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Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with broths Like and Gavin

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Speaker 1: de Grab and I Hear Radio Podcasts. Welcome to another

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Speaker 1: episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like,

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Speaker 1: and I'm super excited about today's episode because we are

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Speaker 1: going to help all of our listeners. Everybody is going

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Speaker 1: through so much. The state of the world, the state

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Speaker 1: of the universe right now is very heavy, very stagnant.

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Speaker 1: There's just so much uncertainty in the world. And we

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Speaker 1: have done a pole of our community. We've done a

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Speaker 1: poll of the women listeners of the How Men Think community,

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Speaker 1: and we found out the top five things that our

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Speaker 1: community is struggling with. And we have four very special

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Speaker 1: guests that will be bringing on today to address these

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Speaker 1: five areas. The five areas that we have pulled in

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Speaker 1: our community that women are struggling with and most worried

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Speaker 1: about right now are number one health, love and family.

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Speaker 1: Number two trying to find normalcy and a routine during

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Speaker 1: this pandemic. Number three mental health, stress and anxiety, Number

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Speaker 1: four what does the future look like? And number five finances.

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Speaker 1: So we have four brilliant and very intelligent, very successful

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Speaker 1: women coming on the show today to help us answer

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Speaker 1: these questions. And help us through the struggle that we

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Speaker 1: are currently going through. So without further ado, we have

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Speaker 1: our first two guests joining us right now. Our first

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Speaker 1: guest is a possibilitarian and board certified coach. She helps

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Speaker 1: leaders create workspaces that solve the world's biggest problems. She

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Speaker 1: believes that by centering well being, connection, and self awareness,

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Speaker 1: we can create the conditions for everyone to succeed. She's

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Speaker 1: currently the resident well Being coach at YouTube. She's worked

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Speaker 1: with women at Google for over ten years and is

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Speaker 1: the founder of the Luminaries. She gives leaders and organizations

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Speaker 1: the tools to become their highest selves, go after everything

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Speaker 1: they've ever wanted, and work together like never before. Charie Heally,

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Speaker 1: welcome back to the show to be here. You saved

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Speaker 1: all of us last time you're on the show. You

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Speaker 1: fixed all of our problems. They so good Ryan, we

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Speaker 1: need Brian's like I need to be on that show.

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Speaker 1: Ryan's not with us today. But I think you saved

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Speaker 1: Ryan's life. It's the only reason he's continued on. But Sueri,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much for being here. Absolutely, thanks for

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Speaker 1: having me books welcome. Yes, We're glad to have you.

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Speaker 1: Our second guest right here is a clinical Associate Professor

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Speaker 1: of psychiatry with the New York Presbyterian Hospital and a

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Speaker 1: psychoanalyst at the New York Psychoanalytic Institute. She's best known

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Speaker 1: for her work as a relationship, family, emotional well being,

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Speaker 1: and mental health and wellness contributor in the media, where

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Speaker 1: she frequently shares her expertise on the mental health aspects

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Speaker 1: of current issues and news. She's a best selling author

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Speaker 1: of numerous books, including her most recent, The Power of

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Speaker 1: Different The Link Between Disorder and Genius. She's also the

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Speaker 1: host of the Personalogy podcast with My Heart Radio Dr

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Speaker 1: Gayl Salts. Welcome to the show. Thanks so much for

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Speaker 1: having me. It's really great to be with you. I'm

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Speaker 1: so excited to dive into all of these topics with

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Speaker 1: you ladies and get your expertise, because I don't know

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Speaker 1: if we could have ever found two more qualified people

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Speaker 1: to speak on these topics. So once again I'll review

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Speaker 1: for you guys and for our listeners the top five

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Speaker 1: things that our female listeners are struggling with right now. Health,

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Speaker 1: love and family, trying to find a routine and normalcy

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Speaker 1: in the pandemic, mental health, stress and anxiety, the future

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Speaker 1: and finances, and so I want to lead with you, Shari,

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Speaker 1: what are you finding Are you finding that to be

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Speaker 1: a common thread with your clients? What are you finding

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Speaker 1: most of your clients are struggling with the most right now? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean most of the women that I work with.

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Speaker 1: I work with men too, but the women are the

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Speaker 1: big focus today and they are juggling like crazy, trying

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Speaker 1: to show up to work, two kids, to relationship demands

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Speaker 1: and themselves and their selves are last. You know, it's

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Speaker 1: there there putting themselves on the back burner for all

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Speaker 1: the reasons to uphold everybody else's well being. And I

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Speaker 1: think that's what I work on a lot with them,

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Speaker 1: is saying, the more you want to give, the more

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Speaker 1: you need. And if they're going to go out there

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Speaker 1: and try to help everybody else and still crush it

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Speaker 1: at work and be great parents and all of it,

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Speaker 1: that they have to center well being and their own

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Speaker 1: mental health as a gift to Yeah. It's such a

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Speaker 1: selfless act, right, It's such a selfless act to to

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Speaker 1: poor love into your family, to poor love into your partner.

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Speaker 1: You know, you have to show up in in the

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Speaker 1: work environment as well. That a lot of oftentimes I

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Speaker 1: think of myself as well, Like even guys, I think

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Speaker 1: as well, we'll put ourselves last and then and then

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Speaker 1: what's then It ends up not being sustainable. It ends

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Speaker 1: up we end up crashing, We end up um, you

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Speaker 1: know what. Depression can come from that because you're not

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Speaker 1: personally happy and fulfilled. It's very it's a very difficult

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Speaker 1: time for a lot of people. And I don't have

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Speaker 1: kids right now, so I don't know what you know.

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Speaker 1: I can't I can't have the understanding of what a

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Speaker 1: parent is going through trying to juggle kids, juggle the relationship,

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Speaker 1: like you said, juggle work, and then also make yourself

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Speaker 1: happy in a really unique and chaotic time. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I think that we feel guilty if we're happy.

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Speaker 1: Now that's another thing. It's like if I am doing okay,

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Speaker 1: Holy cow, that's not fair because so many people are

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Speaker 1: really struggling. So there's almost you know what we're doing

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Speaker 1: some mental health campaigns at YouTube and even with my

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Speaker 1: kids is is people are are almost wearing their mental

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Speaker 1: health challenges to be in belonging, you know, to to say, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm not doing okay either, you know where I

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Speaker 1: actually think the people who are okay right now. We

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Speaker 1: need you, you know, we need we need joy, and

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Speaker 1: we need laughter, and we need centered joy so that

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Speaker 1: you know we're all going to make it through this.

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Speaker 1: I think we're in the marathon. You know. I agree

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Speaker 1: with you, Sharie. I think now more than ever, the

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Speaker 1: world needs inspiration. Yeah, And I see, I have a

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Speaker 1: lot of friends that are struggling during the pandemic, and

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Speaker 1: I have a lot of friends that are actually really

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Speaker 1: thriving during the pandemic. And it seems that my friends

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Speaker 1: that are thriving during it have become very shy to

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Speaker 1: share their current state of well being because they don't

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Speaker 1: want to, like they don't want to put it in

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Speaker 1: front of anybody's face or like make other feels other

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Speaker 1: people feel less than um. But I'm like, please share it.

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Speaker 1: The world needs that inspiration now more than ever. Gailice

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Speaker 1: in the same sort of thing, like across the mental

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Speaker 1: health order, you seeing struggle and thriving. Yes, it's fair

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Speaker 1: to say, but I would say, obviously, as a psychiatrist

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Speaker 1: and psychoanalysts, I am seeing more struggle because I am

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Speaker 1: you know that that's my job, and so I'm seeing,

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Speaker 1: you know, returned of patients that had been doing well

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Speaker 1: and are relapsing. UM. I'm seeing new patients obviously that

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Speaker 1: people who had not previously seemed to need mental health

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Speaker 1: care need it. UM. I could tell you that surveys

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Speaker 1: across the board Psychiatric Association being national institutent mental health UM,

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Speaker 1: there's really an explosion of mental health need in anxiety

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Speaker 1: disorders and depressive disorders, post traumatic stress disorder, relapsing people

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Speaker 1: in terms of addiction, and real concerns that there may

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Speaker 1: be arise in suicide's. UM will be reflect back on

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Speaker 1: this time. UH, concerns about rising mental health issues and

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Speaker 1: health professionals a group that rarely gets mental health care

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Speaker 1: because they kind of feel like they're not supposed to,

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Speaker 1: but they've been on the front lines of this pandemic

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Speaker 1: and the stress, the burnout, the feelings of helplessness have

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Speaker 1: really affected health professionals. UM. So I would say, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm very heavily taxed, as are my peers. In

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Speaker 1: really trying to help people to do two things. UM.

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Speaker 1: One is to think about and incorporate into your life

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Speaker 1: preventive mental health care. So we can talk about what

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Speaker 1: those things are. But you know, people think all the

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Speaker 1: time about preventive care. Right, you go to the doctor

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Speaker 1: once a year to have check up, see if you

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Speaker 1: have diabetes, or or see if you're heading that direction,

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Speaker 1: or your blood pressure is rising, if you need some

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Speaker 1: cardiac here to prevent certain diseases from happening. But we

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Speaker 1: never think about that with mental health care, and we

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Speaker 1: should be because people can definitely be doing things things

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Speaker 1: that are are not difficult to incorporate into your life.

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Speaker 1: We can talking about aerobic exercise for thirty minutes a

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Speaker 1: day multiple times, to be talking about a deep breathing,

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Speaker 1: the practice of mindfulness or meditation, um muscle relaxation, us

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Speaker 1: of visual imagery, all kinds of things that people can

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Speaker 1: do to help stave off and and actually build a

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Speaker 1: toolbox of hoping tools a few and more resilient in

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Speaker 1: this time. Because really, even though I could tell you, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm not seeing as many people feel great. So I

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Speaker 1: want people to understand you don't feel great. That's that's

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Speaker 1: pretty normal right now, and that's okay, you can accept that.

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Speaker 1: But I do think that we're going to see a

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Speaker 1: lot of people afterwards build resilience and feel in some

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Speaker 1: ways is stronger and more able than they did before.

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Speaker 1: I actually very much agree with you on that. Um.

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Speaker 1: In my life as an athlete, I've learned a lot

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Speaker 1: about resilience. And we used to say as an athlete,

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Speaker 1: where you once blister, you will callous. And I think

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Speaker 1: that's what it's going to happen to people right now,

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Speaker 1: is they're they're blistering in certain areas, but like you said,

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Speaker 1: they're going to be stronger in the future because of it. Um.

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Speaker 1: And we also used to say, announce of prevention is

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Speaker 1: worth a pound of cure. And but you're right, like

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Speaker 1: I've never I've never thought of it in terms of

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Speaker 1: mental health preventative care. So can you walk us through

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Speaker 1: what some of those things specifically might be where somebody

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Speaker 1: can be proactive to defend against the onset of any

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Speaker 1: sort of mental health anxiety or illness or trauma upcoming.

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Speaker 1: So the two the two most common arenas I think

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Speaker 1: of concern are various anxiety issues which people are experiencing

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Speaker 1: and various depressive issues which people are experiencing. And um,

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Speaker 1: so things like I said, aerubic exercise eyes really getting

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Speaker 1: your heart rate up for thirty minutes a day, multiple

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Speaker 1: times a week, has been shown to actually go head

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Speaker 1: to head with medication from mild to moderate depression. Clinical

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Speaker 1: depression definitely reduces anxiety. UM definitely reduced the stress level,

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Speaker 1: so that that is that is a no brainer UM

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Speaker 1: doing something taking five minutes in the morning and five

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Speaker 1: minutes in the day to do something like UM. Deep

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Speaker 1: abdominal breathing, which is breathing into your nose to account

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Speaker 1: of five and out to account of seven. This pattern

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Speaker 1: kind of breathing which it first would feel weird and

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Speaker 1: be uncomfortable, and you want to start by doing it

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Speaker 1: lying down, since you can put your hand over your

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Speaker 1: abdomen and have that part of your lower chest essentially

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Speaker 1: for the inhale because you want you want your lungs

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Speaker 1: to fill deeply. That kind of pattern breathing actually has

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Speaker 1: been shown to really reduce physiologic anxiety, which actually then

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Speaker 1: reduced the anxiety in your mind. Similarly, deep muscle relaxation,

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Speaker 1: which is squeezing muscle groups starting with your toes and

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Speaker 1: eventually moving all the way up to your face to

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Speaker 1: account of five as tight as you can, and then

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Speaker 1: relaxing it slowly to account of five, again reducing physiological anxiety.

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Speaker 1: Social support super important do you have people that you

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Speaker 1: have in your life that you can really talk with

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Speaker 1: about how you're really feeling. Not the you know, they

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Speaker 1: I gotta put on a good face for you kind

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Speaker 1: of friends, but like really people that you can be

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Speaker 1: intimate with and really talk. UM. Journaling is very helpful

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Speaker 1: for some people to really write down their feelings and

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Speaker 1: even take their temperature every day to objectively see, like

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Speaker 1: on a scale one to ten, how is my new today?

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Speaker 1: Like is it am I really having a hard time?

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Speaker 1: Or actually I reflect back not so much, which gives

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Speaker 1: you perspective. Um. These kinds of things built in really help. UM.

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Speaker 1: But I would also tell people that if they are

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Speaker 1: finding that they're their mood or their anxiety level is

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Speaker 1: interfering with their ability to function day to day at all,

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Speaker 1: interrupting sleep, appetite, no libido, really highly irritable or highly hopeless,

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Speaker 1: and you can't really function you in your usual way, um,

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Speaker 1: even when you make effort, then it might be time

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Speaker 1: to you know, just check in with a therapist and

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Speaker 1: have an evaluation. Yeah. I also think people who are

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Speaker 1: you know how in our friend groups there's like the

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Speaker 1: person who usually is the support person for everybody you

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Speaker 1: know one final column, the next frontal column, and they

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Speaker 1: support everybody. I think those people also, I want to

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Speaker 1: if you're one of those people in your friend group,

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Speaker 1: I want to encourage you to reach out to people

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Speaker 1: as well. I know people in my life who are

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Speaker 1: very supportive of many people, and then they're like, man,

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Speaker 1: can somebody just ask me how I'm doing instead of

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Speaker 1: dumping all of their issues on me. Um So, but

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Speaker 1: you need to be open and honest and share your

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Speaker 1: I'm a very strong guy as well. I can handle

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Speaker 1: a lot of stuff as well, but I've learned as

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Speaker 1: well I need to reach out to ask for help.

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Speaker 1: I need, you know, because my friends are struggling to

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Speaker 1: or or maybe they're doing great or but like it,

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Speaker 1: It's very easy for people to somewhat miss you. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot going on in the world, a lot going

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Speaker 1: on in our lives, and I want to encourage people

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Speaker 1: to voice if they have issues, voice it to friends,

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Speaker 1: raise it with friends, and it's amazing when you do,

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Speaker 1: your friends will line up to help you as much

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Speaker 1: as they possibly can. Tree what what can you what

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Speaker 1: advice can you give to our listeners right now about

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Speaker 1: um about struggling with family, love, and and that kind

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Speaker 1: of structure. So kids, let's separate it into kids, and

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Speaker 1: then let's start with relationship. People that are struggling with relationship.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna advice that you can give to support people

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Speaker 1: struggling with relationship. Yeah, I mean, I think Gail would agree.

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Speaker 1: She's probably seeing it in her practice to that relationships

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Speaker 1: are taking a heavy hit right now. You know, we're

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Speaker 1: quarantining with people were all up in each other's business

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Speaker 1: more than ever, and I think there's some blessings in that,

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Speaker 1: but it's been it's been hard on relationships. I think

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Speaker 1: we've heard predictions that divorce rates are going to rise

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Speaker 1: during this moment in time, Domestic violence is up, and

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Speaker 1: I think for women in particular, we go to fear.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's so easy to go to fear right

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Speaker 1: now and feel disconnection. I think connection is our number

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Speaker 1: one need. It's how we survive through relationship. It's also

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Speaker 1: like the number one indicator of job satisfaction or deep

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Speaker 1: and meaningful relationships. So um talk about relationships at home

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Speaker 1: and at work, because at home, I think communication is

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Speaker 1: everything right now, like you know, channel a little burn

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Speaker 1: a brown and being super vulnerable and honest about what

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Speaker 1: you need and how you're feeling and where where you're hurting.

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Speaker 1: You know, there's there's a lot of a lot that

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Speaker 1: I work on with people in this realm because I

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Speaker 1: don't think we really have these communication structures and these tools.

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Speaker 1: We didn't learn them in school. But to baseline start,

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Speaker 1: it's just being really real, setting aside time to be

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Speaker 1: honest about how you're feeling, and sharing fears because I

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Speaker 1: know one of my greatest teachers is saying over and

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Speaker 1: over and over again, um, do not let fear be

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Speaker 1: your guide. It's the opposite of love. And women, I

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Speaker 1: think when we're in our full feminine power, we are love.

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Speaker 1: We are the pure vessels of love. And I think

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Speaker 1: we look outside of ourselves when we're in fear to

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Speaker 1: get it and if we could remember that we're the

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Speaker 1: source of it and to do everything that might nurture

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Speaker 1: love flowing through our own bodies, and that starts with ourselves,

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Speaker 1: which is I see a lot of women being phenomenally

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Speaker 1: hard on themselves right now because they just feel like

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Speaker 1: they can't do anything well. And so to start really

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Speaker 1: with the practices, a lot of what Gail said, I

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Speaker 1: would have totally underscored and plus one, um, really looking

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Speaker 1: at what are the conditions that I require as a

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Speaker 1: woman right now to do my best? What are the

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Speaker 1: conditions so at work? If people are loading up workloads

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Speaker 1: on me and I I've got workstreams glore and I

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Speaker 1: can't ask for help that I will underscore both of

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Speaker 1: you saying that that you have to learn how to

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Speaker 1: say I actually can't do all this, and delegate and

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Speaker 1: learn how to be real with your boss and ask

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Speaker 1: for If I'm going to say yes to something, I've

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Speaker 1: got to say no to other things, or say no

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Speaker 1: to what something's asking somebody's asking for to say yes

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Speaker 1: to other things and be real about it. A lot

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Speaker 1: of these companies that I work with are very you know,

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Speaker 1: we've been trained to be so utterly polite and achieving

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Speaker 1: and good and all of this, and it precludes the

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Speaker 1: humanity that I think we all need to give ourselves

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Speaker 1: right now. It's amazing. Yeah, and UM, further to that,

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Speaker 1: when when I think about that, when you're speaking there,

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Speaker 1: the thing that I'm listening to or the thing that's

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Speaker 1: going on in my mind is when I start to

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Speaker 1: feel anxious or have stress about something. The initial reason

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Speaker 1: and cause for that is feeling overwhelmed. Yeah, I feel

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Speaker 1: overwhelmed and like I gotta do this, I gotta do this,

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Speaker 1: get this. I should have said no to something and

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Speaker 1: then and then I have anxiety and stress. Um, Gail,

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Speaker 1: how do we how do we say no? How do

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Speaker 1: we learn to say no? How do we lower that

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Speaker 1: overwhelmed feeling? A lot of people are feeling overwhelmed with

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Speaker 1: many things, like you said, job, kids, relationship, the upcoming election,

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Speaker 1: the future, this how long is this going? Like? How

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Speaker 1: do we how do we stop from feeling so overwhelmed? Well,

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Speaker 1: a big part right now of people feeling overwhelmed has

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Speaker 1: to do with uncertainty. Right, we need to not know

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Speaker 1: when this will end, if this will end, and um,

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Speaker 1: we you know, on it on a on a global level, right,

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Speaker 1: and so it seems like things keep coming and we

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Speaker 1: don't know how they'll get resolved, if they'll end, and

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Speaker 1: we on a day to day level, there's that creates

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Speaker 1: all kinds of uncertainty. You know, people usually feel calmer

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Speaker 1: and structure of some sort, and so to have this

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Speaker 1: level of constant uncertainty is driving tremendous amount of anxiety

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Speaker 1: and then the other feeling you sort of described was

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Speaker 1: was the stress of burnout, which is taking on and

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Speaker 1: taking on um and and and for women, the numbers

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Speaker 1: that recently come out is, you know, women are basically

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Speaker 1: working a seventy hour work week because they're the primary

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Speaker 1: caretakers usually of the kids, and so they're everybody's at home.

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Speaker 1: You know, everybody's working from home. So they're they're working,

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Speaker 1: they're working the house, they're working the kids, and they

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Speaker 1: have a seven hour work week to to to uh

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Speaker 1: their partners fift year work week. So you know, there

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Speaker 1: there is like a tremendous amount of burnout and um,

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Speaker 1: as Sheeri was was pouring out, like we feel like

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Speaker 1: we're supposed to we're we're supposed to be. You know,

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Speaker 1: we're really a good woman. We're gonna we're gonna say

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Speaker 1: yes to everything and do everything. And you know, so

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Speaker 1: as you so you're saying, you keep so two things

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Speaker 1: I think have to happen. One is how can you

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Speaker 1: learn to live with and accept a degree of uncertainty.

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Speaker 1: It's not something that we usually consciously think a lot about,

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Speaker 1: but it is something in this instance I'm saying would

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Speaker 1: really be helpful to you to think about. Um, you know,

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Speaker 1: we basically say, what am I anxious about? It's a

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Speaker 1: that's a that's an appropriate danger signal for things going on.

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Speaker 1: Let me do my problem solving in relation to that.

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Speaker 1: And once I've done whatever concrete problem solving I can do,

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Speaker 1: any anxiety left over is just refloat uncertainty anxiety, and

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Speaker 1: I have to just let it be. I can't attack it,

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Speaker 1: I can't send it off, and just kind of it's

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Speaker 1: gonna float there. I don't have to react to it.

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Speaker 1: I have to know that there's not a thing to do.

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Speaker 1: It just is. And I know that sounds kind of weird,

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Speaker 1: but it's something that you actually have the practice, and

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Speaker 1: the more you practice it, actually the more the anxiety

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Speaker 1: receives because it's the mental if the brand's fight with

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Speaker 1: this anxiety about uncertainty, that drives anxiety up. And in

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Speaker 1: terms of burnout, what we know from all kinds of

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Speaker 1: studies about burnout and care give a burnout, that it happens,

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Speaker 1: it's bad for your mind, it's bad for your body.

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Speaker 1: It raises your cortisol level, which which creates a lot

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Speaker 1: of different kinds of health issues. So it is vitally

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Speaker 1: important that if you are the caregiver of everything that

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Speaker 1: you simply offload it. You've got to say no to

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Speaker 1: some word things You've got to say, you know, to

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Speaker 1: your partner, I need you to take this and this

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Speaker 1: and this or mom, this is going on. Would you

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Speaker 1: be able to do this in this or hey, friend,

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Speaker 1: can meet as a community, say today we in my backyard,

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Speaker 1: and tomorrow be in your backyard and we'll take you.

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Speaker 1: There are ways to sort of brainstorm around bringing people

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Speaker 1: in to offload some of the stuff. In addition to

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Speaker 1: the saying no, which is hard, as she's pointing out,

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Speaker 1: women tend to often feel guilty. I'm not supposed to

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Speaker 1: and you just have to like get with yourself and

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Speaker 1: say you are not helping anybody. If your well is dry,

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Speaker 1: there is no water for anyone, So you have to

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Speaker 1: set some of it from an empty Yeah, so you

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Speaker 1: have some well. I could just even add on to

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Speaker 1: what Gail just said about handling uncertainty. It's so true,

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Speaker 1: they say, to people who can handle a lot of

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Speaker 1: uncertainty do the best in life. And the way to

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Speaker 1: also counterbalance it is to get enough certainty. So dial

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Speaker 1: in on what would make you feel safe, what make

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Speaker 1: you feel in control? You know, a good plan. I

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Speaker 1: always get asked for like what's my plan, you know,

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Speaker 1: or really tending to the finances, Like that's another fear

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Speaker 1: for a lot of women. So get a great advice

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Speaker 1: person on your team, somebody who's in that realm to say,

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Speaker 1: take care of me, tell me what I should be

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Speaker 1: doing right now. You know, anything that would give you safety, comfort,

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Speaker 1: pleasure to balance out the uncertainty will be huge. I think, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that. I think all of those are really important. Safety, comfort,

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Speaker 1: and I love the last one you said was pleasure.

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Speaker 1: But because I think a lot of people right now

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Speaker 1: are overlooking that element of life. It's become a struggle

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Speaker 1: and a survive atmosphere versus like an adapt and thrive atmosphere.

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Speaker 1: So like people are like, oh, I'm locked in my house,

408
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 1: Well you're not locked in your house. Your your front

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Speaker 1: door still opens. Like in l A. Everybody feels so

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Speaker 1: contained in l A. But the Angelos nash Old Forest

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00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 1: is only thirty minutes outside of l A. You can

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Speaker 1: go for a hype nature. You know, like life is changing,

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Speaker 1: it's very different than it was before. But with that

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Speaker 1: brings different opportunities. I've also had lots of friends that

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Speaker 1: have said, I've ever havill of connection with my family

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Speaker 1: and my kids. The things I've get to see that

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Speaker 1: i'd be around my kids so much, It's been absolutely amazing.

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Speaker 1: It's been a blessing to me. It's reinvigorated my family

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Speaker 1: life versus getting so focused on career. Um, yeah, what

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Speaker 1: do you see? We really have a couple of minutes left.

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Speaker 1: But what do you think what do you see as

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Speaker 1: some long lasting effects of this quarantine slash COVID time. Well,

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Speaker 1: I think people are going to realize that they are

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Speaker 1: made of stronger stuff than they realized in some ways, right, Um,

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Speaker 1: and uh they that I think maybe people are building

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Speaker 1: coping tools to last down Um, that they can't take

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Speaker 1: for granted. A lot of the things in life and

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Speaker 1: in the world that we have, that we that you have,

429
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 1: and many people who are reorienting their priorities like what really,

430
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, this makes me think what really matters to me?

431
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,199
Speaker 1: This relationship really matters. I mean, you're this you know,

432
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 1: whatever it is, And and that's not a bad thing

433
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 1: because sometimes you know, when you walk around feeling kind

434
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: of invincible and kind of like life's forever, and you know,

435
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 1: this has made us sort of pulled us up short

436
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 1: and said, oh, maybe those things aren't true and um,

437
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 1: and that's and that changes priorities. And I also want

438
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 1: to make a pitch for in terms of improving mood

439
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 1: by the way, um, the importance of relating into what

440
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 1: you said, gratitude as a practice, um that even if

441
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 1: things are difficult, there's almost always something you can think

442
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 1: of during the day which you do feel grateful a person,

443
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 1: a cup of coffee, but like almost and and making

444
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 1: a mental note in me those each day for several

445
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 1: weeks actually will boost mood and reduced anxiety and giving back.

446
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,680
Speaker 1: So yeah, you can go out and have pleasurable and

447
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 1: actually a greadurable thing to do is to brandstorm away

448
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,919
Speaker 1: to be giving, giving to people around you, or giving

449
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 1: on a community level. And those things are very tied

450
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 1: to mental health as well well. Um, and they are

451
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: often very pleasurable in in kind of unique way. Gratitude

452
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: is a massive one. UM. A while back I did

453
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: the four kind of values of my life, four Pillars

454
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:32,199
Speaker 1: of my life and gratitude um of of happiness and

455
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 1: what a full life looks like for me, and gratitude

456
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 1: was one of those and I noticed that when I

457
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 1: started getting into sort of a grumpy, grouchy mood, the

458
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,359
Speaker 1: first pillar of my life that started to fall away

459
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 1: was gratitude. As soon as gratitude started falling away, I

460
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 1: started it was like what I didn't have? What was

461
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 1: going wrong? What was And I was like, Wow, that's

462
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: actually a lack of gratitude is actually leading to my

463
00:26:56,000 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 1: my disrupted state, a less than peak state. And uh,

464
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 1: it's actually during COVID time, it's actually brought prayer back

465
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,640
Speaker 1: into my life a lot. I pray three times a day.

466
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,400
Speaker 1: I pray before every meal. Um. I used to pray

467
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 1: just at supper time, but now I pray before every meal,

468
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,720
Speaker 1: and I just say whatever comes out. Thankful for my dog,

469
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 1: Thankful for this beautiful park that I'm able to take

470
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: him to. Thankful for the opportunity to have a conversation

471
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 1: with you ladies today. And I just say things that

472
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,200
Speaker 1: I don't I don't plan, I don't have a specific

473
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 1: prayer that I say, just you know, thank you for

474
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 1: this food, thank you for the hands that prepared to

475
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 1: um all this kind of stuff. And it's just warms

476
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 1: my heart and it's actually been something I look forward

477
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 1: to when I sit down for every single meal to

478
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 1: say a prayer and see what comes out. It's really

479
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,120
Speaker 1: helped me immensely. Um Shree, do you have any other

480
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 1: advice for our community, for the ladies of our community,

481
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 1: of the listeners of our community, help them struggle. Yeah,

482
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:51,160
Speaker 1: And what you just said is so huge because that's

483
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 1: the antidote to fear Brooks, Like, you know, practicing gratitude

484
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 1: just means that fear can't really be present and you

485
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:04,360
Speaker 1: are actually elevating your state of being higher than where

486
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 1: where the world is pulling us down to, you know,

487
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:12,679
Speaker 1: So that's another act of control and personal freedom, you know,

488
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 1: to do that. I think my big focus with people

489
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 1: right now is anchoring them and orienting them to what

490
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 1: is going on? Where where am I in this crazy

491
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 1: scene because everybody feels a little lost at see, you know,

492
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 1: in the waves keep crashing, And I think that this

493
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 1: is just my understanding having studied so much with scholars

494
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 1: and stages, and this this time that we're in was

495
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 1: predicted thousands of years ago. It's we're like right on schedule.

496
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 1: And everybody wants to say it's the apocalypse and and

497
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 1: it is in a way, but it's not what we

498
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 1: have been sold through all the movies. It's an ending

499
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 1: of things as we know it, which I think could

500
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 1: be the greatest thing that ever happened to us. And

501
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 1: if you center into that storyline, you know that I'm

502
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 1: a part of a changing of history of a new era. Maybe.

503
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 1: I know. Zach Bush, who I love, says, if you

504
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 1: were born right now for this, you have a big purpose.

505
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 1: And I'm always zooming people out to remember what's the

506
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 1: bigger picture, Like, yeah, our finances, are relationships, are health,

507
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: everything is like crazy, But what's the really big thing

508
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 1: going on? And how can I remember that? That's that

509
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 1: helps you say? No, you know that helps you say like,

510
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 1: actually I want to tell my grandkids a different story

511
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 1: about what what I did in this time. Yeah, amazing. Um, Gail,

512
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 1: anything to add to that. I'm gonna let you ladies

513
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: go here in a second. Anything to add to that.

514
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 1: The best advice you could leave our listeners with, Um,

515
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 1: everybody needs self care. And I think, um, you know

516
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 1: this this time because it is a particularly stressful and

517
00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 1: difficult time, more than ever, everybody needs self care. So

518
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 1: I would just say, you know, there are many ways

519
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 1: to do that. Um, but you kind of have to

520
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: make it a priority, I guess I'll say, And whether

521
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,960
Speaker 1: that's self care within your relationship or within your finances,

522
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 1: or what you put you know, into your body, um,

523
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,239
Speaker 1: and and what you do with your mind. I just

524
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 1: would would say that, you know, I'm pleased to say,

525
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 1: we're coming out of a time where self care and

526
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 1: and certainly mental health care was so stigmatized that people

527
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 1: you know couldn't acknowledge or wouldn't tell others. And I

528
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 1: think we're really coming out of that. I'm glad to say. Um,

529
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 1: So the most important thing is acknowledged to yourself. Acknowledge

530
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 1: your own story to yourself, because that's the only way

531
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 1: you can rewrite your story right and and uh and

532
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 1: and and make alterations um. And physiologically uh, feed your

533
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 1: feed your body so you can feed your mind. Um.

534
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 1: And I think, uh, you know, like I said, I

535
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 1: think many of us will turn out to come out

536
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,560
Speaker 1: more resilient in the end and have built tools. You know,

537
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:08,959
Speaker 1: you can't build resilience if if every the way is paved,

538
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 1: if the way is smooth. I'm trying to talk to

539
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 1: parents about this all the time. If you paved the

540
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 1: way for your child and they can never make mistakes

541
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 1: or fall down because you picked them up as they

542
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 1: were even heading down. UM. Then they can't build the

543
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 1: coping tools, they can't learn that they can overcome, that

544
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 1: they can that they have that strength in them, and

545
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: then when really more difficult stuff happens, they don't feel equipped.

546
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 1: So the same thing is true for adults. And so

547
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 1: I do think that out of this people are going

548
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: to find that they had stuff in them. They didn't

549
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 1: know that, they've accrudd certain abilities and strength they didn't

550
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 1: know they had UM and that will will leave them

551
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 1: fitter for life. H I agree with you. I had

552
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 1: a friend that was talking about recently. I was talking

553
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 1: to him and he said about life and relationship. He

554
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 1: was talking about relationship that applied it to life as well.

555
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 1: He said, a relations and ship when given a conflict,

556
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 1: if that conflict can be peacefully resolved, the relationship is

557
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 1: stronger for having had that conflict and thus in a

558
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 1: better position moving forward. And I was wonderful. It applies

559
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 1: to life, It applies to relationship, career, many things. So

560
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 1: it was very relevant for this conversation. Um Sharie, where

561
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: can our community find you? Uh Shari? Healy dot com

562
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 1: and the luminaries on social Yes, okay, awesome. Uh and

563
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 1: we'd love to have you back on the Sanciery because

564
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 1: I've got a world of problems amongst the men here

565
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 1: that you can get with. Uh, Dr Gale, where can

566
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 1: where can our me at doctor Gale Salts. Um, they

567
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: can find me at www dot dot Dale Salts dot com. Um.

568
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 1: They want sort of more information about the kind of

569
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: things that I'm talking about, they can check out my

570
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 1: book mentioned The Power is Different and um and yes,

571
00:32:55,560 --> 00:33:01,600
Speaker 1: I actually uh I have already personology. I heard podcasts up,

572
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 1: but I'm I'm about to begin another one that will

573
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 1: be very specifically mental health care for women. So um,

574
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 1: they can they can tune into that as well. Amazing,

575
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 1: the world needs more of it. Ladies, Thank you so much,

576
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 1: and we'll be back with two more special guests right

577
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 1: after this break back from break. Our first two guests

578
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 1: were amazing, so helpful, and now we have two more amazing, brilliant, intelligent,

579
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 1: very successful women here to help us navigate this COVID,

580
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 1: this very uncertain time of life. Um. It's fascinating to

581
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 1: see where the world is, where the world was, where

582
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 1: the world is and where the world is going to

583
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 1: go and a big part of that has been finances. Uh,

584
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 1: And so we have a special guest on with us

585
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 1: right now who's going to help with that. And then

586
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 1: we have we also want to continue any of the

587
00:33:56,120 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, anxiety and how do we get control,

588
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 1: how do we get some sort of semblance of control

589
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 1: and start coming out of this pandemic. So our next

590
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 1: guest is named by Urban Influence magazine is one of

591
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 1: the twenty Hottest Influencers in America. She is an author,

592
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 1: entertainment executive, and celebrity financial coach who helps others face

593
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 1: their money issues and achieve personal, professional, and spiritual harmony.

594
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,800
Speaker 1: She has two more than two decades worth of experience

595
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 1: in the banking and real estate sales industries. She's featured

596
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 1: regularly on The Steve TV Show, The Hallmark Channel's Home

597
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:35,800
Speaker 1: and Family Show, and b ET Networks. Dr Lynn Richardson,

598
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 1: Welcome to the show. Hi, thank you so much for

599
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 1: the beautiful invitation. Yeah, thank you so much. I'm so excited.

600
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 1: Finances are a big stressor and it's causing stress in relationships,

601
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 1: not just in life, but in relationships. So we want

602
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,760
Speaker 1: to get into the finances, especially with you and also

603
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:57,800
Speaker 1: joining us, we have another very special guests, very talented,

604
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 1: brilliant guests. She is a licensed clinical psycho oologists with

605
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 1: the private practice in Beverly Hills and specializes in the

606
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: treatment of couples and relationships, depression, anxiety, trauma, grief, and

607
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 1: eating disorders. She believes that therapy is not magic, but

608
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 1: rather a process that requires work, commitment, and faith, and

609
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 1: it is slow, steady changes that lead to sustained changes.

610
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 1: Dr Hillary Goldscher, Welcome to the show. Thank you for

611
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: having me. Guys, I appreciate you so much. Um this

612
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: has been We're gonna go. We're gonna go rapid boom

613
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 1: boom boom. Here we go. Um. We want to serve

614
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 1: our community as much as possible. Um Lynn, what are

615
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,799
Speaker 1: you seeing in the world of finances right now? What

616
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,880
Speaker 1: are we supposed to do with our fire? We're supposed

617
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 1: to spend money, not spend money. Should we be saving?

618
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 1: Why our finances causing us such stress in our lives

619
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 1: and our relationships? Well, I'll answer the first question. The

620
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 1: first question is we shouldn't be spending money. We can't

621
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:58,399
Speaker 1: go anywhere anyway, right, So social distancing and staying home.

622
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: It's good for the budget. We are facing what could

623
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 1: possibly be the worst recession of all time, and so

624
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 1: I encourage folks to one uh store as much cash

625
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,320
Speaker 1: as you can, get rid of as many unnecessary subscriptions

626
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 1: and things like that as you can minimize if you can,

627
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 1: and stack your cash. Take advantage of the offers by

628
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 1: almost every finance or lender company in the in the

629
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:28,359
Speaker 1: country where they're offering extensions of time to pay. Now

630
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 1: it's not the time to be a financial hero. Now,

631
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,560
Speaker 1: it's not the time to prepay everything down as soon

632
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:36,720
Speaker 1: as you get your money. Because people are losing their jobs,

633
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:40,280
Speaker 1: many big companies are figuring out ways to keep people

634
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:42,879
Speaker 1: at home and to get rid of the workforce now

635
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,360
Speaker 1: that they see that we can work at home and

636
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 1: be effective. So that really is cash is king. But

637
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 1: the beautiful thing is right now, um home based businesses

638
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 1: are winning. Everybody should have a home based business. I

639
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 1: feel like Noah when he was telling everybody to get

640
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 1: in the art and nobody believed him. And I've been

641
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 1: saying for the past twelve years at least, it seems

642
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 1: like every single day everybody needs a home based business.

643
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 1: And so now is it's time to tap into that creativity.

644
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:09,719
Speaker 1: Now is the time to do that, uh, you know,

645
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 1: to go after that drink that you never thought you could.

646
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 1: Now is the time to re energize, to reorganize, to reboot, uh,

647
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 1: and to take the advantage of this time where we

648
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 1: get to hit the reset button. I love what you

649
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 1: just said there because it's a blend of two things.

650
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,759
Speaker 1: It's a blend of being conservative and smart with a

651
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 1: blend of being bold. Right. It's like it's an it's

652
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:36,319
Speaker 1: let's be smart. Let's say there's someone certaint you're okkase,

653
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:40,959
Speaker 1: so let's let's position ourselves well there. But also let's

654
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 1: utilize this new opportunity that the world has presented to us,

655
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 1: because I don't want people to just go into a

656
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 1: hunker down, bunker like life preservation mode, because there are

657
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 1: tremenous opportunities that are opening up that we have to

658
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 1: see and have to create. But they're there. If you

659
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 1: look at I think the financial crisis, out of oh

660
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 1: eight there were of the most brilliant companies that came

661
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 1: out of that crisis. There was I think an eighteen

662
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,479
Speaker 1: month stretch whereas Uber, Twitter, Instagra, a lot of these

663
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: massive companies came out of that stretch of of chaos

664
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:16,800
Speaker 1: in the world, and so this is a unique pocket

665
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 1: of life for people to see it as an opportunity

666
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:23,880
Speaker 1: if they can um. On the family front, Hillary, what

667
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 1: are your your clients? What are what are some of

668
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,000
Speaker 1: the biggest issues that you are seeing in relation to

669
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 1: in relation to relationships, what are people struggling with? Is

670
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 1: it finances that people are struggling with the most? Is

671
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:39,320
Speaker 1: a connection or too much proximity? What are you seeing

672
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,560
Speaker 1: that people are struggling with the most? Yeah, I think

673
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 1: the family unit is it's really struggling during this time

674
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:49,240
Speaker 1: in many ways. I mean being all under one roof

675
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: and having to manage professional life, personal connections, and in

676
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 1: most many cases school um can be quite chaotic, and

677
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:59,719
Speaker 1: I would say there are a lot of reports of anxiety.

678
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 1: Family is anxious and anxious about the way in which

679
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 1: their life paradigm has shifted, Anxious about doing homeschooling properly,

680
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 1: anxious about feeling somewhat disconnected in their relationships. Although we're

681
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 1: all spending more time together, there's enough stress and enough

682
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 1: anxiety that that time has been somewhat compromised. So I

683
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 1: would say there's a myriad of vicious that have come

684
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 1: come up, but those are sort of the highlights that

685
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 1: I've been hearing quite frequently. You do you see a

686
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 1: lot of people and did you see people struggling because

687
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,359
Speaker 1: they haven't accepted this new norm yet that they want

688
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: what was? Is that causing people to struggle that they

689
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 1: haven't accepted like, Okay, it looks like we're probably going

690
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 1: like this for another six years or a month or

691
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,920
Speaker 1: six months or a year um, and I need to

692
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:57,880
Speaker 1: somewhat embrace this new kind of norm versus wishing what was? Yes,

693
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 1: and and people m yeah. And in my view, I

694
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 1: call that grief in part. You know that many people

695
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 1: are still grieving and appropriately so the loss of what was,

696
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 1: and in some ways we have to honor that process

697
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: and not catapult them or push them into a place

698
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 1: they're not ready for. But right there's this balance of

699
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 1: acceptance and acknowledgement so you can be fluid and adjust.

700
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,760
Speaker 1: So I find that to be a really difficult task

701
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 1: for most individuals and most family units. Is that balance

702
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 1: between grieving over what was and it's appropriate. There's there's

703
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:40,280
Speaker 1: no blueprint for this. Never has the world been affected

704
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:44,280
Speaker 1: in such a such a unique, incredulous way. But also

705
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 1: we have to show resilience and we have to help

706
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 1: our family find a new way of being. So I

707
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 1: absolutely think that's at the heart of what a lot

708
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 1: of families and individuals are struggling with. UM. Yeah, I

709
00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 1: agree so too, and and but I think there's a

710
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 1: tremendous amount of optimism for the future, but in certain

711
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 1: times it's very difficult to see that one of these times.

712
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,480
Speaker 1: Could this could be one of those times? Um, Lynn,

713
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:15,839
Speaker 1: what are you seeing with have you seen the financial

714
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:19,759
Speaker 1: blowback to the family structure the connection there, like potentially

715
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 1: if one person loses their job, is that putting more

716
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:26,840
Speaker 1: stress on families and relationships? Um? What are you seeing

717
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 1: in relation to finances related to the relationship? UM, I

718
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 1: definitely think it's causing stress for the family, particularly when

719
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 1: one person loses the job, and if that person was

720
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 1: the breadwinner um. And quite frankly, whether they were the

721
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 1: breadwinner or not. UM. In today's times, every penny that

722
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:48,479
Speaker 1: comes as the household it usually has a purpose. So

723
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:52,760
Speaker 1: for those two parented working homes, every dollar has a purpose,

724
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 1: whether it be for the household, whether it be for childcare,

725
00:41:56,680 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 1: UM or college for you know, a college student. I

726
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 1: really think that this is the time right now to

727
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 1: hit the reset button and to hit uh to set

728
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 1: new expectations. Unfortunately, I don't think we really understand or

729
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 1: that we really get a chance to appreciate the fact

730
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 1: that many of us were probably addicted to a lifestyle

731
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 1: that although we miss it and it felt good like

732
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 1: a drug, it wasn't good for us, right. But you

733
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:28,799
Speaker 1: still have the attachment to whatever the thing was, and

734
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 1: so having the opportunity to go cold turkey is giving

735
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 1: us an opportunity to see what we have left. And

736
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 1: although that may be a difficult task. I think one

737
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 1: of the things that families are doing. I was on

738
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 1: another national news show a couple of weeks ago, and

739
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 1: I was talking to the parents about staying relevant in

740
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 1: their jobs, and then I was talking to them about

741
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 1: hiring their kids to work in their home based business.

742
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 1: You have your kids at home all day anyway, the

743
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 1: I R. S says, you can hire those kids to

744
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:58,360
Speaker 1: work in your business. You can pay each child up

745
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:00,839
Speaker 1: to twelve thousand, four hundred dollars a year. That money

746
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: is a tax right off to you. And now you

747
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 1: can take that money that you're paying the child, and

748
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:07,319
Speaker 1: they can pay for all their own things that you

749
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 1: were gonna pay for anyway, but you didn't get a

750
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:12,360
Speaker 1: tax fright off for those things like that computer for

751
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:16,240
Speaker 1: the online learning, or private school tuition, or a video

752
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: game or what have you. So this presents an opportunity

753
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 1: for families to kind of work together more cohesively in

754
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 1: a different way, learning something new. My youngest daughter is

755
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:29,720
Speaker 1: a sophomore at college. They came home spring break, didn't

756
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 1: go back until a couple of weeks ago, But she's

757
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 1: a nineteen years old sophomore in college. She's been working

758
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 1: for me since she was six six years old. Uh yes,

759
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 1: she and her sister's Her sister was seven, her older

760
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 1: sister was eleven, and they've been working for me since

761
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 1: that time. So they understand the value of money, they

762
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:50,439
Speaker 1: understand entrepreneurialism. And I, for one, if I had kids

763
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 1: at home, I don't know how much time they'd spend

764
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 1: learning ABC's in one, two, three, but they'd certainly be

765
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 1: working in the home based business getting an entrepreneurial experience,

766
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 1: helping the family. And I think all those kind of

767
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,840
Speaker 1: things that we're learning that are new are bringing us together.

768
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 1: If we give it, give it a chance. Gold That

769
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:12,800
Speaker 1: was wonderful. So many of our listeners are probably thinking, Boom,

770
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:14,840
Speaker 1: I got three kids here that are now going to

771
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: work because Lynn Richardson gave me the green light to

772
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,560
Speaker 1: put them to work. Absolutely and and the Department of

773
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 1: Labor says, so the Department of Labor, and people don't realize.

774
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,319
Speaker 1: The Department of Labor says that a child of any

775
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,840
Speaker 1: age can work in entertainment. That's why you see babies

776
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:33,800
Speaker 1: on diaper commercials and baby food commercials. A child of

777
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 1: any age can work in entertainment theatrical production. So if

778
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 1: you have a home based business that you need to

779
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 1: promote on the internet, uh, then you can put your

780
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 1: child in the video. They can actor perform in that

781
00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 1: and it's perfectly legal, ethical and moral. The Department of

782
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:50,920
Speaker 1: Labor also says that a child can work in a

783
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:54,360
Speaker 1: parents home based business. A home based business, not your restaurant,

784
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 1: not your corporation that's down the block in the big building.

785
00:44:58,040 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 1: But a child can work in a home parents home

786
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 1: based business at any age for any number of hours,

787
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 1: any day of the week, any time of the day, um,

788
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 1: except for an agricultural infirming. So that presents a huge

789
00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 1: opportunity and and some of the parents say, well, what

790
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:14,719
Speaker 1: can my two year old do? I say, any child

791
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 1: that can work in iPad can work a job. Any

792
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:23,440
Speaker 1: child you can work in iPads, you have a job. Okay, Um,

793
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: you'd be surprised what young kids could do. They cause

794
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:28,040
Speaker 1: they can help with social media. You're slightly older, kids

795
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 1: can help with filing and research and paperwork, and then

796
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 1: your teens, your preteens and up. They My my oldest daughter,

797
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 1: she graduated in north Western She's been running my whole

798
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 1: business and she was thirteen doing data entry and spreadsheets

799
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 1: and things like that. So we really get to tap

800
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,840
Speaker 1: into another part of who we are. I think it's exciting.

801
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 1: I haven't seen a family where the kids aren't excite

802
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 1: excited about getting their own paycheck. Now that means you

803
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:56,720
Speaker 1: have to buy your own things, including your own Christmas toys,

804
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,440
Speaker 1: so you know that can be a bummer. But the

805
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 1: truth is there are ways for us to work together

806
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:06,880
Speaker 1: during this pandemic and win financially. Beautiful, very well, said

807
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 1: um Hilary. I want to ask you about because we

808
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 1: had two previous guests on that we were talking about

809
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:16,399
Speaker 1: how to manage cope and deal with anxiety. And I'm

810
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 1: actually right now going through and doing some counseling and

811
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 1: therapy myself. I'm working through some of the emotions that

812
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:26,600
Speaker 1: I still have remnants of being let go from hockey

813
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 1: being able to retire as a professional athlete. So I'm

814
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: a big advocate for therapy and for counseling. UM, have

815
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 1: you seen an increase in your demand during this time

816
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,359
Speaker 1: or are people too shy to ask for help. I've

817
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:43,399
Speaker 1: absolutely seen an increase during this time, and a notable one,

818
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 1: and and I'm you know, it's unfortunate, but I'm pleased

819
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:49,960
Speaker 1: that people are reaching out and I there I think

820
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:54,840
Speaker 1: it's so important to begin with self compassion. In my opinion,

821
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 1: I think people feel afraid of their anxiety, feel resistant

822
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:04,359
Speaker 1: to their anxiety, and as a result, it can become paralyzing.

823
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 1: And and so I really encourage folks to be super

824
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 1: in touch with quote symptoms that they're having, you know,

825
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 1: ruminating thoughts, uh, physical symptoms, heart raising, stomach lurching, etcetera,

826
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 1: that are invasive and consistent, and to begin with that

827
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 1: self compassion that like, something's going on here, there's something

828
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 1: that I need to pay attention to and get to

829
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 1: the bottom of and you can start with sort of

830
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:30,759
Speaker 1: a self care program that might consist of, you know,

831
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 1: sharing feelings or concerns with trusted others, exercising, journaling, meditating, etcetera.

832
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 1: But if those symptoms continue and are persistent, there's no

833
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 1: shame in reaching out for help. Now is the time

834
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:45,880
Speaker 1: to do it. It's amazing what you just said. I

835
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:50,959
Speaker 1: started smiling because you basically just shared what I've really

836
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,479
Speaker 1: gone through. One of the first things that I've learned

837
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:55,759
Speaker 1: that I learned and I am still learning, is to

838
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 1: have compassion and empathy for myself for what I went

839
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:03,759
Speaker 1: through with being released from hockey. I didn't get to

840
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:07,320
Speaker 1: say I retire, I'm tired, I'm done. I was released.

841
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:10,719
Speaker 1: I was told Brooks you you are done um, and

842
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:14,840
Speaker 1: so I never gave myself empathy. I never had empathy

843
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 1: or compassion for that kind of trauma UM in my life.

844
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 1: And often I think as individuals were very compassionate, very

845
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 1: empathetic for other people, but for ourselves we really overlook it.

846
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:30,719
Speaker 1: And I feel like a lot of people are doing

847
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:34,360
Speaker 1: that right now, and I want this podcast to encourage

848
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,480
Speaker 1: people to have empathy for yourself compassion. Hey, the world

849
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 1: is a tough place right now. It is like the

850
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 1: world is a really tough place. How do we get

851
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:43,880
Speaker 1: people that are struggling with that to have empty and

852
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 1: compassion for themselves to open up? Hillary? Yeah, I I

853
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:52,359
Speaker 1: think it's a risk of being vulnerable, you know, being

854
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 1: vulnerable with oneself, acknowledging that I'm not always strong, I

855
00:48:57,239 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 1: don't always have all the answers. I do struggle, I

856
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 1: do get sad, I don't know everything. You know, being

857
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:07,800
Speaker 1: able to be vulnerable and having a belief that vulnerability

858
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:11,359
Speaker 1: can lead to a better path, can lead to more

859
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 1: connection with oneself and others. It is a tough ask,

860
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 1: There's no question. I think there's a societal edict um

861
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:22,280
Speaker 1: in in many circles that we should um show ourselves

862
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 1: being composed and have it all together and not demonstrate

863
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 1: our so called weaknesses meaning regular feelings. You know, all

864
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 1: of us have fears and anxieties and depression, and why

865
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 1: wouldn't it be exacerbated in some cases given where we

866
00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:41,240
Speaker 1: are today, And so just just being open and willing

867
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:44,920
Speaker 1: to access that vulnerability, and I would just encourage that

868
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 1: when we push down symptoms, when we push them down um,

869
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 1: difficult feelings, painful feelings. We get symptoms, is what I

870
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 1: mean to say. We get symptoms whatever those symptoms are anxiety, depression,

871
00:49:56,600 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 1: drinking too much, fighting with our loved ones, disconnecting, except

872
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 1: or symptoms will show up one way any other. So

873
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 1: instead of pushing them down and having kind of emotional

874
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 1: rent to pay later, let them come up and out.

875
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 1: And if it gets scary and we need support, calling

876
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,760
Speaker 1: a friend or reach out to a therapist, and and

877
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 1: and on the other end of it, it could be

878
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 1: something really, really magical. I've never heard someone be vulnerable

879
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:24,719
Speaker 1: and regret it later in the long run. Never that

880
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:28,879
Speaker 1: was so well said, well said, go ahead, I would

881
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 1: I would like to just throw in there. There's a

882
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 1: flip side to that as well. There are people who

883
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:38,200
Speaker 1: are doing really well who also experience UM fear of success.

884
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 1: This has been one of the busiest times in life

885
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,200
Speaker 1: for me. This has been one of the busiest times

886
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:47,879
Speaker 1: for many of my colleagues that I know. I run

887
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:52,920
Speaker 1: an entertainment firm in Hollywood, and we're selling shows and

888
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:55,920
Speaker 1: contracts and so on and so forth. So while people

889
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 1: have figured out how to pivot UM, there's also a

890
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:02,719
Speaker 1: success factor and I remember one night feeling really afraid, like,

891
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,799
Speaker 1: oh my god, this is everything, It's so much, it's

892
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:08,799
Speaker 1: coming so fast. What if I failed? Like literally I

893
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 1: was afraid of failing, literally afraid of failing and to

894
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:17,319
Speaker 1: be able to know what that is, because sometimes if

895
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:19,360
Speaker 1: you're not honest with yourself, you can divert that to

896
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:21,759
Speaker 1: something else. And then I called a friend and I said,

897
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 1: I'm afraid to succeed. Like who says that? Um, I

898
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:27,839
Speaker 1: just happened to have the awareness to get it out.

899
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 1: It wasn't a formal therapy session, but I did feel

900
00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 1: like I had been counseled. It's a same girl, get

901
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 1: it together, You're okay, take one step at a time.

902
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:40,760
Speaker 1: Because what was also happening, or what has been happening

903
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 1: during the pandemic is those businesses that did get a

904
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:46,480
Speaker 1: chance to thrive. We had to thrive in a pressure cooker.

905
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:50,400
Speaker 1: We had to thrive in uh conditions. I mean this

906
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:53,760
Speaker 1: was early in the pandemic, helping people with their finances

907
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 1: and there's no shipping, there's no movement, there's no restaurants,

908
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 1: there's nothing open. How do you get information to people?

909
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 1: How do ship things? How do you so and then

910
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 1: there's a massive amount of people coming and asking for

911
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 1: help daily, all day, every single day. So it goes

912
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 1: both ways. Where there are those who are feeling um,

913
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:14,440
Speaker 1: extremely vulnerable and confused and not knowing what to do,

914
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:17,440
Speaker 1: and then there's those who are feeling vulnerable because they

915
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:19,919
Speaker 1: have too much to do and are overwhelmed and don't

916
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,799
Speaker 1: know how to handle that success either. So thank you

917
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 1: for that. That was really eye opening to hear and

918
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 1: to receive again. M that I have friends too that

919
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:33,319
Speaker 1: were very very successful right prior to COVID and and

920
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:36,279
Speaker 1: bought new homes, bought lake houses, things and then have

921
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 1: been able to enjoy those during these times and then

922
00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:43,800
Speaker 1: feel guilty because they've actually really enjoyed the quarantine time.

923
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,239
Speaker 1: And that's another set of problems too. It's um, I'm like, well,

924
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 1: share it, share the wealth with with people that are

925
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:53,400
Speaker 1: less fortunate there like I am, I'm employing, I've employed

926
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:56,040
Speaker 1: more gardeners I have. I've brought on this person to

927
00:52:56,040 --> 00:53:00,399
Speaker 1: help on trying to create opportunity. And that's howlet's help

928
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 1: them get over some of their um, their guilt for

929
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 1: for having done well or even doing well during this

930
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 1: COVID time. I know both of you guys are on

931
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 1: a time crunch, so we need to let you go.

932
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:13,640
Speaker 1: We need to get you out here. But undoubtedly our

933
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:16,200
Speaker 1: community is gonna is gonna want to find more about

934
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,560
Speaker 1: you guys and where they can be in contact with you. Um,

935
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:21,879
Speaker 1: Dr Hillary, where can where can people find you? Um

936
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:23,920
Speaker 1: to reach out to you? You're in Beverly Hills, but

937
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:27,399
Speaker 1: are you online anywhere? Best places on my website? Dr

938
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 1: Hillary Goldscher dot com and doctors d R and Hillary

939
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 1: has two else and then gold your g O L

940
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:38,479
Speaker 1: D S h E R perfect Yes, Um and Lynn,

941
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:42,319
Speaker 1: where can people find you? Ask Lynn dot org? Ask

942
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:45,839
Speaker 1: Lynn l I N N no E dot org. Next

943
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:47,719
Speaker 1: time I go to spend a dollar, I'm gonna send

944
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:49,239
Speaker 1: you an email and say is this okay? Can I

945
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 1: buy lunch? Yeah? I need to approve every expenditure around here.

946
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:58,200
Speaker 1: Come on now. Thank you so much with you for

947
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:00,200
Speaker 1: being on how man think. I appreciate your hearts, sharing

948
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,799
Speaker 1: your insight and your knowledge your expertise with our community.

949
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:06,359
Speaker 1: Undoubtedly it's going to help many, many people. So thank

950
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:08,279
Speaker 1: you both so much. I wish you the best health

951
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:11,319
Speaker 1: and happiness. And to everyone else listening to take care

952
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 1: of one another, love one another, and we'll see you

953
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:14,960
Speaker 1: back here for another episode of How Men Think