Speaker 1: Hey, sexy lady, what do you know It's time to
Speaker 1: do the podcast and get down with the show. My
Speaker 1: name is Ron Burgundy, and what I know? I know
Speaker 1: it's time to do a podcast and get it done
Speaker 1: podcast Ron Burgundy Podcast. Hello everyone, my name is Ron
Speaker 1: Burgundy and you are listening to the Ron Burgundy Podcast.
Speaker 1: If you are listening to this and have downloaded it
Speaker 1: by mistake, please turn it off now, turn it off.
Speaker 1: Turn it off. We don't want any new listeners or
Speaker 1: random drive bys. If you will just dedicated and devoted
Speaker 1: listeners to the RB podcast. If you have purposely downloaded
Speaker 1: this and it is your first time listening, then welcome.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the wonderfully inclusive family of the Ron Burgundy Podcast.
Speaker 1: We have a wonderful show for you today. We're going
Speaker 1: to talk about a topic which is truly evergreen. That
Speaker 1: topic Christmas. It doesn't matter what time of year it is.
Speaker 1: I'm always down to discuss Christmas. Every year, the Christmas
Speaker 1: shopping season begins earlier and earlier, and it's still not
Speaker 1: early enough for me. I think holiday shopping should begin
Speaker 1: right after the fourth of July. Watch some fireworks, eat
Speaker 1: some corn on the cob, and then hit cage Jeweler's done. Carolina.
Speaker 1: Did I ever tell you about the time I ran
Speaker 1: into pop superstar Jewel at a cave jewelers? Oh no,
Speaker 1: that's amazing. Yes, it was so fun. You know what.
Speaker 1: I actually saw Katie Perry as Fred Perry. Oh. Interesting,
Speaker 1: And she was just in line. She waited in line
Speaker 1: with us, and then she checked out right, and she said,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe she don't. I mean, I'm thinking she
Speaker 1: talked a little bit with the cash here and sure,
Speaker 1: she just you know, you get it, you get a
Speaker 1: vibe from people. She just seemed like a really good person.
Speaker 1: And did she buy anything? Does she make a purchase? Um? Yeah,
Speaker 1: she made a I mean it almost doesn't matter. I
Speaker 1: can't remember the details of the story, but I remember
Speaker 1: being like, oh, I'm I want to be friends with that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: have you ever seen that was the thing when when
Speaker 1: I saw Jewel and I was like, that's jewel. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's I can't believe it's jewel. And I pulled people
Speaker 1: aside and I'm like, do you know who that is?
Speaker 1: And they were like, yeah, that's jewel. And anyway, I
Speaker 1: wish pictures did you get of her? I must have
Speaker 1: gotten fiftys and video just clicking away and video. And
Speaker 1: but then I was still too shy to say hello.
Speaker 1: That's better, that's probably. That's a nice way of like
Speaker 1: respecting her privacy. She bought a bracelet, a bracelet with
Speaker 1: a charmed bracelet. That's a story. That's the dogs and stars.
Speaker 1: And that's crazy because we both like dogs too, Oh Jewel, Yeah,
Speaker 1: like you like dogs. Jewel like dogs. I like dogs.
Speaker 1: It's so fun when those things line up that way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a coincidence for sure. I remember you told me
Speaker 1: you saw another famous person, Ron Ron Howard claimed direct
Speaker 1: for those of you listening that he's an acclaimed director,
Speaker 1: a real artist, and a child actor and an adult
Speaker 1: actor Richie Cunningham and Opie Cunningham. Yeah, he was just
Speaker 1: leaving a hotel with his family and he just seemed
Speaker 1: like a family guy, you know, and he put on
Speaker 1: a hat. Oh was it was he out of Howard
Speaker 1: Johnson's or was it just a regular hotel? It was Rearward,
Speaker 1: So it wasn't Ron Howard at a Howard Johnson No, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: it was just a regular hotel in Los Angeles. But
Speaker 1: that is unfortunately, so it's not a rule. You know, No,
Speaker 1: it's not a rule. Celebrities go everywhere, go to the
Speaker 1: bathroom just like us do. They do. And there's a
Speaker 1: study that just I was just handed this study out
Speaker 1: of Johns Hopkins that celebrities go to the bathroom more
Speaker 1: often than civilians. You're kidding. And I don't know who
Speaker 1: volunteered for that study, but they somehow we're able to
Speaker 1: track it. And that's what's interesting about celebrities. Yeah, whether
Speaker 1: there's so much more interesting than normal people, because by far,
Speaker 1: they'd blow normal people out of the water. When I
Speaker 1: saw Ron Howard, I actually forgot that. I had a
Speaker 1: mom that you know what, that's a that's that's a
Speaker 1: common response when I saw it. When I saw Jewel,
Speaker 1: I forgot I had legs. I just fell into the ground.
Speaker 1: I collapsed. I was like, I can't, I've lost my
Speaker 1: ability to walk. And I was like, no, which, I
Speaker 1: can walk, it takes a second, but I couldn't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was in a I was wheelchair bound for about
Speaker 1: a month after my Jewels siding. By the way, Caroline,
Speaker 1: let me ask you this why we're on the holidays,
Speaker 1: What is your favorite holiday commercial? I want you to
Speaker 1: think on that if you will um for me, it's
Speaker 1: the Budweiser Clydesdale's. I mean, every time I see that commercial,
Speaker 1: I know it's the holidays. Here. They come down a
Speaker 1: snowy lane with bells around their necks, just doing their
Speaker 1: thing that they love to do, and that's pull a
Speaker 1: sleigh full of beer. They don't even know that they're
Speaker 1: in a commercial, and yet they are giving cheer to
Speaker 1: a world desperate for peace and hope. And I swear
Speaker 1: to you, and I'm not being facetious here, but if
Speaker 1: we could get every world leader in a room to
Speaker 1: sit side by side, lock arms and watch the Budweiser
Speaker 1: Clydesdale holiday commercial game over world peace one, war, strive,
Speaker 1: poverty conflict zero. Yeah, that's how strongly I feel about
Speaker 1: that commercial. It's artfully, tastefully done, and it just it
Speaker 1: makes you feel, it makes you feel warm inside. And
Speaker 1: and yet it does not make me want to buy
Speaker 1: bud Wiser. No, but in this political climate, what a
Speaker 1: powerful message, you know it. We need things like this,
Speaker 1: you know, no, no kidding? Yeah, So, do you have
Speaker 1: a favorite holiday commercial that runs during the Christmas season?
Speaker 1: You know, I like the holiday car commercials um where
Speaker 1: the cars have bows on them. Oh yes, when the
Speaker 1: family says, come out, I have something. There's a surprise,
Speaker 1: and then it's a it's the gift. The surprise is
Speaker 1: a gift, and the gift is a car with a
Speaker 1: bow on it. Yeah no, if those are beautiful. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't really like cars or being in cars. Um
Speaker 1: my parents never got me a car. But I just
Speaker 1: think it's cute, like like a puppy with a like
Speaker 1: a puppy coming out of a present box, you know, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: like a fat puppy coming out coming out of a box.
Speaker 1: It's a present, right, and it's on Christmas morning, and
Speaker 1: the kids are excited. I mean, that's on an ad.
Speaker 1: That's just something that's fun to think. I knew we
Speaker 1: had some We had some neighbors, the Jacobson family, and
Speaker 1: they the parents did that and they put the puppy
Speaker 1: in the box for the children and they ran down
Speaker 1: on and it was the one thing they really wanted
Speaker 1: was a puppy. Um. And they ran down and they
Speaker 1: opened all the presents, like there's one more, and they
Speaker 1: opened it and it was the puppy and he was
Speaker 1: just blissfully asleep and they were so excited and then
Speaker 1: they wanted to wake him up, of course, and he
Speaker 1: wouldn't wake up because he was dead. They put the
Speaker 1: puppy in the box too long for a month, and
Speaker 1: they just wrapped it up and kept it under the tree. Well,
Speaker 1: that's a good message for our listeners. You know, if
Speaker 1: you're gonna do you're gonna do it. You know, you
Speaker 1: gotta remember it is a live animal. You've got to
Speaker 1: feed it and keep it alive until Christmas morning, or
Speaker 1: at least. If you're going to leave the puppy in
Speaker 1: the box that long, you should poke holes exactly, poke holes,
Speaker 1: give it a treat occasionally. Um, you know, basic things
Speaker 1: like that. While we're on the subject of commercials, have
Speaker 1: you seen the Medieval Times commercials? I love the Medieval
Speaker 1: Times commercials. I don't care if it's the holidays or not. No,
Speaker 1: those are just good ads. They're great ads. They're not
Speaker 1: even they're just they're like miniature movies. I feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of Game Game of Thrones episodes were based
Speaker 1: on the Medieval Times commercials. Yes, with the swashbuckling and
Speaker 1: the fighting. No, they're so beautifully shot. The turkey legs huzza.
Speaker 1: W D forty has a really good holiday commercial because
Speaker 1: right around the holidays, w D forty always puts out
Speaker 1: its holiday version of a can of w D forty,
Speaker 1: and it's it's not the blue and gold that we've
Speaker 1: come to know and love. It's more of a collector's edition.
Speaker 1: I love the one to where the where the little
Speaker 1: kid has left cookies for Santa by the fireplace and
Speaker 1: falls asleep hoping to catch a glimpse of St. Nick
Speaker 1: and then he and he wakes up just in time,
Speaker 1: and Santa gives him a sly wink before he disappears
Speaker 1: up the chimney. I love that commercial. I love it.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the products for, but every kid
Speaker 1: fantasizes about seeing Santa, every team, everyone. In fact, one
Speaker 1: of my favorite Christmas memories was when I was gosh,
Speaker 1: I must have been seven years old. It was Christmas
Speaker 1: Eve and my mother and I were putting some last
Speaker 1: second decorations on the tree. And we had this this beauty,
Speaker 1: full fake Christmas tree that we would assemble every season.
Speaker 1: It Uh it looked like a fresh Douglas fur from
Speaker 1: about twenty ft away, but up close you could you
Speaker 1: could tell it was a metal tree. Uh. In fact,
Speaker 1: you had to put on oven myths to decorate it,
Speaker 1: or the tree would cut you two shreds. We really
Speaker 1: had to earn it every Christmas in the Burgundy household.
Speaker 1: But it was worth it. It was worth it to
Speaker 1: decorate that, that beautiful thing. And when when we plugged
Speaker 1: in the last string of lights and Mom turned on
Speaker 1: the switch, it would take your breath away. And I'm
Speaker 1: not just saying that, it would just light up and
Speaker 1: and once again though, another reason for the oven myths.
Speaker 1: You couldn't hold onto the tree and plug the lights
Speaker 1: in and at the same time, or you would get electrocuted.
Speaker 1: And I don't mean a light shock electrocuted. I mean
Speaker 1: raccoon crawled into the transformer box to keep warm, electrocuted,
Speaker 1: that kind of electrocuted, char marks, electrocuted, Yeah, turn your
Speaker 1: hair white, electrocuted. I'm talking electrocuted, yeah, zapped. So as
Speaker 1: I was saying we were done decorating the tree, when
Speaker 1: I heard a commotion in the back patio and I
Speaker 1: looked up to see Santa himself with a bag full
Speaker 1: of goodies. It turns out it was our neighbor, doctor
Speaker 1: James tarn Cross, a dermatologist who dressed up every year
Speaker 1: to deliver a fruitcake. Long story short. He was neither
Speaker 1: a doctor, nor a dermatologist or a neighbor, but that's
Speaker 1: for another show. Anyway. I I screamed, Santa is early,
Speaker 1: and I sprinted to give him a hug. And I
Speaker 1: got a full head of steam, running as fast as
Speaker 1: my little legs could take me. Santa was here at
Speaker 1: my house. I just couldn't believe it. So I'm in
Speaker 1: a full sprint right there. Only one problem. We had
Speaker 1: forgotten to put our holiday safety stickers on the sliding
Speaker 1: glass patio door, and I went flying into that door.
Speaker 1: Bamnham breakneck to me, do you ever done that? Even
Speaker 1: run to the patio door like that? I smacked into
Speaker 1: that patio door and I opened up a five inch
Speaker 1: cut on my forehead. It's so there. I was on
Speaker 1: Christmas Eve, sitting in my blood caked footy pajamas, receiving
Speaker 1: stitches from dermatologists and neighbor Dr James tarn Cross once again,
Speaker 1: not a doctor or a dermatologist or a neighbor, just
Speaker 1: a creep with a lot of cologne, trying to get
Speaker 1: into my mom's pants through her kid by dressing as Santa.
Speaker 1: The end, ah do you have a favorite Christmas memory?
Speaker 1: You know, I had a lot of normal Christmas. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that that was before my parents got divorced. But
Speaker 1: my most memorable one is probably when my mom took
Speaker 1: me and my sister to Tijuana. Oh I love t
Speaker 1: j Yeah, that was after my parents got divorced. Um,
Speaker 1: but south of the border. Yeah. We actually took a
Speaker 1: photo on a donkey that was spray painted to look
Speaker 1: like a zebra. And did you think it was a zebra? Yeah? No,
Speaker 1: it was a really it was a really magic That's
Speaker 1: a great childhood memory. Yeah. I didn't really understand divorce,
Speaker 1: so I didn't understand they weren't going to be together
Speaker 1: ever again. Um, and it's just something that I've been
Speaker 1: really still processed or I don't really talk about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a divorce. Yeah, a lot of kids go through it.
Speaker 1: It happens a lot. Yeah. No, I think that doesn't
Speaker 1: minimize the pain of it. But that must have been
Speaker 1: a good Christmas, right Yeah. Yeah, No, definitely, I mean
Speaker 1: it still was Christmas. You still got presents. Just because
Speaker 1: your folks got divorced doesn't mean all of a sudden
Speaker 1: the presence go away. No, No, definitely just just trying
Speaker 1: to say it's totally hard, and sometimes the presents double right,
Speaker 1: that's true Christmas and Dad's Christmas and jack pot that
Speaker 1: Hey Mom, hey dad, can you get a divorce? I
Speaker 1: want to double up my goods. I definitely didn't ask
Speaker 1: for that, but so that's a fun memory. Sure, let's
Speaker 1: just stick with that. By the way, if you're just
Speaker 1: tuning into the Ron Burgundy podcast, Um, you can tune
Speaker 1: into a podcast in the middle of it, can't, you know?
Speaker 1: Not really, you have to fast forward. Okay, Well, if
Speaker 1: you hit the fast forward button and you happen to
Speaker 1: speed to this part, you are listening to the Ron
Speaker 1: Burgundy podcast. We are talking about Christmas. That's our subject
Speaker 1: for today. What what's your favorite Christmas movie? Oh? What
Speaker 1: a good question. Um, probably it's a Wonderful Life with
Speaker 1: Jim Jimmy James Cagney. Oh no, it's a Jimmy Stewart Stewart.
Speaker 1: Is it Stewart or Stewart? I just one s age
Speaker 1: Jimmy Stewart classic. Yeah, no, it was really nice. My
Speaker 1: parents showed it to me right before they told me
Speaker 1: that they were going to get a divorce. Um, and
Speaker 1: that my mom was taking us to Tiajuana for Christmas. Um,
Speaker 1: and it was just like a good reminder that you know,
Speaker 1: they're still good out there. Um and um. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: guess it's something that my favorite Christmas movie is die Hard.
Speaker 1: Oh that's not a Christmas movie, I know, but it
Speaker 1: takes place on Christmas. Okay. That's why on Christmas Day,
Speaker 1: whenever I opened a present that I really like, it is, yeah,
Speaker 1: yippy kai a mother wore each present. Well, if it's
Speaker 1: the present I really like, it's like, oh oh thank you,
Speaker 1: so oh oh my goodness, a Rolex watch yippy ka mother. Wow.
Speaker 1: Even when I walked through a busy mall or shopping
Speaker 1: areat Christmas, I just scream yippy kai a mother far
Speaker 1: Merry Christmas. And I think it gets people in the
Speaker 1: Christmas mood. I don't know it would scare me. I
Speaker 1: walked into a j crue and just yelled yippy kai
Speaker 1: a mother farer. Yeah, I wouldn't. I don't know. If
Speaker 1: I'm going to do that. You should try it. I'm
Speaker 1: telling you. It reminds people. People go, you know kind
Speaker 1: of your similar response like oh that's from die Hard,
Speaker 1: Yeah Christmas movie. You No, not really wish, but I go,
Speaker 1: but it took place on Christmas. They usually give it
Speaker 1: to me because of who I am. Wait, didn't you
Speaker 1: record a Christmas album? Yes, I did, Thank you for asking.
Speaker 1: I actually recorded four Christmas albums, all in the same year,
Speaker 1: my most famous single being of course, Christmas Time. It's
Speaker 1: a wonderful time. It's Christmas time. It's the you time,
Speaker 1: Christmas time. It's time for some cheer, spending some time
Speaker 1: for far a new Christmas time. It's my favorite time.
Speaker 1: It's the only time because it's Christmas time. Quick check
Speaker 1: the clock on the wall, soon say it will go.
Speaker 1: It's Christmas time. Time to time, tod e time time,
Speaker 1: tody time, time to time, aty time, special time, time
Speaker 1: to time, any time to time. You get the We
Speaker 1: didn't realize until it was playing on the radio that
Speaker 1: we had made a hundred and ninety references to time
Speaker 1: in a two and a half minute song. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: but I still think it's one of those songs that
Speaker 1: is such a holiday classic that you don't really think
Speaker 1: about how many time references there are. You're sweet to
Speaker 1: say that, but trust me, that's that's that's not what
Speaker 1: the old internet thinks. Didn't you have to stop reading
Speaker 1: the comments? Yeah, I know. I always that's my New
Speaker 1: Year's resolution every year. Don't the comments because you start
Speaker 1: around nine pm and then it's over and I'm obsessed.
Speaker 1: Try to find the good ones. Yeah, and sometimes you
Speaker 1: got a dig, you know, And I'm like, the good
Speaker 1: ones will come with the rising sun, and they never do.
Speaker 1: Didn't you have another Christmas classic called Crying Shame? Oh?
Speaker 1: You mean it's a crying shame there are no presents tonight.
Speaker 1: It's a crying shame that Christmas won't happen this year.
Speaker 1: No one cares, No one hears, no one sees your
Speaker 1: tears as they drop to the ground on Christmas More
Speaker 1: Infant Jesus. That song I wrote because most, if not
Speaker 1: all Christmas songs are upbeat, and I I just thought
Speaker 1: there'd be a chance for a sad Christmas song in
Speaker 1: the marketplace, and that was proven wrong. But you take
Speaker 1: your lumps and you move on. Sure, I mean, I
Speaker 1: think people appreciate someone who tries something different, and I
Speaker 1: think that song is just ahead of its time. Maybe
Speaker 1: maybe I appreciate that. Probably not. Yeah, I don't think
Speaker 1: anyone is clamoring for a rerelease of crying shame. Um,
Speaker 1: not to be confused with the with the movie Crying Game,
Speaker 1: which is another excellent Christmas movie. Have you seen that movie? Yeah,
Speaker 1: crying You know what happens in that movie? Right? Um?
Speaker 1: You know what? Actually the lady has a ween. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I remember I was in the theater and that moment
Speaker 1: was revealed and the audience was oh, and I just
Speaker 1: was laughing so hard. I burst out laughing. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: usually gets you. The Irish lady who we thought was
Speaker 1: a lady the whole time at a Wiener, I know,
Speaker 1: talk about a Christmas surprise shoes, but that's another good
Speaker 1: Christmas movie, Crying Game. I wouldn't No one can talk
Speaker 1: about the ladies Wiener on the Crying Game. I don't
Speaker 1: recognize that from a Christmas It was a personal friend
Speaker 1: of mine. Then he said I could sing that song,
Speaker 1: so Nick relaxed. We don't have to worry about shelling
Speaker 1: out some dough for that one. We're good. Yeah. Favorite
Speaker 1: Christmas gift. Oh what a good question. But hold on,
Speaker 1: let's take a break and we're back. We are discussing
Speaker 1: Christmas and just one of my favorite topics always brings
Speaker 1: a smile to my face. And uh, let's just let's
Speaker 1: just free associate right now. And let's just go back
Speaker 1: and forth and name some of our favorite Christmas gifts. Okay, dollhouse,
Speaker 1: oh Ice, hockey stick, Malbo, Barbie, easy bake oven, World
Speaker 1: War two German lugar, pistol from my uncle Jetty, pantyhose
Speaker 1: gift certificate to black Angus micronots, assigned Hustler magazine from
Speaker 1: former actor Jimmy Con. Oh you that was a Christmas present? Recived?
Speaker 1: You gave that to me? That's right, that was a
Speaker 1: good one. The look on your face when you unwrapped that.
Speaker 1: Did you really get Jimmy CON's signature on that? It
Speaker 1: was signed by Jimmy Con, wasn't it? Sure? Okay, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I forged it, Carolina, You're too good. I'm pretty good
Speaker 1: at forging celebrity autographs in. But I couldn't quite get
Speaker 1: Jimmy CON's down. Yeah. You know how many hustlers I ruined?
Speaker 1: I just didn't. I mean, later I realized ron just
Speaker 1: practice on a piece of scratch paper. You don't have
Speaker 1: to buy a stack of hustlers to work on Jimmy
Speaker 1: CON's signature. It just seems like a weird actor, and
Speaker 1: I never heard you talk about him. That's why, you know,
Speaker 1: That's why my garage I'm always like, don't go near
Speaker 1: that corner. Those are all fake signed copies of hustler
Speaker 1: Jimmy con fake signed Wow. But anyway, I'm still glad
Speaker 1: you enjoyed the gift. Did you ever look through the pages? Um? No,
Speaker 1: I did not. I don't look at stuff like that.
Speaker 1: One of my favorite gifts was a metal detector. Have
Speaker 1: you ever seen oftentimes you'll see people on the beach
Speaker 1: with the with the metal sectors looking for trinkets and
Speaker 1: stuff like that. Well, when when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: I received a metal detector and I absolutely loved it.
Speaker 1: I would get home from school and I'd rush to
Speaker 1: the beach down in San Diego and hunt for buried treasure.
Speaker 1: I never worked a summer job because I would. I
Speaker 1: would collect anywhere from nine to twelve thousand dollars and change.
Speaker 1: I know, really that's a lot of change. And they
Speaker 1: hated me at the bank because I refused to rule
Speaker 1: the change and I would just bring it in big,
Speaker 1: big grocery bags doubled. I'd have a double up the
Speaker 1: grocery banks because they're so heavy, and I would make
Speaker 1: the teller counted out in front of me, and I
Speaker 1: had already pre counted it, so I knew exactly how
Speaker 1: much there was. Well, have you already pre counted it?
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you just go ahead and put the change
Speaker 1: in money? Wouldn't that have been easy? I know you
Speaker 1: would think that I would do that, but I just
Speaker 1: didn't want the bank teller to get off easy. For
Speaker 1: some reason, I can't explain it. I just really wanted
Speaker 1: her to do her job well. Anyway, one day, I'm
Speaker 1: scouring the beach and my metal detector is going berserk.
Speaker 1: It just won't stop beeping right. So I'm wondering what
Speaker 1: what is going on here? And I I walk almost
Speaker 1: I walk the length I would say it's three feet
Speaker 1: the whole time. The beeping just keeps going and going
Speaker 1: and going and going and going. But it's consistent as
Speaker 1: if it's one chunk of metal. Well, I start to dig,
Speaker 1: and I dig, and I dig and I dig next thing,
Speaker 1: and I look up and there are fifty beach goers
Speaker 1: helping me dig. We dig well into the night, and finally,
Speaker 1: at seven am the following morning, we reach pay dirt.
Speaker 1: Teenager Ron Burgundy and his prize metal detector had discovered
Speaker 1: it World War two Japanese submarine missing an action for
Speaker 1: over seventy years. Yes, it was truly incredible and it
Speaker 1: was people just erupted and cheers. A Japanese sub It
Speaker 1: had been missing for over seventy years in action, and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden we start hearing this ping ping, ping, ping,
Speaker 1: ping ping pink and we opened up the hatch and
Speaker 1: everyone was still alive. No, No, they were just skeletons
Speaker 1: in there. Jesus. Yeah, but it was. It was very incredible. Um.
Speaker 1: The Japanese government at that time invited me to the
Speaker 1: Tokyo Cherry Blossom Festival for honoring their war dead. Very moving. Ah,
Speaker 1: so I got to go to Tokyo. Uh, at least
Speaker 1: I think I was in Tokyo. I hope that was Tokyo,
Speaker 1: but regardless it was. It was a very moving and
Speaker 1: a wonderful Christmas. Wow. Yeah, that story is incredible, missing
Speaker 1: for over seventy years, and it was it was under
Speaker 1: their feet the whole time. Yeah. I can't believe it
Speaker 1: just buried under the sand. Under the sand. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: I guess the moral to that story is, um get
Speaker 1: yourself a metal detector and you might could be your
Speaker 1: key to adventure. M hmm, yeah, right, should we take
Speaker 1: another break? Yeah, sure, let's take a break. Are you okay? Yeah? No,
Speaker 1: I'm just interested. Are you mad at me? No? No? Alright,
Speaker 1: it's good. Come up next. We have a wonderful guest
Speaker 1: who's going to be joining us here in the podcast
Speaker 1: studio right after this. Alright, you're back on the Ron
Speaker 1: Burgundy podcast, Caroline, if you will tell us about our
Speaker 1: our guests that we have joining us here in studio,
Speaker 1: a gentleman by the name of Andrew. He has a
Speaker 1: very interesting story. So for our Christmas episode, Ron asked
Speaker 1: me to find someone who celebrated Christmas. That was the
Speaker 1: only directive. So it was the last minute decision. I
Speaker 1: was in line in Starbucks. I asked, has anyone here,
Speaker 1: out of curiosity, celebrated the holiday Christmas? Um? Andrew was
Speaker 1: a gentleman in front of me. Um. He agreed to
Speaker 1: a discussed the holiday and his experience with it in
Speaker 1: exchange for a fee. Um, and we're paying him. We
Speaker 1: can discuss that later as long as it doesn't come
Speaker 1: out of my bi paycheck. I know, I know. We've
Speaker 1: bab has got to make his bones. I always say
Speaker 1: that what does Papa have to make? I wish you
Speaker 1: wouldn't make me finish that. Bob has got to make
Speaker 1: his what his bones? I would like to move on.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the studio, Andrew. Understand from Carolina's introduction you
Speaker 1: are an expert on Christmas? What do you? I mean,
Speaker 1: what don't you know about Christmas? Well, to clarify, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm an expert on Christmas, but I
Speaker 1: do celebrate it. Okay, great, we also have you? Have
Speaker 1: you always celebrated Christmas? I mean yeah, I think that
Speaker 1: was a little boy. I mean I grew up in
Speaker 1: a household at celebrated and why because you just you
Speaker 1: loved it so much? Well, I mean it's the holiday
Speaker 1: that I think you know a lot of Christy. Maybe
Speaker 1: a lot of people celebrate I don't know. I just
Speaker 1: I think it's how did you become expert on Christmas? Again,
Speaker 1: I probably know as much about Christmas as you're average American.
Speaker 1: I would assume, huh, I think you're being coy. You
Speaker 1: can tell us more. I think you're holding an ace
Speaker 1: and three jacks, but they're dressed in Christmas colors and
Speaker 1: one has a little Santa Beard. Okay, so how do
Speaker 1: you celebrate someone who's a Christmas expert like yourself. I'm
Speaker 1: just curious, how would you celebrate differently than say, a
Speaker 1: layman like myself, the average Christmas uh participant. I mean, honestly,
Speaker 1: I think most of us celebrate Christmas in a similar way,
Speaker 1: at least my friends and I would. You know, like
Speaker 1: when I was a boy, you wouldn't wake up in
Speaker 1: the morning and you would go downstairs and there would
Speaker 1: be presents under the tree on Christmas Day. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: would be on Christmas Day, and some people open on
Speaker 1: Christmas Eve. What do you think of that? Now? I
Speaker 1: know that that's a little controversial. I think that's a
Speaker 1: different kind of cheating. Mm hmm. I don't you know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I just I just know from my experience.
Speaker 1: We would wake up in the morning and we would
Speaker 1: go and I know I would beg my. My parents
Speaker 1: would be like, can please can we open one president
Speaker 1: on Christmas Eve? And they'd be like, what about your stocking?
Speaker 1: Maybe go check your stocking? Well that and sure enough
Speaker 1: I checked my stocking. Guess what was in there? An
Speaker 1: orange and some playing cards. Give me a fucking break Okay, geez, anyway,
Speaker 1: I digress. So, being a Christmas expert, you choose to
Speaker 1: open them on Christmas Day. Yeah, that's that was a
Speaker 1: typical of our family. Would and what would you do
Speaker 1: after that? Well, you know, I mean when we were young,
Speaker 1: we would play with the toys for a while and
Speaker 1: then there would you know, maybe be like some breakfast
Speaker 1: or something that we would eat and and but you know,
Speaker 1: you prepare for later, maybe a meal or something in
Speaker 1: family gets together and maybe you have a relatives there
Speaker 1: or something to eat. And would you would you leave
Speaker 1: would you leave a treat for Santa the night before? Maybe?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, when you when you're young, you you know,
Speaker 1: you leave cookies and milk and a little note for
Speaker 1: for Santa and hopes that he gets it. And you know,
Speaker 1: of course, I mean I'm a father now and oh
Speaker 1: so you have children, I do, so we celebrate that
Speaker 1: Christmas basically the same way that I celebrated it. We
Speaker 1: would leave Santa a chuck roast interesting, yeah, with potatoes
Speaker 1: and all the trimmings. And whether they're in the morning,
Speaker 1: they would always he would always take a you know,
Speaker 1: I think he's got he's got so much ground, he's
Speaker 1: got a cover. He doesn't want to get way down. Um,
Speaker 1: so he would just take a delicate little bite and
Speaker 1: so we eat the rest of that chuck roast for
Speaker 1: that week, and we make it last until All Queens Day,
Speaker 1: which I believe this January. M Yeah, we'll have to
Speaker 1: look into that. You just did cookies and milk. What's
Speaker 1: you're feeling on holiday fruitcakes? Um? They weren't big in
Speaker 1: our household, but we would have their little dents. Don't
Speaker 1: you think it's a heavier kids, Yes, yeah, a heavier cake. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you do you watch die Hard on Christmas? Die
Speaker 1: Hard is not really a Christmas movie? Well? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was discussed sort of. That's more of an action thriller.
Speaker 1: You can watch anything. I think it takes place on Christmas,
Speaker 1: And I right you. You know what, the more I
Speaker 1: talked to you just sound like an ordinary guy who
Speaker 1: celebrates Christmas and you're not a Christmas at all. I
Speaker 1: think that's what I told you. Your friend here, Carolina,
Speaker 1: is that what he told you? He was just asked
Speaker 1: why did you bring him in then? Because you just
Speaker 1: asked me to kid someone to celebrate Christmas? So I
Speaker 1: had like thirty minutes before the podcast, plenty of time,
Speaker 1: and I got someone who celebrated Christmas. But I thought
Speaker 1: that he would know more, you'd have more insight. It's
Speaker 1: like a regular guy. I don't even know. This guy's
Speaker 1: a dud. I can hear that. Andrew. It is a
Speaker 1: pleasure to have you here in the studio. UM. A
Speaker 1: lot of people do interesting things. I've noticed. For instance,
Speaker 1: some families it's a tradition to go see a movie
Speaker 1: on Christmas, right, Or some people are especially here in
Speaker 1: the California area, are really into fitness. And do you
Speaker 1: go to the gym on Christmas Day? Because I think
Speaker 1: about it, it's one of the few places that still
Speaker 1: open on Christmas, the gym. Probably for a good reason.
Speaker 1: Uh No, I I think that would be weird. Because
Speaker 1: we used to We used to hit the heavy bag
Speaker 1: after we'd open our presence. We go down to the basement,
Speaker 1: hit the heavy bag, and I'd get on one of
Speaker 1: those nineteen fifties jiggle machine, you know the belt that
Speaker 1: goes around your waist and goest go got go, got
Speaker 1: got got got got got gog, or you could set
Speaker 1: it to a higher speed. One time, one time I
Speaker 1: fainted and I had it at the high speed and
Speaker 1: gerger and then it got around my neck and almost
Speaker 1: afisiated me. Those machines aren't very effective, if I understand correctly,
Speaker 1: in helping you the nineteen fifties jiggle machine. Uh, Carolina,
Speaker 1: why don't you ask the US Olympic Committee if they
Speaker 1: are effective? Because they are currently in use as part
Speaker 1: of their training for the track and field team. So
Speaker 1: tell that to USA Olympics. Andrew one another question. Do
Speaker 1: do you like egg nog or do you find it
Speaker 1: too thick? I like, yeah, I do too. I think
Speaker 1: it's Yeah, it's very delicious. I don't wish they would
Speaker 1: fill at the other times of the year. I've always
Speaker 1: said that. I've always said, anyone who starts selling eggnog
Speaker 1: year round, that's a million dollar business. Ron actually usually
Speaker 1: asks for eggnog, and someone says, can I get you coffee?
Speaker 1: I'll take an eggnog. I would love an eggnog. Hot
Speaker 1: summer day. Big picture of eggnog. I mean it's a
Speaker 1: little fattening. Yeah, I mean it's a treat. HM put
Speaker 1: a little something extra in it, Do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? I mean, I don't That's not how I like,
Speaker 1: but I get it a little more bourbon. Hold the eggnog, right,
Speaker 1: not not for me, but some people, but for some people.
Speaker 1: And not for me either, but for some people. In
Speaker 1: quotes air quotes, Well, huh, this is I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: say this is probably more me than you. But this
Speaker 1: has been a terrible interview. Okay, do you mind if
Speaker 1: we send you home? We're not sending you home, We're
Speaker 1: just gonna let you go out. We're just gonna do
Speaker 1: we still have to pay you. Who do I talk
Speaker 1: to about seventy five? I didn't know what to say.
Speaker 1: He wouldn't go for twenty Carolina. We can get it
Speaker 1: from the talent booker. We can also get it from
Speaker 1: your pocketbook, okay, because I don't. I don't want to
Speaker 1: go to the talent booker again and ask for more money.
Speaker 1: I already she already gave me five for the for
Speaker 1: the weekend. I need some walking around cash. That's not okay.
Speaker 1: We are on a tight budget. I know where it will,
Speaker 1: trust me. These podcasts are supposed to get me through
Speaker 1: the end of the year, and I haven't seen a
Speaker 1: check yet. Okay, I just I wish you wouldn't put
Speaker 1: her in that position, Andrew were happy to pay you.
Speaker 1: Carolina will pay you out of her her own money. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you. Can you take do you need all seventy
Speaker 1: five dollars up front? Yeah? I mean that's what you're promised.
Speaker 1: That's it, you know what, It's the least we can do. Um,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Andrew supposed expert on Christmas, turns
Speaker 1: out he was just a guy who celebrates Christmas. Um.
Speaker 1: Big let down for the podcast audience and for myself. Um.
Speaker 1: But you know what, Ultimately, as I've said from the beginning,
Speaker 1: we're going to make mistakes. It falls on me. I
Speaker 1: can take it. We'll learn from this and we'll improve
Speaker 1: upon it. Thank you and you for your time. Thank
Speaker 1: you for coming in. Thank you. We'll be right back
Speaker 1: with some of my final thoughts. Oh okay, yes we're back, Carolina.
Speaker 1: Let's do our fact checks. Tell me how we did. Oh,
Speaker 1: we did pretty good. Die Hard is not a Christmas movie.
Speaker 1: It's not in that genre. Um, well, it's classified as
Speaker 1: an action thriller. Debatable. Okay, I can take a hit
Speaker 1: on that one. Fine, Okay. Uh. January is not Queen's Day,
Speaker 1: all Queen's Day. Sorry, January is not all Queen's Day now, Okay,
Speaker 1: so what did I miss it by one? Um? This
Speaker 1: is a longer conversation about the holiday. Um, Jimmy Stewart, Yes,
Speaker 1: the actor, Jimmy Stewart. It's Jimmy. Um, it's not sc h,
Speaker 1: it's s T S T. So no, sure, Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just gonna take a second because I've got Jimmy Stewart
Speaker 1: locked in. Yeah, so it's just Jimmy Stewart. Yeah. Maybe
Speaker 1: say it to yourself three times a day. Um, and
Speaker 1: then let me write that down. Say Jimmy Stewart three
Speaker 1: times a day. Say Jimmy Stewart three times a day. Okay, Um.
Speaker 1: And then the submarine story. So we're talking about my
Speaker 1: favorite memories. I'm gonna say the mid nineties, seventies, in
Speaker 1: early sixties. Um, so in that submarine was seventy years old.
Speaker 1: It's just a numbers thing, you know what. The numbers
Speaker 1: aren't adding up, are you? Are you claiming that I've
Speaker 1: made up the story? You know what? No, we want it.
Speaker 1: Everyone in this community wants that story to be true.
Speaker 1: And so it's just a numbers problem. We've just got
Speaker 1: to sit and crunch because I'm trying at a few
Speaker 1: different angles. Crunch all you want, and you'll find a
Speaker 1: hundred times that story is true. Okay, you can crunch
Speaker 1: till the numbers are so crunched up their dust. But
Speaker 1: that story. I stand by that story. Okay, it's just
Speaker 1: it's a a factual thing. Thank you, Carolina. Once again,
Speaker 1: I think it, whether I like it or not, I
Speaker 1: think it's important to fact check the show. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: it's like illegal thing at this point. Here's my final thoughts.
Speaker 1: I think what we learned today is that Christmas doesn't
Speaker 1: just take place on December. As far as I'm concerned,
Speaker 1: Christmas is every day of the year. Let's make a
Speaker 1: commitment as the human race to treat each other with
Speaker 1: kindness and dignity befitting of the holiday season. Let the
Speaker 1: Christmas spirit start at the bottom of your feet, reach
Speaker 1: the top of your head, but land in your fart.
Speaker 1: I mean, heart, God, I did it again. Why do
Speaker 1: I always do that when I'm trying to sound meaningful? Ah,
Speaker 1: you get the gist. This is Ron Burgundy. See you
Speaker 1: next Thursday on the Ron Burgundy Podcast. The Ron Burgundy
Speaker 1: Podcast is a production of I Heart Radio podcast Network
Speaker 1: and Funnier Die I'm Ron Burgundy. I'm the host, writer
Speaker 1: and executive producer. Carolina Barlow is my co host, writer
Speaker 1: and producer. The show was also produced by Whitney Hodeck,
Speaker 1: Jack O'Brien, Miles Gray, and Nick Stump. Our executive producer
Speaker 1: is Mike farre Our consulting producer is Andrew Steel. Our
Speaker 1: associate producer is Anna Hosnier. Our writer is Jake Vogeless.
Speaker 1: Our production supervisor is Colin McDougall. This episode was engineered, mixed,
Speaker 1: and edited by Nick Stump. Until next time, this was
Speaker 1: Ron Burgundy.