: are you a star? I would say yes. They would

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Speaker 1: say are you amazing on television? I would say yes. Okay.

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Speaker 1: If they asked me, do you dance?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Are you a great singer? Yes? And I don't pause,

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Speaker 1: I don't, I don't feel any If they want to

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Speaker 1: come back at me with any commentary, I will come

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Speaker 1: right back at them with commentary, I say it bold,

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Speaker 1: with no fucking apologies. Now, with that being said, I

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Speaker 1: had somewhere along the line to have learned that. And

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Speaker 1: it wasn't my mom and dad, who I don't even

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Speaker 1: have in my life, who didn't protect me or keep

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Speaker 1: me safe during any of the crazy things I've gone through,

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Speaker 1: and we're a part of most of it in my childhood.

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Speaker 1: So I know that that if you were to, if

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Speaker 1: I would have just been left up to my own

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Speaker 1: ideas of what I could be, it wouldn't. I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily be in a place where I could positively, with

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Speaker 1: no quiver in my voice, do everything that I just

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Speaker 1: did with you right there that came from that man.

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Speaker 1: There were some goods that I will not discredit him for.

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Speaker 1: And with puff it's so hard because he's so disliked

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Speaker 1: now that no one feels comfortable with any positive acknowledgment

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Speaker 1: of any part of his existence. And I have a

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Speaker 1: very hard time with that, And the editing on me

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Speaker 1: isn't allowing for it either. And then I sit at

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Speaker 1: home and I watch the scripts that they give me

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Speaker 1: to read or the edits that they give me on shows,

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Speaker 1: and most of them aren't even out yet. They're still

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Speaker 1: going to be coming out all year, And I think

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Speaker 1: to myself and everybody champions me, and then you know,

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Speaker 1: I'll be getting botox and say to the woman I

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Speaker 1: go to, like, hey, it's actually I kind of feel

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Speaker 1: this way and that way, and she would be like, well,

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Speaker 1: you can't say that, and I'd be like no.

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Speaker 2: Regards to what.

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Speaker 1: In regards to I think a lot of evil behavior, demons, devils,

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Speaker 1: whatever you consider of the bad behaving human to be,

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of that is man made. I

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Speaker 1: think there are rare circumstances that you have very bad wiring,

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Speaker 1: and it's just as a genetic situation. I think, like

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Speaker 1: serial killers and things like that. I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: mean now we're learning even with bipolar and things like that,

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Speaker 1: that's something very traumatic had to happen in your childhood

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Speaker 1: to stick your brain into that state. So I tend

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Speaker 1: to have a lot of I have a lot of

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Speaker 1: care and consideration for even people that the world suggests

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Speaker 1: are horrific. I need more information, and I'm a big

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Speaker 1: I'm a big advocate and somebody who came forward and

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Speaker 1: let the world know this is not a this was

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Speaker 1: not a good person. This is not a safe person.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't willing to when Trump was like, he's a

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Speaker 1: great guy, He's an amazing guy. Right, Aubrey. There's a

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Speaker 1: famous like little clip on Celebrity Apprentice that made its

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Speaker 1: way around during the election of Trump wanting to force

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Speaker 1: me to say he's an amazing guy because it's his

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Speaker 1: good friend, and I wouldn't do it. And I noticed

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Speaker 1: then there was no reason to not do it. It

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Speaker 1: only would have worked out in my favor. I would

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Speaker 1: have been pleasing master over here, pleasing the old Master

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Speaker 1: and not causing any prompts for myself and not having

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Speaker 1: the hidden beard people that run your life pissing off

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Speaker 1: and because they are controlled by the money people, So

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Speaker 1: it would have been in my best interest to just

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Speaker 1: say yes to the man, and I didn't. And when

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Speaker 1: I watched the clip. I don't remember that day, but

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Speaker 1: when I saw the clip going around, I watched it

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Speaker 1: and realized, Wow, my integrity has just always been fucking there.

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Speaker 2: Is that when you went home?

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Speaker 1: No that at that time, that wasn't a topic that

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Speaker 1: would send you home, Okay, And you know on different shows,

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Speaker 1: I mean we I won't speak of any show in

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Speaker 1: particular because I can't, but I'm sure you've experienced this

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Speaker 1: and can co sign it. Some shows that you watch,

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Speaker 1: some people potentially could have must make it to three episode,

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Speaker 1: six episodes or payment wise, they're paid a certain amount

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Speaker 1: that they're not going home first, or they wouldn't be

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Speaker 1: paid that amount of money. There's different ways to guys

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Speaker 1: it because legally it gets.

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Speaker 2: Tricky and shows will say no, but we know.

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Speaker 1: That yeah no doesn't mean no usually ever, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Here's the first word towards yes. That's what I always say.

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Speaker 1: Yes exactly. So so what the audience never knows is

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Speaker 1: like I would be on shows sometimes and look at

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Speaker 1: people and be like, this bitch can't even open her laptop,

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Speaker 1: how the fuck is she still here? And or at

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Speaker 1: this high and then I would know why later on,

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Speaker 1: when you know, I would get information from people that

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Speaker 1: don't work it as executives anymore, or because I fall

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Speaker 1: in love with the president's son and I'm in a

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Speaker 1: serious relationship where I hear different things of how things

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Speaker 1: really work or don't work, Like you know, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't understand anything at the time, but when I

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Speaker 1: watched these clips, when I didn't understand anything. The one

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Speaker 1: thing that is consistent is my integrity, and so for me,

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Speaker 1: I'm really like Now, that's another one of those topics

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Speaker 1: where if you ask me if I have it, I

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Speaker 1: will say yes, and if you have a response, I

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Speaker 1: will have one for you as well. Like I'm not,

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Speaker 1: I just don't budge. So I don't know. I guess

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Speaker 1: I wear these things that I proved in myself time

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Speaker 1: and time again. I wear them as badges of honor.

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Speaker 1: And now I said, like I told you earlier and before,

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Speaker 1: you'd have to really bend my back hard. Now, if

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Speaker 1: you annoy me, I'll make it clear. I don't even

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Speaker 1: allow like a slight annoyance. I'll make it very clear quickly.

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Speaker 3: But you're so kind, you're so you're so interesting because

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Speaker 3: what I admire so much in you is you will

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Speaker 3: say it how it is and you don't let anyone

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Speaker 3: compromise your beliefs. But it's in such a genuine kind

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Speaker 3: way that you're likable.

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Speaker 1: That's because you know me in real life. On television,

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Speaker 1: they edit me like.

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Speaker 2: The problematic Yeah, right right, you're right.

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Speaker 1: They can only show the part when you engage with

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Speaker 1: someone and let them know about themselves. It's the integrity pece.

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Speaker 1: It's just that integrity piece, and I think people that

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Speaker 1: get to know me see that quickly and then really

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Speaker 1: like me as the person, regardless of what how I'm

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Speaker 1: interpreted on these shows that really need to box you

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Speaker 1: into a character very quickly in order to be successful.

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Speaker 1: Because there's no money. All the money has reduced in

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Speaker 1: every way. When that is reduced, the quality of a

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Speaker 1: production is reduced when it takes longer for anyone to

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Speaker 1: have the nerve to bring something forward. Because with all

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Speaker 1: the firings that are going on right now, why would

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Speaker 1: you want to be the one at the office to

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Speaker 1: have a good idea that might work. Before good ideas

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Speaker 1: that might work were like holy shit, let's go. Now,

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Speaker 1: you're going to be hard pressed even if somebody is

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Speaker 1: in their cubicle with the best ideas, You're going to

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Speaker 1: be hard pressed to find somebody who's willing to come

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Speaker 1: forward and just put their ass on the line, because

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Speaker 1: if they're wrong and something doesn't work, they will be

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Speaker 1: the first to go.

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Speaker 3: Or they might be, but I would always rather be

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Speaker 3: that person than not take the chance.

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Speaker 1: We have a little bit of a luxury given that

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Speaker 1: we we don't necessarily know what it's like to be

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Speaker 1: out there on a nine to five pushing resumes, trying

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Speaker 1: to ask somebody to let us get in a cubicle.

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Speaker 1: For those people, I feel even more sympathy toward, because

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Speaker 1: I just feel like I feel so suppressed right now,

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Speaker 1: because we are in a society where a lot of

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Speaker 1: things are happening very quickly, with all the changes that

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Speaker 1: occurred this year, and whether you're for it or not,

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Speaker 1: it's happening at rapid speeds, and there isn't even enough

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Speaker 1: time to process it, let alone understand it all, because

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Speaker 1: eighteen things will happen in one day, and most people

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Speaker 1: are uninformed and they're just going on their feeling of

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Speaker 1: whether they like somebody or not. But there is so

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Speaker 1: many things that so many systems are transitioning, And if

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Speaker 1: you don't think that that system isn't changing our system,

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Speaker 1: you are dead wrong. Because everybody I speak to the

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Speaker 1: thoughts of what the network wants, or.

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Speaker 2: Just about entertainment, you mean in general.

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Speaker 1: Overall, the political climate is changing the entertainment climate. When

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Speaker 1: you fire all, when you get rid of DEI and

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Speaker 1: the political world the entertainment world. Some people do that

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Speaker 1: as well, it affects all worlds. It affects what you

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Speaker 1: can sell, what you can't sell. And if you happen

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Speaker 1: to fall in a DEI category, which me and you

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Speaker 1: are both in that category as women, it's problematic. It

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Speaker 1: becomes problematic and you have to step very lightly. Just

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Speaker 1: the fact that I have to feel that every day

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Speaker 1: is like a It's horrible. And then you have to

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Speaker 1: think about people that are marginalized their entire life. It's

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Speaker 1: likely a lot and people would like probably think I'm

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Speaker 1: nuts for saying this, But for my most marginalized friend,

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Speaker 1: it's very similar to like a you and don who

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Speaker 1: they would be mad if I suggested you are marginalized

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Speaker 1: in the same way, but not in the same way,

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Speaker 1: but the feeling of being marginalized, that feeling of never

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Speaker 1: really even being able to understand your true idea because

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Speaker 1: you're suppressed out the gate with a last name or

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Speaker 1: a skin color or whatever. That feeling you can share.

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Speaker 1: Those two worlds can share that they don't understand that enough,

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Speaker 1: which is why I try to tell these people and

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Speaker 1: these people all the time, Hey, we could get together

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Speaker 1: and really do some phenomenal things if we could just

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Speaker 1: understand the piece that the experience isn't the same, but

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Speaker 1: the feeling.

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Speaker 2: Of the feeling, the feeling of.

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Speaker 3: Trapped, it's taking everything and may not to shut you

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Speaker 3: down and be like no, no, no, I don't deserve any

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Speaker 3: special treatment because of a last name.

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Speaker 2: Like no, no, no, no, no no, go through.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but actually to never having been able to create

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Speaker 1: your own identity from the second you came out of

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Speaker 1: a womb, it's pretty crazy. It's pretty fucking crazy. That's

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Speaker 1: why I still can have a heart for Dawn and

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Speaker 1: why people look at me in their lives about that.

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Speaker 2: Well, I do, and why does But why does it

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Speaker 2: happen to.

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Speaker 3: Some people and not others? There's last names people have

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Speaker 3: gone way further having a big last.

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Speaker 1: Name, Well, that integrity factor is pretty big. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: can't see you doing a lot of the things that

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Speaker 1: I've seen some of those other last names do to

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Speaker 1: move up.

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Speaker 3: There has the ability to move up, and I just can't.

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Speaker 3: I fight myself inside of ever taking that step.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Like if the assignment was forge your way

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Speaker 1: in through a sex tape that's highly produced by you

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Speaker 1: and you have control over and you can be a

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Speaker 1: huge star and become an icon, would you take it,

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Speaker 1: would you personally take it? No?

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Speaker 3: Oh, so Dean and I when we were together, and

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Speaker 3: this is in the height of Torri and Dean on Oxygen.

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Speaker 3: It was Valentine's Ay or something, and I was in

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Speaker 3: New York. He was filming a movie. Came to visit

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Speaker 3: me and he was like, hey, let's film ourselves having sex.

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Speaker 3: We had never done it before, you know, married for

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Speaker 3: years and we only had.

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Speaker 1: Do you know, have plenty of videos?

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Speaker 2: I know, look at me like we had never It's funny.

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Speaker 1: You can watch it back and fuck to it. It's

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Speaker 1: even I've never even watched it back. If I say

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Speaker 1: anything I don't like, I didn't delete it immediately. Never

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Speaker 1: never let me see that used to get kissed. You like, no,

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Speaker 1: you can use this five seconds to masturbate too. When

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Speaker 1: I'm gone, that's it, I'll go.

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Speaker 3: Wow, oh yeah, god, I love that. Anyway, we never

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Speaker 3: locked our shit up. We trusted everybody. He had an

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Speaker 3: hour computer at home, and a friend he thought was

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Speaker 3: a friend stayed at our house. Well, we took the

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Speaker 3: kids to Hawaii. Anyway, took the computer and tried to

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Speaker 3: sell it to Vivid Video, and they actually contacted us

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Speaker 3: and said we want to let you know. We didn't

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Speaker 3: accept it, and I'm like, why.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not I don't know that, that's not the normal.

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Speaker 1: That's I don't know that. I don't know. They have

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Speaker 1: to know what year it was and what else.

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Speaker 3: They were like with your permitted you know, if you

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Speaker 3: guys want to we'll engage. And do you guys want

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Speaker 3: to sell it? Yes, but we want to let you know.

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Speaker 3: So we had to get a restraining order this guy,

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Speaker 3: we got the we got all of it back and everything,

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Speaker 3: and yeah, they said, you know.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever it's going to be it's going to

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Speaker 1: be a dark question. Can I want you to think

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Speaker 1: very hard about it and forget that anyone's looking. Have

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Speaker 1: you ever had a thought where you wished I could

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Speaker 1: have released it? It's not like you went out and

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Speaker 1: actively did it and was like as bad as some

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Speaker 1: of these other girls are. Of course, do you ever

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Speaker 1: have just a tiny little thought of it could have?

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Speaker 1: Of course we helped.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't believe in the breads.

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Speaker 1: That's the part that is.

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Speaker 2: I'm bummed.

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Speaker 3: I said no to Playboy, and now at fifty one,

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Speaker 3: I wish I'd been on the cover of fucking playboy.

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Speaker 1: Like, Yeah, everyone told me no, and I did it,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so happy I did because it's such an

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Speaker 1: iconic thing. And now it doesn't even exist anymore.

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Speaker 3: I know, Yeah, I was doing it with my husband

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Speaker 3: and we were together. Yeah, I should have let that

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Speaker 3: sex tape go out.

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Speaker 1: In all worlds, the women are never really respected and

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Speaker 1: and what's crazy is the women. Then it's like female

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Speaker 1: on female crime. When I walk into big rooms that

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Speaker 1: can offer me opportunities and it's men, I usually am

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Speaker 1: much more comfortable than if there's a woman in the room,

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Speaker 1: because women will fucking tear apart women way faster than

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Speaker 1: a man will. And at least if it's all men, I,

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Speaker 1: as a female, conditioned and socialized by this world, I

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Speaker 1: know what I need to do if I send certain behaviors,

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Speaker 1: if we got a little freakadique in the room, I

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Speaker 1: know a little cleavage and whatever is necessary, how I

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Speaker 1: can move through it With women, especially women that get

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Speaker 1: to levels that high they are. I know a few

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Speaker 1: that are incredible, but it's few and far between.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's wide known. I've been fucked

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Speaker 3: over by men, obviously, but it's the women in my life.

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Speaker 1: The women hurt more than that.

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Speaker 3: Fucked me over way more because I don't know. We're

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Speaker 3: as conditioned as we are to understand and what we

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Speaker 3: need to do or not do when we're dealing with

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Speaker 3: men with women. Were conditioned as well to think, you know,

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Speaker 3: women are the first support women.

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Speaker 1: You know, Oh, I'm not conditioned to think that. I

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Speaker 1: think they're all.

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Speaker 2: Everything out there, women in power.

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Speaker 3: We support each other, the fun that maybe the first

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Speaker 3: to take you.

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Speaker 1: Down and take such Maybe this is just our entertainment perspective,

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Speaker 1: but I honestly think it's across the board. But we

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Speaker 1: can speak to just our perspective. It's bad out here

307
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Speaker 1: are the women on women And I've never I always

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Speaker 1: bring up the women up until I had a band

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Speaker 1: member come out of danity Kane and come with me

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Speaker 1: into another band. Mit, like, not even midway a little

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Speaker 1: bit into it. She turned to me and she's like, man,

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Speaker 1: I had you all wrong in the this year's multi

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Speaker 1: year span of this other group. Every time you gave

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Speaker 1: us outfits or this or that, I thought you were

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Speaker 1: manipulating something in your favor. But really you just want

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Speaker 1: everybody that's next to you to look better or as

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Speaker 1: good as you. You really have a thing about that.

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Speaker 1: When I came in sneakers that weren't a famous brand

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Speaker 1: and we were going out to a pictured event, you'd change.

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Speaker 1: I would give her my things. And maybe that's an

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Speaker 1: only child thing as well well. But I want everybody

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Speaker 1: around me to be looking their best and feeling their best.

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Speaker 1: I don't want anyone to be in a bad space

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Speaker 1: around me. But that is not the common thought amongst women.

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Speaker 1: It's so insane the way that we work against each other.

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Speaker 1: And this is the craziest statistic that I think proves this.

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Speaker 1: We have more women than men in this society and

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Speaker 1: we've never seen a female president ever, and there's.

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Speaker 2: Been because we keep canceling each other out.

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Speaker 1: We're canceling each other out more than even the men

331
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Speaker 1: that don't like us are. It's insane and I don't

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Speaker 1: know why or what. I definitely know that there's a

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Speaker 1: certain way that they expect you to behave as a woman,

334
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Speaker 1: because I am definitely the antithesis of that. And every

335
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,400
Speaker 1: person that's been offended by the antithesis goes back to

336
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Speaker 1: my manager and lets him know that. And every time

337
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,320
Speaker 1: he comes to me to scold me, I'm like tell

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Speaker 1: these people ahead of time that I'm a professional, that

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00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:57,520
Speaker 1: I expect everyone around me to be a professional, that

340
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Speaker 1: I don't cut corners, and if I'm not cutting corners,

341
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,800
Speaker 1: I don't don't want anyone around me to cut corners.

342
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Speaker 1: And if they're going to cut corners, tell them to

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00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,960
Speaker 1: do it a little less obviously, because obvious is going

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00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,600
Speaker 1: to create reaction. So tell them to go do their

345
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,320
Speaker 1: sloppy producing in a different room that I don't have

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Speaker 1: an earshot of, Like, come on, why can't we all

347
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,919
Speaker 1: just enter our jobs and do them. Well, It's just

348
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,080
Speaker 1: that that is not the assignment anymore, which is why

349
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Speaker 1: when we are discussing other people that are very obnoxious

350
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Speaker 1: on sets that I really want to.

351
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Speaker 3: Ask you, why do the mean girl? Why do they

352
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Speaker 3: keep working? And why do they even keep getting ahead?

353
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Speaker 1: They're not even fascinating. I did so many shows last

354
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Speaker 1: year when I tell you, I was so underwhelmed by

355
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:40,080
Speaker 1: the biggest people that people like. What I see is

356
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:43,520
Speaker 1: they're very good at creating narratives for TMZ. Every day

357
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,880
Speaker 1: they stay in the news with drama, and so that

358
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:50,679
Speaker 1: creates your news. It's hard, though, because even TMZ is struggling,

359
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,199
Speaker 1: like news cycles are different. Now nobody goes to that

360
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,840
Speaker 1: one source anymore. There's way too many sources with how

361
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Speaker 1: wide and that technology is becoming.

362
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Speaker 3: So the females that treat people I find self deprecating working.

363
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:17,200
Speaker 1: Why I think because well, for me, if I see

364
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:20,080
Speaker 1: something inappropriate going on on a production that I'm on,

365
00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:24,000
Speaker 1: I'm going to notify someone. Because when there were a

366
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Speaker 1: lot of inappropriate things that occurred on sets that I

367
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,800
Speaker 1: was on when I was younger, and I didn't know

368
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 1: that they were inappropriate, I normalized them and it was

369
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,359
Speaker 1: to a lot of people's detriment. So now that I

370
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,360
Speaker 1: know better, since I knew better, I report I will

371
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,680
Speaker 1: report it. They don't like you when you do that.

372
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,359
Speaker 1: I think those people are so busy bossing people around

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Speaker 1: and telling them to get their specific water or their

374
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Speaker 1: specific coffee, or talking so fucking much about themselves that

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Speaker 1: they don't notice everyone in the room is like exhausted

376
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,200
Speaker 1: or bossing people around and not even noticing that, like

377
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,440
Speaker 1: they didn't seem to be having a good day already,

378
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Speaker 1: and you kind of probably made it worse. Not even

379
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 1: you don't even know their name. Probably I know the

380
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,080
Speaker 1: names of everybody that I'm on set with and normally

381
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,840
Speaker 1: years later, I'm still friends with pas, with people that

382
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:11,960
Speaker 1: are just running runners or any like. I make friends

383
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 1: with everybody, and not because I need to for some benefit,

384
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,760
Speaker 1: because I'm going to be with them for over a

385
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,920
Speaker 1: month or a month at least, and I want to

386
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 1: get to know everybody because we're all going to be

387
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,200
Speaker 1: living this life together. That is not the mentality of

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Speaker 1: most reality stars nowadays. And the ones that I find

389
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 1: do really well are the most nasty on these sets.

390
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 1: Like I think about it, in my world, I never

391
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Speaker 1: get to walk away from abrio day because that's why

392
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,800
Speaker 1: I play on TV too. You play a character, so

393
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,360
Speaker 1: maybe you can walk away from it, but I don't

394
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:42,800
Speaker 1: think you can if you're a great actor, because actors

395
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,399
Speaker 1: throw themselves into their characters.

396
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 3: Started Donna at sixteen, it was probably a lot of

397
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 3: you was more me than Donna. So because so when

398
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,800
Speaker 3: you talk about David and Donna being cheated on, like

399
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 3: my whole life, I thought, that's just what happens, Like

400
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 3: women get cheated on, you just go on.

401
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,520
Speaker 1: I mean, that is what happens, bitch. It is. But

402
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,359
Speaker 1: did your husband chief did you ever go through that?

403
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 2: Yeah?

404
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:07,400
Speaker 1: Was it public?

405
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 2: Yeah?

406
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,159
Speaker 1: I was talking to like you were saying, what is

407
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,480
Speaker 1: a regular job? A regular job human? The other day

408
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,120
Speaker 1: that's also my good friend, and we were talking about

409
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,359
Speaker 1: elements of the Diddy stuff, and I was talking about

410
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:23,159
Speaker 1: elements of like people that like I had a band member,

411
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 1: not one of my members, like a band, actual player,

412
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,440
Speaker 1: a player of our band who's like beloved and very

413
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 1: talented and also was into scat play. And every area

414
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:33,360
Speaker 1: we would.

415
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Speaker 2: Go on tour.

416
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, so every area we would go on tour, and

417
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,680
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, like the hottest guy would have dated

418
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,560
Speaker 1: him in a second. So so fine as hell, talented

419
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 1: as shit. But he would tell me his little kink

420
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,399
Speaker 1: was every time we'd get to a new city, you

421
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 1: can go on these sites that are very available, and

422
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:50,639
Speaker 1: you find people in that city. They create like a

423
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 1: little party. They put a tarp down in a hotel room,

424
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 1: everybody shits and fucks in it. And there's nothing about

425
00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:00,880
Speaker 1: this person that's I would suggest, is unsafe. I would

426
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,359
Speaker 1: let him. I would keep my moment and have my dogs,

427
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 1: but he could watch my dogs. He could be in

428
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 1: my home and watch my home like them. I love

429
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 1: the guy, but he also was into some very different

430
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,440
Speaker 1: things sexually than I am. So I learned then, wow,

431
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,160
Speaker 1: this isn't a bad person. So then I just kind

432
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 1: of learned, like I might meet people that are into

433
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,399
Speaker 1: a lot of different sexual things that I'm not into,

434
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 1: and there still could be great people.

435
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 3: Just see you know, obrio da. I'm not into gangbang,

436
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 3: I'm not a swinger, and I don't like scatplay.

437
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean neither. But like I kissed the girl

438
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:35,880
Speaker 1: and I liked it.

439
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 2: I would kiss you.

440
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, i'd kiss you too.

441
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're fine.

442
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 1: Listen, bitch. Okay, you're Donna Martin and my soul for

443
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 1: the rest of life. Now, one person can go off

444
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,399
Speaker 1: on you. I will have them at their throw in

445
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 1: a second.

446
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,199
Speaker 2: Do you still think I should join only fans?

447
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,119
Speaker 1: Yes, I've been telling you for a long time. So

448
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 1: you know, Denise's with my company too. I know I

449
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 1: have the best company number one, and they'll help you,

450
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 1: like get up and facilitate it and you can decide.

451
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 2: They did.

452
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 1: Yes, you can create your career. Give me a number

453
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 1: of time.

454
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 2: And it wasn't the number.

455
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 1: That I There is no numbers, you know they Oh, well,

456
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know about that. I've never

457
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,920
Speaker 1: been offered a number. There there's no numbers. They maybe

458
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 1: you're maybe I don't know what that was that, maybe

459
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,199
Speaker 1: it was something different. I don't know.

460
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,919
Speaker 3: For me, it wasn't from this company. It was like

461
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 3: literally only fans. Oh, I don't know what they get.

462
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 3: You honestly don't know any I don't know anyone out

463
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 3: that runs.

464
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:35,159
Speaker 1: Only fans. And it's like some people in Europe that

465
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 1: own it. There's like seven people in the office. It's

466
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 1: it's for you. You go on there, you talk to people,

467
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:44,120
Speaker 1: you decide your content, you decide what you do. I've

468
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 1: never been asked to do anything. I do everything the

469
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 1: way I want to do it. I'm sure mine is,

470
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: like I say, highly artistic. My ideas are creative. I

471
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: do things probably much different than maybe other girls do.

472
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 1: But I'm comfortable with everything that I do, and to me,

473
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 1: it's become something that has just given me complete autonomy

474
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 1: in life. I don't let people talk to me even

475
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 1: a little bit sideways anymore. If I'm on a show

476
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 1: where I'm expressing my talent and I'm being taken off

477
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 1: for unfair reasons and it's been vocally expressed to me,

478
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 1: and I could start a shit storm up if I

479
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 1: wanted to, or I could follow the commands that were

480
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 1: being given to me and get further. I immediately knew

481
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 1: the answer. Bye, I have this much money waiting at

482
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 1: home to do a video. I don't need to please

483
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 1: any of you.

484
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:40,679
Speaker 2: Bye.

485
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,239
Speaker 1: Let me get this off and let me say what

486
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 1: up to everybody, and let me give them a little

487
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 1: world twirl, And then I'm getting the fuck out this room,

488
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,119
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna go be around people that aren't fake

489
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 1: as fuck and garbage. When I see somebody that doesn't

490
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 1: want to have to be dealing with the way that

491
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 1: this system is anymore, and I know the type of

492
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 1: freedoms that can exist in other places. And not only that,

493
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 1: but like you control your the timing of your creation.

494
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,119
Speaker 1: You don't have to ever be on someone else's schedule.

495
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 1: That's a big thing as we get older, you're a mother,

496
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 1: even so your schedule is way crazier for me, Like,

497
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 1: my time is the most valuable thing I have. And

498
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 1: when I don't want to be doing something, especially a

499
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 1: lot of times in this industry, it's some fake bullshit.

500
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 1: Me and you both pieced out on some shit yesterday

501
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,159
Speaker 1: because we just didn't want to do it, yeah, and

502
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 1: it would have been better for our careers had we

503
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:33,639
Speaker 1: done it process, but we just didn't want to do it.

504
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:38,959
Speaker 1: But I don't worry about any situation anymore just because

505
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 1: of that one factor.

506
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 2: That I have and that financial thing, and lit it's.

507
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: A financial thing, it just is.

508
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 3: I want to have that freedom because I'm not enjoying

509
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 3: my life, like I have five beautiful, amazing children.

510
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: Well that's why I'm successed to you. And when I

511
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 1: heard you in the room like strange, trust yeah, because

512
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, if you if you really get to a

513
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 1: point where you're that stress because you're in such a

514
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 1: market where I believe you do so well, like Denist

515
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:07,919
Speaker 1: does so well, and she does very little. And I

516
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 1: think we even talked about it. I don't even think

517
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 1: she does much. I don't know what you saw or

518
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 1: didn't see, but I don't think she.

519
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,160
Speaker 2: Does more than probably what I'd be willing to do.

520
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:20,160
Speaker 1: Okay, So I'm just so judged, bitch, Everyone is so judged.

521
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 1: You want to know who also feels judged? Someone we

522
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 1: don't even know their name that's watching this right now,

523
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 1: that as a nine to five, and that bitch that

524
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,719
Speaker 1: sits across from her at work every day has been

525
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 1: judging her ever since she got there. Everybody in life

526
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,680
Speaker 1: feels judged. We have to move past that place. The

527
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 1: people that move past it the quickest make the most

528
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 1: money and have the highest rises. It's crazy, like when

529
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 1: you start giving zero fucks is when how many fucks

530
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,479
Speaker 1: do you think? The two people running our country right

531
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:51,640
Speaker 1: now give zero? They don't give a fuck and they

532
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 1: run everything. The not giving a fucks part of me

533
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 1: was so hard. Sometimes I would do a video and

534
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 1: I'd be like, Damn, that was hot. I don't want

535
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 1: to do this and that, but god, I don't know. Judge, judge, judge, judge, judge,

536
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 1: and then I would stop and be like I even

537
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 1: had a moment when I was doing Bunny Jelly Roll's

538
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,400
Speaker 1: wife's podcast, Bunny's Podcast. I said she was saying because

539
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 1: she was she worked in the sex industry for a

540
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 1: long time, and she was saying like, I think the

541
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 1: majority of not all people in that that area have

542
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 1: had trauma in their childhoods. And I was like, shit.

543
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 1: I had a moment where one time, the next time

544
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,360
Speaker 1: I made a video, I was like, am I making

545
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 1: this video because I was traumatized? Under a person that

546
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 1: I worked for that were now learning did things that

547
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 1: were very potentially, very dangerous and could cause a lot

548
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 1: of trauma, Like am I only doing this because of

549
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 1: a trauma that I experienced at a young age and

550
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,880
Speaker 1: I haven't moved past it to the point where I'm

551
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:52,120
Speaker 1: still sexualizing myself, Like I had to have moments of

552
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 1: those types of conversations. It was very hard for me

553
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 1: to shoot any content for a period of time. The

554
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: great thing about that platform is when new people come,

555
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 1: there's a million videos that you've already done. If you're

556
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 1: in a month where you're not feeling so sexually great

557
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 1: about yourself, then you can express yourself in other areas. Shit,

558
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 1: what's her name, Iggy Azalea? I think is her name?

559
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 1: A rapper girl, White rapper girl is on there. Yeah,

560
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 1: she had a section of poetry. I don't know how

561
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 1: well it did. Now that's the thing. You can go

562
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:25,199
Speaker 1: on and just do poetry. Is everybody gonna watch? I

563
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:30,360
Speaker 1: don't know, but it just maybe, but it's not it

564
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 1: it's if you're more compelling than your sexuality, you might

565
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,919
Speaker 1: be able to do it without that factor, however, but

566
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:42,159
Speaker 1: it's also about who watched past. Yeah, your sexuality is

567
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,119
Speaker 1: hard for you. I don't know why. Why because people

568
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 1: have attacked your looks because you were famous so young

569
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 1: your whole life. You were attacked a lot during the

570
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 1: nine o two one Ozero days for beauty standards. I remember, Oh,

571
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 1: why do I just tear up? But you think I

572
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 1: had any feelings left me?

573
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 3: I don't know, but I look back then about how

574
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 3: like I was always the one wearing like the crop

575
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 3: tops and showing my body off.

576
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, you looked so good and you were so attacked.

577
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 3: I was so attacked, never like was told since I

578
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:15,199
Speaker 3: was young, like how ugly I was, horse face, ugly, nose,

579
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 3: like big eyes. So was there something I felt good

580
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,400
Speaker 3: about myself that I still pressed on and wore cute outfits?

581
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:25,479
Speaker 3: Or was I trying to overcome and say for what

582
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 3: I thought they perceived as my face by showing off

583
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 3: a good body.

584
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,919
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I'm still traumatized by it.

585
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 3: But yet I still there's a part of me that

586
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 3: feels like sexuality is such a huge part of making it.

587
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 1: I have a question, do you have sex sober or

588
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 1: do you need a drink or something to get through?

589
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 2: Oh? Interesting, God, I haven't in sex in a while.

590
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: How is it as long as me?

591
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 2: You said two years?

592
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 1: While we're pressing on more. No, I've had some of

593
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 1: my friends so easily, but I don't. I don't want

594
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 1: any man inside me if they don't love me, if

595
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: they don't respect me, care about me, and if they

596
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: don't plan on being right or die with me, Like.

597
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 2: I see, I don't know what I as anymore. I've lost.

598
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 3: I had the fairy tale of my whole life in

599
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:14,959
Speaker 3: my head with Dean. No was in my head like

600
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 3: it's from a very young age. I don't know if

601
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 3: it was. My dad was a producer.

602
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: Are you cheating on your mom? Your dad?

603
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I really don't love her, yes,

604
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 2: oh yeah, yeah yeah.

605
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: Where did you learn this from?

606
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 2: I'm not sure. I don't know. And that's what's weird

607
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:32,479
Speaker 2: for me. And I just started.

608
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 3: I having in therapy in a really long time, and

609
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,040
Speaker 3: I just started with a new therapist.

610
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 1: You got to give me some names, and I really.

611
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 3: And we're going all back way back to childhood because

612
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 3: it's just like I don't know where this comes from.

613
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 2: But like I have a very odd relationship with men,

614
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 2: Like it's the need to be.

615
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 3: I don't and I don't know, and I think I'm

616
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 3: now fifty one and single again with five kids, so

617
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 3: I don't even know where I stand in the future.

618
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 1: Like are you on a dating side girl at all? No? Yeah,

619
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 1: I wouldn't get involved in it. They're all trash on

620
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 1: there anyway. Right now, I would say, I don't there

621
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 1: for what I do want to be like, I don't

622
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 1: want to have a stroke in the midll that I

623
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 1: say this.

624
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 2: I want to be alone.

625
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I don't want to be alone either.

626
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 1: I feel you on that. I'm about to leave for

627
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,719
Speaker 1: Japan and I wasn't even going to go and on

628
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 1: this adventure. I wanted to do cherry blossom season because

629
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: there's like only a few Sorry, I'm about to cry.

630
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 2: No, don't cry.

631
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 1: If you want to cry, by the way, good, it's fine.

632
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 1: Let it out. That's part of getting better.

633
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 2: Listen, I'm such a you know me, I'm Pausitive've.

634
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 1: Just know you. This is we are, we live there

635
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: that you're not going to die alone. I'm here first

636
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 1: of all. Listen to me.

637
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 2: I'm no hold on, I put my other man.

638
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 1: I don't care're not alone. Have each other. There are

639
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: other people that have our bucks. We're not alone. I

640
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 1: just have to believe that first. Such a fucked up life,

641
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: all of this, I know, babes, my fucking life. I'm

642
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 1: forty one without kids. At least you got some. I'm

643
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 1: not even going to be able to have them in

644
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 1: life because of all the bullshit I thought to be

645
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: and I really wanted to correct my generational trauma. I'm

646
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: not even going to get a chance to do it.

647
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 1: This industry is not for the fucking week.

648
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 2: What is strong when I am strong?

649
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 1: So what it needs to correct? But get everything together

650
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 1: real quick.

651
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 2: This top, sorry, Bob, this top was.

652
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 1: Just a goddamn I shouldn't have ever purchased it. I

653
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 1: thought I could pull off a back list top.

654
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 2: It looks great.

655
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: Listen, let me take the podcast bucket. Yeah, let me

656
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 1: tell you something strong.

657
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 3: I'm fucking Let me tell you they should sample my

658
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 3: DNA when.

659
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 2: They go to bitch.

660
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 1: I feel this. I feel the same other.

661
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,040
Speaker 2: Fuck I am. I'm resilient, but what is it? I

662
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 2: need a good of the.

663
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,479
Speaker 1: Day, So fuck everything you're saying. I feel that too.

664
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: You have to me. I think for you, I'd start

665
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 1: with you get to teach young you have kids that

666
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 1: you get to But here's the one thing that my

667
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 1: friends told me at one point when I was doing

668
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 1: the same sob over and not over the loss of

669
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 1: not being None of the girls in my group ever

670
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 1: had a child. A lot of girl group girls don't

671
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: because of the amount of trauma that we face in

672
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 1: those situations and what it does to us. I think,

673
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 1: I don't know. I wanted to do a documentary on it.

674
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 1: I started doing research. There wasn't a girl group in

675
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 1: my lifetime where I didn't find one member that hadn't

676
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 1: been sexually harassed, and everyone had been underpaid and undervalued

677
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 1: and disrespected, et cetera. I said the same thing and

678
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 1: my friend was like yeah, and she was like, well,

679
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 1: being a mom doesn't bring the what is it all for?

680
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 1: A card to you. And that was the first time

681
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 1: a mom said that to me, and it made me realize, Okay,

682
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: so maybe I wouldn't have found the answers in being

683
00:32:57,880 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: a mom. You're a mom and you're still saying the

684
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 1: same thing. I cry that that out loud all the time.

685
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 1: It's hard when so many people live and breathe by

686
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 1: the system that we were a part of teaching people

687
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 1: and creating. It's not in our hands, and it's not

688
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 1: in good hands anymore at all. It has been taken

689
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 1: over and there has been dark shit going on, probably

690
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 1: even during our time. But things were a lot different

691
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 1: back then, and you actually had to have a lot

692
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: and bring a lot to the table to get the

693
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: type of work that we did. It's not the same anymore,

694
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 1: which makes it even more disrespectful because you have people

695
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 1: who don't even have talent being like, who the fuck

696
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 1: are you? And they look at us like old bitches,

697
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 1: when really we're the reason they have the ability to

698
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 1: have a job. Right now, We're still relevant, Yeah, I

699
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 1: mean we are, but we're not. There's a whole Let

700
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 1: me tell you. I get told how irrelevant I am daily.

701
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 1: The most relevant I've been is as one of Diddy's victims.

702
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 1: Imagine how fucking traumatic that is. I don't know what

703
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 1: it all is for yet, but I know that if

704
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: I don't keep speaking up and saying things and making

705
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 1: things known, and and if I'm in contracts, I don't,

706
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 1: I can't telp the world it. But if you get

707
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 1: in any immediate circle, I will run my motherfucking mouth

708
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 1: and tell you what the truth is about people. But

709
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 1: I watch learn and I pay attention to every little thing.

710
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 1: Every time I'm on a network that I don't trust

711
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 1: and a white man comes in and tells me, hey,

712
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:29,919
Speaker 1: you can trust this network. We're not like this. Look

713
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 1: behind me and there's a Asian girl, a Mexican guy

714
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 1: that lets me know he's gay, and a black woman,

715
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,719
Speaker 1: and it's like the fucking United Nations and I and

716
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 1: they do their whole the whole spill and they walk out,

717
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,760
Speaker 1: and I think to myself, and they're standing five steps

718
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 1: behind him in an appropriate lineup, and they announce themselves

719
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 1: specifically with their sexuality and their races. I just they

720
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: walk out of the room, and while everybody waits to

721
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 1: see if I bought it, I just roll my eyes

722
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 1: and go, oh god, So now I understand what this

723
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 1: job is. I'm going to get tired any day now,

724
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:04,439
Speaker 1: Like I see through all of the bullshit at this point,

725
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 1: and I have to be a part of the bullshit

726
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 1: in order to stay relevant. And it is so fucking painful.

727
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: I hate that. And even the complexities of what's happening

728
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 1: right now with puff are so deep they are not

729
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,799
Speaker 1: even being anywhere near close to being discussed, and I

730
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: fear that we never will truly discuss what how many

731
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 1: ways that this needs to be processed in order for

732
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,799
Speaker 1: the system to change, so that nobody that is me

733
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 1: at the age I was that wanted what I wanted

734
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 1: at that time would ever have to go through what

735
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 1: I went through again, or anyone that was around me

736
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 1: with any other type of intentions worse or better, no judgment,

737
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 1: I don't think we are anywhere close to changing this system.

738
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 1: And when did he first? When the indictment occurred? Of course,

739
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,720
Speaker 1: I was filming a TV show and we had wrapped

740
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:55,879
Speaker 1: and they pulled me back in to do b roll

741
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 1: through a microphone on me and caught it all. Now,

742
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 1: if all the times I've been minipulated for television's sake,

743
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:05,919
Speaker 1: that was one of the most thankful moments that I've

744
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 1: had in regards to being manipulated, because being in the

745
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 1: environment I was was very safe, and I was around

746
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 1: a lot of caring women and they all held me

747
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: and I would have been at home alone and scared.

748
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 1: And also people need to see what something like that

749
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 1: looks like. And I don't know that any of things

750
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 1: like that are documented on the victim side necessarily and

751
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 1: put in front of the world. And if there's anyone

752
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: fearless enough to do it, like you said, we are strong,

753
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 1: I'm the one to do it too. However, with that

754
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 1: being said, there is so much more that is so

755
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 1: compelling that no one is even talking about. And my

756
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 1: fears that we never do and I know that without

757
00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:44,839
Speaker 1: the conversation as a society, that the system won't change.

758
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:48,120
Speaker 1: And when it all gets piled up on one person

759
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 1: and you don't address the systematic issues, the thing changes.

760
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 1: And for us to go with nothing having changed, I

761
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 1: think that's when we'll really cry. And you have the

762
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,799
Speaker 1: ability to at least put change and growth in a

763
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,239
Speaker 1: new wave of thinking within your children, which I think

764
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:07,280
Speaker 1: is very special, which is what I was thinking motherhood

765
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 1: would at least bring me in my life, because I

766
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 1: think I'd be a kick ass mom because my mom

767
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 1: was garbage and I would definitely want to recorrect that

768
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 1: generationally and send someone on their way. Yes, good history,

769
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,359
Speaker 1: good that right there.

770
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 2: That's one I see.

771
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:27,320
Speaker 3: I see my daughter for no reason, and I've always

772
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 3: done nothing but tell her how beautiful and amazing she is.

773
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 3: You know, she looked on social media one time and

774
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 3: they said something about in regards to her looks and

775
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,359
Speaker 3: she couldn't see it. Yeah, And I was just took

776
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 3: me right back to sixteen and knowing that that had

777
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 3: and I was like, yeah, just doesn't change. No, Can

778
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 3: I tell you she's trying to like the same types

779
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 3: of bad boys I liked.

780
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:46,839
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, God, can I tell you something.

781
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,880
Speaker 1: When we were talking, we've jumped around a lot. But

782
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:50,720
Speaker 1: when I was talking about when I addressed my girlfriends

783
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,800
Speaker 1: about humiliation, and one I told you one at the

784
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,360
Speaker 1: workplace had a little thing. But I was like, the

785
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 1: type of humiliation that we endure in this industry is

786
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:01,279
Speaker 1: certain now the new age kids, there isn't even paparazzi

787
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 1: that catches you outside anymore. That shit's all set up

788
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 1: at this point, back when they were all standing outside

789
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 1: and catching it, back when they were going like this

790
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 1: as you stepped into your car, Remember when they used

791
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 1: to put the cameras under your dress and they got

792
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: Britney spears, pussy and a bunch of other things. We

793
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: all had that happened. We all knew when they would

794
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 1: do it. When we got in cars. We all had

795
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 1: protections put in place we started to catch on. But

796
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 1: like we were around in that era of fame, the

797
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:25,279
Speaker 1: eras are changing. The younger kids don't understand what this is.

798
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 1: There aren't celebrities anymore. There's too many TikTokers and YouTubers

799
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 1: and whatever to even have any epic ones like that.

800
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 1: The age of all of that is like, there's a

801
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 1: few that started out so you could take it. But

802
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 1: in our era, the type of humiliation, because of the

803
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 1: way that it moved and grew, was so intense that

804
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,720
Speaker 1: like you could spend a lifetime and never even recover

805
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 1: from it. I said to my friends, imagine people taking

806
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 1: photos of you at an off time in your life,

807
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: exaggerating them and then putting them on the cover of

808
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:59,720
Speaker 1: every magazine saying, look at this obese pig cow fucker

809
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: that's outside of the dollar tree that's obviously broke and

810
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:07,240
Speaker 1: a joke, and then ex boyfriends going on Twitter and writing,

811
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:11,359
Speaker 1: I dodged an obese bullet. Knowing my exes when I

812
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: was in my prime, in conversations with them, very big

813
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 1: ones that could potentially be running this country right now,

814
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: would say things to me like, oh yeah, like guys

815
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 1: always get together and talk about like the women that

816
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 1: got away, But they always end up like fat and ugly,

817
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:26,840
Speaker 1: and we always are like you know, we were, we

818
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,439
Speaker 1: were better off, we dodged Like I know how men

819
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 1: in all these circles talk. Some of my exes are

820
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:33,360
Speaker 1: petty and went and did it in front of the world.

821
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: Some did it outside of it. I don't know how

822
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 1: many bottles of pills could have made me feel better

823
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,799
Speaker 1: for a very long period of time after that much

824
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 1: humiliation and no ability to tell anyone, Hey, I don't

825
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 1: that's I don't look like that. I don't look great

826
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: right now, but I definitely don't look like that. But

827
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 1: like the type of humiliation, and every in every department

828
00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 1: is so therapy. How can a therapist they get.

829
00:39:58,320 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 2: They're famous, They can't com.

830
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 1: No, it doesn't work like that. And I don't think

831
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 1: anyone there are difference between people that became famous for

832
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 1: famesake and people that want to share their art with

833
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 1: the world. There's just differences. And I don't know where

834
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:15,760
Speaker 1: fame is at right now. I'm sure fame has always

835
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 1: across the board been a cyclical moment of the fame

836
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 1: famers are big now the real talent people are famous.

837
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 1: I think it goes round and round. Like I said,

838
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 1: what the Grammys were when I watched versus when I

839
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 1: got in completely different. But like everything's cyclical, it'll continue

840
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 1: to move. But I think that, I think that the

841
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,240
Speaker 1: amount of trauma that you endure is just too great

842
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 1: for anyone to truly ever be able to understand, except

843
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 1: your famous friends. And for me, my famous friends that

844
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 1: are got ten years on me, that are single like me,

845
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 1: that can move like me. They take their pills and

846
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 1: they knock out. And I was doing that and until

847
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 1: I saw everybody ten years above me doing that. To

848
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 1: escape it all, did I like, move to Balie and

849
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 1: move to a place where you can't get home? What

850
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 1: were you there for long enough to get off pills?

851
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: A year and some change? Yeah, and I got the

852
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 1: pills from a famous person that suggested that they could

853
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 1: help me with my problem, my fear of flying. I'm

854
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 1: not a good flyer. I'm one of those pitches that

855
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 1: stand up during turbulence and tell everyone we're gonna die

856
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 1: on the plane. Name okay, everybody that sits next to me.

857
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 1: We end up being best friends because I grab them.

858
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 1: Is that why you were all paranoid to go that day,

859
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:34,799
Speaker 1: it's to work for QVC because you had to get

860
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 1: on a plane. Ye I thought you were being a

861
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 1: drama queen about working at QVC. It was about getting

862
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 1: on a plane because I've never panicked like that unless

863
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:47,400
Speaker 1: I have to get on a plane. I only me too. Okay,

864
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 1: I don't do well on planes. So for me, like

865
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 1: the way that I behave, like I'm in There are

866
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 1: multiple planes that I've stood up and said we're all

867
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 1: going to die on I'm an embarrassment on a plane.

868
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 1: And see the person that I worked for said, oh,

869
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 1: we'll send a doctor your hotel room and fix this.

870
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 1: Because it was becoming a problem in my work when

871
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: I couldn't sleep and then I had I was expected

872
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 1: to perform a lot and I wasn't sleep because I

873
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,279
Speaker 1: can't knock out on the plane ride and that's the

874
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:14,800
Speaker 1: only time we had to sleep. And when that happened

875
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,120
Speaker 1: is the first time I was put on the cocktail

876
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 1: of celebrities. From what I've seen, it ever be ambient,

877
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:21,800
Speaker 1: an adderall.

878
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 2: Adderall I've never seen an.

879
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 1: Oh god, girl, you're missing out. But also it's not

880
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,480
Speaker 1: you're missing out, but also it's no way to live.

881
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:33,480
Speaker 1: So don't go there. But that is the cocktail that

882
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 1: most doctors had ten years older than me, I saw it,

883
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 1: and then my age it was still there. I think

884
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 1: younger now people are treating mental health and things a

885
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 1: bit differently. Thank God, there's this like whole world of

886
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 1: alternative healing opening up. It needs to open up. When

887
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 1: we were younger, we didn't even we were in home Mech.

888
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,240
Speaker 1: They were teaching us how to iron and do the laundry.

889
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 2: Bitch.

890
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:58,399
Speaker 1: I took home Mech when I was.

891
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 2: To do the launch.

892
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 1: I know that class. Yeah, yeah, I think at the

893
00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:08,320
Speaker 1: end of the day, like people have leaving more space.

894
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,760
Speaker 1: And by the way, even the people that we see

895
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 1: that the world perceives as evil, they are also very

896
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 1: traumatized in the same ways that you and I have

897
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 1: expressed today. And that's why I leave space for every

898
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:28,200
Speaker 1: person until I understand and trust otherwise, because you never

899
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 1: know what somebody else is battling you.

900
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 2: Just don't.

901
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 3: I agree with you, and I think that every day,

902
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 3: especially when you see someone horrible and too him like,

903
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 3: I don't know the other side of it.

904
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 2: I don't know what they're going to do good for you.

905
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 1: I need to start doing that more. I'm more judging Mcjudgerson.

906
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:46,799
Speaker 1: I need to calm it down a little bit. There's

907
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 1: certain people a little bit, just the exhausting people I

908
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 1: think that about, but like the compel, the talented ones

909
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 1: I wonder.

910
00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I love you so much. I love you

911
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:00,839
Speaker 2: so much. Things cry on you.